Have a Cozy Weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? Alex and I are going out to dinner tonight, and I’m looking forward to being together, just us. Sometimes it’s such chaos with work and kids that I feel like I barely see him during the week. I weirdly feel butterflies tonight, haha! Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

My friend Reagan was on This American Life! The episode was fascinating and gripping.

The word for unread books.

How pretty is this wrapping paper?

Michelle Obama on work, life and marriage, including couples counseling. “You go because you think the counselor is going to help you make your case against the other person. ‘Would you tell him about himself?!‘ And lo and behold, counseling wasn’t like that at all.”

Who is your celebrity Thanksgiving soulmate? Made me laugh. (I got her!)

The only way to write an email to your boss.

People are going nuts for this cleanser.

Have you seen this commercial. (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

Old paintings made new.

What newsletters do you subscribe to? Mark Bittman’s newsletter is delightful.

Toning down Asian stereotypes in The Nutcracker. (NYT)

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Agnes on casual questions from a five-year-old: “For several weeks, my three-year-old asked me the same question every evening: ‘Where does the sun go at night?’ I gave the same scientific explanation again and again, adding drawings, orange and lemon representations of a sunset, more details, fewer details – nothing would satisfy him. One night, I just got it. I told him that the sun was tired and ready to go to sleep, and that the night was his blanket with a few holes (the stars). He never asked again. He didn’t want science, he wanted poetry.”

Says Lexie on 11 gifts for best friends: “My best friend picks out the most beautiful calendar for me each year! I look forward to her selection. It’s so nice to receive something a little more beautiful or indulgent than I would pick for myself.”

(Photo by Nicole Franzen. Mark Bittman newsletter via Of a Kind.)

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Jessica

November 22, 2018 2:23 am

I got Ina Garten for my Thanksgiving date too Joanna! I always read your blog while taking my nightly tub, so I was finishing the survey at the sink counter in my towel. As soon as I saw that Ina was my Thanksgiving date I put my arms up in the air Rocky-style and said “YES!” My towel dropped to the ground and I celebrated stark naked in the bathroom. Towel or now towel, I didn’t care – Ina was my Thanksgiving date! Haha

Sarah

November 21, 2018 3:56 am

Oh my gosh the Elton John commercial totally got me! All the tears!

November 19, 2018 9:56 pm

I am a dedicated This American Life listener and found that episode so eye-opening in so many ways. As far as we have come, we still have so very far to go.

Rachel

November 19, 2018 3:02 pm

I would love to see a whole post dedicated to “what newsletters do you subscribe to?” a la “what do you have for work lunch?” and “what has inspired you lately?”

would love to see a roundup of great newsletters from COJ readers!

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to Rachel

November 19, 2018 4:28 pm

that’s a great idea!

Amy

November 19, 2018 2:16 pm

The “Word for Unread Books” reminds me of the countless books that are unread on my nightstand vs. the rows of finished ones sitting on a shelf.

As my nephews begin to read nightly stories at bedtime with their parents, I purchase a book or two for them every holiday and birthday. I’ve always had a love of reading, ever since grade school, and hope the same goes for them. It’s definitely not always the most exciting gift in the moment of unwrapping presents (I also pair these gifts with a toy they’ve been excitedly talking about), but hope that it’ll translate into a love of words and reading someday.

Whether they end up as bookworms or not, I’ll love them regardless and can’t wait to hear more about whatever interests they develop.

Amber

November 19, 2018 12:28 pm

On an unrelated note, are these brownstones on Grove St. across from Little Owl? They look so familiar and it’s driving me crazy.

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to Amber

November 19, 2018 12:55 pm

yes!

Lauren E.

November 19, 2018 11:55 am

My husband travels a lot and I think he’s fiiiiiinally (it’s only been 8 years) realizing that suggesting date night goes SO far with me in anticipation of his trips. He was out of town last weekend and the night before he left he said, “I’d like to take you to dinner.” Swoooon.

And that Elton commercial. Gorgeous.

Beth

November 19, 2018 11:24 am

He didn’t want science, he wanted poetry.
If that does not capture what our young children look for from us (and frankly, what our teens and young adults need from time to time, as well) – I do not know what does. This is so well put – thank you so very much for sharing this.
Honesty, I need poetry more than I need science, too. We should all relish that quality about ourselves. :)

Mel

November 19, 2018 8:59 am

He didn’t want science, he wanted poetry

Dont we all?

