Conversations With a Two-Year-Old

Conversation with a Two-Year-Old

What funny things are your kids talking about these days? I’ve written about things Toby says, but these days Anton has also been chatting up a storm. He has SUCH a raspy voice, and he’s always talking about when he was little (!). For example…

Anton: “Is Humpty Dumpty a kid or a grownup?”
Us: “He’s actually an egg.”
Anton: “Oh, I see. He’s an egg!”

While on a walk in the evening: “The moon is coming with us to the playground!”

“The ice is too slip-illy.”

“We need to put on our hats-iz and scarves-iz.”

Us, at dinner: “Remember how we talked about meals? What meal is this?”
Anton: “Oatmeal?”

Recently, in the middle of the night, he started crying, so I went to his room.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Anton: “I missed you.”
So he came to sleep in our bed, and after rustling around he sat up straight:
Anton: “Where is your NECK???”
Me: “Right here.”
Cuddled up directly on it.

Last night, Anton was pretending to be the daddy, and I was the baby.
Me: “How was your day at work?”
Anton: “Great.”
“What is your job?”
“I eat gum. I eat daddy gum and talk to the people.”

Above, he learns the names of all the Beatles.

What cute things your little ones saying or doing these days? I would love to hear…

P.S. Toby in conversation as a two-, three-, three-and-a-half– and four-year-old, and Anton when he was just two weeks old.

(Top photo from Instagram)

  1. My 2 year old and I sing a song with her name so every once in a while I hear her sing, “Lilly Aurora” and “Lilly Chapman” over and over again. So cute! Also everything eat grass. Bunnies, squirrels, birds, fish, other kids. They “eat gass.”

  2. Andy says...

    I drew an Angry bird figure for my 6 year old nephew and he kept insisting that I title the drawing ‘Angry Birds’. When I said that popular art should speak for itself, like the Mona Lisa. He quips like a gallerist, “Not all drawings and art make sense! Look at this! Does it make sense to you? (pointing at one of his works of art, a drawing of a woman’s head emerging out of a lotus – I have no idea what inspired him to draw that!). Kids can be precociously funny sometimes! Anton’s a super cool kid btw! x

  3. My 2-year-old is also a Beatles fan, via his grandmother who sits down with him to watch Yellow Submarine on a regular basis (we live with them). The other day they had a Yellow Submarine funnel trumpet duet, and LO started singing the song punk-style.

  4. Sil says...

    Anton is the cutest!!!

  5. Mel Keaney says...

    Last night my 6-year-old asked me “mom, how do you know everything?” I told her it’s a magical power all mamas get and she’ll have it too when she becomes a mom. She said “Uh-uh, I’m not going to have babies.” “Why not,” I asked. “Because it will hurt so bad when they cut the ‘bilica’ cord.” I told her it doesn’t hurt and its like getting a hair cut, but she’s convinced its terrifying.

  6. Emma says...

    Oh I love this! My daughter has just started speaking Turkish, we live in Turkey and are both English speakers but she has been in Turkish nursery since she was 18 months. Today I filmed her playing with our housekeeper’s little girl who speaks no English. Ive never been prouder than to see for myself her fluent in another language. I hope it will translate into making languages easier for her as next month we move to Seoul…

  7. Liz says...

    Our 2 1/2 year old in conversation with his dad: “You have a big nose. I have a little nose. You have big feet. I have little feet. Mom has big feet. I have little feet… [deadpans] I wanna watch a show on your phone.”

  8. Molly says...

    Buah ha ha. Besides the Beatles, whose names I actually know, that´s pretty much how I feel about every other band ever. Who is in that band you ask? A boy. Who is in that other band? A girl. They make music. I like it. Why do I need to know their names?

  9. Danielle says...

    My step son has been asking to wear his ‘jail pants’ to bed… we bought him navy and white striped pyjamas. I asked if he was going to jail and he said, very firmly, ‘No I am not because I was good’

    I was laying on the bed with him playing video games next to me and I yawned because I was shot and it was getting close to his bedtime. He said ‘I know why you’re bored- it’s because you have to stay here with me’ It broke my heart!

