Relationships

15 of the Funniest Reader Comments

Lucy and Ethel

One of the best parts of working on Cup of Jo is reading the wonderful and wise comments section. Whether we tackle serious topics like grief and mental illness or lighthearted things like simple pleasures and tongue twisters, Cup of Jo readers always know what to say. Here are 15 hilarious comments from the past year that cracked us up…

On dogs:

“The best greeting card I have ever seen read the following:
‘Loving this concept!’
– God, creating dogs

I think about this and laugh out loud at least once a day.” — Calla

On little dudes:

“Sometimes I tell my three-year-old about all the places he traveled when he was in my tummy. The other day we were talking about something in the past, and he simply asked if he was, ‘in or out.’” — Elizabeth

“Last weekend my boyfriend’s son asked me about my Fitbit, ‘Does it tell you how many days you have left to live?'” — Millie

“Me: Jane, is Gemma’s sister Anna or Hanna?

Jane: I don’t know. Just call her Karen.” — Lousia

“My three-year-old couldn’t remember the word ‘chin’ the other day, so he said, ‘the ceiling of your neck.'” — Jennifer

On making small talk:

“I *HATE* the, ‘Got any plans this evening?’ go-to of checkout persons everywhere. It’s Tuesday night at 7 p.m. and I’m at Whole Foods; I’m not heading to a rager afterwards.” — Meredith

“This is how things go at a restaurant:
Server: Enjoy your entree!
Me: (reflexively) You too!

Guess I’ll go die now…” — Ellie

On romantic encounters:

“I was a late bloomer, and my first boyfriend wanted to make my first kiss memorable. One night, he invited our friends over for a movie night. His family had a small orchard, and as it was getting dark, he said he wanted to show me something. We walked outside, stood in the orchard shivering for a bit, and he snapped his fingers. Suddenly the trees lit up with white fairy lights and I Can Love You Like That by All-4-One started playing. I stared at him wide-eyed as he invited me to slow dance. We awkwardly shuffled around the orchard, and he asked me if I’d go to the homecoming dance with him. I said I’d have to check with my parents! That apparently didn’t kill the mood, though, because he announced that he was going to give me my first kiss. It was a little sloppy, but I thought it was fine – until all our friends emerged from the darkness, applauding! Apparently his finger-snapping had been a cue to them to plug in the lights and turn on the boombox, and instead of skedaddling after, they stuck around and watched our first kiss. Mortifying. But I can’t say he didn’t make it memorable.” — Michaela

On things in your bag:

“On the way home from the hospital with my first baby, I dropped my bag and a tampon rolled out. My husband was like, ‘YOU HAVEN’T CLEANED OUT YOUR BAG IN NINE MONTHS?'” — Gemma

On relationship pet peeves:

“My husband does not clear his throat when he has a frog in it. He carries on talking in this phlegm-y Dalek voice. He screws lids on jars so tight I have a heart attack trying to open them, brought on by physical exertion and RRRAAAGE. Does not chew his food, but he chews soup and I can hear his teeth gnashing the liquid. BUT! He always always leaves the toilet seat down and for that, I forgive him for everything.” — Caucus

“My partner makes little moaning noises when he brushes his teeth. It drives me so bananas I can’t even be in the same room; it’s like listening to porn for dentists.” — Leigh

“My husband does this thing when he sleeps called a ‘salmon flip.’ He’ll be on his side facing one way, and then, while asleep, he will launch into the air, and flip so that he lands facing the other way. The first time this happened, I thought there was an earthquake. It wakes me up every time. But he doesn’t even wake up!” — Jill

On exercising:

“Whenever I run, I’m reminded of this tweet by @rebeccamix:

Me before exercising: I’m going to hate this.
Me, exercising: I hate this I hate this I hate this.
Me after exercising: Athena herself has blessed me. No man can defeat me. Fire runs through my blood and my bones are crafted from steel. Tremble, mortals, for I shall LIVE FOREVER.

