Have a Lovely Weekend.

Just read it this morning via a fb friend. Wow. It’s phenomenal. And rational. And about damn time. Hoping it impacts the way abortion is framed.

So I’ve been taking SoulCycle for about 5 months- I’m 40, had a baby a few years ago and one too many french fries (and have the stomach to show for both). I started being a Bra Girl once the lights go out in class about a month ago- and honestly after class I’m sweating so much I just don’t care. It’s been totally empowering. This article 100% hit home for me. Best of luck in your class – you’ll rock it.

Laura, oh how timely your comment is. Several days ago, my second-grader boy asked me, “Why are all the t-shirts and backpacks say “girls rule! girls are power!” What about boys?! I’d love to hear others’ responses to the “girl power” initiatives.

Hi Laura,

We are a family with two moms, a son and a daughter. Our son frequently wants to be a girl because _______ (fill in the blank with they get to wear pretty things, they get to play with dolls, they rule, they get told they are pretty, they wear makeup, etc). I personally think there are two things at play here: 1) the future is female movement is obviously trying to elevate women to the same level as men. It is not trying to reduce opportunities for our sons. Our sons inherently have the advantage in today’s society and that is what I explain to my kiddos. Yes girls rule and the the future is female but that is because historically men were considered superior. My kids find that HILARIOUS because in our household their moms rule. 2) our sons unfortunately don’t have the same opportunities as our daughters because of the stigma of societal expectations (to be the breadwinner, to be tough and strong, etc). I talk about this often with my friends because I sometimes feel bad for their husbands who are working like crazy to support a family and achieve the (perceived) ultimate goal of owning a house and having a stay at home mom for their kids. That is the expectation in my social circle and that is a TON of pressure! I think society has made great strides in terms of boys and men being accepted when they are sensitive and introverted but we haven’t made much headway for boys who gravitate towards historically feminine things. My son the other day was told by an ADULT stranger at the store to take off his tiara because it is for girls! What?!

I equate you asking “Why can’t the goal for the future be gender equality” to asking why don’t we say all lives matter? the goal IS gender equality and all lives DO matter but for now we need to focus on black lives and a female future (and many other things) to achieve that equality. that is the goal.

I have a daughter and sons, and I find those shirts so cringe-worthy. “Future Astronaut”, “Future is Female”, “Strong”, “Beautiful Outside and In”…

We teach our kids that humility is a sign of strength and confidence. If you really believe you are smart, strong, capable of success, brainy, beautiful, etc., you don’t need to tell other people for multiple reasons. First, those qualities in you will be apparent and speak for themselves. Second, you shouldn’t waste your time seeking other people’s approval. Third, a bragging is never something to aspire to, and is a sign of insecurity (we use the current president as the example here).

Also, they offer such narrow definitions of success. So what if my kids want to be stay-at-home parents? Farmers? Teachers? Artists? I want them to know that they can do anything, as long as they work hard, find meaning in it, and it helps make their life happy. They don’t need to be a physician or have a science-based career to get our approval, even though they come from a line of physicians (both men and women).

That said, I don’t think these things leave boys behind or are harmful per say. My kids know how we feel about the shirts, and how the slogan, “The Future is Female”, to me their mom, demonstrates deep-seated insecurity rather than strength or confidence. We don’t make fun of people wearing them or anything, it’s just not for us. As they say- good for her, not for me.

It’s just a non-issue in our house, hope that helps.

The problem is, those little guys have always had the advantage. Now when women want an equal chance, the men are threatened because they no longer have the upper hand. Explain that to the little guys so they won’t do the same thing. It’s like whites who can’t admit they have white privilege, and complain about blacks who are always bringing up “the race card.” You can’t have change without ruffling some feathers. How will boys grow up to be fair when they don’t see the unfairness of the past? I did not get to do what I would have liked with my life because I was born female. I would have taken a “man’s job.”. That man would not have thought that was fair. I’m sure his mom would have been on his side. (Just another point of view. I have a grandson and two granddaughters and want the best for them all too.)