Relationships

A Funny Thing About Relationships

When Harry Met Sally

Now that Alex and I have been together for almost ten years, I’ve realized…

…that as much as we love each other, little things also drive us bats.

For example, when we’re watching TV, Alex will absentmindedly rub his toes together in a way that makes noise. I used to ask, “Can you please stop moving your toes?” but now I’ve shortened it to just “Toes!” Even when we go to bed at night, we’ll cuddle up and chat about the boys and it’s all dark and cozy and then I’ll hear…. THE TOES.

When I asked him what makes him crazy about me, he said: “After making dinner, I always want to present this amazing dish, even if it’s just a quick pasta, and dive right in. But you’re always finishing one last task (usually 11 tasks), which means that ever since I’ve been cooking dinner for us, going back to 2008, pretty much every time I sit down to dinner, it’s cold.”

Oops.

Of course, it would be impossible to live with anyone — your mom? your BFF? Thomas Shelby?! — without pushing their buttons. As psychologist Dan Wile said: “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.”

And at the end of the day, these little things really don’t matter at all. They’re like the texture of your relationship, and remind me of movies where the older couple bickers in an adorable way. If Alex ever quit the habit of moving his toes while watching TV, I have to admit, in a strange way, I might actually miss it.

What small things drive you nuts about your partner? Be honest!

P.S. Back when we were dating, and would you date older?

  1. This is hilarious!

    My boyfriend never has “time” to take out the trash…unless I harass him about it for DAYS. He also takes the dish towels that we have hanging from the oven handle and just leaves them out on the counter. EVERY SINGLE TIME. AND he has a tendency to leave empty toilet paper rolls sitting on our windowsill in our bathroom vs. throwing them in the trash like a normal person.

    Thank god I love him to death.

  2. Sometimes it’s something pretty trivial, sometimes it’s super serious. My wife cannot stand my snoring. There have been times I have had to snore alone in a different room.

    I love to bake. My trivial complaint? I leave my hot pads out on the kitchen counter so I am ready to take things out of the oven. When it’s time to take things out of the oven, where are the hot pads? Already put back in the cupboard. So annoying! So, she keeps things too clean and complains about my snoring problem. Other than that, we’re good.

  3. EMH says...

    These are all absolutely hilarious. One thing that comes to mind that my boyfriend of 5-years will do that drives me mad is bring me an item if I request it (say a glass of water, my purse, Tylenol, anything!) and just like a dog with a ball in his mouth waiting for you to take it and throw it.. he just stands in front of me holding out the item, staring at me.. waiting for me to take it. Like, why not just set it on the table near me? Why not bring it close by and put it in my lap, next to me, etc. Sometimes I purposely ignore him and continue to watch TV or be on my phone just to see how long he will STAND. THERE. WAITING. STARING.

  4. Lisa says...

    My husband will start to tell me something, like “whoa, that’s so crazy…” and then he’ll just trail off. Then I have to ask “what’s crazy?” and then he’ll tell me. It drives me bonkers! Sometimes I refuse to ask him to continue with his story but then he just won’t finish his story and my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask! UGH!

    He also lags right as I’m getting food on the table. I give him a 5 minute warning and then a 2 minute warning that dinner is almost ready, yet he still waits til the very last minute to stop working, then go to the bathroom, then wash his hands, then change up his beverage choice, then play a funny game with our boys (cute, but like, not now!). I just put the food out and start eating.

    I’m a cabinet-opener-and-leaver. I also have a habit of letting my towel try across our laundry basket. Our bathroom has poor ventilation so it’s the best spot for it to dry!

    • Ada says...

      My Husband is the worst Storyteller. We will be watching a Movie at home, I will say something about the main character and he will relate that to someone in real life, without telling me it’s a REAL person.

      So I will be completely lost thinking what the ?!

      I will then ask him to repeat it specifying details. Grrr

  5. Sarah says...

    Leaving cabinet doors open in the kitchen! It always looks like we’ve been ransacked by a robber looking for homegoods and silverware.

  6. kirsty says...

    I could write a long long list but I’ll just go with the worst offence. My husband leaves the cardboard from finished toilet paper rolls sitting around the bathroom instead of putting them in the bin WHICH IS DIRECTLY NEXT TO THE TOILET. This bends my brain.

    Meanwhile I’m a light leaver onerer. He said to me a few months ago you always leave the lights on. I said no I don’t i never walk into a room where the light is on. Turns out he’d been following me around switching them off behind me!

  7. Bippy says...

    Late to the game here but so many of these my husband does too and after 10 years married I’ve adjusted to most. The most annoying are that he sucks his teeth like an old man with dentures – makes me nuts. He also does not wash pots/pans. . I got rid of some that could not go in the dishwasher but there are a few left that he always uses. He is a spender not a saver. And he starts home DIY projects and never finishes. I was so sick of living that way that I finagled selling our last house and moving. In spite of these things, the good things about him outweigh the bad by a large margin. He is a keeper.
    I of course am not perfect. Things I know bug him are that I leave the vacuum out, leave clean laundry on the couch for days, have “rules” about which towels and napkins are saved for guests, and am a packrat. I put off paying the bills and I snore. I’m sure there is more. There always is!

  8. Marie says...

    This post is the most relatable and cathartic one yet, Jo! My husband does the toes thing as well, re-loads the dishwasher each night after I have already loaded it (It’s not like I stacked things unreasonably!), and will leave his clothes on every piece of furniture in the house. On my end, I will usually read him the wittiest, most hilarious comments that made me laugh from Cup of Jo at the end of each day and he loves it but I bring it up as “pillow talk” right as we are going to sleep which drives him bonkers. You can imagine his luck when I read him all 928 comments of this post this weekend!

  9. Kate says...

    My partner nibbles away at his fingernails all day long. This wouldn’t bother me so much if he just bit the nail and spit it out, but instead I hear him chomping on the little piece of fingernail until I tell him to spit it out, like he’s a baby.

    When there’s a commercial break, when we’re at a stoplight, when we’re waiting for a flight…he’ll lift his hand and start examining his nails to see which one needs to be nibbled on for the 50th time that day. I literally reach over and take his hand away from his face, then he absentmindedly does it again less than a minute later. The chomping!! This is my life now. It will never end.

    I do way worse, more life-complicating things to him though. The other day I made him stop for vanilla extract on his way home from a sweaty workout. He called me from inside the store to ask which size bottle I wanted and while we were on the phone..I found a bottle of vanilla extract in the fridge. He was a good sport about it, “Okay, do we need anything else while I’m here then?” to which I replied, “Mmm.. nope. Thanks, though!” I later told him he was allowed to kill me for that, but only once.

  10. Alex says...

    I’m a little late to the game on this one, but the thing that drives me the most crazy is that when my husband clears the table after a meal, he will literally carry one thing at a time over to the sink/dishwasher. Like… A SINGLE FORK. Yes, our sink is approximately 5 feet away from our kitchen table, but I will stack up all the plates I can carry with the utensils on top and try to do as few trips as possible…. he will take 18 trips to clear each thing individually and it drives me MAD! It’s like he’s trying to manipulate me to step in and just do it all myself.

    I know the thing I do that makes him most crazy is leaving my keys in the front door to our apartment. I do it far too often, but when you’re coming home with a toddler and groceries and trying to pick up the mail… sometimes the keys get left behind. We live in a safe building… so far!

  11. Shelby says...

    These have me absolutely cracking up. One person mentioned their partner taking their work clothes off and hanging them around furniture in their bedroom – my husband does the same thing but all over our apartment. I will come home to his PANTS and shirt hung over the banister of our stairs and him just sitting in his boxers on the couch. I always ask “what would you do if someone came to the door that was not me?!” it truly amazes me every time.

    • Kim says...

      My husband too! There are socks and shirts and pants EVERYWHERE! I’ve asked him why he does this and his response is that after a long day of work it just feels so freeing to come home and literally shed his workday persona. So funny!

  12. Luna says...

    When I pass something to my Husband, his hand is there to receive, but just before the object touches his skin, he moves it away, and the object falls to the floor.

    He does the opposite to me.

    When he passes me an object, I go to grip it, but he has already let go and it falls through my fingers/palm.

    You will hear me yell….. GRIP!!!

    • carda carqueja says...

      That’s so weird, I do that too! My partner and I have a serious, ongoing problem exchanging objects from one hand to another. !!! Thanks for sharing :)

  13. Kimmy says...

    Most of my annoyances usually stem from my being more eco-conscious than my man is. He doesn’t think as much as I do about things like recycling or reusing things or how changing small habits can make an environmental impact.

    He also has a habit of switching from heat to air conditioning if the house gets too hot – in the winter! Drives me nuts. Turn down the heat and open a window if you’re too warm! Take off a layer!

    He also cracks every part of body. I can mostly handle that, but the fingers make me cringe.

    I sure do love him though. His good parts greatly outweigh the annoying ones. <3

  14. KatieSue says...

    I asked a boyfriend once if there was anything I do that annoys him. He said no, nothing you’re wonderful. I kept asking until finally he said in one long loud rushed exasperated breath, “OK! YES! You take half the food! You make these amazing meals and then divide it up on two plates evenly. I’m so much bigger than you, I want more and I want seconds but you take it all and THEN you EAT IT ALL!!!” I just stared at him and then I couldn’t stop laughing! I said jokingly it was a feminist thing and we get the same as men, but then started making 50% more food so we both got equal portions and then he got a second one.

    • Neena says...

      YOU EAT IT ALL!

      Thanks for the laugh :-)

  15. Sarah Jane says...

    My wife splashes water *everywhere*. I don’t understand how the kitchen counter/ kitchen floor/ bathroom can possibly get so wet, and how she doesn’t see it to wipe it up. After she showered yesterday, the floor was a giant puddle and I slid across it cartoon-style.
    That said, I brush my teeth for an annoyingly long time at night, and am easily frustrated by technology. I might even yell at a screen from time to time. She is far more patient with such things, and with me.

    • Lindsey says...

      Oh my gosh, I have the same pet peeve with my husband! Some days he remembers to wipe down the sink when he’s done but those are few and far between. When I first started dating him 10 years ago, my aunt asked me what annoyed me about him. That was my answer then, and it’s still my answer now! :)

    • Luna says...

      Me too! This is one of my Husband’s annoying habits & I am water conscience because I came from a Country with water shortages & clean water issues. It kills me to add up all those wasted litres of water :(

  16. Tory says...

    I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and the one thing that I’ll miss so much if something ever happens to him is how he’ll be falling asleep and slightly twitch all over. It’s how I know he’s really falling asleep (a hard task for him) and it’s strangely annoying and comforting at the same time.

    • My husband (10 more days we’ll be 6-months married) does the same thing! And I feel the same way about it. :)

  17. Lauren E. says...

    I’m late to the party but these comments have me cracking up.

    I’ll start by saying I am the queen of leaving my shoes around the apartment. At one point last week my husband told me I had five pairs of shoes out, and was I planning on wearing ALL of them soon?

    He’s the cleanest man alive but his sleep habits are absurd. He ALSO does that weird toe tubbing thing with his gross scaly feet, he talks in his sleep, flops around like a fish, yanks the covers away. But I think now I’m used to it because when he’s traveling for work I can’t sleep at all…

    • Luna says...

      How weird that we start sleeping in the same bed & find faults in each other’s sleeping habits.

      Then, when we’re not sleeping together, one or both can’t sleep well. Oh love.

  18. My boyfriend does this deer in headlight thing when he messes something up. He hung a poster wrong in his apartment when he first moved in and it came crashing down, he had no idea what to do and just stood there so I sent him away while I cleaned it up. Also he has spilled both wine and beer in my bed (we like to drink in bed) and both times he just freezes and stares at me and I’m like uhhh, you should probably sop that up. Or most recently, we were cooking with my cast iron pan and I asked him to pour some oil in it, he poured vinegar which makes a real foul smoke that we were coughing on and he just froze, stared at me wide-eyed and I was uh let’s take that off the burner so it stops smoking. But it drives me nuts because it makes me feel bad like hey, I’m not going to yell at you for something silly. Although I don’t think he’s worried I’m going to yell at him, I think that guilt is self-derived, but I do think he’s just overthinking in his head how to handle the situation. But it makes me worried how he does stuff on his own.

