Relationships

In Which I Lost My Wedding Ring

Joanna and Alex wedding

Last week, I lost my wedding ring…

I was climbing into bed one night when I realized my ring wasn’t on my finger, and probably hadn’t been for hours. It could be anywhere. I searched our apartment, my bag, our office, the sidewalk, the bathroom sink… but so far, no luck.

To be honest, I sort of don’t mind. Is that strange? First off, it was a super simple ring, so it’s not a big money loss, and also I’m not very sentimental. I loved wearing a wedding ring when we were first married; it was new and intoxicating. And I remember when I first referred to Alex as my “husband,” when we were in the airport leaving for our honeymoon. I was stocking up on magazines for the flight (New York, Bon Appetit, the September issue of Elle), and I told the clerk, “Oh, my husband is grabbing a bottle of water, too.” THRILL OF THRILLS!!!!!

But now that we’re older and wrinklier and have gone through so much, I’m not as tied to the ring. Alex also lost his ring a few months ago, so when we were hanging out this weekend, I was laughing: ‘We basically look like two people on a date.” A stranger might not know that we’ve been married for nine years, through many life ups and downs, and got two little stinks out of the deal. The ring, which felt so important at first, has been swallowed up by all the other things — bike rides on the Hudson river, nights watching Homeland, pet peeves, arguments, dinner parties, crying babies, giggling toddlers, debates over politics and ice cream flavors, sex, loss, depression, his toes! So many things.

The other day, I read a Yara Bashraheel quote, which resonated with me about marriage — not in a depressing way, but in the most unconditionally loving way: “Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you’re at your worst.” And that rings very true to me. Someone who is there, alongside you, for all the highs and lows, and somehow still loves you.

Plus, my finger still has a clear indentation where a ring has lived for almost 9 years, so it kind of looks like I’m wearing one anyway!

But at the end of the day, it’s still fun to have a ring, right? I’ll definitely get a replacement, and it might be nice to try something new. Here are three lovely ones: black diamond, bateau and loved. I also really like this one, even though it’s offbeat.

Joanna Goddard and Alex Williams wedding

What styles do you like? If you have a wedding ring, what does it look like? How cool would it be to get a “no regrets” one?

(Photos by Max Wanger from our wedding, when we were tiny babies!!!)

  1. Katie says...

    Joanna – what did you decide to do??? I’ve been wondering since you posted this. :-)

    • Laura says...

      I’ve also wondered! :-)

  2. I’ve always loved Princess Cut diamonds and wanted on when we started looking, but then we decided to buy vintage and learned that cut didn’t exist in vintage rings. We ended up finding this perfect ring set (https://www.instagram.com/p/BjtOUgnBlqf/). They’re from the 1940s and still had the original tag on them! I’ve worn the engagement ring for almost four years now and got to add the wedding band in January and I still find myself staring at them during the day. I think they’re the prettiest rings in the whole wide world.

  3. Mullica Zudsiri says...

    I’m only newly engaged but I did find my wedding band through an antique estate jeweler that I highly recommend. They’re Market Square Jewelers. My fiance and I were in Portland, Maine where they have one location so I like how it also reminds me of a lovely trip we took.

    My friend also got engaged and they picked a ring from Erie Basin based out in Red Hook Brooklyn.

  4. Joanna says...

    A few months ago I was looking for my wedding band in the morning and couldn’t find it anywhere! I searched high and low and in all the usual spots and it wasn’t to be found. So when I ordered a new one (mine was also a very simple, inexpensive one) naturally my original showed up, somehow it had been in bed with me (which I’d checked probably 5-6 times before) for at least 3 days.

    So it might just happen that when you order a new one, the old one will turn up :)

  5. Amy says...

    Joanna,
    I love this post! You should check out Elliot Gaskin jewelry on instagram / the web. It’s so unique & beautiful. He does custom designs too. He made my wedding band and he did such a wonderful job!

  6. janine says...

    I got a rash from my wedding/engagement rings (which I wear as a set) so I decided to wear the rings on my right hand for a while. Then they got stuck. I tried EVERYTHING to get them off – nothing worked. Then I started to get a rash on my RIGHT hand – and my finger was really swelling up. I had to bite the bullet and get the rings cut off!! So when I had them put back together, I had the jeweler tweak the design just a little bit so the inside of the rings was flat — it turned out that all kinds of gunk and dirt had collected in the grooves in the inside of the rings over the years (I cleaned them, I swear!!) and that’s what caused the rash in the first place.