  10. Andrea says...

    My 4 year-old also refers to “when he was a little boy…” And I’ll say, “But you’re a big boy now, right?” To which he’ll respond, “No, I’m just a medium boy.”
    He also has recently started making random observations which I’ll affirm with “Yes, that’s right.” Then he’ll occasionally respond with “So that’s pretty interesting…”

  11. Oh my heart!! Oatmeal, that’s the best answer. What a sweetie. Thanks for sharing, brightened my morning! Smiles from Kaua’i :)

  12. Laura C says...

    When my 5yo girl were 3, she told me her most hilarious and famous phrase, she got angry with me and told me “you are a flower that smells really bad”. I had to do a big effort and stay serious, but it was hard not to laugh.
    Oh how I love your Anton Joanna! You lucky girl!

  13. I’m pregnant with our 4th baby right now, and while disclosing to our 4 year old (second child, also our only boy!) that he is getting another little sister, he looked up at me and asked “is it Izzy?” (who is actually the younger sister he already has ?). Made us laugh. And then a few days later he told me that he is so happy because he will have another little sister to hide under the dining table with. (Something that he and our 3rd kid always do together!)

  14. Amy says...

    My sweet 2 1/2 year old told me yesterday, “A pancake is kinda like a friend.” Which, I mean, I guess? Today he walked past me on his way into the kitchen saying, “I will get some beautiful milk.” Obviously we think really highly of food at our house.

  15. Ashley says...

    Our almost 3 year old still says “I wanna hold you” when he wants a hug instead of hold me and when his best friend was moved up to another class he says “I miss Brady, he’s my Brady” in a very sad voice (breaks my heart). He also told his father the other day “Daddy did you poot? That’s dangerous!” Which is what we tell him when he tries to climb on furniture.

  16. Christy says...

    We moved to lousiana about 8 months ago. My 2 y/o has been hearing a lot of southern talk.
    Izzy: ouchie, wall hurt me. I need “ass” pack
    Me: huh? What?
    Izzy: I need “ass” pack!!!!!
    Me: ( is she really saying what I think she’s saying?!) Show mama
    Izzy: points to fridge
    Me: ohhhh.. “Ice” pack.
    Izzy: yes meem! (Yes ma’am)

  17. he is SO CUTE.

  18. Lee says...

    Oh the sweetest and most remarkable things come the mouths of babes!
    I’m a teacher and always saying in retirement I’m going to write a book full of all the incredibly ridiculous and awesome things my students have uttered in class over the years.

  19. Nicole says...

    My son Bennett is 2 1/2, here’s my favorite:
    Me: how old are you?
    Him: I’m just a Bennett
    Me: are you 2 1/2?
    Him: Nope, I’m just a Bennett, mama.

    • Amy says...

      I have a 2 1/2 year old Bennett who calls me Mama too! When I ask him how old he is he tells me, “Ben!!” Love it. Give your little B a high five from my little B.

  20. He’s SO sweet!! I live in Southern California and my niece (who at one time said “Nee-ow” for Meow) calls the Happiest Place on Earth “Dismeyland” and loves a Neopolitan “Shake-Milk” from In-N-Out :) I die!!

  21. JenMarie says...

    He would love the book, “I Took the Moon for a Walk.” It was a favorite in our house.

  22. Eliza says...

    I LOVE the way they speak in plurals when they’re young. My youngest stopped doing that in the past year and I gotta admit I miss it…these conversations are so cute and it’s so wonderful that you’re documenting them.

  23. My 3 year old son is super affectionate and professes his love for me multiple times a day. It’s darling. The other day he said “Mommy, you know why I love you? Because you’re the best EVER! And you know why I love daddy? Because he’s the best EVER! You know what else I love? Picking my nose.” I couldn’t stop laughing. Ranking up there with nose picking is pretty high praise.

    • Heather says...

      Just startled my nursing baby by laughing aloud! That’s fantastic.

  24. hah! this was a great one- i love when kids start talking and make “conversation”. i wish that chewing gum was my whole job ;)

  25. Linda says...

    When my twin girls were little, one of them asked me, “how do you tell if someone is a boy or girl?” I hesitated a minute and her sister said, “I know, I know”. So I said “please…go ahead”. She said, “boys have choo-choo trains on their panties”.