  19. Occasionally in the middle of the night, my husband will casually roll over in bed, take hold of the pillow I’m sleeping on, and yank it out from under me — all while still fully asleep. This jolts me awake and I (ever so calmly and lovingly) respond by yelling, “HEY!” My husband will respond, “WHAT?!”, as though I am interrupting him in the midst of performing life-saving surgery. I tell him he stole my pillow, he will gruffly return it, then turn over and go back to sleep. And in the morning he won’t remember a single thing about this interaction.

    A few years into our relationship I recounted this story to his mother because I found it so bizarre, and I found out that his father does the exact same thing to her about twice a year. BANANAS.

    • Lauren E. says...

      I am laughing out loud at this. There could be an entire article about things our spouses do that their parents do, too. My husband told me after I’ve been drinking I make this “puh… puh…” sound in my sleep. Turns out, my dad does it AND his mother did it, too!

      Also my husband will roll over while clutching the sheets in bed and it sometimes chokes me if I’m holding them under my chin. I’ve also done the “HEY!” even though he has no recollection in the morning.

    • Kate says...

      My partner sleeps with his hands clasped across his chest (kinda like a corpse). That’s how I know he’s fallen asleep. Turns out, his mother and sister sleep the same way. How is that genetic??

    • Angela says...

      Hahaha- My husband does this weird thing where he lifts his arms up and slowly scratches one arm then the other all while totally asleep- the other day I saw our two year old do it too- so I guess it’s genetic?????? more cute than annoying though

  20. I just had a fight with my husband last night over some of of our annoyances with each other!! So this post and all the comments are so therapeutic and reassuring!

    When we’re just about ready to go somewhere (and I have gotten the three kids and myself ready and he’s barely managed to get himself together), he will suddenly urgently need to do a random task like change a lightbulb or take out the trash while we are standing at the door in our coats, fer cryin’ out loud.
    He turns on the lights in every room that he walks through – not doing anything in the room, just WALKING THROUGH. And doesn’t turn them off, natch.
    He will start washing the dishes and suddenly leave them – the dish drainer is not full, there are still dirty dishes in the sink, but he will just walk away. What switch has tripped that makes him suddenly bolt from the task?? It is a mystery.

    I leave cupboard doors open in the kitchen when I’m actively cooking and working, which drives him nuts. I also don’t mind crooked pictures on the wall, which makes him insane. He would say I keep the heat too low and the kitchen odd-utensil drawer too full so that he can’t open it and jerks really hard, breaking a utensil that was stuck (I think I’m the only one who knows the mystery of how to get them to fit).

    • caitlin says...

      this totally cracked me up–my husband is the same with the lights in our house…i will come home and every single one will be on, even tho he’s squirreled away in his studio.

    • Johanna says...

      Oh dear lord, the last minute task thing is so my husband! We nearly missed a flight once because he decided at the last minute to repot some plants.

  21. In the middle of the night when he cracks his knuckles loudly while STILL ASLEEP. One by one, so casually. Like, what? How does this even happen? It would be an impressive sleep talent if it didn’t make me wince. I do love him dearly haha.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, hahahaha. dying right now, that is so hilarious/maddening.

    • KatieK says...

      My husband does the same. Wakes me out of a dead sleep!

  22. jen says...

    Seriously? After 25 years, some happy, some not, I have the ability to ignore small things that used to annoy me. Just tune ’em out. My sister inlaw just told me it makes her crazy when my brother puts the rubber band around the newspaper on a doorknob. Jeeze. Get over it.

  23. Rose says...

    This thread is LIFE. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, together for 9. My biggest pet peeve is that he opens all the bills/mail while sitting on the toilet doing a #2, then LEAVES ALL THE EMPTY ENVELOPES IN FRONT OF SAID TOILET. I’ll come into the bathroom and find a mess of scraps of paper, important bills, junk mail, and empty envelopes. WHY!!?? I bring it up every few months and it never ever stops! He also has extreme difficulty finding things if he has to look for more than 0.2 seconds. I’ve discovered that if I just pretend I don’t hear the “honey, have you seen ___?” for a minute; approximately 50% of the time he will look again and find the things. Some things I do that drive him nuts: I’m often absent-minded and don’t notice little dings to the car, and drop/damage electronics regularly. It’s also impossible for me to remember passwords or how to change the input on the TV. I like to talk about feelings A LOT (what can I say, I’m a counselor!) and he sometimes just wants me to help find a solution. Anyway, I so enjoyed reading through these!

    • Jackie says...

      Omg Rose, my husband is the same about asking where something is even though most of the time it’s RIGHT in front of him if he actually looked or move things around?! In our 5 years of marriage I’ve now figured out to not answer/ignore him and he usually finds it without me. I constantly nag him to put things away in the same spots around the house like keys so it’s easier to locate!

      His: he says he’ll do something like empty or load the dishwasher but never does it immediately when I ask so I end up doing it which drives him crazy! Ha He also likes to hang his work clothes around furniture in our bedroom but never in the closet so I’m constantly doing it for him! Also dirties should go in laundry bin to be washed not laying in piles around bedroom so I don’t know which ones I should wash.

      Mine: I’m a squeeze from the middle of toothpaste not roll up the end to maximize toothpaste kind of person – I swear I don’t notice! :) I also never fully finish anything like my coffee or drink- I don’t know why but usually there’s like one sip left and he always asks if I’m going to finish that?

      But oh man do we love each other and wouldn’t know what to do without (regardless of said pet peeves above) he’s my person and I’m his. Xo

    • Lauren E. says...

      Finding things!!! My husband does this, too. And I’ve taken to saying, “If I get up and find that deli turkey/hot sauce/letter opener/floss within five seconds of looking, you owe me $10.”

    • Luna says...

      Ditto for my Husband. He walks in dumps keys, wallet & phone THEN another hour or so, Where’s my keys? Seen my wallet? Can’t find my phone! Then he starts tossing cushions, coats, bags etc around the house on a war path.

      No matter how I organise the tiny entryway to hold these things, he rarely uses them.

  24. Karin Twist says...

    This post <3 Gives me so much joy and entertainment!

    My husband is such a sweet, funny man, but BOY is he irritating. He leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor (that has underfloor heating so if it's stinky, the whole room is stinky), and NEVER picks them up. He does a lot of the classics like leave cabinet doors open (luckily our new kitchen only has a few doors and mostly big drawers which he somehow can close), a new class/cup for EVERYTHING, being finicky about wine glasses in the dishwasher (he waits until he's hoarded enough glasses to fill the dishwasher, because "other stuff will get them dirty" – IN THE DISHWASHER?!), and he's got one of those not-dirty-but-not-clean-clothes chair that he just piles on until it topples over.

    His for me would probably be that I'm a neat freak and clean "away" his stuff (I'm his go to excuse if he can't fint something), and i nag about the above mentioned things. I'm also super sensitive to high pitched noises, so when our neighbour (terrace house) doesn't turn off his very irritating alarm clock i go insane and wake him up (neighbour has alarm on for 5.30). I also WILL clean the wine glasses with "other stuff" and he freaks out.

    • Luna says...

      The wine glasses! Lol

  25. allison says...

    I love this! Whenever one of us does something annoying, my husband and I have a little phrase. “You’re drivin’ me nuts!” It’s become so commonplace that it now serves to immediately diffuse the situation, and we just end up laughing. I love him, he drives me nuts, but I love him. :)

  26. Julia says...

    I’m convinced that I’m not the only one trying out this toes rubbing while reading these posts, only to feel what sensation I might have missed…

    • Julie says...

      Dying! Love this

    • Genevieve says...

      YES!!! Doing this right now while nursing my baby to sleep!

  27. Denise says...

    800+ comments. Joanna, you are truly the master of creating a community. I’m so inspired by your constant willingness to openly share your life and, in so doing, create a space for others to do the same. I love Cup of Jo and its readers.

  28. Leah says...

    My husband was raised with much better manners than we were. He knows where all the forks and spoons and knives go and eats with his hand in his lap, etc. But still…the guy slurps soup and coffee and it drives me BANANAS. And you don’t even want to see him eat fried chicken.

    • Luna says...

      My Husband hates when I slurp liquids or chew or crunch foods. I have become mindful of this because I see him wince and I see a hurt little boy :(

      Recently, I am feeling grossed out when I hear other people slurp & chew & crunch loudly, lol.

      However, when he eats he will stuff a handful of food into his mouth!! what the hell?

  29. My husband does this thing where when he’s comfortable and we’re deep in conversation he starts pulling his face out, like stretching it far! He makes it look like a mask and he really doesn’t realise he’s doing it! Sometimes I watch him, fascinated. Mostly, though, I slap his hand away. Lovingly.

    • Erin says...

      This actually made me laugh out loud :)

  30. Hilary says...

    Thank you for this post, how comforting to know we all have our gripes!

    My husband has always chewed nicotine gum, and I supposed always will. I find those little plastic wrappers EVERYWHERE. In the laundry, on tables and counters. I even found them, like 5 of them, in our driveway when I was snowblowing last week (ps, snowblowing is really fun!). The chewed gum finds its way onto the top of things as well. I asked him if he is saving it for later, and he’s responded, “Not really, I guess I just take it out when I’m tired of it.” ….? He never puts empty seltzer cans in the recycling, I feel like the counter-to-recycling fairy. If he does laundry and my clothes get in with his, he’ll fold everything but my stuff. Hardly ever does dishes but thinks of himself as the one who cleans everything. OMG will occasionally put a wet towel on MY side of the bed, never his… What else? Chews with his mouth open at an alarming rate of speed. Sometimes I want him to eat in front of a mirror so he can see for himself. It’s shocking. And lastly, OMG when he spits out his toothpaste, he does it from full 6’3 height. and makes a sound like someone is gagging him. It’s very dramatic and our sink and mirror end up a wreck!!!!

    Wow, I’m really venting!!!!

    He would complain that I am oddly comfortable driving with my gas tank on empty. I don’t finish room painting projects 100%. Or even 10% (our bathroom has been 10% repainted for about 4 months). I use all three blankets on our couch so he has to ask to use one one them. LOL

    • Luna says...

      I read you loud and clear! Lol

      My Husband will do all his morning bathroom routine, which yes, grosses me out. I just ask him to close the door.

      But when I go do my morning bathroom routine with door closed, he loudly tells me he’s grossed out. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth because that’s the one that sets him off. So upon leaving the house I have to run and brush my teeth.

  31. Jennifer says...

    I love that this post received the highest number of comments I’ve ever seen on your blog. Guess we’re all in together:-) I like it.

  32. I laughed out loud reading this because I have the same pet peeve with toes, drives me crazy! Glad to hear I’m not the only one!

  33. GFY says...

    This just underscores what I learned by reading NYT’s articles on advice from couples who’ve been together the longest, like 50 + years, which is: the practice as a religion of Kindness with each other. It makes perfect sense. The default must be a married version of mutual formal politeness the longer you are together. That is what allows love and respect for each other to grow in unison. I LOVED learning that. But the trick is having a partner who is AS willing to play this way as you are.

    • robin says...

      can you share the link for this article? is there a specific one? i would love to read it.

  34. aga says...

    I’m guilty of a variation of the toes: i have long toes and enjoy curling them and scratching them on something (like a friggin cat), on bed sheets or, worse, on my partner’s leg! He REALLY loves that! Ha!

  35. aga says...

    Oh, mine doesn’t “brag” or mention his task completed. He keeps onto his accomplishment and then whips out “You didn’t notice that I [insert task]” at an opportune moment. Sigh. It’s kind of cute.

  36. To add to that, don’t you think that if this had happened on the first dates, you would probably have found it cute?
    This post reminded me of a “black mirror” episode from the last season, where someone’s boyfriend exhales loudly in pleasure every time he drinks something (even after going down on her!), and she is sooooooo annoyed!
    Thanks for keeping it real- once again!

  37. Nicole says...

    He has a way of stuffing things into the weirdest spots and crevices- under the bed, under the couch, behind a bookshelf. He is a slight pack rat and it drives me nuts when he tries to stuff things he should be getting rid of into some weird place that he thinks I won’t notice! He has half the linen closet stuffed to the brim, but of course if you ask him its perfectly organized and all very necessary to keep in the apartment.

    I bite my nails and he hates it.

  38. Emily says...

    These comments are so endearing and moving! Way to pull the tide in Joanna!

