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An infinite quandary. By the lovely Grace Farris.
P.S. A fall makeover and cozy pants.
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For those of you who find Levi’s too confining and EF too loose, take a look at Democracy jeans. They have some stretch, are not too low, and even have some embroidered styles for when you need something more “dressy.”
I’m in my 30s so I can’t bring myself back to the low-waisted baggies of my youth. HOWEVER a soft high-rise wide-leg pair of jeans seems to hit all the right notes for me these days. My faves are vintage levis or something like this perfect pair from imogene + willie https://www.mercari.com/us/item/m59856523848/
Help! I can’t wear high waist jeans because I am short waisted and they go up to far on my torso. I love the look of them with the wide pant legs. Any suggestions? P.S. I also have long legs.
I really love Levi Wedgie straight jeans for this reason. They don’t go up too high, but aren’t low either. They usually hit me right at or just slightly above my belly button. The ones that go up to my rib cage are too high for me.
Have you looked into mid-rise options at all? It seems like the modern mid rise is still way higher than when it was last really popular, so I wonder if it could be a decent option. Abercrombie has some in different lengths.
I’ve stuck by my high rise vintage levi’s for the last 15 years and still love them. Once you find your size it’s easier to scan for pairs that will fit. Vintage jeans forever!
However, during a recent trip to the mall with a friend I tried on these wide leg Zara jeans for fun and love them!
https://www.zara.com/us/en/z1975-high-rise-wide-leg-jeans-p06147193.html?v1=296694069&v2=2291204
People keep stopping me to ask where they’re from and it’s been fun to mix it up.
If money was no object, I dream of the California Wide in Cowboy Blue from Jesse Kamm https://jessekamm.world/shop/225darkbluedenim-jhjye-5cxr7
I’m 65. Wore straight leg Levi’s during my teen years. Faded ! We all wanted faded jeans. We had to wear them to get them that way though. Nothing came “washed”. We had to “break in” that stiff denim ! But it was all so much fun and they lasted forever ! Went through a shorter phase of high waisted wide legged jeans. That was around 1977. Now it’s PJs or crepe like capris. Comfort all the way ! It all seems like yesterday. Time flies, kids. Have fun !
I love this comment :)
A little bit related question… does anyone have a recommendation for a quality leather belt? One that would fit in a pair of pants (i.e. not too wide). Any particular brands to look at?
Try J. Crew! Their belts are surprisingly high quality for the price.
I got a good one from Thursday Boot Company! The “Classic” stitched on all edges.
Madewell’s belts are classic and hold up really well. I bought one in brown and one in black years ago and still have not replaced them.
beggarspouchleather.com
Handmade in NH!
Here to ditto Madewell’s belt. I’ve had a brown leather one since 2019. I love it. It’s held up great and I feel like it’s a classic.
I have had Nisolo’s “Noemi” belt for about 3 years. It’s still in great condition, is really versatile and is a good width for pants.
best belts on planet earth. he will do custom sizes etc too. 10000% best belts I have ever owned, will last a lifetime.
I like a pair of straight dark blue jeans with a sweater for errands, and straight black jeans with a sweater for a casual lunch out. I don’t like washed out jeans in public, only for gardening or housework. Otherwise I wear black leggings or black pants with sweaters or tunics for just about anything else including around the house or going to dinner. This is what works for me and makes me feel appropriate.
Appropriate for what? The 1950s?! Teddi, wear those washed out jeans out on the town. Let your hair down. Fashion is fun!
Shhhh, but it’s high-end K-fashion…basically high waist, a wide but super straight leg, worn longer. It makes cropped sweaters make sense, but also big baggy sweaters look great too.
We are in a multiple choice jeans era. As a 40 year old who teaches cool twenty year olds, I can tell you that anything other than skinny jeans are cool now. The youth mainly go for super baggy low rise, but I feel like if you’re grown your best bet is high rise but baggy. Can be cropped or long. Obviously you can wear whatever the hell you want, but it can be fun to try to play with cool as you age
I’m 68 and my favorite jeans right now are Citizen of Humanity Horseshoe jeans. Really fun jeans!!!
Love this advice!! 34 year old here.
One of my midlife style icons is Katharine Hepburn so I’ve been rocking high waisted wide leg jeans that are fitted but not tight through the waist and hip and all manner of soft knit tops, also fitted but not tight. And I take things to the tailor now, it’s amazing what a well placed dart can do.
which brand??? i am on the hunt for the perfect pair!