  26. Summer says...

    The drummer? “A boy!” Excellent, bahahahahha!

  27. no kids, but i get the joy of witnessing cuteness from friends’ children, or reading about it on FB. one friend posted recently that when she asked her 3 year old daughter to clear the table of toys for dinner, the response was: “No! You won’t make me your slave!”

    this particular friend is a treasure trove of delightful kids’ conversations.

  28. I just did a post on my blog yesterday about a funny conversation with my daughter – who is almost 3. I love the thoughts that come from kids! So sporadic and creative.

  29. Beth says...

    Oh, I just love everything about this. 2 year olds and language are so much fun. I think that writing down his words and your conversations is so special too for when he grows up and wants to know about his 2 year old self. “OATMEAL” that is my favorite and should really be a slogan for eating oatmeal for breakfast :)

  30. Mary Kay says...

    My 3 year old grandson was a sweet little worrier, and bedtimes were getting more and more difficult. Monsters under the bed, could Chelsea (their Great Dane) protect them from the bad guys, etc. One night talking about it and I asked him if monsters were real or pretend.

    A scowl, 2 seconds of thinking, and then “They’re pretend. But I’m pretending they’re real!”

    He’s 26 now, training to be Special Forces in the Army. Connection?

    • jj says...

      haha that’s great :)

  31. Viviana Reyes says...

    While playing at the park Saturday evening, my little one shouted to her friends “look a shooting star, let’s make a wish!!!”. She then closes her eyes as if to make her wish and when she is done, she turns over to her friends and whispers “I wished for a unicorn.”

  32. My son has been saying things like, “mommy can you please stop talking – it’s making my whole body tired.” He’s only 4 but I still get a teensy bit offended. :)

    • Helen, reminds me of my son. I want to have a “talk” about misbehaviour and the other day he said to me, “please just put me in time-out”


    • oh Marcia that is so funny LOL

  33. sue says...


  34. Ivy says...

    My husband has been telling, “When I was a little boy” stories to our 2.5 year old, so he asked me to tell him a “When I was a little boy” story, too. I started out, “When I was a little girl,” and he interrupted, “No, Mommy, when you were a little BOY– you were not a little girl, you were a little BOY.” Also, he says, “ti-gar” instead of “guitar,” and we can’t bear to correct him.

  35. Tram Pham says...

    I have 5-year old twins and they mispronounce things all the time. I try not to correct them because it’s so ridiculously cute. When we drive by a Toys R Us, they scream with happiness and call out “Oooh! Toys For Us! I see Toys For Us!”

    They are currently obsessed with Legos and in particular robbers. They pronounce it “roberts”.

  36. yael steren says...

    I actually find that when talking with my sister’s kids they have some really interesting things to say and have a unique view point!! They also question so many things that it helps me not take things for granted!! xx yael

  37. Jennifer says...

    My three year old referred to his one year old brother as his “henchman” the other day! I have no idea where he learned the word, but my husband laughed and said, “Excellent!” so that may offer a clue.

    The one year old only has a few words, but if I give him a drink he chases me around with the cup saying, “CHEEEEEEEEEE!” Which means he wants to clink it against my cup and say cheers. Then he drinks and says, “YUM!”

  38. Julia says...

    My 3 year old is concerned about his parents getting older (him being himself a father one day, us becoming grandparents etc.) – in his opinion we are then also becoming different persons. So the other day, he said: “Mummy, I don’t want you to become an old Grandma – you must always stay my Mum!”

  39. “I eat gum.” Teeheeheee!

  40. india says...

    The other day a bit after putting my 2yo cousin down for a nap I could hear him playing instead of sleeping so went in to him and before I could say anything he looked up and so innocently said “I not a naughty boy, I a yittle boy”. It took all my might not to laugh!
    Another thing he’s started mentioning is when we’re in the cold section of the supermarket he says “need a bwanket”. The first time I was so confused but soon realised he wanted a blanket to because it was so cold haha.