  7. Ashley says...

    I love my black diamond ring! The shape is traditional, and it has millgrain, which satisfies my love of Art Deco jewelry. But I really wanted something different from what everyone else had (solitaires and halos are super popular with people my age). I have yet to meet anyone else with a ring anything like mine!

  8. Lauren B. says...

    I just love the idea that a wedding ring can be whatever you want it to be! Growing up in the south, I always had this idea that you had to have a traditional diamond wedding ring, otherwise it just didn’t seem appropriate or right. No one ever told me that outright, it was just what I always observed as a child. Then, as a young adult, when I saw people getting engaged right out of college they always had these ungodly huge diamond rings that probably cost a college-kids years’ salary. It wasn’t until I grew up a little more that I realized “who said a wedding ring has to be a diamond?” My mom actually had a pearl ring as her first ring when my parents were young and broke (I never knew that until I was older). My BFF was given a pink topaz when the question was popped. It’s very unconventional, but so her. Just this past Christmas my husband surprised me with a new band; it’s solid, plain rose gold. I work in the restaurant industry so it’s much more practical — it’s beautiful and simple. I get a small thrill out of people asking me if it’s my wedding band. They seem possibly a little put off by it because it doesn’t have any kind of stone and it’s not expensive in the least, but I love how understated it is. It’s so much more “me” than a big diamond.

  9. KB says...

    I put my engagement ring and wedding band in my pocket one day while I was applying hand lotion. The next day I did laundry and threw the pants (and rings) in the washer. A few minutes after I put the load into the dryer and turned it on, I realized what I had done. Sitting on top of the clothes in the dryer was my engagement ring, but I never found my diamond-encircled wedding band (despite taking apart the washing machine AND dryer.) Anyway, months later I was in a jewelry store, just sort of daydreaming about getting another band – which we could not afford at the time – and the sales lady suggested I should check with my insurance company to see if it was covered under our house insurance. And it was! I just had to provide photos to show what I had before (we no longer had the receipt) and they totally covered a new one. Yay! So…check with your insurance company. It might just work in your favour.

  10. Maria says...

    I’m not able to wear my rings after my babies…I started getting a ring rasg after #1 and they don’t fit after #2 and they’re too old and thin to resize. I’m usually very sentimental, and The Rings used to be such a big deal, now it just seems unimportant. Although I do have a twinge of regret that I am not wearing the ring he so sweetly picked and carried around all week for the proposal.
    I’m wearing a cheap placeholder and waiting to find one I like and can tolerate.

  11. Callie says...

    Rings are such a lovely symbol, but I think you’re totally right, Joanna. It’s what it represents that’s important. My father works in medicine and has to remove his ring often, so he’s lost numerous rings over the years. My mom is used to it. A few years ago after some hard times, they were traveling and bought simple matching rings. Seeing them wear those rings reminds me that marriage is recommitted over and over. A new ring is a chance to make the promise endure.

  12. Stacey says...

    I’ve never had a wedding ring. I told my husband before he proposed that I didn’t want a ring, which he was delighted over because it saved him a lot of money :) I’ve just never liked wearing rings. My grandma did have her mother’s wedding ring made into a necklace for me, and I wore that at my wedding, which felt so special.

  13. Cora says...

    My husband lost 30 pounds a few years ago and his wedding ring was too big. We talked about getting him a new one but it just never happened. At first I was sad, but the love isn’t in the ring, it’s in the journey. As the years have gone on I wear my engagement ring less and less despite it’s significanace (I have my mother and grandmother’s stones as part of it). I wear my channel set diamond wedding ring daily though. I think of it as a visual reminder of all we’ve been through together.

  14. That loved ring! My husband and I don’t wear rings – he lost his shortly after we got married (which he had anticipated, so it was not an expensive ring), and I haven’t been able to fit into mine since halfway through pregnancy with my first (still breastfeeding the baby so I’m waiting to get the ring resized until I finish) (sorry if that’s TMI). I miss wearing my ring sometimes (it’s so pretty and I love it), but also like not having to worry about it, especially since my hands are often dirty and covered in food/craft projects/general kid mess.

