Design

Have a Good Weekend.

What are your plans this weekend? We’re relaxing tonight (and I’m painting my nails my go-to summer color), but on Saturday afternoon, Toby and Anton are helping host a bake sale to raise money for RAICES and the ACLU. We’ll be outside Books Are Magic from 12 to 2 p.m. Please come by! If you’d like to do something similar, Stand for Kids is a great place to start. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few posts from around the web…

A grieving 94-year-old widower puts a pool in his backyard for neighborhood kids. Sweetest story.

Who’s in the mood for peanut butter and jelly pie?

A warm, beautiful home in Copenhagen.

Finally found a drugstore volume shampoo that really works.

The best hangover cure.

Storq Maternity’s replaced models with women who are actually pregnant and postpartum.

What your favorite classic rock band says about you.

I’ve heard rave reviews of the show Motherland (which was co-written by Sharon Horgan of Catastrophe fame!). Have you seen it?

One family’s guide to weekend trips from NYC.

Rainbows.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Julie on 15 great reader comments on sex: “I was a virgin until I was 29 and started dating my now husband. My lack of experience slightly embarrassed me, and I didn’t know how to broach the subject. After getting hot and heavy, I decided to blurt out ‘Wait, I’m a virgin!’ When the shocked look left his face, he hugged me and said, ‘I wish I had known, I would have planned a more romantic encounter!’ We laughed our heads off and made plans for that Friday to make it special.”

Says Cailin on the border crisis: “I once heard a story about the Maasai tribe in Africa who would greet each other with ‘Kasserian Ingera,’ meaning, ‘And how are the children?’ stemming from the belief that if the children, the youngest and most vulnerable, are not well then the entire tribe is not well. I keep thinking of this and how we could answer if we were asked today.”

Thank you again for everything this week. xo

(Photo by Olivia Rae James. Pool story via Swissmiss.)

  1. Carolyn says...

    Thank you for linking to the Storq story! Co-founder Grace Kapin and I were roommates our freshman year of college, but lost touch before graduation. So cool to see that (of course) she went on to do something amazing!

  2. Britney says...

    OMG does it take you 1,000 coats of the Essie polish to make your nails look pretty? I have that color at home and it’s so lack-luster with just 1-2 coats! What am I doing wrong? :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i do 2 or 3 coats, and i really like how that looks. have you tried 3 coats? are you looking for a more opaque color? i also love a classic red, which might be a better fit if you want something that pops! :)

    • Claire says...

      for my next pedicure I am planning to do a pale, pale pink with a layer of rose gold glitter.

  3. G says...

    I disagree that they are “skinny-shaming”. They are choosing to visually represent pregnant women of all shapes and sizes instead of *only* six foot, thin pregnant women, which is what most clothing companies show us. The fact that only one body type has been consistently represented in fashion modeling is shameful in itself. I don’t personally have anything against that body type, I’m 5’8 and 127 lbs myself, so on the taller and thinner side, but to hear people complain when they’ve only ever been the ones represented in fashion is a bit much.

  4. Lisa says...

    I haven’t watched Motherland, but would highly recommend “The Letdown” (which is available on Netflix in the UK, not sure about the US) unless you haven’t had a baby (particularly if you’re pregnant, RUN AWAY). My second is now 7 months old, and apart from the movie Tully, it’s the most accurate depiction I’ve seen of early parenthood, and it’s SO funny. My husband could only last about ten minutes because it was too real for him. I watched the whole thing in a couple of days.

    • Maria says...

      I was going to write exactly that! ‘The Letdown’ is an amazing show for life with a baby.
      “particularly if you’re pregnant, RUN AWAY” hahahahahahaha so true! The sleep training episode was too real indeed. I identified so much I was almost crying.
      I’ll look for the Tully movie. :)

  5. COLLEEN ANN WENOS says...

    I’m going to try the Burt’s Bees shampoo. Thanks.

  6. Cassandra says...

    If you like Essie Ballet Slippers you should try OPI Bubble Bath. It’s in the same pale pink family but with a touch more warmth than Ballet Slippers. I am convinced it’s the *perfect* nail color!

