Design

Have a Good Weekend.

Eggs

What are you up to this weekend? We might go to Rockaway Beach to feel the wind in our hair and the sand in our toes.

More important, we’ll be posting much more about this on Monday, but children are being ripped from their parents while attempting to cross into the U.S. AND THIS MUST BE STOPPED. Here are a few ways to help, and we made company donations to The Florence Project and RAICES. Meanwhile, let’s all be extra kind this weekend, and here are a few links from around the web…

A beautiful post about a family lunch.

Anton and I made this strawberry cake the other day and it was delicious.

The 25 best heist movies of all time.

Mister Rogers fixed old shows that he thought were wrong. Love this.

Eating like an astronaut means kimchi for Koreans and lasagna for Italians.

Digging this ’70s-style shirt.

Wow, look at these views!

A joyous wedding that was all about family.

In praise of an afternoon at the movies.

Plus, two great reader comments…

Says Amy on a funny thing that happens in relationships: “The other night, I said to my husband, ‘Do I look like someone familiar?’ He frowned and looked me over — then laughed and took a photo. I’m slowly turning into him and his tragic home uniform: sweater, sweatpants, ankle socks and Adidas slides. Send help.”

Says Alyssa on pretty signet rings: “I wear a signet ring that’s uniquely blank. My husband found it at a vintage market right after I miscarried our first baby. We thought the symbolism of a space held empty for the baby without a name was poignant and sweet. I have cherished it ever since.”

Thank you so much for being here. xoxo

(Photo by Brooke Fitts.)

  1. Janille says...

    Thank you for this post. I felt the same way over the weekend (heartsick for those families), but the truth is I probably wouldn’t have done anything if you hadn’t made it so easy. Thanks for putting together a call to action. Just made a donation to RAICES, and am praying for those babies and their parents. It’s a dark world and this kind of news can be crippling. Thanks for calling me out of my paralysis.

  2. Janille says...

    Thank you for this post. I felt the same way over the weekend (heartsick for those families), but the truth is I probably wouldn’t have done anything if you hadn’t made it so easy. Thanks for putting together a call to action. Just made a donation to RAICES, and am praying for those babies and their parents. It’s a dark world and this kind of news can be crippling. Thanks for shaking me out of my paralysis.

  3. Kelli says...

    Joanna, I just wanted to give you a HUGE shout out for always making your points so eloquently, so thoroughly, and always without spewing vile or hatred. Reading through (the small minority!) of misinformed or blatantly uneducated posts on this piece makes me want to pull out my hair and scream and curse and call people names. But you fight with facts, not venom- I truly admire that and will try to do the same as we work together to fight the heinous atrocities being committed at our border.

  4. Kara says...

    Thank you for highlighting what’s going on at our borders and using your large platform as a voice for those who do not have one! I’m sad to see a small amount of comments defending these horrific actions but am hopeful that because they are active in the Cup of Jo community they can be educated on reality and have a change of heart. This continues to be my favorite place on the internet. ?

  5. em says...

    thank you for shedding light on an issue that deserves our full attention. just made a donation to RAICES. i’m looking forward to more posts like this, and appreciate you connecting us to organizations that are doing hard, but very important work

  6. Sally says...

    I’m curious why there hasn’t been a post yet today and why there wasn’t an earlier post (the Mari cartoon!) on Friday. I look forward to the blog updates everyday!

  7. Lisa says...

    This border issue is heart breaking. I can’t see how anyone with an ounce of humanity can think it’s good government policy. I think it’s partly because anti immigrant rhetoric in so many countries has become so harsh, people have started to see immigrants as sub human (I’m an immigrant to the UK from one of those “shithole” countries as trump called them). I lie here with my babies snoring near me and can’t even imagine having us separated from each other. It tears apart my heart to even think of it. and a purely legal standpoint it doesn’t make sense – you’re punishing the children for an act, legal or not, that they have no control over.

    On a lighter note, I made a non dairy version of the strawberry cake (replacing butter with olive oil and milk with coconut milk). It was so quick to make, and really delicious.

  8. Liz says...

    Thank you for bringing attention to such a horrible policy. I can’t believe there are people that actually defend it.

  9. Amanda says...

    Edie,

    It is always important to see both sides to these equations as the division between left and right grows deeper in the U.S. The National Review is a staunchly conservative publication that has been widely known to have promoted the Obama “birther conspiracy” and has suggested that climate change is false by intentionally manipulating temperature graphs to make them deceptive, so any information it decided to give out is inevitably slanted towards a certain way of thinking.

    On the other hand, the Texas Monthly seems to be a well-regarded Texas publication of which about one out of every seven Texas adults reads. While it may trend towards a progressive viewpoint, it has not appeared to have participated in the intentional spread of false information in it’s history. I encourage you to get out and examine both sides of the story rather than finding publications from organizations that make you feel comfortable. Especially because this situation should be making people highly UNcomfortable.

    And with that being said, I feel absolutely sickened that people feel the need to stand up for this treatment of immigrants/asylum-seekers and their children. It is clear to me that we as a country need a healthy dose of imagining ourselves in less fortunate shoes. Also, as history has proven, the unwillingness to speak out against the dehumanization of people who are not like us has horrific consequences.

