Motherhood

Toby and Anton in Conversation

Toby and Anton reading

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? Now that Toby is 8 and Anton is 5, they’re getting really curious about the world around them. How does it all work? They’re such sweet ages, where everything feels enticing and magical. Here are a few funny things they’ve busted out with lately…

Toby recently hung a puppy calendar next to his bed. The other day, I glanced over his shoulder, and instead of “the first day of school” or “Thanksgiving,” he was writing down more essential milestones: “When I first heard Kissing Strangers” (March 5th) and “the day I threw up” (April 21st).

Anton loves his toy ukulele. Alex recently asked him if he’d like to take lessons. Anton shook his head: “I don’t want to play real guitar. I want to play pretend guitar.”

On a drizzly afternoon at the park:
Toby: “What a great day to play soccer.”
Anton: “Yeah, this is a great rainy day ’cause it’s not too rainy but it’s also not too not-rainy.”

Anton’s always asking questions about the world around him. (“How long until I’m older than Toby?” “Do you have to pay to get money from the bank?”) They’ve also learned a little about where babies come from, including the very basics of sex, and Anton recently turned to me in the kitchen and asked matter-of-factly, “So, Mommy, do flies do the lie-down-naked thing?” (I mean, DO they?)

Anton: “What’s a revolution?”
Me: “Where did you hear the word?”
Anton: “A Tom Petty song.” (pause) “The song went, ‘Something something something something something revolution something something something something something something something.'”

Anton: “I made three friends at school today.”
Me: “That’s great! What are their names?”
Anton: “I don’t know their names! I can’t know everybody’s name!”

Snorkeling in the bath

Snorkeling in the bath.

note for the tooth fairy

Leaving a chocolate chip and a note for the tooth fairy. Break my heart.

Joanna Goddard and Alex Williams

Watching Alex and me head out to dinner. Their little faces!

Joanna Goddard and Alex Williams

Anton’s hand lol.

pajamas

What have the kids in your life said recently? What makes them laugh? I’d love to hear.

P.S. More conversation posts, and talking to kids about sex, death, race and consent.

  1. Aimee says...

    These are my favorite and always make me smile. Both my heart and my face.

    P. S. Spotted “This Is How We Do It” on Toby’s bedside table. What a wonderful book! We read about Anu and her chapati eeeevery night.

  2. Rebecca says...

    I just stumbled across these from another newer post. I had a rough day, but am now smiling ear to ear. I teach third grade and my favorite part of my job is their little comments all day. Thank you for this beautiful community. I look forward to your posts and the comments daily! :) Sending much love to you.

  3. Such a late comment, but are the boys reading “In the Town All Year Round” in the lead photo? We bought that for our girls years ago, before either of them could read, and to this day they can happily sit and flip through that book, looking for funny new details on each page, for hours on end! Best buy ever!

  4. Colleen says...

    Realizing this is now a late comment, however; there is one from today, that I feel worth sharing…”we have a one story house, I wish we could have a two story house so it could hold more stories”

  5. My three year old: ” ‘Member dat time we were way off in da distance?”

  6. Rebecca Hough says...

    For my than 2.5 year old – currently 4.

    “Mom. You got a new blue nipple container”

    I’m also blessed with baby twin girls so there was a lot of nipple talk. Ha

  7. I know this is already an old post, but I want to comment anyways. I was tucking in my five year old this weekend, and he was asking question after question, until I told him that now it was time to save the rest of his questions for the next day. He then said “Mom, this is my last question. Does a snake have a neck?”. (Do they? I had to Google it…)

  8. Asha says...

    My boys (8 & “almost 5″) are big wildlife fans and we usually watch wild animal/ nature shows for our movie nights. I didn’t realize how much was being absorbed by them. We have always been straightforward about body parts but at age 6 our eldest let our extended family know, at Thanksgiving, how babies were made….Cue our curious looks…”If you put a boy lizard and a girl lizard together, like in a box, you’re gonna get baby lizards so watch out!” The entire table erupted in laughter, which mystified him. “It’s a fact! What’s so funny?!” It’s still one of his favorite holiday stories to tell around the holidays.

  9. Elga says...

    Well I guess, every kind of animal including flies “do it” in different ways. But most of them are already naked. And I think none of them necessarily needs to lie down 🤔 haha Love your kids personalities.