  7. Rika says...

    I am heartened to see the Stand for Kids and applaud every parent (grandparents, aunts, uncles,…) who participates. But, I also struggle with how much I expose my daughter to the news (she’s almost 5). How much do and your readers tell your children about the separation of families? At this point, I try to keep my daughter as oblivious as possible, but I plan to take her to the march next week. She’s been to and still remembers the Women’s March and she will definitely ask many questions.

  8. In addition to Stand For Kids, I would love to plug talentpledge.org. It is a website where you can turn any activity, interest or talent into a simple fundraiser to raise money for any US-registered nonprofit. You can fundraise for the ACLU, The Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights and many other nonprofits. (You can always request to have a registered nonprofit added if you don’t see them too.) It’s a welcoming community of women who are standing up for injustices around the world in various ways.

  9. Ann says...

    Motherland is so good and even thought of recommending it to you as I knew you liked Catastrophe and Fleabag. It’s cringey, but in the best way!

  10. Shannon criscola says...

    “What your favorite rock band says about you” parts 1 and 2, is the the funniest thing ever. ?

  11. Rosie says...

    I have a 5yr old and 20m year old. My daughter knows about trump and randomly says he’s mean and she doesn’t like him. But we’ve always talked about him and his policies in general terms more or less. Talking about separating families seems really scary to talk about with kids but at the same time I want to teach my kids to be civically minded and active in the resistance. They have marched plenty, we read progressive books about female leadership, refugees Etc. but I’m wondering how you (and your readers) have had meaningful conversations with A And T about Trump and his policies.

  12. Cynthia says...

    I agree. A touching story.

  13. Mandy says...

    Oh how hard that last comment hits. It leaves you teary-eyed and yet still hopeful.

    • Susan says...

      I agree.

  14. Alice says...

    While watching this family separation crisis from afar (I live in Europe), besides having a panic attack every time I inadvertently see a photo or headline, because I can’t help but putting myself in the place of those people and nothing could be worse that have my children taken away from me to be mistreated, I can’t help thinking about the people enforcing this practice. Who are they? How can they take a toddler and put him in a cage while screaming for his mother? Don’t they have children themselves? And how can they go home to their children knowing what they have done that day?
    It makes me think about the holocaust, because that’s exactly what happened: everyone was just following orders, abiding the “law”.
    It’s not about the horrible people that create the law, it’s about the people on the field enforcing it. They are the ones making this horror possible.
    I find this lack of conscience, in the 21st century and with all the historic records we have access to, very alarming.

    • sasha says...

      Alice, I have been thinking the same.

      I heard a story recently that recounted an allied soldier liberating a concentration camp. He found a photo of the SS soldier’s family, just a normal family portrait, right next to the window into the gas chamber, where he watched countless Innocents die. It was his workplace. So he hung a photo. Is this America???? What have we become?

      If every ICE officer refused to do this job, the policy could not be enacted. There HAVE to be good people there, what can we do to help them stand up? If enough stood up things would change.

  15. Lainey says...

    Motherland is fantastic! The first couple of episodes made me cringe a little – those scenes that make you shout “Nooo, don’t do it!” at the TV because you can see how it’s going to turn out – but it gets funnier and funnier as it goes along. The humour is very “British” so I’d be really interested to see how it comes across in the US.

  16. Heather says...

    Hello! Thank you soooo much for sharing about having a lemonade stand (I really loved when I read the post about the one you did with your kids awhile back!) I was just looking up the info on the #standforkids website–can you tell me how/where to find the ‘local rules’ for hosting one in NYC? Do you know if I could just go for it anywhere?! And thank you so much for all the information you have been sharing–the update I read about donations for the children who are now in East Harlem brought me tears of joy this afternoon and some hope that if we keep fighting, these families may get to be reunited. xx

  17. Elise says...

    Motherland is brutal. I can’t stand any of the characters, and painfully cringe the whole time… which is what makes it so amazingly brilliant. I watched the whole series in one sitting!

  18. Emily says...

    I’m so glad you shared the story of the neighborhood pool. The story ran here in MN a while back. Also check out in the “10,000 Stories” series about Erling and Emmett. The journalist’s stories always provide me with hope for our future.

  19. Kat says...

    The story of the widower just made my day. What a beautiful heart!

    • Laura C. says...

      I just thought of my beloved grandparents. I love grandparents and elder people, they are a treasure.