  41. Our daughter is about the same age and the chatting and wild ideas are constant and hilarious. Too many examples to list! It is a continuous narrative (so I know exactly what she is doing at all times- haha! “I’m putting on my coat. I’m making a mess.” etc.) and it usually continues for at least half an hour after the lights go out at bedtime. Such a funny age!

  42. Daughter declared with a sigh, “It’s too bad fairies don’t exist.”

  43. Ileana says...

    “And do you know who plays the drums?”
    “Um, a boy.”

    Heart officially melted.

  44. Nissa says...

    These are my favorite posts of yours! I was just lamenting the sad state of my facebook feed during an election year, so I hopped over to my “internet happy place”. Sweet, silly children learning to interact with the world is just the ray of sunshine I needed! Thank you!

  45. I absolutely love your two boys. They are so cute (and smart!)

  46. Julie says...

    My daughter says: “I don’t want that much !” when she wants more. Now that we know what she means, it cracks us up but for a while it made her mad when we would start removing the thing she was unhappy with. Usually it’s ketchup she wants more of…

  47. “who is playing the drums?”… “a boy” hahahahahha I almost fell from my chair from laughter! People are giving me a wrong look in the office hahahha
    Oh little humans (:D) are so a source of delightfulness and creativity, I will always be amazed.

    love, from

  48. pallavi diwakar says...

    i dont have kids yet; but my husband’s almost 2 year old niece always has to call her grandpa or her uncle (my husband) which she tells her mom by bringing the phone to her and asking to call.
    Now she is only now starting to speak whole words but has been doing this for almost a year now.
    so what does she talk on phone u ask?nothing; only unintelligible sounds but with all the intonations and we have no clue what she is saying.
    God i love kids; can’t wait to be a mother.

  49. Sarah says...

    So sweet! I would love to see what Anton and Toby’s conversations are like with each other!

  50. This is the sweetest. Our two year-old called our dinner “” yesterday! I just posted a blog about her today too!

    Happy Motherhood Monday! ;)

  51. Paula says...

    I use to see you around Battery Park and I cannot believe how much he has grown and how much he looks like your husband. And isn’t Toby the spitting image of you!

  52. This is absolutely adorable, Joanna! My niece turned two a few months back and I’m loving watching her language evolve. Now every time I see her she calls me “Aunty Annie” too – with her t’s perfectly pronounced.

  53. This is adorable. I work with children and they really say the darnedest things. I have a hard time stifling my laughs on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing that video. It cracked me up the entire time :)

  54. Oh I love this post so much, I can’t wait to have these conversations with my daughter, shes one right now and our conversations consist of, hi, waving, mama, dada, ohhh and random sounds haha
    xo, Michelle

  55. T. says...

    So cute!

  56. Veronica says...

    I gave my little one a honey stick, because she said she was “sick”. She eats it and says, honey feels me better mama!
    Similar to the neck comment, she’ll ask in the dark- “mama is this your hand? I love it, it’s so special for me.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Oh my goodness that is so so sweet.

  57. Shari says...

    I have three boys and were talking about music. My oldest said he wanted to continue with piano. My six year old said ” I want to learn to play drums”. My train obsessed three year old said “I want to learn play train whistle”…

  58. My 3.5 year old boy Sawyer asked me in the shower the other day, “Mom, what’s the difference between a boy and girl again?” I figured he was going where my mind was, and answered “boys have penises and girls have vaginas”, and he followed with “and girls have ponytails”. Classically me giving too much information!

  59. My almost 3 year old says so many awesome things. I love that he calls firefighters “fighter-fighter” and the following:

    While laying in bed together at bedtime…
    Me: Dash, can you tell me a story?
    Dash: I too busy mama.

    Chris (my husband): What kind of jewelry does mama like to wear?
    Dash: A bra.

    Inspired by you I’ve been writing them down and doing occasional blog posts, thanks for that! I always think I’ll remember the cute stuff he says but if I don’t write it down I forget so quickly!

  60. mcsdwm says...

    My nephew came home from daycare with a cross around his neck that the teacher had given all the kids for Easter. My sister asked him if he knew what it was and he said” I think it’s ‘t” for trouble. “

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahahaha little bunny!

