Motherhood

Toby and Anton in Conversation

Toby and Anton in Conversation

Have your kids (or kids you know) said anything funny recently? Seven-year-old Toby and four-year-old Anton have been coming out with surprising things, and I love hearing what the world looks like to them. Here are a few conversations we’ve had…

Anton, eating a dripping popsicle: “Mommy, the sun keeps taking bites! The sun is eating the whole thing!”

Anton and I were lying down at bedtime, and my arms were wrapped around him. Half asleep, he whispered, “I wish I had your arm as a pet. I could cuddle it. And if I was hungry, it would say, ‘Here you go,’ and I would say, ‘Thanks!'”

Car-loving Toby, after learning about city planning at school: “Anton, will you move to suburbia with me? Every house has a driveway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

A text from our sitter: “I found your driver’s license in Toby’s backpack in case you’re wondering where it is. He said he borrowed it because he wanted to buy a car and drive.”

Anton recently got a bomber jacket, and I asked him if it came in grown-up sizes. “No, Mommy,” he laughed. “Just me-sized.”

Anton, while scooting down the sidewalk: “It’s fun to be a kid.”
Me: “Oh, yeah? What’s fun about it?”
Anton: “You get to play and you have a mom.”
Me: “What’s a mom?”
Anton: “A lady who protects you.”

Toby has been writing more now that he’s older, and it has been sweet to hear his thoughts that way, too. For example, his birthday card for Alex: “Hi Dad, I love you. Because you give me chocolate milk in California and you give me dessert when my mom says no. I like you just the way you are. Love, Toby.”

Whenever we drive somewhere, the boys make a playlist for the car. I’m actually really into their choices! Anton’s two favorite songs right now are Take On Me and My Love Open the Door. :)

And a note from an older brother to a younger brother, haha.

Toby and Anton in Conversation

What little things are the kids in your life saying these days? What are they into? I’d love to hear… xoxo

P.S. More conversations with kids, taking your little one on a date, and 5 things I’ve learned about sibling rivalry.

  1. Jeanean says...

    My little boy often said “well, tumsimes Mom…” sometimes and tumsimes were perfectly interchangeable at our house.

    Also, my grandson while observing people on a corner waiting for the light to change…”neanee, what are those humans doing?” He referred to people as humans for quite a while…

  2. Jackie says...

    My 5 year old daughter has been asking for a sibling for.ev.er. We have been struggling with secondary infertility and losses for the last couple of years. In September, the day before I was going to take a pregnancy test, she says, “Mommy, I think there’s a baby in your belly!” Me (bewildered): “Oh really? What makes you think that?” She says, “Because I ordered one from God!” Cue big, fat, sopping tears…
    And lo, and behold, that little lady was right! I’m 14 weeks today :)

    • Chantal says...

      Congratulations Jackie!! (a bit late…)

  3. Mary says...

    My cousin’s daughter, when she gets really, really mad, has to say no in the most emphatic way possible – like, in no way would you ever be able to interpret it as yes. So she engineered a phrase with the most “no” possible, and now declares, at full volume, “NEVER CAN’T!!!” when she wants to say extra, extra no. As in:

    “Vivian, it’s time to put your shoes on.”
    “NEVER CAN’T!!!!”

    Needless to say, we all started saying “never can’t,” when we really, REALLY mean no :)

  4. justine says...

    always light up when i see these posts! i think they are my favorite! and i need to do a better job of capturing my two girls conversations.

  5. Julia says...

    My 11 month old says: “uh oh” whenever she “accidentally” drops something
    My 3 year old said: “Mom, how did you feel about today?” asking me for no apparent reason and we haven’t done much of anything at this point.

  6. Lily says...

    My almost 3 year old said this tonight: “I don’t drink breasts milk anymore. Now I drink cup milk.”

    Another good one: He has noticed the physical differences between my husband and I when we are naked and has asked about it. I explained how boys are girls are different using the proper terms. It has been many months since that initial conversation but just the other day he brought it up again. He said “Mama, boys and girls are different.” I said, “How so?” and he said “Boys have penises and girls have iguanas”. `

  7. Ashley says...

    I love these! I remember when my son was just learning to talk and would get similar sounding words confused with one another. My favorite is when I was making breakfast and told him, “I’m making you some toast!”. He looked really worried and said, “Toes? Eat toes?” and hiked his little feet up in his high chair to hold tightly onto his, ha.

  8. tomomi says...

    I love how kind and close your kids are to each other. Them in conversation is probably one of my favorite ones to visit time to time on Cup of Jo.

