Motherhood

Help! A Parenting Question

How to Tell a Child You're Pregnant

With three years and seven months of parenting in the books, my husband and I have experienced lots of big milestones with our son, Jasper — figuring out sleep, potty training, the end of pacifiers, starting school — and we haven’t been completely and utterly stumped at any of these turning points. Until now…

I’m excited to say that I’m 20 weeks pregnant, halfway there on a huge change for our family, and pretty much the only person we know who has no idea it’s happening is Jasper. We haven’t told him yet. For a while, friends and family understood why we’ve waited: what if something were to happen to the baby early on, what if Jasper started asking every five minutes when the baby would be here, what if he were disappointed or worried or… we’ve come up with a lot of rationales. When I say them out loud they all sound designed to protect Jasper and make me feel like I’m a very relaxed mom because, what’s the rush? But if I’m being honest we’ve held off because a) we don’t really know how to tell him and b) while we can’t wait to welcome a new baby into our family, we also love how things are right now. I’d like to stay here just a little while longer.

I know Jasper will be a sweet older brother. He holds our dog’s leash with white knuckles when we cross the street, making sure he doesn’t stray too close to cars. He carefully pushes his friends’ baby siblings on the playground swings. He tucks two of his stuffed animals in my bed (one on each pillow) every night before he goes to sleep, so my husband and I won’t be lonely. And I often hear him whispering to a toy about a cool thing he did that day or telling it, “Don’t worry,” about something or other. How fun it will be for him to have a sibling to talk to! Right? Then why is telling him proving to be so hard for me?

Every once in a while, Jasper will broach the topic of a brother or sister. The last time this came up we were taking a bath together (with my burgeoning belly squeezed in between us), and he told me, “Mommy, I want to get a brother or sister. I’ll teach them how to draw.” I asked him where they would sleep. “Right here in the bathroom, where it’s so warm,” he said. And I asked what we would name them. “Netflix,” he said.

Needless to say, I would love to hear your advice on how and when to tell a first child about a new baby. Am I overthinking it? Joanna gave me The Baby Tree to read to Jasper once the cat is out of the bag, and I’m getting more excited now!

P.S. Going from one kid to two, and how to keep up your relationship after kids.

  1. Casey says...

    My son is 4 years and a few months and I’m 18 weeks preg. We took him to our first u/s visit and he has been excited from the get go. He’s old enough that I’m letting him own this. He has broken the news to everyone and will continue to be the central part of this story. I think the funnest part for me is that he is excited. I got him a Big Brother shirt on Etsy the day we told him. I recommend letting yours know and keeping him intimately involved. It could be fun!

  2. Never lie to your child! That’s my number one motto. If you feel bad about not telling him, tell him. When there is an opportunity for it, tell him. He probably figured it out anyway, if not consciously, especially if you’re tip-toeing around it. North-American mums are too scared of “traumatizing” their children and overthink everything instead of trusting their motherly instinct (yes, there is such a thing).
    Best advice I received from my daugther’s nanny for our second child. She was from Morrocco and it is a great custom from her country: buy gifts and put the gifts around the bed when the baby is born. Look, your little brother (or sister) brought you some gifts! It helps alleviates (or delay) the jealousy pangs from the first child (which are inevitable, btw, so don’t fret about these too).

  3. Ali says...

    Congratulations! We have a similar age gap between our two. We were so excited about telling our daughter about the baby because she was the last of her friends to get a sibling and she was desperate for one! We waited until after the 12 week scan and told her just before bed one night… and she was totally nonplussed! She just said ‘oh ok… er… can I still have two stories tonight?’ We just let her come to terms with it in her own way and she is the loveliest big sister – it is such a great age gap in the early phase because they relish the independence you can (have to!) give them when the baby arrives. One of the best moments of my life was when I (suddenly and urgently woke up and realised I was about to deliver the baby and with no time to call my parents as planned we dragged our poor neighbours out of bed to babysit while we dashed to the hospital and) I was saying goodbye to my daughter and she sat up in bed and with huge, earnest eyes said “mummy, it might hurt when you get to the hospital and I can’t be with you so you just have to be brave ok?’ :)
    Secondly – a tip for 20 weeks time… the best piece of advice we got about helping the older one feel special when the new baby arrives is to get them a camera as a present (we just refurbished an old mini digital camera we had and replaced the string with a ribbon) – everyone is taking photos of the baby and it makes them feel really important if they can join in. Also amidst the 997 blurry or totally inappropriate pics of my naked boobs, we found three gorgeously composed shots of our new family set up – one of which we have framed so our daughter feels so proud :)

    • stephanie says...

      I love this idea of a camera!

  4. Stacie says...

    Congrats!! We chose to tell our son (age 2 at the time) after we had found out the baby’s sex, that way we were able to tell him he’d have a baby sister soon. And we told him in such a nonchalant way.. which allowed for his excitement to grow over time. We read a lot of fun picture books about babies. We also made sure he didn’t have HUGE expectations about her, so I reminded him often that she would cry a lot and wouldn’t be able to play for a while. Our baby girl is now 6 weeks old, and our son (now 3) talks to her all the time.. telling her that she is his best friend, that she is so little and so cute, and that he loves her. I encourage him to talk to her about his day and show her his favorite toys. And when I know he’s listening from across the room, I tell her positive things about her big brother. When it’s his turn for my attention, I verbalize it aloud to his baby sister (even though the words means nothing to her now, it means a lot to him).

  5. Callie says...

    We were so excited to tell our 4 year old daughter she was getting a second sibling but waited until almost 20 weeks as we had miscarried a few months before at 13 weeks and were so afraid to give her news and then un-tell her (thankfully we didn’t tell her the first time). She is so ‘with-it’ and my belly was huge so we thought she’d already noticed. We started with ‘something big an exciting is happening for our family,’ and she interrupted and said ‘yeah, I already know that.’ We both thought ‘yes of course she does.’ Then she continued ‘the exciting thing for our family is that it’s almost Easter!!!! I already knew!!’ Girlfriend was so excited for Easter and the upcoming chocolate that when we revealed to her about the baby it already played second fiddle and she said ‘oh okay, can we talk more about Easter now?’ Oh, the priorities of a four year old.

  6. Katie. H says...

    Unfortunately, I can’t help answer your question, but I am 20 weeks pregnant this week too!

