Style

My Beauty Uniform: Marielle Heller

Mari Heller beauty uniform

Marielle Heller — my friend and neighbor — is the director of such films as Diary of a Teenage Girl, Can You Ever Forgive Me? and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. Here, Mari shares how to combat very dry skin, an inspiring way to listen to kids, and what it was like to chop off all her hair…

Mari Heller beauty uniform

First off, what are your three favorite movies? I’m always curious to hear people’s choices.
I’d always put Harold and Maude. I love it so much and watch it often. Big is one of my favorites and brings me pleasure, but when Philadelphia came out, it ruined me. I was in high school, and I didn’t realize something so political could make you so invested in the characters. I bought the soundtrack and listened to it all the time in the car. And what else? Another movie I’ve seen the most times in my life — but it’s probably the worst movie ever made — is The Room. My family watches it on holidays; it’s a fun bonding experience.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

As an actor and director, your red hair seems like a signature part of your look.
Actually, my real hair color is dirty blonde. I started dyeing it 15 years ago. My dad and my grandfather are both redheads, and as soon as I started dyeing my hair red, people were like, oh yeah, that’s what you’re supposed to be.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

What made you dye it in the first place?
I was acting more back then and it was this weird thing: I was labeled as a blonde but I didn’t make sense for roles that were labeled for blondes. I’m more of a ‘quirky best friend’ than a ‘blonde ingenue.’ I wanted to go for the funnier, darker parts, the character roles, and having red hair put me in the right pile for that. That’s a shitty thing about being an actor: having to tailor your look to other people’s biases!

Mari Heller beauty uniform

What’s something about your look that you’ve learned to love?
I have really pale skin and when I was younger, I would try to bronze it up. But now I want to look like myself and leave it the way it is. I’ve worn sunscreen every day of my life. I wear hats on the beach.

What skincare products do you swear by?
I use Dr. Hauschka soothing cleansing milk to take my makeup off every day. I break out easily but Dr. Hauschka products don’t break me out. They feel cleansing without being drying and work really well. Also, True Botanicals Nutrient Mist was given to me as a gift, and I fell in love with it. I spray it on and it helps my skin absorb my moisturizer. In my late 30s, my skin totally changed to suddenly be dehydrated. If I don’t use the nutrient mist, my skin gets deeply dry. Plus, I love the smell so much.

What moisturizer do you use?
Aesop Parsley Seed Hydrating Cream has become something I’ll splurge on. Aesop products are such high quality. I love their body scrubs, too. They’re my winter go-to thing. My friend told me about them, and they’re so necessary with the dry weather.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

I hear you about dry skin these days.
And lips! Every night, I use Neosporin Overnight Reveal Therapy. Oh my god, I can’t live without this. I get mad because my husband steals it. If you have dry lips, you wake up with soft lips. It’s a life changer and I use it year round.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

What about makeup?
I like Queen of the Fill Brow Gel. I embrace my bushier eyebrows. And L’Oréal Voluminous Mascara in brown or black. It’s the best! I’ve tried all the fancy ones when I work with makeup artists, and I’ve never found anything as good. It makes your eyelashes really full but doesn’t separate your lashes into weird anime lashes.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

You recently cut your hair off. Were you nervous?
I haven’t had my hair short ever in my life, and it’s fun. I cut it for an acting role and then I cut it even shorter after the role.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

How did the actual haircut feel?
It was so freeing and cathartic to chop it all off. I had my kid do my first cut because I’d heard stories of kids being traumatized when their mom comes back and looks different. So, I brought him to the hair salon and they put my hair into four ponytails and he cut the first one off. He was excited. Then I donated all my hair to Children With Hair Loss.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

What hair products do you use?
I’ve been trying all my husband’s hair stuff since I cut it off, and Floyd’s Grooming Grip Cream is my favorite. I like it when my hair looks sculptural and sort of messy but not greasy. This product disappears, but it makes your hair stand up in a cool way.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

Congratulations on your recent film, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. Why were you drawn to the Mr. Rogers story?
I knew the writers of the screenplay, and they were taking such a smart approach to the material. It wasn’t going to be a biopic; it was taking something well known and finding a new way into it. I never thought I’d make movies about men, but I thought, oh my god, I need to make this movie, we all need it, this movie needs to exist in the world. Not just for the good and kindness, but also for the grown-up processing of our feelings, of our grief, of our more complex feelings.

