Motherhood

Toby and Anton in Conversation

toby and anton

During these days spent at home, ten-year-old Toby and seven-year-old Anton have kept us on our toes, but also have made us laugh. Here are a few things they’ve busted out with recently…

Anton gets jealous if Alex and I show each other physical affection. The other day, Alex kissed me in the kitchen, and Anton wriggled in between us and pushed us apart: “Stay six Antons apart! SIX ANTONS APART!!!”

Announced Toby: “I’m 10, so you can’t call me Tubby Wubby anymore. You can call me Toby… or call me Trax.”

Anton tackled Toby, then paused and said: “Bro, how do you get that soft skin? For real?”

To pass time in the car, Toby randomly started listing the top 10 best looking men in the world: “1. Brad Pitt, 2. Steph Curry, 3. young dad…”

Last night, Anton asked me: “Would you rather have a locket with a picture of Toby and me… or a reeeeally beautiful locket with diamonds and pearls and a picture of just me?”

note

An evening note from Anton. (What’s poppin’???)

Joanna and Anton

Joanna and Anton

Feeling so lucky to have these little weirdos!

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? How old are they? I’d love to hear…

P.S. Toby and Anton in more conversations, including when Toby was three years old.

  1. Stacy S says...

    Yesterday at the lunch table my 2year old told me “you buy more blueberries then you go to work”
    Waking up from naps lately, “Mama, where are you?!”
    Whenever we go over rumble strips in the car or hears anything remotely sounding like a fart, he yells out “Greeeettttaa!” (Greta is our cat)

  2. Annie says...

    Toby is right to put Brad in the first place spot.

  3. Joanna Tsay says...

    Gotta join in. One that is our favorite, so funny but also kind of heartbreaking, was when our eldest was maybe three and was playing on a playground. One slide had gotten super hot in the sun and when he sat down on it, he started crying and asked, “could somebody turn the air on?”

    Recent funny one. 2 yr old woke up having slept on his arm so it had fallen asleep and he said, “This one not working.”

    Last one for now: 5 yr old struggles with giant boogers that petrify in his nostrils and they are always an ordeal to remove. Most recently he came running downstairs to tell me all about the most recent extraction and he said “Daddy made me blow five times and then finally the fifth time the booger shot out my nose like a racecar” to which I responded “Oh, like how you came out of my body during the last push.”

  4. Laura says...

    My 4-year-old just turned to me out of the blue and said, “Mom, when I’m 10, I will know everything.”

  5. Carol says...

    My 4 year old son recently:
    “Don’t tell ANYONE this… *looks side to side to see if anyone’s looking* … I actually love pink.”

    And my new favorite way of phrasing how I feel about him too:
    Snuggling up to me before bed, gave a big sigh and said “I’m just stuck loving you.”

  6. Madeleine says...

    My delicious 4 yo daughter just summarised my motto for life when I asked her if she wanted Parmesan on her pasta: “cheese, cheese, cheese, yes, yes, please!”.

  7. L says...

    My 1.5 year old daughter Rachel is just starting to pick up some words. She was wearing purple jammies with big white polka dots on them, and when we asked her what was on her jammies, she said “moons!”. Loved the interpretation.

  8. Rachel says...

    My two-year-old has started asking, “What happened to me?” after he recovers from being upset. We review that he felt frustrated, he felt upset, etc, and now he feels better. I think many of us may be asking ourselves ‘What happened to me?” at this point in 2020!

    • Suzy T says...

      Love this. It’s great she wants to figure out her big feelings! And yes, in this crazy world- what happened to me!!

  9. Lucy says...

    My five year old called me a “savage infidel”. No idea where he got the language from. I thought Shakespeare would be impressed with that quality insult

    • Meg says...

      Laughing out loud on this one!

  10. OM says...

    I’ve spent 30 mins laughing out loud! This post and all the comments are so good! Thank you!

  11. Christine says...

    Oh my gosh, they are too cute! May I say Toby looks like a mini Timathee Chalamet in that photo lol
    My daughter, who’s almost 4, said to me that she pooped a super big long poop. It looked like a Yule log 😂

  12. Cheryl says...

    My daughter is so painfully jealous of my husband and I being affectionate and she’s 8. I was hoping she’d outgrow it by now because it’s really a drag. But it’s nice to see we’re not the only ones. I see you, Anton, buddy. There’s enough love to go around.
    My daughter confessed that while she loves daddy, I’m special to her. It’s crazy because I never imagined my daughter loving me to such dramatic lengths.

  13. Christin says...

    Do you have music in your nose?

    – three year old

    (Music or mucus)

    • Christin says...

      I really did a double take reading this comment because my name is spelled the same way, but I’ve only ever met 1 other Christin in my life!

      Our moms picked a rare version of a popular name. The Ch- combined with the -in always throws people off.

    • Actually it’s the common version of the name here in Germany. :-)

  14. Anne says...

    Uh, I love the conversations and all the great comments.

    When our son was 3, we were in a train driving past our old apartment and we told him “this is where we used to live before you were born” and he said “yes, that is before I came and found you two rascals” Too funny!

  15. nl says...

    last week my 3 yr old forgot the word for skin and called it his “bone cover” and i’ve been laughing for 5 days straight. “mama i got a scratch on my bone cover!” heheheheh (i’ll never correct him)

  16. Elina says...

    A kid I was babysitting spaced out majorly one day and I asked her what was up and she said, “The store of my head is almost closed” WHICH IS SUCH A RELATABLE FEELING.

    She also said (upon turning 4): “I’m a big kid, but I’m still kinda tiny”, which, again, VERY relatable.

  17. sc says...

    They crack me up!! hahaha such joyful boys. Thanks for sharing Joanna!

  18. Kristian Olson says...

    My three (almost four, what?!) year old recently learned the Frosty the Snowman song. At lunch, apropos of nothing, he says, ” I know Snowmen-come-to-life not real. But…Magic Hat?”

    His arms come out to shrug in a sign of, “Eh, seems logically enough. Must be true.”

    • Katie says...

      Haha! My 4 year old was singing “Frosty the Snowman” the other day too and replaced ‘Parson Brown’ with ‘possum brown’. That line must be confusing for most children. I had a child-brain interpretation when i was a kid too. Did anyone else?

  19. Kelly says...

    My mom overheard this conversation between my 6 yo old daughter and 5 yo nephew as they sat and had lunch together…..
    Daughter: There’s this boy in my class who picks on me and bothers me even though I tell him to stop.
    Nephew: Well, he’s going to hell!
    Daughter: What’s hell?!
    Nephew: A dark place where naughty people go.
    Daughter: Yeah, he’s definitely going to hell then.

  20. Sarah Atkinson says...

    My daughter just turned one so doesn’t speak a whole lot, but she likes to play a little joke on me. She can say Mama, but she never says it to me directly. She’ll say it to Daddy and other people, but when I ask “can you say Mama?” she usually says “Dada” and laughs. The other night I asked again if she could say Mama…she turned to me and said “yes” and turned away laughing.

