Design

Have a Great Weekend (Plus, Some News!)

Cup of Jo Clare V collaboration

What are you up to this weekend? I’m taking the boys to visit my parents in Michigan. My mom is making roast chicken tonight, and I’m planning to sleep in as long as possible tomorrow morning.

Also, we are so excited to share that we’re doing a collaboration with Clare V.! We created four pieces that we’ve always wanted — sneak peek above! — and I really hope you love them. The collection will be launching here on Thursday, October 11th, at 12 p.m. EST. Sign up here, if you’d like a head’s up. (We’d also love to warmly invite you to events in New York and San Francisco!) Meanwhile, have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

Dear Younger Me…”

Apple cheddar pie. Be still my heart.

Natasha Rothwell wants to be a romantic lead. Yes, please. (NYT)

Loving these bowls for work lunches.

Sweet moment in South Korea.

Anton and I read this book last night, and it was so suspenseful!

Me every day.

An app to help you discover the quietest restaurants and bars. (Alex and I used to wear earplugs to some restaurants in Manhattan!)

This sweatshirt makes me want to learn how to do embroidery.

My friends swear by these.

Why everything you know about obesity is wrong. “I have never written a story where so many of my sources cried during interviews, where they double- and triple-checked that I would not reveal their names, where they shook with anger describing their interactions with doctors and strangers and their own families.”

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Eloise on six fall books: “I love Anne Lamott – I’d greedily read her grocery list – and preordered her next essay collection, Almost Everything, to be picked up at an independent bookstore the night of her reading. I can’t wait!”

Says Julia on a romantic late-night pasta: “I only saw my dad every other weekend, and he’d often have to work late into the night. Sometimes when he would get home, he’d come into my room and gently wake me, but never say a word. Groggy, I’d get up and head straight to the kitchen, with just the light over the stove on. I can still remember sitting on the chair, legs dangling. My dad would place two bowls and two spoons on the table, open the pantry and take out a sleeve of cinnamon graham crackers, and crumble them into the bowls. Then he’d grab a half gallon of milk from the fridge, shaking it feverishly because he knew I liked the bubbles. He would pour the milk into our bowls and we’d sit and eat in silence. Sometimes he’d wink at me and I’d giggle, but mostly we would just enjoy the moment together, the calm. Then, he’d carry me back to bed, me hugging him tightly around his neck. Such a simple gesture but so meaningful and precious to me. To this day, graham crackers and milk is still my all time favorite comfort food.”

(Photo of Ally Walsh by Nicki Sebastian for Cup of Jo. App via Kottke.)

  1. Rash says...

    Please tell me about the jeans and white top in the picture! I desperately need those in my life!

  2. Sandra says...

    You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. The collection in stunning! Sending much love your way on a celebratory day for you and your team.

  3. B says...

    the obesity article has me completely inflamed, remembering every doctor i’ve ever been to that has fat shamed me. i went to a new pcp once and the first thing she said to me upon entering the room was, “what’s with the weight?” and then proceeded to diagnose the twitching in my hands as a result of “soda drinks–like mountain dew—that have a very high amount of caffeine in them.” she pretended to believe me when i honestly told her i don’t drink soda, and haven’t had a mountain dew since i was 13 years old. later, after running some labs she called with my bloodwork results and sounded completely baffled that my cholesterol happens to be excellent.

    the first time i met with our reproductive endocrinologist, the first thing she did was swing her computer around with “research” that obesity affects the ability to become pregnant. “every pound you lose will get you closer to having your baby,” she said. this is before she ever ran one test on my body.

    the worst part, is that you believe them. you believe that you’ve somehow done something wrong. that it should be a given that something in your body has malfunctioned BECAUSE you’re fat, and you did that. you made yourself fat. what other reason could it be? if you weren’t fat, this wouldn’t be happening. none of my fertility tests came back with any conclusive results as to why i couldn’t get pregnant, and it’s still difficult for me to truly believe that it isn’t my fault. that if i worked hard enough, or cared enough, or never ate a french fry, then it would have worked the first time. it’s hard to believe what a miracle your body is when everyone looks at you and sees something wrong.