  15. When my husband and I were engaged 33 years ago he gave me a beautiful solitude diamond in a platinum setting. Before my mother died she gave her mother’s solitude diamond engagement ring. We went to a local jeweler a few years and combined the 2 with an additional diamond to make the most beautiful 3 diamond ring. I look at it everyday and smile.

  16. Shannon says...

    Love this. I feel like when you’re in it for the long haul, a wedding band is just a thing.

  17. cgw says...

    I lost my simple wedding band for a bit. After nearly a year of it being missing we decided it was time to flip the mattress on our slat bed. Imagine our surprise to see that the wedding band somehow got sandwiched between a slat and the mattress!! Don’t know what your bed is like, but maybe check in, under, and around it a bit more?

  18. Jen says...

    I wear one of my mom’s wedding bands along side one of mine. Neither one of us was ever divorced, we just got new wedding bands when it was time for something different. Should my daughter ever chose to get married some day, she’ll have plenty to pick from.

  19. Jessica says...

    I have a vintage diamond ring as my engagement ring, and a very simple thin band that fits quietly behind it. The engagement ring was a compromise: I didn’t want a diamond for ethical reasons, and really didn’t feel like a ring was necessary (we were poor and I’m practical). He didn’t really care, but worried my family would judge him if I didn’t have something nice. The ring we found was the perfect balance of traditional, pretty, and cost effective, and old enough that I knew it couldn’t be a blood diamond. I sometimes think of getting a more modern looking band, just for fun, to change things up. I would get one from this great Toronto based company, Attic Jewelry. Their aesthetic is so clean and minimal, I just love there pieces.

  20. A few years ago, mine stopped fitting – I kept getting a painful rash around my finger because they were just a little too tight, so I stopped wearing them and left them in a little dish on my bedside table. I was trying to save up to get them resized, but I wasn’t earning a lot at the time and the cost of the service through the jeweler we got them from is surprisingly expensive ($350+ ring!) Our house was broken into a couple summers ago and they came in through the bedroom window right next to the nightstand where my wedding rings sit. When we realized what had happened, I thought for sure they were stolen but to my surprise and relief, they were safe! I just recently got a new job with a substantially higher salary and finally being able to afford to resize them is one of the things I’ve been really looking forward to. (P.S. if anyone has recommendations for a more affordable resizing service, I’d appreciate it!)

    • Summer says...

      So….I don’t know how to best recommend this, but…I found a small, family owned jeweler in a strip mall because I needed a new watch battery. They were veeeery reasonable, and…idk, I just got a good vibe. Several watches later, I trusted them to resize a ring of mine (it was a good test, because there wasn’t sentimental value, and I just wanted it to fit on a different finger). Anyway, they were sooooooo affordable! I would definitely get quotes or visit some small town jewelers. It might take a little longer, but worth it. And, of course, trust your gut.

    • Summer says...

      Also – SOOOO glad the thieves didn’t take them!!!

  21. Jamie says...

    My husband looses his ring at least once a year (15 years running). It always turns up, eventually. Once, after three or four months, it came out of the laundry. Once we found it under the bed after doing some spring cleaning. Just last week we were on vacation and he lost it the first day. Found it on the last day at the bottom of my purse. He took it off to go swimming in the ocean and somehow it ended up with the crayons and legos. We both are not sentimental so the annual ordeal is not upsetting, but I still take it as an opportunity to rib him about being on the prowl. Ha.

  22. Stephanie says...

    I lost my wedding and engagement rings two years ago at an amusement park when I was putting sunscreen on my toddler. I didn’t realize it at first and then couldn’t remember if I’d actually worn them that day (I was 7 months pregnant and they weren’t fitting well at that point.) We had been meaning to get insurance on them but hadn’t, and haven’t been able to replace them with anything. I try to remind myself it’s just a material thing but my husband put a lot of personal touches (and money) into the design and it still feels like a punch to the gut when I think about it.

    • K. J. says...

