Are You Scared of Flying?

I am terrified of flying. I feel nauseous from fear just writing about it. I do have to fly, as I am from Russia and I want to see my family. Once I was sitting on a plane next to a pilot who was going home to Denver. We were on the rout NYC – Denver, CO. She just came back from her work (she flew a commercial plane NYC – Madrid – NYC). We were stuck for an hour on the runway and she was patiently explaining to me how I need to take lessons: “Once you learn to fly a plane, you know how it works and fear goes away”. When we finally were in the air and allowed to unbuckle the seat-belts, I realized that I didn’t have one all this time. I thought she will kill me – she was so mad at me: “If we hit turbulence while taking off, you might’ve been killed. You worry about flying, but not worried about more realistic things!!!”

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Thanks for sharing these tips! I too am scared of flying. I am able to keep it together if everything goes smoothly but one little turbulence and you will find me crying hysterically. I just really hate being away from the ground. I have two overseas flights this year but I’m still pretending it’s not happening ;)
I find that I am so nervous that I have to shut out any stimuli I can when flying because trying to distract myself doesn’t work – I usually close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else entirely. Works surprisingly well as long as there are no bumps :)

The advice here is good – as far as it goes – but it gives anxious fliers only weak tools to control panic, the same  tools we used at Pan Am back in 1975 in the original fear of flying course started by Captain Truman “Slim” Cummings.

Breathing exercises and relaxation exercises are useless in the air. Distraction is fine until there is turbulence; then it doesn’t hold up.

Because the existing tools were inadequate, in 1982 I founded SOAR to search for more effective tools. It took years, with the help of brain scan technology that taught us how the mind words, a way was found to train the mind to NOT react when the plane drops in turbulence.

By training the mind to not react, and to not release stress hormones during turbulence, everyone can fly comfortably and confidently, even extreme cases, even people who panic the thought of flying.

Read my blog in Psychology Today on how to protect yourself from bad advice. It is at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/conquer-fear-flying/201405/how-anxious-flier-can-recognize-and-avoid-junk-psychology-8

I get nervous on planes, not because I think of all the things that could go wrong but because I can’t wrap my head around the physics of keeping such a huge thing in the air. It’s silly but I just keep thinking “none of this should be physically possible”. I find it easier to be calm about flying when I’ve taken something against motion sickness – it makes me a bit sleepy and if I’m lucky I’ll just doze off.

I wasn’t scared of flying until the Malaysia Air flight went down. I was on a plane every other day for the next month after that, INCLUDING a 11 hour flight into Kuala Lumpur on Malaysia Air just a week after the flight had disappeared. The was delayed a few hours because the entire flight crew had to go through extra screening, and bomb sniffing dogs searched the plane. We get on the plane and it’s the exact same model that had been lost, I couldn’t help but think how the missing plane would have been identical, someone was sitting in my exact seat on that flight, and now they are gone. It was eery. Then we took off through a tropical storm in Auckland so the first two hours was some of the most turbulent air I’ve ever been in. EVERYONE on that plane was nervous. I’d never even given flying a second thought, sometimes I’d even fall asleep before the plane took off. Now, I can’t quite shake the feeling of “what if”.

100% yes, and it started early! There was a great Buzzfeed about this recently.

x Lily
http://whilemyboyfriendsaway.blogspot.com/

I’m SO scared of flying and I do it all the time! It just started about a year and a half ago. Not sure why. I’m comforted by remember what my brother told me his flight attendant friend told him: that turbulence is kinda like a car going over a speed bump. I have no idea if that’s true but I’m gonna go ahead and believe it.

Reading this was pretty (un)timely because I just got back from my first trip to California from Boston on Monday. Wish I saw it last week!!! The flight there was literally the worst of my life. Last row -at night- turbulence – tornadoes on the ground – the whole thing. The flight home, I took two dramamine and half an anti-anxiety pill (it was also during a sunny day) and woke up in Boston. Never flying drug-free again. Thanks for this post though, I do need to learn to chill!!!

I always get very nervous flying. I just get drunk at the airport bar.

Terrified of flying!! I have flown a million times, but something happened when I was 17 years old and haven’t been the same since. However, I knew that I never wanted it to keep me from traveling which I ironically, love. Deep breaths, a glass of wine, lots of praying & my boy on my side. I’m a fear-of-flying survivor.

I wanted to comment that I think the way flight attendants handle people who are afraid of flying is despicable.

I think if they were better trained on how to HUMANELY handle nervous passengers, then less people would feel so panicked.

My husband had a panic attack once just before take-off. He was travelling alone and didn’t really know what to do. His seat mate noticed he was in distress and called the attendant over. She immediately turned aggressive toward him telling him he needed to exit the plane because he was a safety threat to the other passengers.

He was sent off the plane and left alone in the airport at midnight with no one to help him out.

If someone went into labor or started having a heart attack, you wouldn’t just send them on their way to deal with it alone, you would HELP them.

Anxiety is very real and sadly I don’t think it’s respected enough as a serious medical condition by the airline and airport employees.

“maybe it’s because in my mind a giant flying metal thing defies all logic, or maybe it’s because if anything happens, there’s no way out! “

THAT is exactly what I think!

I hate flying. I know statistically it’s the safest form of travel but maybe it’s because in my mind a giant flying metal thing defies all logic, or maybe it’s because if anything happens, there’s no way out!

