What Are Your Kids’ Personalities?

Hmm… I love this kind of conversation. Personalities are so interesting to me. I have 3 children: a boy, a girl, and another boy. Our eldest child is highly intelligent, verbal, extremely sensitive, bossy, creative, and big into quality time. He likes to know the plan, to have things explained. Our middle child, since the day she was born, has been the most deliberate individual I have ever known in my life. She does not do a thing she doesn’t want to do and she doesn’t do anything until she’s good and ready. My grandmother calls her our tomboy princess because she’s into princesses and twirly dresses and pink, but she is also the most likely of the 3 to be naked, stomp in a puddle, or get her hands dirty. And lastly, our freckle-faced, red-headed caboose…He is firey and temperamental, demanding and loud. He is the most physically affection of the 3, actually just the most physical period. He is my snuggle bug and I am his person. He is always good for a laugh and frequently, purposefully, does things to make us smile.
I love the differences between the 3. I love the challenge of raising 3 distinct individuals. I love knowing them. I love loving them.

Our first is very intense, loud, in your face, and great at everything. He makes all kinds of friends and I’ve been told repeatedly that he’s a “nice guy” or their child really likes him. He can communicate like an adult and questions EVERYTHING! Adults can get irritated because he notices nonsense quickly and will call out unnecessary steps to accomplish something.

I found our second hard to “parent” when he was a baby. I couldn’t get a grasp on him. He’s cautious and introverted crotchety and extremely affectionate. He’s our 80 yr old man trapped in a 4 yr old body. I joke that God gave him to us because he knew I’d let him enjoy a sip of black coffee, trounce around naked eating peaches, or entertain his desire for dark chocolate. He will remind me to grocery shop for snacks, grips my hair and snuggles in with a “you’re my best mommy EVER!” He’s slower to warm but LOVES playing with his brother’s friends. We were nervous for him to start preschool because I don’t know that he even knows what he likes or if he just does what his brother likes. He has also made friends and is just a relaxed easy going very active kid.

They are complete opposites except when they seem to be exactly the same and good luck figuring that out.

1000% agree with your description of Anton just from pictures of him.

Today, I was sitting on the boardwalk in Williamsburg reading and I notice a boy on the tiniest skateboard. I asked the woman he was with about the board, as my three year old is bugging me for one. The woman signals the older boy asking about the board and lo and behold it’s Toby and Anton! They were super sweet telling me about the skateboard. I still think my 3 yo is too young but in a couple of years I’ll look into the penny skateboard recommended by Toby. Really sweet kids Joanna!

My daughter’s daycare providers and teachers are always asking us what we do at home to have raised such a joyful, energetic little girl. To be honest, I have no idea! Where I was a painfully shy bookworm, my four year old is an outgoing, often loud, bundle of energy and giggles who hasn’t met a tree she doesn’t want to climb or a person she can’t befriend.

My youngest’s personality is just starting to emerge (he will be 1 later this month), but he is already so different from my eldest in a million little ways that I can’t even put into words yet. I’ve been thinking to myself, wow they are so different, since day 1.

I think growing up relating to our siblings is only part of the “birth order” story. How our parents relate to us is formative as well. Think about all those memes about parents fretting over a first baby and then letting the second, third, fourth and so on children parachute off the playground equipment and eat dirt, etc.

I really struggled mentally after my first birth, but after my second, I felt like myself (such a relief). I wonder whether that difference so early on in their lives will affect their personalities.

My daughter (nearly 6) is all make-believe: fairies, unicorns, dragons, ninjas, superheroes. My son is all reality and facts even when playing make-believe. You’re superman I’ll say to him when he’s wearing his cape. “I’m not superman. I’M Leonard PLAYING superman”

Our oldest boy (4) is a force. A dictator. We call him Kim Jong when he’s being particularly demanding. He whines a lot but can also turn it on at a moments notice. He started speaking at 9 months, and using huge words when he was 1. (“Delicious! Astounding! Furious!”) He’s clearly intellectual, but is a ball of fury when he doesn’t get his way. His cuddles are far and few, but its always such a privilege to get affection from him.

Our youngest boy (1) is the opposite. He rarely cries. Isn’t affected by his brothers jealousy. He can’t be bothered to talk yet, since his brother does all the talking. He smiles at strangers, eats everything, is curious, wide eyed and joyful. He’s just so much easier, am I allowed to say that? I love them both endlessly, but sometimes I cannot believe how different they are! Parenting is such a crazy adventure. I laugh a lot.

Love reading about your kids! They seem wonderful <3

That last photo of the boys holding hands gave me a bad case of that “Ache” mentioned in previous posts. My first and only is 18 months:)

Aw what a sweet post.. It’s crazy how different siblings can be with the exact same upbringing. I’m not a parent, but a piano teacher and despite that idea I do see some serious similarities between kids + parents, but more in regard to their outlook and attitude. Maybe it’s something about the parents setting the model of how to react to different situations.
Side note….I remember being FASCINATED by some news special I watched as a kid about twins separated at birth that basically all ended up with identical lives (career, styles, personality, etc.)