I feel that.” — Amanda

On last wishes:

“I read an obituary once that said at the end, ‘In lieu of flowers, please return your shopping carts to the store don’t leave them all over the parking lot. That drove Larry crazy and it was his one wish for humanity.'” — S. Carson

…Plus, so many cute moments!!!
Linsey on Samin Nosrat’s beauty uniform: “*In Chandler Bing voice* Could she BE any more charming??”
Hali on Cup of Jo gift guides: “COJ GGs! IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! *twirls*”
Cherri on what’s your hobby?: “Existential dread.”

Thank you, as always, for reading. xoxo

P.S. More brilliant reader comments, and a genius friendship tip.

  1. Ryan says...

    I’m so late to catching up on my blog reading but I have to say, the salmon flip is not only one of the funniest comments on here, but one of the funniest things I’ve read. I get uncontrollable giggles trying to imagine it.

  2. Alex says...

    I remember reading that comment about the obituary when it was first posted, and I just want to say that Larry has haunted me in the grocery store parking lot ever since. I will never be able to leave my cart behind again.

    • Alex says...

      And clearly I should have read through the comments before adding my own, because it seems Larry made an impression on many of us. DO IT FOR LARRY! :)

  3. Lea says...

    @Katie – parenting in the age of fear – so true. This is why one of the best parenting tips is to park your car next to the cart corral, NOT next to the front of the store!

  4. Lindsay says...

    LOL’d and ugly cried at the same time reading these. Thank you for allowing comments on your site because CupofJo comments are seriously the best!!!

  5. Preeti says...

    Thank you so much COJ team and all the women readers who make this site, my shelter in the storm. Its been a tough day, and am glad I stopped by. been grinning reading the post and the comments and then grinning cos I caught myself grinning.
    Getting back to work, with shoulders squared and “ceiling of my neck” up!

  6. Sarah Jane Timmins says...

    Ever since I read the thing about Larry I have NOT been able to leave a cart behind. At a busy day at Costco I might have even picked up a few strays and returned them. All for Larry. Gets me every. damn. time.

    • Anne Mallen says...

      Me too!! I just do it and love the thought of doing it for Larry.

  7. Katie says...

    Love these laughs! I just got a journal in hopes of capturing my son’s adorable lingo. Most recently he felt sick and explained that his “tummy liquids hurted”. I’m definitely making tummy liquids a thing! (Thank heavens those liquids stayed put)

  8. KY says...

    Thank you! Made my day :)

  9. Nan says...

    Been putting away my carts (allllll the way to the store) just for Larry for months!

  10. Katie Greene says...

    This is amazing!!!! I’m laying in bed mildly sick with my sick kid and this made me feel 100 times better!!! The salmon flip, the shopping carts wish, and the “existential dread” are winners in my book!

  11. Rachel says...

    OMG my husband does that same weird moaning thing while brushing his teeth and it grosses me out so much! What is that?!?

    • Deborah says...

      My husband moans while he is in the shower. It drives me bananas. I’ve asked him to stop and he just can’t. I don’t get it and it makes me crazy.

  12. Jen says...

    What a fantastic roundup! Even the comments on the comments are funny. I love it here so much.

    Speaking of “Karen”:
    Once I answered the phone at work with Hi this is Jen, and the caller said, Oh hi Joan, and I said, No, this is Jen, and she said Oh hi Karen. I gave up after that, but then, just for fun, I started answering the phone as Karen once in a while after that.

    • Aisha says...

      I have to admit, I’m guilty of doing this: people who I’ve called will return a call and introduce themselves, after which I immediately call them by a different name.

    • Rae says...

      I can’t stop laughing over this one :D

  13. Christina says...

    That bit about the tampon still has me laughing. I can totally relate!

  14. Sharon says...

    The comment on small talk at Whole Foods had me! so true!

  15. Nade says...

    Omg, does anybody could help to decide what is more funny – the man flipping salmon or the abundance of men flipping while slipping (in the comments)?

  16. cappy says...

    I am dying over salmon flip!!!!
    Here’s one for you…My 5-year old while watching Polar Express… “Mommy, what is the naughty list?” Me: “It’s a list when children have bad behavior.” Son in the sweetest voice: “You mean for kids that say “Shut the F@#$ up” or “Son of a B*&^%?”” Me deep breathing and keeping a poker face while Grandparents’ chins hit the floor…”umm, yes”. Son…”Phew, it’s a good thing I don’t say that or I would be on that list!”