What kinds of complex feelings?
It’s easy to write Fred Rogers off as someone who is kind and nice, but the truth is he was revolutionary in how he was willing to go deep with kids about harder subjects. He talked about death, assassination, divorce when it was not talked about… It wasn’t like, put on a happy face and ignore the tough stuff. But instead, let’s find a way to give space for children to feel the things they’re feeling. They might feel afraid of a haircut and that might be as big as a fear of death.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

Has it changed how you talk to your own child?
The biggest thing that changed right away was how I listened. Mr. Rogers was an incredibly active listener and so present with whomever he was talking to. Everyone said it was disarming. When he asked how are you? he was really asking. It’s a small change you can make with your own kids. I used to fill in answers for my kid. What do you want for lunch? A quesadilla? A sandwich? How are you feeling? Sad? Upset? But if you give kids space to answer for themselves, you’ll be surprised by what they say. Feeling comfortable with silences can allow for more honest conversations.

What do you hope to teach your child about beauty?
If anything, my kid is teaching me more about beauty than I’m teaching him. He wears what he wants and doesn’t fit into most social norms — which impresses me every day. He loves sequins. For the last day of school last year, his school had a small picnic in his classroom. My kid asked me to wear a sequin gown. He said everyone was going to be fancy (which I knew wasn’t true) and it seemed so important to him. So, I went to work in my jeans with a sequin gown in my bag and changed before I headed to his celebration. He was so happy I showed up for him in that way.

Mari Heller beauty uniform

What advice would you give women who want to get into film?
The best thing you can do is make your own work — writing scripts, finding people you want to collaborate with, etc. A mistake people make is that they feel like they have to wait for someone to give them permission to start working. It’s a tricky thing because we have this lure around Hollywood that ‘you’re going to get your big break if you keep your head down and work hard,’ but I don’t think it works that way. When you haven’t proven yourself, you have to do it for yourself. It took me eight years to make my first film and I was involved in raising every dollar, and nothing would have happened if I hadn’t spent every waking hour working to get it made.

Bravo, Mari! Thank you so much.

P.S. More beauty uniforms, including a mountain-climbing neuroscientist and a 69-year-old stylist.

(Photo of Mari and Melissa McCarthy by Mary Cybulski.)

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  1. Patricia says...

    I’m not sure if Mari will ever see this comment, because it is so far after the publish date, but I just wanted her to know how much I am enjoying her in The Queen’s Gambit. Her performance is so moving, so tender, and funny and a little heartbreaking. Way to go!

  2. I am a big fan of Mister Rodgers and loved this trip you take the readers on to the set of the movie! Thank you for this, good read!

  3. Kat says...

    Marielle: you seem like an incredible human and I loved reading this profile.
    I want to thank you, too, for being a friend and mentioning that entirely unglamorous and affordable Neosporin product I’d never heard of. That stuff saved my sanity and fixed me right up following a brutal flu/sinus infection/ bleeding flaking lips week.
    Really goes to show that small things we do or say can have a profound, positive impact on a stranger – including a lip ointment suggestion! :)

    • Delfina says...

      I agree with you on how small things we do or say can have a profound and positive impact on a stranger, i think a lot of people tend to forget this, but words do and can have impact no matter how small or big it is. I think her speaking on how she loves the more ” busy eyebrow look” goes to show how not EVERY female NEEDS to wear makeup to feel beautiful or empowered(unless that is what makes them feel beautiful and empowered.) and that sometimes less is better, and that we dont need to follow every single norm posed on society. Along with her hair cut, i think it looks awesome and goes to show that hair is just something that has the potential to make us feel some sort of way-whether positively or negatively- but other hairstyles such as having short hair may do the same and we just need to get out of our comfort zones !

  4. Emily says...

    “A mistake people make is that they feel like they have to wait for someone to give them permission to start working.”

    WOW – I’ve been trying to find the words to capture this feeling, and this is bang on. Thank you for another excellent interview that goes so far beyond a beauty routine.

  5. Katrina says...

    This was truly awesome. I loved the whole profile. Thank you Marielle and the CoJ team!!

    Ps. Still dreaming about Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s… :)

  6. janine says...

    I loved this!!! Harold and Maude is one of my all-time favorite films, too. And I LOVED A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I’m co-writing a screenplay now with 2 other women so what she said about making your own work and not needing permission to do so really spoke to me. A few years ago I never would have thought I could write a film, and now I’m doing it (whether or not it ever actually gets made, it’s been so much fun and an incredible learning process).

  7. Marielle Heller is your neighbor??!?! Okay. OKAY. You have the best life. We get it, Joanna. ;) But really — someone so brilliant is a cup of sugar away. I’d be intimidated all. of. the. time. Love her movies. A Beautiful Day was just… wow. So thoughtful and trippy and unique. I adored it. Her films have such an ethereal quality. Okay I’m done. Great interview! Fangirl, out.

