Design

Have a Wonderful Weekend.

Pink flowers by Thalia Ho

What are you up to this weekend? It’s SNOWING outside right now, so we’re going to cozy up, put on thick socks and watch movies. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

If literature’s “complicated men” were on Tinder, hahaha.

What a beautiful hotel.

These adorable kids’ pajamas have free monogramming right now.

Seven women on choosing to be celibate.

Who else wants to live in this colorful house?

A cute sweatshirt for spring.

Five unexpected things happy people have in their kitchens.

Am I gay or straight? Maybe this fun quiz will tell me.

How ants build bridges. (This blew my mind.)

Monica Lewinsky in the age of #MeToo. “I’m beginning (just beginning) to consider the implications of the power differentials that were so vast between a president and a White House intern.”

Mean Girls is on now Broadway!

Plus, a great reader comment:

Says Meg on parenting teens: “My mom had a tiny bathroom that could barely fit one person. So, as a teenager, I would lean my face against the door frame, half in the room and half in the hall, while she got ready in the morning. There was something so soothing about watching my mom methodically work through her beauty routine. I spilled out an ocean of teenage doubts and anxieties and joys standing behind her in that doorway. Somehow, it was always easier to talk about the important stuff there — it became a sacred place for us. I vividly remember a moment when I was sharing a particularly deep heartache. After finishing her routine, and hoping I wouldn’t notice, she washed off her fresh makeup and started all over again. It was a quiet act of love I’ll never forget.”

(Flowers photo by Thalia Ho. Complicated men via Emily. Monica via Ashley.)

  1. Kelly says...

    Meg’s comment about her mother washing off her make up and starting again made me cry. What a beautiful showcase of love. It made me miss my mom so much and appreciate the bond I have with my daughter. Thank you.

  2. Alyssa says...

    Loved Meg’s comment! I have the best relationship with my mom and I think of the many little ways that she let me know how I loved I was and am. More recently, we’ve begun watching movies together in her bed. It’s just a nice time for us to be together and watch something together. Sometimes we’ll talk about stuff that’s going on and sometimes, we’ll just watch a movie. But it’s become very precious time.

  3. Hai Yen says...

    Meg’s story about her mom seriously brought tears to my eyes. It’s really these small moments that add up to so much.

  4. Meg’s story about her Mother wiping off her makeup just made my day. I lost my Mother when I was 19, but this is just the type of sweet, subtle thing she would have done. Thank you for the heartwarming thoughts you brought to mind.

  5. Charli says...

    Thank you for the “Am I gay or straight?” article! I’m 31, and I just figured out that I am gay. I just wish we encouraged more young people to really think about and explore their attraction and sexuality! This article really resonated with me.

  6. Carrie says...

    That comment was beautiful and so touching! It’s still sitting on my heart.

  7. Meg says...

    Reading all these sweet comments about women and their mamas has me a teary mess! To all the women expressing gratitude for their moms, and to all the women striving to be the mother they wish they had, I’m thankful for you. Gosh it gives me such hope in our future. Keep going! You’re making a difference! With love, <3

  8. julie m says...

    Meg’s comment brought big tears and happy memories … moments with my mom where why she took a bath and I would sit next to the tub on the floor. This lasted up in to my adult years even when I was a mom up until cancer came and took her away.

  9. Heather D says...

    Love the article about celibacy. It’s not a popular decision these days. Many women are berated and looked down upon for their decision to remain celibate until marriage. Some are judged for only sleeping with one person for a lifetime. I love articles like this showing that women who practice celibacy for whatever reason are just nice, normal gals making a personal decision that’s best for them.

    • Lucia says...

      It’s always interesting to read articles on celibacy. As a woman who has remained celibate (by choice) for my entire life (I am now in my 40s) I was so curious to read this article. I have always deeply sympathized with Tim Gunn, who I consider to be the most prominent person that I know who of has publicly admitted their choice to remain celibate. It is not an easy road, but I think that people may conflate choosing to abstain from physical intimacy with being incapable of deep emotional intimacy, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have decades long, deep, lovely supportive relationships with friends and feel known and accepted by them. I love others deeply, and empathize with many. While I’ll never completely say never to romantic love, I know that I will be just fine in my sweet, cozy home, with my cats (of course! ha!) surrounded and supported by people who love me and who I love in return.