    • Jessa says...

      Oh gosh this one had me laughing out loud! I nearly spat out my water everywhere. Gotta love the innocence (or not) of kids!

  17. Ramona says...

    I have been laughing about that shopping cart obit since I read it the first time. Thanks, S. Carson!

  18. Sarah E says...

    Where is the comment from a while back on family vacations where the commenter as a child ended up at a hotel with mirrors on the ceiling and a coin operated water bed and a heart shaped tub?? Truly that might have been the funniest thing I read all year!! A true gem.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Oh yes!! Haha I loved that one.

    • Lilly says...

      I loved that one too! I still remember that the mom wouldn’t even allow the dog to sleep on the bed!

  19. amy says...

    Like, you know the comments are gold when you’re commenting on the comments post! Legit look forward to combing through them every time I’m here!

  20. michaela says...

    I shared this post with my husband since my first-kiss story was featured (hello, mortification afresh!) and that’s how I learned that I apparently never told him that story! I can’t believe I somehow kept that epic of teenage romance to myself.

    Also, after reading these, the husband was dying to know if he’s a “salmon flipper.” I’ve told him before that he flails and flops in his sleep, but I think he was really looking for the “salmon” qualification. (He adores them. Like a lot. Like I bought him a salmon-themed Star Wars parody shirt that says “RETURN OF THE SOCKEYE” and he solemnly whispered, “It’s great because salmon *do* return.”) So thank you to all these amazing comments for cracking us up!

    • Meg S says...

      Jo, just hire this lady already.

    • Amy says...

      No joke, need to hire! I’m snort laughing at Return of the Sockeye.

    • Margaret says...

      Lol!!!

    • shannon says...

      😂😂😂 yes, more from Michaela pretty please!

    • Paula says...

      OMG I’m just dying over the star wars/salmon part of this story

    • Barbara says...

      I CANNOT stop laughing! Commenter of the year!

    • Liza says...

      “It’s great because salmon DO return” is killing me. Echoing more Michaela in 2K19!

  21. Elizabeth says...

    Just call her Karen. Ahahahahaha!

  22. Iris Fugate says...

    Wow I just wheeze laughed my way through the relationships section of this post. I actually had to wipe my eyes between sentences in the salmon flip entry, mainly because I can picture exactly what is happening in that scenario because my 6’3″ freak of a giant husband does the EXACT same thing and has fallen off the bed more than once doing it.

    • Jeanne says...

      Okay I chuckled at the salmon flip but I outright gaffawed at the image of your 6′ 3″ husband falling off the bed!

    • Mimi says...

      Lol – I’m always terrified my 6’3” salmon flipper of a husband is going to fall out of bed, too!🤣

  23. Heather says...

    Oh Larry! If you only knew what an impact you made on the world. I think of him every single time I am at the grocery.
    Thanks for the laughs today!

    • Shannon says...

      Me too!!! Since I heard of Larry’s wishes I have even started grabbing extra carts on my way to the cart-corral.

    • Meg says...

      I totally think of Larry at the store. Best thing ever.

    • Hillary F. says...

      I do too. I do too. RIP Larry.

  24. laetitia says...

    Thank you for making “I can Love you Like That” song of the day, Major throwback!!! All the feels :)

    • Carrie says...

      I mean it was like someone snapped their fingers in my head and the song started playing

  25. Lucia says...

    Love these! I read the comment about Larry’s obituary earlier this year and ever since I ALWAYS return my cart. Thank you S. Carson for sharing that gem!

  26. Lisa says...

    When I saw this blog post title I thought “there’s no way the salmon flip comment isn’t included.” So freaking funny I still think about it when my fiancé flairs around in his sleep.

  27. Ruby says...

    Larry and I would have been friends. I too feel strong feelings about shopping carts being put in their designated spaces after use.

    • Andrea says...