  8. Oh, wow! So interesting to learn that Harold and Maude is her all-time favorite because it’s mine too. And I thought A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood was the best film of the year. If the Oscars had gone my way, Marielle would’ve been nominated and won for the best director, the film would’ve won best picture, Matthew Rhys would’ve been nominated and won for best leading actor, and Tom Hanks would’ve won best supporting actor! p.s. I love any posts which feature filmmakers, actors, etc.

  9. What an inspiring life, Marielle!

  10. I really loved this beauty uniform article. Thank you, Joanna!

    I do think it would be great, especially in the context of a beauty uniform article, to bring awareness and light to whether or not the subject has used any anti-aging stuff like botox or fillers. It helps to bring reality and understanding in an age where these tactics are so common, even for women in their 20s. I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with them at all and I’d love to know more about the pros and cons of living with them from women who’ve had them done as a personal choice.

    Also, I LOVED A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I thought it was an incredible film. How cool to read about the woman behind the film. Thank you for such a wonderful, heartwarming story. I can honestly say that the movie changed my outlook on how important kindness is, especially for today. It is so incredibly easy to be angry and to judge, but those are rarely the highest and most emotionally evolved responses if you want to actually create change. We’re all just walking around with pain. Kindness is what helps us break through and break down that pain.

  11. moonvirgo says...

    Finally someone else says BIG is one of there top three movies! When I first met my husband (20 yrs ago!) he asked and when I gave that answer, he almost didn’t ask me for a 2nd date! Thanks for this long overdue confirmation!

  12. Jax says...

    I know Marielle is American (born in Marin), but she looks so French, even Parisian. Even more so with that cute short Hepburn-esque cut.
    Anyway, nice beauty profile!

  13. Elena says...

    I love her work. Can you ever forgive me? is one of my favorites. I haven’t seen A Beautiful Day In Th Neighborhood yet, but I’m due.

    The way Mr. Rogers talks to children, and truly all people, is so beautiful. I’m so glad she took on the project… AND can I just say? Tom Hanks!!! :)

  14. Ellen says...

    Since the birth of my first son almost five years ago (eeeps!), I’ve been using Lansinoh, or any similar Lanolin product designed for cracked, breastfeeding nipples, on other chapped areas. I figured—this works on my chapped nipples, why not my lips and elbows and cuticles? I love it. It’s unscented, and I figure if a baby can safely ingest it multiple times a day for the first weeks of life, it’s gotta be safe for me, too. I use it on my kids’ dry lips too.

    • TS says...

      SAME! It makes the best chapstick!!

    • Ari says...

      My friends and I learned this trick in middle school when we heard about it from an older “cool girl”, who had an infant sister. This was before we even knew the purpose of nipple cream to begin with; we thought all adults just moisturized their nipples!!!

    • Ellen says...

      Haha, too funny, Ari.

    • Katherine says...

      Every midwife after each of my three were born would all tell me to keep using Lansinoh on my lips and all of the midwives -non mother’s included- all used it as lip balm too!

  15. J says...

    Omg, you’re neighbors with 1/3 of The Lonely Island?! Amazing!!!

  16. Becca says...

    It’s cool how different she looks in each picture. I especially loved that black dress with the gold detail and puffed sleeves. I agree she looks stunning as a redhead, funny how sometimes we aren’t born with what suits us best.

  17. AE says...

    My gosh– that haircut is so, so lovely on her! I don’t have children but I hope to show up for them and to really listen….I think it makes a big difference.

  18. Sara says...

    You realize you’re one degree closer to Samberg now, right?

    • Alison says...

      Same thought! You’ve been holding out on us, Jo! :)

  19. As a writer who just who her first screenplay (and knocking on doors in Hollywood) I love Marielle’s comment about not waiting for permission. It’s daunting and scary and I often have to remind myself “why NOT me?”

  20. Lindsay CHapman says...

    Love this! My favorite blogger featuring one of my favorite ladies!

  21. Emily L says...

    This is a lovely, thoughtful interview. I always love seeing pictures of Jorma Taccone; he always looks joyful. You can tell he loves his family.

  22. Alison says...

    OMG YOUR NEIGHBOR IS BOOTH JONATHAN

    haha :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg hahaha i’ve never met her husband and knew his name but didn’t realize he was that actor! crazy!!!

    • Kim says...

      LOL.

  23. Sarah says...

    I’m all for active listening with kids. This is obviously important for dealing with big feelings and managing tantrums. But nobody told me that’s also when they become hilarious. By daughter’s gets up to her best antics when I just step back and let her take the lead. 100% worth the effort.

