Have a Lovely Weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? We’re having our neighbors over tonight for Greek food, and tomorrow the boys and I are watching the original Parent Trap. It makes me feel so nostalgic! Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

I finally found the perfect white T-shirt.

“The tallest man I ever loved.” (NYT)

How to read more books. “Get used to carrying a book around with you wherever you go and reaching for it in all the spare moments you’d usually pull out your phone. (Commutes, lunch breaks, grocery store lines, etc.)”

How cool is this astronaut?

Also, new stamps celebrating the moon landing.

Thumbs up for this two-ingredient appetizer.

Food prints for your kitchen.

The Jane Austen approach to wellness.

10 things that are great in theory, disappointing in practice, haha.

Love this mother/daughter exchange.

Three magical phrases to comfort a dying person. (Content warning: This tells the story of a child.)

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Moriah on personal wedding style: “I wore a pink dress embroidered with flowers! I had no intention of wearing a pink dress, but when I saw it I knew it was the one. The best part was when a woman at our wedding venue asked if she could take a picture of my dress to show her daughter, because she wanted her to know she could wear anything she wanted. I was teased by girls in junior high for how I dressed, so I hope my dress could inspire a girl to be bold with her fashion. I wish all brides could be themselves and wear whatever they want.”

Says Hazle on four fun things: “I used to babysit a little boy, and once he was trying to resist going to bed and said IT WASN’T FAIR his mum and dad had loads of fun when he was asleep. I assured him that they did boring grown-up things like washing the dishes, watching the news, etc, but he swore that they were ‘eating sweets and playing on my Nintendo DS.’ Sure enough, that evening when his parents got home, his dad went straight to the kitchen to grab some chocolates and the Nintendo DS!”

(Photo by Lindsay Meyer Harley.)

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Amanda M

April 4, 2019 5:12pm 5:12 pm

I also just watched the original Parent Trap with my 7 year old daughter and 4 year old son. About 30 minutes into the movie, my son asked, “But where are the parrots?” He thought it was called “The Parrot Trap”!

Megan

April 3, 2019 4:04pm 4:04 pm

this made me crack up today- maybe for Friday’s round up??

https://www.lamag.com/citythinkblog/rejected-vanity-plates/?fbclid=IwAR1J52ioF_VWVbhC37tMrVRSHw79DBvMunpU8FgUK_Zjp7EfmctPO29zUCE

Atsuko

April 3, 2019 11:01am 11:01 am

Despite of the warning, I clicked “three magical phrase.” Yes, my chest became so tight, and I could not hold my tears. It brought me back the days I was working on the pediatric oncology department. It is truly hardest to see the child is in the pain and has the limited lifespan. Reading this type of story is not easy, but this is a good reminder how to live the life and to appreciate any moments with your child.

Amanda

April 2, 2019 12:40pm 12:40 pm

An upgraded version of the kielbasa app- roll puff pastry around the sausage before you slice and bake them. It’s fancy pigs in a blanket.

Emma

April 1, 2019 2:46pm 2:46 pm

My 9 year-old son has just begun the Harry Potter books. I’ll think of Ewan, who sounds like such a delightful and kind soul, when I’m reading with my son. Sending lots of love and healing energy to Jenny and her family.

Jenny

Reply to Emma

April 2, 2019 11:16pm 11:16 pm

Thank you, Emma. Read your son an extra chapter this week and give him a hug from us.

Beth

April 1, 2019 1:23pm 1:23 pm

Jenny, thank you for sharing your story. Sending love to your family.

Gina

April 1, 2019 12:03pm 12:03 pm

When I was in Kindergarten, I was obsessed with the Hailey Mills version of The Parent Trap. I especially loved the scene at the Camp Dance when Sharon and friends cut off the back of Susan’s dress, revealing her undies to everyone and embarrassing her horribly. One day at school, I was jealous of a classmate playing with my friend and decided I would cut her uniform skirt, just like in the movie. I tried to distract her by giving her a pretend haircut, but another kid me going for the skirt, and ratted me out before I could do any damage! Still, I got punished and the teacher told my mom. The movie was banned for a couple weeks as a punishment.

Rachel

April 1, 2019 11:30am 11:30 am

Oh, Jenny. Thank you for sharing your family’s story. I sobbed reading it and thinking of my young son- but I also thought what a gift to have your mother usher you out of this life. I can’t think of anything more painful than having to do that for your child but I also can’t think of anyone I would prefer to love me in my last moments. A mother’s love is so precious and I am sure he felt that. I will never forget your story or Ewan. Sending so much love to your family.

Liz

April 1, 2019 9:40am 9:40 am

I second the comment about the everlane t not lasting more than a single wash. After the first wash it gets shruken AND mishapen, After more washes, it gets holes. It’s a shame the company started mass producing their clothes in China in recent years (they started out by making smaller batches in the US and keeping costs low by “cutting out the middle man”) Sadly, Everlane is no longer as environmentally friendly as they like to pretend they are. (Although, again still sadly, they still prob do a better job than 99 percent of other fashion designers…)

Lisa T

April 1, 2019 7:56am 7:56 am

Yes to carrying a book with you at all times. I love to read on my Kindle at night but I always have an actual book with me in my car or my bag and I read so much during down times. It is so enjoyable and so much better than staring at my phone!