      I agree. I get off the chain about some common good issues like stacking your bin after the airport security check. My husband has come to know that my Italian genes for order flair at certain times…

    • Katie says...

      So, just food for thought – as a new mom, sometimes you CAN’T put that cart back. You see, the safest thing for your baby is to get them out of the cart in the dangerous parking lot first (because car accidents from people not paying attention or misjudging). BUT, once you put that baby in the car, if you walk away and in those five seconds someone comes by and sees that baby in the car unattended, they might call the cops. And then you might be pulled over on your way home for child endangerment. Yes, this really happened. This is what it looks like to be parenting in the age of fear….

  28. Jess. says...

    “Existential dread.” I am dying! This was so great. This community is so great. xox

  29. Lindsey says...

    I remember so many of these! The comments section truly is amazing. And also, I was quoted!! Oh my gosh, I feel like I just met a celebrity or something! I told my husband that even though I’m famous now, he can still walk next to me. :)

    Love this community so much. Some days when it’s been less than ideal, I go back through old posts (like the simple pleasures one) and reading everyone’s sweet words reminds me that there is SO much good in this world, and a lot of it is found right here, amongst women. I feel certain that if we all met each other (how many readers do you have now, Jo? millions??), we’d get along famously. Thank you as always, Joanna and team, for creating this space. It’s so needed.

  30. Allison says...

    The COJGG comment! My wife was momentarily expressing some doubt about what she got me for Christmas this year, but then triumphantly stated after a momentary pause, “…but I got the ideas off Cup of Jo so I KNOW they’re going to be good!” Not only are the gifts amazing, but they come with peace of mind for the giver.

  31. Louisa says...

    I want to add a line to my resumé – “featured in CoJ reader comments”! My family now says “Just call her Karen” any time we can’t remember someone’s name :)

    And (like everyone) I think of Larry every time I’m at the grocery. And I think of Meredith every time the cashier asks about my plans!

    • Sarah says...

      Am I the only one who doesn’t get this joke?? I know I know…I feel like a moron…but will you please explain?? I feel ridiculous even asking!

  32. Ellen says...

    HAHAHAH I CAN HEAR HIS TEETH GNASHING THE LIQUID hahah my smile is HUGE right now

    • Carrie says...

      I am silently dying laughing at my desk over that. My husband chews his ice cream so I know her struggle. I love him so much….so I have to leave the room when he does this

    • Oof! Reading that made me so uncomfortable. Like, OW!

  33. Marla says...

    Thanks for this. I laughed out loud and really needed that today.

  34. Aimee says...

    I cannot adequately convey how validated I feel about the Salmon Flip. My husband does what I refer to as the “pop and flip” which is exactly the same thing as the salmon version. It defies the laws of physics, and since he’s a fairly substantially-sized human, the seismic fallout is jarring, to say the least. He tells me I’m being dramatic. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been blasted wide awake, frantically trying to grasp onto something to prevent being jolted over the side and onto the floor.

    • Nicole says...

      Aimee, you are not alone. Right there with you. Drama queens unite!

  35. Okay, that “salmon flip” thing made me laugh so hard that I spit out my precious coffee.

  36. Ellen says...

    This morning’s discussion on dogs:
    Husband: “My colleague just got another wiener dog. She’s going to breed them.”
    5 Year old: “What’s breed mean?”
    Me: “It means they will have wiener dog puppies.”
    Husband: “But they are long-haired wiener dogs, and I don’t like those as much.”
    5 Year old: “I like long wieners!”
    Note to self: Need to work on my (dying-from-laughter-inside) poker face!

    • Kelly says...

      hahaha!
      reminds me of the time i overheard my 4 year old daughter talking with her 3 year old boy cousin. Somehow they got on the topic of ‘boys have p3nises’ and then my daughter said very matter of factly: “My daddy has a VERY BIG p3nis!” to which her cousin replied: “My daddy also has a VERY BIG p3nis”.

      the dads (who are brothers) were quite tickled to hear this commentary.