  24. Melinda says...

    I just saw A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood and can’t stop thinking about it and how much we need this film right now as an antidote to toxic masculinity. I so enjoyed reading more about the woman who made it. Thanks Mari, it’s lovely you have a neighbor in Joanna and her family. ☺️

    • dana says...

      Honest question: Can someone please explain toxic masculinity to me? I hear the term a lot, but I’m never 100% sure what exactly it means. I’ve googled it, but that still leaves me with lots of questions.

    • Nadja says...

      Hi Dana!

      Toxic masculinity is the social structure that tells boys that certain emotions, like anger, are “masculine” and are okay to express, while others, like sadness or crying, are “feminine” and must not be expressed. Toxic masculinity tells boys that showing “feminine” emotion is a sign of weakness, and suppressing them is a sign of strength and toughness.

      In actuality, it’s healthy, normal, and necessary for everyone to feel and share their emotions – emotional connection is the basis of human interaction! Many psychologists believe that toxic masculinity helps explain why the vast majority of violent crimes are committed by men – they’re conditioned to respond with anger and violence instead of using their full emotional spectrum.

      I hope this helps!

    • Tracey says...

      Dana – just like there are toxic mushrooms and safe mushrooms there is toxic masculinity and safe masculinity. And fun fact, traditional masculine and feminine traits are in all of us regardless of gender. Toxic is when a little boy is shamed because he shouldn’t cry or act like a “princess”, thus being raised to not emote. The down river effects of this is that by adulthood he is stifled in the emotions that would be manly to emote: anger, jealousy, rage, aggression – all ok. Joy, fear, kindness: not ok. There’s a chance that the men around you don’t exhibit this toxicity, and that’s ok, but it’s important to acknowledge that that’s not everyone’s experience. There’s been a lot said about toxic masculinity from the space of it affecting women but I witness it daily in my kind, gentle, loving husband as he learns to be himself and like who he is despite 36 years of being told he shouldn’t. The path to equality is both raising up women, as well as allowing men to be soft and kind and nurturing. Dismantling old tropes about what makes a man is essential in that.

  25. Carrie says...

    ” But if you give kids space to answer for themselves, you’ll be surprised by what they say. Feeling comfortable with silences can allow for more honest conversations.”

    I feel like this is the best parenting advice I’ve ever heard. Thank you.

    • Susan says...

      I was going to copy this quote in a comment here, too! Couldn’t agree more.

      Thank you for this great interview/beauty uniform piece.

  26. Chelsea says...

    I love that her favorite movies were Big and Philadelphia growing up, and she has now directed a movie starring Tom Hanks! What an incredible experience!

    Also, as someone that doesn’t wear much make up, and often goes without it completely, I love that in most of these photos she is wearing little to no make up. She has such a natural, beautiful look.

    • Kinga says...

      Yes! Also, I was so happy by this piece being about her and her experience only. Seeing the pictures of Tom Hanks, I was secretly afraid there would be a “So how’s it working with this super duper world-famous man” question and – it didn’t come and THANK YOU for that. So, so much more interesting to hear about her raising funding, persisting in her profession and her thoughts on hair and parenting. I’m not a parent but similar things hold for interacting with friends, colleagues and family I think.

  27. Meghan says...

    Lovely uniform and her outlook is really grounded. Thanks for the great information!

  28. Ann says...

    Love seeing stories of people that donate their hair. I’ve done it, my sister, and my son! Can’t wait to binge all her movies!! I love that short haircut on her too!

  29. Neil says...

    I love her answers toward the end about why she was drawn to the Mr. Rogers story, complex feelings, and listening!
    Also, my 1-year old niece is named Marielle–it’s such a beautiful name.

  30. Jane I. says...

    A+ for best dramatic haircut! I had suuuper short hair for a while and the upkeep was horrible! I’ve been growing it out for over a year, but this makes me want to give it another go. thanks for the inspo!

  31. Laura says...

    Usually when you hear parenting observations/advice they always seem so unobtainable. That is why my heart did a happy dance when she was talking about truly listening to her child. Such a simple, beautiful change that I can absolutely reflect on and attempt to do without feeling like it is making things more overwhelming. Wonderful interview!

  32. Yulia says...

    As an aspiring writer and director who just made her first foray into filmmmaking, I would love to hear more from her about how women can make their voices heard. I don’t think I have it in me to fundraise for another film, at least not from friends and family, and I am at a loss as to how to get my scripts in front of the right people. Coming from publishing, film seems to have even more gatekeepers. An aspiring novelist can send their draft to certain literary agents without a connection, but, from what I’ve been told, Hollywood agents just don’t look at unsolicited scripts. With all of the talk about representation in Hollywood, I’d so love a full interview with her on how we can address these issues! She’s got a front-row seat to how it all works!

