The Real Proposal Story That Makes Me Cry

Back in the early 80s, my mother proposed to my father. He was in the military and was told that he would soon be stationed in Germany for at least two years. Even though they were living together, she could not move with him unless they were married. So she went down on one knee and proposed to him. Her only regret: even though they have been married for over 35 years, he never gave her a ring!

I’m going to share my VERY HONEST engagement story for the benefit of other readers who maybe didn’t have the perfect story either! Background: my bf and I have been together since we were 19, some eleven years ago! We really grew into adults together: graduated college, got our first real jobs, tried out different careers, different cities, different countries, and grew into our present-day selves together.

By the time we got engaged, I’d moved past eleven years of unwavering love to a few creeping doubts, crushing on a colleague, working out who I was as a person and not just half of a couple, etc. It happens to all long-term partnerships, I’m sure, but the timing of this and my getting engaged were a little tricky! My BF proposed right in the middle of my period of doubt. I saw the proposal coming (I found the ring box by mistake!) and the moment genuinely felt bittersweet. He proposed, I said yes, of course, cried with tears of so much happiness but also a little bit of the sadness of closing-off-of-possibilities.

Those doubts remained real, and didn’t immediately evaporate! Five months later, we found ourselves working through some seriously tough conversations. We started to discuss niggling issues we’d never really discussed as a couple before, which getting engaged had helped bring to the surface (does he travel too much? are we intimate enough? is he too strong a personality in our dynamic? do we communicate enough? am I too detached? It was pretty tough stuff!). I moved out of home, briefly, to give us some space to think things over, and we had some very soul-searching conversations about our future. It was the first, and still the only, really big dark spot we’d hit as a couple, and it felt pretty raw.

But we came back, and we worked through it. Genuinely the process of confronting this big, scary tangle of concerns together brought us so much closer. The thing I admire most about my BF is his optimism and his problem-solving, and he used every ounce of that to help get us through. And i know that next time we hit a rough patch – which of course we will – we are armed with much better tools and conversations to help us navigate a way through.

Long story short – we’re finally getting married! It’s been a more messy process than the movie-style engagements I’ve grown up on, but it’s adult and real and it will put us in good stead for growing old together. Hope that offers a relatable perspective for someone else out there too :)

My husband proposed with a selection of candy rings in our kitchen one random night as I was cooking dinner (I chose the big cherry ring pop). He gave me the real ring later (his grandmother’s). We aren’t big diamond people. My favorite part was that he giggles when he gets really nervous so I had to keep asking wait, seriously? I was like, ok, I’m going to call my mother now, don’t make me lie to my mother, stop laughing! I wish the whole mess was on video =) This video made me tear up too!

My fiancé and I knew we wanted to get married for a long time. I thought he would surprise me out of nowhere and propose. Instead, we talked for hours one night in June – about the next step and it ended with “start thinking about a wedding”. We felt giddy like we were engaged without anyone knowing. We picked out a ring and he said it would happen before the end of summer. Labor Day weekend he asked me (somehow still surprised me) and we finally told family we had already planned a wedding. The conversation in June still feels so special.

Love this, Franny <3

My husband proposed to me on a random Friday. He works from home, so he had asked me to text him when I left work so he could get dinner started. I arrive 15min later and walk through our garage which connects directly to our galley kitchen. The first thing I notice is food cooking on the stove top and a couple of candles right next to it. My initial thought was “That’s weird. Why does he have candles burning right next to cooking meat?” Our dogs greet me in the kitchen and they have bows wrapped around their necks, and again, I’m thinking, “That’s weird. Did my mom stop by and put bows on them today?” I look through to where our kitchen opens into our dining room and see the table’s been set with tapered candles and flatware, etc., thinking, “That’s sweet. He wants to sit down and eat dinner with me instead of in front of the TV.” (P.S. Can you tell how completely oblivious I am at this point?)