Bec

November 19, 2018 12:36 am

I LOVE This American Life and this episode was particularly fantastic and important. I got a bit sick of the endless political coverage (how many times can they follow a random senator?!) and this episode reminds me of the good old episodes about people and their stories.

Nina

November 18, 2018 5:04 pm

Regarding the NPR/Christmas advert story: https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/media/people-excited-about-christmas-adverts-told-about-rest-of-human-culture-20161108116692

Anonymous

November 18, 2018 4:38 pm

I signed my 4 yo daughter up for the secret society of letter writing through the company that you linked to for the pretty wrapping paper and it has been such an incredibly fun thing. She gets letters both from “Master Boddington” and from the pen pal she was connected with in Massachusetts (we live in Austin), so we get to practice writing and geography. Their products are so amazing, love absolutely everything (stationary, book marks, stickers for book nameholders, etc). Thanks for introducing us to them!

Elle

November 18, 2018 12:25 pm

I used to be such a Mark Bittman fan until I saw him speak at the Stone Barns Young Farmers Conference. During the Q&A he was completely dismissive of a woman of color, and refused to answer when she asked a race related question. There was a lot of fallout and processing after, but he just left the conference without addressing it. He did not come off well in general even without this incident.

Reply to Elle

November 28, 2018 10:12 pm

Thank you for sharing. I didn’t know about this until I read your comment and looked it up: https://newfoodeconomy.org/young-black-farmers-mark-bittman-land-reform/

So disappointing to see a stock response. I, too, used to love his recipes.

Emma and Antoine

November 18, 2018 11:15 am

I love the UK Christmas ads. It was the Heathrow bears that got me a little tearful this year… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5TkTj7Lqec

Kyla K

November 18, 2018 10:04 am

As an American waiting to return to London and her British husband (ohhhhh visa issues…), the John Lewis advert made me particularly weepy! Heathrow also does a particularly good job with theirs – here’s a favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cheo1P22cUU.

Steve

November 18, 2018 9:59 am

This is great, its like so many corners of the internet all on one page. All clicks and small descriptions were perfect. And yes, I did almost cry. Great unexpected post!

Sarah

November 17, 2018 3:59 pm

Ah-the John Lewis Christmas ad (commercial) I think most Brits know the silly season has started the day it airs. And they have all managed to make me cry…even now in 2018.

Sara

November 17, 2018 3:18 pm

oh my gosh as I was listening to This American Life I was wondering if it was that Reagan! I meant to google it, now I don’t have to. Such a good episode.

Karen

November 17, 2018 12:42 pm

The John Lewis advertisements are legendary on this side of the Atlantic. Take a couple of minutes to look at the John Lewis ads from 2014 (Monty the penguin) and 2015 (Man on the Moon).

This is the first Christmas where we are financially able to splurge on gifts for our kids if we want to. But now that my eldest is 9, he has lived much of his childhood having only a few toys. And it’s hard for me to know whether we should continue to be frugal, and spend that money on an experience (like Legoland for a weekend) or to give our kids that Christmas morning buzz of excess, even though they will likely end up playing with cardboard boxes by the end of the day! I know this is such a privileged issue but we struggled for so long and aren’t wealthy now – just in a position to stop obsessing about monthly budgets thankfully.

Reply to Karen

November 18, 2018 4:52 pm

My sisters family experienced this after her husband finished his training to be a doctor. They chose to stay frugal and provide experiences and minimal gifts at Christmas. I think they are geniuses, because their kids are so grateful for everything because they don’t get overloaded by their parents, even though they can totally afford to. They love every gift from friends, grandparents, cousins, and siblings because of it.

agnes

November 17, 2018 9:31 am

Oh it’s my comment about my son :-)

I’ve been in such a bad mood all day, and it’s freezing cold here (small island, west of France), I’m feeling so much better now, all smiley and warm inside!

Reply to agnes

November 17, 2018 10:58 am

Such a beautiful story. So perfectly illustrates the universal truth in poetry, the inadequacy of science to truly explain the meaning of life. Love it!