    • Annie says...

      Haha in the same boat with my 9 month old! He’ll whisper “mmmaaaa….ma” and I come running at him going “MAMA??” And he smiles and responds “…dada”

  21. Anne says...

    This made me laugh so hard I cried because my almost-3 daughter shouts these kinds of things from her crib for an hour after being put down for nap. “Mama, are you hiding? Where are you?”
    Today’s gem (while dad was on phone and we were wrestling her into PJs), “I have a penis!” Nope, you don’t.

  22. AJ says...

    Awww hahaha they’re hilarious and such cool little humans!

  23. b says...

    Does everyone know about @livefromsnacktime on Instagram? It’s an entire feed filled with hilarious thoughts from kids, submitted by the adults in their lives and it’s the best part of 2020.

  24. Becka says...

    Ha I love this! Two-year-old Anna starts whining quite loudly when my husband and I are affectionate — apparently it’s only acceptable for her to be the recipient of our kisses and squeezes.

  25. Emily says...

    I have three year old twins so we get real gems pretty much every day. A recent favorite: we had been listening to the lion king soundtrack a lot, especially Hakuna Matata. I told the girls I needed to get a bucket of water to clean something up and one of them said “A bucket of water… what a wonderful phrase”.

  26. Alicia says...

    My two year old is fixated with nipples. If I draw anything for her, she will say, “and its nipples…” until I draw nipples on whatever person, animal or inanimate object I have drawn. Ever wondered what a rainbow’s nipples would look like? Me neither, but now I have pictures of the up in my house.

    • Sage says...

      BAHAHAHA, hilarious.

    • Megan says...

      Laughing so hard at this, Alicia!!!

    • Liz says...

      SAME – with our two and a half year old son! He sees me breastfeed his sister, and it has turned into us wondering where nipples are on every. Thing. He. Sees.

    • Laura says...

      Oh my goodness I just laughed so hard at this! I also have a 2 year old so I completely understand. Gotta love those little weirdos!

    • I am crying laughinnnnnnng.

    • Rachel says...

      Our 5 year old daughter made a comment about water ripples recently, and my 3 year old son says, “NIPPLES?! Mommy!! Water has nipples!!” :)

  27. kendyll says...

    my 5yo recently told the family “don’t call me ellie bellie anymore, it’s just ellie.” 😢 one of those my-little-kid-suddenly-turned-into-a-big-kid moments. (been doing my best to honor her statement—it’s a hard habit to break!)

    • Elizabeth says...

      Aww! As an Ellie, I have this same memory from when I was 9!!

  28. Mac says...

    My very sensitive 6 year old at the end of a long week, shouted from the stairs: I do NOT feel loved right now!!

    My 3 year old son after his 6 year old sister came out of the bathroom: Lucy stinked up the whole baffroom, I will stink up the whoooole house!

    Sometimes I think my little 3 year old is forgetting “the before times.” At the beginning of the pandemic, he would ask for all kinds of things that we couldn’t do anymore, but he isn’t doing that now. We recently stopped at an outdoor mall in the evening, all lit up in Christmas lights and decorations. He stopped, looked around, and yelled, OH MY GOSH I LOVE THE PLACE.

    • Monika says...

      This got me in the heart! Your kids sound wonderful and what you said about ‘the before times’ is bittersweet but also inspiring. Some kids can move forward through these difficult times with such creativity and simplicity. Every time my kids laugh with abandon, I forget for a split second how hard everything is. I really do think that kids are the best of us.

  29. Carly says...

    These just made me laugh. They’re so cute <3

  30. Kelley says...

    We were reading one of our favorite books the other day and a conversation about animals in the house came up. Ever since then, my 3 year old has been asking everyone what they would do if they saw a camel in their hallway. I love hearing everyone’s response to such a crazy question.

  31. Megan says...

    My kids are older, but still so funny. Last week when we had the fireplace on, my 14 year old walked into the house and said, “Ugh. It’s hot in here.”
    My husband said (with a wink at me), “Your mom’s hot.”
    My kid’s smirky response, “…tempered.”

  32. AB says...

    Thank you for this post – I needed it. I’m just launching on my journey to having kids (pulling the goalie tomorrow!) and so so much of writing about kids/pregnancy/motherhood is negative. Thank you for reminding me that there is much charm & joy to look forward to!

    • Sage says...

      Block any “mommy needs wine”-type accounts you ever come across. Or anything that equates parenting with being your kid’s first bully. That shit is noxious and poisonous. Kids are a delight. It’s fun. Your heart swells to bursting. It can also be mundane, but hell, so is life in general. :) Cheers, and I hope it’s an easy journey to motherhood for you!

      (My unasked for advice – sorry! – is to listen to YOURSELF when it comes to the personal decision of how many children to have. I have an only and I’m fulfilled; it’s the exact right amount of love and precociousness and fun and excitement with enough time/money left over for myself. I think *some* people’s apparent unhappiness in parenthood can stem from taking on too much, and for me 2 kids would be too much. You’re a mother when you have your child, whether bio or through adoption. Full stop.)

    • A says...

      Agree SAGE. Everyone’s situation is different and I think people should really listen to themselves when deciding how many to have. Block out the noise. I had no sooner had my second when people I barely knew were telling me I’d have to go again for a boy. Drove me mad! People are in such a rush to move onto the next thing they don’t take the time to appreciate the now. I also think in friend groups it can sometimes become a bit….not competitive, but keeping up with the Jones’ maybe? I definitely see friends who are spreading themselves too thin and have taken on too much and are stressed juggling work, home, marriage, kids and taxi duties but they do love their kids. Like I said at the start everyone’s situation is different. Be sure to tune into what you want as a couple, not what you are being told you should want.

    • Monika says...

      When I was pregnant with my first, everyone was all ‘your life is over, you’ll never sleep again, etc.’ It was so dismal. But one woman came into the shop I was working at, broke out into a big smile when she saw my pregnant belly and said ‘OH! You’re going to love it! Kids are so fun!’ And it made me feel so happy. So this is what I say to other first-time pregnant moms now. Because, all the very real hardships aside, it is also incredibly joyful and FUN. You’ll be great!

  33. Melanie says...

    My daughter is 3.5 but when she was learning directions (beside, behind, etc.) she said “be-next,” as in “sit be-next to me!” My husband and I CANNOT bring ourselve to correct this. Also eyelashes used to be “eye flashes” :)

    • Mari says...

      My heart! This is so cute

  34. Abby says...

    Last summer my then-3-year-old was hot after running around in the sun, so she shouted, “My leg pits are sweaty!” To which I wonder…yeah, what are those places behind your knees called?

    • Annie says...

      My 4-year old calls them the same thing! And she also figured the spot on the other side of your elbow is your “elbow pit.”

    • Maddy says...

      From an anatomy perspective, that knee pit is called the popliteal fossa!