I *finally* turn the corner into our living room (I’m making our galley kitchen seem like it’s a quarter-mile long, but I promise it’s *maybe* 20 feet) and there he is, kneeling. I’m stunned. He says some sweet things (I literally can’t remember a word, but I know it was sweet). I’m still standing there holding all of my work junk. He carefully takes my stuff, sets it down, and presents me with a ring box. I open it and it’s a Ring Pop (we always joked that he’d never be able to afford a real ring – come to find out later, he had initially *tried* to tie a couple of ring boxes with Ring Pops inside to our pup’s collars and failed miserably). He then presents me with the real ring and it’s freaking perfect. For someone who doesn’t like giving gifts, he’s REALLY good at picking out jewelry for me when he does. We laugh, we cry, I say “yes”. All is well.

Flash backward to a couple weeks previous: I had been rooting around in our office for an external hard drive that held some of my old graphic design work on it. I looked through all of my desk drawers and made my way over to his side of the office to rummage through his (we shared some drawer space so I thought it might’ve ended up there). I start looking and right underneath the top layer of papers I find this long black box. I start to take it out just to look underneath it but then the words “*Brandname* Engagement Rings” pop out at me. I scream and throw the box, you know, as any normal person would do. My then boyfriend was at a meeting, thankfully, so he heard/saw none of this. After the initial shock, I picked up the box to look at it again, and my first thought was, “This is a really long box for an engagement ring. Maybe something else is in it?”
….
I know what you’re thinking… “SHE LOOKED!!!” (Gasp. Shock. Horror.)
….
Well reader, you’re wrong. I DID NOT LOOK. I decided to calmly place the box back into the drawer, carefully layering the papers on top, and closed it, as if nothing ever happened.

Here’s where I messed up. For some reason, I decided to text my then boyfriend, asking, “Hey… do you think my external hard drive is in your desk drawers somewhere, maybe….?” He immediately responds, “Nope.” Apparently, my phrasing was suspicious enough that when he came home he realized maaaaybe he hadn’t hidden the box as well as he thought, and maaaaybe he thought the phrase “Yours, Mine, Ours”, after living together for 2.5 years, didn’t apply to his desk drawers. In the end, he realized I probably saw the box, and if I saw the box, I more than likely saw the ring.

Flash forward to after the proposal:
Him: You found the box.
Me: I found the box.
Him: So you saw the ring?
Me: I DID NOT SEE THE RING.
Him: (smiles) Good.

Moral of the story: If you decide to root around in your boyfriend’s stuff and happen across “the box,” don’t look. It makes things so much sweeter in the end.

I HATE the traditional narrative that the woman has to wait for the man to decide when she is getting married. A marriage should start the same way it will be maintained, with open communication. My husband and I had an ongoing discussion for a few months about whether we were ready to get married. Then we went to the jewelry store and picked out a ring together. At the risk of sounding no fun, I honestly think that surprise proposals are no bueno. You are embarking on one of the most long lasting relationships of your life. It should start with a lot of thoughtful discussion.

My husband and I were long-distance friends who talked every day for years at first; one day, he said, “I have to tell you something I just haven’t felt able to up until now. I’m in love with you, and I think we should get married.” I about fell out of my chair, because we’d never dated — we’d never even HELD HANDS — and yet, I instantly sort of recognized the feeling. I said, “But how do you know?? What if it’s BAD??” And he said, “No, it’s gonna be great. Trust me. It’s gonna be great.”

We’ve been married three years. He was right. It is GREAT.

This is the best!!
I recently moved to Sweden to study. My boyfriend came with me, and he proposed a few weeks after he arrived. We’d talked about getting married, but he thought it was pretty archaic to need ‘a ceremony and a piece of paper’ to say that we love each other and are committed when we both know that already. I’d kind of made peace with that, because I mostly agree (although still love the romance of a wedding!), and because him following me to Sweden was the best confirmation of his commitment I could have wished for. But then he surprised me by proposing (in the middle of a frozen lake in a forest! at sunset!) and when we told people we were engaged, Swedish people kept asking where his ring was! Apparently in Sweden, both partners wear engagement rings, which I think is lovely :)

