Motherhood

Conversations With Toby and Anton

Conversations With Toby and Anton

Have your kids (or kids you know) said anything funny recently? Now that Toby is seven and Anton is three, I love hearing what’s going on in their little minds! (In fact, Anton’s recent report card began: “Anton is a cool-as-a-cucumber little fellow,” haha.) Here are a few things they’ve busted out with this spring…

Anton: “This jet was made in the 1980s.”
Me: “What does the 1980s mean?”
Anton: “It means a long long time ago when dinosaurs were here.”

Me: “Anton, I love being your mommy. I love talking about knights and bugs with you.”
Anton: “Yeah, I like to talk about bugs because I’m scared of them. And I want to figure out a way, not to KILL them, but to make them all leave this planet.”

The other day, Toby lost a tooth when I was out of town. I wondered if Alex had remembered to put a coin under his pillow. When I got home, Toby and I had this conversation:
Me: “So, the tooth fairy came on Saturday morning???”
Toby: “Yes, but she was a little late.”
Me: “You mean, a coin wasn’t there when you woke up?”
Toby: “No, but she is so busy. There are so many kids.”
Me: “That’s true. But then you found it?”
Toby: “Daddy went to look and HE found it!!!!”

Anton: “Why did you name me Anton?”
Me: “Daddy and I loved the name Anton.”
Anton: “Why not a different name?” (Kind of perturbed.)
Me: “What name would you choose?”
Anton: “House Plant.”

Anton: “Can you wipe my face off?” (Laughs.) “Not wipe my face off, that would hurt. Can you wipe my face?”

Anton is such a super fan of Toby. It is so cute to see the little brother / big brother dynamic. One recent morning, I overheard them, as Toby was getting dressed for school. Says Anton: “That will look really nice on you! You should wear that! That will fit you po-feckly!!!”

Toby and Anton also write many letters to their hero — the actor Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, who performed the voice of Maui in the movie Moana. Toby usually asks questions like, “Dwayne Johnson, would you mind to bring me a fish hook?” or “Can you teach me the ‘You’re Welcome’ lyrics?” And Anton recently drew him a picture of a spider and transcribed the following note:

Dear Dwayne Johnson the Rock,
I hope you have a good time with my spider. And I hope you have a good time at all. And see you another day when you invite me there. 89 minutes to Brooklyn where our house is! The picture is a spider. There are also veins like in our body and there are straight ones and curly ones, also loopty-loop ones.
Goodbye, Dwayne Johnson!
Love, Anton

Conversations With Toby and Anton

What cute things are your kids talking about these days? I’d love to hear…

P.S. Toby’s week of outfits, and a kids’ guide to NYC.
P.P.S. I hope you have a good time at all.

  1. JMT says...

    Age 3, almost 4: I got Frances’s water bottle for her at breakfast. She said, pointing to her toy cup that had some water in it, “Thank you, but I don’t need that. If I ever needed water, I’d say -” gesturing regally, “Fetch another batch!”

  2. Cait says...

    These posts are such a great way to keep track of your fabulous family history. My mom has a notebook that she has all of our funny quotes in. It was always in the kitchen easy to access if something funny came up. When me or any of my 3 siblings said anything hilarious, someone in the family would say, “That goes In the book!” As we got older, the kids did the writing.
    I’m 32 now and its so fun to look over the quotes and topics over the years. My mom still adds to this book to this day. The most recent add was a hilarious autocorrect conversation.

  3. kristina says...

    recently we’ve been having a conversation about a movie with my 4 year old daughter an I explained, that what is on tv is not for real, that the people there are just actors and they just play it out. I probably haven’t explained it good enough, cause about two days later on a drive home suddenly came a question: “Mum, are we real?”

  4. Oh my lord, so cute.
    My three year old had the hiccups recently and told me she had the “hip hops”.

  5. VP says...

    Omg! Dwayne Johnson is one lucky dude.

  6. Recently while camping with my fiance’s family, I was chatting with my 2-year-old niece. She loves sharing things, especially food and drink, always offering hers to you, or taking from your plate. I was drinking champagne, and she asked for some. I said, “No, this is a drink for adults only. I’m sorry.” To which she replied, in a disappointed tone, “I’m sorry too.”

    We were also out on a putting course, and my fiance was “riding the bull” with his golf club. She has a mini wooden golf set, so she picked up her tiny wood putter, points at me and demands “Stacy do it!” So yes, I momentarily “rode the bull” with an 14″ stick between my legs in public. You can’t say no to a 2-year-old!

  7. Molly K says...

    My three-year-old asked me yesterday, “Why is your nose attached between your eyes?” [touches the bridge of his nose] “Is it so your eyes isn’t one whole eye?” And today he saw something swimming down the river in our back yard and thought it looked like it might be “a beaver or a warthog or something.” My five-year-old at bedtime tonight told me he can’t think and sleep at the same time, and I realized it was an awesome way to explain the racing-mind-at-bedtime problem.