  10. Liz says...

    Thank you for this post Joanna….My heart is breaking thinking about how our country can be so cruel. I can’t imagine how someone can justify this treatment. Anyone should be outraged by this policy, more so if you’re a parent. This administration has no morals.

  11. Amanda says...

    Joanna, thank you so much for giving this horrific reality a signal boost! I feel like I don’t recognize our country so often lately. How can anyone separate child and parent and then expect a child to navigate our immigration system when most American adults don’t even understand it? Seeking asylum is not a crime. Where is our humanity?

    Also shout-out to your girl, Gemma, who has been putting us on blast with her Instagram stories about this horrid policy this week and last!

    • RIGHT?! Gemma ftw

  12. Lynn says...

    This executive branch will do ANYTHING to keep us from talking about the Russia investigation and all the legal trouble Trump is in. True supervillians.

    • Becky says...

      Where is the like button on this comment?! Actually love it. So true!

  13. Anny says...

    To Joanna and the COJ team:
    Thanks for your very strong words on this issue. I’ve been reading Joanna’s work since the Glamour days, and I actually blinked at the all-caps statement since I’ve never seen anything so forceful or “political” (as if this is a partisan issue) as daring to state that separating children from their parents is unacceptable. I happen to bleed blue and this site serves as a bit of escapism, but I’m so thrilled that you’ve taken a stand on this at the risk of alienating readers.

  14. Alexis Creer says...

    My friends and I are gathering letters to representatives in protest of the separation of families at the U.S. border. We’ll take care of all printing and the letters will be hand-delivered to Congress this week. If you’d like to submit a letter, please email stopborderseparations@gmail.com. by Wednesday morning. We’re hoping to deliver hundreds of letters with representation from every state!

  15. Amber J says...

    That is so beautiful about the blank signet ring. So meaningful.

    A PS – I love these Weekend posts and look forward to them every Friday (if it’s posted before I leave work) or Monday (because it’s usually posted after I leave work Friday). And I loved seeing Mari’s work every Friday morning – where has she gone?

    xoxo

  16. Maria says...

    Here in Europe, we are in shock of hearing about the way these families are being treated. It’s absurd reading about this happening in a modern and (formerly) progressive country. I truly hope your voices are being heard!

  17. Sanaa Murray says...

    Joanna, I’ve wanted to post this before (perhaps I have) but I feel like almost weekly you read my heart and mind and write posts just for me. I came here today to email you to plead for you to write something about the children being ripped away from their parents, about RAICES and other resources and lo and behold you already did it. Bless you, you getting the word out to your amazing network of readers is going to create tangible good (funding for reps and attorneys for this kids and families now, God willing an END to this horror ASAP).

  18. Katie says...

    Thank you for being so vocal about the families at the border. Reading the comments from people who support the separation has left me a little sick to my stomach. I truly can’t understand how people can justify this in their minds and hearts. It has left me a bit untethered that people like me (at least similar enough to read the same blog) can have these thoughts. Sigh.

    • A says...

      I feel the same way. Joanna, I don’t know how you find the grace to respond to those people with calm and civility. It’s an unjustifiable sickening policy. I’m losing sleep over it even here in the UK. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be an ordinary compassionate American right now.

  19. Melissa says...

    Thank you so much for sharing thoughtful posts and comments on miscarriage. I am currently working through a missed miscarriage and immediately thought to read your post after getting the news. A blank signet ring also feels so fitting.

    • Mary says...

      Hi Melissa,

      I’m going through a missed miscarriage, too. Just wanted to reach out, in case, like me, you’re feeling isolated and a bit in turmoil. Sending love over the airwaves.

  20. I am over here at my desk, eagerly (frantically?) refreshing my screen, waiting for your immigration post. I have never felt more like an animal than I do when I think about someone taking my two year old son from my line of sight against my will. I cannot believe this is happening. I have to do something.

    • Ana Cortez says...

      My daughter is almost two. This is causing me nightmares, it’s unbearable to take in that this is happening in the US in 2018.

    • Amy says...

      Same here. I’ve never experienced such a physical reaction to reading the news–with every article this past weekend, I teared up and felt like vomiting. Following this comments section really helped get me through it and find the resolve to say, ok, I’m done crying, now let’s go to work, we can’t stand by and let this continue.

  21. alexis says...

    Thank you so much for posting about the family separations. One mother had her baby taken out of her arms as she was nursing her. It is truly horrific. In addition to donating to organizations that are helping people on the ground, folks can also call their senators and ask them to cosponsor the Keep Families Together Act, which would stop the use of family separation as a deterrent.