  10. Colleen says...

    These comments (and the children) are all so brilliant, I am enjoying reading them all :)
    My, now 4 year old has begun asking where babies come from, and more importantly – HOW do they get in a Mamas tummy? I just gave him the general ‘when a mum and a dad love each other they can make a baby’ line, thinking he was too young to grasp the reality of it and thinking I need a book to better help me explain this delicate subject that I know he is going to soak up every word of. So then he says to me “so why does the Mum need the Dad to put the baby in there? Does he have to lift it in?” ohhhh son hahahaha some things I’m already discovering I miss dearly, like when he would refer to eyebrows as “eyebrellas” – which makes complete sense, doesn’t it?
    Recently his Dad played some old mickey mouse cartoons for him while I was outside…later on just the two of us are driving and he says “Mum why did Mickey get resurgery (electrocuted)? And why did he get run over by a car? And why did his ear fall off?” Me: Whhhhhy would your father let you watch that!?
    The worst, is when he asks me “is Nana is all done in Heaven now?”
    I wish sweets, I wish.

  11. Heidi says...

    I love how when I suggested to my 3-year old that he could have a “little bit” of a certain treat the other day, his response was “a little bit or a lotta bit?”

  12. My nephew is a year and a bit and when I babysat him last weekend he started calling me Annie (not but name, but somehow even more fun than Auntie) on repeat. It made me SO excited to hear what else he’ll have to say soon! Ugh, kids! The best.

  13. Becca says...

    I love reading these comments. Your boys are so sweet. I also have two boys and the oldest, who is 5, often asks if things are “in this world”. For example: “Mama, are ghosts in this world? ” “After Tai Gung died, was he in this world?” “Are dinosaurs even in this world anymore?” I love how their simple questions can be so profound.

  14. Em says...

    My 2.5 year old son called Batman “matban” the other day, made me laugh.

  15. Marie says...

    I’m always scolding my husband for swearing in front of our kids. He claims they don’t hear. Then, one morning, our youngest woke up ridiculously early, and managed to coax me out of bed to get her breakfast. I was fumbling around in the dark, trying not to wake my husband, when I heard her impatient little voice: “Mommy, come on. Lets go get some f***in Cheerios.”

    • AC says...

      This is so good. Kids swearing appropriately just kills me 😂 Even if i’m embarrassed every time my 3yo lets out a well timed “what the F***”.

  16. Marie says...

    My 6-year old feminist had an interesting take on the prince/princess fairy tale trope: “I hope I never meet a prince. All they want to do is kiss and get married!”

  17. Carlie says...

    My two year old just wants to be tall like the rest of us so he can see whats going on on the counters and stuff. He gets right in front of me with his arms up for me to pick up him and says “be high be high be high” and just repeats that until someone picks him up so he can see what he wants. Probably a bit young for the “just say no to drugs” talk!!!

  18. Teresa says...

    Three-year-old Emmy:
    “Instead of marrying Aladdin, she turned him into a turkey and ate him for her royal dinner.”

    I was both slightly disturbed (man becomes turkey eaten by fiancé sounds like a plot point in The Lobster) and thrilled (even now she gets not every woman needs marriage!).

    I didn’t have long to ponder; she started singing “Try Everything,” turned around, lifted up her dress and said “my butt is singing to you.”

  19. Jennifer says...

    I teach middle school girls and one night when I was chaperoning a dance, I came across two of them sitting off to the side quietly eating pizza. The one girl explained that the boys only wanted to dance with the blond girls, not them, but that it was ok because their pizzas were their dates. The other girl quietly said to herself under her breath, “…I’m on my fourth date”.

    • Jessica says...

      Hahaha bless her!!

  20. Paige says...

    These are always some of my favorite posts! They sound like such sweet boys! Now that our son is a chatty almost 3 year old, we love comparing notes on the funny, creative, profound, or head scratching things he says!

