Alex and I were laughing the other day about how differently we’ve approached parenting with our second child versus our first. You learn to be so much more relaxed! Comedian Jason Good wrote this pitch-perfect comparison in his book This is Ridiculous, This is Amazing…
Raising Your First vs. Your Second Child
By Jason Good, father of two
First Kid: All homemade in special baby-food processor. Quinoa! Spinach! Sweet potatoes!
Second Kid: Crackers.
First Kid: Crib that Daddy put together himself while Mommy yelled at him.
Second Kid: Mommy’s bed. Daddy now has his own room with a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty socks.
First Kid: One hundred percent organic cotton. Some even made of bamboo?
Second Kid: His brother’s old clothes.
First Kid: In our backyard with a piñata hanging from the Japanese maple.
Second Kid: Pizza on the floor.
First Kid: Every night in a special bathtub that’s just the right size. Hand-washed with a soft cloth or silky sponge.
Second Kid: Twice a week. Swimming pools count.
First Kid: Swaddled in a Miracle Blanket. “Baby Beluga” sung to him. Asleep by 7:30pm.
Second Kid: Falls asleep on the sofa with mom’s boob in his mouth at 10:30pm.
First Kid: Playgroups, mommy and baby get-togethers in the park!
Second Kid: His brother’s friends.
First Kid: All handmade out of wood. Mostly Swedish.
Second Kid: The boxes his brother’s toys came in.
First Kid: PBS/Sesame Street only. Two 23-minute shows per day.
Second Kid: Has his own Netflix account.
First Kid: Something European with an umlaut in its name.
Second Kid: Old muddy shoes with faded umlaut and missing sole insert.
First Kid: Diapers, then some kind of training underwear, then underwear.
Second Kid: Might crap in a diaper until college.
First Kid: A wonderful woman named Sarah, whom he loves and will cherish for the rest of his life.
Second Kid: Doesn’t have one. We never go out.