    • Nicole says...

      B, I’m a tiny, skinny woman who’s been through fertility issues and found to have no specific cause. I’m also a doctor and I read this article a few weeks back with horror at what my profession does to so very many people. I’m so very sorry infertility is happening to you. I’m sorry many of my colleagues treat you in this disparaging, dismissive and shaming way. I’m trying to encourage as many of my own colleagues as possible to read the article in the hope it might help them with challenging their own views and treating their patients with greater compassion. And I wish you the very best for the future. May you be blessed with a healthy child soon.

  4. Sasha L says...

    About the obesity article, thank you. I’m not and have never been over weight, but I have so many issues from being raised by a mom who loved in fear of being fat, despises fat people and sees weight=character. Years ago I heard This American Life’s Tell Me I’m Fat and it was so good for me. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to increase their compassion and work on weight issues. Like the linked article, it brutally lays out just how cruel and inhumane our culture can be.

  5. Justine says...

    why is the graham cracker reader comment linked to late night romantic pasta?

    • Stella Blackmon says...

      Hi Justine, that’s where the reader left it! x

  6. I’ll take the white blouse. It’s hard to find nice cottony white crisp blouses.

    • Golden Moon says...

      Where can one locate this perfect white blouse? Most out there are stiff and not as organic. Tips?

  7. Lucy says...

    Julia’s comment about her dad made me cry, and reminded me that good, caring, loving, real parenting can come in many different forms. Thank you for that, Julia.

  8. Ugh! That graham cracker story. I die from the sweetness.

  9. Nina says...

    oh the graham cracker story…sob

  10. H. says...

    That obesity article really bothered me. I’ve rapidly gained a large amount of weight in a short time (as a side effect of some medication) and being told “You’ll never lose it, you’re going to always be this new heavier weight, may as well not even try” is really upsetting. I’ll admit that part of my issue is that I feel less “attractive” but even more I just feel like my body doesn’t work as well as it did when it was lighter — walking long distances is harder, I have less energy all the time, etc. I just want my old body back and being told “Yeah, not going to happen” is so depressing.

    Also — As much as people are right to point out that society fat shames people, I’d note that plenty of people had NO PROBLEM commenting on my weight when I was thinner. People constantly commented on what I ate, implied I must have an eating disorder, told me I needed to put some meat on my bones, etc. And people constantly judge models for being too skinny. It’s not just an obesity issue. It’s a bigger issue with people feeling comfortable judging and commenting on other people’s bodies across the board. (And it’s not a women-only problem — I have a male friend who’s also complained that people have no problem commenting on his low weight or what he eats.)

    • Alice says...

      I feel similarly. I’m technically categorized as “obese” but am the “fittest” I’ve ever been, eating a healthy diet, working out 4-5 times each week, and being active in my daily life. If you look at me, you’d think “she could lose 10 lbs” but most people would probably be shocked that I’d need to 50 lbs to get into my “optimal” weight zone. The last time I was in that zone was when I was in college, 15 years ago, and NOT treating my body with the care that I do today.

      The frustrating thing for me is that I WOULD like to lose weight. When I’m slimmer I feel better, my body moves better, I’m less self-conscious, my physical relationship with my husband is better, and I am JUST HAPPIER.

      But what does this article tell me? To just give up? That I should accept my weight and find happiness where I am now? That society should allow me to be the weight that I am? But what if I don’t want to settle? I’m so conflicted because while I do want heavier people to be treated with the same respect that slimmer people do – I also truly, truly want to be physically & emotionally in a different place than I am now.

    • Danielle says...