  22. I made the strawberry cake for my Dad & Father-in-law yesterday and they loved it! Thanks for sharing :)

  23. Rachel says...

    Over the weekend I visited the Manchester Art Gallery. There was a wonderful exhibition of works by Annie Swynnerton (the first woman elected to be a member of the Royal Academy of Arts). I highly recommend her artwork, but in addition when I saw this painting of hers I immediately thought of Toby and Anton! The likeness is uncanny:

    https://www.artuk.org/discover/artworks/geoffrey-and-christopher-herringham-12905

  24. Gabriela says...

    The arguments “for” separating minors from their parents at our borders generally fall into 3 categories:

    1. “Do the crime, do the time”-type arguments. First, crossing the border illegally is a MISDEMEANOR. Imagine a world in which children could be separated from their parents indefinitely because the parent was driving carelessly or without a valid license, shoplifted a carton of milk, or was gambling. You could use this argument to justify killing people who committed even the most minor crimes – hey, if you didn’t want to die, you shouldn’t have driven carelessly. Second, these people are seeking asylum (which is a legal way to obtain status in the US). That means they are fleeing violence – rape, torture or murder of them or their children that will occur if they remain in their home country. You cannot ignore this element of “the crime” when determining if the punishment fits the crime.

    2. “I am an immigrant who entered the country legally (and waited to do so), so they should wait too”-type arguments. This argument ignores the fact that these migrants don’t have time to wait. If they wait, they or their children are likely to be raped, murdered, or tortured. I don’t think there is a parent among us who would put such abstractions as “sovereignty” and “respect for a nation” above the physical safety of our children and our continued presence in their lives.

    3. Obama did it too-type arguments. Classic whataboutism. Even if this were true, it would not make these actions less wrong, or diminish the urgent need to end this practice immediately and forever.

    Looking forward to your posts tomorrow. I admire your gentle refrain, that if people really knew what is happening, every American would be trying to stop it. I don’t know if I share your faith in Americans at this moment, but I truly hope you’re right.

    • Em says...

      Can someone tell me (without pushing their or their party’s agenda) why adults are held at all?

    • Kara says...

      Thank you for this comment! I have such a hard time articulating effective responses to people’s arguments “for”…copying and saving.

    • Mb says...

      In reply to EM, the adults are held while they do checks on them. For someone to be granted asylum there has to be credible danger. They do interviews and background checks. Unfortunately, there is a huge backlog of these cases as there are very few judges that deal with these issues. That means the process takes from 4 weeks to various months.

    • Em says...

      Thanks, MB! You summed up in a couple sentences what I couldn’t find in various articles!

  25. Annie says...

    Oh my gosh, the empty signet ring. Love that. As part of that shitty miscarriage club that nobody wants to be in, such a beautiful gesture really touched me.

  26. Thank you so much for coming out on the subject of migrants and their children! This is such an important topic and we all need to know what’s happening here!

  27. Davina says...

    Thank you for posting about the horrific immigration policy of family separation. I was hoping you would shine a light on this issue.

    It’s been weighing heavily on my heart, and enraging me every time I see some weak, equivocating, dishonest defence of it (session’s Bible verse, Melania pretending that Democrats are partly to blame etc.)

    This policy is 100% unacceptable and barbarous. The fact that it’s still going on right now is an outrage. How people can defend innocent children being ripped from their parents is beyond me. Do you have no compassion or humanity at all?

    To those saying: but their parents broke the law! Breaking the law has consequences!

    I say this: how is it right to enact punishment on the children of those who may or may not have broken the law? (Some are asylum seekers and thus have broke no law whatsoever, which is a point that seems to go over many people’s heads).

    This would be like saying that your children should be punished on your behalf. Overdue parking tickets? Tax evasion? Broken tail light? It’s not just you who will pay the price, but your kids too! Let’s suspend them from school for a week or haul them into juvie. For murderers and rapists, let’s take their kids and put them into cages, away from their friends, family and community. Let’s make their lives a living hell. Don’t like it? Well, you shouldn’t have committed the crime!

    Does that seem fair or right? No? Well, it’s this country’s policy of “deterrence” that’s being applied to the children of refugees and asylum seekers – before their cases have even been examined and deemed legitimate or not.

    And another thing for those who would defend this policy of forced family separation: there are laws and then there are morals. It was less than 60 years ago when Jim Crow was the law of the land, and only 51 years ago when interracial marriage was illegal. These were laws, and yet we can look back on them now and see that they were unequivocally wrong. Just because something is a law does not mean that it is right or just or carved in stone. Laws can be changed and amended. It is an important aspect of the justice system.

    I can’t believe the country that we’ve become in the last two years. it’s shocking, dispiriting and morally reprehensible. For those looking for a change, please VOTE in November. This barbarism cannot continue.

    • Wendy says...

      Beautifully expressed. “There are laws and then there are morals” – that’s it exactly!

  28. Whitney says...

    Thank you for the recommendations, I wanted to help but wasn’t sure where to start- I’ve donated to both Raices and the Florence Project. ?

  29. Shannon says...

    I know it’s different in many ways, but this whole situation reminds me of the Holocaust.

    • Neha says...

      Yes, because no one can remove children from their parents without dehumanising all of them! It is terrifying!!

  30. DR says...

    Our President is literally letting this happen because he’s trying to force the Democrats to fund building the wall for him, the wall he insisted that Mexico would pay for. It’s so evil and that anyone would use Holy Scripture to defend such a thing is gripped in a delusion that is terrifying. We have to do everything we can to stop this, Trump supporters do not care that this is happening.