    • Sandra says...

      Do you listen to the “Happier in Hollywood” podcast? The hosts are TV writers, but I think it might be helpful.

    • B says...

      Yes. Would love some behind the scenes of her job. I’m very intrigued by film and television lately.

    • Emily says...

      I would also love to see behind the scenes look at her work. As an employee working for a bureaucracy I’m fascinated by the entertainment industry and how it really works!

    • Yulia says...

      Sandra, I don’t, but thank you so much for the suggestion!

  33. Abby says...

    Such a cool interview!! Her advice on making your own work really struck a cord. Really love the format and how it explores so many different elements of beauty.

  34. Cynthia says...

    Such an inspiring post. I’m glad she donated her hair. It’s so cool you are neighbors and friends.

  35. Meghan says...

    I absolutely love Marielle’s films, so this interview was such a treat to read. Thank you!

  36. KAra says...

    I’ll second Children with Hairloss. My kiddo had her very first haircut after kindergarten – she wad waist-length, thick, wavy golden locks. Just gorgeous! I wanted her to donate the 18″ to something important, and found this Organization. They provide no-cost wigs and hairpieces to children only (they don’t sell the human hair to other wig makers, like some other orgs do). She had so much hair that we were able to send enough for 2 hair pieces! We still both feel really good about it, I thought it would make her feel more connected to the process knowing it was for another child. No regrets, and she’s growing it out again now to do it again.

  37. Daphne Phillips says...

    Her dad was my chiropractor for YEARS and yes, he is a redhead! I have listened to him tell me of her journey along the way, and I know he is bursting at the seams with pride about her success. Loved this interview, thank you.

  38. Daniah says...

    As a woman of color, COJ is the one place where women can be their authentic selves and have that celebrated. The beauty of this space is that it draws in women from all backgrounds and walks of life, since it focuses on universal topics all women can relate to. I’m not white, don’t have kids, and don’t live in NYC, but I read this blog everyday since I find its honesty so beautiful and refreshing. Keep up the great work Jo. <3

    • M says...

      What a lovely comment! I am middle aged black woman and frequent this site for the same reasons.

    • Sara says...

      This comments section is the best place on the internet. Jugs to you, Daniah. Glad to share this space with you.

    • Sara says...

      Oh my word, HUGS to you. Not jugs. I just gave myself a real life LOL.

    • Caitlin says...

      LOL I googled “jugs to you” before seeing the follow-up comment because I liked the sound of it and wasn’t sure what it meant. I might double down and make it a thing. ;)

    • Holly says...

      I am so into “jugs to you” as a thing! Cannot stop laughing over here. I am going to say it to all my gal pals for galentine’s day tomorrow. Maybe I’ll even make cards. Thanks for the smile, Sara :)

    • Sara says...

      I love you all. Maybe we can make “jugs to you” like the “Tits up” that Mrs. Maisel and Susie say to each other before each show. :)

  39. Lisa says...

    Wow! She is one COOL chick – and she seems so confident too! I love this, thanks for the post. Hoping her energy rubs off on me today ;)

  40. Tricia says...

    What a stunning woman. Marielle’s spirit is captured in these images and it is obvious her presence would bring about a sense of calm to a room. She seems very enchanting. Thank you for sharing!

  41. dana says...

    Wait!! She didn’t share her sunscreen and as a fellow fair-skinned girl, I’m dying to know!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’ll ask her!

  42. mb says...

    spelling note :)
    *Hair dyeing not dying

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you!!!

  43. Dominique says...

    This was such a beautiful interview. I loved her comments on listening and hair. I second the chopping your hair thing. I shaved my head in college and have never felt more free about my appearance.

  44. Katie says...

    This is the red I’ve been looking for!!! Any chance you could ask/she knows the color specs of her hair?? It’s such a “natural” red!

    • Kim says...

      I’m curious, too. I’m a natural disparity strawberry blond but I want to kick it up a notch.

  45. Ashlee says...

    I LOVE the sequin dress story. That made my day.

  46. Jessica says...

    What an awesome, beautiful, badass career woman and mom! Love!

  47. Becky says...

    Loved Can You Ever Forgive Me!

    Love that she embraces her fair skin ? it has taken me years. As a redhead I’m always a little perplexed about makeup outside of foundation but I saw an awesome trick that I want to try. Take a shade darker of face powder and apply it like blush. It will give that healthy appearance without looking unnatural. It could be a well known technique but seems genius to this amateur ?