      I don’t have kids yet but my best friend does and is an anatomy nerd like me (we’re both in health professions) and when teacher her 2.5 year old about the names for the parts of the body, she’s been teaching her a lot of the anatomically correct words which I think is both hilarious, so so cute, and probably useful for someday!

  35. Elizabeth says...

    A few weeks ago, I my two year old daughter that sometimes Mommy needs to eat dinner to avoid being crabby.

    Last night, we came in from daycare pickup and she started whining on the floor. After a minute, she paused, looked up at me and said:

    “Is I’m crabby?”

    Yes baby.

    “Why is I’m crabby because?”

    I don’t know. What do you think we should do about it?

    “well, you should eat your dinner Mommy”

    • Molly says...

      Omg, “Why is I’m crabby because?”
      I love their sentences!

    • suki says...

      omg so self-aware to recognize herself mid-whine at TWO! I can just barely do that and I’m an adult with years of meditation experience hahaha!

  36. anothermomma says...

    yesterday, my 4.5 year old (the .5 is very important!) was doing the advent calendar and said: it’s 3 days until Christmas… that means I only have to be good for 3 more days!!

  37. I’m curious, did ‘old dad’ make the handsome man list? If not, ouch, haha

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I know right? Hahaha

  38. Sara says...

    My kids are now 8.75 and 6, but some of my favorite funny things they have said are from when they were toddlers. My daughter could only pronounce vagina as guh-gwina, and when we asked my son what sound a rhino makes he would scream, “HORNY!” My 6 year old was thrilled to get a bikini last summer and calls it a boo-kini, which we have not bothered to correct.

    • Kate says...

      My daughter calls it a puh-gina!

  39. Elle says...

    Too good!

  40. Vero says...

    These are so funny! And great way that Toby is exercising his boundaries! I hope he gets called Trax if that’s what he prefers :)

  41. barbara says...

    my 4 yr old has recently started using “and voila!” for any kind of dramatic, or not so dramatic, reveal. and i have no idea where it came from? but he uses it perfectly! it’s so funny to hear him say it!

  42. Julie says...

    We recently saw a man walking with a service dog and a white cane, and I explained to my 7 year old son that the dog helps the man navigate traffic and probably helps him at home with other things. My son thought for a moment and said “oh that’s good, the dog can drive that man around in his car”.

  43. China says...

    Thank you so much to everyone for sharing these – I am crying with laughter and it was much needed. ❤️

  44. allyson says...

    Trax <3 I laughed out loud. Love it! My 3 year old daughter now asks if the show she wants to watch "makes her smart." Not sure where that started…might've been me REFUSING to let her watch any more Booba (it's on Netflix. It's bad.) So before I left for work yesterday, she was sitting in my spot in bed, next to her sleeping Dad and said "Mama! I'm watching Bluey. It doesn't make me smart!"

    • KW says...

      Oh Booba. I’m glad you had the chutzpah to ban it. I really need it out of my life. Lol…

  45. Catherine Hernandez says...

    My 2yo is just starting to put his words and thoughts together. I’ve read these posts for years and just can’t WAIT to write all the one-liners down. I’m also pregnant with our second boy and your little family makes me so excited to be a boy mama.

    Right now, its mostly just mis-pronunciations that make me and my husband laugh. This is one things that is just bringing me so much joy and laughter lately.
    “four, five, sips…”
    “windshield diapers”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Congratulations on your baby news, Catherine! xoxoxo

    • CEW says...

      Congrats! Honest question – weren’t you already a boy mom? I consider myself one and we’re one-and-done on the child front.

  46. Lauren E. says...

    Best looking men in the world made me actually spit out my coffee. Thank you for the laugh!! Such precious boys.

  47. C says...

    My Six year old daughter said the other day; “Why do they call them “RAIN-DEER?” They should call them “SNOW-DEER!!”

    • Laura says...

      My 7 year old recently asked me, “Mom, do you think you do more for me or do I do more for you?” I asked him what he thought and he replied, “I think it’s kind of even. ” (also said to me as I was putting away his laundry)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahahahahaha

  48. Jen says...

    My 9 year old, J, starts telling me some farcical story:

    Me: J, where did you hear this story from?
    J: I saw it on You Tube.
    Me: Oh, well then it MUST be true…
    J: Well, Mama, I ALSO read it in the New Yorker.

    Then we both fell over laughing, Peppa Pig style.

  49. Carrie says...

    I gave birth to our second last month, and breastfeeding hasn’t been going well, so I’ve been doing a lot of pumping. My three year old is FASCINATED by the whole thing. The other day, she came in while I was pumping and announced, “Mommy, your boobs are doing a lot of work,” then started cheering, “BOOBS GO! BOOBS GO! BOOBS GO!” Pumping sucks, but at least I have a little cheerleader to keep me going!

    • May says...

      My three year old chants “Pump! Pump! Pump!” Over and over, pumping his arms as I pump for our youngest. I feel so…. seen😂

    • Mariana says...

      Pumping stinks! Everyone should have a cheering squad like this while they pump :)

  50. janine says...

    While we were baking gingerbread cookies the other day, my son (9) picked up a bottle of molasses and said, “I can’t believe this stuff once almost brought down the entire city of Boston.” How does he know about the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, which is a real thing?!! “I read about it in a book.”
    DYING.

    • Lily says...

      Excuse me while I google “Boston molasses flood” …

    • Mac says...

      My 9 year old daughter is very into the “I Survived” series—there’s a whole book just about the great molasses flood!
      There’s also a whole, hilarious episode of My Favorite Murder that covers it

  51. Sarah says...

    On the 19th as I was helping my 3.5 year old with the advent calendar I said “Today’s advent number is 19” and she replied “Hey, that’s the same number as the covid that’s been running around here!”

    • Emma says...

      hahaha!

  52. Susan says...

    My 3 1/2 yr old recently came up with nicknames for us. Dan band for my husband since he likes to play music with the kids, mom Tom (me) because I like to drive my Toyota we call Tommy and Char Bar (my 6 yr old Charlie) because he likes to eat ice cream bars at my parents 😊

  53. Rebekka S. says...

    I am shocked and horrified that Toby is ten! Wasn’t he just 3? And I was 28?! Time! What is happening?!

    • Alex says...

      EXACTLY!!!

    • Bianca says...

      Wasn’t he just being born 😂😅

    • Annie says...

      This!!!! I used to read CoJ in my college dorm when Toby was a baby. Feeling very “And you may tell yourself, ‘This is not my beautiful wife'” these days!

  54. Mimi says...

    My 4 and 6 year olds, chatting: “In most families the dad is bigger, but in our family the mom is bigger.”

    • Sally says...

      Big Moms club right here!!

  55. Amber says...

    My son, age 3, said that his teacher said he wasn’t listening at school this afternoon. I asked him what he was doing and he said “I was just doing all the fun things…”

    he randomly came up and rubbed the top of my head and I asked him what he was doing: “I just didn’t think you had had a good head rub in a while.” <3

  56. Norah says...

    “A reeeeally beautiful locket with diamonds and pearls and a picture of just me” made me snort laugh! Love it.