  31. jeannie says...

    I love that comment about Mr. Rogers!

  32. Oona says...

    This must be one of the kindest platforms on internet! I love how positive and sensitive the commenting section is. (This is really abnormal on internet!) Also your topics are so ”of real life” and I can relate to all of them. This really is a great community and nowadays my favorite part of the posts are reader comments, Im really glad you have included them in such a visible way.
    I noticed that this ”mean commenting” on internet cathes on really easy and I have found myself writing unpolite or harsh comments when there has been something on the internet which I haven’t liked or that has felt offensive in some way. But luckily on these occasitions I have sat back and thought ”would I like to have this comment sent to me, does my comment bring any real value to the reader”, and then I have deleated it.

  33. Miriam Henseler says...

    Just donated. Thanks for bringing this important topic up on your blog.

  34. Margaret says...

    Thank you for helping to bring the border family separation crisis to light. I recently finished reading a book about refugees that is so poignant for our time right now: The Newcomers, by Helen Thorpe. She follows 21 high school students- and some of their families- through their first school year in the U.S. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is looking to learn more about the lives of refugees who immigrate to the U.S. I was struck by the courage in each of their stories.

  35. Melissa says...

    Oh my, that strawberry cake is my new favourite recipe! I made it this afternoon for a BBQ, and it was perfect.

  36. Amy J says...

    Thank you so much for the donation ideas! I will be proudly making a donation in my dad’s name for his Father’s Day gift. What a horrifying atrocity our government is allowing.

  37. joy says...

    Thank you SO much for posting about the horrific family separation at the border. I have been hoping that you would, and I am glad that you will post again on Monday. You have an amazing platform here, and I appreciate that you choose carefully which public issues to engage in, but in a forum frequented by so many mothers, I think you absolutely made the right call to highlight this issue. Children are being tortured in our names, and it must stop.

  38. Laurie says...

    Thank you, cupofjo. Every year for Father’s Day (as well as Mother’s Day) we always struggle with gift ideas. We have so much and really don’t need anymore. A donation to one of these non-profits helping immigrant fathers and their families sounds like the best gift we can give.

  39. Shawn says...

    I love your blog Joanna but I disagree with you on the immigration issue. This is a land is laws. Children being “ripped” from their mothers would not be put through that trauma if their parents didn’t try to come here illegally. While I don’t relish the thought of separating families, it bears pointing out that families of prisoners who are American citizens are also separated everyday. Also there are an est 11,000 children brought across the border for child trafficking every year. This law was put in place by Obama and families were separated under his administration as well-yet I don’t recall seeing anyone protesting then. Your posts are usually heavily commented on but I notice the paucity of comments here and can’t help but wonder if I’m voicing an opinion that most are reticent to say for fear of sounding racist. And before that charge is lobbied at me I should state that I’m a legal immigrant from a third world country. It took my family years to go through the correct procedures as we were not wealthy or connected. But we respected this country too much to do it any other way.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much for your note. it actually only seems like a paucity of comments right now because we haven’t yet moderated (and approved) the comments that have come in since friday evening — since the CoJ office is closed over the weekend. there are so many answers to your comment that i’d love to share (these families are trying to seek asylum from rape/murder/etc, not trying to come here illegally; they’re being told at the borders that the bridges are closed or at capacity; the american government in the past has welcomed asylum seekers, the obama situation was completely different in so many ways, etc.)

      we’ll write more about it tomorrow, but in the meantime, this interview is very helpful, among many others online:
      https://www.texasmonthly.com/news/whats-really-happening-asylum-seeking-families-separated/

    • Diane says...

      Shawn, there is no possible way that the people fleeing with their children have access to a computer, the internet, Google and know how to research immigration law. They just don’t. They are fleeing here, ignorant of what consequences our President has now enforced, and he is using them to negotiate for the government funding a wall, ironically something he promised America would never have to fund. So it’s not an apples to apples comparison, here. Please at minimum, acknowledge that.

    • Lyra says...

      This law was not put in place by Obama. George W. Bush created the current immigration policy in which people who cross the border are charged with a federal crime of illegally entering the country. BOTH Bush and Obama deemed it unethical to separate children from their parents, and so parents who crossed the border with children were held in detention centers until they saw a judge. Our current president is the only one who is evil enough to separate children from their parents—sending the parents to be held in federal jails until they see a judge and sending the kids to either a ‘tent city’ or in some cases flown across the country to shelters. It is immoral and reprehensible that our government would do this to children. If law and order is the concern, the current administration could just as easily detain families together until they see a judge and their case is processed, either for deportation or asylum is granted.

    • kaye says...

      @shawn families were NOT separated by Obama. unaccompanied children were kept at the same center currently being used by Trump, BUT THEY WERE NOT TORN FROM THEIR PARENTS AND SEPARATED.

