Design

Have a Lovely Weekend.

Paris by Jeanne Damas

What are you up to this weekend? We’ll be lying low tonight since Anton had to get one of his teeth pulled. (He had hurt it in a fall a few years ago.) My heart was racing the whole time, but he was so brave! Alex and I are also going to see the hilarious Demetri Martin tomorrow. Have you ever seen his comedy? Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

Humans matching artwork.

Start with chopped broccoli.” Yum.

I just tried this beauty blender and it’s a game changer.

A house for booklovers and cats.

The joy of not wearing a bra. “I like the way most clothes feel on my bare skin: silk camisoles and thick knit sweaters and the patterned blouses from my grandmother’s closet. I like the way my breasts sound against my ribcage when I run down the stairs, like someone clapping politely for a performance that they didn’t particularly enjoy… When I nod vigorously, my boobs nod along, in agreement. When I wave at someone in a crowd, they wave with me. They wiggle and they bounce and they gather puddles of sweat that stream toward my belly button. As I move through the world, sometimes making only the slightest of gestures, there’s always a part of me that is dancing.”

Reading Jane Eyre while black.

Oh my gosh, how weird/cool is this void rug?

There are so many beautiful ballet dancers on Instagram. For example, these turns!

Halloween for adults means chili and wine. Yes, please.

What a pretty top for dinners out.

Plus, three reader comments:

Says Lauren on a secret to a happy marriage: “A great relationship tip I once read is: Start your week by asking your partner what is one thing you can do to help make his or her week easier. Over the years, our answers have included everything from ‘pick up dry cleaning’ to ‘hug me on Tuesday after the work meeting I’ve nervous about.’ It reminds us that no matter what we are experiencing alone, we also have someone to help us get through it.”

Says Maria on 10 Things I Always Tell Pregnant Women: “Whenever I’m soothing my toddler or baby, or both at once, I soothe myself, too – which might go something like ‘It’s okay, Cecelia, it’s okay, Evie, it’s okay, Momma; we’ll be okay.’ Somehow that helps me get through the crazy moments – I’m pretty sure everyone looked at me like I was crazy during a mid-aisle meltdown at Rite Aid, but I needed the self encouragement.”

Says Gaia on Things I Always Tell Pregnant Women: “A sound machine at the hospital was super helpful for recovery! I always tell expecting parents to bring one.”

(Photo by Jeanne Damas/Instagram. Cat house via Miss Moss. Void rug via Swissmiss.)

  1. So, after a quick dinner date without the kids last night, I asked my husband what I could do this week to make his life easier. Without even thinking, he went “have sex with me every single day of this week”. I was ?????

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahah

  2. L says...

    The bra article reminds me of a time when I was in my 20s and must have needed to do laundry or something, because I showed up to dance class without a bra (I have a pretty big chest). My dance teacher, who’s kind of a hippy lady, cringed and told me I really needed to wear a bra, I would regret this someday. She was right. I mean, there were leaps involved.

    I wear a “comfy” bra now, they’re cheap from the dollar store and really work, for me.

  3. Laura C. says...

    The bra thing. I would love to go braless because my neck would harm less, but I have “mom boobs” and it would be embarrassing to me!
    The matching artwork is amazing as well!

  4. Mara says...

    What filter do you use for the photos on your “Have a Good Weekend” posts? There is always such a beautiful light to them…

  5. That black top is gorgeous! I have been looking for one to wear this fall.

  6. Heather says...

    I completely appreciate the bra article, but I don’t think I would ever be comfortable going out in public without mine. There’s something about having my breasts hoisted up in a pretty, delicate bra that makes me feel powerful, but also like I’m hiding a lovely secret.

    I will say that her comment about shame struck a chord. All of my life, women out in public with evident nipples have garnered disapproving nods from other, properly-harnessed women. Why, I wonder, does it even matter? As I grow older (currently the wise old age of 35, ha), I care less what people think of me. I think I’ll be pondering this for a few days to come.

  7. Hélène says...

    Thank you for all the links so interesting and fun as usual.
    A special thanks for making me discover this new take on Jane Eyre; it was fascinating.
    And great tip from Lauren, I’ll keep this one in mind for the future: it sounds like very wise and toughtful advice. As one sais above, I love your selections of reader’s comments (especially as often I do not have to browse through them no matter how interesting they are)
    Have a good week.

