Pregnancy Question

I absolutely did find out the gender both times! I am European and we want to know the gender as early as possible. I really don’t get it about what surprise is everyone in North America talking about – it is a surprise revealed even if you find out early. We are living in 21st century not during the medieval times! :)

My thought on this is that you can prepare better if you know. The argument is always “I want it to be a surprise”. Well it’s gonna be as much of a surprise at 20 weeks as it will be at the end. If you want to wait that’s fine but stop using that excuse.

We waited with our first and we’re waiting again with our second (I’m almost seven months along). I wouldn’t have it any other way. With our first, the moment of reveal was one I will never forget. The doctor showed our baby to us behind first and my husbands exact words were, “And we have aaaa… VAGINA!” Classy. And priceless. Plus, I was way off in my predictions. I thought for sure it was going to be a boy so it was such a surprise! We would’ve been elated either way but it was well worth the wait. Plus, there’s so much gender-neutral stuff out there… it makes it pretty easy unless you have your heart set on a baby-blue or Pepto-Bismal-pink room.

WAIT!! It’s the best surprise in the whole world. What other surprise in our life will be as wonderful! And like you said, you already can imagine a little baby with you. We didn’t find out with our son (17 months) and I’m due in June and are not finding out again. It would feel like I ruined something by knowing. This coming from a surprise LOVER…..if my Xmas presents were under the bed, I would not even peek…I hate spoiled surprises. Really wait……then you can know which way was better!

I know I am absolutely late on this, but I thought I would share. My husband and I had our first child last April and we decided not to find out the gender. Being totally Type A, I thought it would be THE HARDEST THING EVER but it really wasn’t. In fact, it was really liberating. We picked out a boy name and a girl name. I didn’t feel obligated to go with a gender specific nursery (which I wasn’t wanting anyway, but I felt like if I knew the gender I would feel obligated). People thought we were nuts, but hearing the doctor say “It’s a…” and hearing that little cry was the best.

I was as impatient as you are to find out the sex of our second baby, and I think that it made it easier for my older son to get ready for his sibling’s arrival!

http://fashion-for-the-rest-of-us.blogspot.ca/2012/10/were-having-boy.html

We found out this time – my husband REALLY wanted to know and I preferred a surprise, but figured I make more pregnancy decisions by default so I let him call the shots. And boy was it obvious at the ultrasound! I don’t know how we could’ve kept ourselves in the dark.

One of my best friends is a midwife, who once pointed out to me that finding out at your 20-week scan (which is when we can find out in the UK) is no less a ‘surprise’ than finding out on the day you give birth – whichever day you choose, it’s still a monumental surprise, because either way you can’t possibly know what’s coming.

I have a 4.5 year old son and an eight month old baby boy – we didn’t find out with the first, but did with the second because our older boy was three when I got pregnant and had an understanding of what was going on. We felt it would be nice for him to be able to ‘bond’ with his little brother or sister before he or she arrived, to be able to talk about him or her and get used to the idea. I was SO sick for the first 20 weeks of my second pregnancy, that I kind of assumed it was a girl. So I got a real shock at the scan when they said ‘boy’ and I admit that for one tiny moment, I felt a little sense of ‘I’m never going to have a daughter’ as we’re definitely only having two. But I’m so glad I felt that at the scan and not at the birth. The birth of my first son was an incredibly traumatic experience for which I had to have counselling (therapy). And in contrast, the labour and birth of the second was extremely magical – it sort of repaired the emotional and psychological damage and fear I was left with from the first. I wouldn’t have wanted any tiny sense of disappointment – however momentary – to take away from that magical feeling and sense of immense achievement.

I am one of three girls and never even imagined I would have a boy, let alone two! But man is it GREAT! Congratulations on your second pregnancy. It’s a total roller-coaster and INSANE most of the time, but when you see them falling in love with each other, your heart will want to POP!

We found out with our first, and I thought it was even more important to find out with our second. This way we could involve my son more — he is already planning all the things he can do with his younger brother, and he can relate better to his friends who have younger brother. From a practical point of view, I also wanted to know whether I had to take all those baby blue pijamas to the consignment store :)

http://fashion-for-the-rest-of-us.blogspot.ca/2012/10/were-having-boy.html

i wasn’t sure i wanted to find out the gender of our baby boy even though my husband did. when we were at the ultrasound appointment, before we could even talk gender, she had the ultrasound wand on the x marks the spot. she didn’t say anything, but it was UNmistakable. two little legs, and a very obvious twig and berries in between. i yelled out, ‘it’s a boy!!’ no surprise for me :)

– caroline @thecopperavocado

We waited to find out with my daughter and I’m glad we did. My husband wasn’t too keen on waiting but in the end he loved it. Everyone, even strangers, would ask if i was having a boy…so we had in our heads we were having aboy. When I heard the shock in my husbands voice say “its a…girl?!” is something I will always cherish and a feeling that cannot be replicated outside of that climactic moment.