  57. Maha says...

    Hey jo,
    These comments cracked me up. I just realized that I have two sons that are 3 years apart. Just like you! They are 4 years and 1 year.
    They cute little things my 4 year old say:
    He called his little bro, “my precious grandson”
    And the other day we were having a movie night watching Home alone, he was really enjoying it and laughing on all the pranks Kevin pulled on the burglars. At the last scene when his mom showed up, he cried and cried like real ugly sobbing cry. I was shocked. And hugged and told him it’s ok, it hurts when his mom forgot him, but she’s back now. What a highly sensitive child.

    • A says...

      Maha this made me tear up! What a little sweetheart <3

  58. Tina says...

    Some gems from my three year old:
    ” I have a bad idea in my nose”
    “Look, my toes are so intelligent!”
    Looking at me indignantly a little while after not feeling well, “Where’s my cramp?!”
    She’ll also just shout things out of nowhere. It’ll be completely quiet and she’ll scream “Deep sea tube worms!” or “Parkway South!” or “Asteroid belt!”

    • Alex says...

      I want to be friends with her, she sounds like the coolest person ever!

    • Kelley says...

      My daughter likes to scream her emotions, so randomly when she’s in the other room sometimes we’ll just hear “Exited!” “Happy!” “Sad!”. It’s fun to see

  59. sarah from switzerland says...

    I used to work as a volunteer baking cakes at a daycare with kids aged 2 to 4. They were hilarious! One little boy said to me “You have SUCH beautiful hair!” And then he paused and added “Like a pony!”
    High praise indeed.

  60. Meghan says...

    My two year old niece has regular “phone” conversations, that her mom kindly videos for all of us. They’re this amazing stream of consciousness.

    “Hello, Dr. Dre? I have an owie on my toetoe. Dr. Dre fix my owie. And Elsa. Elsa has bandaid on her finger. Drink water. Keeps your body healthy. Mommy has boobies. Auntie has boobies. Daddy no boobies. I’m stretchin’. Namaste. Talk to you later!”

    • Kara says...

      This is a pretty accurate distillation of most of my phone conversations, tbh. Complaints, gossip, unsolicited advice, wellness reports.

    • Megan says...

      OMG Kara, “complaints, gossip, unsolicited advice, wellness reports” has me snort laughing.

  61. Tiia says...

    My 2-year-old loves dogs. When ever we see one, she wants to pet it. A dog and their owner passed us on their walk and my daughter asked me “Can I pet the dog?”. I replies, “Sure, if you ask permission first”. She politely walked up to the dog and asked, “May I pet you?”.

    • Lauren E. says...

      I just got a puppy and little kids’ reactions to her are the BEST. This story made my day!

    • Silvina says...

      That’s adorable!!! <3

  62. Elise says...

    3 is the best!

    When asked who he loves –
    “Grandma, Grandad, Bao the dog and Grandma’s TV”

    “I’m cycling so fast I can hear my heart-beef!”

    To our neighbour “Lady! Are you lawning your mow?”

    To other neighbour watering his garden “Man! Are you washing your tree?”

    • H says...

      My 2.5 yr old boy is also a huge fan of ‘mawn mow’, and calls our neighbor ‘hi guy!’! 😂

  63. Mara says...

    Years ago, all my aunts and uncles and cousins got a beach house for a week and on the first night, my 6-year-old cousin slipped into the hot tub, put his hands behind his head, closed his eyes and commented, “I’m having a real paradise.”

  64. Gabrielle M. says...

    Colette (age 4) to me, out of nowhere: “Guess what, mom. I have more experience than you!”

    Me: “Oh, yeah? More experience at what?”

    Colette: “Lying down, closing my eyes and imagining that I have a unicorn for a pet.”

    • Sarah says...

      bwhaha

  65. Alex says...

    My 5 year old – Mom!! I have a tiny penis inside my vagina!!
    Me – what?! Well, actually, yea I guess that’s kind of true. It’s called the clitoris.
    5 year old -aww, its sooooo cuuuute.

    • Alex says...

      Omg :D :D :D

    • Mish says...

      My three year old said something similar and my response was same as yours (thanks to “Come As You Are” I feel so much more aware). I was so proud of my kid.

  66. T says...

    “Coronavirus is a meanie,” – S, age 5, 2020

    “Nooo, stop … I’m trying to cry” – E, age 3
    (No pretense. Just straight up giving in to the theatrics. Ugh, can’t you see you’re interrupting my performance.)

    • inga says...

      At least E is trying to release emotion instead of bury or ignore it, that’s a good thing!

  67. Isabella says...

    At the tail end of a big thunderstorm earlier this year (the one that lit the whole damn state of California on fire), my 5-year-old and I were snuggling in his bed since we were both feeling a little scared, and he commented, “After the storm goes there are sometimes little thunder crumbs left behind.”

    • Courtney says...

      Thunder crumbs!

  68. KHM says...

    The other day my 5 year old asked me out of the goddamn blue if I’d rather kiss my boss or one of my patients. A surprisingly hard would-you-rather question. COVID adds a nice layer of complexity to the dilemma as well.

    • kat says...

      hahahaha

  69. Lauren says...

    We still tell the story of when my daughter was 2 and I explained to her that I was going into the bathroom alone with the door closed because I needed some privacy. She agreed but then as I closed the door she came dashing over yelling, “Mommy, wait! I want some privacy too!”

    • Allison says...

      Haha! When my son was the same age I told him I needed some personal space and he replied, “I need some personal space on your lap”.

    • Maria says...

      Oh Alison, I´m crying with laughter. Could have been either of my kids.

    • Shannon Baker says...

      Laughing soooooooooooo hard at this right now!

  70. kate says...

    I just saw on our ipad my 8 year old had googled “how do get your parents to stop talking” School Holidays are going great!

    • Isabella says...

      Weeping with laughter!

    • Sara says...

      hahahaha omg

  71. Laura says...

    A few weeks ago my 2 year old told me he wanted to drink wine in the bathtub. I was like “same, buddy, same.”

    • Dana says...

      Hahaha I do this with my 3.5 year old! When she’s laying back in the bath looking done with life, I ask her if she wants a “fancy bath” then I give her icy cold water in a small wine glass and pretend to be her butler

  72. Christen says...

    My two girls are around the same age as Toby and Anton. Last night we watched Home Alone 2 and my youngest, who is almost 7, covered her eyes at the violence of Kevin hurling bricks off a roof onto the robber’s heads. She yelled “this is inappropriate for a 7 year old! This is something only a 10 year old should watch!!”

    • Joyce says...

      LOL!

      Just watched Home Alone with my 8 year old niece and she asked why they didn’t just set their phones to wake them up. After explaining power outages & alarm clock fails and the absence of beloved iPhones l, she asked, “What about their Alexa??! And were there even remote controls???”