      H. and Alice. I really feel both of these comments. 15+ years ago I lost nearly 100 pounds. Since then a bit of it has creeped up but in many ways I am way more active and eat healthier than I have at any other point in my life. The reality is that to be my thinnest, the weight that is considered “ideal” for me I would have to restrict my calories to point that would basically be constant hunger. After over a decade of always knowing the WW “points” or calories in every food I found myself wanting to cry every time I opened My Fitness Pal to record some food. I kept thinking is this literally how I have to spend the next three decades of my life? Tracking slices of bread and a cup of yogurt? I recently read Intuitive Eating and have begun the workbook. I highly recommend checking this out- there are tons of podcasts and Instagram profiles that support this idea as well. It can really help switch some thought and behavior patterns to create a healthier relationship with food.

  11. Heather says...

    Julia’s comment about her dad and their late night ritual made me cry, just so so sweet.

    • Me too! I lost my dad last year, and we, too, only got to see each other every other weekend. Makes me miss him so much.

  12. Sasha L says...

    The graham crackers and milk story, oh my goodness, that’s gotta be one of the best things I’ve ever read here. I didn’t even know that graham crackers and milk were a thing and now my heart is a size bigger.

    Does everyone eat graham crackers and milk??
    When I was a kid, my dad and my two brothers would put chocolate cake with frosting in a glass, pour milk over it and then eat with a spoon. My mom never did and I don’t either, I’m not a milk drinker, but I thought it was a normal thing until I discovered no one else does this!

    • Agnes says...

      I agree.. that story made me tear as I lost my dad last year. AND, my Scottish dad used to put milk on so many things!! Cake included! They are not alone, haha.

  13. Rachel says...

    I love that you posted the obesity article. I am not obese, but some women I love very much are, and I have seen the pain our society’s attitudes about obesity have affected them.

    I can also still really relate to the discussion of how doctors approach weight gain/loss. I have been surprised at some of the things doctors have said to me without first trying to get some insight into my history.

    I’ve been told “make sure you don’t eat too much fruit,” as a random recommendation without asking first what foods I eat (at the time she would have discovered that I should eat MORE fruit and cut out soda).

    When pregnant the second time, I was shamed about gaining “too much” weight in a short amount of time. I ended up gaining the exact same amount of weight that I did with my first pregnancy–28 lbs (25-30 lbs was recommended). In both pregnancies, there was a time that I lost weight, a time I gained a lot at once, and a time that I only gained a little–it all equaled out in the end. Why wouldn’t she first ask about my past experiences during pregnancy or look at my history?

    It seems that doctors are really oblivious to the dangers of shaming women and are completely thoughtless about how they talk about weight/diet.

    • Sasha L says...

      Oh my, how frustrating Rachel! I completely agree, there needs to be compassion/education/enlightenment on this issue.

      As a birth doula I had a client once who was shamed and badgered for not gaining enough. She was petite and perfectly healthy, as was her growing baby. But it got so bad that she started leaving on her Sorel pack snow boots (they weigh a ton!) when she got weighed. It’s so discouraging that 1. This actually worked – no one medical figured it out that she was *cheating*, and that’s a little scary and 2. They couldn’t have a better understanding of maternal weight gain and not treat her like a naughty child for misbehaving. It truly is about what one is eating, not a number on a scale. And about respecting women, even when they happen to be pregnant.

  14. Heather says...

    Oh, fall in Michigan…how I miss the cider mills!

  15. Lauren E. says...

    I loooove love love Natasha Rothwell. I didn’t realize last week’s episode was the last in this season of Insecure and I nearly cried. That show is by far one of my favorites on TV. I’d watch anything she writes or stars in!

  16. Elizabeth says...

    Just a little note to say– I hope the Cup of Jo team considers covering the report from the UN about the possibility of a climate change disaster. We have a limited amount of time to cut back emissions and avoid a massive disaster. You guys are so thoughtful in how you address current events– I’d love to see a plan of action. PLEASE consider this as it may be the most pressing issue of our time (and I don’t say this lightly because gosh, what a chaotic era we’re living in).

    xo

    • Sandra says...

      I, too, would be interested in this! I am ashamed to say that I have become ignorant after some self-care-related departures from watching the news.

    • Claire says...