      I get it, because you did it “right” you think others need to as well–however, that sort of belief discounts the right of all humans to be safe. You are showing the very worst sort of thinking, and yeah–it is racist. it is time we call things what they are, if people are silent now, they are complicit. If people are advocating for the separation of families, they are inhumane, if people want to close the borders, they are nativists. Sadly, all three of those qualities are embodied by the current administration/his party.

    • Ellen says...

      “Children being “ripped” from their mothers would not be put through that trauma if their parents didn’t try to come here illegally. ”
      Hello, Shawn! This is actually not true- it is VERY important to know that families attempting to cross the border LEGALLY are also being separated as part of the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance” policy.

    • Paula says...

      Shaw-seeking asylum is not illegal.

    • NotGoingThereWithYou says...

      Yikes. Shawn, I doubt the integrity of this comment. Even if you are who you say you are, which I doubt, being a legal immigrant from a third world country neither exempts you from biases of your own or automatically makes you a reliable authority on this crisis. If you are serious about understanding the situation then maybe do some actual research. There is clearly a lot more to it than what you describe, and you may learn more by vetting some of the points you are putting forth. It sounds like you are cherry-picking select pieces of information you’ve heard elsewhere in an attempt to manipulate discussion. More to the point, suggesting that people secretly agree with you but won’t admit it because they don’t want to be labeled racist is weird. Similar tactics are used in social media all the time, intended to manipulate discussions, instigate dissent, and pit people against each other. Hopefully people on this forum will not take that bait.

    • Marki says...

      Shawn, it is not illegal to come to enter this country to claim asylum. I am an attorney who represents immigrants through the Florence Project, and my clients have come to this country to claim asylum because they were kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery (and escaped), abused, and threatened with murder for political reasons. Unlike myself, they do not read the NY Times on a daily basis and do not know up-to-the-minute policy decisions made by our federal government and therefore do not know that children can be ripped away from them if they come here; they only know that they will die if they stay in their home country, and that America is a place where they respect human and civil rights. If you met any one of them, saw their scars (literally) and heard their stories, I’m almost certain you would see it differently.

    • Maria says...

      The weekend-posts usually have about 50-60 comments. By now this post has 87 comments, so your theory of paucity falls through.

    • edie says...

      Maria, there were less than a dozen comments until earlier this morning.

    • Cara says...

      While I agree that the ripping children out of their mother’s arms is horrific and unacceptable, where do we draw the line? Think about it for a second. It is certainly admirable to WANT to help everyone seeking asylum or freedom in the US at all of the borders, but actually being ABLE to do it is a far stretch. We just cannot help everyone. I’m not saying we shouldn’t help anyone, but we can’t help everyone. This country has it’s own issues that we can’t even solve (mental illness, homelessness, the foster care system, etc) yet we try and save everyone else, while turning our backs to those that need funding here in the US. Also, look at Germany and Italy dealing with people being rescued in the sea by the coast guards… it is madness and they are having major issues with these immigrants. I don’t think anyone commenting to the unpopular opinion (that Shawn has honestly put out there and just because you don’t agree doesn’t make it ok to attack her in any way, by the way), doesn’t mean that they are cold hearted or dont WANT to help these people, it is a matter of how to solve this serious problem.

    • Kate says...

      Please understand that it is 100% legal to walk up to the United States border and surrender to the border agents and ask for asylum. Most of these people are crossing into the US legally in this way. I have volunteered at a jail with children in it in Texas that was holding mothers and children under 18 before the current administration started separating them from their parents (husbands and wives have always been separated). They are doing it right, our administration is doing them wrong.

  40. Nora says...

    Thank you for opposing the cruel treatment of immigrant families! Everybody has to speak out, loudly. Everywhere.

  41. Victoria says...

    Thanks for sharing the link to RAICES and the link to the op-ed by Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal. My husband and I just made a $100 donation. These stories of these families being separated are heartbreaking.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much, victoria.

  42. Laetitia says...

    I’ve been following the Family belong together movements, being an immigrant in America myself, this is my worst nightmare, and i hope the current administration will have to respond to their horrible policies.

    Speaking of Heists, have you seen Casa de papel (Money Heist in English)? It’s on Netflix, and it is so good! I recommend watching in Spanish with subtitles ;)

  43. I love the list this week. The special lunch reminds me of when I volunteered with the IRC. I worked with a family who’d just arrived from Nepal (they were refugees even in Nepal, having fled Bhutan). They used to cook me the loveliest meals and were always gracious. I learned a lot about the refugee situation in the US through that experience. The one thing I remember most is that refugees don’t get to choose to which country they go. This family wanted to go to India, as the language and culture were more similar to their own; instead, they came to the US. I’d never considered refugees wouldn’t necessarily have wanted to come here, that they simply have to accept a decision made for them. Finally, my son loves the soccer pics. Thanks for that. :) Amy

    • Fernanda says...

      Hi Amy
      Thats wonderful, that you could help them. I was curious about their escape from Buthan. I visited this country last year and found it enchanting.
      What happened there? Sorry if I missed the history lessons or the news, but thank God for this community here at Joanna’s blog :)

  44. Taylor says...

    I have that 70’s style shirt and I wear it all the time. I love it!

