One of the best parts of working on Cup of Jo is reading the wonderful and wise comments section. Whether we tackle serious topics like grief and mental illness or lighthearted things like simple pleasures and tongue twisters, Cup of Jo readers always know what to say. Here are 15 hilarious comments from the past year that cracked us up…
“The best greeting card I have ever seen read the following:
‘Loving this concept!’
– God, creating dogs
I think about this and laugh out loud at least once a day.” — Calla
On little dudes:
“Sometimes I tell my three-year-old about all the places he traveled when he was in my tummy. The other day we were talking about something in the past, and he simply asked if he was, ‘in or out.’” — Elizabeth
“Last weekend my boyfriend’s son asked me about my Fitbit, ‘Does it tell you how many days you have left to live?'” — Millie
“Me: Jane, is Gemma’s sister Anna or Hanna?
Jane: I don’t know. Just call her Karen.” — Lousia
“My three-year-old couldn’t remember the word ‘chin’ the other day, so he said, ‘the ceiling of your neck.'” — Jennifer
On making small talk:
“I *HATE* the, ‘Got any plans this evening?’ go-to of checkout persons everywhere. It’s Tuesday night at 7 p.m. and I’m at Whole Foods; I’m not heading to a rager afterwards.” — Meredith
“This is how things go at a restaurant:
Server: Enjoy your entree!
Me: (reflexively) You too!
Guess I’ll go die now…” — Ellie
On romantic encounters:
“I was a late bloomer, and my first boyfriend wanted to make my first kiss memorable. One night, he invited our friends over for a movie night. His family had a small orchard, and as it was getting dark, he said he wanted to show me something. We walked outside, stood in the orchard shivering for a bit, and he snapped his fingers. Suddenly the trees lit up with white fairy lights and I Can Love You Like That by All-4-One started playing. I stared at him wide-eyed as he invited me to slow dance. We awkwardly shuffled around the orchard, and he asked me if I’d go to the homecoming dance with him. I said I’d have to check with my parents! That apparently didn’t kill the mood, though, because he announced that he was going to give me my first kiss. It was a little sloppy, but I thought it was fine – until all our friends emerged from the darkness, applauding! Apparently his finger-snapping had been a cue to them to plug in the lights and turn on the boombox, and instead of skedaddling after, they stuck around and watched our first kiss. Mortifying. But I can’t say he didn’t make it memorable.” — Michaela
On things in your bag:
“On the way home from the hospital with my first baby, I dropped my bag and a tampon rolled out. My husband was like, ‘YOU HAVEN’T CLEANED OUT YOUR BAG IN NINE MONTHS?'” — Gemma
On relationship pet peeves:
“My husband does not clear his throat when he has a frog in it. He carries on talking in this phlegm-y Dalek voice. He screws lids on jars so tight I have a heart attack trying to open them, brought on by physical exertion and RRRAAAGE. Does not chew his food, but he chews soup and I can hear his teeth gnashing the liquid. BUT! He always always leaves the toilet seat down and for that, I forgive him for everything.” — Caucus
“My partner makes little moaning noises when he brushes his teeth. It drives me so bananas I can’t even be in the same room; it’s like listening to porn for dentists.” — Leigh
“My husband does this thing when he sleeps called a ‘salmon flip.’ He’ll be on his side facing one way, and then, while asleep, he will launch into the air, and flip so that he lands facing the other way. The first time this happened, I thought there was an earthquake. It wakes me up every time. But he doesn’t even wake up!” — Jill
“Whenever I run, I’m reminded of this tweet by @rebeccamix:
Me before exercising: I’m going to hate this.
Me, exercising: I hate this I hate this I hate this.
Me after exercising: Athena herself has blessed me. No man can defeat me. Fire runs through my blood and my bones are crafted from steel. Tremble, mortals, for I shall LIVE FOREVER.
I feel that.” — Amanda
On last wishes:
“I read an obituary once that said at the end, ‘In lieu of flowers, please return your shopping carts to the store don’t leave them all over the parking lot. That drove Larry crazy and it was his one wish for humanity.'” — S. Carson
…Plus, so many cute moments!!!
Linsey on Samin Nosrat’s beauty uniform: “*In Chandler Bing voice* Could she BE any more charming??”
Hali on Cup of Jo gift guides: “COJ GGs! IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! *twirls*”
Cherri on what’s your hobby?: “Existential dread.”
Thank you, as always, for reading. xoxo