  21. Amy says...

    All these sweet little kid sayings are making me miss having babies…but teenagers can be genuinely, funny too. For example, the following text conversation with my 16-year-old, who was at an ice-cream social for her swim team:

    Her: I’m not great at the whole “social” part
    Me: What about the “ice cream” part?
    Her: That gives me “diarrhea”

    She had some cute sayings when she was little, but she can still make me laugh. :)

  22. Rachel says...

    Some days I am so sad about my 15 month old growing up so quickly, but this post made me excited for fun and magical days ahead <3

  23. Jessica says...

    We just moved from rural New Mexico to Atlanta and my 2.5 year old son was crying about missing his babysitter in New Mexico and life there in general and he paused and said, “But mom, are we still on EARTH?” It was so sweet and so profound at the same time. He’s right, they are different worlds.

  24. Mary says...

    My 2.5 year old to his toy firetruck after it fell from the couch: “Are you okay, firetruck? Are you okay?”

    He would always say “Thank you, Mama” whenever I hand him anything. Melts my heart every time.

  25. Maiz says...

    “…it’s not too rainy but it’s also not too not-rainy.” Is Anton Winnie-the-Pooh?

  26. Lindsey says...

    My parents live 1.5 hours away and we try to time our trips so we leave our house at my kids nap time and they can sleep in the car. During a recent trip:

    Me: bud, I think it would be a good idea for you to close your eyes and take a little nap while we drive to grandma and grandpa’s.

    3.5 yo: I am going to take that idea and put it in the trash. That idea is gone now.

    Shut down! How was I supposed to recover from that?!

    • Fran says...

      OMG, that is hilarious . . . I’m now waiting to use it at just the right time ; )

    • Mrs D says...

      Bahaha! My freshly minted 6yo used refrains JUST like this at the same age and has developed into quite the verbal jockey now… Sometimes I love it, other times NOT. SO. MUCH. Kids!

  27. Loren Latourelle says...

    i was putting my 4 yo daughter down for the night. She was begging me to stay with her, but we had guests over. I told her ‘just think happy thoughts.’ She said, ‘but, Mama, you are my happy thought.’ Be still my heart! She also calls her forehead her head-fore.

  28. Ceridwen says...

    My husband is a full time stay at home parent and I work full time. My eldest daughter, who is 9, was watching a cooking show and she said, “This show is so weird! The mum knows how to cook and the dad doesn’t! She actually has to explain to him how to cook! So. Weird.” Ha! Made me think about the gender perspectives they’ve grown up with and also, how if it seems so wild a mum is the one who cooks and can cook, maybe I need to improve my kitchen skills! Haha!

    • Trish says...

      My friend’s son , after living in 3 countries where his GP/paediatrician was a female , asked “mom , are boys allowed be doctors too or is that just for girls ?” 😍

  29. Lindsay says...

    My daughter like to “put in her contacts” after I do. I put mine in then she dips her fingers into the case gets some solution on her fingers and imitates putting it in her eye. Today she said “ahhh I can see!” I have never said this, so I’m not sure where it came from, but it cracked me up.

  30. Jenny says...

    We love that wimmelbook!

  31. Liz says...

    Henry, age 6: Why is Han Solo your favorite? Is it because you think he’s dreamy?
    Me: No, it’s because he’s always doing whatever he wants, and running off to have adventures, and he just doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
    Henry: That’s selfish.

    Bam, right to the gut.

  32. Kelly says...

    On our way to church for my husband’s godson’s intimate family christening, I was telling my 3 year old that we would have to be well behaved in church, then we would go to a party and she could have a ‘special drink’ (what we call pop).

    Flash forward to standing on the altar at church during the ceremony, when she stage whispered to me: “Mama, when is this gonna be over so we can go DRINK?”

    • Anna says...

      This had me in tears – so funny!

  33. Emily says...

    Joanna! Will you please tell us about the shoes in your date night outfit?
    Also, the boys are adorable!

  34. Mariana says...

    Your kids are the cutest! My 4 year old is also hillarious, can’t wait for my 1 year old to start talking too :)

  35. Adriane says...

    Broke my heart a little when my 4 year old nephew asked his dad, ‘so Papa, when do I get to learn how to fly?’ I mean, we learn so many other things that seem impossible as children, why not flying?

  36. Jenna says...

    My youngest, at not quite 4, is a bit of a trash talker even though we’ve been careful about our language – he doesn’t swear, but when he got upset at his big brother he said “You don’t say another word to me, or I will put you in the TRASH. With the banana peels and the dirty, dirty diapers.” I told him it wasn’t ok to say that, and then reminded him that there are no dirty diapers in our trash since everyone uses the toilet. “I’ll find some,” he said darkly.