  37. Christine says...

    To whomever first posted the comment about Larry and the shopping carts: I remember reading it the first time it was posted. And I think about Larry, may he Rest In Peace, EVERY time I’m in the grocery store parking lot. I’ll forever return my cart thanks to you, Larry, and cheers to brilliant CoJ comments being burned in our brains forever! Xo

  38. Nina says...

    Love these. I so enjoy reading comments. I learn as much from them as the posts.

    On a side note, I know you’ve stopped your gift guides but I was looking at one of my favorite non-ad magazine shops for last minute gifts and saw these adorable pins (I think it was Caroline who likes pins?) and thought others might like them. especially writers (look at the typewriter!). Not affiliated or anything like that just wanted to share. https://taprootmag.com/collections/taproot-goods?page=2

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Thank you!!

  39. Heidi says...

    I’m totally doing the silent wheeze-laugh with a side of tears at my desk right now trying to picture the “Salmon Flip.” TOO GOOD! “He doesn’t even wake up!” Omggg.

  40. talia says...

    Reading this at work and trying desperately not to laugh out loud! (I have a very distinct laugh!) So funny! Love this post!

  41. Ellie says...

    @Jill My husband does that too!!!! I call it whaling because it reminds me of the magazine photos of humpback whales half out of the water.

  42. Katy says...

    When COJ does a comment round-up, it warms my heart when I read comments in the round up that I read the first time “live” on the original post.

    • Yes! Me too!

    • Mirte says...

      I have the same feeling when my hometown is mentioned in a book, film or magazine. Bit like: ‘I was there!’

  43. Heather says...

    I am cracking up at my desk and trying to keep it together! These are too good!

  44. Claire says...

    I think about the comment about returning your shopping carts every time I’m returning a shopping cart and it makes me laugh. Larry’s legacy!

    • Jasna says...

      The worldwide power of CoJ – I live in Serbia and I also think about Larry when I am returning a shopping cart ever since I’ve read it! :-)

    • Kez says...

      I’m in New Zealand and also think of dear Larry, god rest his soul, every time I return the shopping cart (we call them trolleys here). He’s had an international reach!

  45. Laura C. says...

    Oh my God the Salmon Flip™
    I cannot love this site more than I do now

  46. Lauren says...

    The chin comment reminded me of my 2 year old recently musing that our cat has a belly button on her butt. I didn’t hear the comment first have but heard my husband laugh out loud from the other room.

    • Kady says...

      Kids are hilarious! My almost 4 year old forgot the word for elbow the other day and said “Mama, my arm ankle is hurting”

  47. Tessa says...

    I really needed this today, thank you!

  48. ListopadHygge says...

    DA BEST ! totally made my day !

  49. “On making small talk” was the best.
    Thanks for sharing here to us.

  50. Alice says...

    Cannot stop giggling at these!! But to be honest, the thing that had me CRYING with laughter yesterday was when I was working with a very reserved colleague on a script, and we were just finalising it. We got the last bit sorted, and he slapped his knees and goes “RIGHT! Done! Ready to be sucked off!” and my professional wall completely collapsed. I HOWLED, tears streaming down my face, while he stuttered “I meant pulled off! I mean, copied off! OH GOD JUST GET IT ON THE AUTOCUE!!!” . Best. Work. Moment. Ever!

    • This reminds me of my grandmother’s 85th birthday! We brought out her cake, complete with 85 candles, and she said very loudly (in the middle of a crowded restaurant) “I’m not ready for that blow job!” It took her a second, but when she realized what she said she laughed so hard she had tears streaming down her face and my dad had to literally hold her on her chair. I miss that laugh so much.

    • Emily L says...

      OMG laughing so hard I’m crying!!

    • Kelly says...

      haha. those are hilarious! Once at work we got assigned a last minute project that was going to take up the whole weekend. My colleague who was not a native English speaker was lamenting that he was going to have to cancel a staycation night at a hotel with his wife. “Ach,” says he, “I had promised her a dirty weekend together.”

      I was quite startled by this oversharing until it occurred to me to ask him if he meant ‘romantic’ weekend …

    • Amy says...

      Love this comment!!! Reminds me of when my husband was starting a job at a new practice and the elderly, esteemed head doctor of the practice emailed him and said “Welcome! Give us a few moments to get your paperwork in order. We have to get our dicks in a row.” Someone else replied all and just said “….DUCKS in a row.”