    Us: He leaves used floss dangling on the toilet seat, almost in the toilet – but not. I can’t wash my face or brush my teeth without leaving a puddle behind, and I am now Princess of puddles. Can’t help it, you know? It evaporates?

    xx

  39. Abigail Bates says...

    Haha these are so endearing and relatable. I’m not married but my long-term boyfriend and I already have this ritual. He eats a lot and eats everything super fast and slurps every bite of his soup. Then when I’m still eating he starts picking at MY food. It drives me nuts! And he’ll pick at his teeth after meals in public. But in fairness, chewing noises bother me no matter who it is, not just him. He also makes a big fuss anytime I ask him for a photo, but I think that’s guys in general. Maybe not?

    I know my habitual lateness drives him mad. I try to work on it but I’m always like 5 -10 minutes behind!!

  40. Leticia Centeno says...

    This post and it’s comments is everything! It made my day a whole lot better and funnier! My husband is the most gentle kind man in the world and I love him deeply but there a few things he does that drives me completely nuts. #1: He has no idea what doing anything quickly is. He takes his time to do everything and even when he tries to rush that is not even close to doing anything quickly. It drives me insane! #2: Every single night he washes and dries the dishes but he never ever puts the dishes away. I get home to a kitchen where there’s pans and pots and cups everywhere! #3: Even if it is to go to the next door bakery to buy a loaf of bread, the man has to get all dressed up and put his hair together! I go nuts!

    Even though he does annoy me quite a bit, I guess I love him even more because of it!

    Things I d i know drive him nuts:

    #1: I always forget to replace the garbage back in the garbage can (I take the garbage out and can’t, for the life of me, remember to go back and put another bag in the trash can)
    #2: I walk barefoot everywhere in the house and for some reason he hates it so much.

    • Luna says...

      Garbage bag tip, leave 2-3 bags already made up. When emptying the bin, bag is already set up. Something I had to teach Hubby & eldest Son.

      The bakery made me lol, because that’s me.

    • Lisa says...

      We divide our chores by what we don’t mind doing. I HATE taking out the trash and he doesn’t mind it, but he hates replacing the bag. So he always takes out the trash and while he’s running it outside, I replace the bag and wipe down the top of the trash can. Teamwork!

  41. Fiona says...

    Mike does what I’ve named ‘the crocodile roll’ where he just rolls/flips around and around all night, slowly and steadily accumulating all the covers on the bed until he’s in a vice of his own making. Then he invariably gets too hot and all the covers get pushed away (with much drama) and become like a giant divider pillow between us. I got an extra large comforter for the bed to accommodate the crocodile roll, so I don’t freeze every night.

    • Michelle says...

      Hi Fiona. We have 2 comforters now… one for me and one for him. Sounds like you might like having 2 comforters as well!

  42. Wendy says...

    My Husband and I are approaching our 10 year mark, and just like your situation with Alex – he rubs his toes together AND he also does this weird clicking thing with his fingers. At this point in the relationship I just look at him and he knows. With that being said, I’d rather deal with his irritating quirks over anyone else’s … Even Thomas Shelby.

  43. L says...

    Never ever takes the direct route to anywhere. Never. Ever.

    • Luna says...

      Mine too xx

  44. Kathleen says...

    I love the spirit of this post and the comments. We have two small children, which means we spend a lot of time at home… and these little things feel so BIG some days that it becomes easy to miss the bigger picture of the many wonderful qualities of my partner. His time management is horrible – I can usually get myself and our two kids ready before he gets ready. And he waits until the last minute to get ready, making leaving the house stressful for me. On a lighter note, the way he licks an ice cream cone drives me nuts!! I apparently don’t close lids well :)

  45. Kim says...

    My guy never shuts the cupboards. Never. His logic is that he’ll need to open them again when he inevitably needs something else . *Thinking about investing in open shelving. *

    • Nu says...

      hahaha!! this is too funny. my sister does the same thing when she is visiting. drives me completely nuts. i have decided not to complain but just to shut the doors when i run into them!!

  46. Meghan says...

    I got your back on this one, Alex. I rub my toes (and feet sometimes) together too. It is just a comfort thing! Drives my husband crazy.

  47. Arlen says...

    This is too funny!!
    Him: 1. Can’t seem to close the drawers or cupboard doors in the kitchen – ever! I keep walking in to them with head bumps and thigh-bruises as a result!
    2. Stands in front of a cupboard looking for something that’s behind another box and can’t for the life of him find it. I’ll have to get up from whatever I’m doing to move the box and give him whatever it is he’s looking for! It drives me insane!

    Me:
    1. Can’t stop talking in the mornings. He’s not a morning person, he needs his space and I can’t get used to being so quiet in the mornings… Needless to say I get a lot of blank stares and grunts in the morning…
    2. Always ask him to take the trash out, even though I could do it myself, I just don’t like it, it’s discounting and it’s cold outside. Also he always does it for me, albeit with sighs and eye rolls 😂

    • Jessica says...

      OMG this is literally me and my husband!

  48. Keri says...

    HA my sister, my dad, and I do this…. and it drives all of our partners crazy! They have had conversations about how annoying it is. Weird family tick I guess, we can’t help it.

  49. This hits so close to home!! My fiance picks at his cuticles and it drives me nuts, he’ll do it without evening thinking and it will take someones else *cough* me *cough* to break him out of it. Honestly though it’s so true, those little things are what make our partners so special and unique and I wouldn’t have him any other way <3

  50. Emily says...

    He takes forever to get ready. I’m not even sure what he’s doing, but I get myself and the three kids ready in the same amount of time it takes him to get ready. He will clean up the entire kitchen, but leave all the dishes in the sink, then sit back and feel great about the spotless kitchen. I guess the dish fairy is coming by later.

    • Hahaha! Mine too. Also he empties the dishwasher but leaves anything that’s not a standard plate, glass, cup or piece of cutlery on the counter by the dishwasher. Like he just cannot figure out where we would keep an oven dish or a mixing bowl?

    • Desiree says...

      My husband put the dishes in the dishwasher but does not hand wash the stuff that can not be put in the dishwasher. And while he is doing the dishes he acts like he needs all the praise for this and when I say you did not do ALL the dishes he says “Why cant you just be happy with what I did do”. He also thinks there is a dish fairy that does the rest.

  51. Joanna says...

    He leaves dishes next to the sink and not in it.
    Falls asleep with t.v on every single night.

    Starts eating before I sit down and gets up before I’m done, so rude. How hard is it to wait!!!

  52. Leslie says...

    I do the toes thing too! I thought it was just me! My boyfriend hasn’t said anything, but it use to crack my college roommate up. We would be sitting around, doing work and she would start giggling because I was moving my toes so much. I’m happy to know other people do it. I wonder why we do, and if it has a name?!

  53. Jeff says...

    My wife chomps on ice like there’s no tomorrow. First, it was during pregnancy, but then never stopped. She’s great but it sounds like a squirrel is living among us. She has to tap the top of her can of diet coke 3X (no more or less) before opening heaven forbid the floor fall,from beneath us (seriously!). And she always needs me to scratch under her bra strap – not a let peeve, but I’m not the only one.

    • Luna says...

      My Husband finds it annoying that whenever I drink a can of any kind, still rare, I have to wipe the top and around the can with a wet wipe. Then use a tissue to wipe it dry. Every time.

  54. Joanna says...

    He leaves dishes next to the sink and not in it.
    Falls asleep with t.v on every single night.
    Leaves a pot to soak by sink and never finishes the job.
    Leaves out the vacuum as if to say ” look at me over here I did some vacuuming”

  55. My husband does the toes thing too, but I find it really endearing. Now that we’ve been together for 10 years, I don’t know if I could fall asleep without the soft sounds of his toes rubbing together and the cat snoring :)

  56. Tasha says...

    My husband will scoot all the food on his plate into a pile and cut it all up at once. Like he’s cutting up food for a kid. He stabs it and drags his knife across the whole plate in different directions. I find it so embarrassing, especially when we eat out or at someone’s house. At home alone it makes me cringe so bad I can’t even watch. I get unnecessarily angry. I’m sure he gets annoyed at my paper piles that sit out for a while as I try to organize. (Then the piles BECOME the organization.)

    • Lizzie says...

      My husband cuts his food the same way! He just did it yesterday when we were staying at a resort–a big pile of pancakes, cut all at once and then eaten in massive forkfuls like a teenage boy. I find it embarrassing, but I guess he probably finds it efficient?

  57. Jess says...

    I love this! And your inst video 😂… this morning I was told off by my husband after he witnessed me nicking socks from his draw. I said “ you are married to me this is just one of the things I’m going to do which might annoy you. Deal with it. We have many years to go.” He laughted and said “ fair enough”.

  58. Carla says...

    I’m not one to comment ever (I’m a lurker) but I have so many things to add!

    In fact, this morning I had to take a deep breath while reaching for the toilet paper. A brand new roll hanging UNDER (every single time). I literally thought to myself, “compromise.”

    My husband is also guilty of the toes. He is a drummer and he claims he to be practicing drum beats. He sometimes will clatter his teeth to make a melody. Less of a pet peeve, just very odd.

    The last one I’ll mention is hard to describe. He scratches his throat by making some god-awful sound. Apparently this one is genetic because our 9-month-old son is starting to do it.

    The man is amazing in so many ways. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. However, if I could magically rid one of these (or ones not mentioned!) away, I would!

    He says I don’t screw caps and lids back on tightly. He might be right. Also, I tend to undress as I walk through our house. He calls it the “trail of tears.”

    • aga says...

      This made me laugh so much!

    • Morgan says...

      I know the throat scratch!
      Omg every morning…
      All I have to do is give death eyes and he knows! Haha

  59. I seriously thought that my husband was the only one who does the TOES. It drives me crazy. I suddenly feel better. 😂

  60. Katie says...

    My husband does the same thing with his feet and it drives me nuts! He moves his toes while rubbing his feet together. One time I snapped while he was doing it in front of my family and I think they all thought I was nuts. He also rubs his face with hands a lot ecspecially in the car.

  61. lol. My husband and I have been together for over 30 years. We call ourselves “The Bickerers.” Sometimes in the middle of a “disagreement” we look at each other and start laughing. We then say, “I love you” and its over. We have plenty of things that drive each other crazy. My husband would like to have at least half of one closet in the house. (Then he gives me a gift certificate for a clothing store that I like and his potential closet space gets even smaller). He also hates that I use the same tiny paper bathroom cup for weeks and throws my cup into the recycling bin when I’m not looking. I can’t stand that he goes barefoot all summer, gets in the shower with dirty feet and the white tiles are grossly gray until the next time the shower floor is scrubbed.
    The list is probably endless, but also endlessly tolerable given the positive that we get from our relationship. We are in it for the long haul and there will be so much more to get bothered about before it is over. How lucky for us.

    • Daynna Shannon says...

      I love this and you, Dottie.

  62. Caucus says...

    My husband: Does not clear his throat when he has a frog in it. He carries on talking in this phlegm-y dalek voice.

    Screws lids on jars so tight I have a mini heart attack trying to open them, brought on by physical exertion and RRRAAGE.

    Does not chew his food. So he finished 10 minutes before me. His whole family eat like this. It is gross. Oh, apart from soup – he chews soup and I can hear his teeth gnashing the liquid.

    Sits beside the fire, picks his nose and puts the bogies in the wood pile. Lord help me.

    Puts things away in the kitchen when I am cooking and still using them. And complains when I have (gasp) dirtied pots and pans by… cooking…

    Calls a cab when he knows I am not ready yet. It does not make me go faster.

    Says ‘what do you think TO xyz’ instead of ‘what do you think OF xyz”

    Walks like a baby elephant around our flat, and types like one as well.

    BUT! He always always leaves the toilet seat down and for that I forgive him everything.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      “Does not clear his throat when he has a frog in it. He carries on talking in this phlegm-y dalek voice.” = hahahahahahaha

    • Amy says...

      This list made me laugh so hard!

    • Megan W says...

      I’m crying laughing— the non clearing of the throat!!!! BHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    • Mo says...

      My God I wish I could upvote this list, lololol.

  63. Michelle says...

    This post is rather validating. My boyfriend is pretty Type A so things like, when I slice a lemon in half and leave the other half on the counter for a few days, or use his pans on high heat or don’t properly wash and dry his fancy knives he freaks out or at least asks very pointed questions on the rationale for this. I have a passive aggressive Post-It list next to the stove outlining all his cookware rules…I also love to dry all our clothes on hot because it seems faster, but then we’re not sure if we shrank our shirts or gained 5 pounds.

