Have a Cozy Weekend.

What are your weekend plans? First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for the incredibly generous outpouring of support for Kim, both with the GoFundMe and your beyond lovely notes. I know that Kim, her fiancé, and her family are all incredibly touched and grateful, as are we. Truly. Hope you have a wonderful weekend — squeeze the people you love! — and here are a few links from around the web…

The Worst Person in the World looks like a legitimately great rom-com.

How heavy a workload can/should you truly handle? Loved this New Yorker essay.

My everyday uniform: top + jeans + shoes.

What a fun Istanbul apartment. The striped reading nook!

The softness of Black women.

Why we care so much about baby names. (The Atlantic)

What’s the best red velvet cake recipe?

Loved this story of one couple’s IVF journey. (The New Yorker)

Amy Schneider — now Jeopardy’s top female earner and the first openly transgender contestant to compete in Tournament of Champions — wears a good-luck charm.

Pizza compass.

A rad Seinfeld remix.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Tracey on parenting teens: “As an aunty, I would offer the advice: deliberately choose them. ‘There’s MY guy, how have you been?’ ‘I love it when WE cook together.’ The teenage years are full of anxiety about having a group among their peers; make it clear they have one with you. They’ll sometimes roll their eyes, but if you stick with it, you’ll be golden. Everyone wants to be chosen.”

Says Irene on parenting teens: “Every holiday, my teen makes me a Spotify playlist of her recent favorites. It is amazing how much more conversation you can have with your teen once you understand and enjoy their musical preferences. Next time they ask what you want as a gift, tell them to design a playlist for you. They will love the creative aspect and the fact that you are interested in their ‘culture.’ And the music is great!”

Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.

(Photo by Helen Rushbrook/Stocksy.)

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Lillian

February 7, 2022 3:43pm 3:43 pm

I gave birth to our first child, a daughter, in December. Like the author’s wife, I had an unexpected c-section after an induction and reading that article brought me right back to the OR. The last couple of sentences made me cry. My soul fell out, too!

Kristin

February 7, 2022 2:58pm 2:58 pm

Seeing Kim’s (amazing! wonderful!) GoFundMe succeed (four times over!) is so inspiring – this community has so much impact. Would love to see in the future, on a blog with lots of power and privilege, more mutual aid being shared often and openly, maybe recurring posts? Mutual aid challenges us to reframe giving in addition to being about communities coming together in crisis, as understanding that capitalism and its systemic oppression exist for people, disproportionately BIPOC, disabled, femme, and undocumented folks, every day. Confronting our models of giving, that are often in exceptional circumstances or to nonprofit corporations, rather than radically reckoning with economic inequality and dedicating ourselves to an outpouring of financial support for those who ask for it is essential to destabilizing the power structures that keep people oppressed. I highly recommend Dean Spade’s Mutual Aid for more on this. As Spade says: “Robust social movements…argue that all the aspects of our lives—where and how we live and work, eat, entertain ourselves, get around, and get by are sites of injustice and potential resistance. At our best, social movements create vibrant social networks in which we not only do work in a group, but also have friendships, make art, have sex, mentor and parent kids, feed ourselves and each other, build radical land and housing experiments, and inspire each other about how we can cultivate liberation in all aspects of our lives. Activism and mutual aid shouldn’t feel like volunteering or like a hobby—it should feel like living in alignment with our hopes for the world and with our passions. It should enliven us.”

Anon

Reply to Kristin

February 8, 2022 7:41am 7:41 am

I feel so fortunate to live in Canada where we might have to pay some taxes (but still have a fantastic standard of living), and that is how we help each other. If someone grows ill, our government systems are in place to care for us and help us without financial ruin. It is just so hard to understand how so many citizens in the USA can be against healthcare.

February 8, 2022 7:53am 7:53 am

I want to add that my thoughts have been with Kim, friends and loved ones, and agree I00% how inspiring it is that people unite to help. Through all this, I have also felt sadness that people should have to worry about finding a way to fund their care on top of everything else.

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