Design

Have a Sweet Weekend.

Sleeping dog

What are you up to this weekend? We are going to visit my grandmother, and can’t wait to see her. I’m hoping to ask her lots of questions about her life, including how she fell in love with my grandfather. Also, an important request: Children shouldn’t be dying at the border, and families belong together. Please join us in donating to Together Rising and the ACLU, if you are able to. The situation is inhumane — children are forcibly separated from their parents and, while they have relatives in the U.S. who want to take care of them, held in buildings and made to sleep on concrete floors with no access to toothpaste, toothbrushes or soap. We’ll be sharing more ways to help these children and families on Instagram, as well. Thank you so much. Here are a few links from around the web, and sending a big hug to anyone who needs one…

The 50 best memoirs of the past 50 years. I loved Persepolis, and I’d add Blackout and The Bright Hour.

Mindy Kaling dancing on her birthday.

Who’s up for deep dish pie? Alternately, a galette.

This studio apartment looks like a cartoon, in a good way.

Sustainable shoe brand Nisolo is offering 20% off select styles with code SUMMERJO20 (including these cuties!).

Three no-recipe recipes.

A three-month-old’s guide to sleep training your parents.

The women in Western art history series will make me laugh forever. (“No that’s bears,” hahaha)

A movie critic’s recommendations for July’s Netflix movies.

A love story, in two ways.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says KK on how to find that great vacation restaurant: “When my husband and I are out for a night in a new city, we walk around and pick the first pub based on the vibe/scene we see inside from the street. From there, we have a drink at the bar, then ask the bartender where we should go next. Then off we go. It’s so much fun! And, it’s so nice to say, [bartender from previous bar] told us to come here. They smile, sometimes looked surprised, but they love it – a recommendation to your bar from a local bartender. Then, they are very thoughtful about where they send us next for a drink or food.”

Says Stephanie on 14 great size-inclusive brands: “I would encourage everyone, plus-size or not, to follow size-inclusive brands on Instagram. It is SO HEALING to see people of all sizes looking amazing and fashionable. It corrects this messed up idea we’ve internalized that beauty = skinny, and that clothes only look good on one type of body. I stole the idea from Lindy West, who wrote in Shrill about looking through images of fat bodies on Tumblr to stop herself from having a knee-jerk negative reaction (pardon my haphazard paraphrase!), and it worked! Exposure matters! I feel like that was the most practical, tangible advice for body acceptance that I ever read.”

Have a good one. xoxo

  1. Lindsay says...

    I also want to donate to support our national parks in light of Trump diverting funding for his parade, but can you help me determine the best way to do this that he can’t touch?

  2. Alyssa says...

    I was bummed to see your brother-in-law’s memoir didn’t make this list. It was truly one of the best books I’ve ever read.

  3. celeste says...

    I don’t know why but I came back to these links a week later and I just want to do something for the immigrants. I want to snuggle those kids and give them toothpaste and water the Republicans are denying them. I am having a delayed response of anxiety. Count me as a monthly ACLU donor. Late but better than never.

  4. Nina says...

    so…whose picture? did you get a dog???? I scrolled up and down looking for the photo credit and couldn’t find it. so curious

  5. So many great links, suggestions, and recommendations as usual, Joanna! xo

  6. Lucie says...

    One of the best memoirs I have ever read was Kafka by Rainer Stach. It is like a textbook how all the memoirs should be written. Precise and wonderful language, really recommend it.

  7. That Gilead quote!
    I re-read the first half of that book regularly, just to remember how beautiful the little things of life are. Her writing in it makes me feel so alive.

  8. Kirstin says...

    Add Patti Smith’s Just Kids to the memoir list…

  9. Anna says...

    Joanna, this is a little random, but I really think you should write a book. At least someday!

    I love your writing so much, and even though we’ve never met, you feel like a friend. I’m probably one of your younger readers (19) but I appreciate everything you post, even the posts on motherhood which I cannot yet relate to! I actually feel a little thrill every time I refresh your blog during the week, knowing that there will be new posts. It’s my dream to meet you or work with you someday.

    Hope you had a good weekend. xoxoxo

  10. Catherine says...

    Hopefully the Democratic congress will address the border crisis and stop referring to it as a “manufactured crisis.” What a shame they ignored it for so long.

  11. nadia says...