Baby jeggings are so cute!
As an extremely short woman with a teen’s build, I’d say whatever jeans don’t require extensive alterations are a win for me! My kingdom for a bellbottom, though.
Mom jeans for the win!
Answer: Wear whatever makes you feel your best and to hell with the trends. Create your own .
Darn right! Whichever jeans feel good and make me happy!
Yes!
We are all adults.
We wear what we want.
We are the cool kids.
Seriously! And why I just give up and wear leggings
The answer, for those wondering, is sculptural, barrel-leg jeans with drape! Like these: https://bsidesjeans.com/collections/lasso-jean/products/ps24-relaxed-lasso-jean-blue-rinse
These weirdly remind me of Gumby and Pokey! Hahaha
Haha, I came to see if anyone said this. I agree, Madi!
I haven’t worn jeans in years. For a long time it was all dresses with black tights. Since WFH and having two kids it’s either leggings with a sweater or t-shirt or leggings under a dress if I’m actually “getting dressed”. The very idea of jeans makes me feel constricted now. Comfort forever please.
Oh same here! I haven’t worn my jeans in a long time. Yesterday I tried on a pair and turned to my husband and announced, “I don’t think I can do these anymore. They feel scratchy and constricted now.” After having worn linen, leggings and cotton, I just want to wear stylish but comfy, soft clothing now. Fashion be damned.
Can someone just tell me the answer?? Haha – I have three year old twins and a full time job and I just don’t have time to try to decipher jean trends.
Related, I do miss how skinny jeans worked in my casual office. I don’t feel like I can wear my baggy/ankle jeans so I’m left with fewer options for more casual days. Anyone else feeling this and what are you wearing instead?
I also fully endorse people just wearing whatever they want/feel comfortable with, but for me personally I’m entering middle age and trying to avoid feeling frumpy/dated while also not overly trendy and wearing the same things as everyone else. Echoing this wish for the elusive “timeless” jean in case anyone has found something that ticks that box :)
Same!! My office is fairly casual and I’m just sticking with my uniform — dark skinny jearns, t-shirt, blazer and sneakers. It’s definitely not on trend, but I also can’t figure out a more updated look that works at the office and I feel good in. So it is what it is! (I’m 37 with a 4 and 1 year old) I did get a couple pairs of the Colette pant from Anthropologie and they look good with a sweater or button up and sneakers
I feel like all I have to do to make my girlfriend/straight leg/looser jeans casual office wear is just reverse the formula from skinny jeans. So if the pants are the looser flowy casual item, I pair them with a more fitted and dressy top. My fave formula is looser jeans with a fitted short sleeve sweater, but that also works in my climate, so your mileage may vary! But I don’t feel less dressy in a nice sweater with loose jeans than I do in skinny jeans and a looser dressy top! I also add a woven belt, boots or flats, and a necklace, and the loose jeans look at home any day!
Go to a store you love (for example, I love Madewell and recommend them because they’re very good quality, plus they have a great sale right now) and try on every style. Have an associate or friend take a look at all angles so they can help you find the correct size for your body + how they’ll stretch. Then, make a note of your size. If they’re on the trendy side and you’re uncertain, look on poshmark or another resale platform for a similar pair in the size you selected, and buy them there! OR, if you love them, just buy what you love and there you go, new jeans. The try on all of the styles strategy works at every store – Old Navy, Gap, H&M, Target… everywhere… has all of the on trend styles. Right now, wide leg is very in style – and I will go to my grave in high waisted pants. I love them! I also love barrel leg (everlane has good ones). I’m not a great fan of crazy flairs, but I have a flattering pair of what are referred to as kick flairs that I love when I want a tighter fit in the thigh. I wear all kinds of tops with my wide legged jeans. If it is a boxy top, I’ll either do a crop or tuck it in. Body suits are fun, especially when you put on an oversized sweater or open button up on top of it. I’ll be 41 next week and I don’t care for skinny jeans any more. I feel like a sausage. Good luck!
I found a pair of jeans that will be my uniform with oversized tucked shirts and great slightly stacked loafers. They are JCrew, 9” vintage slim straight jeans in a dark wash for winter. Lightweight, comfortable and I think elegant AND simple!