      I’m right there with you. I stopped wearing my beautiful engagement ring because it felt bulky at times and left it in my jewelry box. One day I looked for it, and it was gone. I can’t say for certain where, but my instincts tell me that a sitter we had may have taken it. I won’t go into why this is my suspicion, but, either way, it’s gone and it still makes me sad.

  23. Meg says...

    I couldn’t wear my rings for much of my pregnancy and even now, every summer, I spend a couple of months mainly just wearing my wedding band because my hands swell in the heat, making two rings uncomfortable. We’re married 10 years this summer, and I always miss wearing my engagement ring when I have to go without it. But I’m a sentimental sap so that’s to be expected!

  24. Barbara says...

    Have you checked the washing machine yet? I had a friend whose wedding ring went through a year of washing machine cycles, until one day it appeared, tumbling out of a load of clean sheets :)

  25. Jessie says...

    I lost my wedding and engagement rings 2 years ago. I took them off to put sunscreen on my daughters. I left the two older ones with my husband and went to a store to look at skin products with my youngest. On the walk back I realized I didn’t have them on. No problem I thought, I just left them on the counter. When we got back. No rings. I called the store, no rings were found. We looked EVERYWHERE in our townhouse, the vents, the garbage. Nada. I was so upset because my engagement ring had a little heart under the diamond that had meaning. Once we got the insurance check I figured I’d get one on Etsy for $100. However after looking at pintrest I fell in love with a square diamond and a cushion cut halo with a wedding band with small diamonds on it. I love it and glad I got a replacement. Even though they don’t admit it I think the guys are glad you are wearing a ring to show everyone that you are with them through and through.

  26. Mimi says...

    We call our kids our little stinks too! Ha!

  27. Angela B says...

    First, I lost my wedding band….a year or two later I lost my engagement ring. Needless to say, my husband was not happy. Both times, I’d taken them off so I wouldn’t lose them-SMH!! After a year, I was really missing it and feeling guilty, in the closet I’d torn apart several times searching, I found my engagement ring! It was just sitting there like I’d just left it there.

  28. Samantha says...

    My husband and I both wore engagement rings. His is a very simple band, but I have a beautiful, custom set of recycled gold, Canadian diamonds and a center stone gifted from my parents (from splashy 25th anniversary earrings).

    Now, I’m 7 months pregnant and haven’t been able to wear my rings since my first trimester.

    I don’t think I realized how much symbolic value I had attached to them. I feel incredibly self-conscious without them. Walking around as a visibly pregnant, Black woman, in the Midwest, without a wedding ring has had an unexpected mental impact. I guess I’m much more bourgeois and conventional than I’m comfortable accepting.

    • Claire says...

      Would a silicone ring fit? Much love to you and your growing family!

  29. Natalie says...

    That Bashraheel quote! So poignant and true. Excuse me while I tear up at my desk!

  30. Paige says...

    GIRL. I lost the diamond in my engagement ring this February, the day of my son’s fifth birthday party. Without the diamond, the ring is a weapon-like – and without the engagement ring, my wedding band won’t stay on (and can’t be sized down due to the design) so here I am, almost six years married and ringless. It’s not really in the finances right now to invest in a new diamond, but after six months I feel very much the same as you: I’m not tied to it; it does not define to me what it used to. Getting the day to day workings of our marriage right has been a total struggle, ring or no ring, and it’s allowed me to feel less religious about the ceremony of marriage and more forthcoming in what we are and how we love, both separately and together as humans. This may be deep and overly symbolic – I also don’t love wearing a ton of jewelry anyway – but thru it, I’ve found that marriage is in my heart and in making my heart in it whole. Xx

  31. Rue says...

    One of my favorite things to do at wedding receptions is to talk to each member of the couple and refer to “your husband” or “your wife” and then do some big jazz hands about it. The reactions are *always* priceless.

  32. My husband and I eloped on a budget a few years ago – we wanted to use our small savings for a down payment on our first home, and having a baby (we’re now in our first home expecting our second baby!). We bought two matching (rose gold!) bands from Brilliant Earth and had them engraved with a sentiment that he texted me one stressful night while we were dating: “you and me, babe” and that had become a sort of mantra for our partnership.

    The best thing about having matching wedding bands is that whenever I get into the third trimester of pregnancy we can swap our bands before mine gets too snug on my swollen fingers and has to be cut off… ha!