    Thank you a lot for sharing. I’m italian and I’ve just donated to Sea watch, the italian government passed a law to close ports and ban ngo vessels that are helping rescues in sea. The captain Carola Rackete of one of the Sea Watch ships has been arrested yesterday for doing what my government should be doing.
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jun/29/sea-watch-captain-carola-rackete-arrested-italian-blockade?fbclid=IwAR1WlvUZEYDJlT4vNk9LKZWlRckfUS9hU3d8uMY6ALUb9gIq7HlwEqjR3rg

  12. Thank you for keeping the border crisis at the forefront of our minds, Joanna. I am really struggling right now with the conflict I feel between making the most of my one wild and precious life (as Mary Oliver said) while my children are young and keeping myself focused on the constant struggles of others.

    I’m wishing you a wonderful weekend with your grandmother. I recently asked my grandparents a lot of questions about the trajectory of their lives. Where did they first live after they got married? Where did they go next? Why? Which places was their favorite? It was so fun!

  13. Jessica says...

    The art history and sleep training articles just made my weekend. Ugly cry laughing happened. Btw, is that a picture of Bruno?! Nicely done, if so.

  14. Kristin says...

    I miss The Toast so much!

  15. Ruth says...

    I didn’t have much time this week to visit cupofjo.
    Coming here today ,it feels like a big gift to ‘unwrap’ all the new posts. I have learned a lot here, from the articles but especially from the comments,thank you so much!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      This makes me so happy! Thank you for saying so!

  16. Ashley says...

    Alright, if that ‘movie critic’ thought the new Sandler movie was anywhere near ‘good’ I don’t trust a damn thing they have to say. Come. On. The jokes weren’t even funny never mind the trite storyline and characters who were still somehow unlikeable, even with Sandler and Aniston playing them. Total garbage! Is there no honor anymore in reviews/critiques?

    • Andrea says...

      Look at the AV Club on the Onion site. One of the few places for non-pandering reviews.

    • Sara says...

      I tried it too. Made in 8 minutes & turned it off! It was awful!
      Thankfully, there’s no shortage of great things to watch right now!!

  17. Mary Wallace says...

    You’re probably already at your grandmother’s right now, but it reminded me of an assignment I had for a nutrition class once. We were asked to talk to our elders about what they ate when they grew up. I asked my parents and they revealed some interesting insights into the everyday lives of American kids in the ’30s and ’40s. They really opened up. People like talking about food!

  18. Nori says...

    Thank you for sharing, Joanna! Just donated to ACLU and Immigrant Families Together. x

  19. ES says...

    Thank you for the link to the list of memoirs. Was so pleased to see Jeanette Winterson’s ‘Why be happy when you can be normal?’ listed. Reading her debut novel (what might be trendily called autofiction these days) ‘Oranges are not the only fruit’ as a teenager helped me see that there was life and light and humour and love in the world after the situation I found myself in and gave me the courage to demand all that for myself eventually. To read her own voice reflecting on her life through the genre of memoir in ‘Why be happy…’ some years later was perhaps even more touching for me. Can thoroughly recommend.

  20. Marcella says...

    thank you for talking about the crisis on the border. Where I live in San Antonio it’s so close to home – and it’s so frustrating to feel helpless. thinking and praying of them always.

    • C says...

      Don’t give in to feeling helpless! I am also in SA and there is soooo much work to do right here. Look at the City of San Antonio’s Migrant Resource Center:
      https://www.sanantonio.gov/humanservices/ImmigrationServices/MRC
      or the Interfaith Coalition and Catholic Charities for volunteer opportunities. Every day people are being dropped off downtown or at the airport from the detention centers closer to the border. Our city is a way station and people need help navigating the bus system, the airport, and figuring out their next steps while trying to meet their basic needs. If you speak Spanish or French you would be of great assistance, but even if you don’t there is plenty to do to be of direct help!

  21. Natasha says...

    Just donated. Thanks for your efforts.

  22. Molly says...

    I laughed so hard at the 3 month olds guide to sleep training parents. And then I shared it with all the new moms I know. It makes me feel so much better about waking up in the night with my baby.