    The things I find annoying is how he hangs all of his slightly damp clothes after surfing or a work out all over our bedroom on the doors to ‘dry out’. Our bedroom looks like a tech-gear tornado. Another weird thing is how he doesn’t notice he’s hungry until he’s hangry, makes or forages for food all grumpy and then eats and says “It feels good to eat”. As a believer in 3 squares a day I’m always baffled by this!

    These things seem so annoying and extensive in real life, it’s funny to realize on paper how brief the list really is!

  64. Katie says...

    My husband runs hot, I run cold. I can always tell if he has opened a window/door and has left it open a millisecond too long and shout out DOOR! He likes to “air out the house” by leaving as many windows open as possible even when it’s 20 degrees out. But here is the kicker, he is always wearing multiple layers, including thick fleece jackets/vest, socks/slippers and then complains I have turned the heat up too much! AGH – take off a layer!! I suppose I could add a layer, too…. :)

  65. TM says...

    My annoying habits: I will write down grocery lists and notes on our mail or other paper scraps to the point where my husband is afraid to throw anything away. He gets really disgusted when he finds my wadded up tissues under my pillow, on the dresser, or on the couch…basically everywhere. He also calls any spot I’ve been sitting in my “nest” because I make a pile of things around me (blanket, socks, remotes, pens, my phone, etc.).

    As for my husband, he is SO LOUD ALL THE TIME. He is like a bull in a china shop and can’t do anything gently. He makes so much noise when he’s in the kitchen that I sometimes have to put my earbuds in or silently meditate. It sucks because I appreciate he’s cooking and cleaning, but it is so annoying. He also has this thing where he doesn’t like objects to touch each other, so his stuff takes up much more space. Like, his drawers can only contain a few items at a time.

    • Lauren says...

      The drawers thing…so hilarious!!

    • mish says...

      oh yes TM, the “SO LOUD” thing, with everything, especially in the kitchen, trying to find a spoon in the drawer or a pot or pan that he needs to use, sounds like the cupboard has toppled over and EVERYTHING has fallen onto the tiled floor!!! also just drives me crazy!

    • Natalie says...

      I do the tissues thing too!!! It’s embarrassing but I can’t stop. They are all over the house and I’ve done it my whole life. My family calls them my “snot rags.”

    • Nicole says...

      I totally do the “snot rag” thing too! I have tissues all over the house – and in pockets of all my coats.

      I love that he calls what you do a “nest”! That perfectly fits me. I have to have all my stuff around me while I’m all cuddled up in a blanket. Nest is the perfect way to describe it!

  66. Sadie says...

    If I ask him, “Are you ready to leave?” he always says yes. HE IS NEVER ACTUALLY READY.

    • Jennifer says...

      Oh mine too, it makes me insane!!!

  67. Kate says...

    These are hilarious!! My husband leaves beer bottle caps in drawers. I have no idea why he does it! He opens the beer bottle into the drawer with the bottle opener and leaves it there every time. It’s such a silly thing to get annoyed with, but i about drives me batty!

    • Sadie says...

      I’m a bit jealous that they make it to a drawer. My husband leaves them all over the f–ing apartment, for my bare feet to find! He knows he does it, and I think he genuinely wants to stop, but he doesn’t even know when it’s happening.

    • caroline says...

      My husband leaves bottle caps in the drawers too. It’s so bizarre. Another thing he does is leave the empty beer bottles inside the sink or right next to the sink, instead of in the recycling bin which is literally a pull out under said sink..?? So puzzling.

    • Luna says...

      Yes to the beer bottle caps too. At least the bottles go into the recycle bin, 7/10 times.

      Sadie, Ouch!! I know the feeling too well.

  68. Eve says...

    My husbands time management is definitely not ideal, which use to drive my crazy (we’d be late for things, he’d be late to meet me, we’ll JUST be leaving the house and suddenly it seems like a good time to water the plants?!) but now I just see it as “optimistic time management” and come prepared (tell friends to meet us a little later, read a book while I wait)! For him, Im sure he’d say the pile of clothes I let accumulate on the bathroom floor…! I always leave them in there before showering and someone don’t get back to them! Also my tendency to do a project without planning it out, Im more of a “better to get something done than nothing” which often leads to important home projects being half done in a not so great way (building something, organizing the office, etc!)
    This post is sooo normalizing!

    • Eve says...

      Oh! I also forgot: sleep schedules! I loveeeee bed and so after dinner and maybe a drink I’m like can’t wait to be asleep! My husband is more of a night owl and he would love to then stay up and maybe meet a friend for a beer, but each time I join I end up falling alseep literally on the couch or speaking through long yawns and tired person squinty eyes! My husband NEVER complains about this somehow! He simply kindly suggests I get some sleep and we’ll hang out in the morning lol

  69. Andria says...

    My husband has a habit of cracking his ear on my head whenever I lean on him. And he’s super obsessed with cracking like all of his joints. He will get so annoyed if his elbow needs to crack and won’t, and he cracks his back, neck and arms at least daily.
    Not sure if I’m weird but I only occasionally crack my knuckles and never feel like anything else in my body needs cracked.
    He also hates the look of jogger pants which makes me so mad because I love them. I still wear my favorite pair but knowing I’ll never be attractive to him in them is just annoying.
    Also, in the mornings when he wakes up, he will sometimes violently fling the covers off of both of us and jump out of bed, sending a blast of arctic air my way.

    • Luna says...

      Lol @ violently fling.

  70. Hannah says...

    these. are. brilliant.
    for him:
    1. he is incapable of putting things back where they belong. there are tools everywhere, ketchup and mustard live on the kitchen counter, I mean the list could go on forever.
    2. when we first got married it bugged me so much that he would sleep in the MIDDLE OF A KING SIZE BED. like directly in the middle!!!! and one night I walked in the room and saw him so cozy in the middle of the bed and I snapped. now I think hes afraid of me but still sleeps like 10% on my side. (this was especially heinous when he would let the dog sleep with us, of course the dog would be on my side and I would be squished in between a hot sweaty man and a hot furry dog. it was insufferable.)
    3. when he cooks. oh my dear lord. he’s a great cook but you would not believe the sheer amount of tools he uses to make a one pot meal. it looks like a category 4 hurricane has just wrecked our kitchen. then he cant put anything away (See #1)

    for me:
    1. I’m not gonna refill the brita. not gonna do it and I cant explain why.
    2. if he is home, he HAS to make the coffee, even if he doesn’t want any. if I’m home alone i’ll do it, but if he’s there it’s his job!!
    3. I always ask him to complete really mundane tasks for me that I could easily do but I know he’ll begrudgingly do it if I ask, so….I ask, he does.

    but. he’s sexy and I love him so it all works out :)

    • Jaclyn says...

      Hahaha I would post my own comment but it would basically read exactly like yours….for both parties involved!

    • Emily says...

      ” . . . not gonna do it and I can’t explain why.”
      exactly. exactly!

    • Luna says...

      Hubby is definitely like yours.

      But the Brita Jug is another sore point. My Hubby will only refill it if all 6-8 Litres of filtered water are finished & I’m away, on holidays. But worse still, he doesn’t sense the Brita Jug needs cleaning, instead he will continue to filter water and I am the only one who can taste the difference.

  71. Sarah says...

    My husband, who is an angel, has several little habits that make me nuts! My main annoyance with him is that we’ll plan to go somewhere and leave at 3- I’ll remind him, he’ll be ready before me, and at 3 I’ll walk toward the door. Like MAGIC, like the TIDE, he will LEAP up and immediately find four small things he has to do before we leave the house (empty the dishwasher, feed the cats, move a pile of books from the table to the stairs, clean out the linen closet?!?!?) like…the dude does nothing most of the time and his anxiety takes over and we are ALWAYS 20 minutes late to anything.

    When it comes to me, he can’t stand that I walk around the house in bare feet…he thinks feet are gross and can’t handle the idea of a bare foot touching the floor. He also gets SO MAD that I don’t refill the Brita pitcher :). I’m not sure why I don’t do it, it just annoys me and I’d rather him do it!

    • Judy says...

      Haha – my boyfriend is the opposite – can’t handle the fact that I wear shoes or slippers around the house. He thinks they make the floor dirty (interesting, since I’m the one who vacuums…).
      Before we lived together, he used to live with his best friend, and I don’t think they owned a vacuum. Their floors were so gross, but he would always get annoyed when I’d wear shoes in their house. I can’t handle crumbs sticking to the bottom of my feet!
      He also gets frustrated when I drink water from the tap, instead of using our Brita… It’s the SAME water (and I hate refilling it, for some reason)!

  72. Practical girl says...

    When my husband blows on the food on his fork to cool it off, he somehow manages to only blow rather forcefully and directly into the face of the person sitting across from him…me for the last 8 years. When we first moved in together I mentioned to him that he did this and he was SHOCKED! He said, “Geez, I wonder how many second dates I missed out on?!” LOL! My husband is awesome in all other ways and I adore him, but the hot breath in my face when I’m trying to eat makes me nuts. I have been accused of leaving half used tissues and paper towels all over the house (I am saving them to use the other half!). What can I say, I’m frugal and hate to waste. :)

    • Kate says...

      Omg I had tears running down my face trying to brush my teeth after reading this!

    • Luna says...

      Practical Girl your Husband sounds like my Husband’s identical twin!

      My Husband did this to me only last week & thinks he’s never ever done it before, lol.

  73. Raleigh says...

    Thank you for this post! The comments made me smile – then belly laugh – for the first time since Tuesday, and I’m usually a joyful person. Montecito/Santa Barbara are heartbreaking places to be this week, so thank you a million times over for sharing your squeaky toe, salmon flip, and adorable wouldn’t-trade-my-oddball-for-the-world stories. xoxo

  74. Ali says...

    Pen clicking & foot tapping! We work together and he’s in the office above me and I swear it sounds like he’s doing an irish jig! Also when looking for things he just scans the area and nope, can’t find it. I then walk into the room and find it instantly. His peeves – I never check the oil in my car, take forever to get ready and leave tea bags on the bench

  75. Chantelle says...

    Couldn’t not respond to this. These are hilarious! My husband is a terribly distracted driver. He’s careful driving but for the last 12 years that we’ve been together almost ALWAYS drives in the wrong direction!! I don’t get it. It’s like he’s too busy thinking about other things when driving…He’s also really messy. His “work shop” in our basement looks like a bomb went off and I wanted to shrink into the floor when an electrician (who was working on our home) asked to see his work space :\ He also rarely washes his work clothes but assumes they are clean because he wears a white tshirt under every shirt he wears (like, even in crazy hot summer heat!). Has something to do with showing absolutely no chest hair??
    I’m sure I have plenty of annoying quirks too! I use used dish towels to dust around the house (he hates that!), I clean up his stuff all the time but can’t remember where I put it…sometimes permanently. I frequently claim to have to use the washroom only to take refuge in my room for lengthy periods of time to get quiet time away from my kids (I am a sahm). Despite it all, I love him to pieces and can’t imagine life without him!

  76. Courtney says...

    I truly love my husband but when he tells me about the things he does for the house/our baby that just need to be done; it drives me bonkers. I feel like he wants a metal for his accomplishments which then makes me want to go into all the details of the things I’ve done. And then I feel like a little kid. I just wish he did things and quietly wished for me to notice.

    • Catherine says...

      oh I can relate so much!!! “I emptied the dishwasher, did you notice? ” I mean, drives me crazy too! And I’ll ask hime more often than not (when in a bad mood, tired etc) if he wants a medal for it. If I try to remember, it seems that it started after my son was born… (almost 16 years ago!!)

    • Tasha says...

      Oh my god, THIS!

    • Luna says...

      Yes to this xx

      Even though I have to re-wash EVERY cutlery, dish, pots & pans because they have grease/residue on them.

  77. Annie says...

    Love these! My husband cannot find anything either, he is always like “I think someone must have stolen it!” (seriously) and I always have to help him find things which drives me NUTS because I never misplace things. But, I’ve put this to my advantage by hiding the “good chocolate” (and by hiding I mean it’s behind one thing on the dessert shelf). He also “doesn’t notice” clutter but then, he gets annoyed that I don’t notice that the plants need water or that the yard needs work, so I guess we’re even there. It also bothers him the way I hold knives- he always acts like I’m about to stab him- how do I hold them then?! How does one hold a knife when moving about the kitchen?