  7. Eleanor says...

    I’d just tell him! Kids pick up on things and you’d be amazed at how caring they become. We struggled with secondary infertility and I know my daughter could sense our sadness, tension and fights. So she knew almost immediately after we got pregnant via IVF. We gave her an event she could relate to (baby will be here around Thanksgiving, so after it gets cold and snowy) and that puts it in a way she won’t ask constantly. I’ve also let her help me decorate the baby’s room- at age 4 she’s such a wonderful helper and I’m glad I could share this journey with her. I bet you’ll feel the same with your son ❤️

  8. When my first one was about 2 years old, I told her we were pregnant straight away, basically as soon as I found out. When we lost the baby at 12 weeks, it was hard when she kept patting my belly and giving it kisses.
    A year later, when I was pregnant again I was uncertain wether to tell her or not. I waited a little longer, but wanted her to be a part of it. Even if it would go wrong again.
    Well, everything worked out well, and I am 32 weeks now! And I love how she has been a part of this… she talks to the baby and gives him kisses. I also thinks she needs the time to let it sink in that there will be a baby some day, process it. Understand already now that sometimes she has to wait a little because I can’t do everything as easily, and gradually learn that it is not only about her anymore. But I also don’t overdo it. A lot of time I don’t mention the baby or belly, and it’s just the two of us! Finding a balance is important but hard! And as hard as it can be to let go of the life as it is now, sharing a pregnancy with him is going to be beautiful, you’ll see :)

  9. Jennifer says...

    I understand your concern, your Jasper is the most important and most amazing thing to happen to your family and you want him to know he will will never come second in your heart. I think go with his first asking for a sibling. Tell him he is going to get one and that they are going to love him soooo much! Pick out a gift for Jasper (from the baby) to give to him when he first meets his sibling. Know that you will make time for him when the baby comes. Let him see you put the baby down in a bouncy chair or safely on a play mat near the two of you but dedicate that time for just you and Jasper. Let Jasper help as much as he can and open up his world to loving a sibling as much as he loves you and your husband. Congratulations!

  10. Oh, don’t wait — that way you can start training him in bringing you diapers and folding baby blankets! #babyintern

  11. Christina says...

    You are definitely overthinking it!

  12. Allie says...

    Congratulations! I do think this is a case where we can all overthink it. We were nervous about telling my daughter and when I finally said something like “there’s a baby growing in my belly”, (right around 20 weeks) she looked up at me and said “oh yeah, I know!”. At the time she was barely 2 and we were just floored! We expected all of these questions and she was like…guys…relax. We did like the book “Hello In there” and read it during my pregnancy. Keep us all posted!

  13. Erin says...

    We told our older son that we were expecting #2 when he was barely 3. Us, excitedly: “Hey, do you want a little brother or little sister?” Him, flatly: “No.” But he came around to the idea pretty fast, and we have the *sweetest* photo of bringing the new baby home where the baby is in his car seat (we had JUST walked in the front door) making a confused newborn face while his big brother “shows him my toys!!!!” with great enthusiasm.

  14. Aww he’s going to be such a good big brother! I’m sure telling him will be a lot easier than us explaining to our high maintenance only child Frenchie he’s going to be a big brother ;) So far he just stares blankly into space ignoring us whenever the word baby is mentioned

  15. Genevieve says...

    Read Peaceful Parents Happy Siblings! I’m not a huge parenting-book-reader but this one was easy to follow and super helpful. I didn’t read it until after our 2nd baby was born and our 4 year old was having some trouble and wished I’d read it before.

  16. Soooooooo excited for you Lexi!! AND – I have to send you the video of how we told G+L about baby #3. Totally on a whim – both the telling + the recording. If you remember or are able, I recommend recording it. So so thrilled for all of you. XOXOXO

    • Allison says...

      I totally second this recommendation to take video of the moment you share the news! I am 20 weeks pregnant too, and my husband did this on a whim when I told our 3 and 5 year old daughters they were getting a baby brother. The look of wonder and joy on our 5 year old’s face was priceless. We have watched the video so many times and shared with family. (Our 3 year old took the news more stoically, but she had just turned 3 and has never expressed any desire for a younger sibling. :))

  17. aubrey says...

    I agree with so many things said above!!

    One piece of advice that stuck with me after our daughter was born (our son was nearly three at the time), was to verbalize the concept of waiting or taking turns to both kids. It can be tough in the beginning– always telling the oldest to “wait until I’m done feeding your sister” or “we will read that book after I put sister down for her nap” or “it’s not your turn to lay with me” etc…. I felt like poor Matthew (my oldest) was always being told to wait…. a friend suggested to speak out-loud to Margaret (our youngest) when it was Matthew’s turn. So for example I was telling my 2 week old daughter, “Ok Margaret, now it’s Matthew’s turn to lay with me on the bed.” or “Margaret, I need you to wait until I’m done reading to Matthew.” Sometimes it felt totally silly (because she was often asleep when I was telling her to “wait,” and sometimes it meant letting her cry for an extra 15 seconds… but I could tell that Matthew was aware of the concept of taking turns enough to know that things were more fair when I verbalized the turn taking and waiting to his (mostly asleep and/or crying) baby sister.

    • May says...

      I’m 36 weeks and I can tell this is going to be an excellent approach for us to use with my almost-2-year-old and new brother.

  18. Michele says...

    Yeah. You know he already knows. Stop sweating it so much. Kids are amazing like that. Love the name “Netflix” too. Maybe as a middle name though? Lol (Congrats!)

  19. Melissa says...

    Sounds like your son will be so excited! We have three kids, never made a big deal about adding the second or third, and the kids were cute and curious but not too worried about it. I’d say don’t worry, don’t overthink, just say, yeah! Let’s get you a sibling after Christmas. :)

  20. Noreen says...

    When I was pregnant with my 2nd, we found an infant pacifier from my then 2 1/2 year old son. We told him it had been his and that he could give it to the baby when he/she arrived…that it was his FIRST of many “jobs” as a big brother. He really latched on to the idea of a new role.

    He walked in the hospital to see me and baby brother, he was dressed up and carrying the paci in a special box and strode in so confidently. “Hi! I’m your brother! This is for you! You are small.” I can’t hold back the tears typing this…it was one of the best moments of my life. ENJOY, MAMA!!

    • Sarah says...

      That made me tear up

    • Tara says...

      Tears.

    • Rachel says...

      Tears here, too!

