1. Emma says...

    This is me. Exactly me. This made me laugh so much! We all have these bedtimes don’t we?
    Love all Grace’s work!

  2. Cheryl says...

    Correction: Last mom translation is “get into FUCKING bed!”
    Because aren’t we all at our absolute wit’s end? Lol

  3. Andrea says...

    Martin Freeman’s new series, Breeders, focuses on a sleepless evening with two kids in the first episode. These called that to mind.

  4. Sara says...

    The one I always find myself saying is “You don’t have to go to sleep, but you do need to rest your body.”

    As a lifelong insomniac I never want to pressure my kids to sleep, but if they can manage to be still, quiet, relaxed, and stop the silliness for five minutes they will drift right off.

    However, usually one of them will whisper something like “toot” in the darkness and uncontrollable giggles ensue.

    • Agnes says...

      Love this view on kids sleeping. I have never had sleep issues, maybe because as a child, when I used to say I couldn’t sleep, my dad would say, ‘never mind, just rest your eyes.’ Cue little me falling asleep instantly…

  5. sallyt says...

    The best bedtime routine is a game that my 8 yo created – she LOVES the soundtrack Philadelphia Chickens – which you have to get for kids 2-10 – and she has the book, so we take turns singing a song as intended on the soundtrack, and THEN (best part!) as Taylor Swift would sing it.

    I really am over bedtimes b/c I’m so wiped, but this makes me genuinely happy.

  6. Alex Pearl says...

    We just moved my 15-month old into his big sister’s room (4 years old) and they are so excited to be sleeping together. The first two nights we could hear lots of little happy sounds and giggles. On the third night, after the little one was particularly squawky, I heard my 4-year-old say, “Ok now Freddie. It’s time to calm down and get some rest.” I’m cracking up on the other side of the door with a big glass of wine :)

    • Kim says...

      This is hilarious :)

    • Saundra says...

      How did you do this??? I haven’t managed to get my 2+yo into her brother’s room yet. I have tried a few times and they both get too excited and then take hours to go to sleep and then she’s back in my bed after all.

  7. Kara says...

    When it’s time for lights out, we put on our “fruit bat eyes” (Stellaluna is a repeat read), so “it’s time for fruit bat eyes” really just means “please please please go the £#&% to sleep”

  8. Laura says...

    Love it! After running through this whole list with my 3 year old daughter last week, she blurted out in a last ditch effort as I closed the door, “Wait mom, just one more thing! Would you rather have a duckling or a kitten or a little bunny?!?”

    It totally took me by surprise and made me smile so big. I chose a duckling and then turned around and left :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha love that :)