      Yes, I would also love to see this covered!

    • Jen says...

      Ditto. As a mom of a young child, I’m feeling sick to my stomach about this. I would love to find a way to harness the power of this community of lovely, powerful women on this issue. Thank you for all that you do <3.

    • Elizabeth says...

      Jen, I’m on the fence about having kids and this piece truly gave me pause! Then I thought, what would CoJ say about this? Which is what led me to comment in the first place. <3

    • Tori says...

      Yes, another vote for this!! Living eco friendly needs to become the new normal! Yes, it may mean buying less stuff that you see in blogs, but priorities!!

  17. Julia’s food story is the sweetest! I’m tearing up!

  18. Sydni says...

    The graham crackers & milk story is just the sweetest!!!!

  19. Amanda says...

    Have always followed along “no commenting:)”, but thought I might offer a little tip after reading about Anton’s first weeks of school. If you haven’t already, try: School’s First Day of School by Adam Rex. My six year old and I really enjoyed it and it’s great fun to imagine the school also being nervous:). Good luck this school year to the whole CoJ staff and community—- just killing it out there, tackling anxiety, playground/hallway heartaches and “I can’t find my lunchbox” mornings. Xoxo

  20. K says...

    Thank you so much for sharing that obesity article. What a great way to stimulate the conversation. As a health professional, I am going to try to do better. Xx

  21. Farah says...

    Yes to more Natasha Rothwell! Thank you for sharing that story!

  22. Brooke says...

    Also seeing Natasha Rothwell featured and a little grandma and granddaughter in South Korea makes the world feel like a friendly more inclusive place and that we can all make that more true learning from each other, kindness, curiosity, upending old ways . Ahhh!!! You guys are rocking it..

  23. Brooke says...

    It is beyond wonderful to see you guys post about the Health At Every Size movement… It’s so vital and life-giving and I’m so glad it’s getting out to a wide audience of women. I participate in several communities around this as a therapist and it’s incredible to feel the joy and power of unhooking health & beauty from thinness. If people are interested in more resources Be Nourished has a wonderful website full of resources for trusting your body and also Marc David does incredible writing around pleasure and peacefulness of eating and moving that’s not about weight loss. Eating in the Light or the Moon by Anita Johnson is also GORGEOUS using mythology to explore women’s relationships to power, anger, freedom, sensuality. YAYYYYYYY CUP of Jo, I’m so happy ✨✨✨.

  24. linda says...

    I love your recs joanna and have really grown to trust when you suggest we try something!! I just ordered the frownies and can’t wait to try them! thank you for sharing :)

  25. Emily says...

    I baked that apple cheddar pie today as an act of self-care in the face of the Kavanaugh confirmation. I’d never baked a pie before, but have recently found beginners’ baking quite soothing so I gave it a shot. My heart ached from the news and I just wanted to do something simple and warm and good. It turned out beautifully and, honestly, as silly as it sounds, it made the pain of this day bearable. I loathe Kavanaugh, I loathe that we don’t listen to women in this country, I loathe what his confirmation says to survivors of sexual assault. But today, I took care of myself; I made a good pie. Tomorrow the work continues.

    • Sasha L says...

      I baked a pie last weekend, apple as well. Baking may not fix everything, but it’s not nothing in the self care department. Hugs to you.

    • Jeanne says...

      Reading your comment made me feel a little more peaceful. Thank you.

  26. Amanda says...

    Thanks for sharing SoundPrint. My husband has vestibular migraine and loud spaces can leave him dizzy and unable to focus. Downloading it now and hoping for decent coverage where we live!

  27. Anonymous2 says...

    I swear by those, too. I’ve worn them almost every night for four years. If I didn’t, I’d have a permanent scowl between my eyebrows. I scowl when I think and I think a lot, deeply.

  28. Stacy says...

    Loved the article on fat shaming and obesity. So timely and affirming for me. I’m not a Huff Post reader and otherwise might not have found it on my own. Thank you!

