Design

Have a Restful Weekend.

Pie by Hana Asbrink

How are you doing this week? Thank you for all the thoughtful comments yesterday, and I hope you’re hanging in there. My mother-in-law is visiting, so we’ll be taking it easy, watching movies and baking cookies. Take gentle care of yourselves, and, if you’re in a reading mood, here are a few links from around the web…

How lovely is this green room? (NYT)

Bookmarks is like Rotten Tomatoes but for books.

The 30-minute dish I cook for myself and for myself alone.”

A great interview with Misty Copeland. “Right before the show, some of the dancers came up to me and asked if it was my family out there. And I was like, I don’t have 500 family members. No. That’s black people. The black community.”

This mug made me laugh.

Casey Zhang’s apartment is simply beautiful. All those shapes!

Ooh, this garden party top.

Effort shock. “It isn’t so much that geniuses make it look easy; it’s that they make it look it fast.”

Books are bananas.

Most important, a grotesque display of patriarchal resentment. (New Yorker)

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Danielle on three things: “My grandparents always had a card table set up with a puzzle, and anytime someone stopped by they could work on it a bit. On holidays, they would host a ‘puzzle party’ and have multiple puzzles set up and people would hang out, eat and move from puzzle to puzzle. It was a nice way to chat with different family members without feeling small-talk pressure. My grandpa would modge-podge favorites and hang them on the wall.”

Says Elizabeth on parenting teenage girls: “It’s so hard for mothers to realize the self-contained world teens are in. My mother had grown up on a farm where the idea of treating teenagers as anything but a large child was unheard of. I lost my mom last year, but the hurt, confused look she wore during my teenage years will forever haunt me. One day, in the midst of it all, I came home to find a Seventeen magazine on my bed. ‘I just thought you’d like it,’ she said. This was utterly stunning to me — that she continued to care about me when I knew I was so difficult. I was too cool to show how much it meant, but it was everything. Best 50 cents anyone ever spent on me.”

(Photo by Hana Asbrink. Effort shock via Jocelyn Glei’s wonderful newsletter.)

  1. Angela says...

    We just started putting out puzzles this last holiday season. It was a perfect solution to help he introverts “hide” when they needed a break and the extroverts feel like they could stay as long as they like.

  2. I’ve been a daily reader for years, and I love this beautiful community. It would be incredible to see even more sustainable, responsible brands featured. This blog influences A LOT of purchases and consumer decisions, so it would be awesome to see that go to good companies.

  3. Kristine O. says...

    Love that beautiful floral blouse and just ordered it. So happy that Madewell has extended their size offerings! It’s still warm here in Northern California, and this will be the perfect early autumn top for our in-between season and for later with a big, oversized cardigan over….

  4. Nora says...

    I LOVE the article about Effort Shock. I’m definitely the kind of person that gets upset with myself if I’m not good at something right away and I do realize how illogical that is, but I really liked the checklist for overcoming that feeling: “You will need need: curiosity, kindness, stamina, and a willingness to look stupid”

  5. Very busy weekend for myself of Friday I had a amazing 3 part live where I displayed my jewelry.. On Satuday my church does some amazing things. We are a part of the share food program. We give out food to the community for those whom may be in need (in the Philadelphia area) I made some amazing baked fish(polluck) oh how I wish I had pictures. It was absolutely devine. for myself and my daughter. On Sunday I attended a wonderful service at my church and a surprise gathering for my first lady (It was her birthday) such a amazing time was had this weekend.

  6. S says...

    Regardless of one’s standing as democrat or republican, regardless of one’s thoughts on the Ford/Kavanaugh situation, the New Yorker article linked to here seems incredibly biased and opinion-driven.
    Won’t we be able to have a better dialogue if we can discuss events more factually?

    • Louisa says...

      I think, like a lot of women, I see Dr. Blasey as proxy for me. Kavanaugh as a proxy for my attackers. Congress as a litmus test: would I be taken seriously? would he own up to his crime? would I have reported it “correctly” or would it be an “unethical sham?” We are all interpreting this ink blot through our deeply wounded lives.

      As my bishop has said (of the ascension, but it applies here, too!): “Is this the way it happened? I don’t know; probably not. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” And of course (of course!) what really happened – what is true – matters deeply. But there’s a truth in this story for a lot of women -regardless of what “really” happened.

