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It’s complicated. By the wonderful Grace Farris.
P.S. First dates, and relaxing experiences.
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On the clapping when the airplane lands: I have found this to be common on Aer Lingus flights to Ireland and the article also mentions that Ryanair (another Irish airline) has a actual “clap track” at landing. I don’t think this is because the flight was turbulent or scary, but rather excitement at being home (real or ancestral) or starting a vacation, and a sweet way of thanking the pilots and crew for all their efforts.
I’m definitely pro-clapping.
I took my 13 year old to get her haircut, she was begging, said she needed to get the ends cleaned up and trimmed. We talked about getting at least 2 inches cut off. The stylist cut 1/2″. A guy next to my daughter had more hair on the ground than she did. I kid you not. It cost me $50, plus a $10 tip. I was so pissed off.
I’ve never got the whole “hair thing”. I have afro hair and it has never been straightened, relaxed or permed. My mum would put into plaits when we were at home to keep the knots at bay. One of my clearest memories is sitting between my mum’s knees while she rubbed vaseline into the gaps between the little plaits. I am one of 3 sisters and if you were lucky you were last to be plaited, so you got to see the start of the 9.30 film after the news. I grew up in a very white neighbourhood in the 70’s and there were not black hairdressers nearby. My mum had a battle-scarred metal comb with a wooden handle that you put on the gas burner and then combed through the hair………………..my mum used that but never used it on us. I do remember putting a towel on my head, pretending I had long swishy hair. When I was in my thirties I got plaited extensions and the first thing I did was tie them back…………..so annoying!
I now know that I look best with a really short crop and as long as it’s clean and tidy I’m happy. It’s very grey but I like that, I could dye it, but that would be another thing that I don’t get round to doing. I will say that when I get my hair clipper cut it makes me feel so sexy, fierce and perky.
“Sexy, fierce and perky”; I love that. Thanks for sharing these memories too.
I just started following Grace Farris on Instagram. She is hilarious! Totally makes me laugh out loud!
Literally me today! I had my cursor on the ‘schedule appointment’ button for an opening after work…and then bailed.
But is it really patriarchal standards, though?! I think women enjoy doing these beauty related activities for themselves.
Heck, my husband sometimes doesn’t even realize I have gotten a hair cut. He says “it looks the same as before”.
Along the same lines, the only people at work who seem to notice when I have a new/nice outfit on, are the women.
I totally agree. No need to give men power where they have none.
There is a real sense that beauty regimens are patriarchal in origin and currently exist because of more than a whiff of patriarchy. Women may have internalized the idea that it is valuable/fun/worthwhile/expected to be pretty in the myriad of ways women strive for beauty, but it’s hard to ignore that these standards mainly exist for women and are mainly imposed by what men expect of women. Women critique what other women wear and present because we’ve internalized this expectation.
I still think it’s patriarchal standards though because that is what says that women’s worth is based on their appearance. It’s not anything specific about the haircut or outfit themselves, but just the fact that women are spending way more time, effort, and money on their appearances.
I agree with all of these comments that the patriarchal nature of our obsession with the hair on our heads is debatable, but shaving is DEFINITELY a man’s invention.
true! but also the phenomenon (I swear this happens to me every single time I get my haircut) wherein your hair, on the day it’s to be cut, makes a final plea deal with you for clemency by looking amazing. I’ve cancelled appointments over this. Unfortunately, my hair can’t be tricked into being fabulous with multiple, consecutive appointments
Hahaha I have the same exact problem. I just spent two years growing my hair only for it to look stringy and flat most of the time. But I swear, whenever I get fed up and resolve to lop it off, I wake up to gorgeous, wavy, mermaid hair — the exact hair I was *hoping* for. This happens every single time, almost as if my hair knows when I’m eyeballing the scissors. Then, of course, the next day it goes back to being limp. Ha!
Every. Time.
Holy moly! This TOTALLY happens to me, too. It’s so freaking annoying.
Haha!
I think it’s because the follicles are so close to my brain cells. I find myself trying NOT to think about haircuts when I plan one to circumvent this exact subterfuge.
This comment is unrelated to this specific post but I wanted to just give you, Joanna, and you CoJ team some positive feedback about how wonderful your blog is and what a nice community you have created. I read the comments of the posts (of course!) and admit I feel a bit defensive when I read some of the criticisms. I expect you have thicker skin than I do and hopefully pay more attention to the many positive comments than the few negatives, but still, in the moments when those negative comments weigh heavy, here’s a reminder that you are all doing a wonderful job. Your efforts for diversity, conscious-living, genuine endorsements and engaging content are noticed and appreciated. Congratulations to you all!
Perfectly stated…. I could not agree more.
Ab.so.lutely! Joanna and CoJ Team, you rock it and the community that gets created here is the reason it is part of my ritual as others have articulated in that post. It is my happy place to settle on the web- and your aesthetics are lovely-calming, exciting and like the perfect Cup of Jo (my coffee!).
Have a stupendous weekend, feel the unending LOVE and keep up the great things that you are doing here (what happened to more of the mothering around the world articles. I miss those and the ‘highlight your awesome city’ ones as well- for the traveler in me who may be stuck at the time at work/ home!)
thank you so much, these comments made my night!! really, thank you. and tess, we did motherhood around the world for six summers and are just taking a break this summer (because we’re short staffed) but will come back full force next summer! and we’re still doing city guides with a few coming up soon :) thank you!!!! xoxo
I completely agree with this! As one who has let my temper fly at times :(, you have ALWAYS been gracious. I don’t know how you do it. You must be one tough cookie, and yet you are obviously very tender-hearted.
Thank you for creating this space for all of us, and thank you for how you’ve done it!
Wholeheartedly agree x 1000000! I have been a COJ reader since you and Alex were just dating (where has time gone?!) and my daily Cup of Jo ritual has outlasted so, so many otherwise changing rituals and life circumstances. I can still remember a very different, almost foreign, version of myself, with her different hair and different circumstances, stumbling upon your sweet little corner of the world for the first time all those years ago. And in the time since, and all of the days-in, days-out, that this ritual has stayed the same, I’ve always been so grateful that this corner of the world exists. May you feel, through the sometimes impersonal-feeling computer screen, the warmth coming your way from current me, thankful for the many years of beautiful COJ rituals and the many more to come. lots of love to you, Joanna, and your amazing team. xoxo
I have definitely never felt this way. My hair is my best feature and I love everything about getting it done except the price and the time it takes to do balayage on long hair :)
Reminds me of the episode of New Girl where Jess and CeCe flip their hair over and over after they get blow outs. It’s such a hilariously spot-on example of how it feels to get your hair done, lol. My cousin and I send each other the gif often. I think it’s a good thing to show men who probably don’t understand just how good/different it feels to have someone else blow dry your hair
Haha this is perfectly sums up the cycle I go through with my hair. And add into that how it always ends up costing several HUNDREDS of dollars every time I do end get my hair done. Ugh.
I am more: spend hours pinning new haircuts, then when I get to the salon, doubt everything and just ask for a trim :)
Absolutely true
Omg. This is me. I keep canceling balayage appointments only to resolve to do it bc I want to the next time.
HAIR IS EVERYTHING, Anthony.
Lol!! Was just thinking the same thing! Loved that scene!
Ha! I was just scrolling through the comments to see if anyone had quoted this?!!
Joanna – Please do more Fleabag related posts. I’m so NOT over it!!
OMG I just had this exact “debate” today! Which side will win…jury is still out. :)
Hair is everything Anthony!
[still thinking about Fleabag]
Moms need to be pampered in hair salons and coffee shops :) In my town, they are next to each other.
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