Amy

Reply to agnes

November 18, 2018 12:18 am

Such a sweet comment, too! Made me think of this old Calvin and Hobbes cartoon where the dad explains the sunset (https://goo.gl/images/meLhi8) So, so precious and silly. Sharing bc it always makes me smile. :)

Melissa

Reply to agnes

November 19, 2018 7:02 am

Your comment made me remember a little story I wrote a few years ago, that your son might like.
~~~
“What are you still doing out?” the man asked.
“What do you mean? It’s a beautiful day and I want to enjoy it as long as possible,” I replied. “You can’t fault me for that.”
“Well actually,” the man started to say, but I stopped listening. It really was just too beautiful out to listen to a lecture.
The clouds were that special kind of fluffy where you could see wonderful things in them. Like there, an elephant in a top hat standing on a VW Beetle. Or over there, a unicorn petting a kitten.
The ocean sparkled like it was filled with diamonds and sapphires; each blade of grass made of a thousand tiny emeralds.
The mountains stretched taller than ever before and babies everywhere were belly-laughing. People smiled at each other and said ‘thank you’ as strangers held doors.
Yes, it was gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous that infects everyone with a happiness they can’t quite define.
But it’s strange, now that I think about it, that the man is here. He usually shows up long after I’m gone.
“You have to go,” he was saying. “You’ll mess everything up. Birds will stop chirping and flowers will wilt. The grass will turn brown and the rivers will flood. You have to go now.”
“You’re right,” I said. He usually was. “I guess I am getting pretty tired.”
“You can come back in the morning and shine even brighter,” said the man.
As I started to go, and the clouds looked like clouds and the ocean lost it’s sparkle, I stopped for a second and said to the man, “I don’t know how you stay up all night, in all this darkness. Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around, just a little bit longer?”
“I would love that, Sun, but as it is, I’m betting that you’ll be sleeping in until noon!” said the man on the moon.

Melanie

November 17, 2018 5:52 am

When you said people were going nuts for the cleanser, my mind jumped to a potentially new and fabulous kitchen cleanser- not one for my skin! Ha! Am I old or what?!

Laura

Reply to Melanie

November 18, 2018 12:06 pm

I thought the same thing!

Lucy

November 17, 2018 3:36 am

I’m British and the annual John Lewis commercial is a big deal here. (Although this year the whole Brexit debacle took away some its impact…) One funny thing that happens every year on the day it’s released involves Twitter. In the UK, the advert is a trending item. Lots of people tweet @johnlewis with their reactions. However @JohnLewis isn’t the retailer, he’s an ordinary guy in the US. His replies are legendary; so polite and patient. It’s very sweet.

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to Lucy

November 17, 2018 10:12 am

hahahah that is hilarious! https://twitter.com/johnlewis

Lucy

Reply to Lucy

November 19, 2018 7:14 am

He’s made it to the UK Twitter ad now! https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/nov/19/john-lewis-twitter-uk-christmas-ad?fbclid=IwAR1kvmAFtoEYiBfwLinx5HPscxYW2GxDm8scbWzU6UffmNj3_n4iGIusqYw

Laura C.

November 17, 2018 1:15 am

“People are going nuts for this cleanser”. Before clicking the link, I thought it was a house cleanser. Yep, I’m that numb lately.
And I love the night blanket with the stars. We all need poetry.

Thea Jacobs

Reply to Laura C.

November 17, 2018 8:06 pm

Me too!!

Mona

November 16, 2018 11:24 pm

“He never asked again. He didn’t want science, he wanted poetry.”

Can I tell you how much I love this?

showbox

November 16, 2018 11:05 pm

Have a cozy weekend!!!

Annie

November 16, 2018 10:51 pm

Joanna – as a fellow New Yorker, I’d love to know – where did you and Alex go to dinner?! Hope you had a great date night!

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to Annie

November 17, 2018 10:30 am

hi annie! thank you :) we went to roman’s and it was really wonderful. have you been? it’s a perfect little restaurant with the best food and vibe. we had the cacio e pepe and the pork milanese! xoxo

jeannie

November 16, 2018 10:00 pm

I got Ina Garten as my Thanksgiving soulmate and could not be happier!

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to jeannie

November 16, 2018 10:20 pm

Hahaha same!

jeannie

November 16, 2018 9:57 pm

Oh, that Elton John video… <3

Dana

November 16, 2018 8:55 pm

This is totally off topic, but I just finished “Girls Burn Brighter.” WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BOOK. I am so glad I read about it here (thanks to whomever the recommendation came from). Everyone needs to run out and get this book. I can’t remember the last time I read something so absolutely perfect— heartbreaking yet bursting with hope.

Now I just need a recommendation for what to read next… It feels like nothing can possibly top what I just experienced.