I deal with it by boozing.

I get a bit freaked out, but I usually only take short flights not over water so I don’t worry as much. Still, when there’s turbulence I close my eyes, breathe slowly, and squeeze my boyfriend’s hand if he’s there. I also feel more concerned when my loved ones fly then when I fly myself — I have been known to track their flight online or make them call me when they land. :)

I’m not scared of flying but I am scared of being in cars. Driving or not driving, I get very anxious. Much worse, since cars are everywhere. It’s one of the reasons why I live in NYC – I can take the subway most of the time.

Yes! I get super nervous sometimes but have learned to master it.

There are three components for me:

1.Glass of wine (or screwdriver if it is a morning flight).

2.Candy Crush on my ipad

3.Blasting music that makes me feel like a badass at high volume through my headphones. The last flight I was on it was Metric (the kickass female lead singer makes me feel like I can take on anything! Corny, but true!)

It has also helped a TON now that the airlines allow you to listen to music during take off and landing.

And if all that fails, I squeeze my husbands hand until he yells at me it hurts. :)

I flew a few weeks after 9/11. I even had a layover in Newark, so I saw everything from above. that was a day i was terrified of flying. having a window seat helped. I don’t know why. But being able to look out the window instead of focusing of who was on the plane (since in that instance, my fear was less of a plane malfunction…)

evey now and then a wave of “what if” hits me when I fly. It’s rare. But it happened the last time i did. Now that you can listen to music during take-off, that helped TONS. I listened to something very soothing (Sun Kil Moon, J Tillman) and pressed my forehead to the window. Like a little music video playing in my head or something.

I’m super scared of flying. I wasn’t at first, but after a turbulent flght, I stopped flying. I tried EVERYTHING, even psychotherapy, but nothing worked. Eventually, I decided to take a medication (clonazepam). It was like a miracle! All my fears disappeared! I can’t believe I spent 13 years without flying. I’m still scared, though, but now I know what to take.
(I don’t drink alcohol, so I don’t know if a glass of wine would do the trick).

I get super nervous for the take off only for some reason. I have a weird way of calming myself – I try to find someone around me who looks calm and cool and I keep stealing little glances at them when it seems like there are lots of bumps! I make up a little story in my head about where they’re coming from, where they’re going and then by the time the bumpiness is over I’m usually okay. I also found once I had kids that flying with them distracts me so much from my fear – keeping them busy, feeding during takeoff etc.

I’m not a great flyer. Music, books, snacks, and Xanax usually distract me.

I’m scared of flying since I had an incident, few years ago. We were flying to Frankfurt and there’s was a huge turbulance and the plane was going down really fast, with no lights, people were shouting, the trolly broke…Imagine, since then I hate flying. And I have a lot of countries that I would like to visit but I can’t :(
http://tarragonain.blogspot.com.es

thanks so much for this Jo! I am petrified of flying and nothing calms me down except for anxiety meds and booze. lethal combo but i can’t fly unless i knock myself down for the entire flight…good times…

I’ really scared of flying and nothing really helps, so I’m just trying to live with it. I’m most scared doing takeoff and landing, and the unknown sounds while in the air! An air hostess told mw that most people are scared of what they don’t know, so if I just asked what it was whenever a high noice appeared, that should help. So I did. And actually it did. Know I know why airplanes makes certain noises and I’m not thinking we’re about to crash anymore!!
If that fails I’m always flying with my boyfriend, so I’m always thinking “at least we die together” ;-)

Sorry for my english, I’m from Denmark. Really quick I just wan’t to say, I love your blog!

I never used to be so scared of flying. But each time I fly it gets worse! The last time I flew by myself to meet my partner and family for Christmas, I burst into tears walking towards the plane! Then on the plane a lady sitting next to me kept asking if I was ok, because I was obviously looking nervous and hyperventilating or something. haha. RIDICULOUS!
I don’t ever want to let it stop me from taking a trip.

My mom likes to tell/tease me that I’m not afraid of flying – I’m afraid of FALLING.

I don’t love flying, but I tell myself that travel is enriching, and it is safe….but every time I cross the threshold into an airplane, I think “ok. well. here goes.”

I do SOOOO much better if I don’t fly with my husband! Seems he’s just as fearful, if not more, of flying, but I never knew that until I looked at him one day, mid-flight, and asked him if the crazy, scary sounds coming from the plain were normal. He was utterly panic-stricken and staring straight ahead, frozen. Yeah, NO help! And now, I’ve realized that for whatever reason, I just feel calmer when he’s not with me. Sure, we’re likely feeding off of each others’ fear together when we fly, but subconsciously, when I’m alone, I think I feel better knowing only one of us is at risk in the air while the other parent is alive on the ground for our kids. Yeah, not too helpful, huh? Plus, I tell myself, it’s completely out of my hands. I can’t control the plane.

I am terrified of flying. So terrified that I have NEVER flown! I also cannot go near airports and duck when planes are overhead! It wasn’t until I moved out of NY that I realized how often I was doing that! There is always a fairly low flying plane overhead if you live on Long Island. I’ve often thought about flying – even if it’s just to avoid the long LONG drive down to Florida to visit my mom. But when I sit down and try to imagine it, try to mentally walk myself through the experience, I end up having a panic attack. Thanks for writing so honestly about fear! :-)