  23. SB says...

    My mother (who has now passed) always placed such a high value on family connections, family history, and love. She had a very close relationship with her paternal grandmother (who had such a unique life! an orphan a Scottish war bride to a Newfoundlander, raised a family in rural Newfoundland, etc). My mother and her grandma used to correspond via hand written letters, back in the day, and my mother came up with “The 20 Questions” – mostly asking about my grandmother’s childhood, her experience coming to Newfoundland, and subsequently raising a large family in a foreign country in the the most remote areas. My great-grandmother hand-wrote her responses to my mother’s questions; she died shortly after completing her answers. These questions/answers have become some of our family’s most cherished items – so much of what was in those letters, no one ever knew and now we have this record to share with everyone. As the only daughter in my family, my family left these letters in my care.

    I think everyone should think about sending “20 Questions” to their loved ones and holding onto these responses for posterity. My extremely vibrant, healthy mother died in an unexpected accident at the age of 62. I thought I had so many more years to capture these insights and histories…

    Ask the questions now and hold onto these responses with your whole heart! Joanna – cherish your special time with your grandmother. Big hugs.

    • Francesca says...

      This is an amazing story, SB! I wish I had done something similar with either of my own grandmothers before they passed away.

    • Jo says...

      I love the idea of writing 20 questions. My family is awesome at lots of things, but we do struggle with meaningful and open discussion. I would love to hear ideas about what to ask.

    • cilla says...

      SB, it is amazing to have these answers of your great grandmother. What were the questions?

    • Katie says...

      I just saw an ad for StoryWorth, apparently they email your loved one a question a week and then at the end of the year put all the answers in a bound book.

  24. Sady says...

    Thank you for using your platform to amplify the news about human rights abuses on the border and for encouraging people to help keep families together. I am disappointed that other online pubs/blogs I read haven’t done so (and I’m not reading them anymore for that reason). We can’t be silent.

  25. steph says...

    You always credit photos, but not this dog one. SOOooooo, it it yours? Did you finally get a dog?? (SAY YES!)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i wish!!!!! :) :) :) i actually couldn’t find the original credit and am trying to reverse google image it. if anyone knows, please share!

  26. I highly recommend Nicole Chung’s memoir All You Can Ever Know about her experience as a Korean adopted into a white family. One of the best I’ve read in years!

  27. Katie says...

    Longtime reader, thank you for your post. I do want to say as a grassroots lawyer that there are a ton of small organizations at the border doing frontlines work—namely not the ACLU. I would encourage you to expand your list of orgs to donate to beyond that one—which gets millions poured into it a day through gut reactions from people who don’t look further into orgs and do research. Check out RAICES, the Florence project, and so many other smaller orgs that don’t have the PR machine behind them that the aclu does.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes, we have featured RAICES many times and recently a couple readers who work in this space asked us to feature other organizations. i’d love to hear a list of more that you recommend! we’ve featured together rising, the aclu, planned parenthood, raices, the florence project, young center for immigrant and children’s rights, actblue, etc. would love to hear about more, including small grassroots efforts. i also think the aclu is really important because it works to change the law so that this doesn’t happen in the future — i always think it’s like stopping the kid from falling, versus putting on the band-aid after the fall. but so curious and eager to learn more! thank you so much xoxo

    • Anon says...

      I’ve been thinking about this comment and Joanna’s reply over the weekend. I’ve seen it raised in various ways in social media — and understandably so — we are horrified by what is happening and so strongly want to donate where the need is greatest. The question is often framed as: Do we support the small struggling nonprofits doing work on the front lines? Or, do we funnel money into large advocacy organizations (like the ACLU) so that federal lawsuits swifty block abhorrent policies?

      The work of the ACLU is hugely important. But the context that I often find missing in these questions is that supporting smaller orgs STILL supports larger advocacy organizations like the ACLU. The fact that everyone is working together often seems to get lost, and it is one of the more heartening facts in what can feel like a hopeless situation. Large advocacy organizations like the ACLU often find the named plaintiffs for high-profile cases by reaching out to attorneys working at smaller organizations on the border/in detention facilities/along the frontlines, wherever that may be. It’s attorneys at smaller organizations who are seeing how the application of the law is shifting and the negative ramifications for their clients (in court, in detention centers, through the travel ban, through the remain in Mexico policy, etc). It’s important that attorneys at smaller organizations be supported to provide excellent advocacy from the get-go. First, because high-level advocacy is the best scenario for the client and second because it best sets up the case for large scale litigation, if applicable. And of course, t’s also critical that ACLU and other larger groups (although with the assistance of private law firms!!!!) continue to bring the best legal advocacy to the federal courts. Both are necessary, important, and when things work well, they reinforce each other beautifully.