Kale

Reply to Dana

November 17, 2018 6:57 am

I finished girls burn brighter just recently and followed with little fires everywhere!

Cynthia

November 16, 2018 8:40 pm

Enjoy your dinner out. You need time together as a couple.

Nathalie

November 16, 2018 8:03 pm

I just listened to the This American Life episode today and immediately had to encourage my sisters to listen as we were raised Mormon and could unfortunately relate having had many uncomfortable “worthiness interviews” ourselves. I am so hoping that this type of exposure and attention will change the practice for a better and safer model! And to any Mormon parents…please don’t let your children attend those interviews alone! And if your spouse is a Bishopric member, encourage them to listen to this story! I am a grown woman and still trying to dismantle the shame I inherited as a 12 year old girl from my first Bishop’s interview. Well done to your friend Reagan and Elna for sharing their poignant and funny and sad stories! The miracle of the internet is that memories which feel so individual are revealed to be universal and can therefore unite us a community and disrobe the isolating shame that kept us silent for too long. I am often moved to tears when I listen to or read stories that show me my pain and sorrow can unite me with others who have articulated what I felt, experienced, saw and heard. Its miraculous.

Rebecca

November 16, 2018 7:50 pm

I love the Sunday Soother! It is one of the only newsletters I look forward to reading in this anxious age. Comes out every Sunday with funny and warm writing up top, then lots of awesome beauty recommendations and links to read. http://www.tinyletter.com/candrews

Joy

Reply to Rebecca

November 16, 2018 10:47 pm

Thanks for the rec! I subscribed!

Kim

November 16, 2018 7:47 pm

Ha ha, my son is the opposite. He’s four going on 22 and says often at night, “Well, mommy. Actually the sun doesn’t go down OR go to sleep, the earth, the plant we live on, spins and we turn away from the sun for the night. It’s sunny in Australia.”

Commas for his dramatic pauses.

Abbie

November 16, 2018 7:47 pm

Crying hysterically, as we are planning to buy our first ever piano for our three boys for Christmas this year. Our oldest has taken lessons for yearly three years now, practicing on a now broken keyboard. What a gift music is.

Maureen

Reply to Abbie

November 17, 2018 7:54 am

Abbie – What a wonderful gift for your boys! Our parents gave us a piano as a present as well when we were kids…we were SO excited :) We had to set timers so each of us got a turn LOL. That was back in the ’70’s…the piano followed us from California to the Midwest when we moved. We had such a ball! I can still sit down with my sister to play “Heart and Soul” LOL Congrats!

Emily

November 16, 2018 7:29 pm

Hi Joanna! I somehow just knew you and I would both get Ina Garten as our Thanksgiving soulmate, and I was right. LOL! Have a beautiful weekend.

Lindsey

November 16, 2018 7:04 pm

My tsundoku is ENORMOUS. It was taking over half of the bedroom!

(On re-reading…what a sentence that is! Haha!)

Melanie

November 16, 2018 7:01 pm

I can’t find Reagan on This American Life…

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to Melanie

November 16, 2018 10:24 pm

She was interviewed on the Elna part about their Mormon upbringing xo

Melanie

Reply to Melanie

November 17, 2018 5:46 am

Thanks! Can’t wsit to listen later…

June

November 16, 2018 6:52 pm

Can you imagine being Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage counselor?? As an MFT, I get chills just thinking about it!

Joanna Goddard

Author

Reply to June

November 16, 2018 10:25 pm

You’re so right!!!

Lexie

November 16, 2018 6:47 pm

Ann Friedman’s newsletter is consistently amazing! I don’t know how she finds the time to read such amazing journalism and produce such incredible work!

Tina, nyc

November 16, 2018 6:41 pm

Joy, Have a great trip to New Orleans!!

Jo, I think often Of your friend Reagan and her beautiful daughter Piper. Her words on motherhood and her experiences touched me so deeply. I look forward to listening to the podcast. Thank you!

A butterflies for date night… you two are so adorable!! Have a great night!

Caitlin Rodriguez

November 16, 2018 6:33 pm

Oh, that Elton commercial! I’m not crying….

Charlotte K

November 16, 2018 6:19 pm

I love the comment about the sun and the blanket of sky. And the little one will figure it out scientifically just fine when the time comes!

Joy

November 16, 2018 5:55 pm

I’m so excited for the weekend because we are leaving for our first ever kid-free trip to New Orleans! And, thanks for Cup of Jo, we are going on a food tour with Remy Robert!! So excited.

And I LOVE newsletters! I subscribe to so many: Ann Friedman, Garden Variety, Jean Edelstein, Paco’s (thanks to CoJ), AND I just started my own this week! Shameless plug: https://tinyletter.com/joynetanyathompson

Jill Vecchio

Reply to Joy

November 17, 2018 9:30 am

Hi Joy,
I’ll check it out.

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