  8. Kate says...

    I love the article about reading Jane Eyre while black. When I read Jane Eyre for my introductory English class last year, we read it along with Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, which addresses exactly that.
    We looked at race explicitly as something that was being used to represent madness and what that meant for a modern interpretation of the story. From my perspective, since that was my introduction to the book, it now makes it strange for me to think that some people read it without that background and commentary with it.
    That being said, I’m white, and I can’t tell you if that’s something I would have noticed on my own. I think I was more fed up with how I didn’t like Jane than anything as nuanced as that.
    I’d argue that Rhys is harder to read than Bronte, but it is definitely worth the look if anyone wants to explore that topic further.

  9. The bra read! I am inspired. My main gripe is feeling exposed or attracting unwanted attention with nipples showing through shirts. Otherwise, of course it’s one less constraint. More comfy = more fabulous.

  10. I recently made the decision to go from wearing bras from Victoria’s Secret to unpaired, unwired, simple lace bralettes from Urban Outfitters & Cotton On and my life has changed! I love being in less material and when I grab my boobs throughout the day (cause you know we all do that!?!) I actually FEEL them and my ribs under them and it feels good to be OK with the fact that they don’t “look like perfect round circles” under my shirt because they are different sizes. At first I would wear the bralettes on the weekends and now Ives started wearing them to work and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to wearing a traditional bra. Yes I have smaller boobs & I get how if you have larger ones you might need or want more support but for me it was also about accepting the way my boobs looked imperfect from the outside too . I love this topic because I’m team #freethenip :)

  11. LOVE the tip of asking your SO what could make their week easier. I’ll try to incorporate into my relationship :)

  12. Nd'Juara says...

    Jo + team,

    I’m visiting NYC in February and I’m in search of some sort of interactive art exhibit – something similar to Pipilotti Rist’s exhibit at the New Musuem last year. I know you may not have suggestions yourself, but maybe you know of someplace that sends out a monthly newsletter featuring noteworthy exhibits happening around town? Any help is appreciated :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oooh great point! one interactive exhibit is yayoi kusama exhibit at david zwirner gallery, with two infinity mirror rooms:
      https://www.davidzwirner.com/exhibitions/yayoi-kusama

      oh shoot! it only goes til december 16th. hmm….

      Here’s an online guide that lists all the gallery exhibits by neighborhood (fyi chelsea is an especially good neighborhood for galleries): http://calendar.artcat.com/

      And nymag has a good round-up too:
      http://nymag.com/arts/art/

      I’ll keep an ear out for February stuff! xoxo

    • Nd'Juara says...

      thank you so much, Jo.
      You’re a gem/ xo

  13. Kara says...

    ok, i know it’s not just me – but coming home after work and taking off the bra is pure joy! So… braless.. do I dare?!

    • Sarah says...

      I want to try!

  14. Leah says...

    OMG. Possibly because we’ve entered serious jumper season, but I can’t remember the last time I put a bra on (except for remembering that it was hugely uncomfortable!). I work from home, so don’t really care what cat’s think! And commented on our walk into town this afternoon that I wasn’t wearing one! I’m soooo in love!

  15. ALV says...

    As much as I liked most of her article, the author of “Reading Jane Eyre While Black” is wrong about Bertha’s race. Bertha is a Creole, not a black woman (or mixed race), and so her whole argument of the “villain” of the book (which I would argue is not Bertha anyway) is incorrect.

    • Anne says...

      The Creole population is mostly mixed-race, isn’t it? A mix of French Canadian, enslaved and free black people, and Native American, plus a bunch of other groups

    • ALV says...

      No– the word Creole (as used by Bronte) would mean a white person whose family resided in the adopted country (the same applies to Lousianna etc). It doesn’t have to do with race. Bertha is not meant to be black or mixed race, though she is “native”, which paints her with another brush.

  16. Thanks for mentioning the Jane Eyre here…

  17. Lara says...

    “because escaping to other worlds is best accomplished in your underwear” is now going to be my new motto.
    Awesome piece!