    It’s a very effective insult.

    • emily says...

      Ice cold. I love it.

    • Becky says...

      oohhh this gave me a goof chuckle.

    • Amelia Greenberg says...

      It’s three days later and I am still laughing about, “I’ll find some.”

    • Mrs D says...

      Oh my Lord, laugh out loud! Love it!

  37. Britta says...

    I’m about to have my 2nd boy in a few short weeks and I’ve been so teary eyed about the thought of letting go of our little family of 3. Seeing these two boys together, who are the same age gap mine will be, has made me smile! It’s exciting to think about them being buddies down the road. I’m sooo encouraged by how much they love each other, and also how different they are. Thanks for sharing :)

    • Robin says...

      My oldest is almost exactly Anton’s age, but looks a lot like Toby. My youngest is the blonde, with a rounder face. Every time I see these posts I imagine my sons a little older. So very very sweet. I miss the days of being three sometimes – the hardest thing about having two is how divided your attention is. But now (at 5 and almost 2) they are getting closer to being really able to play together and it is the sweetest. I’ve promised my oldest they will share a room next year and he can’t wait (even though that will mean his brother will move into his room). I can’t help hoping they’ll cuddle up together like Toby and Anton. Be still my heart.

  38. VK says...

    My daughter was picking her clothes for school last night.

    Me : A sparkly shirt and a sequin skirt might be a bit too much. how about a plain shirt instead
    Her : In a very solemn voice ” You can never have too much sparkle ”

    I let her wear her “sparkly” outfit this morning!

  39. Cait says...

    I love that Toby is using the calendar that way! If he keeps that habit up, he’ll have some very special keepsakes throughout his life.
    Also, we love the In the Town All Year Round book!

  40. Kelsey says...

    When my son was 4, he was my little shadow. So when I had my daughter, and started breastfeeding her, he was always there. One day he grabbed one of his stuffed animals, sat down next to me, and casually stuffed it under his shirt and told me “I have to feed my baby too!”

  41. Amelia says...

    My 2 year old: What’s in your bag, Mommy?
    Me: Eggs. Daddy said to buy eggs.
    My 2 year old: Daddy? I know him.

    My 7 year old (as we arrived at the pool for his swim lesson): Mommy, are we late?
    Me: No. Why?
    My 7 year old: Because when Daddy takes me to swim lessons, we are always late.

  42. Kate says...

    I’ve been reading It’s So Amazing (the illustrated children’s book about bodies/ sex/ reproduction) with my 8-year-old. We were chatting about it in the car the other day, and I mentioned how women can decide whether and when they would like to become pregnant. She looked totally incredulous, replying, “No…you can’t decide exactly when to get pregnant.” When I explained that there are various ways that allow women to do exactly that, she looked out the window for a few seconds before turning back suddenly. “Wait!” she exclaimed, “Have you been reading ahead?”

    Basically, yes. Getting older is just reading ahead.

    • Paula says...

      hahaha what a sweetheart!

  43. janine says...

    The other day, my 7 y.o.’s soccer coach asked the kids on the soccer team what they should name the team, and my son suggested “the exploding penises”. Needless to say, they did NOT choose that as the team name.

    • Dorothy DeMaria says...

      Thank him for the laugh I think they should has picked it

  44. Silvina says...

    ‘Something something something something something revolution something something something something something something something.’

    LOL! He’s the best!

    • Tiffany says...

      This was my favorite too!

  45. On a recent vacation to Portugal-it looked like we had the five littles in our group in snow suits on the beach with our life jackets for the toddlers and sun gear for everyone. Most of the European kiddos were nude. My seven year old befriended a little local girl on a remote beach and they played for hours. Afterwards, she ran over and said matter of factly: “Wow. That was cool. My first time making friends with a naked person.”

    • Oh – this made me laugh out loud!

  46. My nephew is eighteen months old and talking up a storm. He’s also a typical toddler, and one day was being too rough with my sister’s brainless-but-lovable dachshund mix. “You have to be gentle with him,” I said, patting the dog gently to show him how. “He’s delicate.” My nephew knitted his eyebrows and said, “Dumb cat?” Yes. Yes. Exactly. That dog is a dumb cat.

    • Allison Cloyd says...

      PERFECT.