Alex

Reply to Lisa T

April 1, 2019 1:28pm 1:28 pm

Hello. It’s 2019. You can READ ON YOUR PHONE. My entire library is on my phone, and on my Kindle and on any device I sign in on.
Paper books are not the only way to read.

annie

Reply to Lisa T

April 1, 2019 2:13pm 2:13 pm

nothing wrong with loving reading on your phone, alex! some people stare at screens all day and a paper book is simply a welcome break. i personally read and write for 8+ hours on a computer every weekday, and let me tell you, climbing into bed with a book is a cherished, savored, beautiful-to-me moment. and has been ever since i was small. :)

also, books + trains = old-fashioned magic.

Anna

April 1, 2019 4:13am 4:13 am

“Three Magical Phrases” … I don’t have words…. so incredibly heartbreaking. Thank you so much Jenny for sharing your story and I hope it helps to share it in some small way.

Natalie

March 31, 2019 9:26pm 9:26 pm

Loved the article on how to read more! Wandering solo through libraries and book shops and having a giant stack of borrowed and recently purchased, switching from light and fun to serious and dramatic, fiction to non-fiction and throwing in a few poems here and there is my favorite way to read!

Melissa

March 31, 2019 2:43pm 2:43 pm

I also have that everlane shirt- so cozy and cute but the quality is pretty low and it develops holes (and shrinks) after a few washes. I stopped buying it but would love if anybody has found a better quality, ethically produced, similar shirt

Gitta

March 31, 2019 12:49pm 12:49 pm

Hi,
i’d like to post one small correction here:
The “original” version of the movie “The Parent Trap” was not the original at all – but only the original American version. The real original was the 1950s movie “Das Doppelte Lottchen”. The script was written by Erich Kästner, the great German author who also wrote the childrens book of the same name.
Since then there were 2 or 3 new German versions and of course the American ones…

But THIS is the real and first movie:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5rrl35

For anyone who speaks or understands German, this is a lovely walk down memory lane…

Natalie

Reply to Gitta

March 31, 2019 9:28pm 9:28 pm

Oh wow! I grew up watching the Hailey Mills version and loving it (especially because my parents are divorced and I fantasized back then about getting them back together:) So cool- I want to watch the German one…maybe I can find a subtitled edition ;)

Julia

March 31, 2019 11:02am 11:02 am

I like the link about books. I think downloading and reading books on your phone is another great way to read more. Overdrive from the library is great because I can listen to audiobooks while I drive to work and read books on my phone when I have downtime. I know that a lot of people are into reading actual paper books (myself included) but also being open to reading on your phone definitely makes it more likely to read more. Plus it is one less thing to carry. :) When I am home though my first choice would be a paperbook ;)

Heather D

Reply to Julia

April 1, 2019 8:37am 8:37 am

I agree. I used to be a “real book only” snob, but after having a little one, I embrace the joys of my kindle/ kindle app in a dark nursery waiting on him to go to sleep.

Reply to Julia

April 1, 2019 9:18am 9:18 am

This is how I feel, too. I am rarely without a book, but don’t necessarily want to carry an actual book with me. I use the Kindle app on my phone; although it is by far my least favorite way to read, I’d rather read that way than not at all.

Tori

March 31, 2019 8:22am 8:22 am

I have been humming “Let’s Get Together” all weekend. :)

Lou C

March 30, 2019 10:10pm 10:10 pm

To Jenny, thank you for sharing your story, and with all my heart I am sorry for the loss of your bright shining boy. I worked many years as a pediatric nurse, and too many times loved and lost alongside families who were on a journey similar to yours. It’s clear that the love between you and Ewan guided you to the perfect words. Not all families can find those words, so for you to share them is an immeasurable gift and legacy. Thank you to you, Ewan, and all your family. Much love ❤️

Sasha L

March 30, 2019 6:18pm 6:18 pm

Thank you for Three Magical Phrases. Helpful, because we will all be leaving here, someday. Also unfathomably heartbreaking. I’m so sorry Jenny.

May I suggest a couple more reads, just in case there is someone out that wants to touch that sadness some more? Other mothers who have lost children maybe, who are seeking kinship in that lonely club.
http://www.literarymama.com/creativenonfiction/archives/2017/03/the-carry-home.html
This little piece is from Adrienne Lindholm, who wrote a beautiful memoir of life in Alaska, which ends so hopefully, with the birth of her precious little girl, after so much heartbreak. Sadly, there is even greater sorrow. I hope she will find the strength to write another memoir and finish Avery’s story.

https://conglomerationofjoy.com/
And this blog, from a kind and beautiful woman named Jai, who taught the most helpful parenting class in my town, and continues to give so generously, even as she finds a way to live after her losses.

