Reading the comments on Cup of Jo is a guaranteed pick-me-up. You can find everything you need, from friendship tips to breakup advice to sex talk. But, while all reader comments are godsends, I live for those that spark a thread of “omg,” “hahaha,” and “lol.” To add some giggles to your day, here are 10 funny ones…
“I was recently wearing some black leather-like leggings (from Athleta, super comfy and attractive!) while with my parents. My dad says, ‘Are they waterproof? Why do they look weird like that?’ I say, ‘No it’s just a style, fashion purposes only.’ He looks bewildered… ‘huh, how about that.’” — Mariah
On little dudes:
“My seven-year-old suggested that we leave this review of a beautiful hike on All Trails: ‘It was okay, but I’m never going to do it again in my entire life.'” — Kristen
“My toddler calls elevators ‘alligators’ and confuses present and president. When I found out she knew what my husband had bought for my birthday, I tried to wheedle it out of her by saying, ‘Did Daddy get Mommy a present?’ She whispered yes. I said, ‘What present did he get?’ and she power-whispered, ‘JOE BIDEN.'” — Jayme
“My two-year-old has a new ritual: at night, she looks out our darkened picture window, then turns to me and seriously assures me that there are ‘No people, Mommy.’ It’s hard to shake the feeling that she is saying this because at one point there WERE people out there?!” – Anna
“A few years ago, I set up a dinner date with a promising guy. I arrived at the restaurant first. A couple minutes after being seated, I looked up and saw my date coming toward me. I stood up and said ‘hello!’ and gave him a big hug. I sat down and asked how his weekend was going. He just stood there and said, ‘Good!’ with a smile on his face, and then intently asked me how I was doing. I remember thinking, ‘Why isn’t this guy sitting down?’ We chatted for a minute and then I suddenly realized… this guy is not sitting down because HE IS THE WAITER. He was wearing a black T-shirt and nice jeans, something a lot of guys wear on dates. He clearly thought that we must know each other and was trying to figure out how. I was so embarrassed. My date arrived a couple of minutes later (he got a hug, too). At the end of the dinner, the waiter dropped off the check and was like, ‘It was so good to see you again!'” – Liz
“I was driving to the airport when I had the most sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I practically skidded off the road to a gas station and made a beeline for the toilet. Afterward, I bought a pack of gum because the restroom was for ‘customers only.’ The teenage-boy clerk rang me up and said, ‘Do you have gas?’ In my already-mortified state, I felt shock and horror and replied, ‘No, I have diarrhea.’ Turns out he meant gas for the car.” — Jenny
“After college, I was working a cool but low-paying job, so I supplemented my income by dog-sitting. I was staying at a couple’s house, watching their Great Dane. I woke up one morning, stepped out of the house onto the screened-in porch, and let the dog out. What I didn’t do was keep the door to the house ajar, so I locked myself out wearing only my pajamas — a cropped T-shirt and a thong. I knew the next-door neighbors had a spare key, but I had to improvise a way to cover up. One of the homeowners was an at-home hair stylist, and there happened to be a cape on the porch. So, I put the cape on, snapped it around my neck, and walked over to the neighbors’ at 6:30 a.m. with my bum covered just enough to request the key. I made no mention of why I was wearing a cape around my neck. Why I didn’t just wrap the cape around my waist as a makeshift skirt, I will never know.” — Abigail
“For our wedding, we rented a 50-foot tent to put on a farm. Toward the end of the evening, a storm rolled into the valley. A huge gust of wind picked up the tent, flipped it upside down and dragged it up the mountainside. Apparently, my 90-year-old grandfather had been holding onto one of the poles, and later he calmly reported the incident from his perspective: ‘I thought, I should let go. So I did. And there she went.'” – Mikaela
On funny TV:
“Moira: You realize the bébé is crying?
Johnny: I do, yes.
Moira: Isn’t it scheduled to be dormant by now?
Kills me every time.” – Denise
On pet peeves:
“My husband has recently become a very loud sneezer. We’ve been married for 20 years and I am 100% certain we never would have had a second date if he sneezed like THAT on our first date! It’s hard not to murder him now, but he’s otherwise a fine human being.” — Awads
(Photo from Ted Lasso.)