Have a Restful Weekend.

Louisa, the last half of your comment, that this incident, how Dr Ford is treated, believed or not, is metaphor for all of our lives as wellness, is the single most brilliant thing I’ve read about this whole debacle. I think you’ve hit the nail precisely. For many of us, we literally don’t care *exactly* how or need undeniable definitive proof, because she IS us.

Yes, totally agree. I understand that a lot of women feel like Dr. Ford is a proxy for them, but that is just starting from the assumption that he did it. I went in to the hearing thinking he probably did, but with an open mind (sometimes women lie!), and I really have doubts right now. It’s not just he said/she said- the very little facts she gave were not corroborated by anyone she named as witness, including her friend; he has calendars from that summer that don’t show a gathering like that; he has statements from women across the political spectrum he’s known his whole life, including in high school, that say he has never acted like that in front of them; he was part of Ken Starr’s team that went after Clinton, so he was really looked into then, and nothing came up, etc, etc.

I guess at the end of the day, I think if a single (suspiciously-timed) allegation of sexual assault can undo a man’s life (no, it’s not just about “job promotion” at this point, it is his life; his daughters will always be in crowds who think their dad is a would-be racist, the fathers of some of the girls’ basketball team he coaches don’t want him to coach anymore, etc etc), well, I fear for my sons.

Yes, definitely agree! I can understand why women feel a kinship with Ford, and want to see if her allegations are taken seriously as a proxy for their own wounds. But she is not a proxy, and Kavanaugh is not every woman’s attacker: she is a person. He is a person. And he is a person who might be innocent. It is dangerous to our society, to our men, to put all our hurt and rage against a real man who has quite a bit of evidence to his innocence. I fear for my sons if this is the society we are creating, in which an accusation, denied by the supposed witnesses, can destroy a mans life. If he is innocent, of course he’s angry.

And note well: the accusation is being taken extremely seriously, even after its details have been failed to be corroborated by those named as witnesses. Her failure to remember details, like what year it even happened, is understood as part of trauma. We’ve come along way.