Design

Have a Good Weekend.

Brooklyn stoop by @stoopsofbrooklyn

What are your plans for the weekend? We took the boys to a Juneteenth march today and are teaching them the history behind what will hopefully become a federal holiday. Hope you have a good one — happy Father’s Day! — and here are a few links from around the web…

Racism is terrible. Blackness is not.

The most refreshing cocktail.

Nisolo, one of our favorite brands, offer 25 of the best masks (for kids and adults) in their mask marketplace.

That’s why I kept getting pulled over. They thought [my poodle] was a black man.

Contemporary films reimagined as vintage books.

Our lives happen in restaurants. Sloan Crosley’s story made me laugh. (New York Times)

10 anti-racist podcasts to listen to.

A colorful rental apartment in Cleveland. Those plants!

Juneteenth strawberry soda.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Jess on how to talk to girls about their periods: “As the mother of boys, I’d like to add that it’s important to talk to our sons about this, too. They will be interacting with women their entire lives (including us!), and we have the power to banish the taboo of menstruation through conversation! Obviously, there are age-appropriate ways to discuss the topic, but not teaching them about it at all is a disservice to them and to society. I’m trying to raise boys who will be saying to their college girlfriends, ‘Do you need me to run to the store for tampons?'”

Says Carrie on 10 food gifts from Black-owned companies: “Adding to the list McBride Sisters Winery, a Black-women-owned winery in California that makes a perfect picnic wine in a can.

(Photo by @stoopsofbrooklyn. Poodle story via Kottke.)

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  1. Sequoia says...

    Joanna what about a Motherhood in Quarantine series, I’d be down to share my old and new normal. I have an 18 month old and I find that most of the online resources are for school aged children. Also that mothers are doing things differently according to their resources and I think we could learn from one another especially going into summer with no structured recreation! If anyone can pull this off its you!

  2. Emma says...

    So much yes to the comment from Jess!

  3. Kara says...

    Also love the comment about teaching boys about periods. I try to be very matter of fact about all things bodies with my young boys, and that combined with the fact that we live in a very small house with one bathroom (i.e. zero bathroom privacy) means that I frequently have to explain what’s happening with my body during my period haha! Now I’m feeling like it’s probably a good thing for them in the future.

  4. Christy says...

    Nisolo FINALLY added size 11 for women!!!!!! I’m so happy!!!

    Loving all these links. Especially the poodle story- holy yikes.

    Happy Juneteenth!

  5. Daniela says...

    I love the comment from Jess. My husband does not think my period is a big deal and sees it as totally normal, which it is! I use the fertility awareness method for birth control and I love how comfortable he is with my cycle.

  6. Mindi says...

    Hello, collective hive. Does anyone have a recommendation for larger fitting masks (I looked at the Nisolo roundup and they are all smaller, despite “fitting most adults” or being “one size fits all”)? My husband is a big and tall guy, and seems to have a really long face. We have not been able to find masks that fit him, despite trying 4 different companies and attempting to make our own (yikes). He would need something that is at least 7 inches, top to bottom, and most companies are 6.5″ or less… and then shrink in the wash.

    Thank you CoJ, as always, for such thoughtful posts.

    • Caitlin says...

      Hi! I would definitely try Etsy! I’ve seen some custom sized face masks on Etsy and you can always contact the seller for a specific request! Good luck!

    • Kelly says...

      Hi Mindi,

      I agree Etsy is the way to go so you can get a custom mask! I actually have a shop and have been making masks (they were even listed in USA Today as a top homemade mask back in May). Let me know if I can help!

      astoriacorkandcraft.etsy.com

  7. Mouse says...

    Good comment from Jess about teaching boys about women. I was very lucky that my first boyfriend–and the first person with whom I had sex–had enlightened and liberal parents with 3 sons. They carefully sat their boys down at the appropriate time and explicitly explained about sex AND told them that contraception was THEIR responsibility. Not the girls’. So my boyfriend took me to a clinic to get contraception before we ever had sex. I’m not sure I would have known to do that, or been brave enough; my head was in the clouds as a teenager. I’ve often thanked his parents silently.

  8. C says...

    I can’t seem to reply to B’s comment and Joanna’s reply but if anything it would be even more fascinating to hear how mothers around the world deal with the same thing – quarantine.

  9. AMK says...

    It is so disturbing that animals get treated better than some humans in the country. The story about the poodle. OMG

    • Joaquina says...

      Not really. Look at how farm animals are treated for meat and dairy production. Once you watch (in person or video), the torture and slaughter, you can not ever be complicit.
      Animals are sentient beings but definitely treated differently depending on how people vie them (pets vs food).

    • Christina says...

      Joaquina, I know you didn’t just try to misappropriate the Black Lives Matter movement and the murder of human beings every day for the color of their skin by those who are supposed to protect and serve them, with…… veganism. Please, god, no.

  10. Elly says...

    I was excited to visit the “new movies as old books” link, until I found the whole list and discovered the artist had not used a single female-directed or more than one, I think, female-centered film. (The one he used was Midsomer.) The list is totally male and for the most part, very white, which is super disappointing.

  11. Em says...

    That poodle story. WTF. All the rage.