    • Hahaha the knife comment made me laugh. In school we were told to hold sharp tools in a way that their pointy ends are pointing at the floor, if we need to move around. Funnily this advice stuck with me and I always hold scissors/knives/sharp things this way!

    • Luna says...

      My Husband will hand me sharp objects with the sharp end pointing at me.

  78. Alex says...

    Now that my husband and I have a toddler and a newborn, I think my biggest pet peeve is that he can sleep through anything. Before we had children, this was a good thing because I never had to worry about accidentally waking him up if I stayed up later than he did. Now that we have children, it means that even if it’s his turn to wake up and tend to a crying child I also have to wake up to wake him up because he could sleep right through the crying. So I ALWAYS wake up.

    • Ashley says...

      I know this comment is about two months late, but I SO RELATE TO THIS. My husband is always more than willing to wake up to change the baby or comfort her, but what’s the point when I have to wake up to wake him up? I love him, he’s wonderful, but at 2am, I want to hurt him. haha

  79. Sarah says...

    If these comments were made into a book I would buy it.

    I totally relate to the toe noise, except for me, it’s this noise my husband (we just got married a week ago so still feels weird to type) makes by rubbing his beard hairs together. It is seriously heinous BUT he says the easy fix is for him to shave his facial hair, which I love, so I’m trying to get over it. The second thing makes me mad even just thinking about it. Every time we are trying to get out of the house and I’m picking out the final parts of my outfit or gathering up items we need for our outing he will sit down and start to play the guitar. WHY? We’re about to walk out the door and to him this reads as the perfect time to practice. I actually asked him about it and he says its the best way to get me out of the house if I’m taking too long, because I get so mad at him I forget that I didn’t like the lipstick color I had on. That’s pretty smart, but I still find it intensely annoying. I think his for me would be that anytime he seems slightly off I ask him why he’s mad at me. I’m working on that one.

    • Whitney says...

      My husband does the guitar playing, too! And also drives me nuts that he is constantly playing it, like scales and playing along to songs. Or plays at the same time I’m trying to listen to music.

  80. Stephanie says...

    This post. This post is *exactly* what I needed. I made dinner last night with my boyfriend of 4 months, and his finiky-ness — about the way I cut potatoes, load the dishwasher, put ice in the glass — drove me crazy. I thought, “Can I really do this? Do life with this person forever? With his INTENSE focus on the SIZE of POTATO slices?” But then I read this post and remembered 1) I don’t have know yet, 2) he puts up with my annoying habits, and 3) we can always opt for pre-cut potatoes.

  81. Beth says...

    Best post of the year, hands down. Reader comments are making me cry over here. Even my husband is laughing!!!

  82. klw says...

    Hubby is quite possibly the loudest. flosser. ever. And boy does he love to floss. But – he has impeccable oral hygiene. You win some, you lose some ;)

    • Cara says...

      My husband will floss while watching TV in the living room. So disgusting!

    • jones says...

      My husband is a loud flosser too. The noise bothers me less than the fact that he walks all around the house while doing it (teeth brushing too). Certain things need to be done in the bathroom.

  83. Gabriela says...

    Not in a relationship right now but the last guy I dated was pretty curmudgeony and he had this intense thing about the proper way to close doors. He could be all the way in his bedroom and if I closed the bathroom door (very softly) without actually turning the handle, he would *bark* at me about “slamming the door” hahaha!

    • Luna says...

      Wow!

  84. Samantha says...

    I am loving this post! My husband has a disgusting habit of hanging his sweaty gym clothes over the shower rod. We don’t have a laundry room so that’s his solution until they are washed. He’ll be home any minute with his next batch. He uses about 5 dishtowels when cooking. He destroys them. They look like a mouse has chewed them. If one drops on the floor for a split second it’s deemed “dead”. I can’t stand carpet lines and “comb” the carpet which is borderline obsessive. Oh to have hardwood floors. Decorating gods hear my plea!!

    • Luna says...

      I understand about the dishtowels. If I ask my Husband to check on the contents in the oven, he will use 2 towels for this one task. Then he will use 2 different towels to take it out of the oven. I always end up washing a small load of 5-7 dishtowels even though he didn’t cook or clean that meal.

  85. Vanessa LeBlanc says...

    Oh man, is there any way back you can try and capture the toes sound? I’m having a hard time imagining it.

    Totally with Alex on his annoyance as my partner does that too!

    • Twyla says...

      Vanessa – it’s similar to if you snapped your fingers softly. Over and over and over.

  86. Lo says...

    Empty bottles and cans left everywhere
    Never sits down when dinner is ready. The moment I say dinner is ready he decides to cut up a lemon for his glass of water, which takes a solid 3 minutes.
    Leaves clothes everywhereeee
    Leaves shoes at the front door!

    • we must be living with the same man! LOL. This post is amazing. Making my day.

  87. Tammy says...

    I managed to break my husband’s habit of saying, “That’s not a bad idea.” Now he FINALLY tells me, “That’s a GOOD idea!” It’s a small thing, but I appreciate it every time.

    • Hannah says...

      OH MY GOSH my husband always says “I mean, I don’t disagree with you.” WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY YOU AGREE WITH ME??!!!

      That is too funny.

  88. Laura C. says...

    728 comments and counting… this is great! It’s like it is a giveaway post, haha. I’m having a great time reading comments!

  89. Jessica says...

    I love that my boyfriend pretty much always washes and puts away the dishes. HOWEVER, he always puts everything away in the wrong place. It’s become a guessing game for me now whenever I’m cooking, “hmm, where could the whisk be today?” He also uses a new cup for everything. Has a glass of water, puts it in the sink. Gets a new glass for more water later. I know he is the one who does the dishes, but it still drives me nuts.

    He leaves all of the lights in the house on when he comes to bed at night!

    He paces constantly! He puts on his headphones and listens to podcasts for hours while walking back and forth from the living room to the kitchen. He is not a light walker, it’s constant stomping back and forth and random giggling depending on what he’s listening to.

    The things that I know annoy him are the way I pronounce certain words like ketchup, I guess I say CATchup. Or that I’m picky about where we eat and can never make a decision. I’m also very particular about how things are decorated or placed on a shelf, and whenever he places something somewhere I always have to move it an inch. Fun! ;)

    • Nicole says...

      My husband does the new glass thing too! The other night though he said, “Oh! Forgot my water in the basement, be right back!” I thanked him when he came back up! Seriously one of the most thoughtful, albeit smallest, gestures he has done. I know how hard it is for him to remember that it drives me crazy though!

      I could’ve started crying I was so happy though. :)

    • Missy says...

      Omg podcasts….my husband is never not listening to one which means he is never fully listening to me!
      He also does the dishes most of the time but hardly ever cleans anything else. But of course when he does, he should get a medal lol.

  90. Ck says...

    I cannot believe no one has mentioned knuckle cracking! My nightmare. We’ve been together nearly 20 years, so we’ve both got long lists. My top is that he wears outdoor shoes in the house. His top (I believe) is that I don’t mind when our toddler plays with the dog’s water. I just think it’s funny.

  91. I will never understand the reasoning behind my boyfriend not being able to close ANYTHING – cabinet doors, refrigerator, toilet seat lid – without SLAMMING it down.

    Hi pet peeve for me is definitely my inability to ever refill the Brita filter. I don’t know why but it just seems easier to leave it empty on the counter :).

    • Mona says...

      This! My man just can’t open a door quietly. He attacks it! Same with toilet lid – if he remembers to close it.

  92. Nicole says...

    I haven’t been in a relationship for 1,000 years, but I have a funny one:

    My parents leave the same TV program on, on high volume, in every room of the house. Step dad is particularly fond of war movies and news debate programs. It feels like I am in jail.

  93. Neela says...

    Joanna, this is so hilarious, because you and Alex have exactly the same partner peeves that my husband and I have, only in reverse! I will never be able to stop my toes, and my freshly cooked meals always have to wait for my husband to finish an email, haha!

  94. Katie says...

    Y’all this is bringing me so much joy right now. I feel like I’m in a big room with all my best friends while they share their husband grievances. It’s so so hilarious.

  95. A wet sponge. Soaking wet. Once my husband is done doing dishes, he doesn’t squeeze out the excess water in the sponge so the next time I go to pick up the sponge, it’s a wet, sloppy, disgusting, liquid-filled mess. Ugh!

    His for me would be my constant need to keep the bed sheet in place with the duvet. Somehow in the middle of the night, he separates the two (and pulls the sheet only on him) and it drives me insane!

    • Whitney WR says...

      Ha! The sponge one is one of my pet peeves too!!

    • Beth says...

      We are the same person. Xo lolol

    • Maya says...

      This is us too! Except it’s a wet dish cloth that he never rings out and always ends up smelling horrible the next day. I asked him what his is for me and he said the way I have to have the bed made just so every night 😂

    • SB says...

      We had BOTH of these problems but I found workarounds that have made my life so much better. I started buying the blue scouring pad–it’s only the scrubby part, not the sponge itself. It dries out on its own and has saved me a lot of gross-out moments. I also ditched the top sheet entirely and just wash our duvet cover with the sheets each time. The bed can stay consistently comfortable without a wadded up sheet now! (Of course, that brings the new problem of his complete inability to understand how to get the duvet cover back on… still working on that one.)

  96. Taylor says...

    These are hilarious. Off the top of my head, I’m always telling my husband I feel like I live my life by his bowel movements because you know those aren’t just 2-minute affairs. And he piles clothes on top of his dresser instead of folding and putting them away, or even tossing them in the laundry. But! After 14 years together, with 7 spent in cohabitation, he is very good about my need for decluttering elsewhere in the house.

    Plus I definitely have an annoying quirk of clearing my throat to the tune of “shave and a haircut, two bits,” which, admittedly, would be super annoying.

    • Laurie says...

      The throat clearing is hilarious! I actually just tried to do it… Not easy!

      My ex turned most long yawns into “Russian-ish” phrases.

  97. michaela says...

    These comments are hilarious. I knew immediately which two little habits of mine my husband would say drive him insane—I don’t immediately remove my coat when I walk in the door (I want to warm up from being outside and reach a comfy temp first!) and I drip water onto the bathmat instead of toweling off before I get out of the shower (what?! What else is the bathmat for?!)—but I’m having a harder time bringing to mind any of his annoying quirks! What gives! Probably I can’t narrow them down because there are too many. ;) Ha ha.

    • Gemima says...

      Neither of us could towel off in our shower, it’s not wide enough!

      As the shower water is behind me, I do rinse one foot first, shake it off, then step out on to the mat & then repeat with my other foot & then turn off shower.

      However my Husband doesn’t, leaving a soaking bathmat for me to step on next morning. He is a Mammoth and water holds on to all his hairs.

  98. mallory says...

    My husband has a COMPLETELY irrational kitchen sponge system. He has a “counter sponge” and a “dish sponge.” I could maybe understand this if we used some kind of harsh chemicals to clean the counter, but we use Mrs Meyers stuff. And all we are cleaning off the counters is food… the same food that’s on the dishes. And THEN, he will leave BOTH sponges sitting in the sink with dirty dishes, just soaking in the disgusting bottom of the sink water. And yet has the gall to chide me when I use the “dish sponge” to wipe down the counter. It’s insane!!!

    But I’m a total slob, so. He wins.

    • JacP says...

      Oh my god, I could have written this word for word!

  99. Katie W says...

    The way he eats crunchy things. I definitely have misophonia, which he calls “no patience disorder”. I can’t quite describe it, but it’s loud, super fast CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCH noises, like a little squirrel, eating Doritos.

    Clearly I am a lunatic.

    • My mom had misophonia, and I had anxiety about it! When we first dated I would chastise my husband for “chewing loudly” even though he had his mouth closed and was chewing like a normal human. I’d get even more nervous around my parents. I don’t have misophonia, and his chewing doesn’t even bother me at all, but I had to unlearn that behavior for sure. Now, even when I’m visiting my parents and my chewing gets criticized, it doesn’t get under my skin.

      I don’t know if it’s accurate to say that nothing about him annoys me, but we’ve been together 7 years and I don’t think there are any pet peeves at this point. Things that other people find annoying about us (I repeat myself, he needs people to repeat themselves) tend to fit well together.

    • Katherine says...

      Omg THIS!!!! I cannot be in the same room as my husband if he is eating cereal. The slurping! The crunching! I can’t handle it, I genuinely freak out about it because it is such a horror to hear.