  61. Courtney says...

    My three year old likes it when use our ninja blender to make him a “hot smoolee” (smoothie…why it’s hot I don’t know, we use ice) :)

  62. Seriously WAY TOO CUTE!!!!

  63. Prudence says...

    I don’t have kids of my own yet but I know they just say the most adorable things that make our hearts swell with love… thanks for sharing this heart-warming post!


  64. Aidel.K says...

    Oatmeal!!!! The best!

  65. alicia says...

    2 years, 4 months, and non-stop narratives about her “baby” and how the baby has a “boo-boo and needs an ice pack.” Lots of run-on sentences about who was nice or not at daycare and the pretend meals she is cooking in the kitchen.

    Her 5 year old brother was chatty but nothing like this, and my husband has often shaken his head that he was exactly the same and he doesn’t know how anyone put up with him ;)

  66. Oh, I remember watching that video on your instagram 20 times and have just done it again. SO hilarious, I have tears. George Kilhansen. My five year old son dropped a doozie last night, saying “mama, do I have to go to another country if I want to marry another boy? Because I want to marry Oscar (his best friend) but I don’t want to go to another country”. Oh lordy. Funny, beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time.

  67. natasha says...

    OMG! So cute! <3

  68. Rach says...

    My little one (2.5yrs) said to his cater at Childcare “Henry took my shoe off, and I laughed and I laughed and I laughed”

  69. I love this! He is so cute!

    My youngest is four years old (how can that be?!) and still says ghost-iz for the plural of ghosts. It kills me every time.

  70. Lauren says...

    Lately I’ve been going back and forth on my desire to have children, and tonight I’m decidedly back in the “YES” column. Toddlers are so cute and hilarious, and I love the videos you post of Anton on Instagram. I just think it’s the little babies that make me squeamish. I recently held a friend’s new 3-month old on my lap during dinner, and she started to cry and fuss. I looked at my friend with deep panic in my eyes, and she responded to me: “STOP. SHE CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That is hilarious, Lauren. Made me laugh out loud. Some people love the baby phase. I would skip to when they are 1.5!

    • Made me laugh out loud too ! She can smell your fear is sort of true too lol

      My mother was around a lot ( too much) when I had my first child .. *I was too young * and she loved giving the baby a bath in the mornings and letting me sleep in a little.
      So when I had my second child with no mom around to be nanny and husband at work really early, I was terrified to give him that first bath.
      Alone. I was so sure he would drown somehow.
      So I gave him those baths that you get in the hospital in the bed :)
      It took me forever to be brave enough to set him in a tub of water.
      I must have drowned in a previous life :)

  71. anne says...

    the other day I was holding my 2 year old and I said, “aw man there’s no coffee for my milk!”, she said, “oh no! no mik? mebbe water?”

  72. Nikki says...

    After my daughter finishes a meal…she yells “All Dum!”

    • LOL to adorable !
      My son would say Ta Daaaa …. ( he was meant to be a performer )

  73. He’s so adorable I feel like crying!!!

  74. Jillian says...

    Are you familiar with the stunningly beautiful book, The Moon is Going to Addy’s House by Ida Pearle? I instantly thought of it when I read Anton’s sweet comment about the moon. Oh my heart.

    My 2 year old (3 year old at the end of April! Gasp!) has become a little old man, and has started saying “shall”. I shall do this, and we shall do that. I was standing on a chair today and he said in a worried voice, “Oh mama! Do be careful! I’d hate for you to fall!” Who is this kid???

  75. megan says...

    I teach kindergarten and am pretty sure I could write a book of quotes based on the things they say. My favourite was when I was playing with the plastic farm animals with 2 little girls and made a horse noise and one stopped and looked at me with total wonderment and asked “how do you know how to speak horse?”

    • Rach says...

      That is gold!

  76. Kathryn says...

    I don’t have any children yet, but have worked with them in schools and historic sites. I remember one trip to Hampton Court Palace with a class several years ago. The student I primarily supported went up to a docent and asked, with all the seriousness in the world, “Did you know Henry VIII?” More recently, I was talking to a class about how a ceiling has been stained by people smoking in a building in the early 20th century and had a kid on my tour pipe up with “Why didn’t George Washington tell them to stop smoking?” Kids are great!