  45. Marlena says...

    So, I just have a couple of observations. As the child of an immigrant who applied legally and had to wait quite a long time for the papers to come thru. My Father spent 5 years of his boyhood ina Japanese prison camp it was a horrific childhood and he lost his mother to dysentery. However, these people have to apply and go through the proper channels to get here. I myself moved to another country after University and had to supply FBI documents and fingerprints that I was not a criminal. This is fair and proper. And also as a native of California a state that is already struggling with water shortages and there are whole towns in the Central Valley that have their water trucked in because the wells have run dry adding more disadvantaged to the state will only take away from citizens that are legal. You all should look up a documentary called Water Wars, very enlightening in view of the immigration situation. I don’t want to be disrespectful but I really feel that this is an issue that will most effect the poor citizens of our country and we as a people need to look after them first…..

    • Ne says...

      I’d like to say 2 things:
      Solve the big ticket items first, refugees are a much smaller problem than practically any other when it comes to making life easier for the bottom 30%!
      All the systems in the world should protect our humanity, our humanity shouldn’t be sacrificed for these systems. I am reminded of the Stanford Prison experiment. There are no winners here.

    • Paula says...

      Do you honestly believe that the California water crisis will somehow be made worst by immigrants? Start with the real problems for the “more disadvantaged” “legal” citizens (and that is laughable unless you are a Native American) in this country: wealth distribution, income inequality, cost of healthcare, and the lowest public school standards. And to get down to your level: both of my grandparents are Holocaust survivors, and I am an immigrant living in the US. The only reason I’m not targeted is because of the color of my skin.

      Your points are weak, your lack of knowledge of the impact immigrants have on an economy is astounding, and hiding behind your dad’s story makes it all that much sadder.

    • Mb says...

      My father was an immigrant as well. The difference there is he was not an asylum seeker. Let us not conflate the two.

  46. Cate says...

    Hello Joanna
    I love when your blog is impassioned as to the trashing of human rights for any but particularly for voiceless refugees. As an Australian long term reader we face the same dilemma in our country in having a government which is undertaking an abomination in our name against refugees. As women we need to take a stand and exercise all of our liberties to fight for women and children fleeing who don’t have a voice. Much more please in these very disheartening times X

  47. CathyMA says...

    Oh yes to RAICES. Recently heard about them and have donated.
    Your friend Linsey…oh my goodness, such a beautiful story. I thought to myself, i should follow her on Insta, then noticed I already am! I thought her kids looked familiar :)
    Have a happy weekend!!!

  48. Erica says...

    That strawberry cake is the best— I make for get togethers and always get complements!

  49. Laura C. says...

    The children being ripped from their parents is so heartbreaking. I did know that because I read foreign news, as well as you blog that tells this horrible news. I can’t believe that this is happening in the USA. It’s cruel.
    As far as I am concerned, I might give light to this by sharing and writing an open letter to a national newspaper.
    Oh, I was hoping to see the REAL cake that you and Anton cooked!
    Have fun at the beach, it’s a great idea. Xoxo

  50. C says...

    Thank you for sharing what is happening at the border. I realize that if my heart is broken for these children and families, how must they feel? What in the world is happening to these children apart from their parents and without the care of those that love them? I simply cannot imagine and yet, I can. It is not a matter of whether they will be abused but rather, how many. How we are allowing this to happen is beyond me. Donating to immigration rights organizations and making phone calls are things almost all of us can do. It is easy to believe, with all the overwhelming news, that we individually have no power, but we do! Please do all you can even if it is simply spreading the news. We must make sure this stops immediately.

  51. Jenni says...

    I teared up at the comment about the signet ring. What a beautiful and poingnet memorial!

  52. El says...

    Thank you thank you thank you. With love from a border state that is gripped with fear. xo.

  53. Marcella says...

    It’s so crazy living here in San Antonio, TX and being less than 3 hours from the border. I know people who have interned for RAICES when I was in college two years ago. This week there was a tractor trailer of immigrants pulled over in an alley about a mile from my house. It’s so heartbreaking and extremely frustrating that this administration doesn’t understand the lengths people go through to enter this country and make a better life for their families. I used to get separation anxiety when my parents would go on DATES when I was younger and I can’t even imagine the trauma these parents and children are going through. Thanks cup of jo for your support.

  54. Anna says...

    Where’s Mari?!

  55. Jamie says...

    Always sincere, kind, and respectful. Thank you for shining light on the issues that most need it and for choosing to do so in a way that stresses urgency but underlined the ways that something can be done – right now, by us! This space is a warm hug from empathetic and enlightened friends.

  56. Erin B. says...

    Thank you so much for bringing light to this issue where children are being separated from their families. I’m horrified by it all – and the piece that feels most scary is the helplessness. I would love to follow your lead. I feel like we need to harness all of the mother energy in this country to make a real shift. Onwards, please!