  100. ML says...

    I cannot even tell you how comforting all these comments have been! There’s something so normalizing, and then maybe even endearing?, to realize I’m not the only partner annoyed out of my brain! : )

    My partner, yes, sneezes like it’s his personal responsibility to be a tsunami warning to the entire left coast and never uses his wing or a tissue! ARGH. (And I too have misophonia.) He also wipes his mouth/nose on his serviette and places it back on the table, wet!! He takes ages to unpack, put away laundry, puts wet towels on my side of the bed, won’t rehang my delicates drying on the shower rack after he gets ready, and he is not an initiator. Of doing chores, vacations, weekend plans, etc. It’s taken me years to let go of this expectation and make peace with this just not being who he is. I am a planner & pursuer in all our relationships, he just isn’t. He is, however, so good at just enjoying life and being spontaneous about fun and adventure.

    As for what annoys him about me? See all the things above that I get annoyed about. “I just want you to be happy,” is his most common phrase. And then I feel like an idiot… until he sneezes again!

    • Leah says...

      The loud sneezing! Your description is so wonderfully perfect. My husband does this, too, and I have to stop myself from commenting on it, as in, you CAN control how loudly you sneeze, you know. Do you sneeze like that at work?!? Haha!

    • Maya says...

      LOL. my husband literally says “ah-chooga” when he sneezes! Like what? Who does that? These are too funny!

    • Sophie says...

      Haha oh my gosh Leah, I totally can’t control my loud sneeze, or prevent it. It’s made for some mild to moderately scary times while driving!

    • Gemima says...

      ML
      You win best comment by far because we’re the same.

      Yes, to the Tsunami sneeze and always “It came too fast to grab a tissue.”

      I always carry tissues & wet wipes because my Husband does the same with services. Especially in public dining areas.

      He rarely unpacks and puts away groceries, even though he knows there are refrigerated items. However, when he does remember, he puts away ONLY THE refrigerated items, the rest remain in the bags.

      He never puts away his clean laundry even though he has the most & manage laundry for myself & kids. He grabs only what he needs and leaves the remainder, for days/weeks.

      He uses everyone’s bath towels, even the kid’s while his is unused.

      I am also the initiator/organiser/planner in the family and he always answers with, what do YOU want to do/eat/watch/travel etc etc. It’s exhausting. So I started going off doing whatever I wanted and he would get upset he wasn’t there. True enough he started contributing.

  101. Abbie says...

    My husband. The loud chewing. It almost makes me angry! I feel so mean, but I can’t help mentioning it much of the time.

  102. Evie says...

    These are the most hysterical comments ever!!! I’m dying!!

  103. Emma says...

    My boyfriend of 4 years refuses to change “comfy clothes” when we’re lounging around and – I don’t know why – it drives me absolutely insane. I usually end up getting so flustered about it that I say something, which only strengthens his resolve.

    Same with shoes in the house. When I begged him to switch to slippers, he said he didn’t like them. I even offered to buy him the same shoes, just “indoor” – but noooooo.

    Last, but not least, he flings his wet towel on my side of the bed EVERY. TIME. He doesn’t realize he does it. We even switched sides of the bed, yet it continues. Now I take a picture of it and send it to him when he does it – even when we’re in the same room. Ha!

    Reading these has made me laugh so hard I cried. Also, thinking about what my partner does which annoys me is weirdly adorable and endearing. Thanks for this post.

    • Iris says...

      I would be weirdly annoyed about not changing to comfy clothes, too. I am ALL IN with comfy clothes – the second the door to my apartment shuts, I’m stripping off my clothes off and putting on the most comfortable, fleeciest, frumpiest pajamas. I actually own two fleece onesies and I wear them all time, with fuzzy slippers.. So if I lived with someone who wore regular/nice-looking clothes while I was walking around like that, I’d feel weird! Luckily my fiance is also all-in with comfy clothes so we look crazy together.

    • Jessica says...

      Yes to comfy clothes! After three years I finally got my boyfriend to start wearing them when we’re lounging around the house. He of course loves it now, because who wouldn’t?! I feel ridiculous when I’m wearing regular clothes around the house, those are for outside! ;)

    • Gemima says...

      I also agree to “comfy clothes”. As I believe switching clothes prolongs the life & quality of our “public clothes”.

      However, my Husband took to the extreme and strips to naked. Until I started making a few friends out of our neighbours and they would just “pop in”. Now he has at least underwear on & comfy clothes nearby. Lol

  104. Karen says...

    My older brother does the toes thing too! It drives me nuts. I usually mention it when someone asks me about my pet peeves, but this is the first time I’ve seen that someone knows what I’m talking about!

  105. Katherine says...

    My husband has to eat breakfast inmediately upon waking up (usually a bowl of cereal the size of his head) every single morning, no matter the day’s circumstances. We have busy mornings with two kids to get fed, dressed, and out the door to school and I often barely have time to brush my teeth, but he always manages to get his full meal in. It drives me crazy – just grab a banana and a bar for the car like the rest of us! I can think of 1-2 times in the 15 years I’ve known him that he skipped breakfast and he always claims he’s going to “pass out from low blood sugar” by about 11 am. Really??

    • Anne says...

      Any chance he is a cyclist? My husband does this exact same thing!

    • Katherine says...

      He’s definitely not a cyclist. His caloric needs are based on the energy output of taking a shower and avoiding the chaos of young kids in the morning!

    • Gemima says...

      Oh Katherine!

      My Husband is first downstairs & feeds himself while upstairs I ready the kids. Finally, the kids trudge downstairs and patiently wait for him to finish his breakfast before asking them, Are you hungry?

      Seriously not kidding.

      One day, seeing OUR kids waiting like this I stopped buying his favourite vegetarian cereals & his precious almond milk until he re worked his morning routine.

  106. Karen says...

    Some of the things that drive me nuts about my husband:
    – It’s impossible for him to find anything. When he opens a cupboard, drawer, bag etc looking for something, unless it’s right at the front staring at him he will tell me he can’t find it and want me to get it for him.
    – He ignores mess on the floor. He will happily step over a sock dropped on the stairs, toys scattered on the floor, an empty bottle he left by the sofa the evening before, something that fell from the table, anything. I wonder how it’s possible not to know this is his responsibility as much as everyone elses.
    – The noises he makes when he’s lying in bed reading. He will start sniffing again and again and again, which is really annoying when I’m lying next to him also reading or trying to sleep. Why don’t you just blow your nose!

  107. MBH says...

    After 17 years together, we could both make lists a mile long….but off the top of my head:
    -When we’re headed out the door and he’s ready and wants me to be ready, even if i need just another minute or two he’ll engage the house alarm so it starts the 30 second ‘get out of the house’ countdown beep. it INFURIATES me. especially since i’m not ready b/c usually i helped both kids get ready while he only took care of himself!
    -clipping nails, nosehair, etc with the bathroom door open. i vote all body maintenance is done in private!
    -monster loud sneezes, and blowing his nose into his hand in the shower SO LOUD it echoes the whole bathroom (and it’s just gross) or just the gas….dear lord, the GAS
    if you asked him about me….number one answer any time is if he sees me on my phone. he HATES me being on my phone. and also despite me being a clean and clutter freak i always have a stack of papers I need to tend to. he hates that stack of papers and he’d overlook an entire messy house to scold me about that stack.

    • KylieO says...

      Oh my god, YES to the first one – my husband does this to me too!! We don’t have an alarm, but he’ll lock the house up, turn the fans off (it’s hot where we live) AND put the kids in the car ALL WHILE I’M STILL GETTING READY! And exactly like you, I’m only still getting ready because I got the kids ready while he took care of himself! So infuriating!!

    • Gemima says...

      I have forgotten important items at home because he rushes me to leave the house. Yet I had to ready two kids before myself AND he has left everything on and unlocked! Therefore I have to run around doing shut offs & lock down too.

  108. Beth says...

    1. He removes and leaves BELLYBUTTON LINT on surfaces around the house!
    2. He can never find anything, EVER, even if I give him a detailed explanation of where it is (it’s in a yellow box on the top shelf, on the left, behind the crackers…)
    3. He PICKS HIS LIPS like other people pick their cuticles. This one drives me insane.
    4. He loves to people-watch, which means if we’re out to eat, for example, I’ll suddenly realize he’s stopped listening and has started to intently watch a couple arguing three tables over…

    He’s also the best husband of all time, but ARGH! I’m glad I’m not the only one!

    • Taylor says...

      Oh my god, my husband picks his bottom lip and it drives me INSANE. Especially as my 3yo daughter has started doing it too. NO.

    • Jen says...

      I pick my lip, it’s terrible and so hard to stop. My mom always nagged me about it so I always feel terrible about myself when I catch myself doing it bc it’s often not conscious.

  109. Caitlin says...

    Oh my gosh – all. the. things.
    Him:
    -leaves his dirty socks in little balls all.over.the.house
    -I specially bought him a dirty clothes hamper for next to his bed and he actually just places the dirty clothes right next to the hamper. WHY GOD WHY?
    -Leaves his shoes right in front of the door so I almost kill myself everyday walking in the door

    Me:
    -HATES when I leave knifes in the sink. He has this extreme fear they will become un-sharp (I truly don’t understand). This is a constant fight.
    -When I use certain utensils on the non-stick pans. It’s like he has a sixth sense and runs to the kitchen whenever I am about use the wrong utensil
    -When I ask a million questions during a movie we both have never seen before

    All that said- he’s my favorite human and if I have to pick up his little balls of dirty socks the rest of my life, I’d be just fine with that.

    • Bianca says...

      Your comments are me any my husband EXACTLY! From sock balls, to complaining about non-stick and knives! haha

    • Katherine says...

      Cailtyn, I think we are living the same life! Everything here is exactly the same for my husband and I. I couldn’t stop laughing as I read this. Thanks and Happy Friday!

    • E.E. says...

      Hahaha! I’m laughing out loud because I’m also a target for the things you do. So weirdly specifically relatable. Like, we have TWO knife sharpeners! Relax!

    • Marta says...

      OMG the sixth sense about the utensils on non-stick pans. Yes!!! My husband can hear that from behind a closed bathroom door at the other end of the house!

    • Lee says...

      OMG ditto on the metal utensils on non-stick pans!!! I had a baby recently and my father-in-law brought his OWN SET of wooden utensils with him when he came to help us for a few weeks, just so he could avoid my husband micro-managing his cooking utensils 😂😂😂

    • Whitney says...

      Haha my husband would have the same complaints about me. But he did ruin a lot of nice, nonstick cookware by using a FORK and cooking things on high.

    • Elly says...

      Oooh my husband is the question asker during movies we’ve never seen and I get SO ANNOYED.

  110. Bergen says...

    I’m not married, but I live with two roommates and some of the things they do drive me nuts. One of them always leaves lights and the fan in her bathroom on all day while she’s at work. I don’t want to pay for electricity that no one is using! And I cannot stand the sound of the bathroom fan on all day. I can hear it from everywhere in the apartment.

    Both of them can’t close a door without slamming it. Usually in the mornings when I’m trying to get those extra minutes of sleep or at night when I’m about to fall asleep.

    I think I’m turning into my dad because those are the things he used to get after us for when I was growing up!

    • Andrea says...

      Oh my god sniffling. I feel sooo bad when I get irritated by this because it is so unreasonable, but OMG sniffling.

  111. Clare says...

    I love all these comments so much. Who knew that foot-rubbing was such a noticeable activity? My husband and I have been married for eight years, and I noticed that he would only rub his feet together as a part of waking up each morning. I found this so endearing, and now I do it too.
    I probably annoy him with my inability to EVER put my clothes away. I wash, dry, fold, and can never do the final step. I find it maddening/kind of cute when he pulls his long socks down to his ankles when we’re relaxing–there’s just a bunch of sock hanging off his feet. Why?!

    • Darina says...

      Ugh I am terrible at putting away my clothes. I am great, however, at washing, folding, sorting…but not putting away. I put away our 1 year old’s clothes, but as for me, I live out of laundry baskets always. Sigh.