  29. Ashley chung says...

    Julia’s comment on late night graham cracker cereal with her dad made me tear up. It’s just the sweetest thing.

    • KylieO says...

      Same here! Actual tears. So simple & beautiful.

  30. thank you so very very very much for the article about obesity, to use the medicalized term, or, to use a non-pathologized term, being alive in a bigger body. it’s incredibly refreshing to see what us fat-inclusive activists and thinkers have long been saying highlighted in a mainstream space! And truly, sharing the reality that diets don’t work, period, is good for women of all body shapes and sizes; ditto the idea the follows this realization: you can get off the hamster-wheel project of controlling your body weight and get on with the business of living a more liberated life. Thanks so much for bringing this topic to your readers, COJ!

  31. Sara says...

    The interview with Natasha Rothwell was lovely and funny and heart-on-her-sleeve honest. Sidenote, and someone may have mentioned already, but you mis-spelled her name.

  32. Janey says...

    I cannot wait to see the collection! Congratulations!

  33. We used to make “graham cracker soup” at home! Break them into fourths and shove as many as possible, as tightly as possible into a mug– fill with milk. Cinnamon sugar grahams for best results! :)

  34. diana k. says...

    Burp Castle in NY is a bar that actually shushes you if you’re too loud. This is how I learned that I do not belong in a quiet bar.

  35. Mary says...

    Graham cracker cereal is the best!
    Signing up for the quiet restaurant app. I can’t imagine working in some of these louder than loud restaurants.

  36. Kristin says...

    Thank you for the obesity story. I have a chubbier than most preschooler and my own history with feeling fat- even though I am a muscular build within a “normal” Wright range. I remember my dad calling me husky too and feeling so devastated. I struggle so much with knowing how to support my little one- I’m so worried she will be teased just for being bigger. I’m preparing her already to hopefully see her body kindly- when she says she’s big (and she just means tall, which she also is) or someone else is small, I just say “yup you’re exactly the size you’re supposed to be, and she’s exactly the size she is supposed to be. We all grow the way that is best for our bodies and everyone is different”.
    Any other advice for how to respond to size stuff as she gets older?

    • Abbie says...

      Never ever ever focus your attention on her size, no matter what it is. And tell her she’s beautiful to the point that she’s annoyed by it. And mean it. If she is given proper nutrition information and a love of movement from you, she will always be healthy and hopefully be able to one day see her body as capable and strong and beautiful just the way it is.

    • diana k. says...

      Oh my gosh, my mom told me I had to lose weight my whole teenage-hood. Every time we left a clothing store I would be in tears begging her to stop talking about my weight. Just remind her that her body’s job is to carry her through her life, it’s not there to impress anyone, it’s not for anyone’s amusement or judgement, and it’s definitely not supposed to look any certain way. Try to teach her to have a healthy relationship with food and movement, I turned both into weapons against my body for way too long. Above all, daughters pick up on their mom’s relationship to her own body so be kind to yourself in front of her. You seem like a great mom, I trust that you’ll be great in times of body crisis.

    • Annie says...

      I tell my children that every body is a good body and focus on what our bodies can do and how they feel rather than how they look.

  37. Annie says...

    Sad that in the same post where you highlight an article about all the unfair things about being overweight you announce a collab with a brand who’s biggest size offering is a large. And I’m sure if you follow Katie from the12ishstyle you know she started #makemysize. Definitely disappointed. I mean, this is still my favorite blog and the only one I read on a daily basis… but it’s a damn shame.

    • J Ray says...

      Preach!!! Yes, it’s harder to do. But that’s where readers can really see how you use your brand influence.

  38. Lulu says...

    Aw, my dad would eat crumbled Graham crackers in milk too!

  39. Amanda says...

    I am moved so deeply reading all the responses to each of the posts in turn, first graham crackers then jeans, onto wearing Frownies and processing obesity.

    This community of people across the globe connected here has come to mean something to me that I didn’t expect: an end of day landing place for thoughts, a place to have my mind provoked and my heart touched.