  77. katrina says...

    My almost 2 year olds favorite song is from Bye Bye Birdie, and she sings it to and about EVERYTHING –
    ” I love yooow, Grandpa! Oh yes I dooo! I love yoooow…PEANIT BUDDER…and I be truuuw…when your not wif me, I bluuuuew…Ohh Ice cweam, I lub yoooow. “

  78. Today my four year old son told me he likes his sister’s hot hands. Very sweet.

  79. Marisa says...

    My two year old has embraced “happens.” As in, she accidentally pushes a plate off the counter and then turns to us with a totally serious face and says, “happens!” True??

  80. Amy P says...

    My almost-three-year-old is not much of a talker, but when something unfortunate happens, he says ‘oh dee-wuh!’ (oh, dear!) in a sad voice. It’s adorable! Actually, my now five-year-old called my husband and me ‘dear’ for about a year when she was two because that’s usually what we call each other. She even started calling my mom ‘dear’.
    Recently she was tucking in our three month old with a blanket and said, “Take care, Tessie. The world is big and you are small.” She was paraphrasing from a book we read but even so, it nearly burst my heart!

    • Emilie says...

      This is the absolute sweetest thing. O precious babes!

    • OMG I have just died

  81. Sarah says...

    I love listening to Anton talk, it takes me right back to what my now 13 year old son (!) sounded like as a toddler, melts my heart!

  82. Nina Leung says...

    Just this morning, my four year old asked:
    “Are you BaBa’s wife?”
    “Who is your wife? “

  83. I don’t have kids, but I work in a preschool with two-year-olds. It’s hilarious the things they say, a lot of it copied from us. We don’t say “bad,” we say “sad,” so a lot of the times if a kid is hitting the others will tell him/her, “Sad choices, _____!”

    And the other day, a particularly verbal two-year-old handed me something, and, before I could say thank you, told me, “You’re welcome.” So, of course, I started laughing. She says to me, “You thought that was funny.” Just so deadpan. Love them!

  84. Madie says...

    My 2.5 year old recently made up a new word: exerbic. I don’t know what it means, but sometimes people or things are “exerbic”. DON’T mispronounce it “exorbic”, that would be ridiculous.

  85. Anton: “Where is your NECK???”

    LOL this made me laugh out loud .. really. Where is your neck is just so ..magical little child thinking. I will be grinning every time I think of this.

    It also makes me miss having a little on around. The things they say, the way they watch us and listen to us then they say something that shows you their take on things, which is usually hilarious.

    oh dear.. I miss having a little one :)

  86. Kim says...

    Haha! This is too cute! I don’t have any kids but I love this!

    Kim .. layering on the national mall!

  87. lisa says...

    When my daughter was younger (like 3 and under), she always called umbrellas rainbows. “I need my rainbow. It’s raining!” My son (2 and change) was late to talk and it has been so joyful to learn what he’s been thinking all this time. His favorite current phrase is “tiny baby ___”, which he uses to describe lots of small things, like “tiny baby bacon” for the tiny bite of bacon left on his plate. And his “I lub you” melts me every time.

  88. Neda says...

    My 3 year old asked today, “mama, when our heart is broken, how do we put it back together?”

  89. Sally says...

    Hats-ez and Scarve-ez! My daughter says the same thing!

    The other day, while brushing her teeth with new toothpaste, my daughter said: “It tastes like a donut!…With chocolate!…And sprinkles!…And an old, dirty, wet boot!”
    We may have a future sommelier on our hands.

    • Aya says...

      Thank you for the anecdote. It made me chuckle and tear up. Ha!

  90. Humpty Dumpty isn’t an egg! Well, he could be… but it doesn’t say he is in the rhyme. “Oatmeal” :) :) :)

  91. Jenna says...

    We were recently on holiday and my daughter kept referring to our hotel as the “show and tell”. It was so cute we started calling it that too. She also called the Sea-doos “Scooby Doos”.