  9. Maria Castro-Castillo says...

    Sooo cuteeee

  10. Karin says...

    I love reading these! A few from my 7 yr old –
    “Just because I did a fart doesn’t mean I’m not still cute.”
    “Why is everyone so critical?”
    And my current favourite: “You know what the best thing Donald Trump could say that I would love? ‘I quit.’”

  11. Woah! I just finished reading all the 320 comments (as of writing)! I love COJ’s comment section <3

  12. Courtenay says...

    My husband finally bought the jean jacket he’s been lusting over for years and tried it on for us to see. Our three-year-old daughter’s response was completely concerned and slightly confused: “it looks like pants”.

    • Bwahahahahaha!!!! My daughter just looked at me concerned because I’m laughing so hard! Loooove this!

  13. Morgan says...

    My daughter who is three has started saying Dammit! with adult-like inflection, sometimes under her breath, etc. While I secretly find it hilarious, I did let her know that dammit isn’t nice to say and (since she clearly learned it from me as my husband likes to remind me) that we should both really, really try not to say dammit and that we could help each other by reminding the other when it happened to slip out. She looked at me a moment then said, “no thank you. I like it. I like say dammit.” When I asked her why she shrugged and said “it makes me feel happy.”

  14. Nicole A. says...

    Kids say the best things, don’t they? I just love these ‘in conversation’ posts. In fact, I’m an English major, and for my college fiction writing class two years ago, I wrote a short story where the characters were based on your family (since I feel like I sort of ‘know you all’ so well), and I used some of Toby’s funny quotes in the dialogue! Haha.

  15. Stella says...

    I keep a log in my phone of things my kids say over the year and that way, when I’m making our annual year-in-review photo book, I can add the text to the pictures if it happened during an event. Or, if it is a phrase they say all the time, I make a page dedicated to the “things heard in the house.” Every time I flip back through the book it helps me hear it just the way they said it.

  16. I don’t know if I should say this out loud, but while standing in the bathroom with me, you know as kids do, my 4 year old asked me why I have hair on my “lady parts”. I said well it happens when you get older to both men and women and some people remove it and some people leave it. She was thoughtful for a moment and asked, “do you work with other ladies?”, to which I responded yes, and then she asked “do they have hair on their lady parts?” I said “you know, I don’t know. I never asked.” She said “can you ask them? Do the boys Daddy works with have hair on their boy parts?”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, that is so so cute!

    • In a similar vein, some months ago I was getting ready for work in the bathroom. I was working bakery hours, so it was about 3:45 AM and I was totally naked after showering. My then 3 year old came in to go potty, and was just sleepily chatting with me while I was doing my hair, and all of a sudden he pauses and says, “Mama, why you got a butt right there?” I died.

  17. TjP says...

    I adore these posts. My kids are older now (10&13) and while they don’t say all the cute things so much, this one got me: my husband and I just got back from NYC (he ran the marathon!) and he took a picture of himself in front of the Trump Towers giving a ‘very special finger salute’. When my 10 year sees the photo, he side-eyes me and comments ‘are you okay with this behavior, Mom?’ ?

  18. Leslie says...

    The youngest in my family, 9-year old Guido, was taking a shower in my bathroom – he saw the “Milk-Bath” body wash I use and while he was lathering it on he would say “I’m lactose intolerant”.

  19. Helen says...

    Me: What are your favorite things to do?
    6 yo niece: Talking and watching iPad!

  20. Helen says...

    Me: “What’s a mom?”
    Anton: “A lady who protects you.”

    T_T so sweet!!!

  21. nina says...

    my 4 year old: Grandma, what planet do you live on
    Grandma: Earth
    4 year old: ME TOO!!!

    4 year old: Mommy, if you fart on a seal it will die
    (no idea where the hell that one came from)

    4 year old: Mommy, when I’m much bigger and I’m a mommy and you’re not my mommy anymore, can you be my baby?

  22. Rachel says...

    My 2.5 year old has clearly absorbed all our affirmation and positivity around potty training. After a #2, when I come in for my toilet paper duties, he says (every time!): “It’s sooo stinky, huh Mom? But, that’s okay. I’m so proud of you, Mommy. You doin’ a great job with the toilet paper.”

    • Becca Lynn says...

      omg that is so adorable

  23. Nicole K. says...

    My mom has a hilarious video of me at age 4 playing with my 2-year-old brother, and I say “Philippe, let’s play Christmas! You be Verge and I’ll be Mary.”

    • Congee says...

      Oh my gosh, that is so funny!

  24. Tracy M. says...

    My 4-year-old son is going through a power struggle phase, and after declining to make him a second breakfast because he didn’t want the banana pancakes I made, he whispered in such a sweet voice, “Sorry Mom, but I don’t like you.” It hurt but it was also a big step to apologize for his strong feelings!