      The horrors of 1990 haha.

    • jane says...

      And she would be right. I watched Home Alone for the first – and only – time on a date because neither of us had ever seen it and figured it was popular for a reason. Afterwards I was just confused. Why was this movie supposed to be for kids – or enjoyable to anyone? And my date, who was a Boston lawyer in WDC and therefore reasonably intelligent, before I could say anything, went on a long rant about how wildly violent and inappropriate it was and that he would never let his kids see it. (Probably should have married him, haha).

      Anyway your daughter has her head on straight.

  73. andreaJane says...

    My kids grew up with all their cousins nearby so they spent a lot of time together. We were driving down a street that was full of dentists and specialty doctor’s offices. My nephew asked “What is a plastic surgeon?” and my son Evan said “Oh you know, if you want to change the way you look a plastic surgeon does that. Like if you want dinosaur spines down your back.” Haha! All the other cousins in the car just nodded, like it made total sense.

    • Shannon Baker says...

      Why is this so funnyyyyy? Lol

  74. Abbey says...

    Every age kids are at seems like a great age for the funny things they say. Just something to love about kids!

    When Covid came to town back in March I moved into the guest house of the family I nanny for so I could continue working for them and minimize our contact with the outside world. Surprisingly, it’s been awesome. But at one point my 7 year old friend was talking about getting some toy he earned and he said to me:
    “You’ve been staying for quite a long time. You deserve a new toy too.”

    • Christina says...

      I love that you call him your 7 year old friend. I think you deserve a new toy too!! :)

  75. Maggie says...

    My 5 year old says “next day” and “last day” for tomorrow and yesterday, and his 2.5 yr sister evolved it into “lasterday” for yesterday. I just love it.

    • Cheryl says...

      My oldest used “yestermorrow” to mean “the day that is not today.”

    • Elizabeth says...

      Awww! My first kiddo used lasterday too! And used laster night for anything that occurred in the past at night. She’s almost 6 now and I can’t remember the last time she used it.
      : ( : (

    • Isabella says...

      My wee ‘un uses “yesternight” for last night and I hope he never stops!

  76. Courtney says...

    My 2yo loves pretending to talk on the phone and his conversations always go like this: “He-yo? People? Um … bye.” He also call animals “am-a-mals.” He’s the cutest.

  77. Erin says...

    My 8-year-old son still shouts “leave room for me!” when he sees his dad and I hugging or kissing or snuggling. And he inevitable wedges himself between us, so we kiss his cheeks or hug him or snuggle him as a unit.

  78. M says...

    Recently, when watching my 4.5-year-old hoover up her lunch, I said, “You know, if you eat too fast, you’ll get a stomachache.”

    She looks up at me. “Mama,” she says seriously, “if you think too fast, you’ll get a headache.”

    • nadine says...

      Awwww! I’ve been having lots of headaches lately, slowing down my thoughts is such a wise advice.

  79. Michelle says...

    My daughter is almost four, and I love how she sees the world so matter-of-factly sometimes. Recently, I was explaining to her that my parents’ dog had passed away:
    Me: “Nan and Grandad’s dog died, which means she is gone now and she isn’t coming back. They are very sad because they will miss her a lot.”
    Daughter: [Contemplates for a moment] “Okay. But you know what? They still have me, so they’ll be fine.”

    • Sam says...

      My son was almost 2.5 years old when he met his new baby brother for the first time. He smiled at the baby and told me “good job, mommy! You got my little brother out of your stomach!”— fast forward ONE month, he looked at me and asked “can we return the baby now?”

  80. Ingrid says...

    I have notes in my phone of cute granddaughter sayings. This is maybe my favorite:
    Five year old watching her 2 1/2 year old sister get into the bathtub covered in ice cream says “Eww, Opal, you look disgusting!”
    Opal says, “I don’t look disgusting, I look de-wicious!”

    • Meagan says...

      Awww, that is the sweetest!

  81. jill says...

    my youngest son is at the phase where he doesn’t like seeing affection between his dad and i also. so when my husband kisses or hugs me, my son in the most annoyed, preteen voice possible says, ‘ughhhh, why are you so obsessed with her??’ haha!

  82. Lisa says...

    Anton is a true character;).

  83. Lydia says...

    The other day while my husband was leading a work meeting (speaking, mic on) our 2 year old behind him yells upstairs, “SWEETIE CAN I PLEASE GET ANOTHER STRING CHEESE?!”

  84. Cheryl says...

    Even the older kids are pretty funny sometimes.

    My husband to our 16yo daughter: “Do you need some help?”
    16yo: “I don’t need help.”
    Owen: “Well then, can I assist you?”
    16yo: “I can’t hear you.”
    Owen, louder: ” Can I ASSIST you?”
    16yo: “I can’t hear you over the sound of my independence.”

    • Kylee says...

      😂😂😂

    • Jessica says...

      LOL! This ones the best

    • sarah from switzerland says...

      This is so good!

  85. Marte says...

    My husband and I are talking about having a baby. It’s weird. I’ve never really been a “baby (or kid) person”…the idea of someone else feeling that they have that kind of ownership of me (the “stay six Antons apart” part of your story) is so, so foreign, and feels sort of invasive, in a way? I don’t know. I’m sure they are wonderful, still, the loss of autonomy band privacy scares me..

    • Mary says...

      Maybe, but you gain so much intimacy with a kiddo!

    • Meredith Kremer says...

      It’s true.
      If someone had told me that having kids meant always having to share my food and being willing to be fondled at all times I might not have gone for it. It’s worth it though. (mostly… get your hands off my snacks)

    • Ari says...

      For me, instilling in my son that I have autonomy has been one of the best and most rewarding aspects of parenting. Other parts of parenting I can’t really take “credit” for (you’ll see that some behaviors are just gifts you simply receive). But THIS is when I feel like I am parenting. It is never lost on me that I am raising a little boy who inherits a culture of men thinking they have the right to control other people’s bodies or actions. He demands things of me and when I want to say no, I’ll say no, and explain why. Sometimes my explanation is truly as simple as “I’m too tired.” But I try to understand what he’s really asking for on a deeper level, so he knows that I see him. Unpacking all of this has made me more thoughtful and understanding of the accommodations I make for him as a mother (why am I saying ‘yes’/‘no’? Could I say ‘no’/‘yes’?). It’s also made me thoughtful about HIS autonomy (though we’ve started dubbing some things a “safety no”, which is a HARD NO). His latest thing has been to say “No mommy, no daddy. Not talking!” over us while we are discussing something that doesn’t involve him. Sometimes, we have to say, “actually, we need to talk; it’s very important we make this decision soon. Can you do X while we talk? We’ll be done soon and then we can talk together.” And other times we realize that we are actually being super rude and talking about a TV show and he just feels excluded. So it’s fair he demands inclusion in our conversation. I totally get your concerns, but at least in my experience, I love that I can point to these moments with confidence and pride and say “I taught him this.”