  20. K says...

    I love the storq article. I also hear the perspective in some of the comments about “skinny shaming”. Perhaps part of the problem here is that we are coming from a historical place of only skinny models and skinny women having “value” and as a society we are trying to show that rounder/ broader/ softer women do too…
    I don’t think the intention was to “skinny shame” but to be much more inclusive. I don’t know the statistics but I think the percentage of “I swallowed a basketball” pregnant women is probably VERY low compared to the “regular” gain weight everywhere and not 6 ft tall preggers, and if we are trying to have representative models then many more of them need to be more average.
    Another perspective is that a huge difference btwren the shots are “glamour preggo” vs “I’m sitting on the floor in my nursing bra with my baby”.
    I wonder how different the reactions would be if the photo shoots were more apples to apples but with more size inclusion.
    I have noticed that as a 5’2, 130lb woman (after two babies, still nursing one), that I am actually noticing that I feel different (better) when I look at size inclusive models. Recently I was looking at the Athleta catalog and saw a plus size model sporting a bikini. It’s crazy but it takes my brain a minute to adjust to how she looks compared to what I’m used to. While I’m not plus size, my body shape and height make clothes fit me more similarly to the plus size models than the regular models.. and it was a big mind shift to say to myself “that’s how that bikini might look on you” and actually feel ok about it.
    I don’t think Storq was trying to exclude anyone but I think the people who are naturally thin perhaps don’t realize how hard it is not to have representation of how the rest of us look in 98% of the ads we see.

    • sasha says...

      There are so many benefits to being thin, it really won’t hurt to have to look at other sized women in ads a bit. If you are thin, everywhere you turn you see women applauded for being thin, held up as the ideal of not only beauty, but also health and virtue. Models look like you, celebrities, royalty. Clothes fit just fine, and you can shop anywhere. No one questions what you eat or how fit you are, it’s taken for granted you are doing it *right* (you may have an eating disorder and be very unfit in fact). Seriously, there is no penalty. Skinny shaming as a concept just doesn’t make sense to me. If anything, seeing more diversity should help us all feel better about our size and beauty and relieve pressure that there is one way to be beautiful. (From a person who is 5’6″, 125, and genetically thin.)

  21. Elizabeth says...

    I’m 17 weeks pregnant and just splurged on maternity clothes (SO READY), and I’m so thrilled that I decided to spend the bulk of my money at Storq. I hear what others are saying about skinny-shaming, and I agree that their phrasing is maybe less than ideal; to me this is an important step forward nonetheless though because the *vast vast majority* of maternity brands still do feature tall, thin pregnant models. I’m so relieved to have, like, one single great place where I can see my body type represented. It matters a lot to see representation when you are not a part of the socially normalized group (aka, in our culture, tall and skinny). So, so thrilled and can’t wait to wear my Storq gear!!

  22. Lesley says...

    That second comment. Feeling so many emotions. Thank you

  23. Renee says...

    When I read the story about the 94 y.o widower it restored my faith in humanity. Glad he is a little less lonely now.

    • Cynthia says...

      I agree. A touching story.

    • Isabelle says...

      Love, love, love!

  24. Sandra says...

    Yes, I highly recommend Motherland! I’ve been struggling with parenthood a little bit lately, and mom-coms have been really comforting. I only wish there were more episodes!

    • Elise says...

      I totally second the recommendation! As with everything Sharon Horgan does (she is my ultimate girl crush), it is brutally honest. More brutally so, even, than Catastrophe, about the social demands of middle class motherhood — to the point of dark satire, sometimes.

  25. Laura says...

    I LOVE that Storq has started using actual pregnant women as their models! Honestly, it makes me 1000% more likely to actually buy something from them. I don’t mean that in an elitist “they should use real women” (because all women are real women) kind of way. But, when I see a 6 foot tall model with a fake belly in a maternity dress, I have literally no idea what that dress will look like on my pregnant 5’4″ frame. It’s so nice to be able to say, “ooh! that lady is built like me and that dress looks great on her!”

  26. Kirsten says...

    Julie’s comment made me chuckle, because I had a similar situation with my husband…except he was the virgin! Granted, we were more like 23, but I had no idea and he was too embarrassed to tell me until the very last second. I felt so bad! I certainly hadn’t thought to ask, and he was (unnecessarily) mortified that he didn’t have experience. Never easy, I’m sure, but I can imagine the cultural shame around virginity is so much harder for guys to deal with given our crazy cultural expectations for them.