  21. Alex says...

    With baby #2 we told our oldest at my first appointment (he saw the heartbeat on the 7 week ultrasound). From then on I had an app that showed baby’s development and we looked at it occasionally. It helped him process and gave me a chance to be off hand in comments like “when your baby sibling is here you won’t be able to wrestle right away because they’ll be fragile…when your baby sibling is here, you’ll be able to be a big helper!” Now with #3 on the way we let him announce to our family. He’s way more intrigued this time around (he’s 5) and wants to know when baby opens their eyes, forms toes etc. But our second child is 2 and pretty much oblivious except for asking to “see the baby.”

  22. Janet says...

    We actually wanted our oldest to know during as much of the pregnancy as possible so we could talk about it A LOT and make sure he was as prepared as possible. Telling him was really low key and not terribly special because we didn’t want to alarm him in any way. During my pregnancy, I used every opportunity to talk with him about what things would change, what would be the same, and what he could do to let us know if he was struggling. Our plan worked really great, and we had almost zero issues with jealousy. So my advice would be to get the news to your little one as soon as you can, with little fanfare, and talk about the little and big ways the baby will or won’t affect your life as often as possible.

  23. Hanna says...

    I agree with Julee’s wise words, “don’t be too precious about telling your son and don’t wait too long either. If your positive and matter of fact, you’ll se everyone at ease with the telling of this awesome news”.
    We told my then 2.5y old that we, as a family, were expecting a baby at about 6w. This may seem early but we told the rest of the family at the same time. I’m horrible with secrets, especially exciting ones. My friend gave me some advice that resonated with me. She advised us not to say to our daughter, “we love you so much, we decided to make another baby”. She likened it to a husband saying to a wife, “i love you so much that I decided to marry a second woman”. Perhaps the example seems extreme but it made sense to me. We simply said that we had made a baby that was growing in my tummy. We continued talking about it throughout the pregnancy but in an undramatic way. And we NEVER used the expression “new baby”, instead simply baby, little brother, or Finn. As many of her preschool friends already had siblings, she was familiar with the concept. That said, nothing fully prepares you for a baby, either as parents or as siblings :-) We talked a lot about what was going to happen when the baby decided it was time to come. How she would have a slumper party with my parents and we would go to the hospital to have the baby. And that we may/may not stay for a few days to rest but that she could come & visit. And that when we came home we could all sit in bed together with blankets and get to know each other. We also made sure to tell her that babies are pretty boring in the begining. That they cry a lot because they cannot express with words what they want, and that this can be frustrating both for us as parents and her as a sister (I am not ashamed as a mother to say that newborns are not my favorite. I love my children endlessly but the newborn period, in my opinion, is rough). And that basically all they do is sleep, eat, and poo. She looked at our ultrasounds and wanted to see her own from when I was pregnant with her. She wanted to feel the baby move and would talk to him through my belly. It was exciting but at the same time undramatic. Does that even make sense?
    Anyway, 10lbs 6oz baby Finn was born 5w early (on x-mas eve no less) and spent 3w in the nicu. Needless to say, what we had prepared her for did not happen. She took it in stride and was overjoyed when she came to the nicu to see him (In Sweden, where I live, all family, including siblings, are allowed in the nicu). Every so often she’ll say, “poor Finny was so sick, he almost died. But he’s ok now”. She has been wonderful with him from the get go. It’s actually become more of an issue now when he’s mobile and is starting to take her toys :-D I will not lie and say that jealousy hasn’t reared its head, she is 3.5 after all, but it has been reasonable and easily fixed with extra hugs & cuddles, one-on-one time, and explanantions as to why Finn sometimes needs attention first because he’s too little to understand how to wait and, that as soon as he’s taken care of, she will have my full attention.
    I also strongly recommend the Daniel Tiger episodes when they tackle the subject of babies. There is one when they tell him, one when baby Margret is born, how one has to wait for attention sometimes, how playtime is different when there is a little sibling, etc. We found them very helpful & fun.
    Sorry for the long comment :-) Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with your son. It will all be ok, kids are more understanding, resiliant, and loving than we give them credit for.

  24. We did it the other way around. We told our son first, then he told his grandparents and only then came everybody else. Our little one is now 4 and he’s been asking for a little brother or sister for a while now. We told him just as we would a grown up. He was really really happy! Which is why we waited 3 months to tell him – he immediately shared the news every chance he got! :)
    Now that there’s a visible baby belly he’s been talking to her, kissing her, he wishes her good morning and good night basically every day. But he also has a lot of questions and we try to answer them as realistically as possible. The ones about delivery have been quite challenging but interestingly enough there haven’t been a lot of questions about conception. Mostly he asks what’s she’s been doing, how big is she and what will she be able to do once she comes out.

  25. julia says...

    Oh my goodness. My 5 yo wanted to name her little brother Netflix too!

    On the topic of telling her, one say when I was around 6 months, she flicked my stomach and said’ “Is there a baby in that thing?”

    • Hanna says...

      Hahahahaha! Love it! What a cutie!

  26. Melissa says...

    Our daughter had just turned 3, and I was 8 weeks or so. I was so morning sick and I wanted her to understand why. As others have said, they’ll take a cue from your tone. I was somewhat concerned about telling her so long before the birth, and she didn’t have much of an initial reaction, but now I’m glad we have this time to adjust to the reality; she is more and more interested all the time. One thought – we made a point of telling her “we” are having a baby”, meaning you, me and daddy – it felt more inclusive.

  27. Anela says...

    I highly recommend bringing Jasper to your OB/midwife appointments. That was one of my favorite things for my daughter when I was pregnant. She was 2 and the midwife made the appointment all about her being a big sister, a big helper, and listening to the thumpthumpthump. It was a very sweet time.

  28. Kerri says...

    We didn’t really have to tell our oldest son (3 at the time) that he was going to be a big brother again because the day after I took the pregnancy test he randomly shouted from the back seat of the car, “Hey mama, did you know you’re growing my baby brother in your tummy?” How did he knooowwwww?!! And sure enough, it was indeed a baby brother 😂

  29. Sara says...

    My girls are 22 months apart, and when my second daughter was born I was worried about making my older daughter feel jealous or replaced. I feel like being so worried I, in some ways, missed out on enjoying as much newborn cuddles and sweetness as I should have had with my second baby. I still feel a bit of guilt and regret about it and she will be 2 this winter.

