Design

Four Fun Things

The Ultimate BLT

Seven sandwich secrets from chefs, including the tip to cut down on the bread a little bit — say, by scooping out some of the roll — so you can keep the focus on the ingredients inside.

I was laughing out loud at this video on how to write the best (and worst) wedding speech — featuring Obama’s former speechwriter David Litt and SNL writer Will Stephen.

Shopbop discount code

Good news: Shopbop is offering a 15-25% off with the code GOBIG18 — if you’re in the market for essentials, like this blouse, this bag and these sandals.

How to fall asleep more quickly

The trick for falling asleep more quickly? Worrying on purpose. Basically, you re-train your brain to worry at a designated time other than bed. Later, when you’re falling asleep, your mind doesn’t have to remind you of EVERYTHING.

P.S. More fun things, and romance novels for smart women.

(Sandwich photo by Christopher Testani for Bon Appétit. Cat photo by Danny.)

  1. Rebecca Joseph says...

    Haha! I worry on purpose to fall asleep all the time and was trying to teach my son how to do it too yesterday. I didn’t think that I invented it but I didn’t think any(many) people did it either. So fun to see it has a name

  2. Chelsi says...

    I’m a definite trying-to-fall-asleep-and-worrying-about-the-worst-possible-things person. I love the idea of designating another time of day to worry. Usually when I find myself in a mental spiral of terribleness before bed, I try to think of something absolutely ridiculous to worry about (like how my left boob is bigger than my right). I’ve found it’s much easier to fall asleep on that type of worry as opposed to a “legitimate” worry.

  3. paula says...

    I’d love to know the maker/style of the jeans in the photo above. I love higher than mid-rise waist and I’m finding that they aren’t that easy to find – specifically, Levi jeans. Open to any suggestions from readers, too.

  4. Roberta Williams says...

    I’m going to be a maid of honor in a couple months, so what a perfect little learning sesh for the speech. Any tips for public speaking fears?

    • I had to make a speech at my best friend’s wedding in august and was pretty terrified. here’s what helped me: During my speech, I looked directly at the couple. I didn’t look at the crowd, I didn’t address the crowd, I spoke directly to the couple, and afterwards tons of people came up to me telling me how nice my speech was. Zoning in on your best friend will make it seem like no one else is in the room.

      Hope that works for you! And good luck!! It’ll be great!

    • Eliza says...

      I’ve heard that clenching your bum cheeks helps :)

  5. Sonam says...

    Joanna, love from India! can you please share some things under $10-20 that my sis-in-law can get from the US? Some little known secret but amazing stuff that you guys use and love?!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      for sure!!! we love these things:

      the ordinary has great skincare at great price points — http://theordinary.com/
      if your SIL goes to sephora, there are face masks by the cash registers that are super affordable and really fun!
      IKEA is fun to walk around and has lots of great home and kid things, like these lovely pink carafes that everyone in our office loves: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/categories/series/35737/

      hope this helps! would love to hear other people’s ideas, too :)

    • Lauren says...

      I’m also a big fan of The Ordinary and IKEA, but neither of them is from the US! (They’re Canadian and Swedish, respectively.) Depending on where your sister-in-law is, my first thought is to find an independently owned shop that has locally made products (I’m in the bay area and there are tons with products made on the west coast), since you’re less likely to be able to find them online.

      Otherwise, I think a fun taste of American culture would be random goodies from Target and snacks from Trader Joes (Crispy Okra is my current obsession). Or another idea… my French sister-in-law used to always get requests for Crest Whitestrips from family back home :)

  6. Jill says...

    I’ve been to a few weddings where the best man speech was so bad, the grooms never talked to them again. Not sure why some guys see this speech as a chance to get drunk and recount totally inappropriate memories from their early twenties.