  48. Anonymous says...

    This might be too nitty gritty but when other women say they’re prone to breakouts, I’m always curious as to why. My breakouts are 100% hormonal and I’ve never found an external product that actually makes a difference. COJ, would you will be willing to ask about this in future beauty uniforms? If someone has hormonal acne and loves product, then I would be more inclined to try it.

    • Sara says...

      I have hormonal acne, and the only product line that has ever helped me in a longterm way is Paula’s Choice. I use their CLEAR set (a cleanser, exfoliator, bp treatment) and it is legitimate magic. I’ve never tried a Paula’s Choice product I haven’t liked, and have heard similar reviews from other women with hormonal acne issues. They sell a very affordable trial/travel size kit, which is how I got hooked.

    • Kara says...

      yes, Paula’s Choice! I read about it here on CoJ from a My Beauty Uniform last year. Their beta hydroxy liquid for night time is fabulous. Clears very well w/o burning off my skin.

    • jules says...

      Mine are almost always hormonal as well and products that help are usually ones that will keep my skin even to combat the breakouts themselves. I love witch hazel for this- anytime it seems like I might break out I just put some on after washing and it will usually clear up by the next day! It’s really helps with the inflammation and irritation and brings it back to normal.

    • Miruska says...

      I second Paula’s Choice. I have hormonal breakouts (on my chin area) and using her BHA 2% liquid every night with 10% AHA weekly has done wonders for my skin. Breakouts are minimal or gone and the overall skin texture and look have improved greatly (dark spots are gone). Highly recommend to try.

    • Alyssa says...

      Yes to Paula’s Choice!! At age 32, I also have what I think is hormonal acne (usually near the jaw line), and Paula’s Choice products seem to be the only thing that keep my breakouts at bay.

    • Lauren E. says...

      SAME. Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery Serum works amazingly to even out my skin tone and minimize breakouts, but all that ever REALLY helped me get rid of them for good was birth control.

    • Kate says...

      My mom has amazing skin and has only ever used almond oil as face and body moisturizer. I figured I’d be all natural and minimal like her, but my face is like “hahahahahaha no.” I finally bit the bullet and started using Biologique Recherche Lotion P50 and it seriously attacks my hormonal acne like nothing else. I’ve been using it for maybe 7 months now and have only had 2 super minimal breakouts in the one very specific spot on my chin that used to break out at least once a month.

    • Kara says...

      I also only have hormonal breakouts (chin). I find that spot treating them as they start appearing is the best way to deal with it! I know that isn’t a great answer but my skin is really sensitive and easily dry- so all over acne treatments make it freak out. I spot treat with Beauty Counter’s salicylic acid or Burt’s Bees Blemish stick. That way I only am drying out the pimple.

  49. lesley says...

    thank you for the listening advice. i needed it today.

  50. jules says...

    As a Pittsburgher our city has always had this love for Mister Rogers, his story, and what he stood for. It’s so nice to see him having this moment right now on the national stage when kids and parents could really use some of his advice.

    It’s also really nice to read about some products for skin that tends to break out a lot. I’m always afraid to try anything new but will definitely give these a trial!

    • Abesha1 says...

      One of the most exciting moments of my years in Pittsburgh was seeing Mr Rogers walk by on the street! Just knowing he was so real, and so caring. And readers, I got engaged when I lived there! So that’s saying something about important moments!!!

  51. liz says...

    LOVED this interview! She is genuinely beautiful! :)

  52. Julie says...

    Such was a lovely interview. I haven’t seen Beautiful Day yet, but I loved Can You Ever Forgive Me.

    “Feeling comfortable with silences can allow for more honest conversations.”
    This can be so difficult-when my husband and I are having an intense discussion about our relationship this often happens, and it usually (USUALLY) leads to one of us having the courage to say what’s really bothering us.

  53. amy says...

    I loved this interview!

  54. Val says...

    Wait…so you are just one person removed from Tom Hanks and Melissa McCarthy. You could all be hanging out together.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahaha I wish!

    • mb says...

      Even better–she’s two-people removed to Andy Samberg!

  55. Kayla Smith says...

    Namedrop much, Jo? We get it, you’re a wealthy white woman.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Oh not at all! Just meant to say that she is a lovely, down to earth person who hangs out in the neighborhood!

    • Sithara Kodali says...

      Whoa. I don’t comment often, but this feels pretty harsh and unwarranted.

    • TJE says...

      Such an unnecessary (and rude) comment and definitely not the feeling I had reading this post!

    • Julie says...