    • TNT says...

      My very serious colleague was a much beloved philosophy professor. The white-haired and magnificently bearded type who clearly saw Dumbledore or Gandalf the Gray as fashion inspirations. Once upon a time, he sent a university-wide email announcing an upcoming event with a guest speaker. Unfortunately for him, and to our everlasting amusement, he listed one of her job titles as “Director of Pubic Policy at X Institute”.

      But apparently everyone was too polite to say anything because the exact same email was sent out again just a few days later. The guest speaker was a friend, but I never had the heart to tell her about her new job title…

  51. My husband also tightens the lid on jars far too tight. When he’s not around to make him loosen them back up, I hit the edge of the lid with a big spoon or the back of a knife a few times and then I can usually open it.

    • cgw says...

      If the lid is too tight I do a spoon thing too, but with a different method. I used to hit the edge but got scared that I would crack the jar. What I do is take a spoon and slip the tip of it into the thread and pry a bit to release the air pressure and to lift the metal lid away from the jar. It really does the trick, even for tightened jars (as opposed to unopened, vacuumed jars).

    • Kelly says...

      also slip your hand in a rubber dish glove for extra gripping power!

    • Laura Allen says...

      A rubber band slipped right under the lid works great too! Super easy ♥️

  52. Julia Burt says...

    That salmon flip! I am so glad I am not the only one who has to experience this every night. I live in Christchurch NZ and earthquakes are common. In the middle of the night I have to decipher it was a Salmon Flip or a real earthquake!!

  53. Ann says...

    Laughing so loud in my empty classroom. People get me here!
    Mini heart attacks, physical exertion, and raaaaggggeee are real when my husband screws the lids on our salsa and pickles. I then text him immediately to let him know he’s caused this injustice, and that I (so strong and capable) have opened it. But I’m still not happy about it!

    • jo cohen says...

      omg those pet peeves made me laugh out loud in my office. SO funny…

  54. Martha says...

    The neck ceiling thing took my back to when my nephew forgot the word for “tongue.” So he called it his “licking thing”!! Kids are the best.

    • Katie says...

      My son wasn’t sure what to call the crook of his elbow so he called it “the armpit of my elbow.” I love that!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Mu kids call their big toe their “foot thumb.” Makes me laugh every time.

    • lkb says...

      I love their inventiveness! I remember when my son was pretty little, some of his skin was super dry and it hurt/burned, but he didn’t have the words, so he said “Mom! It feels spicy!”.

      I knew just what he meant. Good use of the words you do have, kid.

    • Amy says...

      They do come up with some very sensible words! I’ve considered adopting their use of “knee pit” and “yesternight” – they totally make sense!

    • Alex says...

      This makes me think of when my husband and I were staying in a nice hotel once and I came out of the bathroom wearing one of the fluffy white robes and he said, “Oooh where’d you get that towel suit? Is there another?” Lol…Men say the darndest things!

  55. TRISH C says...

    The first time I read about one reader’s husband’s “salmon flip” I actually chuckled out loud.
    I just read it again, and again a loud laugh. That is hilarious!
    Thanks for sharing. And for the amusing visual. And earthquake sound.

    • Kimberley says...

      Same! Laughed out loud both times! hehehehe…x

    • Jamie says...

      Saaaaame about the salmon flip. Literal LOL.

    • Jenny says...

      Cannot contain myself over the salmon flipping!!

  56. bisbee says...

    A few of these are very funny. Several of them I don’t get. I guess it’s because of what my husband calls my lack of understanding of
    “kibitzing”. When he does this and says something he thinks is funny, I give him a blank stare…I don’t get it!

  57. This was so fun to read! Thank you for sharing!

  58. anonymous says...

    My husband is down with the flu and I have been solo-ing it with our two little this week, while still super nauseous and exhausted from the early stages of our third kiddo — it’s been a tough week. All that’s to say, thanks for a much needed dose of cheer!

  59. Yumi says...

    “I can hear his teeth gnashing the liquid” lolololol!!

