Have a Lovely Weekend.

“One Art” is one of my absolute favorite poems! I memorized it in college and come back to it again and again… I sometimes recite it to myself loudly while looking for my lost keys! It helps. :) (Love that you are doing this with your mom)

Ahhh, the Provence house! Swoon.

Thanks for the roundup, so many goodies as always.

Ohhhh myyyyyy. The Provence house. The dining table, the windows, the views!! I’ve thought about Sharon and Paul often since you did the outfits article. Love her style. What a truly lovely couple.

I hadn’t put much thought into tipping (I just do 20% on the total or when my kids were young and made a big mess I would add more) but when I went to the article in which this article was in response to and saw the HUGE disparity in wages from state to state I now feel like I shouldn’t tip as much in my home city.

Servers in some states are only making $2.13/hr in wages whereas servers in my city are required to be paid $12/hr in wages. Why am I tipping as much here in San Diego, CA as I am in Hoboken, NJ?

Excited about the Dr Ruth documentary except… I’m a college professor and my first name is Ruth. I’ve really been BANKING on the fact that 20-year-olds have no idea that “Dr Ruth” is a cultural reference. That’s what my undergraduate research students call me, without knowing it would make people chuckle. Well, there goes my anonymity!

Love the poem you linked to! I was actually looking it up earlier this week to read aloud to my 5-month-old son. (I figure the more different words he hears, the better, right?) The poetry collection we’re currently reading aloud is Lorna Crozier’s The Blue Hour of the Day. Not all the poems are super appropriate to read to a child (think, um, the sex lives of vegetables!) but at this age, he doesn’t know! :)

Re: the tipping issue – there are a few locally owned restaurants in my hometown where tipping has been eliminated entirely. The owners pay all of their employees a living wage and include some health benefits, as well. It ends up costing about the same to eat out – menu prices are all a little higher, but no tip at the end. It’s amazing, and, in a college town, has given a lot of people a higher quality of life while supporting themselves through school. It’s so encouraging to see this shift in the food industry (although of course we still have a long way to go!)

Oh, man. Having my comment featured was a thrill. My now 8 yo was born via surrogate after many years of struggle, so to see our special little moment highlighted makes my heart skip a beat. If only I could tell back-then-me that everything was going to be not just ok but beyond my wildest dreams. Thanks for brightening my day, COJ team!

I found that tipping article angry and entitled. And I find the tipping culture here exhausting. Twenty percent for good service is acceptable but tipping 20% regardless of service and on taxes seems unreasonable. Traveling abroad, no matter the country, I almost always experience superior service than I receive in the US where we are expected to tip now for the smallest things.

I’ve always wondered what the expected tip is in numerous scenarios: ordering a baked good at a counter, a haircut, picking up takeout etc. Even my tailor recently had an option for tipping and I wasn’t sure if this was customary.

Oh man, tipping is the pits. I’m from Australia where there’s a decent minimum wage and employers have to pay their staff enough to live on. Tipping isn’t customarily done here and I hope it never is because it’s SO an unfair system for employees. People deserve to have a certain salary that they can depend on. I recently traveled to parts of Europe where tipping is customary and it was so awkward (some only accept cash – what if you don’t have cash on you? how do you even give it to them – leave it on the table or hand it to them? weird!) and confusing (every country had a different system). We were so relieved to come home to Aus and not have to think about it. Only, I realized that Uber Eats Australia has darn well introduced a tipping option here….sigh! How about you just pay your staff fairly Uber? That’d be nice huh! Sorry for the rant but as you can see I feel passionately about this topic.

As someone living in the UK, it’s hard not to notice when Fleabag is on tv because everyone is talking about it! I wasn’t crazy about Season 1, but Season 2 blew me away – especially episodes 4 and 6! I’ve watched it all twice already. I’m envious of all those abroad who soon get to see it for the first time. Andrew Scott is perfection, but really, it’s all so, so good.

Love the reader comments as well! They can be so touching, light-hearted and useful!

My take on the tipping is the wages should just be calculated into the cost of the food! Also, the article was obnoxious. What a douche. The restaurant should be responsible for paying their employees a proper wage.
I like how Japan does service, you press a button when you need something and they come by. None of this mouth full of food or mid intense conversation and the waiter comes by interrupting, “So, how’s everything here?! Can I getcha anything?!”

Oh wow, Fleabag! Just finished the second series and it made me cackle and broke my heart, all at once.

If you live in the US, please tip. It is expected. My husband has been in the serving industry for over a decade now, and he works his ass off to make sure you have a good night out with your loved ones – when I would much rather have him home with me and our son.

Hi Joanna!

I have never been more jealous of living in NY then when I read you were going to see Fleabag!! Oh my oh my..HOW WAS IT?

She is such a genius and I want to consume all her work.

Hello! Loved the Reductress piece. It’s comforting that I’m not alone in spending a lot of time being concerned about others’ perceptions. I’ve been told I do it to the point where anxiety medication would help. I wonder if Cup of Jo would be a good platform for people to share experiences on medication – not advice just experience-sharing. Just a thought!

I have been memorizing poetry all my (very long) life. It’s a great resource when I have to hang around with nothing to read or, in the past, when I was running. You’ll find that the effort of memorizing gives you insight into what the poet was doing. A tip: The easiest are those that rhyme and have a regular meter. That’s why we all know so many nursery rhymes.

hey lovelies! just a quick heads up about the photo credit: it’s by Linda Lomelino aka “Call me Cupcake” – but correctly linked! (all her recipes are simply amazing!)

The tipping piece was spot-on! Of course it applies to U.S. tipping culture, where tips are part of making a living. It may not be applicable in countries where tips are not requisite, but if you are in the U.S. the best line in the article was “If you can’t afford to tip 20% at the restaurant you’re eating at, you can’t afford to eat at that restaurant.” Tipping isn’t complicated. It’s part of the price.

Have fun at Fleabag! I went earlier in the week and loved it! If you’re looking for drinks and a bite before or after the show Lupe’s is around he corner from theater. It’s a great little Mexican joint.

I’ve been buying and selling antique and vintage goods for years, both in a store and online https://www.etsy.com/shop/LadyEM2?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
Years ago I would pass up old portrait paintings, because no one wanted them. Now I crave finding them! Sharon’s home is a great example of how cool a collection of them can be.
Thanks to Cup of Jo, I’m a huge Fleabag fan. I also love knowing I can always count on this blog to keep me informed when a new season of a great show will start up again. Really, you guys are my personal tv entertainment guide!

I have a very wonderful memory of my mother memorizing poetry with me as a child. One was Emily Dickinson. The bee is not afraid of me I know the butterfly…….
Also, Lord Byron. The size of a man can be measured by what makes him angry. My mother created a book entitled, “Things to Remenber Always”. Now I’m 38 with two children and hope to carry the tradition and I still have the book.

Wow, that article about tipping was so agressive! I think it’s because I’m not from the US (I live in The Netherlands): here, we tip if the service was really great and usually it’s a couple euros only. But if you don’t tip it’s totally fine too! If I go out for lunch, I don’t tip quite often and no one thinks anything of it. The servers get paid a good salary and tips are just extras. Personally, I think this system’s way better than the one in the US. I’m curious, other internationals, what’s tipping like in your country?

Here’s a wonderful poem to memorize…

Keeping Things Whole
BY MARK STRAND

In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.

When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body’s been.

We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.

My sister and I memorized poems together, and snippets of books… but she’s dead now and no one else knows them the way we did them.

I still love them, though.