  25. I have two from my 4 year old:
    1. We saw Smokey the Bear in the Halloween Parade in our town.
    I said “Chi, there is Smokey the Bear, do you know what he does?”
    Her educated guess: “He eats honey and smokes?”
    [insert tears of laughter and side stitches]

    2. I was in the car having a heated conversation with my husband, thinking that Chi was in her own world, not listening.. of course, she was listening, heard me say “that’s F#%$ing stupid” and she says “MOM! We don’t say stupid”.

    Kids are everything.

  26. Rachel says...

    I take my 3.5 year old daughter to and from school by subway, and she is always excited to see which trains are coming. She’s starting to learn her numbers and letters and she now gets very excited when she can identify the passing trains–“Look Mama, I see the A train!” In addition to fielding questions about where the trains are headed and which trains exist and which don’t (“Is there a zero train? Is there a V train?”), I’ve started playing a game with her where we give each passing train a name based on it’s letter (“It’s the (A) Apple train!” or “It’s the (C) Cookie train!”) She laughs hysterically each time, and it’s become a sweet routine for the two of us. The other day a B train pulled into the station and as I gathered our things to get on, my daughter stood up and shouted “It’s the Boobs train! We’re all going to ride the Boobs train!” LOL!!!

    • Sadie says...

      Hahaha, my four-year-old son also does this with the Underground lines in London– he gets very excited to identify the different lines by their colours. Once, when he was falling asleep, he recited all the stops on our most-used line, in order, and then, in perfect imitation of the Tube Lady, announced, “This is a Victoria Line train to Brixton.”

  27. Kalli says...

    My 4-year-old recently asked to share my water because she was “low-drated”. Kid logic :)

    • Laura says...

      smart :)

  28. “I am not cleaning my room and you are an evil muskrat!!” Tantrums influenced by Beatrix Potter make me feel like I’m not completely failing. ;)

  29. Linda says...

    12 year son on the way to shower wearing pj pants: don’t anybody “pants” me I’m going commando….because that’s what mom always does? haha

  30. Char says...

    My 19 month old likes to say “I’ll sit”, but because she’s a garbled 19 month old it comes out sounding like “oh sh*t”, and it’s very hard for us not to laugh at her. She even uses it in context when she wants to use the potty, and points inside it.

  31. We actually just started a similar series on our blog- I love how kids say whatever comes to mind and the connections they make between things! My favorite: our daughter woke up and ran out to find her dad in the living room, exclaiming, “DADDY! I just woke up SO HARD!”??

    http://www.asamotherco.com

  32. Julie says...

    My four year old randomly said to me “Mom, when I’m a baby again, I’ll sleep in a crib and fit into my little baby clothes again, okay?”

    Sigh, if only we could go back in time.

  33. Kaitlin says...

    I’m curious to hear about what Toby and Anton call you (and their friend’s parents for that matter) and how that’s changed over the years. I remember a while back, you were ‘mama’ and now it seems to be ‘mommy’. I find that so interesting (especially as I’ve switch as an adult in what I call my own mother.)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      such an interesting question, kaitlin! i’m so curious to hear from others, too. my kids used to call me mama and now call me mommy. now and again they call me mom, which kind of breaks my heart, haha. i want to be mommy forever :)

    • Soshana says...

      This is a very interesting question. Today I’m 25, and I only see my parents three to four times a year. My mom (who’s French) visited me two weeks ago; we went shopping in a mall and everytime I would call her “Maman !”, she wouldn’t turn around. I would say “Maman !” once, twice, and then end up calling her name “Liliane !” so that she finally recognizes herself and turns to me. :)

  34. Rachel says...

    My 6 yr old says to our neighbor after school, “ see you next door!” Lol, I thought it was so clever!

  35. A classic my son said once said to me was ‘if I give you this shiny button will you clean the house when I’m at school? I want it spickless when I get home!” It’s so funny that you should write this post because I have always tried to write down these priceless quotes over the years but I know I have lost a few that I’ve quickly scribbled onto scraps of paper so I decided to create a special keepsake journal to put them all in and I’ve just this week launched it on my Etsy site if anyone is interested? It’s called ‘out of the mouths of babes’. You can see it here https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/568387089/parents-journal-new-baby-gift-gift-for-a

  36. Laura says...

    My husband and I were telling our almost 3-year old that if she was a really good listener at bedtime then maybe she could have a special treat in the morning. Her reply:
    “Is it a lollipop? Think about it.”

  37. kristina says...