  10. Meg’s comment reminded me of my morning routine with my mom when I was a teen. She and my dad had a master bathroom with double sinks, so we could get ready side-by-side – blowdrying and curling our hair, putting on makeup, and talking about life. My mother was diagnosed with metastatic cancer when I was a sophomore in high school, and that time with her was so precious. Not just because I was aware of her mortality and therefore tried not to take anything for granted, but because it was just so beautiful and powerful to me watching her care for her body that way, no matter how hard or scary things were. The images of her rubbing lotion into her arms or swipe mascara across her lashes are ingrained in my memory forever.

    • Courtney says...

      That is beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. What a lovely memory to hold on to.

  11. jill c. says...

    oh Meg’s comment….just so beautiful….made my heartache a bit reading it.

  12. Flo says...

    Such a moving comment from Meg. Thank you!

  13. Lucy R says...

    Meg’s comment brought a tear to my eye. One of my most lasting childhood memories is sitting on the loo seat often chatting to my mum while she was in the bath. I even remember watching my little brother’s feet kick from inside her tummy while she was pregnant with him. Such a simple thing but so special ❤️

  14. Lovely reader comment <3

  15. Kelly says...

    Whoa. Wow. I was not prepared for Meg’s comment and didn’t see it in the initial post. But I could see it, feel it and hear it — that was such a powerful image. Thank you, both!, for sharing.

  16. Whitney says...

    Meg’s comment is everything.

  17. KB says...

    Thank you for sharing Katie Heaney’s article. As a 26-year-old woman who is pretty sure she’s straight, but isn’t necessarily 100% sure, it’s nice to see that there are others who figure that stuff out later in life. Her article provided no answers, of course, but it made me feel not alone and encouraged a great conversation about sexuality between my roommate and I.

  18. SD says...

    Meg’s comment is 100% my favorite that one that I’ve read on this blog yet (and I love the comments on each post!). What an amazing mom she has!

  19. Jenn I says...

    Meg’s comment was so lovely. I always sat on the floor in my mom’s bathroom while she got ready, or up against the cabinets in the closet helping her choose an outfit (or telling what not to wear #teenager). I miss her so much, and it’s wonderful (and a little tearful) to be reminded of these memories by other reader comments. Thanks Meg for the comment, and Joanna for mining the comments to find these gems.

  20. Cristina Corbalan says...

    Meg’s comment sent shivers down my spine! I hope I can be that sort of a mum to my girls one day. C x

  21. Robin says...

    I was looking around my kitchen to see if we have the things that happy people have: a mess, hobby supplies, hand-me-downs, plants, and little luxuries. Yes to all five. I also noticed that nestled among the potted plants is a bottle of anti-depressants, and I had to giggle a bit.

    • sasha says...

      ☺️
      Your comment makes me giggle!
      I had all five too, and felt very smug about that. It’s smug the same as happy? Hmm, just can’t tell.
      Maybe we should change the list to six though. Sometimes tiny things in bottles do bring a lot of happiness.

  22. Rachel says...

    To all of you readers who don’t have those five things in your kitchen: it’s okay. Happiness is not dependent on them.

  23. T-T That comment from your reader just made me want to cry, that’s such a touching memory! Thankfully the nor’easter is just giving us record wind gusts and no snow fall. I read Monica’s article and I found it really interesting because, as a 90’s kid, it was just before my time and I never really got to see how the media was framing the situation. Has my impression of the event (given to me from my parents) been wrong all this time? I’m glad that we’re opening this wormhole because it needs to be discussed!
    Nicolette

  24. Noelle says...

    Meg’s comment was so moving. I hope I can be as good of a listener and friend for my 3 daughter’s one day. I love this. Thanks for sharing!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, fascinating, dom!

  25. Katie says...

    oh my gosh Meg’s comment about her mother listening to her sorrow just made me burst into tears.

    • Kassie says...

      Me too! What a wonderful mother and gesture.

  26. Julie M. says...

    Meg’s comment has me in tears… and rereading it over again. Thanks for sharing

    • Maia says...

      Me too.

  27. I saw in the comments, before I finished this post, that Meg’s comment made people cry, so I was prepared *not* to cry (having been forewarned). And then, I burst into tears. People are so beautiful and good and lovely. Also, the article on celibacy is one of the best pieces I’ve read in a long time, on any subject. The comment about physical loneliness (“But there is a physical loneliness that has nothing to do with sex.”) is especially poignant. I think that can happen even when we’re with a partner, in marriages or relationships, or just in life in general in a world where we’re afraid to touch each other if it isn’t sexual. Anyway, great collection this weekend.