    • Becca says...

      “You and me, babe” … <3 <3 <3 that's really what it's all about <3

  33. Kara says...

    Why settle for just one ring? I love my original wedding ring, but I don’t love wearing it every day, or with every outfit. Over the years I’ve acquired a small collection of rings that fit my ring finger, and I just pick the one that best suits my mood or outfit or the activities I have planned for the day. My current favorite is a wide copper band that I picked up for about $20 from a craft fair – I love the color, the wide band is so comfortable, and I have zero anxiety about losing it!

  34. Kara says...

    Why settle for just one ring? I love my original wedding ring (a trio of emerald-cut aquamarines that my husband and I picked out together from a thrift shop that we used to visit every Sunday when we first started dating), but I don’t love wearing it every day, or with every outfit. Over the years I’ve acquired a small collection of rings that fit my ring finger, and I just pick the one that best suits my mood or outfit or the activities I have planned for the day. My current favorite is a wide copper band that I picked up for about $20 from a craft fair – I love the color, the wide band is so comfortable, and I have zero anxiety about losing it!

  35. I recently had a baby and my wedding ring doesn’t fit any more. For months, I missed seeing my wedding ring on my finger. I decided to get a replacement but instead of spending a lot of money, I decided to look for one at some of the local antique shops. I left my son with my mother in law, got an iced coffee, and went on a solo-date to scrounge through cases and cases of rings. The hunt was kind of fun and I finally found a simple silver thick wedding band that fit perfectly. And the best part? It was only $12! Now I won’t feel stressed if I lose it and hopefully someday I will be able to wear my original band!

  36. Jane I. says...

    Got any tattoos? Now is the time. How about a sweet simple line around the ol’ ring finger for confidence.?

  37. carolyn says...

    This is my ring: http://www.writtenbyforest.com/Dawn_Ring_p/dwn-r1.htm

    I picked my ring out when we started talking seriously about getting engaged (eight years into our relationship!). Dave ordered it, and I ended up being the one to sign for it when UPS delivered it! (I pretended I had no idea what was in the package, but I totally knew :) Then Dave carried it around in his pocket for months, stressing out about how and when to propose. (I also pretended not to notice the bulge of the box in his pocket all those times!) Months later, when we finally got engaged (in the living room, in front of our cat, nothing special — but of course also very special), we were like, Why did we go through that charade of popping the question so traditionally? The ring and the proposal weren’t what mattered — our already-made decision to marry each other was the important part.

    Still, I love my ring. It looks like a sunrise, and it makes me smile and think of hope and love.

  38. Laura says...

    Our rings are handmade, and probably cost about $150 total. His is a sterling silver signet ring I had made for him with a Tree of Life crest (a symbol we adopted as a blended family) and mine is a thin gold band my husband hammered (himself!) to look like a tree branch that pairs with the delicate “flower” engagement ring he designed. My band actually came from the scrap metal left over after he designed my engagement ring! They would not be difficult AT ALL to replace, but it would hurt to lose them because of the handmade and sentimental nature. I sometimes wish I wasn’t so sentimental haha!

  39. VVercsi says...

    I’ve found my ring once in the laundry bag – check there too! :-)

  40. TG says...

    Why did I think you lost the ring years ago? I am having deja vu….Am I making this up? LOL

  41. Liana says...

    I love the black diamond band so pretty!
    My engagement ring is my husbands grandma’s ring, it’s not anything crazy or big but means so much, because of its history, apparently my husband’s grandpa saved up for almost 6 months to purchase it back in early 1950s, so he could propose to his grandma, sweet! My wedding band is a super plain flat white gold band, which I often wear on its own:)

  42. Alexa says...

    I got pregnant a year into dating my now-husband and we decided to establish common law marriage (which is shockingly easy to do in DC- you just have to say you are married) much to the dismay of our parents. We said one day we’d do a real wedding but it seems neither of us love the thought of planning one so its on hold indefinitely. We each wore a simple band for a period of time but we both stopped. I don’t love the feeling of a ring on my finger so I haven’t ever felt naked without it. Its all pretty unconventional I guess. We’ve got two kids now and have been together seven years but it doesn’t feel like a ring was ever an important part of the equation for us.

