12 Questions To Ask Your Significant Other at Dinner

A few weeks before our wedding, our officiant asked my husband and me to describe each other in three words, with a one- or two-sentence explanation about each word. Then, he read them out loud at the wedding as a way of helping our guests see each of us through the other’s eyes. We loved it! (I remember I used “patient” and “fun” for Robert…)

Also, what did you wear that you thought was so cool as a teenager…can we talk about my RHINESTONE EYELINER I wore to prom!? My friend individually glued rhinestones onto my eyelids like liner, to match the rhinestones on my bubble gum pink, strapless dress and the rhinestones in between each one of the hair twists in my updo (if you guessed this was 2001, you guessed RIGHT!)

first off, I love the way you talk about your marriage and encourage your readers to strengthen their relationships & family unit Joanna!!… thank you. I know life gets tough, unpredictable & messy, but sometimes we are lucky enough to have our husband and kids (and their ‘others’ and kids!) be THE ones we get to stay close to in life’s ups and downs. Taking the time (even with small things like this) to keep our relationship fresh and listen to that person we chose 10 years ago (or 37 yrs ago in my case!) makes so much difference!! Never underestimate giving each other time. (I’m gonna try these because let’s face it, our tastes & memories change!!)

Love these questions – I’ll definitely be trying them out with my boyfriend (we’ve only been together for 6 months so it’s always fun to find out new things about him!).

We met through a dating app and he’d told me he can be a bit shy/quiet at first so I was instantly worried that we’d be sat in silence on our first date as I also feel that way when I’m nervous. I was chatting to my friend before the date and had mentioned that I was worried about awkward silences so needed to prep a question or two, so we jokingly decided on one I could ask.

The date was going well and luckily there were no awkward silences, but I just HAD to ask him the question my friend and I had joked about. So here was the question…. “Which would you rather have – penis fingers or big penis legs?” Obviously I was totally worried how he’d react to that but he burst out laughing and it’s something we’ve joked about since. These sorts of questions are silly but they’re fun and the discussions that lead from it are definitely interesting haha!

(He chose the penis legs by the way!)

This is so lovely! Conversation is so important. I absolutely loathe seeing couples out for dinner and sitting in silence, faces lit up by the screens of their phones. Funny thing is my parents (in their 60s) are the worst culprits! I’m 31.

I would add to the list… “if you could go back in time and tell your (insert the age of your partner when the two of you met) year old self ONE thing… what would you say?”

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and one of the funniest and most fun date conversations we had was when he randomly said “Well out of all your friends (name) is who I would marry” We are in a very secure relationship so after his clarification that this is obviously when I didn’t exist and my initial shock laughter that he had thought of this, I started questioning his choice – really? why not (another friend)? Or maybe (another friend) would be your best match. Then I started thinking who would I fake marry? And he had thoughts on this too. It was all nonsexual- like who could I live with and whose habits would annoy me, it was so fun and hilarious to see his takes on compatibility – we still joke about that conversation.

It’s also really fun to ask your partner questions about yourself (rather than him/herself). Like I asked my husband what he thought my passion was, and he said he sees me get fired up about social injustices in the world. Which is so true, but I didn’t realize that about myself until he said it!

love this! So easy to get in a rutt about talking about work and kids, will try this on our date night this week!

I knew I was going to marry my husband after four weeks of dating. I kept it to myself so I wouldn’t weird him out. We were 19 and I don’t know how I knew, but I just knew. Fourteen years later, I choose him everyday.

A million times yes on that third baby! I never thought we’d go for number three, living in New York and each of us having a full-time job. But after our second one started losing his baby features, we started feeling a pang for one more baby. What would their personality be like? How would a new kid fit in our already crazy family?

As an academic, I turned to research, and asked each friend and colleague with three kids whether we should go for a third. Many of them began by saying: “don’t do it.” The reasons were mostly that it was always chaos and that at ant time one of them was guaranteed to be upset. But when pressing some more, nobody regretted it. “Are you crazy?,” was the response.