  27. Sarah says...

    Oh, wow. The reader comment about the Maasai greeting really got me right in the gut :(

  28. Sierra says...

    Hmmm…. what if you’re 6 ft tall, skinny as a string bean and six months pregnant? Sad to think that my body is “off putting.”

    • Escondista says...

      Oh that was a hurtful comment. I think they mostly meant women who are not pregnant.
      Congratulations on your pregnancy… I’m sure you are beautiful inside and out and would look great in a magazine maternity spread!

  29. Allie says...

    Hey Jo, the Storq article says that the model from the 2014 campaign was actually pregnant “but pregnant in a way that only models can look pregnant, looking like she had swallowed a basketball.”

    A paragraph later, “Storq is replacing every single photo on its website with images of real women who are pregnant, postpartum or nursing.”

    Sounds an awful lot like skinny-shaming, which is so, so tiring to combat. (Was the model not a real, pregnant woman too? Am I not a real woman or am I excluded from the pregnant club because I haven’t ballooned up?)

    This type of inclusion is really just a veiled form of exclusion of a group that’s easy to dismiss for not being “real mom” enough.

    • Bec says...

      I hear you! The reason I bought Storq maternity wear when I was pregnant was because they were one of the only brands I could find doing a bra in my #ittybittytittycommitee size. It was nice seeing women that looked like me, or you know a highly styled version of me with good lipstick application! I love that they’ve made their branding more diverse to celebrate the full beauty of the female body but Yeah my body type exists too!!

    • G says...

      I feel like there is a comparison to be made here to when white males complain about diversity. Tall, thin women have been at the top seat of modern fashion modeling since it began, to the exclusion of all other body types. That body type has been the ideal in fashion (and thus mainstream culture) for decades upon decades. Now other body types are starting to be represented, as they should. 6 ft, thin women have been the ideal, so you see your body type represented EVERYWHERE in fashion, despite the fact that this body type is not the norm. Other women deserve to finally see their body types represented in fashion. Your body type has been worshipped by our society for years, it’s time to let other body types get some glory.

    • april says...

      I agree. Let’s just let women look how they look. Skinny-shaming is just as bad and isolating as fat-shaming.

    • Carol says...

      In response to G, more inclusive images are fantastic, but they could have said that they wanted to represent more body shapes without implying that the skinny model is somehow wrong and not a ‘real’ woman. Society’s version of an ‘ideal’ body shape has changed throughout time – from the boyish silhouette of the 1920s, to hourglass in the 50s, to the waif look of the 90s, and now, if you look at Instagram, we’re apparently all supposed to have sculpted abs and super perky muscular butts. It would be great if the images we see in the media could represent a variety of body types all the time, without implying that any one type is the only ‘real woman’. Even though most media images do more closely reflect them, naturally tall, thin women can also be made to feel they are too this and not enough that.

    • Bec says...

      I don’t think that’s true…re it being the same as white men. Being tall and skinny doesn’t necessarily lead to a position of power and privilege and no one in the conversation has suggested that there shouldn’t be diversity of body types in fashion or that Storq’s new campaign shouldn’t be celebrated.
      The comments were more related to the idea that being skinny, tall and pregnant was somehow not possible or unrealistic. We don’t need to undermine one body type to achieve diversity.
      My comment was personally in relation to how hard I found it to find a maternity bra for my small boobs, which remained on the small side through pregnancy and breast feeding as if somehow when you’re pregnant every woman goes to a c cup…so even though a certain body type is dominant in fashion this doesn’t always translate to finding clothes that fit a particular frame..,I think most women face this dilemma regardless of body shape/size at some point in their lives.
      I don’t think we need to start attacking each other either as is it not the male gaze that has dictated the shapes of fashion models and desirability for so long?

    • sasha says...

      Such a great discussion.

      I do think our society rewards skinny women. And seeing more diversity is so wonderful. Perhaps the thorn in this article wasn’t about inclusion or increasing diversity, but about implying that the actually pregnant model wasn’t *real*? We are all real. Personally I would love to see the clothes that I am contemplating purchasing shown on a variety of body types, so that I can imagine what they’ll look like on me, and other women can too. Since we come in lots of shapes and sizes, let’s have models that reflect that too. And let’s see the beauty in all of us.