      Jesus, this is insanely rude and judgemental.

    • liz says...

      jeez — That was mean. FYI — That’s the beauty of Brooklyn (and other parts of NY and other big cities), lots of people of different backgrounds and “statuses” live there together, often very close to each other. You don’t need to section off the whole world

    • Melissa says...

      What an obnoxious reply. Can women please stop being so nasty and judgmental towards each other?!
      If you have a problem with her blog, her friends or her success, maybe you should move along. I’ve seen her blog filled with various types of women from all different backgrounds. Spread a little kindness instead of negativity….Mr. Rogers would thank you.

    • Maggie says...

      Yikes, someone is having a bad day! Loved this interview, Jo.

    • Becky says...

      Wow definitely uncalled for and that comment is a reflection of you not Jo.
      Rock on Jo. Love all the awesome women that you introduce to this community. She’s new to me yet I know her work.

    • Heather says...

      Woah this is completely ridiculous and unwarranted. It really doesn’t even make sense. If she wanted to just name drop for the sake of it, she could have done it countless other times.

      Instead, she genuinely thought a friend of hers had something interesting to say and wanted to share it with her community which I am grateful for.

      More than that though, if you read the blog at all then you’d know that’s just not who Joanna is.

      This is just anger for the sake of anger and doesn’t really have any place here.

    • Em says...

      While the tone of this comment isn’t great, maybe what Kayla is implying is that it doesn’t seem relevant/necessary to preface this post by saying Mari is Jo’s “friend and neighbor”.

      Why include it if not to name drop?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Thanks for your note, Em! I always mention when people we profile are friends, it’s just a habit! I’ve done it hundreds of times through the years. As a side note, I also wanted to show that Mari is around town, at the park, etc — just like any of us. Hope that helps!

    • Sarah W says...

      Kudos to you Joanna for posting this comment when you didn’t have to, and your genuine response to it. I love that you are a woman who works hard and lifts up other women!

    • E says...

      Jo this was a lovely feature. I actually loved that you mentioned Mari is a friend and neighbor because it really grounds the article and reminds us she’s a regular real person in addition to being a successful director, actor, etc., which can be easy to forget. Kayla Smith, sending you love and understanding in case you’ve been misunderstood or don’t feel seen or heard.

    • Heather says...

      Now hold on a minute…

      Joanna is a gifted writer, and she’s created something masterful with her site. We all want to be friends with her! Why shouldn’t a famous person (who, like us normies, also wants friends) want to get to know her?

      I’m sure some of Marielle’s friends are like, “Woah, you KNOW Joanna Goddard?”

    • Jeanne says...

      Whoa. This sentiment came out of left field for me so I felt the need to say something. As a minority, I feel that Joanna and Cup of Jo goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to represent all walks of life. They are incredibly inclusionary and when they miss a mark (albeit extremely rarely), they are more than willing to own up to their mistakes and improve in the future. Kayla, I think your comment might be more reflective of the defensiveness you feel rather than what Joanna and her team posts.

    • Tricia says...

      How ‘bout “she’s bringing attention to and supporting a female director?”

    • Cooper says...

      Haha, I personally adore name-dropping; my favorite icebreaker question is “Have you ever had a celebrity encounter?” It generates THE BEST stories. By the way, I recently passed by Ryan Reynolds :)

    • Karen says...

      Holy moly! Yes this is an incredibly unkind comment. AND so true what a commenter said about Brooklyn/NYC— a reason it is my home— there is incredible diversity here and opportunities to meet people from all paths, converging. One evening I spent 40 minutes with a famous A-list actor as we both were lost, trying to find our way to the train in Dumbo (when that area was less populated). I have friends with much less and much more than me, I’m currently on Medicare. Not making excuses for systemic income inequality in this country. But let’s point fingers where pointy fingers are due. Not here.
      And… love this interview!!
      HELL YES WOMEN DIRECTORS.

    • AMK says...

      This caught me off guard too, and made my stomach tighten. I thought the “neighbor” comment was so fitting under the fantastic photo from _A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood_. The quick nod to their relationship felt particularly apropos and I loved the familiarity of the profile.
      Also appreciate Jo’s quick and thoughtful reply though, of course.

    • Moue says...

      To Em;

      “… by saying Mari is Jo’s “friend and neighbor”.
      Why include it if not to name drop?”

      Um, maybe because it’s true?

    • K says...

      This comment is so incredibly catty and uncalled for that I can’t help but feel that it must be the comment of a troll… And by “troll”, I mean someone who’s intentionally trying to stir shit up for fun.