What really sealed the deal was a long conversation with an older friend, who by all measures had led a very happy life. He confessed that his biggest regret in life was not having had…a *fourth*. So we did it. He went for number three. And it’s chaos, and nuts, and sometimes one of them is upset (ok, many times). But it is also the most delightful experience I have ever had, and my family–crazy and imperfect as it is, is what I am most proud of. I still pinch myself every day. Even when I hear whining and fights.

So, if you feel a pang…go for it!

My husband said he knew I was the one when, on our second date, after unlocking my door and letting me into the car on a frigid December night, I reached over and unlocked his side for him as he walked around the car. He said he loved the kindness of the gesture. We have been married 26 years and we are still kind to each other and its one of the many glues (humor, shared values, a child, respect, passion and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope…oops, make that love of monty python) that holds us together.

A friend once said that one of the secrets (to their beautiful long term marriage), was that they could say anything they wanted to each other, as long as they had a smile on their face as they said it. And how hard it is to seriously scold someone while you are smiling. It usually just ended in laughter (which is a good way to end discussions with the person rooting for you most).

The hand on the shoulder.. too cute!

My husband and I met on our first day of 7th grade in a English class. We’ve been married for 7 years and are both 27 years old. Once when he was retelling the story of that day, he mentioned he remembered the lace outline on my Abercrombie skirt. I swear I knew he was the one! xo oh, love!

My husband and I do something similar on road trips. I call it “fun mental games,” which is not very clever, but it is fun- I promise.

We take turns asking about hypothetical scenarios, like, “if you could compose the perfect meal, from all your favorite restaurants, what would it be?” (I.e, best salad, best app, best entree, best dessert). Or, “if you could compose the perfect day, what would it be?” (You can wake up in one city, have breakfast in another, spend the morning at the beach somewhere else, etc). Ours tend to revolve around meals or prior trips we have taken together, but hey, the sky (or your imagination) is the limit! “Fun mental games” get us excited for future adventures, while reminding us of all the joyful things we have gotten to do together over the years (especially important for us as we are in the thick of parenting a baby and toddler).

Fun! My husband and I are celebrating our 11th anniversary this week so thank you for some dinner topic conversations that don’t involve our kids or crazy family members!

When I was first dating now my now fiance, he always wanted to get dinner together and I usually made up some excuse not to because I was too nervous we would run out of things to talk about. He’s way more introverted than I am and way more okay with silence – something I’ve come to really appreciate. But in the early days it was rough and I 100% googled “good questions for first dates” and would have loved a list like this.

He’s a musician and has since written a song about our beginnings that hints at my nerves and how it could actually comforting to sit in silence. And now I’m hoping to secretly incorporate those lyrics into my vows. Shhhh! don’t tell!

How about some that are bit less PG ;) These days, even if we are in a happy monogamous relationship, my husband and I have enjoyed talking about what we think of open mariages (+ poly-amorous relationships, swinging clubs or with friends etc), how we think our sex life will evolve with time, fantasies that we have but would never want to actually try (or are craving to!), past dating experiences (after being married for a while, the ex topic is no longer taboo), how we think we would behave in the new dating scene (we met way before dating apps or speed dating events), etc. Sets a fun romantic mood!

Cheese is not a vice! Seriously, it contains calcium, doesn’t it?!

All question my creepy ex never like me to ask him. He always said “why ? are you writing a book?”. ugh!

Why would he re-do your honeymoon? You went to Italy and Greece!!!

Urgh, the shoulder detail made me want to cry. How lovely that he remembers that. I also struggle to talk about something other than the children (SAHM with apparently no other interests or topics for conversation when put under pressure) I hate that I bore him and I hate that he finds our babies (and by extension, my entire day to day existence) boring ☹️☹️☹️

“But I knew it was on and we’d get married when you got up to go to the bathroom at the restaurant and you ran your hand across my shoulder.”

My heart <3

Oh my god. Hypercolor lol.

Great timing! My husband is picking me up from work for lunch today and it’ll be great to talk about something other than work :)