  8. The things that little kids say bring me endless joy. Our 3.5-year-old daughter is really into magic lately. She asks us if we want to see a magic trick. The answer is always yes. Then, she runs from the room full speed. A few minutes later, she strolls into the room nonchalantly and says, “I disappeareded.”

    When she was 2, she would say “I’m glad _____” about anything she loved. One day, she looked at my husband with the gushiest eyes and said, “I’m glad my dad.” Our hearts melted and I had a the quote framed for him for Father’s Day that year. What a joy!

  9. Amanda A says...

    At the airport last month, my 3.5 year old son and I got on the train to take us between terminals and the automated announcement said “The departing train is going to terminal C.” My son beamed and said, “She just said this is the party train!!” Love their little minds!!

  10. Beth says...

    I love these posts, so darn cute! The other day, my two year old was pretending to leave to go to work. Curious what she thinks her daddy does all day, I asked her what she does at work. And she replied, “eat beans and sing songs.” Sounds like a pretty great job!

  11. Danielle says...

    These are some of my favorite posts, Joanna! My three-year-old daughter has been on a roll lately.

    Maya: Mommy, why are you sad?
    Me: The man on TV had a bad accident, but now he’s all better.
    Maya: Did he have an accident in his pants? That happens.

    Also, she recently got new goggles, put them on, and said:
    “I can’t see. It’s too soggy.”

    Made me smile all day:)

  12. Katie says...

    I share an apartment with my brother, and we go to Mass together. After church, my friend’s 6yo said ‘Miss Katie is here with her husband!!’ and my friend corrected him, saying, ‘No, that’s her brother.’ And he was so perplexed and exclaimed, ‘She’s married to her brother??!’ I DIEEEED.

  13. Anton is a really funny boy, and I find this big brother // little brother quite interesting as well. I don’t have kids yet, but I’ll sure be sharing all these stories when the time comes!

  14. Anaïs says...

    My step-kids have been on a roll these days with just the most hilarious comments! My hubby-to-be got up from our sun-damaged hammock and ripped it. We all laughed, but our youngest came to his defense to say “it’s not daddy’s fault! It’s just his weight!”.

    We were also listening to the Shakira song “Hips Don’t Lie” and he looked at us, puzzled, and then exclaimed: “My hips don’t lie? They don’t even talk! How can they lie?”.

    I love these posts, keep them coming please! :) You’ve inspired me to keep better track of all the funny things they say!

  15. It’s so nice for Anton and Toby to have these posts as a record of their childhood, and to be able to re-read them when they’re older. It will be a nice reminder to them of how much you loved them and all their individuality :-)

  16. My boyfriend’s 4-year-old and I were talking about cats, to which he is allergic. He said “I want a cat… but one with no hair… and no skin.” I nearly died inside.

  17. SCG says...

    I hope that they do get to meet Dwayne Johnson. It would be so cool!

  18. Liv says...

    My little 4-year-old, saying his morning prayers- ‘please bless that Mom won’t be crabby all day and please bless that she won’t eat all the brownies before we get home from school’-

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha

  19. J says...

    HAAAAAAA, I love the letter to Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson! This made me laugh so hard. I hope you save a copy of that letter forever.

  20. Marlena says...

    Love this!! It has been a long time since I had these sorts of conversations with my daughter…( she is 19 and away from home). However, I remember lying on her bed at night just after reading a chapter from what ever book we were going through and just chatting about her day. Great times. Also, you need to get the Rock’s app for Anton. My husband is a fan of the rock and it is an alarm with his voice and other funny recordings that are motivational…..could be very entertaining! On another note I just love and look forward to reading your blog. It is my positive palate cleanser for the craziness I see read in the news!

  21. My 3 year old son had his first encounter with the ice cream truck when it drove past our house last weekend. My husband stopped it and got a couple of treats for the family, and when I came outside, my son yelled, “I got a popsicle from the mailman!”

  22. Elizabeth F. says...

    We say a prayer before eating dinner every night. One night my 2 yo son said, “Mommy, I don’t even know who God is! Is it Uncle Scott, Uncle Stephen!?” My brothers were thrilled to hear this!

    • Anna Kleinfeld says...

      Oh my heart!! Ha!

  23. Marie says...

    Five-year old yawns, then immediately follows it up with, “That was DEFINITELY NOT a yawn. I was stretching.”

    • Malina says...

      hahaha!

  24. Tamara says...

    This is such a sweet post. Your kids seem genuinely kind and funny, and fun to be around.

    I keep a running list on my phone with the things my 3 year old says. Some hightlights lately:

    – When I told him he couldn’t watch a show while I put his baby brother down for a nap, and he asked me why and I responded that he’d already watched one show that morning and that was enough, and he said, “Come on, girl, be crazy!” It cracked me up.