    My daughter 4,5 recently brought most of her stuffed toys in the livingroom and exclaimed:
    We are homeless! Somebody stole our house.
    I said: Oh!
    Gerda: Yes. But cops are already searching for it. On groundfloor in England.
    Me: Aha. Hope they’ll find it soon. How did anybody managed to steal the house?
    Gerda: You know, thiefs have shovels, they digg it out of the ground and put it on a car. They have such a big car for stealing houses.
    Me: And what are they doing with it now?
    Gerda: Living in it of course! Thief mommy, thief kids and a thief baby too with such a really tiny shovel.
    (after the “really tiny shovel” I was not able to ask anything more…)

    • Laura C. says...

      You just resisted too much. I wouldn’t have been able to keep that conversation for that long without laughing at the first “shovel”. You and Gerda are the best, Kristina!

    • Gina Dwyer says...

      I think Gerda needs to start writing some stories ;)

  38. Diana McNeill says...

    My four and a half year old nephew still doesn’t understand the question, “What’s up?” I call him every day and say, “Hey, Forrest! What’s up?” and he always says, “Good. You?” LOL every time.

  39. Anna says...

    Our love, 2y old Aleksej (read as alexei) speaks like a big one haha he started at 16 months repeating each word he heard, and the last 3 months he became 100% talkative with such expressions, we laugh and can not believe what is he capable of….today he said “i will not let you do it…not even close” – I opened my mouth and stardtedt laughing. he completly understands all words “in between” as I say, and remembers each one from us and then he uses them in different situations correctly in perfect sentences. haha He wakes at 6am and the first he says is: good morning, wake up mommy/daddy, let me see how beautiful is outside…and then he climb over us to look out from the window and he does expressions like: uuuiiii, aaahhh, look at the trees, i see … Before he falls asleep he must make summary of everything he did the same day, he describes every moment he was involved with,with so much emotion, Im impressed, really ☺ i write down in my diary for him all his special, funny sayings. I adore our little humans how they see, describe their reality, it is amazing,cute and makes our daily lives so full of joy.

    • CJ says...

      I love this! Our 2 year old does the “in between” things too and it cracks me up. One that I love, “maybe, maybe not” is his response to everything. I realized after paying more attention to my own “in between statements” that I say that at least once a day! What a fun age,

    • I love your love and wonder at your son. Thank you for sharing.

    • Ana says...

      so lovely to read both of your comments – thanks for sharing them! I really do miss those kind of conversations with my girl friends (mamas). This kind of topic warms my heart and yes to wonder…wonder…it gives my life more depth :)

  40. gb says...

    My almost 4 yr old grandson is nonverbal (he does say about five words consistently). My daughter talks about the words the speech and behavioral therapist work with him on to add to his vocabulary. The other night my daughter texted me a picture of a list of words that my 7 yr old grandson wrote down that the 4 yr old had said that day, including a happy face at the end of the list.

    • Mum says...

      This post made me cry. I have a 6 and half year old girl and a boy who just turned 4 and is still non-verbal. I wonder if and when they’ll ever have conversations. It breaks my heart.

  41. Talor says...

    I don’t know if this qualifies as funny but its funny to me and my family… my almost two year old son is very into questions and greetings lately. Currently its looking up at us and saying, “how are you?” and also shaking hands and saying, “nice to meet you”. The best one is when I’m in the bathroom and I’ve (gasp!) closed the door for privacy and he knocks on the door and says, “mommy, what you doing?”… what do you think I’m doing kid…. I love it

  42. Heather says...

    No children yet. My hilarious 8 year old cousin told me I was “shubby” recently, but that it was okay. I was still nice.

  43. Hahaha, I love these posts so much!

  44. Olivia says...

    My nephew had his fourth birthday party at a gymnastics center. We must have asked him 20 times to remind us what kind of birthday party he was having – “gym-NAS-kets.” Always very emphatically pronouncing the middle syllable to his foolish aunt and uncle who just couldn’t remember. Lol

  45. Chelsea says...

    Before the time change, my children were rarely out past sunset due to their 7:00 bedtimes. When we would drive home in the dark from a party or other evening event, my 3 year old daughter would joyfully comment on the moon and stars. When we would arrive home, she would get out of the car, look up at the sky, and say, “The moon followed us home!”

    • Ha! My 2.5-year-old son did a variation on this theme: On our walk, we’d been talking about the full moon, until it dipped behind a brownstone. “Da moon had go away, ” he said… until it appeared again, and he gave a little cry, pointing up. “Mommy, look! Dat da OTHER moon!”

  46. Ella says...

    I love the Toby and Anton comments! I teach 7 year olds and yesterday we were writing about what life might be like in 30 years. “When I am 37 years old I will drink wine. I will drive a Toyota, and have all of my grown up teeth.”