  60. Erin Fraser says...

    Oh my god, I think about the salmon-flip on a regular basis and crack up every time!

  61. Kathy123 says...

    Holy Cow!! Laughed out loud at so many of these!! Especially at the “my husband doesn’t clear his frog in his throat” comment. NEITHER DOES HIS MOTHER- drives me cray cray!

  62. Chrissy Shea says...

    I swear you have already re-shared the “salmon flip” comment, but it is just as funny as The first time I read it.

    • Sasha L says...

      *salmon flip* pfft. My dear husband is a freaking Orca. Or gray whale. Or blue whale. Or whatever is the most giant-y thing in the freaking ocean. I swear I’ve been splashed out of the damn bed.

    • Megan says...

      +1! Gets me every time.

  63. Judy says...

    I remember reading about the shopping carts. I started putting them back because of Larry.

    • Hali says...

      I do too! I think of Larry every time!

    • Julia says...

      same here! also because it drives my boyfriend crazy, I think Larry has passed on the passion

  64. Lindsay says...

    Gemma’s comment about her tampon-filled bag made tears fall from my eyes. I snorted in my office. Even thinking about it later makes me laugh aloud.

  65. Kate says...

    The “salmon flip” has me shaking laughing while nursing. Poor baby keeps losing latch but I just can’t stop thinking about it and laughing over and over. Sorry, baby!

    • Hannah says...

      Me too! 2.15am and really should be trying to speed this along rather than slow it down.

  66. I have returned my shopping cart to the store every single time since I first read the Larry comment! And every time I think, “There you go, Larry.”

    • Florencia says...

      Haha! Me too. Larry would be so happy. You made a difference in the world Larry!

  67. Emily G says...

    ‘the ceiling of your neck.’ 🤣🤣🤣
    Also my husband does the salmon flip too. So annoying!

  68. Hali says...

    HAHA! I don’t even mind a little tiny bit that my name is spelled wrong! (I really don’t!) I MADE IT! Oh how much I love this blog and the CoJ Comment Chorus. The salmon flip story makes me laugh out loud so hard, I hope not to think of it while alone in public for fear of how strange I might look giggling.

    I’m formally requesting a CoJ collaboration with a rad apparel company that subtly references the Cup of Jo comments section. It would be a really lovely way to identify a new friend while out and about. I’d wear it everywhere.

    BIG BIG thanks for this circle of smart, casual, cool mom-figures you’ve put in my life!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Awww thank you! Love your ideas. And fixing your name spelling right now!! Xoxox

    • LS says...

      Omg I love this idea – I’m always wondering if new women I meet are also CoJ devotees. Maybe it could be an affordable tee? I know the last brand was expensive partially because it was ethical, but there has to be some middle ground…

    • Allison says...

      +1 to the rad apparel company collab!

    • b says...

      We could sight each other by our Salmon Flip tees. And since 2019’s Pantone color is coral, the lettering can be black on coral tees. It’s a perfect match.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahahaha

    • Alison says...

      What a cool idea Hali!! I would buy one! I love CoJ and I love the comments section <3

    • So true! We need a nickname for our club of COJ followers. A podcast I listen to every day has a thing where all the listeners are called “Littles” (they even have a Facebook group) and there is an inside joke of saying “La Cheeserie!” if you ever encounter one in real life.

      I would totally pass a member of the Cup Chorus or JoKnows or Cuppets or whatever and give them a tiny salmon flip (tip of my invisible hat).

      Following up on the girl who linked to the cute pins above – we could all buy a little pin to show off our membership into this club.

      Ok I’m getting carried away

    • Sasha L says...

      One salmon flip tee in salmon, xs, please!!

    • Noraly says...

      Yes! I want a salmon flip shirt too please. And a cool secret sign to make when you cross someone in the street wearing it .

    • Sara says...

      DO IT FOR LARRY
      Light blue t-shirt, dark blue lettering, little red grocery cart.

      PLEASE!

    • Brooke says...

      Oh my gosh YES!! I would totally buy a salmon flip or do it for Larry shirt! And that is so heartwarming to think we could recognize each other in our cities… We’re all always wanting to meet one another.