  28. Laura C. says...

    Meg’s comment is precious. I would have loved to have a mom like hers. And I hope I’ll be as good mom as hers.

  29. Kate says...

    You’ve never mentioned whether or not you’re a fan of The Good Place, but I recently discovered it and love it! I think it is so quirky and funny! Anyway, the concrete colorful house reminds me of Kristen Bell’s house on that show… all it needs is some portraits of clowns! Ha!

  30. Faith says...

    Meg’s comment has me in tears! How beautiful.

  31. Sheila says...

    I’m going to start this comment by saying that I love 99.9% of everything you guys put out, but $50 monagrammed pajamas for little kids?! That really gets under my skin. Maybe I’m irritable tonight or maybe those are just crazy. I can’t decide

  32. Leah says...

    Oh Meg!

  33. jen says...

    Monica Lewinsky is no victim. She seduced, Clinton gave in. No coertion anywhere. She has stewed about this for 20 years and now wants a #metoo moment. Not buying it.

    • Kellyn says...

      I have to disagree – she was 22 and he was 49. She was an intern and he was the president….I don’t think there’s any greater position in the United States for the potential for an abuse of power. “She seduced…” – that implies that men have zero control over their sexual actions…and that’s just not the case (but what women have been led to believe and that thought results in many women ‘going along with’ what the man wants to do sexually). Also – no one was in the room with them so I’m not sure how you can make that statement with confidence.

      She has really suffered from that relationship – much more than Bill Clinton and the consequences for what she did – the damage to her reputation – have been huge. Yes, she was of age – but she was only 22 and people’s brains aren’t even fully developed by then…

      I’ll continue to put all the blame on Bill Clinton for that one – and I applaud her for joining the movement. Clinton should have never acted on any sexual relationship. Just like I would hope that in any workplace a person in such an extreme position of power would not have an inappropriate relationship with an intern.

    • Kate says...

      She was a 22 year old intern. He was president of the United States. Who do you think held the most power there?

    • Elle says...

      A grown man in the most powerful position in the United States “gave in” to a White House intern? Really?!

    • Lizzie says...

      I must say I was disappointed to find your comment here, Jen. This community is built upon respect and welcoming the stories of other women without judgement. Despite what you believe you know about Monica Lewinsky’s story, I would urge you to set aside your assumptions and judgement. She deserves to speak her truth and to be heard, just as much as the next woman.

    • Lynda says...

      She was a young girl, how do you know there was no coercion? This woman was hounded and I do think she deserves her #MeToo moment, regardless of his politics. She deserves whatever helps her get through her life. I can’t imagine what it must have been like going through all of that. He was seduced……please.

    • Jeanne says...

      As someone who was a young adult during this time, this comment by Jen displays a complete lack of empathy and sympathy and understanding of the bigger picture at play. This is the exact kind of mindset that give men the ability to label women the “temptress” and give men complete lack of culpability. Yes she slept with the President but he encouraged her. And to have the most powerful man in the world (especially at that time) show a young woman attention is very difficult to turn away. Even today, look at how many women give in to athletes, actors and rock stars. Monica Lewinksy was made a pawn by the most powerful political men in the country. She suffered and continues to suffer to an extent to which is not deserved for her action and she may NEVER be able to publically recover. All because of a decision she made as practically a kid. I can not respect her more for coming out and speaking.

    • mb says...

      This was a sad comment to read. I was 12-13 when this scandal was in the news. I was raised in a religious household and we did not discuss it, although I was old enough to get enough of an idea of what had taken place. From my tween perspective, Monica had gotten in a relationship with a married man. They were both in the wrong. The sexual details I heard about but did not fully understand (including the technicalities of oral sex!) sounded disgusting and I thought she was trashy. Then I grew up. I’m in my 30s and I think of this 22-year old woman going through this scandal and I seethe. I teach 22-year olds and I realize how even though I am only a decade older I am so far ahead of them in terms of maturity and the capacity to think about consequences. I am not trying to demean my students, I just understand how much development takes place throughout your twenties. The fact that this woman was publicly slut-shamed and made fun of because of her looks is enough to make me realize how backwards the prosperous and complacent 90s were. I’m angry for her and I hope that we continue to grow. I hope one day we will all be able to see that Monica Lewinsky, much like Anita Hill, were proof that feminism’s work was nowhere near done.