      Jo & co, please don’t take these kinds of meanspirited comments to heart. Some critical comments certainly have value and can promote learning, but this one just doesn’t fit the bill.

      As a visible minority, I appreciate you and your work so, so much. Keep on keeping on! And give yourself a warm pat on the back from me.

    • K says...

      Yeesh. Look, this is just how it is in certain crowded parts of the world like NYC. Plenty of people who are certainly not all wealthy or white living in close proximity to recognizable talents like film directors, actors, athletes, artists. I was broke as hell when I lived in Brooklyn and Los Angeles, yet I regularly found myself at the same parks and grocery stores as “famous” people. That didn’t make me or them special. We were just people, going about our lives as part of the same neighborhood, walking dogs and buying toilet paper.

      You lose the ability to feel starstruck the longer you live in a place like that because you see close-up how famous people are mostly quite ordinary. So many other things matter more than fame. Like Marielle being a mother who listens well and a kind neighbor.

  56. RBC says...

    Beautiful! Inspiring! And the story about wearing the sequin gown to the school picnic had me tearing up on my commute. Thank you for sharing!

  57. Laura says...

    I really wish that you’d add in a question about “tweakments”. I mean, I would say that this person has botox at the very least, and the claim that she is into all natural Dr Haushka etc just seems….disingenuos.

    I really don’t mean to sound like a troll. It interests me greatly that we as women are now expected to look plump of cheek and smooth of skin and that this is supposed to happen through use of a good night’s sleep and organic skincare. I only stopped looking exhausted when I started having botox and filler in my under eye area. I don’t feel free to admit this to most of my friends as I think I’d be judged. I feel as though the mainly high level professional women that you feature here will have, at the very least, thought about these kinds of treatments. But they are still clandestine and never mentioned.

    Puzzling to me.

    Thanks for the content.
    Laura

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Thank you so much for your feedback! I agree, it would be really interesting to discuss. I don’t think Mari gets Botox etc but I would love to talk to someone in a future beauty uniform. Please stay tuned!

    • tina crisas says...

      Laura, I obviously do not know Marielle, but by looking at her face, and there are some close up shots that do not seemed filtered, she does not look at all as though she has had botox. I think no matter how perfect or young a face is, when they have had work, it kinds shows.
      I read that she is 40? At 40 my skin and face shape was perfect, I am now nearing 46 and am only now just considering a tiny bit of filler at the corners of my mouth for a tiny lift- (if that is even possible).
      Some people age better, and some people are just not into botox/fillers, (she does strike me as the latter) it’s all good, I think that if “tweakments” were involved, they wouldn’t be dodged in an interview on this site. (My opinion)

    • Laura says...

      The fact that she’s pale and super-consistent about sunscreen probably really helps! As I hit middle age, I’ve noticed a visible and dramatic difference among the faces of my friends who used sunscreen in their youth and teens and those who didn’t.

    • Mary Beth says...

      @Laura – I wonder if it is possible that her very fair skin and lifelong use of sun hats and sunscreen contributes to smooth, healthy skin. Personally, I do regret that I wasn’t more careful with my skin in my younger days – it really makes a difference. My daughter who is now in her 40’s has gorgeous skin. She too is very fair and has always worn hats and sunscreen and she is simply not a person who would consider botox.

      Honestly, at 70 years of age, the best advice I can I could pass along is to protect your skin from sun exposure every single day.

    • K says...

      My stepmom is 49, turning 50 in a couple months, and is very open about her skincare (and has spoken very openly about her willingness to seriously consider relatively non-invasive anti-aging procedures). That being said – she’s never been a sun-worshipper, and she has worn SPF 45 every single day (summer or winter, rain or shine) on her face and decolletage every day for as long as I can remember (I’m 30 and she’s raised me since preschool). She is very, very pale. And her skin looks seriously phenomenal… I have about the same amount of light lines as she does. Sunscreen really can work wonders. So can Botox! And fillers! (When used judiciously, obv.) But it’s plain silly to assume that every 40-year-old woman with relatively smooth skin and striking features must be using fillers or Botox.

      Joanna, as usual, good on you for your even-keeled, non-defensive response.

  58. Heather says...

    Gosh this was so good! Love what she said about filling in the answers for your kids as I definitely have a tendency to do this. It’s something I’ll be working on!

    And that part about her gown and the need to show up for your kids – oof that prompted some teary eyes!

    • Jen says...

      Ditto to the thoughts in this comment. I also loved the advice Marielle gave about not waiting for someone’s permission to work on something you consider to be interesting or important, or waiting for someone else to provide an opportunity for you. Very inspiring. What a talented and thoughtful gift to this world she is!