I’m the opposite of others I guess and find that waiting to find out with the first makes the most sense. There are so many unknowns as first time parents, and neither of us had strong preferences of the gender that it wasn’t a big deal not knowing. It is really exciting having that moment of surprise in the delivery room. With #2 I don’t know if we will do it again because as others said, I may want my daughter to be able to know if its a brother or sister.

I don’t know about others, I think a previous poster mentioned it, but I think the downside is I think I would have felt a stronger bond while pregnant had I known what we were having. But I was really nervous about parenthood most of my pregnancy, so it may have been just been me.

While I certainly understand you waiting, I always like knowing what other people are having! So for selfish reasons I’d like you to find out!

We waited to find out the sex of our baby.

It was the most incredible experience of my life. After pushing and meditating for three hours, I felt that blessed ring of fire, and then everything spilled out….and there was crying. Sweet gentle soft crying, as he was coming out! My doctor was so soft spoken, “Nicole, reach down and get your baby.” I almost was paralyzed because I was in disbelief. She said it again to both of us, and my beautiful husband and I reached down together and brought this absolutely new, perfect, creation with a little red blood on him, to my chest. In this moment of pure bliss we almost forgot, but my husband turned the little one over and told me, “It’s a boy.” A BOY!!!!! Ahh, it was incredible.

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and do not know the gender of baby on the way. My husband REALLY wanted to know – but i always wanted to surprise. Now that my date is coming nearer and nearer I must say that i am so STINKIN’ excited to find out boy/girl – it is really keeping me focused on the good/exciting part to labor rather than all of the scary bits. (This is my first!)

Good luck with your decision! My advice – if you aren’t QUITE sure if you want to know – don’t find out in 2 weeks…. you can always find out at a later appointment! :)

as my brother-in-law said: it’s a surprise no matter when you find out-whether before or after the birth.
we loved knowing for both pregnancies what (who!) we were expecting. for the first we didn’t tell anyone, so it was still our secret, but for the second we did.

I found out the genders with my first pregnancy because I was having twins and that was surprise enough! I did not find out what i was having with baby #3. It was really fun not knowing, but I’ll admit it was easy not knowing because i already had a girl and a boy. I’m pregnant with #4 now and not finding out this time either.
Personally, I think gender reveal parties are a little too “look at me!!” I think announcing tout pregnancy and baby’s birth, with a baby shower in between, is plenty. Maybe a family only gender reveal would be ok. But the over-the-top invite everyone parties are too narcissistic for me.

In most health authority areas in the UK they refuse to tell you. We have a (free) national health service – if you want to know you have to pay to see a private doctor to find out.

I thought for SURE I would wait to find out the gender. So when we got pregnant in June, I convinced my husband to wait to find out. Then, around 4 months, it was keeping me up at night!! So we decided to compromise with a gender reveal party. We brought the sealed envelope to the baker and had them do cupcakes that were stuffed with the appropriate color frosting. We bit into the cupcakes with our guests and found out the gender with everyone. (Not peaking at the envelope for WEEKS was the hard part!!) It was actually SO fun prepping and sending out invitations and all of that. The anticipation was wonderful. If we’re blessed with another child, I WILL wait until their birth. ((Because some days, I secretly wish I had!))
Here’s a glimpse at our party: http://mommysmemorylane.blogspot.com/2012/11/its-a.html

With our first baby I wanted to find out for the same reason as you, but my husband very adamently did not! So during the ultrasound, he left the room for a minute while I learned the sex!How I managed to keep that secret was a small miracle. It worked out well because we each got what we really wanted at the time. However, my husband did mention that he wouldn’t have minded finding out. He was actually quite surprised by how much he didn’t even care at the delivery! Once the baby was born, we were so enthralled by him that at least 20 minutes passed before he even thought to check! For our next little one, i would love to be able to wait, but i know in my heart that i just won’t be able to. I think that without a solid reason to wait, I just won’t be able to do it, and I haven’t yet heard a reason that makes me think: yes! that sounds amazing! i will totally wait!! The surprise at the ultrasound at 20 weeks was still amazing and surprising and real and exciting and all of those wonderful things!