    • sasha says...

      Ouch. I imagine ML has been reading stuff like this for more than 20 years, and worse of course. Personally, I have nothing but compassion for a young lady with stars in her eyes, almost destroyed by something that many 22 yo young ladies engage in.
      It’s hard for me to imagine this helpless, unwilling, naive and victimized Bill Clinton you imagine.

    • sasha says...

      And honestly, as my husband is Clinton’s age, and oldest daughter is Lewinsky’s, it makes me physically sick to think of the twisted power dynamics in that *relationship*.
      He should’ve known better. And should’ve done more to help and protect her. And shouldn’t have been out to bang a girl that could’ve been his daughter. Putting blame on her just makes it even sicker.

    • She never calls herself a victim. I think her comment is pretty self-aware and shows that she still thinks about her part (and the hugely disproportionate share of blame she took on) in the scandal.

    • Hanna says...

      I was 18 in 1998, and I thought I was a grown up. Lewinsky’s article caused me to reflect on how much more I have grown up in the 20 years since, and how our society has, too. Though I never thought Lewinsky seduced Clinton, I considered them to be equal, consenting partners in a bad decision. At the time, I judged Lewinsky particularly harshly, because I thought Clinton was “just doing what men do,” whereas Lewinsky, being a few years older than me, and a professional woman, should definitely have exercised better sense.

      20 years later, I see the age difference and *job* difference between Lewinsky and Clinton as terribly problematic. And I’m disturbed that my own reaction at the time was to blandly accept his behavior while vilifying her for a lack of maturity. In the rear view mirror, it’s clear to me that Lewinsky wasn’t an *immature* 21 year old, she was a fairly typical one, taken advantage of by an older man in a fairly typical way.

      Today, I think her very mature and nuanced perspective on the #metoo movement is valuable to us all.

    • A Martin says...

      Just to add to the other comments. This wasn’t Bill’s first or last indiscretion. He knew better.

    • sasha says...

      Hanna, I too judged Monica so harshly back then. We are the same age, and I was already a wife and mother of two in 1998, and I thought she should know better. Now, I know it’s much more complicated than that. I owe her an apology. Ms. Lewinsky, if you happen to read this, I am sorry I unfairly judged you. And I’m super sorry for what happened to you. I think most of us who were adults back then owe her that.

  34. Enbee says...

    I thought loose fitting kids’ pjs were treated with flame retardants – anyone know if there’s truth to that?

    • Kellyn says...

      I was actually just wondering about that today —- if this were the days of lighting rooms by candles I’d get the need for flame retardant clothing….

    • Bethany says...

      I believe there’s some controversy surrounding using flame retardant chemicals on children’s clothing. My husband listened to a podcast recently about this topic and told me that the practice of treating children’s clothing with flame retardants is not as common, because studies have shown that it leads to lower IQ scores and other learning difficulties. If you’re interested, I can ask my husband what exactly the podcast was called!

      FWIW, I’ve noticed that most of my daughter’s pjs came with a warning tag that said the clothing was NOT treated with a flame retardant, and to make sure that the article fit snugly.

  35. t says...

    Crying from Meg’s comment. Tears for such a beautiful moment and and a loving tribute from daughter to mother and a mother to daughter. And tears because I never had that with my mother. And tears of hope that I will have a special and open relationship with my children.

    • Anne says...

      Crying too. Love is such a beautiful thing

    • Angela says...

      Exactly my response. You put it so well.

  36. Margaret says...

    I just recently became a mother, and I loved Meg’s story aboufor her mother’s love and attention to her. I hope my son will have memories like this too.

  37. Felicia says...

    Meg’s story touched my heart

  38. Joy says...

    that comment from Meg is one of the best things I’ve ever read in my life. oh how precious.

  39. Wow, that comment by Meg made me cry too! <3

  40. Marie says...

    Thanks for posting that article about celibacy! It’s a topic that’s often completely missing in our societal discussions about sex, dating, and relationships. I think celibacy could be a great option for a lot of people but gets overlooked (or looked down on) because of its religious connotations.

  41. Elizabeth says...

    that comment by Meg took my breath away

    • Val says...

      …it took my breath and a tear or two.

  42. Misha says...

    The comment by Meg made me cry and the article by Monica is making me think. What a gifted writer she is!

  43. Nina says...

    What a beautiful moment from the mother of a teen, you shared. Thank you.