  18. jona hilario says...

    Our cul-de-sac has been doing chili and wine for Halloween for many years! The couple at the end of the street turns their garage into a haunted maze and the kids come over and get tons of candy while the grown ups go inside and eat appetizers and drink wine. A neighbor makes the best chili and cornbread ever. It’s perfect for cold Ohio halloweens!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      how fun, jona!

  19. Jayme says...

    “What it is: beautyblender Nude is the ultimate foundation application tool created in a nude shade to celebrate flawless, natural-looking skin.”

    What if your flawless, natural looking skin is black, etc. Love bb but rolling my eyes at this marketing.

  20. Maria & Gaia suggested good tips for new moms. I don’t know much but I like the posts and the way they have mentioned the things. It will help new moms.

  21. Kimberly says...

    That sound machine idea is smart. Going through long labor and trying to sleep and ignore all the sounds of a busy ward was so difficult, as is sleeping your first night with your new bundle in a hospital bed.

  22. Katie says...

    Loved that article on going braless! Thanks for sharing!!

  23. Love reader Maria’s comment!!! I am so going to start doing that :)
    And also, Demetri Martin is hilarious–enjoy!

  24. Bec says...

    The joy of not wearing a bra: oh yes! Loved this piece.

  25. I really love Lauren’s secret to a happy marriage comment. My husband and I have a similar arrangement: he likes having a home cooked meal most nights, and I like having coffee delivered to me in bed each morning. #littlethings :)

  26. Helena says...

    Having to not wear a bra is my worst nightmare! Sometimes I see catchy instagram posts like “If it requires pants or a bra it’s not happening today” and I just cringe! I have big breasts and not wearing a bra is SO uncomfortable. My nipples get sore immediately from all the bopping around chafing against fabric, and the sweat trickling down, I mean NO!! Hahaha, that seems the absolute worst to me! No. A nice comfy bra is my best friend and we will never part.

    • jillpalumbo says...

      Thank you! I’m large breasted too and I can’t imagine not wearing a bra around other people. Maybe it is petty of me, but when I see a woman with breasts below her belt line, I cringe. I can’t l wear underwires, so my bras are very comfortable and I don’t mind a bit.

    • Celeste says...

      Agreed, and I’m a B/C. Bras are so comfy!

    • Heidi says...

      Thank you. I haven’t read the link yet, but in my mind I said “The person who wrote that is probably not a D cup like me.” I cant imagine happily skipping down the stairs, it would not be a light applause, it would sound like a thunderstorm! Hahaha… :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Apparently she’s a DDD! So interesting, right?

    • Sarah says...

      I am so with you! Going braless is a really unpleasant experience for me.

  27. Catarina says...

    My little boy had to have his two front teeth taken out after a fall as well. He was so brave and took it all in his stride…and now I just love his gap-toothed smile :-)

  28. Lindsay says...

    Just saw Demetri Martin! He has a bit about toast that still makes me laugh every time I think about it.
    My cousin does stand up and last minute was asked to open for Demetri, I had no idea he was doing it so it was a really fun night! You will have a great time!

  29. Lauren B says...

    Thank you for your comment Maria! I am solo-parenting this weekend, and am totally going to try including myself in the soothing.

  30. Christina says...

    I love and always look forward to the Friday afternoon ‘Have A Lovely Weekend’ blog post, but I have to say I absolutely LOVE the reader comments you’ve recently started adding to the end of the links! They never fail to connect with me in some way and it’s really made me so grateful for this community you’ve created, Joanna! XO

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’m so glad, christina! thank you for saying so!

  31. B says...

    Thanks for the New Yorker piece on going without a bra. Actually think this may be an interesting CoJ post — especially for the comments. I hate wearing a bra and I am small chested, so going without is not uncomfortable. But there seems to be such a taboo against bralessness that I would never consider going without at work and generally tend to wear one whenever I leave the house or have company. I am curious about whether this is changing, and whether these norms vary generationally, geographically and/or by industry.

    • krn says...