    I say celebrate the arrival, share the happy news. You are in for a wild ride with two kiddos, but it sure is wonderful watching their sibling relationship grow. Good luck, mama!

  30. Jess says...

    We have three kids and we told each one the next was on the way as soon as we had the first sonogram prints, and we let the kids keep a sonogram print out so they could ask questions or talk about the baby whenever they wanted. I also found a book that showed baby development week by week with photos so they could connect the process without having too much information. I was worried about miscarriage and how to share that with the kids, but after talking with friends and getting their experiences we decided that if we lost a baby we would be open with the kids and let them mourn in their way and simply all walk together through it. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, I hope it is a sweet time of change for you all.

  31. Ash says...

    We just told our two year old a few weeks ago and I was definitely more nervous to tell him than anyone else. I feel you!

    We sat at the dining table and my husband told my son that we had a surprise. When we revealed the news, he climbed out of his high chair to immediately lift up my shirt to see my belly and said “baby, come out!” Every now and then he brings it up but I think it does make him slightly uncomfortable. I played the heartbeat for him and he was not a fan. We have six months to go so we’re trying to be pretty casual about it for now. Good luck!

  32. Julee says...

    Don’t be too precious about telling your son and don’t wait too long, either.
    If you’re positive and matter of fact, you’ll set everyone at ease with the telling of this awesome news.

  33. Stephanie says...

    We told just 2 year old son there was a new baby coming and the first thing out of his mouth was, “I know.” He was excited (naming our daughter Fat Caterpillar after The Very Hungry Caterpillar) and telling other he was having a sister before we even knew we were having a girl. Unfortunately, our daughter Valentine had a genetic defect and died at 21 weeks gestation. I understand the fear of telling your son. Any age seems too early for possibly having to tell your child their baby died. But they are smart. And intuitive. He probably knows more than you realize.
    We are expecting again and our son knows again (like a mind reading, almost 3 year old ninja!) and with our anxiety through the roof, we are trying to be as honest as possible. It seems to work best for our guy!
    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Babies are a true blessing.

  34. Diana McNeill says...

    omg, the name Netflix. i am laughing so, so hard right now. ahahahhaha. omg. seriously. HAHA. hilarious!

  35. Elizabeth says...

    Little Miss, Big Sis is an adorable book for a little girl who is about to get a sibling. My five year old loved it! I highly recommend it!

  36. We told my son who was about 18 months when we got pregnant at 20 weeks. We told him over and over and over again but didn’t know if he understood. When my daughter was born he was 2 1/2. He marched right into the room and demanded we let him hold her. He said it was his baby! And they are still close at ages 2 and 4 and he still calls my daughter his baby. There was no sadness about losing a relationship with my only child because what we gained as a family was so much more. Witnessing that bond between my children- there hasn’t been anything like it. It’s so special. And children understand a lot more than we think they do!

  37. Callie says...

    Mine are only 17 months apart and I worried and worried about how to tell my then-still-not-yet-verbal son (practically still a baby himself) about his sister’s imminent arrival. I was constantly googling how to prepare older siblings and all the advice seemed directed to preschoolers or at least older toddlers. I ended up doing it early and often–although of course I’m not sure it soaked in at all until she got here and also since he was still pre-verbal for the majority of my pregnancy (and honestly only had a handful of words that only myself and my husband understood once she was born) so there was no risk that he’d “let the cat out of the bag” before I was ready for the news to be public. I ended up on bedrest at the end of my pregnancy and then my daughter came early so I think for him the biggest impact was just that mama wasn’t as available for him (and wasn’t allowed to pick him up because of pre-term labor and then afterwards because of a csection) for those 2-3 months rather than the impact of a new family member. It was really hard (maybe more so on me than on him) and I wouldn’t have ever thought to prepare him for that aspect (nor do I know how I would have).

    I’m following the conversation though because I don’t know how I’ll handle the news-telling to our son and daughter when/if we (hopefully) have a third.

  38. Siga says...

    We told our daughter quite early when I was expecting number 2 and then 3. She LOVED hearing each day how big the baby was in the belly and could hardly wait till the baby was as big as watermelon because she knew that was the time for the baby to come out.

  39. what wonderful news! our daughter was 2 when we told her so i think it made it easier since she was so young. but one thing i remember that i think would be helpful for any young child is not to place too much emphasis on one big reveal. give it importance, of course, but kids so often take things in over time and then one day it all clicks. another thing i have such a clear memory of is feeling a little sad that our family of 3 had changed – of course we were over the moon in love with our new son but it was different. i think giving yourself permission to feel that way helps and then of course one day we just were 4 and no longer 3 and that wistful feeling was gone. good luck and congratulations!!

  40. Wendy says...

    Congratulations Lexi! We got the book “One Special Day” by Lola Schaefer to read with our sons when we shared the news of #3. I’ve held onto this one even as we’ve purged books over the years.

  41. Melissa says...

    My son is 3.5 and I am 18 weeks pregnant. We told our son about his future sibling when I was around 15 weeks. We bought him a book “You are going to be a big brother” and read it to him and then told him. Honestly he didn’t have much of a reaction. As the weeks have passed it has been pretty cute because he now wants to kiss the baby (my stomach). He doesn’t really bring it up much, it doesn’t affect his day to day life. Every now and then I tell him that I went to the doctor and got to hear the baby’s heart beat. Then he says he wants a baby sister and we discuss names. I am a little worried that the baby will be a boy and he will be disappointed, but we will deal with that! Our lives have continued as normal, we don’t focus much on the baby, so it really still feels like it is just the three of us. It was hard for me to decide when to tell him because I was worried that something would happen to the baby, or might still, and he would be sad. But the truth is, if something happens then he would know from my husband and I’s reactions and feelings. We wouldn’t be able to hide that, or want to. Also, I think that although he vaguely understands that there is a baby, it isn’t a real thing for him, and won’t be until it is born. Like others have said, tell him when you feel comfortable, but it really feels good to tell and not have it hanging around your head worrying you! If he already wants a sibling he will probably be thrilled! But then will probably move on with his life. :)

  42. Cindy says...

    Congrats, Lexi! So happy for you and your family!!! I have no advice for telling Jasper…I had twins and I’m pretty sure each knew the other was there :)

  43. justine says...

    Sounds like he will take the news easily if he’s already asking for a brother or sister and saying how he will take care of it.