Jenny

Reply to Sasha L

April 1, 2019 11:37am 11:37 am

Jai’s daughter was treated at the same institute and by the same medical team as my son. The pediatric oncology world is a small yet unfathomable trench of pain. Even for suurvivors— the scars seen and unseen, cut into aphotic places in the soul. In the fall, I attended a retreat for bereaved moms. I’ve never surrounded myself with such sorrows as the stories shared by other moms on our first night. No matter how unique the situation, there is a kinship and community always to be found. No one is alone in their grief. Thank you for the reminder. http://www.teamewan.com

Sasha L

Reply to Sasha L

April 1, 2019 3:17pm 3:17 pm

I’m so glad you have found community Jenny. I think that must be comforting. A rotten club to be in, but a reminder that you are not alone. Thank you for sharing about Jai. I think it’s beautiful that so many survivors have funneled their sorrow into works to make the world better. I’m not sure I could be that brave or strong or generous of spirit. You are all warriors and I admire you.

Cory

March 30, 2019 3:33pm 3:33 pm

I haven’t even clicked on the magical phrases link yet and I am crying. I am a cancer survivor, and I remember being in the hospital over 30 years ago as a child. There were so many other kids who didn’t make it, and I think about them a lot. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jenny.

Jean

March 30, 2019 1:44pm 1:44 pm

For anyone else deeply touched by “Three Magical Phrases,” I also found this interview of Rob Delaney (of Catastrophe) very moving:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K8S7VhG-Wuw

Gemma

Reply to Jean

March 30, 2019 2:48pm 2:48 pm

Oh gosh. I was saving Three Magical Phrases until today (Saturday) and then watched the Rob Delaney interview. Thank you for posting that. Aching.
x

Cheryl

Reply to Jean

March 30, 2019 3:01pm 3:01 pm

That was so profound and necessary. It isn’t until you’re ripped from the comfort of pleasant day-to-day life and plunged into the real fear and chaos that is your child being close to death or dying that wakes you up, shapes you, hones you…eventually you come out the other side haunted and experienced and yet incredibly more and empathetic and sensitive. I had to experience this myself to truly understand it. Great interview!

Sarah

March 30, 2019 9:53am 9:53 am

Jenny I lost my 5yo daughter to cancer after pulling her through an entire course of surgery, chemo, and a stem cell transplant. It was like a horror movie. I just wanted to comment and acknowledge how exceptionally brave you are to write about your experience. I havent found the words for mine yet and don’t think I ever will. But it always helps to know we are not alone.

Laura C.

Reply to Sarah

March 30, 2019 2:52pm 2:52 pm

Sarah and Jenny, I am SO sorry for your losses. I have not read the article due to my current state right now but I have read the comments. I have an 8 yo and a 5 yo and I can only imagine your deep pain. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, and so are your wonderful kids.

Shannon

March 30, 2019 7:53am 7:53 am

Wow.

I don’t comment often, but I’m always reading your blog. The “three magic phrases” article hit me hard today (maybe because I have a nine year old son). It was so beautifully written but oh-so heartbreaking. I cannot even imagine having to endure something so tragic, but I have a deep appreciation for people who are able to share their struggles and advice about moments in our lives that no one wants to think about or even accept.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS.

Danna

March 30, 2019 7:45am 7:45 am

Regarding three magical phrases, years ago after my dad had a massive stroke he was nearly but not quite brain dead. He wasn’t on life support so his body needed to go through the process of organs shutting down. We stayed with him day and night for a week, telling him we loved him and we were there for him but it just seemed that somehow he was hanging on despite his body’s fading away. Finally, when we could sense that the end was very close, I kissed him on the forehead and told him, “Dad, it’s R. Me, D. (Brother) and C. (My husband) are here. We want you to know we love you and we’ll miss you but we’ll be ok. You can go and be with mom.” And with that he took one long deep breath, held it, and then gave a long sigh to exhale. And that was it, he was gone. I truly believe that he was hanging on and giving him an ok to go let him go freely.

Reply to Danna

March 31, 2019 3:22pm 3:22 pm

I had a similar experience w/ my father in law. He was near the end, but hanging on, and I sat by his bedside to speak with him. I said, “Hi, Jim, it’s C. We are here to help.” and amazingly, given his state, he reached out and took my hand. I said, “We don’t want you to worry. We are going to take good care of K. (mother in law), and good care of Justice (his beloved cat). We will stick together and help each other out.” He held my hand for a long minute, and a great stillness came over the room. He passed the next day. My friend who is a hospice nurse said that people absolutely can hear you, regardless of what their physical condition may be.

Alanna

March 30, 2019 4:53am 4:53 am

Goodness, I wasn’t ready for Three Magical Phrases… but I don’t know if you can ever be ready for a story like that. I had to sneak in and kiss my sleeping baby after reading it.

Kirsten

March 30, 2019 4:39am 4:39 am

The original Parent Trap is the BEST! I still sing “Let’s Get Together…”

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