  112. Meaghan says...

    This post & comments are giving me such life. I’m 8 and bit months pregnant, so this might be an unfair time for me to list my partner’s flaws…..BUT: he leaves cupboards and drawers wide open and it looks like we have a poltergeist, wet towels left on the bed or couch or floor (WHY), food & drink getting stuck in his beard and him being nonchalant about it, him telling me to “stop stressing” when I’m calmly outlining a plan or thinking ahead about something, him being a deep sleeper (this one’s totally unfair). I could go on forever because I’m very witchy right now. I’m flawed in many ways but I’m sure his biggest pet peeve is my nitpicking him about all of the above. All said, he’s a big teddy bear and I’m very excited to be bringing a baby girl into the world with him soon.

    • Emma says...

      “we have a poltergeist” hahaha I’m crying

    • Lauren says...

      The cabinets are ALWAYS OPEN! whyyyyyy?!! Also, a personal fav of mine – finishing the last of something and putting it back in the fridge/cabinet

    • Lee says...

      Does no one teach guys that you hang wet towels on hooks or towel bars, not on doors/bed frames/random furniture? My husband acts like I’m crazy when I scold him for hanging wet towels on doors at other people’s houses…

    • Gemima says...

      My Husband will hang his wet bath towel on top of dry towels, especially MY dry bath towel I have yet to use.

      Or he will use BOTH our towels.

      Then he will not bother to grab himself a clean bath towel BUT proceed to use one of our kid’s towels. Adults using kids towels is just gross, plus kids towels are not as thick. So our kid’s towel is sopping wet.

      He seriously does my bloody head in about towels.

  113. Negative. Thomas Shelby is perfection. I’ve literally dreamt about him (Grace was still alive, but I think I was married to another of the PB’s).

    • Taylor says...

      Side note, I could watch Tommy and Grace’s season 1 love scene every day of my life.

  114. J.Mo says...

    My biggest pet peeve about my husband is his inability to put things back where they belong. I can’t explain it but he literally uses something, finishes using it, and leaves it there. The biggest examples include – tools from the garage that stay in the space where he used them – hammer in the bedroom where he hung artwork, a measuring tape in the bathroom where he measured the mirror; a bottle of fertilizer he used for some indoor plants left in the kitchen; also: can opener left on the countertop; leaving cabinet doors open; leaving bags of chips on the coffee table; a BOX OF ENVELOPES on the kitchen counter. WHYYY??? Also his inability to sort through mail and papers. He got a red light ticket once and ignored the envelope, so guess what happened…he missed the deadline to pay it or set it for court and his license got suspended. It took 2 months to get it reinstated so for the last 2 months of my pregnancy I had to drive him around.

    My husband’s complaint about me would be that I say “Are you sure?” to everything he says…..He claimed that the spinning bike we wanted to buy online was on backorder for 2 months and I said “Are you sure?” and he went nuts!!

    • Gemima says...

      My Husband loses it whenever I ask “Are you okay?” or “What’s wrong?”

      I’m only asking because he looks as if he’s in pain or about to cry.

      Apparently that’s his morning face.

  115. My husband is an OCD cleaner. Most people think this is a good thing and some are even jealous. When we first moved in together I felt as if he was following me around with windex! Often times I’ll clean up (after dinner, after the baby goes to bed…) and he re-does the job right behind me. I know he is trying to be helpful but it drives me nuts and for a long time it actually hurt my feelings, like I wasn’t clean enough for him. It took a long time to understand that it’s just his way, and has nothing to do with any shortcomings on my part. He also obsessively brings plants home and then waters them with the love of a child … which again is nice but also puts a dent in our Saturdays as is system for watering the plants takes HOURS!

    • gracesface says...

      ahh my husband is the same way with plants! it takes a loooong time (and he has about 25+ at any given time!)…and I hate the dirt/fertilizer that clogs up my sink and garbage disposal and the water that drips everywhere! I did NOT grow up in a plant filled home, plants were for outside!

    • Andrea says...

      My husband also does this. It’s gotten much better lately after we started going to guided meditations. He could never understand the pleasure of taking off a shirt and just leaving it on the couch (AHHH WHYYY) inside-out. He would constantly clean the mirrors and windows and sweep up “dust” from the floors with his hands! Drove me insane I almost started crying once. We’ve worked towards finding a middle-ground, and buying a robotic vacuum really helped, haha.

  116. Vee says...

    Like many before me have said, this topic has alerted me to the fact that I seem to have far more irritating habits than my husband does! I feel like I inherited/acquired a perfectly reasonable number of quirks given that I grew up in a chaotic, slovenly family, but compared to my only child husband and his Stepfordian parents, I truly do seem to leave a trail of dirty dishes and crumpled tissues behind me.

    The worst thing he does is fail to push the big rubber ball he uses as a desk chair back under the desk–because the office is also the dining room, it means I’m forever kicking a giant yoga ball out of the way as I carry hot food or precariously filled beverages to the table!

    • Gemima says...

      Hahaha the yoga ball.

  117. HIS INCESSANT THROAT-CLEARING!!! And his mom does it too, so when she’s visiting I basically need to wear earplugs to keep my sanity.

  118. Faith says...

    Jo, we are marriage twins! My husband does the “toe thing” and I often let our lovingly-prepared dinner get cold while I rush around doing entirely unimportant tasks.

  119. sjm says...

    My husband hangs up his wet towel by somehow balling it up and wedging it into the bathroom hanger. Makeus me crazy… mainly because it seems so much harder than just draping it. When we were in pre-marital counseling with our church the priest suggested thinking about these small daily annoyances as opportunities to show each other small acts of love. I think of this advice every time I fix the dang towel. Every. Single. Time.

    • Alyssa says...

      Loving these comments!
      Lately when I bring up a topic of discussion – it could be our next vacation, our budget, what’s for dinner – he responds, “Yes, we should talk about that.” Um, we are! Right now! I am not making a list of things to talk about at a later date – I am talking to you now!
      His #1 is probably how quickly I become annoyed with him when this happens…

    • Gemima says...

      Alyssa,
      there should definitely be a separate post for conversational pet peeves.

      My Husband tells me about people I’m not familiar with by starting with, You know my mate Jamie from work…? I’ve never met any person named Jamie from any part of our lives.

      Or about his childhood, You know when I was I five, my Parents used to… I wasn’t there when you were five.

      Yet the same man will scream at people on the TV incorrectly saying, You did good… Nooo! You did well… you moron!! Lol.

  120. Esvee says...

    I know that my husband hates my empty coffee cups in the car. There is always at least one. He hates the sound of me clipping my nails so I can only do that when he’s out. I’m sure there’s more (much more) but he is too gracious to mention them.
    His habits that drive me insane:
    He loudly picks at his cuticles when we’re watching something.
    He talks very loudly especially when he gets home from work. I just say “loud” or make a motion with my hand to quiet him down. At dinner the other night he was shouting at me and I did the hand thing, twice, and he didn’t pick up on it. My two year old said “Daddy, you’re talking too loud!” because she actually noticed it was bugging me before he did!
    Dental floss draped over the side of the trash can or toilet, not all the way in, ever. Same thing with his laundry, never all the way in his hamper.
    When he cooks dinner (which is rare) it is always something elaborate that he requests 100 ingredients for, but then is too weird for our kid to eat.
    He always locks the car doors even though it’s in the garage.
    He rubs his forearms in his sleep and it makes the loudest noise!
    He slams his hands down on the table, couch or bed when he’s talking and doesn’t even realize it.
    I’ll just stop there. It’s good to read all the responses, somehow it helps me remember that these are minor things that are not relationship dealbreakers. And I guess I’m sensitive to noise. I’m going to go make a list of all the little things I love now to balance this out ;)

    • Jen says...

      Hahaha my husband is also a loud talker and my two-year-old has also started saying “too loud, daddy!” It cracks me up. He also has the habit of laundry next to the hamper, shoes next to the rack, etc. Wonder if they go hand-in-hand somehow! :)

  121. sjm says...

    My husband hangs up his wet towel by somehow balling it up and wedging it into the bathroom hanger. Makes me crazy… mainly because it seems so much harder than just draping it. When we were in pre-marital counseling with our church the priest suggested thinking about these small daily annoyances as opportunities show each other small acts of love. I think of this advice every time I fix the dang towel. Every. Single. Time.

    • Abbie says...

      I am cracking up! “Balling it up and wedging it” amazing!! Sounds like it would be a lot easier to just hang it.

    • Meaghan says...

      haha yesssss. Mine really neatly folds up a wet towel sometimes and puts it on the rod. I don’t have the heart to tell him it’s gonna smell later because I can tell he think he’s doing me a solid.

  122. whistling. through.teeth
    clanging.spoon.against.bowl
    toe.wrestling. other.toe

    arghhhhhhhhh

    • Erica says...

      omg. my husband clangs his spoon against the damned bowl with every. single. spoonful. of cereal. IT’S LIKE OMG STOP.

    • Katie W says...

      The spoon-tapping-porcelain sound drives me bonkers!! When people do it at the office when stirring their coffee, I’m like, “SURELY THIS WILL END SOME TIME TODAY…” Of course, it only went on for 3 seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

  123. Gen says...

    This set of comments is like a huge community confessional that we all feel better after participating in!

    I love reading it – totally exemplifies how COJ reminds you that you’re not alone and the grass is not greener; in fact it might be blue or some color you’ve never heard of.

    My dear husband calls a jacket a sweater (hilarious/infuriating). Never closes cabinet doors all the way (so I LOVED that bit in the movie Date Night). Various other annoyances of course. However always has dinner waiting when I come home from work, is a fantastically patient teacher with the kids, teaches them all the things that I’m not good at, doesn’t get TOO annoyed at my list of weird stuff I do, and most of all reminds me to invite more fun and relaxation into my life.

    • Elizabeth says...

      Yes! Not understanding the difference between a sweater and a sweatshirt. I get so confused when he’s talking about anything wardrobe-related (“you are not wearing a sweatshirt out to a party!” etc.).

  124. Samantha says...

    My boyfriend always folds his clothes but then leaves them on the floor and never puts them away (why does he even have a dresser?) and also never throws away the dryer sheets. I always find them on the floor (does he think they just vanish on their own?) – but if that’s all I have to put up with, I think I’m pretty lucky :)

  125. Genevieve says...

    I went from living with my boyfriend to living with a best friend (I moved for work and we did long distance for a while) and marvelled at the unique infuriation that my boyfriend”s bad habits caused in me whereas I was totally chill about similar behaviors in my friend. Is it a sense that you have to live with a partner forever so your MUST fix the issues?? Or that you expect your partner to think of you always so if he left something messy it’s because he expected you to clean up after him?? No longer with him but hope I keep the perspective of not taking everything so personally just because your roommate is your partner too.

    • Sadie says...

      Yes! Early in our marriage, I was basically scolding my husband about leaving coffee cups all over the house (often on high shelves, where I wouldn’t find them until they were congealed), and he looked so crestfallen. I stopped and said, “Look, I love you. You’re a really good husband. You’re just being kind of a shitty roommate.” He laughed and since then, we’ve tried to divide our marriage problems from our roommate problems. It helps!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      love that, sadie!

  126. VP says...

    The sheer volume of comments on this post is so endearing and a good reminder that all of us have our quirks! We’re all a little crazy, right?

    My hubs makes this weird noise with his voice whenever he eats, especially if he eats fast. It’s like he’s breathing in through his throat while chewing (safety hazard!) instead of his nose, and it drives me up the wall. Also chews with mouth open at home but not in public. Also leaves dirty clothes on the floor next to the bed/hamper! I do not pick them up or wash them, ha!

    I am pretty grumpy at baseline and I am sure that bothers him. RBF over here like whoah. I probably annoy him when I (lovingly) monitor his food/snack intake.

  127. I’m sitting in the jurors assembly room dreading the moment my name is called, and all of the responses are making me laugh inside!

    OMG, my husband rubs his feet together when he sits on the edge of the bed but before laying down, like he’s rubbing crumbs off his feet. Funny thing is, he NEVER walks barefoot in the house, so what is he rubbing off?
    And, he never quite makes it to the trash can with his trash – particularly his fizzy water bottles. He makes it to the cabinet above the trash bins, but never actually takes that final step to open the door and place said items in the trash bin. Why?
    But, he’s the best doggie dad ever and he makes me laugh every single day, so I can forgive the water bottles left everywhere. The feet rubbing though…it’s like fingernails on the proverbial chalkboard!

  128. My parents had a saying: “Annoying or adorable? Your choice!”

    It’s useful. Especially when Fox gulps water noisily and I want to karate-chop him in the back of the neck.

    • Gen says...

      Love that saying. Fully stealing it.