    • Sasha L says...

      Louisa, the last half of your comment, that this incident, how Dr Ford is treated, believed or not, is metaphor for all of our lives as wellness, is the single most brilliant thing I’ve read about this whole debacle. I think you’ve hit the nail precisely. For many of us, we literally don’t care *exactly* how or need undeniable definitive proof, because she IS us.

    • Amy says...

      I cannot agree more. We have to begin discussion on neutral ground!

    • Mama says...

      Yes, totally agree. I understand that a lot of women feel like Dr. Ford is a proxy for them, but that is just starting from the assumption that he did it. I went in to the hearing thinking he probably did, but with an open mind (sometimes women lie!), and I really have doubts right now. It’s not just he said/she said- the very little facts she gave were not corroborated by anyone she named as witness, including her friend; he has calendars from that summer that don’t show a gathering like that; he has statements from women across the political spectrum he’s known his whole life, including in high school, that say he has never acted like that in front of them; he was part of Ken Starr’s team that went after Clinton, so he was really looked into then, and nothing came up, etc, etc.

      I guess at the end of the day, I think if a single (suspiciously-timed) allegation of sexual assault can undo a man’s life (no, it’s not just about “job promotion” at this point, it is his life; his daughters will always be in crowds who think their dad is a would-be racist, the fathers of some of the girls’ basketball team he coaches don’t want him to coach anymore, etc etc), well, I fear for my sons.

    • Sara says...

      Completely agreed, S!

    • Ana says...

      Yes, definitely agree! I can understand why women feel a kinship with Ford, and want to see if her allegations are taken seriously as a proxy for their own wounds. But she is not a proxy, and Kavanaugh is not every woman’s attacker: she is a person. He is a person. And he is a person who might be innocent. It is dangerous to our society, to our men, to put all our hurt and rage against a real man who has quite a bit of evidence to his innocence. I fear for my sons if this is the society we are creating, in which an accusation, denied by the supposed witnesses, can destroy a mans life. If he is innocent, of course he’s angry.

      And note well: the accusation is being taken extremely seriously, even after its details have been failed to be corroborated by those named as witnesses. Her failure to remember details, like what year it even happened, is understood as part of trauma. We’ve come along way.

    • Rachel says...

      I really appreciate this comment thread. It’s been harrowing to watch everyone jump on their respective bandwagons with such fervor. Since when do we automatically presume guilt? Both sides of the political divide are responsible for turning this into a total shit show.

      It was gut wrenching to listen to both of their testimonies. I’m fortunate to have not experienced a sexual assault (beyond a handsy kid slapping my ass on the school bus), so maybe it’s that I don’t directly relate to her experience.

      But to echo what a couple of other people have said, it’s a sad world for the good men in our lives that we are creating a culture where every accusation is immediately taken as a fact. Regardless of the way that so many women (sadly) relate to Dr. Ford’s experience, it doesn’t mean that every single man accused is guilty. As a feminist, I feel like I haven’t had a safe place to say “I don’t know what happened!”. If I don’t automatically praise Ford and condemn Kavanaugh then I’m labeled as a conservative anti-feminist hater.

  7. cnm says...

    Love Misty Copeland!

  8. cnm says...

    The New Yorker article is just another display of prejudicial bias that defies common sense.

  9. Rebecca says...

    Restful weekend indeed! I am home with a terrible cold and these links are very helpful while I am in bed with my coffee.

    Hope you and your family is well Joanne!

  10. NB says...

    The piece on Effort shock reminded me of something brilliant I heard Philip Seymour Hoffman say in an interview once: “And you’re gonna have to have the will to fail and look like an ass and probably be bad and all these things in front of people. You’re gonna have to actually do that in order to be good. You’re gonna have to go in and start humiliating yourself sometimes, right there, in front of people, in order to get to the good stuff.”

    He was a light.

  11. M says...

    Bookmarks is one of my favorite sites for finding books to read! Thanks for sharing.

  12. Jennifer says...

    Whenever my husband is out of town or goes out with friends for dinner, I make risotto for myself and myself alone. Paired with an episode of Gilmore Girls. Can’t wait to try this variation next time.