    • Ellie says...

      I hear you.. I don’t have children and while I don’t regret it I have been thinking about adopting an older child lately, but that’s another story. I used to watch this disturbing dynamic happen over and over with each of my friends with children. Whenever they needed to do anything for themselves like have an engaging phone call with a friend or do Any Thing Whatsoever enjoyable for themselves, their children would sense the “separation” and throw tantrums, usually resulting in their mom abandoning herself and her needs: a job, a run, a nourishing adult connection, any me-time at all, in what was clearly a very unhealthy way. And yet it appears to be the norm. I immediately realized this is WHY moms feel such guilt when they do manage leave their children to go to work. I feel deeply that it is OK, in fact vital, for children to learn that their parents have a life outside of their child and their parents owe it to them to teach them this. There is plenty of time in the day for genuine love, affection and childcare AND taking time to do what you really do need to do for yourself. Teaching children healthy psychological boundaries is one of the most vital skills they will need as adults in both work and relationships.

    • Ellie says...

      YES, Ari, so very well said!

  86. Kiana says...

    My son is 8 and recently poked his head in my room while I was working and he was watching a movie in the next room and asked, “what’s a mistress?” I gave an answer and he left then came back a few minutes later, “what does impenetrable mean?” I answered and he left. Then after dinner that day, he asked “Do a lot of women die in childbirth?”
    Me: What the hell are you watching?!
    Him: Star wars
    Me : oh, okay

    • Abbey says...

      LOL 😂

  87. Tracy says...

    My 3 year old has always been afraid of swings but finally was brave enough to try it. After a minute he started squealing with glee, asking to go higher, and kept yelling with such joy “Mom, this is what swinging is all about!!!” I hope he meets all his future fears with such enthusiasm.

    • shade says...

      That is so sweet it made me teary :)

  88. Hope says...

    I keep an ongoing email with words from my 4 year old.
    Recent favorites:
    Why is there dust here? Should you get a car wash for your house?

    We wished him Happy Thanksgiving and he said “It’s not MY Thanksgiving. It’s ALL of our Thanksgiving.”

    Calls Joe Biden, O’Biden or Joebama.

    • Allison L. says...

      My 4 yo also calls him O’Biden!!

  89. Sarah says...

    My 7 year-old examining the bagel offerings at our neighborhood shop saw the label for “Gluten-Free Bagels” and loudly exclaimed “The gluten is free but that bagel looks disgusting!”

    • KAY says...

      This just made me laugh out loud, thank you for sharing!

  90. Noreen Haenn says...

    My kids are grown but I did keep a journal, which I highly recommend. My seven year old was trying to figure out nursing and found it fascinating. I explained the baby was getting milk from me. One day he exclaimed, “Oh, I get it! One side is white milk and the other is chocolate.”

  91. Andrea says...

    So which would you rather have? Toby and Anton locket or diamonds-pearls-Anton locket? 🤣

  92. Em says...

    Oh my gosh YESSSS Joanna hahah these are so real!!!! And funny (aka it’s not just your perception bc you’re their mom)!!! I teach middle schoolers and that Anton “bro/soft skin” comment is spot on. They’ll be all tough one moment and so innocent then next. Loved this.

  93. Meg says...

    We had a light dusting of snow last week (first snow for us). My 5yo was SO excited to play outside. As we were heading outside the snow turned to rain. It was raining, freezing, and gloomy, and I was dreading going out to play. As we walked outside my kiddo bounded down the stairs in the rain and exclaimed, “rain AND snow, what a treat!!” Hard to stay grumpy. :)

    • Abbey says...

      HA! I love that perspective.

    • Rae says...

      This is the attitude I strive for — so hard as an adult!

  94. Emily says...

    When my daughter was 3, she stomped her foot and demanded: “I want milk RIGHT NOW!”, to which my Mom replied: “Well if you want milk, you need to think of a better way to ask for it.”

    My daughter’s response: “Fine. I want CHOCOLATE milk right now.”

  95. Lindsay says...

    I love keeping a list of witty stuff my 4-year old says and can’t resist sharing some!

    After sprinkling “monster dust” around her room like I do every night, she says “maybe baby monsters ask mommy monsters to sprinkle kid dust around!”

    We started watching Mister Rogers and after the episode where they go to the crayon factory and he draws a picture she said:
    “Mister Rogers makes me do things that I never thought I could do!” and ran off to draw with her crayons, which she has ignored for years. My heart exploded!

    “I forgot what I was going to say. Oh no, it’s lost forever!” (story of my life)

    After telling her to work on her table manners because eventually we’ll eat around people again: “My table manners are stored away in my heart.”

    Asking her what she thinks her dad’s job is:
    “A professor is when you get on the stage and dance a little”

    “If ‘girled’ (grilled) cheese is for girls, do boys eat boy cheese?”

    • Laura says...

      Haha! MY KIDS (now grown, one of each gender) used to ask for boy cheese and girl cheese sandwiches! And my son, when he was a toddler and still parsing the mystery of plurals, would ask for ‘a chee’ (one piece of cheese).

  96. Brandi says...

    My six year old and I were on a walk today and decided to pop into a coffee shop to fuel us on the way home. As I’m ordering he’s looking all around at the walls of this very cool, very Denver sort of place. Then he turns to the barista and says, “Man, I’m so inspirated by all the art in here!” 😍

  97. Lacey says...

    I’ve never really envisioned a future with children of my own, but these posts do sure make me stop and think.. what if my kids would grow to be as sweet and silly as Toby and Anton!?

    • Anna says...

      Wasn’t sure if I wanted to be a mom either, but four kids and ten years in, I have no regrets. Far from easy, but it just keeps getting better and they enrich my life in ways that I never could have imagined.

  98. Was Dad touched that he made number 3 on Toby’s list?? LOL.

    My daughter is 6 weeks old so not that chatty, but I LIVE for her little smiles and coos! She has saved 2020 for me.

  99. Sophie says...

    This made me laugh out loud uncontrollably. Thank you!

  100. kensey says...

    is it pronounced an-tin, an-tahn, an-tone? I’ve always been curious :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      good question! It’s AN-tahn. xoxo

  101. LL says...

    When my second child was three, he once exclaimed, “Let’s play hippos and grabbing balls! Let’s play hippos and grabbing balls!”

  102. MBT says...

    Does everyone have the little book called “My Quotable Kid?” If not, I highly recommend it. It’s a structured place to write all of these funny things down, and I’m so grateful I’ve done that because I forget all of the awesome things my boys say! They are now 9 and 11, and I’m on my second volume. I’m looking at volume one right now and had completely forgotten this one: Older son: You’re sweet!
    Younger son: I’m not sweet! I’m scary! I’m afraid of the dark!

  103. AB says...

    Love these! A few from my newly 4 yo preschool daughter about her new brother:

    ‘Hey, mom if those pants are too tight won’t they squeeze all his juice out?’