  44. Maria says...

    Congratulations! I have a 3,5 year old and am also 20 weeks pregnant. I told my daughter about the new baby right after I told my colleagues at work (I didn’t want her to spread the news ;-)) For me it was hard not to tell her the first 3 months, as we had to be so careful not to talk about the baby next to her. Finally we sat down with her and talked about autumn and winter to come and that when winter ends a baby – now in my belly – will move in with us. At first she responded not at all and just kept playing but the day after she asked if the baby was still there, neither worried nor excited. It took her a while to get familiar with the thought and we try not to overdo the topic with her. Now she seems really happy and proudly tells other people that she is going to be a big sister, touches my belly and talks and sings to her future sister. For us it was right not to make telling her a huge deal and to give our daughter all the time she needs to respond and most importantly not to expect any special response. There is plenty of time to prepare anyway :-)

  45. Jenn says...

    I had my first child, our daughter, at 38. We struggled to get pregnant with #2. MY OB told me that if we were able to get pregnant again (which we wouldn’t, without donor eggs and IVF according to her), we would miscarry. I got pregnant at 40. We knew that the odds of us being able to get pregnant again were probably zero and because we were told that we would miscarry, we didn’t want to prepare our daughter for a sibling that she would never have – we wouldn’t have another chance. At 8 months pregnant, we finally told her. She has just turned 3. A month later her little brother was born. I was 41. And half. She’s 6 now and my son is 3.

  46. I absolutely loved sharing my pregnancies with my older children. It made it more of a family experience. We were all going to be part of the new life that was coming and it was important for my kid(s) to feel part of it. They loved sharing in our excitement! You can still enjoy the time you have left with your son as the only child, while still getting excited for the changes ahead!

  47. Even though it feels like when you tell your son you’ll “loose” something: the bubble of the three of you, his feeling of being your baby, etc. You will gain a lot. I am pregnant with my 3rd and both times I told my other children when I entered my second trimester (and they were both about 2 years old). We sat them down and told them that there was going to be a change and about the baby and being “big sisters”. We bought books (“The Baby Tree” is great but there is also the simple “I’m a Big Brother/ Sister”, plus “Babies Ruin Everything”). And once they knew we are able to incorporate them. We ask them if they think it will be a girl or a boy, or what names they like. They talk to the baby and kiss the baby good night. They start getting involved which is special. One other recommendation: make a picture baby book for your oldest. For each girl when I told them about the new baby I had a picture book of baby photos from their first year (starting with me pregnant with them, then their birth, etc). That connects them to the experience and reminds them that they are special too.

    • june2 says...

      That is a great idea, the picture book of their own pregnancy and babyhood!

    • justine says...

      That is lovely. What great advice. Thanks.

  48. Rob says...

    Exciting!

    We read the baby tree to our older son, as well as other family/sibling/new baby books.

    I think talking about it and sharing the joy and getting your son into the idea are all good things to do now.

    When our second baby was born, we did a gift exchange between brothers. We got a gift from the newborn to give to our older son, and our older son came with me to the hospital gift shop to pick out a few gifts for the new baby.

    More importantly, it’s what you do when the new baby has arrived! Don’t forget to give your older guy lots of attention!

  49. Liz says...

    We told our daughter (who was around 2 at the time) as soon as we started telling other people. We knew she’d pick up on it and preferred that she hear from us than from deducing it from overhearing other conversations or having somebody mistakenly ask her about it.

  50. n says...

    Congrats, Lexi! I’m super early in my second pregnancy and while I am so happy, part of me is mourning the end of our life as three. That said, our three year old totally know something is up (I am vomiting constantly), but we’re waiting for the second trimester to tell him because he repeats EVERYTHING.

  51. Kelly says...

    Awww, congrats! with so much great advice in the comments, i’m sure you’ll figure out the right way to tell him, and it will all work out great!

    would love to see a post on telling young children that you are adopting a sibling…the adoption process is much less predictable and I really struggled with how and when to let my daughter know we were adopting. In line with all the comments that people have shared that kids know more than we give them credit for, one day when she was 4 she just started asking me when we were getting ‘our baby’ . I went with this opening and told her that we were waiting for a baby but didn’t know how long we’d have to wait, and we’d have to be patient.

    Over the next year, we didn’t share any details with her on the 8 (!!!) times we were presented only to not get chosen. It was a tough emotional roller coaster and maybe she noticed something but it never came up in an explicit way. She did continually ask when the baby was coming and it was so difficult to not have answers! We finally did tell her when we were officially matched but it was still risky as the baby was born but the birthmother hadn’t signed the papers yet. We endured a looong 2 weeks waiting for paperwork, with my older daughter so excited while my husband and I were gray with worry over whether or not the adoption would go through. Finally brought home a little sister and now our family line is, we had to wait a long time, but we got the perfect baby for us!

  52. I have a two year old and although we aren’t expecting a baby yet, after reading your story it made me want to call my wife and ask her to get ready because I can’t wait to give my son a baby sibling. When my wife and I were pregnant, the thought that caused us the most anxiety was that something would happen that would interrupt the pregnancy. We did our best to deal with it, but it was always there. Now, with our two year old, the thought of having to share that anxiety with him makes it even more intense. As caring parents, we want to prevent our son from experiencing any kind of pain. At the same time, it is such a beautiful experience that I can’t wait to share it with my son (hopefully!)

    • june2 says...

      Whatever happens will be a teaching, learning, growing experience for all of you. The worst thing you can do is neglect to teach your child how to handle the difficult things in life. You sound like an excellent parent – I’m sure your children will be stellar : )

  53. Lauren says...

    We told our daughter early on (she was 2 when we found out we were expecting). I think what helped a lot was that her best friend was a big sister already and she LOVES both of those girls – so putting it in terms of “You’re going to be a big sister, just like your best friend!” really helped her little self get excited. She couldn’t wait to take care of her little sibling just like she saw her friend do all the time. Congratulations!!

  54. aliya says...

    I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second (my daughter is two and a half) and we experienced a loss between her and this one, so I totally get waiting until you feel like the moment is right.

    We told her when I was mid-20 weeks, and we just did it very nonchalant. “Hey, did you know there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy? Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”

    I think in response to how relaxed we were, she was also very relaxed about it. Now that my belly is huge and I’m waddling around, she’ll often come up to my belly, give it a kiss, and say “hi baby, i love you baby” it is the SWEETEST. My advice would be to play it cool, and follow your kid’s lead. If he is anxious, address that. If he’s excited, be excited too! If he’s nonchalant, that’s cool as well.

