Wedding Question: What Would You Do Differently?

Marry somebody else.

Well, considering I’m 100lbs lighter than on my wedding day two years ago I’d definitely re-do the photos!

Not a thing. We had a simple ceremony at a friend’s house on the beach, followed by a low country boil with my husband’ home brews. I wore a jcrew dress I’d bought off of eBay. I bought flowers from Walmart the day before, and our mothers made a few different cakes. The only big expense was the photographer. Our friends still talk about it!

A bigger cake! It was delicious…so much so, there was none in our get away picnic the caterer gave us as we left for our bed and breakfast!

I’d hire a professional photographer instead of a family member whose photos I hadn’t seen. I know this really goes against tradition but I hated not being able to talk to my fiancé. It would’ve made the day much less stressful if we had some time together.

Absolutely nothing! We got married in secret with only 2 guests (my sister and our best friend) and didn’t even tell our parents. We called them on the way to the airport before we flew on what they thought was just a holiday, but was actually our honeymoon. It was the most relaxed, stress-free day, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

My lip color is the only thing I’d change. It makes me angry just talking about it! I didn’t think about it ahead of time so I just asked my mom for lipstick when we got to the venue! Ugh! All the pictures I hate my lip color! Too pink I wanted red!

I’m only a year and a half post wedding and right now I wouldn’t change anything except hire a videographer. We had an intimate ceremony where guests got up and said a few words and I wish I could hear their well wishes again. And being able to hear by dad’s toast. There are so many emotions that day that it is hard to remember the smaller details.

I had an AWESOME wedding, but it’s fun to think about what I should have changed.

I wish I’d asked both my parents to walk me down the aisle, instead of just my Dad.

I wish I’d cut out some off the excess tulle off from around my beautiful lace dress, and added a little leather belt.

I wish I’d told the groomsmen to wear their own grey pants and white shirts and shoes, and gifted them matching vests and ties, instead of making them rent tuxes, and I wish I’d let my husband wear suspenders like he’d wanted! :(

I wish I’d spent a little more time making the rounds and visiting with the guests, many of whom my parents had invited – people who’ve supported me all my life and had traveled far to be there.

I wish we’d stuck around afterwards when a bunch of our friends jumped in the lake – it was so hot, I might have joined them.

But for every thing I would change, there are ten things we did right. The venue was dreamy, the DJ and dancing were killer, the food was amazing, our photographers were perfect, and multiple people told us afterwards it was the most fun (funnest) wedding they’d ever attended. Dancing with my new husband is still one of my most cherished memories to this day.

I would change a few things about my wedding. First, my dress. I bought my dress when I thought we would be having a religious ceremony (I was Mormon at the time) so it had short sleeves and was not really my style. I would go back and get a sleeveless dress. I would also try to work a videographer into our budget. I have a really bad memory and know it won’t be long before I forget most of the day. Finally, I would have opted to have an outdoor wedding instead. I wanted to but my husband was nervous about the weather (in August? Okay husband.) so we got married in an old train station. It was really beautiful, but they double booked and we had to share the day with a Zombie Prom.

One of the best pieces of advice I received about wedding planning was to plan for who you are now, not the wedding your six year old self thought of. For us, that (ironically) meant dancing and our wedding plans all formed from that. My husband found us dancing lessons when we first started dating, so we wanted to show that. I got a tea length dress so it would twirl as we danced and a sort of retro theme developed from there. The other really good advice I got was to treat it like a stage manager would. Make a binder that has all the info about the day of (vendors’ name/numbers etc) and to pass it off to someone else (like a mom or friend) the day before the wedding. You don’t have to worry about managing anything; you get to enjoy your day.

The only two things I would change was to include more silly/fun dances that people who aren’t dancers would get up and dance to (like the Cupid shuffle or YMCA. Even kids and grandpas would do those). Second,- I’d be more assertive and clear with what I wanted from the photographers. My father is a photographer and his 3 friends (also professionals) photographed our wedding. We got great shots, but it was too many cooks. In all the group shots people are all looking at different cameras. Also- we didn’t get hardly any photos of just me and my husband.

Your wedding looks beautiful and so long as you married the right one, the rest is all secondary!

My husband and I got married last summer in Louveciennes, a small town outside of Paris. It was absolutely perfect! (Photos here: http://shessobright.com/2017/01/03/our-wedding-on-snippet-ink/)

We decided VERY early on that we didn’t care what anyone else wanted and would go all in on the things that made us happy. That meant ditching a traditional wedding cake for decorative pastries and limiting the guest list to only people we were close with. We also only had a maid of honor and best man, rather than a large wedding party. It was true to our relationship and worked for us.

To be honest, the only thing I would change, would have been to figure out how to take some of the stress off my husband, as he planned almost all of the wedding. The pressure really got to him, so if I could have made it a happier experience for him, that would have made it better.

Oh and not having a tooth fall out two days before the wedding while I was in another country would have been great!

We got married almost five years ago and our engagement spanned 2 years while I earned a master’s degree and completed my first year of teaching high school English. It was hectic! I would redo my dress and hair, and not feel so afraid that I’d miss something if I didn’t go the traditional route. Also, I would’ve included the bouquet toss because that’s how my parents met (skipped it because I was too concerned singles would be offended or wouldn’t participate — lame!)
My favorite part of the whole thing was the rehearsal dinner, which was just us and our parents, siblings, and closest friends on the patio of my favorite Italian restaurant!

Truthfully, not a thing. We had a destination wedding in Punta Cana… we loved it so much, that I have now shifted my travel agency business to focus mostly on destination weddings. It was a great time and a wonderful memory maker for our family.