    After catching a glimpse of a very large, bright colored baby BM as I changed the diaper ‘it is orange! That is my favorite color!’

    After I was consulting with my husband about whether he thought the baby needed another dose of mylanta for reflux ‘But Mom, why does he need your lanta?’

    After poking her brother in the face and me asking her to be careful ‘I’ll do what I can…’

    After I asked her to wet a wash cloth for me ‘I’ll fill it with sweet, sweet waters’

    After trying ketchup ‘oh my god, I love this so much’

    referred frustratedly to an avocado when I didn’t know what she was talking about as ‘the ball with food inside!’

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      “I’ll do what I can…” hahaha

    • Amrita says...

      These are so cute!! I hope you will save them for later.

  104. Brenda says...

    I love this post and all the comments!

  105. Ari says...

    I gave my 2yo son a butterfly sticker and he said “mommy, butterflies need flowers to kiss! And bees need flowers to kiss!” And then made kissy noises. Pollinator Boy breaking my heart…

  106. Loren says...

    I’m an occupational therapist and my kids are such a source of hilarious material. Since the pandemic my Facebook feed has suffered!

    Me: {pretending we are astronauts in outer space} “Do you see any bad guys on Mars? Five year old boy: “No, but I see some bad guys roller skating on Uranus.”
    Six year old boy: Miss Loren, what do you do for a living?” Me: “I play with you!” SYOB: {rolling his eyes} “I KNOW you play with me, duh. But what do you do to earn money?”
    Me, to seven year old boy: “Did you do your handwriting homework this week?” SYOB: “Yes, but it interfered with my quest for world domination.”

    • Abbey says...

      Hahaha :)

      I work as a nanny and it’s so charming how oblivious even pretty astute kids can be about how we make money. I look after a family of a 7 year old and a 1 year old and recently the parents had some big fun Saturday plan for the 7y.o. that the baby wouldn’t be up for so they asked me to watch her. The 7 y.o. said:
      “If you watch Charlotte while we are gone we will give you so much candy. No, WAIT! We will even give you MONEY!!!”

  107. These are all so great!

    My 4-yr-old: “Mama, did you know? If your grown-up teeth fall out, that’s it for you!”

  108. Megan Lec says...

    I always love these updates, little glimpses into their worlds. Here are a couple from my 3.5 year old.
    Me: (hears a racket) “Leo what are you doing?”
    Leo: (laughs) “Making a huge mess!”

    Leo: “Mommy! I need my axe!”
    Me:?!?

  109. Lauren says...

    My five year old loves to play the board game sequence. The other day he won a round, and said “Whew! That was easy. Easy like a hand-tied piece of cake.” Lol what??

  110. Emily says...

    Out of the blue, my 3.5 year old asked me, “Do beavers eat cats?” I’m haunted by the mental image.

    • liz says...

      haha omg O_O

  111. Sophia F. says...

    My daughters are seven and five, and have been bouncing off the walls being stuck indoors (COVID, and it’s the rainy season in Seattle). We bought them an exercise trampoline, and my elder kiddo wanted me to film her creating a ‘jumpercise video,’ which was hilarious on its own… but THEN, her little sister wanted to make a video, and in a desperate attempt to come up with a cool sign off, produced a stream of verbal excellence including “happytoad, OH YEAH!” “S.U.L. mackey-ronaaay” and culminating in “bro! yo-YO!” Afterwards she had no idea why she’d said any of these (“mom, does S-U-L spell anything?”) but I have watched this sublimely awkward, hilarious, and charming video at least thirty times.

  112. Jackie says...

    Young dad! 😂

  113. Cass says...

    I love the kid quotes.

    My 4-year-old nephew to his 8-year-old brother after a skirmish in the car about a toy: “Dude, I’m gonna need you to say please.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahaha

  114. Jackie says...

    Love this opportunity to get to know Anton and Toby a bit more – such sweet, hilarious souls!

    My 2.5 year old daughter comes out with so many one liners lately… I have to keep my notebook nearby to jot them all down!

    S: I want to look beautiful!
    Me: You are beautiful!
    S: I am? But Mom, I’m not a decoration!!!

    S: Why do I have to sleep?
    Me: Because it’s nap time.
    S: But I don’t have the yawns! It’s not fair!

    Bedtime questions…
    1)Why are Elmo’s legs so long?
    2)Why are my feet still on?? Ughhhhhh
    3)What do baby zebras eat?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I looooove bedtime questions. those are so, so cute.

    • Sarah says...

      Bedtime question the other night from my toddler- “Why are your nipples so big?” (for context… there was no context. She hasn’t breastfed in 2.5 years). I told her we’d talk about it in the morning lol.

  115. AR says...

    My almost 2 year old hugged me the other day and said to himself as he wandered off ‘I’m so sweet’. He IS so sweet :-)

  116. Jordan says...

    My 4 year old mixes up masterpiece and catastrophe – after she finished a painting the other day she said “mom look at my catastropiece!”

  117. Ginny says...

    After our neighbors dropped off treats on our doorstep, my 9 yo shouted to them, “Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Biden Presidency!”

    • Megan Lec says...

      Happy Biden Presidency 😂

    • b says...

      She wins! :)

    • Heather says...

      Ahh adorable!

  118. Lana says...

    My 6 year old daughter has been really interested in birth order lately. She is blown away that she’s the middle child and I’m the middle child.
    “Mom, you know, I was thinking. You are in the middle of your sisters and I’m in the middle of Grace and Leo. That means that we’re basically related.”

    • b says...

      Hahaha! Basically… I love it.

  119. Emily says...

    At first glance I read “what’s popping?” as “what’s pooping?” … clearly it’s been a long year!

    • Katherine says...

      “Google is working to get a googlion of spider pages.”
      “Spider pages?!”
      “Oh, I mean web pages!” – My 5 year old

      Both smart & hilarious already 😂

  120. Janey says...

    Toby and Anton are gorgeous! My adorable 3 year old niece was singing Away In A Manger to me on zoom this afternoon ” Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little bald jesus, lay down his sweet head”
    Made my day!

    • Amy says...

      I mean, odds are good haha!

  121. Kaitlin says...

    There’s definitely an innate wisdom in children, right? We were putting ornaments on our tree a few weeks ago and I asked my 2.5 year old which Winnie the Pooh characters were on the one that she was holding. “Tigger and Ham,” she replied earnestly. Not wrong, kid.

  122. Abbie says...

    My 6 year old (who is the middle child) to my sister (also a middle child):
    “I’m mom. I’m the oldest and I like quiet things. Blah blah blah.”

    Doesn’t translate well without the hideous voice he used as “me” but we are still laughing about it days latwr.

    • Krista says...

      This is everything. My middle is only 4, but this is 100% him and hysterical. Xoxo.

  123. celeste says...

    On an afternoon off, we went to a new bakery and my 10 year old said, “If there’s ever an apocalypse I hope I’m in here,” meaning he’d have plenty to eat if he was stuck. More sobering than funny!