    Congrats on your pregnancy :)

    • justine says...

      good advice!

  55. Jackie says...

    These stories always make my heart ache as I remember preparing our 3-year-old son to meet his baby sister, who was then stillborn at full term. I have since resented those preparatory kids’ stories we read to him about welcoming a new baby into the family. I remember finding one of these books when I was packing away all of the unused baby things and feeling so angry that we had “lied” to our son about the certainty of future events, something we just couldn’t know for certain. I realise this doesn’t mean you prepare kids for all of the unlikely eventualities! Too much for their brains and hearts. But it does make me grieve afresh that my son didn’t get to enjoy the blessings (and frustrations) of a promised sibling.

    I’m sorry if this comment is totally inappropriate in the context of this article. It is wondrous, miraculous news that you have your second on his/her way. Your family has already grown, your son is already a brother, you are already Mom to this precious little one. All the best for his/her arrival!

    • Jennifer says...

      Thank you for sharing your story – I think it’s completely appropriate to share here – when you had the same question it ended sadly and that’s real. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Mia says...

      I’m so, so sorry. I can’t imagine your pain

    • Kari says...

      We also had a full term stillborn, our third. I feel the same way. I have a hard time with comments like, “we waited until we were in the clear at 12 weeks”, or “after the 20 week ultra sound once we knew everything was fine”. The fact is, no one knows for certain with pregnancy, or life in general, when it may end and I think its important to be honest with kids about that. But, also honest that the child is a big brother or sister regardless of the outcome and that child, live or dead, will always be a part of the family.

    • Emma says...

      I’m so sorry Jackie. My heart hurts for you.

    • justine says...

      Jackie, I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Laura C. says...

      Jackie and Kari, I’m so sorry for yor loss. I wish you all the best.

  56. Emily says...

    The only advice I have is to not tell your first child like I told mine! We were on a layover in the Dallas airport and my then 3 year old was tantruming because he was tired and we couldn’t find any chocolate milk. So I took him to the bathroom to change his pull-up and he was so beside himself, and I was desperate because I was flying alone and I was worried about missing our flight, so I blurted out thinking I could distract him: “Mommy has a baby in her belly and you’re going to be a big brother!” Cue full-on hysterics!!! Apparently, this was not great news in his opinion and I had an even bigger mess on my hands. Eventually he calmed down and we made it on our flight. I still have no idea why I thought that was the time and place to break the news to him! Can I blame baby brain? Now his little brother is almost 2 and they are the best of friends. Thank goodness!!!

  57. VP says...

    I am also expecting my second baby, and my first will be 2 soon. We started out with asking our daughter if she wanted a baby brother or sister, to which she keeps saying “No.” Very matter of fact lol. But I agree with many other women here that it’s best just to tell him. It also sounds like he really wants a baby sibling, so the news will make him so happy!

  58. My little guy (who will be 4 years old in a few weeks) got a baby brother in July. We told him about the baby around 4 or 5 months, when we knew that it was going to be a boy, and showed him a picture of the ultrasound so it seemed more tangible. At first he was like “okay cool” and we were like “that’s it???”, but I managed to work fun ideas and things to look forward to (like bunk beds!) into our conversations all the time leading up to when his little brother was born. He also loves trucks, so we got this book: https://www.amazon.com/Digger-Man-Andrea-Zimmerman/dp/1627794441

  59. Di says...

    My younger brother was born when I was 3.5. I actually have a vague memory of my mom talking to me very seriously beforehand and giving me a cushion she sewed, with a picture of a teddy bear on one side and a baby on the other. The funniest thing is, I can remember how I felt at the time, like, “Huh, that was a bit strange and new, nice cushion, cool!” I asked her about it as an adult and she said she had been worried that I would have a hard time with the new baby because I was a little older and was used to being the baby (I have an older brother too). So she sat me down and told me I’d always be her little girl, she’d always love me the same, etc. I think it’s so sweet that she did that and it made enough of an impression on me that it is one of my earliest memories.

  60. Mona says...

    My daughter was four when we told her. We bought her a new doll family for her dollhouse and wrapped each doll individually so she would first open the little girl doll, then mama and papa. And then she opened the baby doll. We talked about our family and how it was growing. We also gave her a little crib for her baby to add to the dollhouse. It was wonderful for her to visualize her growing family, and play out how our roles would be changing (including her becoming a caring, nurturing big sister!).
    Good luck!

    • That’s precious!

  61. Marla says...

    Overthinking! When you tell your little guy and he may or may not have any reaction. By telling him, you won’t be changing the wonderful few months you have left as a family of three. Once he knows it will back to life as usual. I can tell you from experience. I lost my second pregnancy at 20+ weeks. My toddler knew I was pregnant and we had to then tell her I wasn’t anymore. To her, with her limited life experience, it was “Oh – can I have Cheddar Bunnies.” She didn’t dwell on it at all. With my next pregnancy we told her at about 12 weeks along. Now at 19 she doesn’t remember me being pregnant either time. What seems so important to us is such a little blip on our kids radar!
    Congrats! Relax! Enjoy!

  62. mallory says...

    Netflix! LOL!

    My 2.5 yr old daughter figured it out on her own when I was pregnant with our 2nd. We were waiting to tell her mainly because 40 weeks is an eternity to a toddler, and I wanted to spare ourselves the daily “when is the baby here?” question for so long. But one day she came up to me and said, “mama, there’s a baby in your belly.” I was shocked! We’d been talking about it around her but in terms I didn’t think she’d understand. Apparently I underestimated her.

    She was so excited, and just thrilled to finally meet her baby sister. The excitement wore off in a matter of hours though, when she realized her baby sister didn’t actually do anything. She was largely apathetic towards her sister until she could interact more. Now at 4 yrs and 15 months, they play together all the time, shrieking and giggling and getting into mischief together, and it is just the sweetest!

  63. Joanna says...

    We also waited until after our anatomy scan (20 week ultrasound) to tell our 3.5 year old about the pregnancy. We wanted to spare him if there was a problem. Then we showed him the pictures at dinner and explained that I was pregnant. He didn’t believe me and told me it was a food baby. He got kind of angry that we were tricking him and wouldn’t admit it. But the next day he hopped out of his stroller as I was pushing it up a hill to his school: “Mama! I can walk! Pushing me might hurt our baby!”