    Thank you all for sharing and commenting and writing and being authentic and thoughtful and so very interesting.

  40. Katie says...

    Oh Julia’s comment about her dad has me misty eyed. I always wished for those kinds of interactions with my dad

  41. Katie says...

    wow Julia’s comment almost made me cry <3 beautiful

  42. Gail, in northern California says...

    I shared Julia’s graham cracker story with a friend who just lost her younger sister. I thought it would take her elsewhere for a while. Thank you, Julia.

  43. Robin says...

    Thank you so much for the obesity story. I’m lucky enough to have a body society approves, but that isn’t true of everyone around me, and it’s devastating to see the big and little ways the wonderful, capable women around me are deminished by society’s perception of them.

  44. Azlin says...

    Julia’s story is so sweet and touches the heart. It’s the little things that count and the sincerity of the action. Thank you for sharing ❤️

  45. Kathryn says...

    Until maybe college I thought that graham crackers were intended as a cereal and was totally confused about why rhey were not located IN the cereal aisle. But instead with the cookies/crackers?! Today I still only eat them in a bowl with milk late at night. The. Best.

  46. Priscilla Frost says...

    I love Frownies but…..
    don’t use them if there’s even a slight chance you may be having sex. You’ll totally forget you have them on and not until you are in the bathroom afterwards will you realize with horror that you’ve had pieces of paper taped to your face the whole time.

  47. Congrats!! Cannot wait to see the different styles!!

    Rebecca

  48. Andrea says...

    Have been reading that Jon Agee book with my kiddos all week! My son’s school had an author visit with him this week and he came home with a signed copy of it – it’s so cute!

  49. Kay says...

    Wow that story about the father and graham cracker ritual just made my heart burst. So beautiful.

  50. Nadine Hughey says...

    I REALLY want to know where that man build a salad for under $8! And love that picture of the passengers on the train. I loved to see adults taking an interest in my young daughter when they weren’t obligated.

  51. kate says...

    Ohhh, Julia’s comment that you shared with all of us… so beautiful. I needed to read that this week.

  52. Jo says...

    Oh my, Julia’s comment about her Dad…

  53. Lee says...

    Oh my gosh, I read “there’s a wall in the middle of this book” to my kids at our bookstore yesterday and as soon as I saw your link comment I thought, “I hope she’s recommending that book!” and you were!

    As a participator at my daughters co-op preschool I’ve started having the opportunity for the first time to read to groups of kids (instead of just my own) which I really love and enjoy, and it definitely changes the way I think of children’s books, that was one in particular that I thought was just perfect for a group story time!

  54. amanda june says...

    A counter-perspective to the obesity article: https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2018-09-26/everything-you-know-about-obesity-is-not-wrong

    I was obese all my life and lost over a hundred pounds in my mid-twenties. I believe that articles like the HuffPo one, and the popular mindset it represents, are — while perhaps well-intentioned — not based on reality, and as such do more harm than good to those most vulnerable to their influence.

    • TC says...

      I respectfully disagree. There is a great need in the medical community to change the way obese patients are currently treated, and that is what I took away from the article. As someone who has been “normal” weight and obese, who has spent the last thirty years yo-yoing between the two, so much of the article rang true for me, especially the part where I was denied treatment for a medical issue, unrelated to my weight, because the specialist wanted me to lose 30 lbs first. I never lost the weight, but I did feel pretty crummy about myself, and I never got the treatment I needed at the time because I was so discouraged. This is a huge problem. And this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the problem of mis/conflicting information in nutrition research.

  55. Claire says...

    I am eye-balling those jeans in the photo….
    Also- I already love that SoundPrint app. I am already a fan even though I only just learned about it.
    That article on obesity is excellent, and reflects a major shift in thinking that seems long overdue. Here’s to letting go of misinformation and outdated biases.

  56. I read that article on obesity. As someone who was very overweight who reduced their size to only the slightly overweight range, the part that haunted me the most is that NINETY EIGHT PERCENT of people put their weight back on plus more or are hungry basically forever. My body is actively trying to bring me back to my heaviest and i have to fight that, be hungry, forever.