I am loving high waisted wide leg jeans these days. They feel sophisticated and cool to me, and feel a bit more formal than other types. I got a pair from Old Navy that happen to be perfect for me. https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=410350002&vid=3
I also LOVE the Abercrombie high waisted 90s straight jeans. They are incredibly flattering. I have them in two colors, medium and dark. (Heads up that the medium is more like light to me, and the dark is kind of medium-dark)
https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/us/p/90s-ultra-high-rise-straight-jeans-45784828
Mia HUGE YES TO THE COLETTE JEANS FROM ANTHRO! I do NOT buy expensive clothes (just not in a phase of life where I can afford them, plus have 3 little kids who are pretty hard on my clothes) but the Colette jeans are worth ev-er-y PENNY. I have them in jean and linen. So many compliments from middle aged to teenage women! (I’m 31, so smack in the middle and feeling elated that anthro has given me this comfortable, quality, sturdy, gorgeous, trendy but not trying too hard look. BUY THEM)
So, so true. I can’t figure out jeans these days. What looks good on my body? What’s in style? How can I avoid throwing out half my wardrobe to make this work?
I used to wear jeans every day, jeans and a sweater and boots was probably my go to uniform. But after having my daughter three years ago, my waist is softer and wider than my hips/butt. Jeans just don’t work at all. If they fit my waist the hips are horribly wide. If they fit my hips, they are super uncomfortable around my waist when I sit. I feel betrayed by my old friends! It is surprisingly devastating!
I feel this.
Must have since high school, cut off jeans with thread shaggy hems. They are part of my soul’s uniform.
And, a pair of straight leg that hems can be rolled into cuffs.
This is my Roman Empire
Ha ha ha ha ha. Me too, Jess!! Me too!
Maternity jeans= ♾️ infinity and beyond
Ha ha ha ha yes.
18 years ago, shortly after having baby #4, I bought a pair of Levi’s. They fit comfortably and made me feel ‘put together’. I’ve kept wearing those jeans for the last 18 years. They are not trendy, they are not flattering, and I do not look good in them. But I love them SO MUCH because they are still incredibly comfortable, and they have so many memories tied up in them. Camping trips with my kids, shopping at Costco, walking through rain storms, visiting zoos… they are my mom life. Durable, casual, and unapologetic.
This is maybe my favorite comment ever.. “I do not look good in them” – I’ve officially decided I aspire to only be comfortable in my clothes and this really solidifies it for me.
Oh, to still have my 501’s from high school…Gen X forever.
Oh I LOVE this! Unapologetic! Practical! Lovable! Say it louder for the people in the back!
I have entered the Eileen Fisher pants phase of my life. I may never wear jeans again.
Omg Suz yes. Love Eileen Fisher. I also bought a pair of black pants at Chico’s about a year ago (I was out shopping with my mom, and she convinced me to try some on) and they are somehow magic pants! Beyond comfortable. There may be no looking back for me!
I have entered the Eileen Fisher phase of my life is the most relatable thing I have ever seen on the internet- thank you and YES!!!
Love the brand, but I’m wondering if they service petites. (Disclosure: all that my budget currently affords in thrifted EF.) I recently spotted a like-new, butter soft thrifted tee of theirs for $4.99 at a Value Village. It was extra small, and still absolutely massive on my true-extra-small frame. Is this the shared secret of true Eileen Fisher women? Do I just lean into the extreme ease? Will I stop feeling like I’m playing dressup?
Omg yes. I was lucky enough to accidentally work in some boutiques that carried EF as a young woman and have worn some of those pieces ever since, and added new ones. Their Renew project is also wonderful.
Eileen Fisher does tend to run large, and yes they do petites very well although not in everything.
The ‘in’ jeans are the ones that I find the most comfortable and make me happy to pull on in the morning. I could care less what the cool kids are wearing.
I feel like high waisted mom jeans (I’ve got a big butt and a smaller waist) are the only jeans that look good on me, so that is what I’m sticking with! The skinnies era was tough for me, I felt like a sausage stuffed in a too-small casing, ha!
I completely identify with this! I spent the 00s squeezing my butt into tiny jeans and just thought my buttcrack showing every time
I sat down was my cross to bear. No, past me, it was the jeans, not your body! Curse those low rise jeans of my youth. High waisted forever! I absolutely love the looser straight style now and can confidently say I will NEVER go back to low waist or super tight skinny— my legs and butt must breathe!