Maybe I would wear different shoes. Oh and not jump in the pool :)

Oh I love this! So many interesting comments! Even though I got married young, I’m glad I picked a timeless dress so that I never cringe when I look at pictures. I’m not sure that short dress and chunky heel would be so much different then something I would wear to a wedding as a guest? To each their own. Just like music. I cannot imagine a wedding without dancing. Besides food, music and dancing is the thing that brings people together. I’m just glad I got to get married before Pinterest and Instagram.

I love this post – and the comments. I’m only recently married, and yet there are things I tell other friend brides-to-be all the time of what I would have done differently and what I would have definitely done again. I would have sat next to my mom for the dinner. I would have asked my best friend (who I had only known for a year when I got engaged) to be a bridesmaid like I wanted to (but thought we didn’t know each other long enough). And I probably would have bought a long sleeve wedding dress.

But two things I wouldn’t have changed for the world – the 20 minutes I spent with my husband alone between the ceremony and the reception. (We had a mini first dance there to practice, had a glass of champagne and just laughed!) And my cheese wedding cake. OMG I still dream of it. x

Married 21 years, yay!

1. Better photographer
2. Make a video recording
3. Buy, not make, veil

All else just perfect!

My gosh, I love this post. And I love Lynn’s comment that you posted on your weekend round-up. We were married less than a year ago, and it’s one of those things that if you look at the photos… of course it looks perfect.

I didn’t want a wedding, and my fiance did, so we “compromised” on a throwing an inclusive vacation for our friends and family in Greece. What I didn’t realize was… this would be like throwing 5 weddings back to back: organizing activities and quelling my rough family dynamics every day.

I did have a sweet moment the day before the wedding: we were on a boat ride, and I broke down crying (secretly, I thought) behind my sunglasses. The stranger across from me leaned over and whispered, “You’re getting married this week, aren’t you?” I sheepishly nodded back, and she said, “I know what you’re feeling right now, but it’s going to be the best day of your life.” Well, she was wrong; the stress did not pass – ha! BUT that moment with this wonderful, sweet stranger was one of the highlights.

And it’s so comforting to read from you and others that there are things you’d change – and that’s okay! – or that it wasn’t the best day of Lynn’s life either – and that’s okay too :)

This past summer my husband and I had a 25th vow renewal ceremony at our newly built home in Vermont. It was magical! Although I loved so many things about our “first” wedding, the vow renewal was simply amazing. The best part was the ceremony and renewing our vows in front of our three young adult children. Having them witness our continuing love for one another and then share toasts with our guests was the highlight of the evening. Secondly, I love all our photographs so much better than our wedding ones – I actually think we look more attractive at this mature stage in our lives…settled, serene, comfortable and confident with who we are and where we are in life. I can’t recommend the vow renewal highly enough!

We had a big country wedding in a marquee on my parents’ farm in Australia – best things were the man I married, and my dress, which was white and covered in big pink roses, it was heaven. The day before the wedding, all my mum’s friends arrived with huge car loads of flowers from their own country gardens, and made the most gorgeous vases and arrangements for the marquee – it was such a happy time with flowers everywhere and dear family friends working together to make it so beautiful. This is a bit of a tradition in the country area where we live and I now love going to help ‘do the flowers’ for my cousins and friends weddings.

I started photographing weddings a couple years after we got married, and I’ve often thought about this!

The only thing I would change was that I’d have had my hair done professionally. And that’s it. The rest was exactly what we wanted! :)

My wedding is coming up in June! We both come from extremely large families, so our wedding is going to be a big affair at a church with the reception at a ritzy country club in town. (Pleasing to our mothers!) Although I secretly wish I were heading to the courthouse in a dress similar to the one you posted and meeting our close friends and family at an intimate dinner after! Sounds so personal and sweet.:)

25 years ago, my husband and I got married in the middle of a 6 month backpacking trip through Europe. We decided on England, just so that we would understand what was being said. We ended up getting married in one of the most sought after registry offices in London, “Kensington and Chelsea”, because the youth hostel that we were staying at happened to be in that district when we registered.
I wore a dark green lace dress and a large green hat, with a distressed brown leather coat that I bought at a second hand store in London because it was December and I was worried it would be cold. My husband had a white puffy sleeved shirt ( he kind of looked a bit piratey) and a brown leather moroccan vest that I bought him for Valentine’s day shortly after we met.
We invited two “new” friends (strangers really) to be our witnesses and sign for us and we took all our own wedding photos with a tripod and a long cord with an air squeezing thing at the end.
After a month of staying at our new friends’ flat in London (while they went back to Canada for Christmas, we ran out of money and so we decided to spend the remaining months of our trip working as volunteers on a kibbutz in Israel.
I would not change a thing.
(I have drawn live cartoon portraits at weddings for the past 30 years and have never been to a wedding that I loved more than ours.)

I got married at 25, so my tastes have definitely changed quite a bit. If I could have a do-over, I’d have less people in my bridal party (I had EIGHT bridesmaids and am only friends with 3 of them now). I also would have bought the dress I really wanted. It was really pricey, but I still think about it ten years later. Life is short. If you can afford it, buy the dress.

Our wedding was incredibly causal with Buffet BBQ. At first I really wished I had paid for a photographer but in hindsight I never do anything with photos anyway. I have some really lovely images from our wedding but nothing professional and that’s enough. It just took me three years of whining “oh I wish we had paid a photographer.” Everything else I loved and I’m content with.