    • Shannon says...

      this made me laugh! so sweet to see how kids view adulthood!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg YES! love that little one. :)

    • Molly, your dad writes beautifully. I’m enjoying his blog very much. Sending love.

  47. Jessica says...

    My two toddlers are REALLY into cars and construction vehicles, of course. They have a toy asphalt roller, or, as my 2.5 year old daughter calls it, an “ass roller” :D

  48. Laura C. says...

    Yesterday evening, laying on the bed trying to make my 4 y old sleep.
    Me: “do you want me to sing you ‘Twinkle twinkle’? ”
    Her: *nods*
    Me: *starts whispering the song*
    Her: *putting a plastic cow against my mouth*
    “this is the microphone”
    I COULDN’T

  49. Jenna says...

    My nephew is a very sweet and quiet kid. My husband and I were asking what he did throughout the summer and after thinking carefully for a minute he said, “not too much, just being trustworthy.” It was so cute and genuine, it still makes me smile every time I think about it.

    • Shannon says...

      so so so so so so sweet

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, my heart.

    • Kristy says...

      the earnestness is what makes everything cute!

  50. patricia blaettler says...

    For a snack, my son would have a pre-packaged slice of cheese.
    “Mom, may I please have a Krap single?”

    • Julie says...

      Ha!

  51. Alex says...

    My favorite thing to hear between my two boys right now is the way they use manners with each other (this ranges from sweet to forceful).
    Sometimes they say “please” and “thank you” in the sweetest most natural way as they play together, but if one of them forgets to say “you’re welcome” the other repeatedly says their name with emphasis or says “I saaaid ‘thank you’”. Nothing like outsourcing parenting to siblings.

  52. Gina says...

    Love that your kids love the songs Sway and My Love Open the Door!
    My niece’s daughter, Fiona has a really zany sense of humor – a few weeks ago we were at their home so my son could do some screen printing on jeans (they have a machine for this) – and Fiona says, ” Why do you wear jeans with rips in them??!” “Those are gross!!” and as she runs up the stairs….”I’m just trying to live my life here, people!!” Of course, we all burst out laughing! I’ve got to start writing it all down, but kids do say the funniest things :)

  53. Julia says...

    My 8 year old son Florian lately stated: “I hate Math” (he referred to school): I said: “Really? Is it so bad? Don’t you like it a little bit sometimes?” He said: “You know, kids can only LOVE or HATE things”.

  54. Sondra says...

    I took my 3year old son to the kids symphony and during intermission we went to the very crowded bathroom and when it was my turn he yelled in a surprised voice “mom, where’s your penis?”

  55. Deidre says...

    (I’ve been waiting for these!)
    From my zoey (21months):
    The first piggy built his house out of…
    “Strawberries!”
    The second piggy built his house out of…
    “Stickers!”
    The third piggy built his house out of…
    “Bricks.” {sober and not exactly impressed}

    When impressed:
    “Very, very wow!”

    • Kristy says...

      Very, very wow! love it that deserves to be on a shirt

  56. Sarah says...

    I often find myself saying to my two-year-old son, “here, let me fix your socks.” Now, he lets me know, “Mommy, my socks are broken!”

  57. Janet says...

    My brother in law is called Tiftopher (Tiff for short) as my partner couldn’t pronounce Christopher. Tiff is now 32 and although he introduces himself to new people as Chris I just adore that the family still call him Tiff <3

  58. My father’s wife pasted a bit more than a week ago, and last friday we had a ceremony for her. My 4 year old was very focused on my father, and when he saw him cry, he ran up to him with a pack of tissues and said “Here, grandpa, this is for you, if you feel sad”. My heart is still melting by the thought of it.

  59. Oh that’s just adorable.

  60. Alicia says...

    Me, to my much younger 2 year old little sister as she rides her scooter around my dad’s apartment: “Oh, can I ride your scooter?”
    Her: “You’re too big, but you can ride it when you get little”

    • Ana says...

      That is so sweet!
      My 4-year-old keeps telling me: “When you baby up, you’ll be able to do it.”

  61. Sarah says...

    My nearly 2 year old loves hunting for big sticks in the park- unfortunately he can’t say “s” properly yet. Cue lots of loud shouting while he looks for “BIG DICKS”

    • Jamie says...

      Now, that’s a good laugh. I can recall babysitting a little guy, John Jr. with my best friend. He took a wrong step and slipped down the stairs on his bottom and all the way down we heard, “Oh, shit!” Pronounced with a very hard lisp we were in the other room cracking up.