  57. M Shea says...

    I highly recommend watching this for more info on the immigration family issue. It is horrendous and what makes it worse is this has been happening for at least 5 years! We need a better way of aiding and processing people in need. This video is by journalists that have been reporting on this since 2014 https://www.facebook.com/cnsnewscom/videos/1918778208145218/

  58. Libbynan says...

    Mari Andrew…..where are you? Also, any “heist movie” list that doesn’t have “How to Steal a Million” on it is fatally flawed. So beautiful and witty and romantic and stylish….it’s the best!

  59. cm says...

    It is tragic that these families are not entering the country legally and at Ports of Entry. Responsible journalism appears to be a lost art.

  60. Britt says...

    I have had increasing difficulty concentrating thinking of these families. I’m a mom and can not fathom what they’re going through ? Thank you for sharing the organizations where we can donate. I do not live near the border, but I want to help so badly.

  61. Sarah says...

    Thank you for bringing to light the children being separated from their parents at the border. I didn’t realize… and it is heartbreaking. :*( This world sometimes… Good to know about the organizations that can help…

    we love that strawberry cake! So easy and yummy.

  62. Ashley F. says...

    We, as the people of the United States, must do something fast to stop what is happening at the border. The trauma these families are experiencing will only deepen the trauma they have already lived through. As a mother myself, I am sick with worry thinking about these people. What can we do besides donate money? How can we change the policy?

    • Kim G says...

      Call your elected representatives and demand action! Protest! Go door to door and talk to your neighbors!

    • Elizabeth says...

      If you are not registered to vote, start there.

      If you are registered to vote, look up when your elections are and what is coming up and ready to be voted on. Look up who is running and see where they stand on issues. Don’t be afraid to reach out to their offices for clarification on where they stand on certain issues, too! A quick email to their office can help you clarify where they stand, especially if it’s a newer issue (like this one…) that they don’t have an official stance on yet. It also helps them know where their constituents (if they are the incumbent) or future constituents stand on issues, as well!

      Once that is sorted, write and call and email your current representatives and anyone you know in power. This could be the president of a store you frequent or a company you use a lot like a rideshare app, the schools your children or you attend, the president of your HOA or neighborhood association. Encourage them to think long and hard about this issue, encourage them to seek justice from the top down, and for their organizations to act benevolently. Petitioning these types of institutions can be as important as petitioning our representatives in the government – we need to make some noise and this is a great way to do that.

      And finally, think about who you get to be in charge of. Are you raising children? Do you talk to a book club or host a stitch n’ bitch? Use these as avenues to make people aware of this and give them this sequence of things to do so that they can also let people know how important it is to address this issue.

  63. Kristie Dahlia Home says...

    I’ve been wondering where best to give, and have just given to both the orgs you have suggested. Thank you for being a voice for honor and decency.

  64. Tessie says...

    Thank you so much for your donations. I have worked with the RAICES/CARA Project at the border and can tell you that every dollar will go to direct services to help these poor people. The facilities are so disgusting, you would never want your sister or kids there. What a scary, traumatic way to welcome scared, traumatized people into our country.

    I practice immigration law and remind myself of the text at the feet of Lady Liberty.

    … From her beacon-hand
    Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
    The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

    “Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
    With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
    The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
    Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
    I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

    • Alex R says...

      Thank you for your work! I’m also an immigration lawyer (I work with unaccompanied immigrant kids who have been released to sponsors here in NYC). It has been a really rough week. I am willing myself into believing that a change is coming. Hang in there!!

    • Katie H. says...

      How have so many forgotten this?

    • Heather says...

      I practice immigration law too, and our job has never been harder or more important than it is now. Keep fighting the good fight.

    • APaige says...

      It brings tears to my eyes to read those words right now, Tessie. How low we have been brought by this administration and how frighteningly far we are from those sentiments. So glad to hear your work allows you to make a difference for the families who need it most.

  65. edie says...

    I know this is an unpopular opinion, but POTUS isn’t ripping children away from their parents at the border. Even the Times corrected this: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/28/us/trump-immigrant-children-lost.html

    And I’m aware that I’m just echoing comments made by others (e.g. Meghan Mccain), but if a family chooses to come here illegally (for whatever reason) there are going to be consequences. It’s heartbreaking that families have the potential to be separated at our border, but we’re a sovereign nation. There’s no easy answer, but when someone makes an unwise decision, those who enforce the law aren’t to blame.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      they ABSOLUTELY are taking children from their parents — this nyt article is simply saying that the children aren’t subsequently “lost,” and that certain agencies know where they are. hundreds of children are being separated from their parents, which even the trump administration confirms. in fact, often govt officials tell parents that they’re just taking the children off to take baths, but then they return hours later saying the parents won’t see their children again. it’s horrifying and immoral (which is also firmly stated in a nytimes op-ed: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/14/opinion/children-parents-asylum-immigration.html)

    • Fernanda says...

      My God. It’s almost worst to see people justifying this evil crime of separating children (children!!!! Someone’s kid!) from parents than the act itself.
      It makes you understand how nazis lasted so long without anyone stopping it. Some People find justification for everything when they want to look the other way. What is this world? What’s going on??

    • edie says...