  43. jones says...

    Also, one possibility for nice bands is Blue Nile. I have 2 of the eternity bands from there (one sapphire and one pink) and I wear them with my engagement ring and wedding band. The sapphire one is so dark it almost looks black at times and people often comment on it.

  44. jones says...

    That quote is beautiful. My husband will be celebrating our 5th anniversary and this past year we have dealt with health issues with several of our family members, one of which is ongoing and extremely difficult. That quote makes me think of exactly what he is and has been to me this past year.

  45. K says...

    In her 70s, my grandmother lost her (irreplaceable, sentimental, gorgeous) wedding ring and was devastated. A few nights later, she was fixing her nightly gin and tonic and plink, plunk the ring drops into her glass with a handful of ice. It had fallen off her finger in her ice bucket! I just love this image of a diamond ring in a cocktail glass and my grandma so shocked and happy! Cheers to that!

    • Julia says...

      Love that!

  46. Kiley says...

    My fingers get hotdogy when it’s hot or I’m nervous and rings are not comfortable to wear. I only wore my rings for a very short time. My husband wears his, though. Perhaps we look like a scandal together (but probably not!). I love meeting other women who don’t wear a wedding ring. My favorite was a woman who explained “I do a lot of Karate.” Wish I was that cool!

  47. Julie says...

    Having been engaged twice before I married my husband, we decided to go with a simple gold band—previous engagements with snazzy rings hadn’t really felt like “me”, though I still miss that Tiffany 3-stone circlet on occasion, lol! My wedding band is definitely a treasured possession after five years, but we also bought it on Amazon for $120 the week we eloped, so it is nice knowing it would be easy to replace.

    On another note, if you love jewelry and have the budget, it’s fun to buy and wear various rings along with a simple wedding band, so you don’t feel tied to one thing. I’ve got a natural gray pear-shaped diamond ring, a small moissanite solitaire, and a big chunky gold blob I regularly switch out. Kinda fun. And even more fun that I bought them for myself with money I made. Now eyeing a band like that black diamond one. So pretty!

  48. Natalia says...

    Joanna! You should check out the rings by Japanese designer Satomi Kawakita. My soon-to-be fiance and I just got rings from her, and they are so unique and special. A visit to her showroom in Tribeca could be a fun date! ;)

    https://www.satomikawakita.com/

  49. Katelyn D Canon says...

    This is less about rings and more about marriage. As someone who is struggling with the idea of marriage (my parents are divorced and, needless to say, that has had a lasting impact on how I view marriage/relationships). This quote is so, so lovely and it really gave me a sense of peace about relationships. It’s a nice reminder that I tend to worry and overcomplicate things, and, at the end of the day, just being there for the other person is the most important thing you can do.

    On the subject of rings, all the options you chose are beautiful. I personally want to skip the engagement ring and just go for a simple, thin gold band.

    • Anna says...

      I really really LOVE all the very fine bands you posted, Joanna, especially all the ones that look like they were made by hand. Just beautiful.

      I opted for no engagement ring and we both wear just simple white-gold wedding bands. We were young (and rather poor) at the time we got married and were (and still are!) so in love, and the rings seemed more of a token rather than a representation of our relationship of anything too sentimental.

      I was exchange in Germany for a year when I was a teenager, and was told (at least at that time) that when people got engaged both the male and the female wear a simple band on their other hand, which is moved to the wedding finger when they get married. I always liked that idea! I do remember a group of older women cornering me to ask me about the whole concept of an engagement ring – they had seen it in a movie and wanted to know why exactly the woman would need a separate ring and if so, why the men didn’t get an engagement ring too! :-)

  50. Cat says...

    I made ours, partly due to allergies to metal and partly due to crazy expense. They are antler, and I am making a new set out of bone. But mostly we wear our silicon ones for work, much safer in the construction field. Regardless, they are always special because I make them! Simple, easy and never a problem if they are lost or broken. Just make some new ones

  51. Allyson says...

    I love all the replacement ring choices you shared! I have the teensiest, simplest gold band next to an almost laughably large moissanite. I definitely love them but I’m glad they were both very budget friendly incase I ever want to swap styles. Bryan means more to me than any object, ever. Kind of takes the pressure off not having extremely precious jewels.