    • Allison says...

      My smallest makes up the most amazing similies. As a 4 year old, he once said “as tiny as a mouse’s stomach” and “as squeezed as a sausage” and “as toasty as a marshmallow “.
      I kept notes because they were so amazing.

  124. Emily says...

    One day, in the constant struggle of getting my 4 year old to wear his coat, I said, “you should put your coat on Finn. I’m cold just looking at you!”

    His reply,” then, mama, don’t look at me.”

    Touche.

  125. Jenny T. says...

    Conversations with my five year old, Lucy:

    Me: Lu, what are you doing? (As she noisily rattled the over-the-door towel rack)
    Lucy: I’m shaking the rack and making a racket!

    Lucy: Someone died today in the kitchen at school.
    (I later found out they dyed cloth in the kitchen)

    Lucy: Mom, I’m the dog and I have no thumbs, so you must do all my bidding.

    Me (jokingly): Lucy, when are you going to learn to make me coffee?
    Lucy: My guess is never.

    Me: Our fish doesn’t look like he’s doing very well.
    Lucy: Well, I guess his career is over.

    • Genevieve Martin says...

      “I guess his career is over” hahahah

  126. Natalie T. says...

    This is my favourite feature of your blog. Thank you for indulging us! It makes me laugh everytime and it’s so comforting to see how your boys are coming into their own, weird, wonderful selves! Six Antons Apart…I can’t! LOL

  127. Kate V. says...

    I am absolutely cackling at these. Reminds me of my now ten-year-old, who several years ago asked me… “mom, do you think I’m handsome? Yes or no?”

  128. Amber Sparks says...

    “When you and dad got married, did he get all up in your personal space?”
    Lincoln, age 5, after a conversation about boundaries.

    “I’m really sorry it’s just my butt just keeps making all these farts”
    also Lincoln.

  129. Tiffany says...

    Ever since my nephew Henry was born, his older, 3-year old brother James, has become really insistent that we can’t call him “small” anymore because he now associates it with being a baby. When James can’t do something, he tells my sister/his mom, “Mama, I can’t! I’m just too… too… medium!” 😂

    Once, when my sister called James cute, he said, “I’m not cute, Henry is cute. I’m strong and kind and brave!” 🥰

  130. Calla says...

    oh my god the locket thing made me laugh so hard. So sly, exactly the kind of thing my sisters and I would have said

  131. Chelsie says...

    My 5 year old right in my face the other morning before I’d even opened my eyes: “So mom, Christmas isn’t about gifts, that’s for birthdays. Christmas is about presents, because that’s Santa Claus.”

  132. Katie says...

    These are so, so sweet.
    I highly recommend keeping a quote book on hand. We have one, and any time the kids say something extra adorable, we (…well, I) jot it down in the quote book. It’s so sweet and fun to flip through from time to time.

  133. Heidi Hooten says...

    Awww, I love Toby and Anton comments!
    Before my youngest daughter’s Xmas concert when she was in kindergarten, we knew she had a little boyfriend, and asked what he looked like. She said, “He’s blonde, and a hunka hunka man!”
    No idea where she got that, and we still tease her about it. She’s 22!

    • Lane says...

      I was talking my Nana’s ear off in pre-K about my first ‘boyfriend’, and after asking all the right questions like, do you like him because of kindness, humor, etc.?, I very seriously told her. ‘Nana, he has the coolest clothes I’ve ever seen! S-T-O-V-E’ (me, trying to spell ‘style’). 32 now and I have never lived it down….I am now marrying a kind, funny AND stylish person next month. Glad I caught up to the other two :)

  134. Nancy says...

    My two children were fighting over a toy and, in an attempt to foster problem solving, I asked them, “how can you solve this so that both of you are happy?” My 8 year old thoughtfully replied, “we take turns and we each get it for 5 minutes.” To which my 5 year old said, “I get it forever. And I get it first.” That also pretty much sums up their world views too.

  135. Claire Thomas says...

    I was talking to my five-year-old recently about her 12-year-old cousin, and she asked what he was like when he was her age. I said, “He was a lot like you: bossy but cute.” She responded, “Hey! I’m not cute!”

    • Abbey says...

      😂😂😂 Brilliant.

  136. Molly says...

    My almost three year old little girl has recently started telling me several times a day “Stop patronizing me!” 😆

  137. Mouse says...

    These ongoing posts are my favorite thing about this blog. And yes, Toby, Brad Pitt IS #1.

  138. Sonja says...

    Adorable. Absolutely adorable. To each his own but I question the logic of Brad Pitt over Steph Curry….

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha

  139. Marie says...

    My sweet, naive 12 year old, who has at least three girls he thinks he has crushes on in the 6th grade (he just really likes hanging out with girls), asked his 12 year old girl cousin this weekend, “So, do you have a love life?”

    • angel says...

      um yea, time for ‘that’ conversation asap ; D

    • Savannah says...

      I picture them at the diner with Seinfeld having that conversation and I LOVE it!

    • Grace says...

      Dying! So thoughtful to ask DO you have a love life, as opposed to how’s your love life?

  140. Sarah says...

    My husband and I were talking about a trip we took when I was pregnant with our now 2.5 year old daughter. We told her she was in my belly and then finished the details of the story. A minute goes by and she goes, “Mama, why you swallow me?” hahah!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha so cute

    • Abbey says...

      😂 excellent question

  141. Joanna says...

    Me to my five year old: Wow, that math you did was basically algebra.
    My five year old: Who is Al Gebra?

    • Elizabeth says...

      Lol!

  142. Mary says...

    My 3-year-old son recently asked me “if his penis could talk?!” And without missing a beat, his dad replied, “No, but it does have a mind of its own. “

    • Deb says...

      :-D

    • Ari says...

      Hahahahah this is great!

  143. Julie says...

    They are hilarious!!!! You are blessed, Joanna!

  144. Jess says...

    The locket question made me laugh out loud!

    • Angela says...

      Me too! And I got busted while sneaking a peek, as my query was running. My husband saw me laughing and asked me what was so funny. He’s busy building gingerbread houses with the kids and I’m busy working ;)

  145. Kari T. says...

    Toby and Anton are hilarious!! My 5 year old daughter has a few, here are 3 of my favorites:

    “This ball smells good. It smells like a rainbows butt!”

    Looking up at the clouds, ” Mom, when am I going to get a jet-pack, for Christmas?”

    “Mom, how much money did you make today? Like, how much did you bring home, 2 coins?”

    • Megan says...

      LOL!!! Thank you for these, Kari!

  146. AJ says...

    Laughing so hard at this: “Anton tackled Toby, then paused and said: “Bro, how do you get that soft skin? For real?”

    I keep a running list of my kids’ quotes in the notes app on my phone. Most recent quote from my 9 year old to his 12 year old brother: “stop acting like an adult. It’s not fair.” haha

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      awwww :) :) :)