    • Laura C. says...

      Don’t forget the mug with “Houseplant” too

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Omg these are so amazing, I’m laugh out loud reading them all!!! I honestly think we should do it.

    • Hali says...

      Can I just say the salmon flip concept is precisely what I had in mind? (Because I always kind of wanted that Clare V. Sardines shirt… though maybe a big fish a bit loud for our secret comment club? Do we care?) This is why we all belong together! The Larry idea is brilliant too. Imagine wearing that WHILE returning a cart. The satisfaction! This is all just so nerdy. I love it so much.

    • Bianca says...

      Yes please! We must have t-shirts. Imagine seeing another person wearing one and thinking instant friend 😀

    • Becky says...

      Do It For Larry shirts would make my 2019!

    • Alex says...

      Do it for Larry is so brilliant. Would definitely buy one.

  69. Sarah says...

    Ok, I’m cracking up over here. Porn for dentists, hahahahaha

  70. Julie E says...

    I just finished writing an outline for a law school final and this was the PERFECT way to reward myself. Now I’m happy again :)

    • Grace says...

      Law school finals are the actual worst. You got this, girl. Just get through it, because being a lawyer is so much more fun. :)

  71. Lindsay says...

    “Porn for dentists.” Great band name.

  72. katie b says...

    Neck ceiling (!!!!!) god damn, kid’s minds are the greatest gift.

  73. Caitlin says...

    I was just trying to read the husband ones to my husband but couldn’t get them out because I was laughing too hard. These are the best!

    • Katherine says...

      I’m in a waiting room with my husband and he’s giving me elbow nudges to stop laughing out loud in public. But we have since both agreed the obituary is everything.

  74. Justine Clark says...

    These are so awesome. I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks Cup of Jo and my fellow readers.

  75. Danielle says...

    I think I’ve read every heavy and thoughtful comment on this week’s posts. This was just what I needed.

  76. Hanna says...

    Existential dread is my hobby, too!

    • Franny Eremin says...

      Hahahaha same, Hanna.

    • Katie says...

      So funny, Karen!

    • Christine Hart says...

      Especially since 2016.

    • Tara says...

      Katie, I’m dying! So funny

    • Em says...

      Hahahah Katie too funny!!

    • Anna says...

      (Katie! Well-done!)

    • jean m goddard says...

      Yep!

  77. Calla says...

    Thanks for featuring my comment! I just read the card greeting again and laughed out loud, I don’t know why it never stops being funny to me. Since posting that my sister actually found the card and bought it for me, it now lives on my fridge door where I can read it every day.

    Also oh my gosh ‘porn for dentists’ so funny, and the fitbit one. Thanks for collecting all these! Just made my Wednesday afternoon a lot more fun!

    • Heather says...

      I’ve bought that dog card, too! (It lives on the wall of my best friend’s office.)

    • Cassie says...

      Where can I find this amazing card??

    • SFord says...

      Best dog card I’ve seen recently is for a dog to give to its owner and reads “Dear Dad, thank you for picking up my poo, Happy Birthday” Of course, I had to get it for the dog to give my husband for his birthday!

  78. L8Blmr says...

    The exercise tweet… Someone must have been in my head! :-)

  79. Robin says...

    Is the ‘salmon flip’ an actual thing? I read that laughing and said, YES, I am vindicated! My partner does that on occasion and it startles me very time!

    • Lizzie says...

      My husband does too, but ever since we got a fancy foam mattress I no longer feel it. AT ALL. Best purchase ever.

  80. Danielle says...

    the soup chewing and salmon flipping-OMH-I have not laughed that hard in a loooooong time! true love at its finest!

  81. Colleen S. says...

    I feel like I am an occasional salmon flipper. It wakes me up when I do it, however.

  82. Amy says...

    That salmon flip gets me every time I read it. Tears.

  83. Brigid says...

    One day I’m going to be featured on a “Funniest Reader Comments” post. First I just need to leave a funny comment. Love these posts!

  84. b says...

    Porn for dentists! I am dying.