    – “Daddy likes two kinds of cars: Wamborghinis and Safaris.” (Translation: Lamborghinis and Ferraris)

    – He was watching a line of ants at the park and he asked me what they were doing. I replied that they were busy getting food for their friends and family, and doing their little ant work, and he responded with, “Like with their little computers?”

    – And, a few nights ago my husband texted me from our son’s room at bedtime, and told me that the lights were out and our son was saying goodnight to everything very quietly – good night sky, good night dinosaurs, and dogs, circles, turtles, children. The sweetness and sillines (circles!) of it just made me feel profoundly grateful for the experience of living with young children.

    • I love this idea of keeping a record of the conversations in your phone because it’s always with you. I always mean to write them all down. I get about 50% because I just can’t remember.

  25. Nina Nattiv says...

    (while reading the Frozen book with my 3 year old girls)
    Sisi: Mommy, icy magic blasts out of Elsa’s hands!?!?
    Me: yes
    Sisi: Does it blast out of her vagina?
    Me: Um, maybe?
    Sisi: Does it blast out of her but?
    Me: Its very possible.

    If anyone thinks only boys are obsessed with buts and private parts, I present to you my sweet Sisi.

  26. Erin G. says...

    Though my four-year-old has heard his birth story many a time, I didn’t realize, until recently, he misunderstood one key component…

    Riding along in the car, discussing when he was a baby (one of his current favorite topics to converse about), August says to me, “So after you got pregnant you went around looking for a papa and found our papa cause you thought he’d be a good papa to me?”

    I died laughing the rest of the way home.

  27. Heather says...

    My two-year-old was out kayaking with her grandma near our campsite. They got stuck in a shallow spot and she yelled, “Can someone please help us?” When we didn’t come as quickly as she’d like, she changed to “Can someone please ASSIST us??!”

  28. You’re so good at capturing these conversations. Do you write them down immediately? What’s your strategy?!?!? Whenever my kids say something unbearable sweet I swear I’ll remember it….guess what? I never do. Or I remember kind of what they said, which is never nearly as sweet…

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I often text or email myself so I remember them :)

  29. Ana says...

    “House plant”… Hahaha !! How awesome !!!

  30. Chrissy S. says...

    Your Conversations posts give me enhanced baby fever. My husband and I read these together every time, and as we have gotten closer to trying, they make me so emotional! Kids are hilarious. Also, my parents have been repeating something I said when I was young on a yearly basis:

    me: “Mommy, how old are you?”
    mom: “30”
    me: “yikes, that’s too many!”

    I also came home from visiting an old folks’ home once sobbing, saying “I don’t want to be old. I want to stay new!”

  31. Amanda says...

    My daughter is still holding out hope I marry Dwayne The Rock Johnson. This has been going on since her Dad and I divorced 7 years ago. She is 14 now…….still hoping I marry this amazing man, even though I tell her he has a partner and a new baby!

  32. These are the most precious days!

    My 3 and a half year old, who attends day care, and naps on a cot there, asked me recently if we also have cots at work. When I told her no, we don’t, she was very concerned and asked why we don’t get to nap. She also asks a lot why I don’t get “outside time” while at the office. I love seeing how children relate to the world through their own familiar routines.

  33. DonnaS says...

    OMG, this is so funny! I love little kids so much. I miss having littles :(

  34. Sara B says...

    My 2 year old, Asher: Asher, what do you want to do today? Eat.
    He also saw a picture of me in a swimsuit and said Mama no pants!

  35. Sofia says...

    Toby and Anton are just the coolest little people. I have a 2 and a half year old who NEVER stops talking (I love her for it!) and she cracks me up all the time. The other day we were explaining “We’re going to see daddy’s book presentation. You know daddy writes comic books?”. Unimpressed, she thought about it for a second and declared: “I play the drums.” Which she didn’t even own by the way. (Of course we got her a little drum soon after :) )

  36. Just the other day my 4 year old said, “When you turn 5 you get a dino flashlight, when you turn 6, you go to Disneyland, and when you’re 7, that means you go to Costco.” I hope he thinks they are all equally fun!

    • Kendra says...

      Brilliant! Love this!

  37. My Little recently told me he had, “so many yawns in his mouth.” Ha! Then last night while I was bandaiding a boo-boo, he kissed my cheek and said, “I love you, mama. You always know how to fix me.” and then ran off to play. (Insert heart-eyes emoji!!)

  38. Lael says...

    haha i love them!! so dear

  39. Jeannie Ireland says...

    When my sons and nephew were little, my nephew would be at our home a lot to play. I asked him one day if he would like some orange juice. He came running into the kitchen, out of breath, and stopped and asked, “Is it the kind that has pollen in it, Aunt Jean, because I don’t like the kind with pollen in it” and just stared at me very seriously. I knew what he meant and was just dying inside. I answered very seriously, “No, Johnathon, we buy the kind without pollen, we don’t like the kind with pollen either”, and he replied, “oh good!, either do I! I’ll take some then!”