    Love that kid. It sounds like your son will be the same. We’ve never had any issues with jealousy or anger since and we’re now 6 months into #2 being in the world. He’s a proud, confident big brother and loves to tell people about her and help take care of her.

    Having him in a mixed-aged classroom for preschool also seemed to help: he knows that babies don’t know all the rules and need more help from adults than he does.

    Congrats and don’t worry!! And soak up the time with your son now. The last long afternoon and evening I spent with him…at the park, kicking a soccer ball around, rushing to find a cafe so he could poop (!!!) …before I went into labor (the next afternoon) is one of my favorite memories as a mom.

  64. Clare says...

    We have a similarly spaced pair of boys, and the telling was exciting for him – he had wanted a baby sibling, just like his friends. We got a couple of books about it, so he could read about becoming a big brother, and what that meant. It was nice to borrow someone else’s words when painting that picture. I liked having him know for a while, so he could process the idea, and start to think about what it would be like to have a baby brother. For instance, we got him thinking about his room becoming “the brothers’ room,” since they would have to share at some point. Best of luck and congratulations!

  65. Laura C. says...

    My eldest was almost two years old when I got pregnant. Just tell him, that you have a baby in your bellyand your belly will grow up and then you’ll deliver a baby brother or sister. Just as simple, dear Lexi. Get him involved as soon as possible, and remember to get him a present “from the baby”. That worked great on us! And congratulations darling!

    • Melissa says...

      Our 2nd child was born last week, just 2 days before our 1st turned 3. What Laura suggests is exactly what we did. We also made sure to get a few books about becoming a big brother and have been reading them for a few months. So far things have gone really well. He gets a little frustrated that mommy can’t always do things because I’m busy feeding the baby, but finding ways to have him “help” me has really helped. He loves when I have him bring me a receiving blanket or something, even if I don’t really need it.

    • Laura C. says...

      Congratulations Melissa on your newborn! Now you’re having double of everything ;)
      Mine are 6 and 4 years old now and they are perfect in their own way.

  66. My daughter was about 3.5 years old when we were pregnant with her little sister. We told her when we were ready to tell everyone else (there is no way she would be able to keep a secret). We really just told her that we had some exciting news and she was going to get a little sister. We didn’t make a huge deal about it and really only talked about it when she brought it up. She was so excited to have a sister so she talked about it a lot.

  67. Marie says...

    Well, it seems all you have to worry about is how to break it to Jasper that you will not be naming the baby “Netflix”!!!!! LOL Congratulations, and good luck. I think sitting down with him and sharing the exciting news and talking about all the ways he will be able to help and play with the baby, but also that you will still (insert favorite rituals here), will be all he needs. He sounds like my son, who is a total baby whisperer. He can calm down babies and talk down toddlers like a pro!!!!

  68. Jessica says...

    My twins were not yet 2 when I became pregnant with our third. We bought them two books by Rachel Fuller, My New Baby and Waiting For Baby. We also bought them each a baby doll to play with. I’m not sure if they completely ever understood because they were so young, but they have always been loving and open toward her and very accepting of her, so I’d like to think that it helped.

  69. Emma says...

    Congratulations!
    What works for us (kids now 9, 12 and 14) is my introducing new ideas/events without fanfare. I don’t necessarily make them “no big deal” (I want to acknowledge that they may feel that it’s a big deal) but I don’t fuss. Whether it’s time for a flu vaccine, thoughts on adopting a new baby or hot political issues…All part of normal dinner table conversation. Of course it has to be adjusted to their developmental age, but I have found that the more anxious or worried I am, the more they read it as an event worthy of those emotions and that can cause upset. Once the baby is born, similar approach. We celebrated and oooh’d and ahhhh’d over the baby WITH the big sibling. Role-modeling that we are welcoming this new one into the family and not ‘hiding’ or ‘protecting’ the big sib from the disruption. In the end no matter your approach it likely depends greatly on Jasper’s personality and flexibility. There are no wrong approaches or reactions when it comes with love and the best intentions :) All the best!

  70. Megan says...

    Our first was only 15 months when I got pregnant with #2, so I did not struggle with how to tell her. It was more like tell her as much as possible to lessen the shock when it happens. BUT, I really struggled with our sweet (and predictable) little family dynamic changing. What helped me was to realize that having a sibling would bring out a different part of my daughter that I could never draw out of her. So, she would actually become more of herself with a sibling than she would be without, and that has been so exciting to watch. Best of luck!

  71. Robin says...

    We told my older son around 25 weeks I think. Pretty late. He was a little younger than Jasper (3 1/4 yr gap). I delayed it too – partly because I wanted to tell him the sex of the baby – but it was fine. I can’t remember my exact words but I kept it simple and it wasn’t a big deal in the end. He loved touching my belly and talking about what he would teach the baby and now he is a very sweet and understanding big brother to my now 1 year old :). Even the day my youngest was born he took completely in his stride. They can manage more than we give them credit for!

  72. Kathleen says...

    My son had just turned two when I found out I was pregnant, and about a months later I began non-stop vomiting. He knew something was up, and we told him that my belly was working hard to try to grow a baby. We were careful about our words, and cautious about too much information… but as soon as we told him, his eyes got huge and he said, “Mama, MY belly is growing a baby, TOO!!!”

    He was sweetly “pregnant” through my first two trimesters, and even named both of our babies. Apparently, this is really common and a great way for some kids to process what’s going on. After his sister was born, he also turned a little stuffed squirrel into his baby. He would swaddle, rock, and even sit in the glider and pull up his shirt to nurse that sweet little squirrel!

    All that to say, I think every kid responds and processes differently… for us, it was just about being open to his responses and taking his cues!

  73. Keep in mind that kids at this age live so in the moment and they are incredibly resilient. If you are looking for more books to read, there is a great Bearenstain Bears book about when Sister Bear was born and Brother and Papa go into the woods to make a new bed for Brother because the baby will need Brother’s old bed. It’s really sweet. I tend to turn to that series for any “big talk” I need help with.

    • Renee says...

      OMG! My mom told me she read my brothers that book when she was telling them about me. I’m 25 for reference, so that book has stood the test of time. I don’t have kids, but I find this conversation fascinating, as I am the youngest with a big age gap, and was the only girl. It’s kind of funny that I don’t know my mom or parents in the mode of ‘getting ready for baby’ and my brothers do. Maybe I’m a little jealous. lol, no one ever told me I was getting sibling(s) they were just there already.