      Joanna,

      Thanks for your comment. Based on what I read over the weekend, families are only separated if they enter the country by illegal means. It seems like we’re blaming those enforcing the law instead of those who are breaking them.

      My coworker’s family immigrated here by legal means. They spent thousands of dollars/hours to come here legally. They’re just as frustrated by all of this as I am – both by the tragic consequences of sneaking into the country and the lack of respect for our nation’s borders.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      we’re working on a post right now, which will address these misconceptions, but to explain in the meantime:

      Right now U.S. border agents are physically preventing families from entering the U.S. They are telling people at the borders that they are at capacity, while that is untrue. They’re turning people away at the bridges. https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/immigrant-advocates-question-legality-of-latest-federal-tactics/

      So, the terrified families who are escaping gang violence, rape, murder, etc., and trying to seek asylum in the U.S. have no choice but to try to enter another way.

      Also, it’s important to know that some families attempting to cross the border legally are ALSO being separated, as part of the Trump Administration’s “zero tolerance” policy. Especially fathers and kids.

      Please stay tuned for our post!

    • Paula says...

      Edie, when you seek asylum in a country-you must be physically INSIDE that country. They aren’t doing anything illegal. Also, do you know what a first offense of crossing illegally into the US is? It’s a misdemeanor. So next time you text and drive, would you like for that police officer to arrest you, and while he arrests you-to take your child away, due to a misdemeanor charge? And then put said child into a facility that has never seen such influx of children, who are ill equipped to deal with said children – at best! And at worst, it vastly increases chances for these little kids to be now victims of physical and sexual abuse.
      The fact that this has to be explained is beyond me.

    • edie says...

      Thanks, Joanna. There’s still a lot of gray area that the Texas Monthly article isn’t addressing, but I definitely agree families need to be reunited ASAP. The article I’ve linked to below has helped me get a firmer grip on things. One point it makes is that it’s difficult for everyone involved to honor our laws and (as FLOTUS stated so eloquently) govern with heart.

      “Why try to hold adults at all? First of all, if an asylum-seeker is detained, it means that the claim goes through the process much more quickly, a couple of months or less rather than years. Second, if an adult is released while the claim is pending, the chances of ever finding that person again once he or she is in the country are dicey, to say the least. It is tantamount to allowing the migrant to live here, no matter what the merits of the case.”

      https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/05/illegal-immigration-enforcement-separating-kids-at-border/

    • Hannah says...

      Edie, these families are desperate. They do not have “thousands of dollars/hours”. To call it an “unwise decision” smacks of privilege and to be honest, ignorance.

      As a Brit, it is interesting to me that some US citizens are defending this situation. Unless you are a Native American, how did your family get there, and why? Were they fleeing the famine in Ireland? Or the war in Europe?

      Those in glass houses should not throw stones.

    • Lyra says...

      Edie, I read the national review article that you linked. When I read news articles I look for several things. Are the statements the author is making backed up by first person quotes? And does the article include facts that can be fact checked or are the ‘facts’ written as a synopsis of what is going on? The National Review article is written as an opinion piece, not an investigative piece of journalism. There are no quotes from people involved in the story—either detained immigrants or boarder patrol agents. No one is quoted from the departments of government dealing with the detained immigrants or the separated children. And lastly, all ‘facts’ are written as narration without sources. Here are is an article, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2018/04/04/president-trumps-claim-that-democrats-created-catch-and-release-policies/?utm_term=.5eb669df0893 , that includes both verifiable facts and interviews regarding ‘catch and release’ as you quoted from the National Review article: “Second, if an adult is released while the claim is pending, the chances of ever finding that person again once he or she is in the country are dicey, to say the least. It is tantamount to allowing the migrant to live here, no matter what the merits of the case.””

      And here is an article that includes in depth interviews of a woman who was deported without her son, putting into question the statement from the National Review article that families are being deported together after a ‘brief’ separation: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/06/17/us/immigration-deported-parents.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

  66. Hannah says...

    My husband bought me a ring to remember our first baby that we lost in a miscarriage as well. I think the symbolism of the empty space is beautiful.

  67. Katie says...

    All of these links are lovely… yet I am missing Mari Andrew!

    • Jenna says...

      Me too! I hope she’s still doing an illustration each Friday!

    • holagranola says...

      me too!!

    • Same! Her posts are often the best part of Friday.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      we love mari so much!!! she is now traveling to australia and re-examining her work process, working on her second book, etc. so her time here has come to an end. i’m so happy for her but she will be deeply missed.

      we will be featuring another series on fridays (coming soon!) and also sharing all the updates to the CoJ team shortly. please stay tuned. thank you so much.

    • Jen says...

      Yes!!! Will she be back please oh please??

    • Lisa says...

      Yes where is Mari!!!

    • Nashville Reader says...

      Yes, is Mari okay? Please know that your keen eye is missed. Be well, dear friend-who-does-not-know-she-speaks-for-many (whew, so many hyphens!)

    • Brooke says...

      Thank you for wonderful voice and leads for safety and care for these kiddos. Heartrending! If we all act, it is a strong voice and care network….

      On a lighter note, also missing Mari! Is her Friday series done here?