Last week, I lost my wedding ring…
I was climbing into bed one night when I realized my ring wasn’t on my finger, and probably hadn’t been for hours. It could be anywhere. I searched our apartment, my bag, our office, the sidewalk, the bathroom sink… but so far, no luck.
To be honest, I sort of don’t mind. Is that strange? First off, it was a super simple ring, so it’s not a big money loss, and also I’m not very sentimental. I loved wearing a wedding ring when we were first married; it was new and intoxicating. And I remember when I first referred to Alex as my “husband,” when we were in the airport leaving for our honeymoon. I was stocking up on magazines for the flight (New York, Bon Appetit, the September issue of Elle), and I told the clerk, “Oh, my husband is grabbing a bottle of water, too.” THRILL OF THRILLS!!!!!
But now that we’re older and wrinklier and have gone through so much, I’m not as tied to the ring. Alex also lost his ring a few months ago, so when we were hanging out this weekend, I was laughing: ‘We basically look like two people on a date.” A stranger might not know that we’ve been married for nine years, through many life ups and downs, and got two little stinks out of the deal. The ring, which felt so important at first, has been swallowed up by all the other things — bike rides on the Hudson river, nights watching Homeland, pet peeves, arguments, dinner parties, crying babies, giggling toddlers, debates over politics and ice cream flavors, sex, loss, depression, his toes! So many things.
The other day, I read a Yara Bashraheel quote, which resonated with me about marriage — not in a depressing way, but in the most unconditionally loving way: “Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you’re at your worst.” And that rings very true to me. Someone who is there, alongside you, for all the highs and lows, and somehow still loves you.
Plus, my finger still has a clear indentation where a ring has lived for almost 9 years, so it kind of looks like I’m wearing one anyway!
But at the end of the day, it’s still fun to have a ring, right? I’ll definitely get a replacement, and it might be nice to try something new. Here are three lovely ones: black diamond, bateau and loved. I also really like this one, even though it’s offbeat.
What styles do you like? If you have a wedding ring, what does it look like? How cool would it be to get a “no regrets” one?
(Photos by Max Wanger from our wedding, when we were tiny babies!!!)