Relationships

What Drives You Crazy About Your Partner?

When Harry Met Sally

Now that Alex and I have been together for almost ten years, I’ve realized…

…that as much as we love each other, little things also drive us bats.

For example, when we’re watching TV, Alex will absentmindedly rub his toes together in a way that makes noise. I used to ask, “Can you please stop moving your toes?” but now I’ve shortened it to just “Toes!” Even when we go to bed at night, we’ll cuddle up and chat about the boys and it’s all dark and cozy and then I’ll hear…. THE TOES.

When I asked him what makes him crazy about me, he said: “After making dinner, I always want to present this amazing dish, even if it’s just a quick pasta, and dive right in. But you’re always finishing one last task (usually 11 tasks), which means that ever since I’ve been cooking dinner for us, going back to 2008, pretty much every time I sit down to dinner, it’s cold.”

Oops.

Of course, it would be impossible to live with anyone — your mom? your BFF? Thomas Shelby?! — without pushing their buttons. As psychologist Dan Wile said: “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.”

And at the end of the day, these little things really don’t matter at all. They’re like the texture of your relationship, and remind me of movies where the older couple bickers in an adorable way. If Alex ever quit the habit of moving his toes while watching TV, I have to admit, in a strange way, I might actually miss it.

What small things drive you nuts about your partner? Be honest!

P.S. Back when we were dating, and would you date older?

  1. Elizabeth says...

    My husband and now my kids do the toes. He calls it festering and I’ve decided it’s a cute relaxation thing they do to get snuggly

  2. Anne says...

    It feels annoying to have your mother call you so frequently. But embrace her calls now. My mother passed away two years ago, and I cannot express how much I miss her voice, and her funny observations over the phone.

    • Nadia says...

      Me too :( I feel so guilty. It hurts knowing that I’ll never see her name blinking on my phone again.

  3. Jolanda says...

    My husband it notoriously bad at cleaning up behind himself (and lets be fair, a home that is not clean is my pet peeve). So I am the wife that absintmindely cleans things up behind him (like the glass he just put on the counter because he wants juice. He turn around with the juice, glass gone…).

    My biggest pet pevee is actually with my mother. She calls me regularly and it is always the same. I pick up the phone and she is a) speaking to someone else on the background (why would you call someone if you are still in a conversation with someone else) b) she does not hear me right away so our conversation starts like this ‘hello, are you there?’ ‘hellooooo?’ ‘CAN YOU HEAR ME’ (like she has never used a phone before in her life). Sometimes it is a combines of a and b which drives me crazy.

    I also really dislike if she calls me 16 consecutive times, so I run to call her back from a meeting or while juggling a screaming baby in a dirty diaper and the thing that is so important is her dog that did something funny. Or a pressing question that she needs to ask me (that really could have waited or simple been asked via whats app…). Hate it!

  4. Franny says...

    I rub my toes/feet together before bed, too!! It drives my husband nuts. I’m not sure why I do it – it’s just a comfort thing, I think. I also put my cold feet on him at night which makes him yelp. He drives me crazy when we are trying to get out the door and he always has to go for an extra pee, even if he has gone recently or we if we will only be out for a short walk. He also makes a weird popping sound when he’s sleeping.. so annoying haha! Love him.

  5. Phedra Hackett says...

    The thing that drives me crazy about my husband is when he eats nuts he shakes them in his hand first.

    • Jessie says...

      My dad does this and I’ve never understood it!

  6. Truan Terrance says...

    Apparently my husband is hilariously frustrated by the “slack jawed noise” my throat makes when I’m falling asleep (cross between a snort and a loud breathy noise). Sometimes he’ll even go and sleep in the other room because once he hears it, it’s all he can focus on!

  7. Alyssa says...

    OMG. Maybe I’ve already commented on this, but with almost 1k comments, I can’t be certain. My husband rubs his toes together too! He always does it when he’s reading or playing on his phone in bed. Drives me bananas. Why do they do it??

    • Sunaina says...

      Ditto with my husband. But I’m kinda relieved (and surprised) that there are plenty out there who do it!

  8. Tina says...

    My boyfriend thinks it is quite ok to pick or floss his teeth while watching tv with me. I thi nk it is disgusting to do it in front of me, and he should go into the bathroom to do it. He says it is his home and he should be able to do whatever he wants wherever. He leaves floss picks all over the house

    • Sadie says...

      eww. tell him doing gross stuff wherever you want is what living alone is for! some annoyances are just annoying, but this one involves food particles scraped out of the crevices of his mouth. he could at least make the effort to throw his picks in the trash!

    • Erica says...

      Omg this is my father to a T.