“Does The Universe End,” And Other Casual Questions from a Five-Year-Old

Not sure you’ll see this since this post is from 2020 and apparently a repost from 2018. I was having a little bit of a rough morning today – angry at my mother, disappointed I didn’t win or even place a contest I’d entered, grumpy that I have a four hour Zoom meeting today. Anyway, I remembered that this is a place that always brings me a little joy. Anything Anton related particularly makes me giggle. I came across this post and literally teared up from sheer joy at his questions. I don’t have kids but I remember thinking the moon followed me too. And now that I think of it, why we can’t see our eyes is a phenomenal question. Thank you Anton for just being you, for always shining your light, and thank you Jo for sharing some of his light with us. I needed it today.

Before an answer is given, maybe start with … that’s an interesting thought. Tell me what you think about…. Then followed by let’s go look it up.

We are definitely in the throes of tough questions at our house. My five year old daughter’s most recent ones are always asked at bedtime. So gods die, like the ones in Ancient Egypt—when will our God die? Is our star slowly dying? What will happen when it does? I asked her what she thought, and she said that everything goes extinct some day, even stars and people. Such big thoughts from little ones!

This made me laugh, because I read somewhere recently that small children ask between 200-300 questions a day! And with five small kids at home I realised this means I field between 1000-1500 questions every day…(and sometimes it definitely feels like it!!)

In general we quickly veer from really Big Questions about life/death/fairness/equality to equally Big Questions like which is the best Octonauts episode??

Also as my working background is in research and ethics I have a vested interest in these kinds of questions – any of the physical-world-around-us questions I like to fob off on my sciencey husband, but the meaty “is this all a dream?” Questions are what my postgraduate degrees prepared me for :) …and especially as a household without god/religion as the answer, I feel like these questions have added complexity – https://themumandthemom.com/2018/05/10/on-values-in-a-non-religious-household/

Love these throwback posts! xx

Circa 1992, in philosophy class, when the professor got to the end of his explanation of being, the end of the universe, asking what’s left, from the back of the room, I told him…New Jersey.

I graduated high school in New Jersey. I am sure I’m right. :)

that photo is a keeper. I would blow it up and frame it, just precious.

Recently my son has been into the song, “old town road” and often sings it. “I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road I’m gonna ride ’til I can’t no more…” One day, he’s just sitting in a quiet car and says, “mom, why do we have to ride ’til we can’t no more?” I about started laughing but realized he was dead serious!

We have been talking about all that is happening with the BLM protests and concerns about police. I’m not always sure how much of it sticks with my 5 year old daughter, but very early yesterday morning, after she crawled into bed with me and we were snuggling comfortably, she whispered to me, “Mom, did the police officers who shot the man get arrested?” I was pretty awake after that.

Oh my goodness, the idea of where they sky or universe ends used to fill me with such existential dread when I was little! My mom still talks about how often I’d wake her up at 3am with that very question. I’m in my 40’s now and it STILL freaks me out—so glad my three kiddos have yet to ponder it! So far, its just been a litany of “what if’s.”

Important PSA- when kids ask questions about unsolved mysteries, please be sure to affirm what is in fact still unsolved and mysterious! Even if you talk about what scientists have figured out so far, don’t let them leave the conversation thinking other people have already finished exploring something they’re curious about. We need that curiosity, and the motivation it inspires!
That’s the idea of this awesome article, written by a scientist:
https://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2019/03/27/science-teachers-be-honest-about-what-science.html

I *love* the fourth question theory. So true.

My youngest daughter turns five in a couple of weeks. The other morning she confided, “Mom, when I’m not four anymore, I promise to love you five-ever.”

Her six-year-old sister was recently baffled by a small bowl of kosher salt. “Hey, look! Pretzel seeds!”

Why am I growing now and you grew before me and really old people came before you? Why did I come now?

Yesterday from my 4 year old. The ‘fourth question’ is right in there from the outset!

Anton just normalized a memory from my own childhood! I distinctly remember being about the same age, sitting in a recliner while my dad napped on a couch nearby, and wondering to myself how it’s possible for the universe to be infinite. And then I started crying because, what an overwhelming thought for a small person! But I was also embarrassed for crying, thankfully my dad didn’t wake up until after I regained my composure because I couldn’t imagine how I would begin to explain why I was upset!

One of my faves was after a particularly exasperating bedtime experience, my then 3 year old comes down for the 18th time with one more question:

Do you know the muffin man?
My reply: Yes, he lives on Mulberry lane.

My son, 3.5, was crying about a minor disappointment and taking it hard. Then he looked at me and asked, “when do grownups cry”? Looking for connection and affirmation because he sometimes feels self conscious about being out of control.. It started quite a few interesting, moving conversations.

But Why? Podcast is fantastic

After a long silence, while I laid in the bed in the dark with my three year old as he was going to sleep he asked “Mom, do giraffes have hands?”

The other day while in a drive-thru waiting, with the Muppets Christmas Carol movie playing on the DVD player…minutes after I hear one of the characters say that someone was dead…and in recent weeks trying to explain to my 4 year old son why we wear a poppy and how important it is, he asks: “Mama, if we get killed, what happens to our house?”…I honestly didn’t know in the moment how to give the right answer to that but it just broke my heart to think that at this age this could even be a thought or a fear.

Last night was better, while laying in bed he says “I heard a man on the radio, and he said ‘taking care of biscuits everyday, we be taking care of biscuits everyday!’ ahhh that’s better, I thought to myself.

I never assume I’ll have children (it just hasn’t happened and dent look like it will, which I’m ok with) but reading your stories and experiences with Anton and Toby makes me think how lovely all those little moments of Motherhood are :) They seem quite magical from this side of the story. x

The other day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me sweetly and said, “Mama, when you get old and die, can I have your phone?”

I love these all so much!

Also- probably not the answer to give a curious kindergartener buuuuuut…. you can dig up dead bodies, if you’re an archaeologist! Which is something I’d never considered till reading Anton’s question.

My 8 y/o this week, “what does a jacket look like in a black hole?”