Four Fun Things

I am so sorry! Do you have anxiety or depression? Terrible insomnia was a part of my untreated anxiety (and then I would get anxious about the insomnia, and it was an awful feedback loop). I treated the anxiety (low dose zoloft, CBT, and lots of exercise) and the insomnia resolved.

Okay here’s a weird sleep tip of mine that I didn’t find on the internet…when I really need to sleep, I start considering something in my life that I consider emotionally exhausting. I picture the exhaustion from my brain seeping into every corner of my being. It makes my muscles heavy. And it leaves me in a position where I am so ready konk out.

My suggestion is… Ambien. It actually helps people *stay* asleep — lots of these other things are good for helping people fall asleep in the first place, but nighttime waking is really hard to conquer.

My personal experience is very similar to Emma’s! Zoloft + ADHD meds (Jornay is fantastic!!!) + EMDR therapy + an exercise routine I can stick to (based on convenience and with a big boost from the meds).

It sounds like you’ve likely done a lot of research and have tried many things–I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would highly suggest finding a psychologist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/treatment/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia

Sleep is foundational to so many of our physical and psychological processes. It’s not surprising that you’re having those feelings of failure because you are, quite literally, not thinking straight due to exhaustion. Try to remind yourself of that when you noticing those negative thoughts and maybe try a mantra like “thoughts are not facts.”

Just want to add a warning to Megan comment- while Benadryl makes most people sleepy it can have the opposite result. I am completely wired and emotionally out of whack if take Benadryl- it is not pretty. My kids all have the same response- proceed with caution if you don’t know how your body will respond.
I have a photographic memory and try to “walk through” old classrooms, stores, childhood friends homes etc in my mind taking in every detail (smells, objects in room, lighting) it usually works!

I love the Get Sleepy and The Sleepy Bookshelf podcasts. I also take melatonin. I often wake up in the middle of the night and do the alphabet in vegetables, fruit, cities flowers, such as A is for apple, etc. I need to stop my brain from thinking.

You may have tried this already but magnesium saved me. You can take it as a pill before bedtime but I prefer the magnesium spray on my legs or back (it can tingle sometimes if you are deficient but it stops when you use it regularly – and never spray it on just shaved legs!). Honestly can’t recommend it enough if you haven’t already tried!

Might be worth trying this Fisher Wallace stimulator! I use it for anxiety but it treats anxiety, depression and insomnia by lowering cortisol and increasing seratonin without drugs. They don’t have much research info on their website anymore for some reason but you can read about it elsewhere. I have one and I love it! And there’s a 30 day return policy if it doesn’t work for you.
https://www.fisherwallace.com/

This sounds a lot like my husband’s journey with sleep. He finally had a sleep study and found out he has apnea! He now has a Cpap machine and it has been a game changer! Please talk to your doctor and ask for a sleep study.

While I think talking to a doctor or trying meds might be the best approach here, if you want something to try tonight: Sleep upside down. When I was a kid and I couldn’t sleep (or more likely, was refusing to sleep) my mom would put my pillow at the foot of the bed and have me try sleeping that way. Something about it made sleeping feel much less pressure (“i’m already doing it totally wrong! What have I got to lose?”) and it always worked. I still resort to this on nights when my mind is just racing racing racing and my bed feels all wrong. Sweet dreams and good luck!

Acupuncture for insomnia saved me in 2021. I did not sleep for 2.5 months and exercise, sunshine, all the drugs, nothing worked. After just 3 sessions I was in a much better place. There are studies that support this as well!

I’m really sorry. I’ve been experiencing insomnia on and off for a couple of months for the first time in my life and I feel your pain. It is really frustrating, especially when you are exhausted. It is worse when you get anxious about bedtime. There has been no silver bullet for me. My friend told me to get out of bed when I start getting frustrated and that can be helpful. I’ve tried boring chores like cleaning my hairbrush when I can’t sleep. To get to sleep, I count sheep in German (a foreign language for me) very slowly. I also play the alphabet game. Sometimes I do a meditation in my head. I find that cuddling my husband or baby before sleep has been very very helpful and relaxing. Wishing you the best. I hate it too and find it really demoralizing.

+1 for Get Sleep Podcast. I don’t know how it works, but it does.

Hi,
In case helpful, although you already have a stream of helpful comments and probably need to explore the root cause like the apnea person, I did find the JS Health sleep vitamins very helpful. In addition, a sleep mask, ear plugs, and white noise machine could be really helpful. It sounds like you have anxiety about this, I certainly would, and may need some help shutting down.

Hey Anon!
I see you have a TON of tips to try here (hooray!) AND I just want to say that I can really relate. I’ve had anxiety and sleep issues since my daughter was born 6 years ago. I am just now sleeping again for more than 2-3 hours at a time and it’s life changing. Here’s what is starting to work for me, if it helps!

1. A Trazadone perscription. It’s an anti-anxiety med in the “cortisol antagonist” category. 90% of people who use it use it for sleep, but I use it nightly and notice my sleep and anxiety are both better. No side effects except a headache the first first mornings.

2. I don’t do the hot bath thing – I get progressively colder in the evening and just stay that way! I find that hot = wake up, which makes me spiral and angry. I also taper off on water, tea, screens and anything else by 8:30/9.

3. I am seeing a therapist weekly to deal with my anxiety.

4. Functional medicine doctor has me taking mag glycinate and Adrenal Assist supplements. Most people take the wrong kind of magnesium, which makes you poopy, not sleepy! Fun fact ;)

5. I do 10-20 minutes of very slow yoga at night – Peloton app. I wear blue-light blockers while I do it to limit the light exposure. I also wear them while I read on my kindle.

6. I do 10-20 minutes of mindfulness-based stress reduction meditation using the Headspace app.

This is a LOT, but I was in your same boat – I felt insane, incapable and like a different person (I still do sometimes!) Doing my full regime every day takes a lot of attention and care, but it’s helping. After 6 years, this is worth every moment to me. I hope any of this helps you!

OHHHH on rye!! that sounds so good.

Favorited your shop for once I’m settled in a new place late summer (and actually have an income again!!). Being unemployed is the greatest test of a person’s patience to ever exist.