  7. Sera says...

    My best friend had a large wedding (over 400 people) and unfortunately her brother-in-law got hammered between the ceremony and the reception and gave a speech about her having — and I quote — “explosive dio” all over their bathroom the last time he saw her. She grabbed my arm and whispered, “Oh my god, I had food poisoning.” Meanwhile, everyone was silent except for my husband who started laughing because he claims he was “so caught off guard.” Needless to say, it was memorable. Props to my friend for holding it together and enjoying the rest of the evening!

  8. Loving the worrying on purpose method. I find that if I make a list of any and all possible to-dos (even if they’re 5 years out) that pop into my head, they go on the paper and not in my head. It’s so freeing to not have them rambling around up there, taking up space and creating chaos. The worrying on purpose method seems like a great extension of that.

  9. Jackie says...

    Related but not related. Has anyone else noticed the restaurants now put bacon on everything?

    Seems they need to doctor up something that has no taste…

    • celeste says...

      My boss has complained about this…she can’t eat pork.

  10. I liked the advice for the time to sleep! I never thought about it before, but you’re right! We should worry and scream and go crazy in another time, so when we go to sleep, we’re basicaly tired of it and we…simply sleep! I’m going to try it! :D
    Kiss* and have a nice weekend!

  11. This has been so interesting to read!
    I loved the sleeping part the most!
    -Daria

  12. Alison says...

    Hi Joanna & crew! Not sure where to post this comment so I’ll just leave it here :) I would love a post about blogs you’re reading these days in various categories. So many of the blogs I used to read have shut down or post extremely infrequently. I think a lot of blogs have moved over to Instagram instead, but I’m old school and I love lots of pictures and stories and links and ramble-y thoughts. You are still killing the blog game and I’d love any tips from you about how to find more blogs to fill up my feed! Thanks!

    • sasha says...

      Yes! I’d love this too.
      Two that I enjoy right now, Joy the baker, and reading my tea leaves.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I love Dinner: A Love Story, Kottke, Miss Moss, Man Repeller and The Wednesday Chef. xo

    • dana says...

      I agree! I need help in this area too. I find myself obsessively checking for new posts on the few blogs that are still around/still wonderful. I’m starting to have unrealistic expectations for post turnaround (i.e., I get disappointed when there aren’t multiple posts in a day) and would love suggestions for other blogs to check out.

    • I am a die-hard, old-school blog reader, too! I can’t, for some reason, get into vlogs or Instagram or any other new, hipster things that all the cool kids are talking about. :)

    • L says...

      These are some good blogs I’ve found through clicking on Cup of Jo commenter’s names: courtneycasto.com, melissablakeblog.com, wullhay.com. Also Gemma Burgess’ blog.

    • L says...

      Also seconding Joanna’s suggestion of Dinner: A Love Story. It sounds like a food blog, which it is, but she writes about a lot of life stuff too.

    • I have a weekly blog about city life and urban issues. I focus on child and family-friendly cities and have launched a series, My Affordable City. The series is a showcase of people living in cities, describing their lifestyle and housing situation to learn how they budget for city life, and what cost-saving tips they can share with the rest of us. Check it out http://www.thiscitylife.tumblr.com

    • Kate says...

      I just emailed Cup of Jo this question yesterday!!

    • Hi, one of the blogs I love reading is ‘The Goya Journal’. I guess you could call it a food blog or perhaps more correctly an online food magazine, but they have very thoughtful, super interesting pieces with lovely photography and illustrations.

  13. Whitney says...

    One sandwhich tip I learned from Bon Appetit a long time ago: use mayo instead of butter to griddle your bread/bun. The egg + oil combination makes your bread perfectly crisp and golden brown.

    (It may seem weird to put mayo on the outside of a grilled cheese, for example, but trust!)

  14. Katie says...

    I was 17 and it seemed SO IMPORTANT to me at the time to have my first kiss before I turned 18. It was four days before my 18th birthday (cutting it CLOSE), my then boyfriend (now husband) was over and he was sitting on a chair in my bedroom at my parent’s house and he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. It was a Sunday afternoon. We still have the chair.

