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By the hilarious Grace Farris.
P.S. What I’ve learned from the tooth fairy and mom glossary.
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When we were kids and asked to be excused from the dinner table, my dad would dramatically sigh and say “out damned spot.” When we were kids, it made us giggle, when we were teenagers it made us groan and roll our eyes, and now as adults it makes me smile and think of him.
Why can’t I get rid of the baby clothes??? I’ve decided to label myself “sentimental” instead of “hoarder”.
Oh my gosh, this totally reminded me about the worst part of “distance learning” is getting dry erase marker off everything we own. When this is over I will never own a whiteboard again.
I love these!
Occasionally my husband or I will tell our kids when we are over something they are doing (or not doing, when they should be), “Now is the winter of our discontent….” (From Richard III).
Not for toddlers, but I often think of the pandemic as, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time.” (Macbeth)
Toddlers and Shakespearean drama must goes together. This reminds me so much of a funny thing that happened when my twins were small. I wrote about it in my diary, under the heading “Dire Cruelty”:
We have a new rule at our house that any child who emits a piercing whine and is not bleeding or concussed goes straight to time out. No fuss, no muss, just stand in the corner until you can talk like a person instead of a wounded animal. This has been working great, and it’s made dinner much more pleasant.
Last night, however, I heard a shrieking whine from the couch where the boys were sitting, and I calmly told Duncan (the prime offender) to go to the corner. To my surprise, he didn’t go, even when I repeated my request twice, and he started to whine an incoherent string of protests. I, somewhat peeved, gave him a grim look and boomed — without thinking — “STAND NOT UPON THE ORDER OF YOUR GOING.”
And he went, and cried, since even small people know that it’s not smart to provoke your mother to the point of quoting Lady MacBeth at you. Whoops.
Of course, it turned out Duncan’s brother was the original whiner, and I’d traumatized Duncan for no reason. Double whoops.
Maybe if I wash my hands several times it will be ok?
You win parenting for the week just on the basis of your hilarious comment, plus your ability to quote Lady MacBeth at the drop of hat, regardless of when it actually happened.
to sleep, perchance to…sleep some more.
That really made me laugh and will, whilst I wait at the post office or something !
So true for all of these! I just got rid of the baby stuff. Shop is closed but it took me four years to be ok with it. Not going to lie, I cried looking at those teeny tiny clothes realizing I would never have another baby.
This might be my favorite Grace Farris cartoon ever! I have been thinking a lot about The Taming of the Shrew as I spend days with my toddler. (Nerd out English major moment here.) She is obsessed with the moon, and she insists everything (the sun, big streetlamps, neighbors’ porch lights) is the moon. Some days I have the time/energy to explain it to her, but on certain days there’s no point trying to convince her otherwise. On those days, I find myself thinking of this exchange: KATHERINE: The moon?! The sun; it is not moonlight now. PETRUCHIO: I say it is the moon that shines so bright. KATHERINE: I know it is the sun that shines so bright…HORTENSIO: Say as he says, or we shall never go.
So now “Say as [she] says, or we shall never go,” is my toddler mantra on days when I need it to be. Cleared I have been tamed by my toddler, lol.
This was my favorite COJ comment of 2021! Lovely.
Hahahah love this
Such an appropriate toddler quote! Shakespeare would have had three small children when he wrote it, so maybe he *was* inspired by toddlers :) I’ll forever like to imagine that he was.
Love the cartoon. Brava!
tis true, tis true…too true…
hilarious friday fulfillment!
Super cute.
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