Congratulations!! So exciting!
I’m due next month with #2 and were surprised with #1 but I’m finding it WAY harder to not know this time around! In fact I had a u/s yesterday and I pretty much tried to talk myself and husband into just finding out and I’m SO glad we didn’t. As I keep telling people (or continuing to convince myself), the not knowing makes the whole labor part really worthwhile….or so I like to believe. There are few really wonderful surprises left in this crazy world and I rank the surprise of finding out the sex of your babe when he/she enters the world at the top. Whatever you decide will be exciting….but my vote is to enjoy the suspense for the rest of this journey!

Joanna, we waited on both of our boys and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. You are right – that moment of ‘it’s a’ is so very very special. And it was so fun during the pregnancies to deliberate over both boy and girl names. For me, it felt just a little more special when we had the baby since everyone was on pins and needles to find out what it was going to be! It’s really hard to wait, but I think it was absolutely worth the wait.

can you tell me where the rug in the top pic comes from? you’re the cutest!

I wanted a boy so bad, I did not want to find out. When the doctor said, “it’s a boy!”, my husband said I let out the sweetest noise he’s ever heard. I think it also keeps people interested! I hope you wait it out!

We were only going to do it once, so we waited for the surprise. I still knew in my heart that I would have a boy; I’m such a tomboy that I had no idea what I’d do with a girl.

Then I heard those marvelous words, “IT’S A GIRL!” and I’ve never looked back. It was worth the wait.

We waited and I wouldn’t have it any other way. For me, finding out first would have been like opening gifts before Christmas! I am so glad we did. It’s the best surprise ever.

we waited to find out with both our girls and those moments when we found out are 2 of the most special memorable moments in my entire life…..

Wait! Not only is it SO fun for the couple, but it’s also incredibly exciting for friends and family. Everyone will want to know immediately what you had and it creates this great joy around the whole event. Plus, after 33 hours of labor it was so memorable to hear the doctor say “It’s a…” and I looked down and screamed out “girl!”.

We waited with both of our children and it was the BEST surprise ever! It was awesome to get that announcement as the baby was born. And it drove everyone else in our family crazy, which was just fun!

I didn’t find out the gender of my baby. The OB handed her to me right as she was born, and so I got to be the first one to check and see what gender the baby was. It was really gratifying to be the one to do it!

i will never forget the moment the midwife screamed :”It’s a girl!” Bianca (this is her name) is the our first child and founding if was boy or a girl, and her face, was the most emotional moment in my life! And it was so funny listen everyone prediction:”your belly is large and low, it’s a girl! No, you are so slim, it’s absolutely a boy”!!
Elena

i will never forget the moment the midwife screamed “it’s a girl!”. we made the choise to not know about sex, even bianca (because this is her name) was the first child! And was so funny during pregnancy listen to everybody make a prediction about the gender (you know…”your belly is large and low, it’s a girl! no, you are so slim, it’s a boy!”). and when she was born… the most magic moment ever!!! Elena

We found out the gender with our first (a girl) and also with our second (a boy). I’m a planner and I like to prepare and know what to expect. I also found that knowing the gender gave the unborn baby so much more identity in my mind and helped me connect before she/he was born. Many people say they want the surprise of not knowing the gender but there are so many unknowns when it comes to labor and delivery that there is plenty of “surprise” already.

I’ll never forget hearing my husband call out at the end of our delivery, “It’s a girl!” My eyes are already shimmering just thinking about it. It was his idea to wait and I’m so glad we did. Best surprise ever! Congrats on your new babe :)

I think it would be exciting to keep the sex of the baby a surprise. I don’t think I could do it because I would have to know. Either way, having a baby is an amazing experience!

Am I the only one who kind of, sort of, a little bit thinks the trend of gender reveal parties is a touch narcissistic? I know it is momentous, but it seems a shade gratuitous to expect everyone to gather round and shriek with excitement when cutting a cake.

After years of being told I could not have children, at 39 years old I became pregnant AND then 5 months after that birth, became pregnant again. BC the first one was SUCH a surprise, we did find out. My husband insisted (doesn’t like surprises)and he was so excited and I was such a state of happy shock, I went along with and wanted to be somewhat prepared. And then with the 2nd, we found out again but I so wished I had been able to have the dr say, “It’s a ?????!”. I say, wait!