  12. Michelle says...

    I can relate to the poodle story somewhat… I am a light skinned black woman from a distance I look white close up there is no mistaking my blackness. One day while my husband was driving a white man passed us on the left he looked in the car at my black husband and me and shook his head in disapproval. He thought I was white. A second time my husband was pumping gas and while I was on the passenger side a white man came out the store and looked at me angrily until he got closer and realized I was black and the scowl left his face. Racism is really real.

  13. SanDee says...

    If you grew up in the American South, chances are you’ve always known what Juneteenth is. In Arkansas, it’s been marked with community celebrations throughout all these years. It never occurred to me that much of the country seems to be hearing about Juneteenth for the first time. Kind of sad, actually.

  14. Ellen says...

    Great point from Jess to teach boys about menstruation too! Making a mental note for when my little guy gets older. <3

    • Kate says...

      Super important! And I would absolutely encourage you to start with your little guy now and not wait, because it’s SO EASY to do when they are little. Just like normalizing asking for consent by starting young: “can I give you a hug?” or “we’re going to say goodbye now, would you like to give your Auntie a wave, or a hug, or a high five?”

      I’m a single mom to a young son, and normalizing menstruation and bodies was a super easy thing to do when I began talking about things when he was young.

      The books “It’s so Amazing” is written for 7 and up, and “It’s not the Stork” is written for 4 and up. Robie H. Harris wrote these along with “It’s Perfectly Normal” and others – they’re fantastic resources and are geared towards the natural inquisitiveness of different age groups.

      Even doing small things regularly, such as just mentioning your period from time to time, e.g. mentioning that you are starting your period today and so this cup of tea and hot water bottle feels nice, or keeping whatever menstruation supplies you choose to use *unhidden* in the bathroom.

      Normalizing mensuration is so important for girls AND boys!

  15. A says...

    In regards to teaching sons about periods: last fall I visited my cousin (late 20’s, male) for the weekend. One night, we vegged out and watched a movie on his (pale linen) couch. Halfway through the movie I felt something and went to the bathroom only to discover I had started my period and It. Was. A. Mess. I went back out with trepidation to discover a stain on the (pale linen) couch. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but my cousin was incredibly understanding, not freaked out, and insisted on cleaning the sofa so I could take a shower. He kept reassuring me, saying “don’t worry, I date people of your type, this happens…”. I was floored at his reaction and I feel even closer to this favorite cousin. All to say, raising boys to be understanding and compassionate is so important!

    • Mollie says...

      “I date people of your type” hahaha – that was a great comment.

  16. Wonderful! Thank you!

    • Mollie says...

      I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS PODCAST! I don’t have kids yet, but I am committed to sending my future children to global majority schools, and to be a true community member not colonist in these schools. I have learned so much from listening and reading Nikole Hannah-Jones

  17. Anna says...

    The Imami Perry article – wow. Thank you for sharing.

  18. Meg says...

    This is a great Friday roundup. I really love the thought that’s been put into posts lately, which is totally par for the course considering how wonderful this site is. The poodle story, in particular, was astounding and infuriating.

  19. Jennifer Bachynski says...

    I love Jess’s comment on talking to boys about periods! I have two small boys and was thinking the exact same thing when I read your post. I remember when my high school boyfriend wasn’t squeamish about my period and offered to pick me up tampons, I was so impressed. Who is this 17 year-old boy? I should marry him… and I did :)

  20. aubrey says...

    Oof I read that article about the poodle and I would never have believed it possible for police to be so out of control. How are they even allowed to pull you over to check out a passenger without a legal reason??? And with guns ready? It is so shameful for America and for the police force.

    The main thing I’ve learned from all of this is that the concept of a police force is doing more harm than good and has become out-dated. I’ve been reading non-stop during the protests and it never occurred to me that we don’t actually need a police force – it is time we abolished it and redirect that energy into progressive social services instead. It’s all been a revelation to me.

    • Elizabeth says...

      Seeing more people come to police abolition and seeing it being discussed as a more mainstream idea (as opposed to pie in the sky) has been extremely encouraging. I’ve been reading a lot as well, and the more I learn from people who have been organizing in this space for many years, the more I am convinced that police abolition (rather than these reform measures that a lot of city officials have been patting themselves on the back for lately) is the right direction.

  21. (happened to spot when I clicked through!) says...

    Great list as always! Apartment Therapy story has the apartment in Cleveland (not Chicago) in case you wanted to update your link!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes, thank you!!

    • Kathleen says...

      Also a duplex, not an apartment! Possibly a regional difference (?) but to me a duplex is a house!

  22. Will COJ return to two posts per day this summer or is content slowing down for the time being?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hi Lexi, we will be returning! we moved to a slower pace to take some time to learn, listen and highlight other voices, and will be ramping up again soon. thank you!

    • b says...

      Related, when is Motherhood Around the World coming back? I’m not a parent, but those are some of my favorite posts.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      We were going to do another installment this summer but with quarantine it doesn’t feel like people can talk about their regular lives in the same way. So we may skip this summer!

    • Mich w/ 2 Ls says...

      What about a feature on parenthood in quarantine? There are so many different ways to experience this time — we have two toddlers and two full time jobs! send help! — I’d be interested to know how other patents are doing it.

    • Heather says...

      Agree about motherhood under quarantine – it would be different than last series, of course, but so interesting and useful! I’d Iove to see that feature!