How to Be Present

YES. I have been re-training my brain since January to be present in the moment.
It’s been especially helpful to check in with the senses… what do I smell, what do I hear, etc.
I’m so much more at peace.

Could not agree more – I take the same road to work everyday – have been for years – and it only takes being stuck in traffic to notice something different every time – “has this restaurant/store been there all this time?”

Afternoon walks with the pups. No music, no phone. I like looking into people’s homes, imaging the potential in run down homes, feeling the cool breeze on my face, looking at what’s in season in other people’s planter boxes.

It’s amazing how much it can do for the soul. Now, following my own advice, I am getting off the computer now to take a walk. . . sometimes you gotta force yourself to. Worth it, though!!

Yes! I don’t do this often enough, but when I do it helps so much and I feel like I have a blissful moment of peace. To further pull me out of my own thoughts though, I have to engage additional senses , I ask myself to name at least one sight (pretty yellow leave), sound (birds in the trees), smell (crispy fall leaves) and feel (sun on my face).

Dear Joanna, I’ve been a very longterm reader of your lovely blog – thank you for the beautiful, funny and real articles you post. This is the first time I’m commenting, so I’m a bit nervous :) But your words struck a cord and I wanted to be a part of the conversation. I came to meditation and Buddhist philosophy a few years ago, in the midst of a personal meltdown. Sitting by myself for 10 minutes a day a few days a week had such an incredible effect on my mind and my awareness – I was suddenly so much more present in my own life – that I was almost a bit shocked at how I had managed without earlier. As you pointed out, really being where you currently find yourself, really taking things in and being present is really approaching life so differently and so much more intentionally and for me, its just improved my life so much. It has also taught me to watch myself and to get in touch with my thoughts, my feelings and consequently my reactions or responses more. Much more peace, much more of a feeling of being aware and not controlled by external circumstances. I’m excited to hear how things go for you in this aspect! Love from Frankfurt, vatsala

I too am working on practicing mindfulness and being in the moment. I began meditating with the Calm app a few months ago which has been a great tool!

sounds like the “observe” skills in DBT therapy.

Dog walks are a perfect opportunity… but I’ve been wasting them! Usually I focus on what my dog is doing that he shouldn’t be doing…. sniffing forever, staring at a dog too long, just being his crazy puppy self. When my husband and I go together we end up talking about work stress or things we have to do on the to-do weekend list. Recently we’ve started that we can only discuss/vent about work for ten minutes then no more work talk in evenings (suggested by one of your readers in a previous blog post – this has been great). Now I’m going to suggest to my husband that on our dog walks we only discuss non-judgemental notes of our neighbourhood….trees, lovely porches etc. Great ideas discovered here!

I literally went to counselling this week to help me deal with feeling overwhelmed with work and little kids! She encouraged me to try and have ‘healing moments’ which are essentially mindfulness exercises where you try and use each of your 5 senses to help you be in the present! I don’t get much past breathing in deeply the scent of my babies, but being conscious about it being a ‘healing moment’ seems to also help!

I’m also going to try this suggestion as well; life is just so full on at the moment, every chance to de-stress helps to deal with it a bit more!

YES. I am definitely in the “too much in my head/overthinker” camp and I love the peace that comes with looking up and around. I would like to return to it as my default way of moving through the world, instead of always being slightly distracted. Dogs help with this, too (I’m pulling for you, Alex!). Those furry homies are nothing but living in the moment.

And, thanks to COJ, I’ve been taking an indefinite break from social media (I forgot my phone at home & thought of when you wrote about doing that & agree: it’s NICE). It’s been a couple of weeks now and I feel so much more. . .calm? Still? I’m into it. Here and now can be quite the destination.

Yes! Nearly a year ago, I started doing a drawing a day for my Instagram, and I’ve found that it forces me to pay closer attention to everything around me. Even just taking a few minutes to sketch the most mundane object makes you look at it differently. And, as Erich Ohser says, “If you draw, the world becomes more beautiful, far more beautiful.”