Preach, sister! I never want to deal with whale tail again. I always felt like I looked like an ice cream cone in skinnies. I was (and still am if I see anything similar) a Gap Long and Lean girl.
This is me…except post baby no 3 I can’t stand the highwaisted denim on my…short waisted doughy pouch. My kingdom…or at least 40 bucks…for a pair of midrise bootcut jeans….!!!
Hahahah so true! I have a strict clothing budget that I’ve been saving for Black Friday and I’m trying to figure out which *exact* pair of jeans and *exact* pair of boots to get. Oh, the time I have spent researching! I was expressing my analysis paralysis to my husband who, in his attempt to be helpful, suggested I get “timeless jeans”. Haaaaaaaaa Bless him and his innocent ignorance.
I have in my head a pair of timeless jeans and I’ve literally never seen them advertised or in real life. They’re sturdy but soft denim, a worn but not distressed medium wash, with a relaxed straight leg (maybe with a cute little cuff!). They’re worn to do yard work with a flannel shirt or fisherman’s sweater at my cabin which I do not own.
Bless his heart!
Check out decade studio! I have a pair from them and love them!
Try Madewell’s Stovepipe jeans. Not skinny, not wide leg but somewhere in between.
I think it depends what timeless means to you! I have a pair of black Closed pedal pushers that are my go to. They’re straight, they fit so well, and I always have them tucked into my boots, so I don’t mind the bit of ankle showing. I also have a skinny pair of jeans from them that fit brilliantly. They’re the best denim I’ve ever owned! Pricey but I buy mine second-hand online. Other good ones are AYR and Paige, but both better for skinnies. My friend loves the Perfect Vintage Jeans from Madewell, and they’re a nice, straighter cut, but I will say I adored Madewell jeans 10 years ago, and have some from that time in good condition, but everything I’ve bought from them in the last 3-4 years has lasted less than a year, so not worth it for me anymore.
For boots, everyone where I live has these, but I can highly recommend Blundstone Chelsea boots. I bought mine in 2020 so I could go for impromptu hikes if I needed to extend my lockdown walks (I live in an area with easy hiking access from the city) and I walk 5-6 miles a day, where them everyday, and I just had to resole them for the first time. They still look amazing too. I have the ones with more of a heel, a bit different than the flat Chelseas everyone has, and I love them. Otherwise, Repetto boots are my go to city boots, mine have lasted a decade, but they are pricey. They do not do Black Friday but they will go on sale in January when the French sale is on!
Hope that helps with either decision!
For boots, everyone where I live has these, but I can highly recommend Blundstone Chelsea boots. I bought mine in 2020 so I could go for impromptu hikes if I needed to extend my lockdown walks (I live in an area with easy hiking access from the city) and I walk 5-6 miles a day, where them everyday, and I just had to resole them for the first time. They still look amazing too. I have the ones with more of a heel, a bit different than the flat Chelseas everyone has, and I love them. Otherwise, Repetto boots are my go to city boots, mine have lasted a decade, but they are pricey. They do not do Black Friday but they will go on sale in January when the French sale is on!
At the end of the day, the skinnies you’ll pry out of my cold, dead hands are really just XXXXXXXXXXXXL baby jeggings, no?
Yes 100%
hahahaha. they’ll be pried from my cold, dead hands too. Skinny jeans forever and ever. I’ve tried all the other styles and I just can’t. So I won’t! I’ll confidently wear my skinnies for life. AKA XXXXXXXL baby jeggings!
I was wondering about this. Jeggings to me look just like skinny jeans. Is there an actual technical difference? Just curious. (I just wear what I want).
@Anon In my experience, the difference between skinny jeans and jeggings is the composition of the fabric. Skinnies generally have some stretch, but probably under 10% elastane so the fit still relies heavily on the cut. Jeggings have a ton of stretch/elastane in the fabric so truly fit more like leggings – just squeeze you everywhere. I agree they often look the same but personally I don’t like the feel of jeggings (they feel like a sausage casing to me) but don’t mind a properly fitted skinny jean (which to me just feel like a close fitting pant).
I remember going through magazines as a teenager trying to figure this stuff out. I’m 65. I am having fun experimenting. Skinny,wide leg,straight,and colored denim. It’s all good. Have fun with your clothes. I spent too much time trying to stay on trend. Not anymore. Have a great weekend everybody!!
Love this Robin. Trying to lean into this mindset in my thirties :)
@Robin. Appreciate you. Sooo accurate.
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