  13. Lynellen says...

    Thank you so much for posting the article on”geniuses making it look easy.” I’m a music professor at a university, a pianist and a church organist & choir director, and started piano lessons when I was six. I can’t tell you how often people who aren’t musicians express surprise that we practice every day throughout our lives. Most of us who are accomplished at musical performance, dance, sports, or other endeavors aren’t “geniuses;” regular study with a good teacher, combined with daily practice, will yield results for anyone … not the same results for everyone, but conscientious study and a well-thought-out daily practice routine is the way to make progress. Performing arts are a product of labor, not some magical mystery.

    • Liz says...

      Yes! I agree completely. I get so annoyed whenever someone tells me how “lucky” I am that I can do [x] well. I’m not lucky, it’s a ton of work! I have chosen to practice [x].

  14. Michelle says...

    In the last week of my pregnancy, I bought a murder mystery puzzle! You read a (cheesy) story and then have to assemble the puzzle without a picture. The finished product reveals the culprit! It was so fun. I imagined it would keep me busy in labor, but then of course my girl was 5 days late and we finished it long before, ha.

    • Megan says...

      Oh my goodness, this is exactly my cup of tea! I am currently pregnant with four weeks to go and I must find one of these puzzles!

  15. Erin says...

    You once posted an article which has as subject something like, “things I have done to avoid getting raped.” It was very impactful, because it was so relatable. It was also impactful because my husband, who is gentle, respectful towards women, and understanding of the concept of consent, did not relate! He didn’t get it all, and felt like it was a little over the top. I felt it to be very pragmatic. The division made it clear to me how different our paths have been, as male and female.

  16. Sasha L says...

    I’m not sure if that top picture is an apple pie, but I just made one and popped it in the oven and how fun to check in here and see PIE!!! Here’s the recipe in case you’d like to make one too: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/12682/apple-pie-by-grandma-ople/
    I do a few things to make this turn out perfectly: put my pie in freezer after I put the bottom crust in, while I slice apples and make the caramel. I add pinch of sea salt and a dash of vanilla and a good size sprinkle of cinnamon to the caramel after it boils. I brush some beaten egg on the bottom of the pie crust before I put in the apples. I bake the pie in a Pyrex pie plate, on top of a stainless steel cookie sheet. And finally, I just keep baking that sucker until the bottom is done, and sometimes that’s way longer than the recipe says. Unless the top is blackened, you’re ok! All of this fuss ensures no soggy bottom.

    The apples I used came from my dear friends’ tree, we visited last weekend for their wedding, Mrs and Mrs, and it was so much pure love one could hardly stand it. The smell of those apples on my kitchen counter is the only thing that got me through this week. Happy weekend everyone.

    • Roxana says...

      Your detailed description of baking your apple pie feels very therapeutic and joyful to me, especially in light of these last few very intense days.

      Thank you, and I hope you’re enjoying your pie :).

    • Sasha L says...

      Roxana, therapy indeed. The making, the smell while baking, the eating. It’s Monday and there is one piece left.

    • Rachel says...

      Sasha, Your comment has stayed with me for days. I’m baking this pie today exactly as you described it!

  17. Ceridwen says...

    Oh my goodness, Elizabeth’s comment made me cry. I had a similar experience when I was a teen and my mum bought me a vegetarian cookbook after I’d gone vego. I’d been so fierce about it and thought no one was taking me or my cause seriously; my mum quietly bought me that book and it meant so much especially from her because she didn’t indulge our furious stomping about “teenage” phases. She really showed she listened and supported me.
    Also Joanne, I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy the quietness and lovely actions of baking.

    • Courtney says...

      Ceridwen,
      I had a very similar experience with my grandfather. He was a father of the 50s who ate meat and potatoes for every meal. I went vegetarian and at a family cookout became very upset since no one seemed worried if I had anything to eat. In moment, he told me to deal with it but then I received my first issue to a vegetarian magazine a few weeks later. How he even found it amazed me and the gesture meant the world to me. ❤️

  18. Daisy says...

    I just happened to read the text of the talk by your sister at the International Lung Conference that just concluded at Toronto. We have been going through rough spots and it was inspiring to read that.

  19. Meg says...

    My grandparents toooo! I actually broke a puzzle out at home a couple weeks ago because I was feeling a bit distant from my teen and was hoping for some unpressured fun and conversation – did the trick! Puzzles FTW!