      I think it must vary quite a bit. Going braless wouldn’t be so-hot-instagram-rn if it wasn’t becoming more socially acceptable. To me it’s definitely a privilege that goes along with lots of other things that aren’t necessarily attainable for most people, like having a Cool Job, or being thin enough to fit into all different types of clothes.

  32. shannon says...

    This was such a good link roundup. I can’t get over the people matching artwork photos! The Jane Eyre link was very thought provoking, and the comments were as well. I’ll have to keep her views in mind on my next re-read of Jane.

  33. I love reader Lauren’s marriage tip! What a simple way to ensure that both my husband and I feel taken care of. It also helps to remember to keep the focus off of myself… I also like the noise machine at the hospital tip. Brilliant!! I am done having babies but will certainly pass this on to friends.

  34. Vicki says...

    That is a great soothing trick, Maria! For what it’s worth, whenever I see (or hear!) a mama with a tantruming child in rite-aid or anywhere else, I always *pretend* like I don’t notice but send them a secret, spiritual high-five! I heard a parenting expert say it’s great (even if inconvenient) when your kid is having a tantrum because it means they are learning to accept “no.”

  35. Huge Yes! to your share and quote from Hillary on bras. I’m 42 and since my teens have avoiding them (being super-small-breasted for sure has helped). I’ve continuously asked WHY? (As in: Why bras – NOT, why am I avoiding them. Regardless of cup size, etc., I’ve just never gotten it.)

    • P.S., No matter what, I immediately read any online comments I make and am horrified by my grammar errors. Always cringe a moment later…yet can never seem to re-read first, to avoid them.

  36. Ally says...

    I read the New Yorker bra piece earlier today and thought, “I bet Cup of Jo will link this.” Getting to know you guys! (:

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha high five, ally!

  37. I mean can I have the house for booklovers and cats? So perfect!

  38. Cannot relate at all to the bra-wearing quote ? I HATE not wearing a bra. Like, want to crawl out of my skin until I put one on in the morning (I need to sleep in a soft one more often…but then the chances of me getting dressed are lower!!). Maybe a curse of being rather large chested? It feels awful, though not in a painful way.

  39. Rachel Stelfox says...

    The New Yorker article on not wearing a bra was on point and the best read of my week. Thank you!

  40. Rosha says...

    Our daughter fell off her balance bike last year when she was 2.5 and needed to get her front tooth pulled a week later. It was so traumatizing for me, and I was so worried that she would look funny with a missing front tooth. She was so brave and is now proud to tell everyone the story. Hugs to you Joanna.

  41. Ingrid says...

    Such good links! I loved the house for book lovers and cats, the void rugs, the article on going braless (though I couldn’t), and the Black perspective of Jane Eyre. Lots to think about. Thanks for sharing. Friday’s posts are my favorite.

  42. Paige says...

    The pregnancy comments made me think of an interaction at the grocery store the other day…

    I watched a fellow young mom at the grocery store this week communicate so well with her one-year-old. “Anna, one more aisle and then we will go home.” “Anna, we aren’t getting any candy today. Maybe another time.” “Okay, Anna. We are almost done! You’ve done so well!”

    I went up to her and said how amazing I thought she was, and looked at her baby and said, “Anna, you have a great mommy!” She looked and me and said, “oh, I’m Anna!” It was all self-talk the whole time! I died and could completely relate.

    • Brittany says...

      Oh my gosh, this is too funny! I laughed out loud reading this and had to send it to my sister. I have 16 month old twins and will definitely be using lots of self-talk (OUTLOUD self-talk, at that) as they got older and more vocal at stores. Thanks for sharing this story! I will never forget it.

    • Heidi says...

      This is the BEST. I love it!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, this is amazing! hahaha, thanks for sharing :)

  43. Nina says...

    Halloween burlesque show at City Winery! I think it’s a group out of Brooklyn performing. I’m 5 months pregnant and I have a 21 month old at home. I’m excited for the show but the wine all around me will be torture!

  44. Emmanuella says...

    Awwwwww I loved Maria’s comment. ?

  45. Thank you for linking that Jane Eyre article! Took me right back to my English literature classes. Fantastic read and very thought-provoking.

  46. I love Demetri Martin! I am sure his show will be hysterical.
    My weekend plans involve going to the World Series games in Houston!