  74. Katie Sherman says...

    We had a few miscarriages in between our first child and our second one. And I desperately wanted to tell my sweet daughter. She could see that I was sad. She could tell that something was happening (even as a 3 year old). And, most notably, she noticed a distance between she and I. That I was holding back. When I got pregnant with her sister, I finally wanted to tell her what was happening in our household. I sat her down on the bed and said, “Mom has been sad lately. We want to give you a brother or sister but the babies keep going away. But now mommy has a baby in her belly. Let’s say a prayer that it’s healthy.” She put both her little hands on the side of my cheeks and said, “I can’t take care of you if you don’t tell me.” Sometimes she still mentions the brothers and sisters that “left us” but she also appreciates her sister all the more for being our survivor.

    It’s easy to love your life with one. I still appreciate the alone time I have with each of my girls. But hearing them laugh and play and talk to each other at night (my youngest is now 19 months), makes all the struggles (even the struggle to tell your oldest), all the better. After all, how can your son help you on the days you feel sick or slow or very pregnant if you don’t tell him?

    • That is such a precious story. I’m sorry for your losses, and happy for you that you have such sweet children.

    • Megan says...

      She put both her little hands on the side of my cheeks and said, “I can’t take care of you if you don’t tell me.”

      I’m in tears. What a sweet child!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, katie! my heart.

      i’m so sorry for your losses. you sound like such a wonderful mother. xoxoxo

    • VP says...

      Oh my goodness. That is the sweetest thing that sweet baby said to you!

    • What sweet girls you have. We think our kids are so fragile, but the truth is that they may be even better at loving than we are. We are lucky to get to know such amazing little people!

    • Caitlin says...

      I echo the other responses to this – what an incredibly touching and profound moment to have with your sweet daughter, this brought tears to my eyes. I’m so happy for your healthy family and I’m so sorry for your losses.

  75. Laura says...

    Congratulations to you! What an exciting time! Weirdly invested in all the Cup of Jo gals and secretly hoping you spark a final flush of baby fever for Joanna as I’d love to see her have a third! :)

  76. L says...

    Hi there! It looks like you have a wealth of advice on the “how” part of your question, so I’ll speak to the “when” part and say, NOW! I write from the perspective of a veteran early childhood educator, and as such I have had ample experience to inform my opinion that children are often far more capable of processing big ideas than adults give them credit for. In fact, although you mention that your son “has no idea” what is happening, I’d like to gently suggest that while he may not have found the words to express it, he likely knows much more than you think. Not acknowledging the changes your family is already experiencing, burgeoning belly and all may actually end up creating stress and anxiety as he wonders what is going on (he is certainly wondering-it doesn’t seem to me that his comment in the bathtub was cooincidental), especially since so many folks you know are in on the secret. Tell him ;) xoxo

  77. April says...

    I have a 2 year old son (also a Jasper!) and I’m pregnant with my second. We told our Jasper very early on. I think it’s helpful to give them as much time as possible to adjust to the change. He doesn’t totally understand how much having a second baby will rock his little world but I think it makes it less of a shock to be talking about it for a while before it happens. Plus, if something were to happen with the pregnancy and mommy and daddy were very sad, we would share that with him too (in developmentally appropriate terms). Since telling him, Jasper has been nothing but excited about it (although he doesn’t bring it up himself, just when we mention it). When I was showing the first ultrasound picture to his grandparents and I asked him what it was, Jasper said it was a picture of “his baby.” I think your Jasper will be equally excited and proud. Good luck!

  78. WMom says...

    As a mom of three boys, 9, 6 and 4, if your child acts like he doesn’t want the baby when it comes, don’t worry. My oldest really did not like his baby brother when he came: he refused to open his Christmas presents because he didn’t want to share (with a 2 month old!). Now all three boys are best friends and they love each other fiercely, sometimes too fiercely.

  79. Carrie says...

    Sounds like this little dude is so ready to take on the role of big brother, so now the question is just how to make the announcement as AWESOME as can be. Maybe as a little gift, get him a baby doll that he can practice his big brother skills on while he waits for the next 20 weeks. It sounds like he might like something like that and what a cute way to wrap your minds around him no longer being the only child

  80. Hadley says...

    My younger brother was born when I was 5 and I couldn’t have been more excited (I didn’t want to be an only child). When my parents told me we were going to adopt my brother, I ran around the house singing “I’m bringing home a baby bumblebee.” When he arrived, I took him in as my own baby and don’t remember it being a particularly difficult transition. Of course we fought occasionally growing up, but I only have happy memories with him as kids and still love having a sibling now as an adult. Since my mom didn’t give birth to him, it might be a slightly different experience but I still only think it will enhance J’s life. Congratulations!

  81. Rue says...

    My friend has an almost-three-year-old son, and she’s expecting her second baby this winter. Her son knows that she has “a fetus in her stomach.” (This kid is really advanced verbally, but in the family the Hebrew word for fetus is also a culturally appropriate thing to say.) The son has met younger cousins who have just been born in the last few months, and he likes to talk about the baby cousins and “what they can do.” He’s really curious about whether babies can walk, talk, and play. So the puzzle pieces are there, but they are not really stressing about his conception of what’s going to happen until it happens. But they will bring it up in conversation casually to check in with him and make sure he isn’t worried about something. It seems from the outside like a good compromise between staying relaxed as a parent and not feeling like you’re hiding something from a family member.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      “the Hebrew word for fetus is also a culturally appropriate thing to say” = so interesting, rue! your son sounds incredibly sweet. xo

    • Rue says...

      My friend’s son, but he IS an amazingly sweet kid!

  82. AK says...

    He probably already knows — as my mother-in-law told me, paraphrasing from an old kid psych book, do you think the kid who notices that the elf on page 6 has a hat but the elf in page 7 doesn’t hasn’t figured out Mom’s tummy is suddenly bigger?!

    • Kate says...

      Totally agree with you. Don’t worry once you’ll tell him you’ll probably realize he already knew… :-)
      (Kate, mother of three)

  83. Leah says...

    My son was 3.5 when we told him that I was pregnant with #2, now 2 months old. I was so excited for the moment that I recorded it. His reaction? “Can we talk about it later? I want to watch my iPad!” After we told him, he was super excited, talking about it at school and asking questions. He is the sweetest big brother now — hugs and kisses galore for the little girl he calls “my baby.”