  52. Sarah says...

    I’ve never understood the appeal of expensive jewelry. Seems like a waste of money to me. $2k for a tiny ring?! But then I’m frugal to a fault, haha.

  53. julie says...

    Well – if you start shopping, I recommend Bario Neal in Philly. They are a woman-owned company that uses only ethically sourced gems & recycled metals. My wedding ring is the beeeest. <3

    • Jessie says...

      Yes my rings are from there too, and they are so beautiful!

  54. Shayna says...

    My engagement ring belonged to my much-beloved Gran and, before that, her mother. She’d long promised it to me as I am named for my great grandmother, the original owner of the ring. During the conversations that preceded our engagement, a ring felt like it went against my feminist sensibilities. But then I decided: this ring connects me to my mom, my grandmother, and my great grandmother–all fabulous, strong women with long, happy marriages. Plus, it’s just really pretty. So I’ve been wearing the heck out of my ring. But yeah, there’s some pressure not to lose a 100 year-old heirloom.

  55. Magalie B says...

    I’m just about to celebrate my first anniversary, although we’ve been together for 11 years.
    My husband and I wanted something simple and special, so we did a make your own wedding ring workshop at a local jewelers. He made mine and I made his. I was a really fun afternoon, we got to learn about jewelry making and use fire and fun tools.

    • Cynthia Miller says...

      what fun! My husband and I just reached 10 years of marriage- but 18 years together, which is our true anniversary.

    • Julie says...

      This sounds so fun!

    • Anna says...

      I really love this idea! I wish we’d thought of this!

  56. Jessica says...

    I stopped wearing my rings when my first kids reached that age as babies when they grabbed at them and I’ve never really gone back to wearing them. My husband also rarely wears them. Sometimes we get the side-eye from people when we’re out with our three kids (all toddlers), but it makes me laugh. A ring doesn’t indicate a status, nor is it a marker for a family.

  57. Kiley says...

    I just got married in the last year, and I’m already ready for a different engagement ring setting. Is that horrible? My husband picked the cheapest one he could get, and the “chemicals” in my hands cause the white gold coating to vanish quickly and turn the ring yellow. It really should be re-plated every 3-4 months, but I can’t bring myself to spend money like that. My wedding band doesn’t have the same problem, so maybe I’ll start wearing it by itself? Like you, I’m hoping that the farther we get into our marriage the less it will matter!

  58. Lisa Terwilliger says...

    Love all these stories! My husband and I didn’t “do” an engagement ring and we both wear simple wedding bands. Not to sound too smug but a few of our friends that did fancy proposals with fancy/expensive engagement rings are all getting divorced and we’re together almost 20 years. We think there might be a lesson in there somewhere! ;)

    • Anna says...

      This is so interesting. We did the same thing, and I have also noticed the same thing with some of our friends! It would be an interesting study to do.

  59. Jo says...

    I am the lucky bearer of my husband’s family heirloom rings – his great grandmothers’ (mother’s mother’s mother’s and mother’s father’s mother’s) – and I would be absolutely DEVASTATED if I lost them because of the emotional value they have for my husband. His mother held on to them for him since he was a little boy, he took them from her unbeknownst to me when we first started dating, and he offered them to me after we’d been dating for 6 years and I thought we’d never get married. They’re irreplaceable and I feel honored to wear them, so I very very rarely even take them off.

  60. Jenneth says...

    I was engaged once in my very early twenties to someone who treated me quite awful. It took me a year to get the strength to leave him and once I did I put the ring in a drawer and with time forgot about the ring and the man.

    When I was in my late twenties I found a man who treated me greater than I will ever deserve. We fell in love and moved in together quickly. The morning I heard the small chime of it fall onto the floor my heart sank a little. I had pushed the past so far out of my mind I had forgotten I still had the ring. The sentiment of the ring had long since died but the ring itself was dainty and beautiful and deserved a second chance. So, I put it in my pocket and walked along my new tree lined streets, shaking it out along the way. Someone must have picked it up because I never saw it again but I hope the ring is happy and the man is a keeper.

    • Anonymous says...

      What a wonderful gesture!