I’m with the ‘it was a joint decision’ people.
My boyfriend and I first mentioned marriage about 5 months into our relationship so it was clear it’s something we both want. Then it just became a matter of when. We decided that, logistically and financially, this coming summer would be a good time for the wedding, and so, since weddings can take about a year to plan, we booked a venue this past summer and then told everyone that we’re getting married.
The ring came a couple of months later after looking around for a while but ending up with my Mum’s engagement ring which she never wears as it magically fit perfectly on my tiny finger.
When I brought the ring home from my parent’s I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to put it on me, ‘No, you can do it. My hands are greasy from making this sandwich.’
So romantic.

And we only had one friend who couldn’t get her head around how we’d done things – ‘so there was no proposal? Then how are you engaged?’

My friend Claire had picked out a very specific ring to propose to her girlfriend; it was a ring that they had seen very early on in their relationship and found beautiful, in a tiny shop with handmade jewelry in Paris.
She proposed when they were both on a picnic outing in a parc, and lo and behold her girlfriend was also planning to propose, had the ring in her backpack and it was THE EXACT FUCKING RING !! Ahah, they had both bought the same ring from the same place to propose to each other. Beautiful dorks <3
(they are married now and both wear the same engagement ring, ahah)

I love this comments section, and engagement videos and stories. It’s my favorite thing to read on my commute. Thank you all for the lovely stories <3

My boyfriend and I started talking marriage after a few months of being together. It was a joint decision and we talked about all the aspects, but nevertheless he wanted to propose in the "traditional" way. And then it took years and years. I finished school (okay, not getting engaged while still studying was logical to me), we moved for my job and he kept dropping hints as in "if we didn't have this vacation this year, we would probably get married". I have to admit, at some point this really started to bug me, as much as I dislike myself for it. After 5+ years together last summer, when I had stopped talking about it altogether, my boyfriend brought up that topic again. It became obvious that, even though I had told him many times, he was kind of dreading a traditional wedding and didn't quite believe me when I said, time and time again, that I was fine with eloping. So that night we sat down, researched options and decided on a wedding at the place we went to for our first vacation, on our 6-year anniversary. When this date was approved by the wedding agency, he dropped to his knee and proposed, on a Monday night, just before going to bed :D Not what he originally thought of, but perfect for us. We picked a simple ring for me, designed our wedding bands together and the hardest decision I had to make concerned my bouquet. And now, 33 days to go (:

Oh I love that proposal so much!! It made me weep the first time I watched it a few months ago. I can’t wait to read all the comments on this post; there will be so much love and joy and celebration shared here!!

My husband and I talked long and hard about getting married before doing so. One night after we had been living together for a year or so (and after a few drinks), he called my mom and asked her if he could marry me, but she didn’t answer so he left a message speaking in Star Trek terms, since they’d bonded over the original show. He called her Captain Fuller and asked for permission to enter the family, saying he’d like to report to Star Fleet for duty as son in law. Needless to say, my mom called back with an affirmative the next day.

Then a few months later we were walking around downtown Austin and stopped in a few jewelry stores to look at/pick out rings together, and I found one I loved and he bought it on the spot (!!) but said he still wanted to do an official proposal, but on a later date, so that our engagement could be something separate and special, which was okay with me because I knew he still wanted to get down on one knee. A few hours later, we went to the bar where we met (on the street where we lived) and he got down on one knee and surprised the hell out of me by proposing right then and there. He was so nervous he opened the ring box upside down! One of the bartenders took pictures and posted them on their Facebook page before we’d even had the chance to tell all our family the news!

Three months later my husband lost his job, and three months after that we got married (just 29 people including us; we couldn’t afford a big wedding or reception), but after the ceremony we met our friends at the same bar where we met and got engaged so we could have a reception (we didn’t rent it out, we just showed up in our wedding attire and our friends were there waiting and it was awesome). So, overall there were some traditional and non-traditional aspects to our journey to here (which now includes our two month old daughter!), and all of it was/is absolutely perfect.