  129. Rebecca says...

    My husband rubs his feet together AND is always late to the dinner table.
    But wouldn’t trade him for the world.

  130. Court says...

    I am surprised by how many people are annoyed by the feet rubbing thing. I didn’t know it made such an audible noise to others. It’s a self-soothing behavior, I think. And possibly genetic. I do it unconsciously, and my mother does as well. On the being late to dinner thing—my partner does this, he thinks while I’m cooking it’s his opportunity to continue working on whatever, and he never bothers to clear off the dining room table, so I come in with food and he still has his headphones on, and there are papers and glasses all over the table. So…we both decided, I would begin eating without him, and he can join when he’s ready. This counters my family dinner experience growing up. But I too do not want to eat cold food so I’m ok with the new arrangement.

  131. L says...

    Now I can’t stop thinking of things. My husband HATES the way I load the dishwasher. I also drive him crazy by agreeing to do some certain task and then forgetting all about it, repeatedly. I almost never gas up the car He likes to fill up on a particular schedule regardless of how much is left in the tank and is annoyed that I don’t comply. Actually, he likes to set schedules for most chores whereas I tend to just do them as needed (and, usually not until they are desperately needed) — it really grates on his nerves that I can’t get on board with all of his schedules and routines.

    He is a very loud person (knuckle cracking, throat clearing, randomly clapping his hands, slamming cabinet doors…) and I can’t stand it. He also has a tendency to ask me a question and then walk out of the room when I start to answer. He is super wasteful and will throw out containers that aren’t quite empty or turn a faucet on and then just wander away to attend to something else. He hates it if I then turn off the faucet. He buys things in bulk and then stops using said thing, for instance he once bought 20 lbs of oatmeal and then promptly decided he was no longer an oatmeal eater.

  132. My husband bites his nails and sometimes it makes this awful squeaky noise on his teeth and it goes straight through me! I hit his hand away as I see him raising it to his mouth and that stops it for a few minutes before he instinctively raises his hand again… he can’t seem to break this habit!

    • Allison says...

      My husband bites his nails too, and I do the same thing in response as you! Every time I bat his hand away his gives me this annoyed look and sometimes I have to remind him, biting your nails is disgusting! They are covered in bacteria! And why do you want gnaw on your on body?!

    • jones says...

      I bit my nails for 35+ years and finally stopped over a year ago after chipping my tooth slightly b/c of it. The fear of that happening is the only thing that had made me stop. I think I have helped a few people stop by telling the story, so feel free to share.

  133. Christina says...

    I do the toes thing… but my boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind it, so I guess I got lucky??

  134. Verona says...

    My husband of 12 years picks feathers out of pillows and throws them behind the couch (!!!) while watching tv or reading. I usually yell PILLOW….! But: I’m messy — although I hate mess and can’t function well in a messy environment — and he is mostly understanding with me + I love him, sooo I try to be understanding too.

  135. Kara McElroy says...

    Love this. My husband ALWAYS finds something to do after I’ve put hot food on the table – starts cleaning the kitchen, runs to the bathroom, etc. – and it drives me nuts. I either yell at him to sit down or I just start eating. No reason I should suffer :)

  136. Karina says...

    My biggest pet peeve happens when my husband gets into our bed at night. He subsequently removes his socks, rolls them each into a ball and attempts to throw them into our hamper that is across the room. And 99% of the time he misses! So on weekends or after a long day of work when I’m trying to simultaneously clean up and watch my 6 month old son, I often find these sock balls collecting dust in every corner of our bedroom. It drives me MAD!!! But it’s also quite funny and endearing.

    • Gemima says...

      Karina,
      the hamper thing reminded me of UK Comedian Michael McIntyre. On one of his Shows he told of how his Wife gets annoyed with him using the hamper for laundry basketball.

      My Husband and I watched it. He was laughing and I was crying. My Husband finally puts the majority of his own laundry inside his own hamper.

  137. Vanessa says...

    My husband does a toes thing too during TV but it’s not rubbing them together, he picks at them and massages them, if he goes to do anything like touch me or food or our baby after that I have to quickly stop him and ask him to wash his hands. FEET in general are a pet peeve of mine.

    Mine for him is I never replace the toilet paper roll after using the last of it. So rude I know, yet I just can’t bring myself to do it. I say look before you leap when using our restroom :) I even went so far as to put the promise of replacing the roll in my wedding vows, yet 4 years later I still struggle. I’m better but not perfect.

    • Gemima says...

      I enjoyed your very last line xx

  138. Mara says...

    I’ve tried to instill in my husband to “leave no evidence” after he prepares a meal, as he’s someone who always leaves at least one morsel of trash, or a spray of grease, or small pile of powdered sugar, or smear of peanut butter on the cabinet, or lid from a Blue Apron container, or crumbs that I crunch on with my bare feet on the kitchen floor…always something! He never completes the cooking process 100% when he cooks for himself (to me this includes full clean-up). He tends to also leave around trash like ripped open envelopes, opened FedEx boxes, product packaging, junk mail, etc. A while back I started seriously asking him, “Are you saving this for your scrapbook?” as I hold up a piece of trash. Mind you, he doesn’t keep a scrapbook!! I’m always laughing on the inside when I ask this, especially when he replies “Nope!” and goes to throw it away.

    • Ada says...

      My Husband does this too & now it includes smears on doors, drawers, light switches & door handles. Everything from PB sandwiches to Tuna Salad to a glass of drink.

      The only positive I see in this, at least he’s not Serial Killer material.

  139. meryl pogatchnik says...

    not my partner, BUT MY DAD DOES THE TOES THING!! omg it drives me nuts lol

  140. Claire says...

    My husband clears his throat for attention and refuses to admit it! His dad was a high profile lawyer who was soft spoken but I witnessed him do that throat clearing things plenty of times and I know that’s where he got it from AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY and even worse – My 4 year old has started doing it which absolutely cracks my husband up.

  141. lori says...

    Every night my husband sets out his workout clothes (shirt, shorts, underwear and socks) somewhere in the living room or kitchen. Everyday the pile is gone except a pair of underwear. Sometimes the clean ones, sometimes the dirty ones. The underwear are left in the place of the pile wherever he feels like leaving the pile that day. This could be the fireplace (yes seriously) or the piano, my rebounder, the island of the kitchen or maybe the entry table. AHHHHH marriage.

    • Aimee says...

      My husband will come into the house and the first thing he does is take off his pants. And drape them over the barstool in the kitchen. And it makes me incalculably MENTAL. I have a separate issue with a grown man who spends 95% of his time around the house in his underpants, but that aside, discarded clothes DO NOT BELONG slung around the kitchen! GAH!!

  142. L says...

    Our toaster and coffee grinder share an electric socket. We have to unplug one to plug in the other. Since my husband eats toast every day but doesn’t drink coffee, he wants the toaster always left plugged in and gets really annoyed if I leave the grinder plugged in instead. I get really annoyed by his annoyance. I mean, come on, it takes all of two seconds to switch the plugs around. His insistence on leaving certain ugly things on permanent, prominent display drives me nuts. He likes to have easy access to practical items that I would prefer to keep in a cabinet or otherwise out of sight: a can of bug repellant by the back door, the cat brush on the mantelpiece, the latex gloves he wears for dishwashing on the kitchen windowsill, etc. It infuriates me. I finally convinced him that it was not acceptable to store toenail clippers on the coffee table. He’s not a messy person. I’m actually the messier one. He would consider all of these things not left out, but put away in what he has determined are their “homes.” We just disagree on where those homes should be. I drive him crazy because I never return the car keys to the hook by the door and I have a haphazard pile of newspapers and mail on the dining table that never seems to get any smaller.

    • Ashley says...

      May I suggest an outlet splitter? They turn one socket into two, three, four…

    • L says...

      @Ashley — I think I actually have one of those sitting around in a tool box somewhere. Facepalm.

  143. The sound he makes when eating ripe fruit. That slurping…ohh it’s so good so I’m going to make the slurp sound linger..kind of bites. I have to leave the room. It’s a small annoyance for the kindest, most generous soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing my life with. Slurp away…just do it far away from me.

  144. My husband does the toes thing too…and I also yell “toes!”. But mostly I just can’t stop laughing at the thought of living with Thomas Shelby…..bahahahaha!

  145. Jayne says...

    My husband does the toes thing too! He does it every night as he’s falling asleep, and it drive me bananas. The funny thing is, his dad, his brother, and our nieces and nephews do it too! As much as it drives us crazy, my SIL and I think this is hilarious. The apples don’t fall far from the trees….

  146. LeighTX says...

    He makes little moaning noises when he brushes his teeth. It drives me so bananas I can’t even be in the same room; it’s like listening to a porn film for dentists.

    I think his pet peeve about me is the way I leave little stacks of paper and notes to myself everywhere. He sees them as clutter, I see them as Important Reminders. But we’ve been married 26 years now so I guess if those are the worst things I can think of, we’re doing okay!

    • Nancey says...

      dying laughing!

    • Katie W says...

      Oh man, this one made me laugh SO hard!! “It’s like listening to a porn film for dentists.”

    • Sunnh says...

      Porn film for dentists! Amazing ahah!

    • Heather says...

      This made me laugh until I cried!!

    • Colleen says...

      I think the teeth brushing comment deserves to be in the Top 5. Too funny. Mine brushes his teeth for only 30 seconds >:( . I have counted multiple times. He hates brushing his teeth. I want to scream at him to keep brushing. Ugh.

  147. Vaish says...

    I love all of these comments – so funny! My husband slurps ALL liquids… hot, cold or room temp. I DO NOT understand it haha. He is also very serious about his oral health and brushes his teeth FOREVER… at night he’ll be sitting IN BED (why?) brushing his teeth while scrolling through FB/Instagram and I can hear the toothpaste swishing around in his mouth – it makes me cringe even as I’m writing it LOL. But then who can complain about minty sweet breath when we kiss goodnight.
    I have very thick and long hair that sheds EVERYWHERE. We’ve been together five years and he’ll still come home surprised when he finds one of my hairs on his sock or sweater haha. I also have a habit of balling up my hair in the shower and sticking it to the shower wall (so it doesn’t clog the drain). I tend to forget to throw it out after my shower and I know it drives him nuts, but he’ll lovingly do it for me.

    • Alexia says...

      I am guilty of the toothbrush in bed plus a book! I typically read before I brush my teeth but if the book is too good I continue to read while brushing :)

  148. Hannah says...

    My husband uses 2-3 paper towels for the smallest mess.
    He can’t find anything in the fridge. Ever.
    When he misplaces his _______ (keys, wallet, iPhone, shoes, whatever), it’s always, “Where is my ____?” in a tone as if I personally moved said item.

    And the king of them all: he opens the dishwasher in mid-cycle to add a dirty cup or plate.

    Why, God, why?!?!

    • L says...

      I think we are married to the same man.

    • Gen says...

      OMG I do both of these things.

    • Gen says...

      By which I mean the second two things. What lunatic would waste paper towels?

      Oh my gosh I LOVE how random people’s quirks are.

    • Ileana says...

      lol my husband does the first three things. I finally got him Tile for his keys, wallet, etc. because I was DONE answering that question. I highly recommend! https://www.thetileapp.com/en-us/

    • Heather says...

      LOL! My husband loses all of those things as well. Then he’ll borrow my keys and lose those (they always end up in a pocket or something). He got a Tile for Christmas, too and he promptly lost the entire box! I found them, though.

    • Sadie says...

      Also a member of the “my husband lost a Tile” club.

  149. sarah ahj says...

    This post and subsequent comments are just another reason why I love this blog, so. much. I was lying bed crying with laughter (and subsequently annoying my husband) for a good hour, last night. Onto our petty annoyances- my #1: his inability to plan/pack (including himself, the children, or the car) in advance of trips (whether just for the day or extended vacations) followed by his complete desire to control all things the morning of; his – my inability to hang out new hand towels/dish towels when I remove to wash, and my stringent rules regarding hand washing vs. dishwasher-approved kitchen items (truthfully, the same could be said for the dryer). We’re all full of such fun quirks.

  150. Debra c says...

    Rubbing his feet together! Looking elsewhere when talking to me. When dinner is ready and hot, he dilly rallies picking our condiments or making his drinks, then sits down and says the food is cold.

    • Jayme says...

      Wait! Is the phrase “dilly rallie?” I always thought it was dilly dally. Help! Ha