    • Ingrid says...

      I know! That is close to being the most depressing article I’ve ever read!

    • Kim says...

      Our bodies want us at our heaviest. I have fought it my whole life too, Kristina. Weight Watchers, calorie counting, etc. helped me lose over 100 pounds over the years…and then I gained it all back. I broke down and had weight loss surgery because it has scientifically proven to help rewire your brain, but even that solution can be short lived if you do not stick to the plan diligently for the rest of your life. I can only imagine what I could accomplish with my life if I weren’t so preoccupied with hating and fighting my body. What all of us could accomplish.

  57. Dear ladies,

    The ‘My friends swear by these’ link – can we talk? Forehead training? Are you F*CKING kidding me? Learn to love your face. Those wrinkles? Hard bloody earned. That deep one over my left eye? Every surprise I’ve ever had – ‘A puppy! I got in! HE ASKED!!’ Getting older older means not giving a shit what people think. Look forward to it!

    • Tricia says...

      Respectfully, I see your point, but also I think it’s okay for women to do whatever they want to their faces if it makes them happy.

    • Agnes says...

      Hahaa Jen! I hear you!!! AND I’m going to order these because MY big frinkle (as me and my friends call it) makes me look permanently angry and I work with little kids. I also have a big nose and unruly hair, so I can and will do without the witchy look at LEAST until I’m like 85 or something. I hope. If these things work. Haha!

  58. Kathy says...

    I’m a physician and reading that article about obesity was so frustrating. Poorly researched and just blatantly incorrect, with such a profound lack of scientific and medical knowledge. Sure, there are some valid points but when it’s embedded in a large pile of just ignorant claims it’s so hard to take seriously.

    • Lydia says...

      Thanks for your perspective, Kathy! My hunch is that this article is super unhelpful. We live in an obesogenic environment; I do think it is possible to be near a healthy BMI range, but it does mean saying “no” often as food is nearby 24/7.

    • jan says...

      @Kathy, Thank god, I thought the exact same thing! It was ludicrous. People need to educate themselves.

  59. Amanda G says...

    All week I’ve been looking forward to heading out of town this weekend (D.C. for a wedding!) but now all I want to do is stay in chilly Colorado and make that apple pie instead. My husband introduced me to the joy of cheddar on apple pie and there is NOTHING better – maybe I’ll make it for him next weekend! :)

  60. Hannah says...

    Wait, will you guys actually be at the Clare V store in SF? I live here and would be so excited to meet the voices I’ve been reading for years. Like being invited to the Oscars, but so much better!

    • Stella Blackmon says...

      Yes, please come, Hannah!!!!

  61. Umaimah says...

    Natasha *Rothwell not Roshwell.

  62. Mary says...

    Julia’s comment has me thinking about that quote from the movie Vanilla Sky: “It’s the little things. There’s nothing bigger, is there?”
    Such a beautiful and sweet memory. Thank you for sharing.

  63. Jennifer Mulson says...

    Oh, Julia’s story about the graham crackers. So poignant. Love it.

    • Elizabeth Pierson says...

      Julia’s story was so sweet and brought tears to my eyes a little

  64. Teresa says...

    Thank you for the Dear Younger Me article! My daughter is going on her first interview with a college coach next week, and this article could not be more timely.

  65. Mary says...

    Thanks so much for sharing. It is so funny to me thatihave been searching for a bowl for my lunch. Enjoy the time with your mom.

  66. Rose says...

    Curious, so you didn’t talk at the restaurants? (Earplugs.) Or you shouted and contributed to the ambience?

  67. Esme says...

    Maybe its the Friday evening glass of red wine speaking, but Julia’s beautiful comment has me awful teary.

    • s says...

      same here – sitting at work desk, dabbing corners of my eyes…

    • Kellie Pantekoek says...

      Same here! So touching.