Thanks for posting this Joanna! It really made me think. I felt like I was much more mindful before the creation of smart phones! I recently had a baby (she is 2 months) now and I noticed in the OBGYN office that all the patients are on their phone, that no one is poring through the pages of the glossy coffee table books or even making conversation! I was rather disappointed.

A couple of years ago I had a health issue and needed chemotherapy. One weekend I was assigned to get blood work at the local hospital and when there I was in a room waiting that contained patients waiting for new livers. These 3-4 patients were men, did not know each other, did not have their smartphones out, and were just soaking up every minute of health they had. It made me stop feeling sorry for myself and my health issue and to appreciate the good that we have. Smartphones-be-gone! When was the last time you had a conversation in a waiting room with another patient??

Anyways blogged about it here:

https://reemfaruqi.com/2015/02/06/the-troubles-of-strangers/

I couldn’t agree more! I also love including a big deep breath – it’s like a huge reset button for me. And leaving my phone at home absolutely helps. It used to make me panic – like I would miss a call or a message or a chance to photograph something – and now I yearn for walks sans-phone. My dog Hank is very supportive of this new strategy too.

Something I do to help myself stay in the moment and appreciate the wonderful city I live in is to take different routes to and from home. I like routine and schedule, but I find when I veer off my normal path, I’m more likely to notice the special magic and nuances of Austin. There’s beauty and wonder everywhere, every day; being with and around young children are a good reminder of this too! Kids are experts at noticing and paying attention to small details. Follow a kid around for awhile and delight in their curiosities. You’ll be reminded of just how precious this world is.

Double post here, but I’m just thinking about an activity that I do sometimes when I walk. I’ll focus not on what I can see, but what I can hear. I’ll pay really close attention to one noise at a time, and I’ll see if I can tell what it is, if it’s close or far, what direction it’s coming from, etc. Really makes you focus!

I just listened to an episode of the podcast On Being with Krista Tippett that is about this exact idea – noticing new things as a way to stay present. The guest is social scientist Ellen Langer. Worth a listen.

https://onbeing.org/programs/ellen-langer-science-of-mindlessness-and-mindfulness-nov2017/

I feel like I disconnect from my phone a lot more than the average person. When I take my dog for his walk in the morning and when I get home from work, I won’t bring my phone. We don’t go super far, but it’s nice to just walk and look around and take in the day. When I workout I also don’t listen to music and prefer silence. When I first started running I would listen to music but stopped for a few reasons: 1) The music would interfere with my natural tempo and I found myself altering my pace, 2) I couldn’t hear my breathing, and 3) I couldn’t hear anything around me which is a safety issue. At first I thought I would be so bored not listening to anything but I really enjoy it! I just zone out and listen to my breath and the sound of my feet against the pavement.

As a therapist, if my clients could take only one thing away from our work together it would be THIS! Mindfulness is such a powerful tool to help us manage our own stress and anxiety, and the bonus: you can literally do it anywhere. One favorite exercise that I share with almost all my clients is this:
1. What is something you see around you? Describe it. What color is it? Are the colors dull or bright? What is the shape? How big or small is it?
2. What is something you hear around you? Describe it. Is is loud or quiet? Does it have a rhythm? It is soothing or jarring?
3. What is something you taste? Describe it. The bitter aftertaste of your morning coffee? The mint you just finished? The lingering chill of your water?
4. What is something you feel? Describe it. The chair beneath you? Is it firm or soft? Do you feel supported? The gum in your mouth? Is it soft and minty or hard and flavorless?
5. What is something you smell? Describe it. Is it pleasant or unpleasant? Is it faint or strong? Can you recognize the origin?

When you’re focusing so intently on your current state of being or what is around you, it’s hard to be in your head.

Love reading all these comments! For my part, I’ve stopped listening to music or podcasts when I walk somewhere. At first it felt like I was wasting time, but now it feels so soothing to me to walk to the gym or the library or the train just being in the world.

Speaking of podcasts, so many folks talking about trouble with their phones – I highly recommend the Note to Self podcast and Manoush’s new book, Bored and Brilliant. So many great thoughts on technology in modern life.