  15. Denise says...

    These are fun but really -Where can I find that kitten?! Tabbies are the sweetest.

  16. Laura C. says...

    My therapist suggested me to do the deliberate worrying time, but I didn’t feel like that would work well for me, because I used to call it “the miserable moment” and I didn’t want to feel bad on purpose. I should retry given my current status.
    Sorry, I’m still shocked by the sugar-fried garlic! Don’t know whether I’m horrified by the idea or I should definitely give a try!

    • Sophia says...

      Please look into the work of Lynn Lyons! There’s a lot of evidence these days that designating a “worrying time” actually increases anxiety because it gives more power to the CONTENT of worrying. Lyons argues that to build a better relationship with your anxiety, you must learn to notice when the PROCESS of worrying is happening, and learn to change your thinking around it.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s so interesting, sophia! going to look that up.

  17. Nicole says...

    Off topic, but also a “fun thing”…run, don’t walk to watch the new Queer Eye reboot on Netflix! You won’t regret it. So heartwarming and touching and joyful. Myself and everyone I know who has watched it has been devastated there are only 8 episodes! The Fab 5 are so good! The transformations are so good. It will make you smile/laugh/cry/feel good vibes.

    • Rae says...

      Yes, I second that recommendation — though I cry at each episode! So I guess this is a caveat that it is a fun, but tearful, experience?

    • Kate says...

      I third this recommendation! SUCH a great show – my husband and I can’t stop watching!

  18. Nicole says...

    For help falling asleep, I have been LOVING (and telling everyone I know about) a meditation called “Breathing into Sleep” from the Insight Timer meditation app. It is SO good. My husband and I have been calling it “the hammer” because it knocks us out so quickly (and into such deep sleep!)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      wow, this sounds amazing.

  19. Amy says...

    So many great sandwich tips, but the best takeaway for me is that I need to eat lunch at Güero ASAP — it’s in my neighborhood and I’ve never been! Also, going to try “deliberate worrying” too!

  20. Eliza says...

    I love the best man speech tips! My brother asked me to be his best “man” (lady) and his fiancee is having her brother as her “maid” of honour – I had an outline of my toast the same night! Anyone else have good tips?!

    • Mallory says...

      I had a rough day at work. Thank you for sharing this link! What a wonderful story. Oh, how I miss President Obama.

  21. Andrea says...

    Also, learned from my Mom:

    1. ALWAYS put the tomato slices on top of the mayo in a sandwich!
    2. The best grilled cheese sandwiches have tomato in them (with mayo, of course) AND mayo spread on the outside of the bread, instead of butter. The mayo on the outside means no burning and a more evenly melted cheese.

    Yes, I am a menace when I order sandwiches.

  22. Andrea says...

    I would like a bowl of kitten, please.

  23. Patricia says...

    Kevin Pemoulie (from Mean Sandwiches, quote about the mayo) was my roommate back in the day. He is hands-down, the funniest person I have ever met. So happy for his success and what a trip to see him featured here.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is so awesome, patricia!

  24. Cooper says...

    I love the deliberate worrying technique! I’m going through a sad time (second miscarriage), and one of the tricks my therapist taught me was to schedule a specific time of day to be sad/grieve. It’s weirdly amazing – I can function pretty much as my normal happy self all day at work, and then as soon as I climb into my car at the end of the day, I become sad, almost like a reflex. The key is to actually take the time to deliberately process your emotions, so I spend some time journaling or reading as soon as I get home. It helps so much with all of the sad triggers I encounter throughout the day – I can notice them, and then “put off” feeling the sadness until the designated time. Sending light and love to all the other sad and worried people out there!

    • Nikki B says...

      Sending you hugs during your difficult time. If your grieving time is the car ride home, when I get in the car tomorrow to go home I’ll think of you and send you some love thoughts.