  68. Erin says...

    So weird that you posted about frownies today because I remember you posted about them a few years ago, I bought them and used them for a while, and then kind of forgot about them. Then JUST THIS MORNING before seeing this post I found them in my closet. I remember I thought they worked pretty well but weren’t very comfortable to wear. Maybe I’ll try again.

  69. Jo says...

    Julia’s comment made me tear up. especially this line – “he’d carry me back to bed, me hugging him tightly around his neck.”.

  70. Jackie says...

    Julia comment brought tears to my eyes. Such a sweet and beautiful memory!

  71. Sarah says...

    Now I’m crying about graham crackers and milk. What a sweet story.

    • Me, too! So, so sweet!

  72. Sam says...

    The obesity article was so, so good. I’d love to see a round up of children’s books that showcase all body types and fight the fat-shaming culture we all grew up in.

    • M says...

      Agreed! I learned so much. It was horrifying to hear how doctors treated the patients featured in the article. And even worse, to see how insurance companies are exacerbating the problem. And this floored me: “Nearly half of 3- to 6- year old girls say they worry about being fat.” What. I really need to cut out commentary on my weight in my household before I have kids. If I’m unkind to myself about my own weight, it’s only natural that my future daughter would take on the same insecurities.

    • Robin says...

      Yes please!

  73. Morgan says...

    Julia’s comment brought tears to my eyes. I wish my experience with my father, who I only spent summers with growing up, had been sweet; however, it makes my heart so happy to know that dads can do this for their daughters.

  74. Michigan! That’s where I’m from and live still : ) (Raised in Bloomfield, live in Detroit). If you’re at all near the area, definitely take Toby and Anton to the Franklin Cider Mill – the line moves fast and the donuts are amaaaazing.

    • Erin says...

      I’m in Troy! I vote for Yates Cider Mill, though Franklin is great too. ;)

  75. Kelsy says...

    You can learn to embroider! It’s honestly not hard to pick up and such a good way to spend time on the couch with a show and a project during colder months:)

    • Cynthia says...

      Yes. It’s something you can pick up when you have a minute and put down when you have too. I have some beautiful tablecloths my mom embroidered for me and now that she’s passed away, they mean even more to me. I really have fun with machine embroidery.

    • b says...

      I was just coming to say the same thing. My mom taught me but really, hop on Etsy and find a kit. You’ll be addicted in an afternoon. I love CozyBlue, Ellucy Stitches, OddAnaStitch. Sarah K. Benning does amazing botanicals, but no kits, just patterns. But it’s not hard to learn from just a pattern. Namaste Embroidery has great YouTube tutorials.

  76. Camille says...

    Such a precious comment from Julia about her dad! I’ll be thinking about that all weekend.

  77. Jackie says...

    Frownies! I almost feel the face-change happening – need these, stat!

    • Andrea says...

      I ordered them immediately. Ha! Can’t wait to try them!

  78. The reader comment about her dad and the graham cracker tradition nearly made me cry. It’s incredible how unforgettable and significant so many little pieces of life are. <3

    • Hannah says...

      I came here to say the same thing. Such a sweet story and beautifully written!

    • Emm says...

      I am totally crying. What a lovely story!!!

  79. Kate says...

    Thanks so much for sharing the obesity article! It’s been making the rounds among my friends, and has sparked some meaningful conversations with some of my thin friends who have never struggled with their weight in the way that I have. Between that, and your post about Katie Sturino (I didn’t know who she was, but HOLY COW SHE’S MY FAVORITE NOW) plus lots of different shaped women on your beauty posts, I’m feeling the love for curves here these days and it makes me feel so happy and included. Thank you Joanna and team!

    • Same! I’ve been needing some plus love over here on Cup of Jo and I am feeling it! <3

  80. Eloise says...

    Great links, as usual, and I did a triple take when I saw my comment cited!

  81. Taylor says...

    *checks my bank account* *pretends I never checked my bank account*

    READY FOR IT ALL

    • Stella Blackmon says...

      Lololol, Taylor laughing so much at this