Toby Anton

Toby Anton

A few years ago, I wrote about how most parents seem to have an age of kids that they connect especially well with — maybe teeny babies, maybe goofy toddlers, maybe earnest six-year-olds…

I always figured ages three and four would be my forever favorite — they are such magical thinkers! — so nothing has surprised me more than ages 10 and 13, which are the actual BEST. The boys now make me laugh not just with their cuteness but also with their wit, and I feel like I live with my two incredibly fun friends (and 1000 dirty socks).

Here are a few funny things they’ve recently busted out with, first from Anton…

We recently got a hamster; Anton is obsessed and Toby truly could not care less. The other night, I said to Anton, “Buttercup is so lucky to have you as her dad. I guess that makes me her grandma.” And he was like, “Yeah, and Toby is like her 15th cousin.”

Anton (before we got the hamster): “I need to get a boy hamster so he won’t mind seeing me in my birthday suit.”

After Anton got a haircut, he walked in the door, looking upset: “My barber did me wrong, bro.”

The other day I saw a beautiful watercolor painting on our kitchen counter.
Me: “What is this?”
Anton: “I don’t know.”
Me: “But what is it, for real?”
Anton: “I literally have no idea.”
Me: “But it has your name on it.”
Anton: “Oh, yeah, I made it in art.”

Also, I feel moved to witness the boys becoming more aware of the world around them. Anton and I were watching The Golden Bachelor (I know), and one of the women was talking about her career in finance. And the Bachelor was like, “OMG, that’s AMAZING, I’m so IMPRESSED, omg.” And Anton was quiet and then said, “Bro, that’s kind of sexist.” I asked him to say more, and he told me, “He’s acting so amazed that she could do that, but of course she could do that. It’s cool, but it’s not, like, surprising.” It was such a small subtle thing in the show, and I was so happy that he picked up on it and was able to explain it.

Meanwhile Toby remains the most amusing person to text with. Here is his entire personality in four texts:

Haha and he definitely knows how much I love him:

These boys. How did I get so lucky?


Recording our podcast episode.


Smizing like Chalamet.

anton and toby

Playing Tenzi with my step-niece (right) and her girlfriend.

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? I’d love to hear…

P.S. More kids in conversation, and how to talk to kids about sex, periods, and death. Plus, three words that changed how I parent.