      Of course, everyone has heard of the ACLU and many people have not heard of other organizations. So, in that spirit, I would add to your list:

      – Immigration Justice Campaign
      – Dilley Pro Bono Project (a part of the Immigration Justice Campaign)
      – Al Otro Lado
      – Innovation Law Lab
      – Las Americas Immigration Advocacy Center
      – Aldea
      – ProBAR
      – Human Rights First
      – Any organization supporting the appropriate implementation of the Flores Settlement, which governs the standards for detention of children

      I also would encourage everyone to look into the local immigration nonprofits in your hometowns. So often the goal of the work at the border is to reunite immigrants with their family members in other parts of the United States so that they have a chance to fairly access the Immigration courts. If a lot of hard work is done to allow a family to stay in the United States to bring their asylum case before an Immigration Judge, then it is so important for them to be able to find good, low-or-no-cost legal services in [literally name any US city].

      I know this is a heavy topic, and many people come to CofJ for an escape, but I appreciate the attention the team has paid to important issues in America right now, and wanted to add my two cents, if helpful. It’s almost the 4th of July and as terrified I am about the future of our country, it is humbling to see how many people are working together to protect the fundamental rights enshrined in our Constitution. Thank you.

    • Sasha L says...

      Amazingly helpful comment Anon!!! Thank you so much for shining a bright light and giving so much helpful information.

  28. Dianna says...

    Joanna, you should record your grandma telling her stories… use your phone. You won’t regret it.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      what a great idea, dianna! thank you so much. such a great idea. i absolutely will.

  29. jamie says...

    I joined the ACLU the day after Trump was elected. My husband asked me if we could really afford to give every month on our fixed income. I told him I’d eat canned beans every night if we had to….it’s that important.

    • Katie says...

      I started making monthly donations to Planned Parenthood right after he was elected. It felt like it needed to be done.

  30. nora says...

    hi! thanks for mentioning the crisis at the border and recommending ways to support. i’m surprised you didn’t mention world pride or that it’s pride weekend in nyc. would be great to see your support for our LGBTQ+ community. thanks for considering!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes! we kicked off pride month with this wonderful photo: https://cupofjo.com/2019/06/great-weekend-june/ and have been sharing on instagram, as well. we’ll be out of town this weekend, but hope it’s a wonderful pride parade in NYC this weekend!

  31. Jenna says...

    Yes to Stephanie! That is one of the lessons I took away from Lindy West too, and it really works for body positivism. I realized that I found those women so powerful and beautiful that it stopped giving power to what i perceived as my flaws. I actually don’t have a hard time getting dressed anymore!

  32. Cynthia says...

    Enjoy your visit with your grandma. I think it’s so amazing when adults still have their grandparents. The napping dog photo is so cute.

  33. Anna says...

    Rose & Crown gave me my first exposure to Gilead via the same post you linked here. I have never gotten over it (I hope I never do).

    Just last month I wrapped up a trimester teaching high school Spanish. It was a whirlwind and I was temporary and I made grammar mistakes and laughed when I ought to have been stern and was stern when I ought to have laughed (a teacher makes a hundred micro-decisions every hour!). But I loved those students so much.

    In the end, I quoted this passage on the end-of-course evaluation I asked my students to complete. I called it a parting thought, but really it was a consolation to myself: that in the end, studying Spanish together had been a pleasure in its own right; that being together had been “primarily for blessing, and only secondarily” about getting the conjugations right.

    • Melinda says...

      Great links today! I spent nearly 40 minutes poring over the NYT memoirs list. Thanks for sharing ☺️

    • Savannah says...

      I work in oncology and Gilead’s gentle reflections on this world and life as it is ending always resonate with me! Marilyn Robinson is a force.

  34. Loesie says...

    Have a safe and wonderful trip to your Grandma!
    Will your entire family be with you?
    Hope your sister and brother are doing well!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      alex and the boys are coming with me — and my dad and cousins will be there. my brother and sister are doing really well, thank you so much for asking! they’ll be missed on this trip! xoxo