I have 3 children, all pretty different. The craziest thing to watch are my fraternal twin boys! They are completely different in every single way, and they shared a womb! Nature vs. Nurture is really put to the test in our household!!

I love this post. My two are very different. One is very day-dreamy and philosophical, laughs at her self and generally goes with the flow. The other is all about lists, routines, sticking to commitments (she writes a book log everyday for the last 231 days without missing a day. She is 6). We went for a long walk around a lake the other day and it was so interesting watching them and hearing them on this walk. The older philosophical one was humming and climbing, talking about life and the younger one, who has said before that she hates nature and adventure, said “Mum, I’m having a good time. It’s a miracle!”. She was like, ok, I’m getting this, the sun is shining, there are flowers, this is what a walk is about. It was great.

Oh I love this. I have 14 year old twins (a girl and a boy). One is truly left brained (is in a robotics-engineering program in high school) while the other is right brained (arts high school, for dance). One wears there heart on their sleeve, but the other is actually more emotional. It never ceases to amaze me the wondrous difference between siblings raised by the same people, the same age. Yet – despite these differences their loyalty to one another is second to none. It’s fierce and strong.

I have 4 kids, 3 boys and 1 girl. All very different. My 12 yo son is analytical and detail-oriented, a gifted mathematician. A bit prickly on the outside (could be adolescence talking) but sweet underneath. My 9 yo daughter is creative and kind–maybe the kindest person I have met in life. She is always looking to include everyone. While it is hard to provoke her to be angry, once she is, watch out! My 6 yo son alternates between being sweet and being mischievous. He is witty and even at 6 can tell a mean joke. My 3 yo son is joyful and enthusiastic. He does all things whole-heartedly from running across the yard, to singing a song, to sleeping, to crying. He has been a lovely and loving baby to our family.

I find it so interesting to think about their inborn temperament and how their place in our family shapes who they are becoming.

It often feels to me like kids naturally fill up the space that’s left in a family.

My oldest is dramatic, wildly curious, and 100% self-motivated — he couldn’t care less if we’re pleased or not with him. My youngest is cuddly and easygoing to a fault, and wants nothing more than to be part of whatever is going on.

Each has been that way since birth and I don’t doubt that it’s part of their genetic code, but it also feels so symbiotic, like each one is growing into spaces left by the other. I sometimes I think about them like plants growing toward the sunlight and I often wonder how they’d be different if they were growing up as only children or with different siblings.

Even at ages 4.5 and 16 months, my 2 boys show distinct, contrasting personalities.
Also, that last pic of the boys holding hands makes me misty-eyed with hope that my boys will be dear friends as they grow!

I have two boys. My oldest, 16, is athletic, academic, quiet and reserved. My youngest, 15, is also athletic, academic, social and whatever is opposite of reserved. At a recent doctor physical, I mentioned that my older son would rather stay home on a Friday night than go to the high school football games or hang out with friends and I thought it was strange, especially since his younger brother would die before missing out on such an event, and worried that perhaps he was depressed and maybe we should encourage him to get out more. Their doctor just looked at me and said, “they don’t all have to be the wahoo guy”. ❤️

That last photo of your boys holding hands makes me smile and I’m ready to go to bed with that beautiful image. Love is really all we need.

When my daughter was three and we were at her pediatrician’s for a well visit, the doctor remarked that someone was feeling very prissy today – and I shared that she felt very prissy EVERY day. I think that day she was in a sparkly tu-tu, crown and some shiny shoes doing twirls in the corner. And she said to me, “they are who they are” – and it was so nice to know that while I could provide a variety of toys and experiences, she was who she was and it was fine. Several years later I was with a group at a Disney on Ice event and a friend of my friend was just at her wit’s end. Her daughter had come dressed in jeans and a brown turtleneck – she wanted a sword (no wand!) and a Beast doll. I was able to share that bit of wisdom – and the relief on that mom’s face.

My 4-year-old son is gentle and imaginative (like his mama), and my 2-year-old son is loud and very physical. We’ve introduced him as the family extrovert basically since birth. At bedtime they play “huggy” in which the goal of an embrace is to end up rolling on the floor in a soft tackle, like puppies. I rather think it represents their intermingled personalities quite beautifully.

My twin nieces (just 4!) are so different in personality too! One is obsessed with dresses, opening gifts, and is a real little performer! She’s also really observant and kind with amazing natural empathy. The other is obsessed with animals, loves winning at games (already figuring out how to cheat!) and is full of affection and laughs. They’re so sweet together and I hope they grow up always loving their differences as much as we all do.

One thing I’m so aware of though is to avoid giving them reductive ‘labels’ that imply a certain role or expectation in the family. So many of us grew up with those and they suck! (The quiet one, the good one, the fun one, the clever one…)