    • So absolutely adorable !

  92. Lizzz says...

    I just had our second baby and am relying on my 2 year old more and more. Today he was putting away his dirty clothes. Every time he put something in the basket he said “good job! Good boy!”

    Hearts were coming out of my eyes. :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That is so, so cute. So funny when they mimic adults, sometimes I don’t even realize that I say certain things until I hear the boys parrot it. Although Anton has started saying to Toby, “You go to time out!” Haha oops.

    • Liz says...

      How sweet! My 4 year old was just playing with a little dump truck toy that drive forward when you press a button on its bumper. The batteries are wearing out and it was going extra slow, but when it passed a crack on the sidewalk he jumped up and shouted “Oh yes! Good job! You did it!!”

    • Awww… I know exactly what you mean, about the hearts coming out of your eyes :)

  93. margaux says...

    my 19-month old is learning to use the potty, and whenever she poops in the potty she’ll stand up, point at her results and shout, “pope! POPE!!!” particularly funny to my recovering catholic husband.

    both of my girls love ABBA, and my 3 3/4 year old (as she likes to say) often requests it when i get home from work for our pre-bedtime dance party. “mama, i want to hear ‘chooka-chance’ (take a chance).” i hope she never learns it’s real name.

  94. Two words. So sweet! Motherhood is awesome.

  95. My daughter was at a field trip at a planetarium and someone asked about Pluto. The guy doing the presentation tried to explain that due to scientific mumbo jumbo scientists had decided that Pluto wasn’t really any more of a planet than an asteroid was and that it had been reclassified as a dwarf planet. My daughter, age six, turns to me and nods sagely and says, “So Pluto is an asteroid that dwarves live on.”

    • Marisa says...

      That’s hysterical! I love the ‘nods sagely’ part because they SO DO THAT!!

    • Sarah says...

      This totally made me laugh out loud!

  96. I just love these posts! I don’t have kids, but my boyfriend teaches golf to junior players and brings home the funniest stories – they always make my day. My favorite was a 5-year-old boy who told my boyfriend “I used to play golf.” As if he’d played golf long ago, abandoned the sport, and was picking it back up again all in his 5 long years of life ;) Another favorite was the boy who informed him that “Golf is hard, but not as hard as football, because no one is trying to tackle you when you hit the ball.”
    Gotta love a kid’s perspective!

  97. Jess says...

    My 2 year old is obsessed with polar bears, but calls them “toe-ber bears” and will not say “toe-ber bears” with out immediately letting out a huge roar right after saying it. We live in northern Wisconsin and so it is really snowy and tundra like, so when we go for walks outside he always say, “ohhhhhh…there’s a nice baby toe-ber bear….RAWWWRRRR…..”. And sometimes, “mama, no scared”. I hope he always thinks there are nice baby polar bears in the yard…

  98. Ellen says...

    I was looking after my cousins Nicholas (4) and Hannah (2) for 10 hours a few weekends ago. By the end of the day, Nicholas was tired of getting in trouble. I asked him to stop digging up the grass in the yard and he said ‘Ellen, palaeontologists never give up!’ then, a few minutes later, he asked me ‘Why don’t we play a game where you’re the Mum, but you have no rules and you’re only nice!’. I’ve saved it in my memory back for his 21st birthday!

  99. Do you save all their funny little sayings? I have mason jars filled with all the funny things my boys said when they were little XO

  100. I often call my fiancé ‘honey’ when trying to get his attention or asking him something. Of COURSE my 18 month old picked up on that and now when she feels like she’s being ignored or really wants attention she very loudly starts saying ‘HONEY, HONEY, HONEYYYY’ to us. It’s absolutely hilarious in her little sweet and impatient voice!


    • Meg says...

      My 2.5 yr old boy does the same thing when he needs our attention or wants something. Honeeeeeey!!! It’s so funny, but also made my husband and I realize we need to say honey for more affectionate reasons. Not to just get what we want. ;)

  101. Anton’s midnight missing is the very sweetest thing!

    My youngest is 2 years old and she has two big brother’s who have went through a serious superhero stage. Many times I have walked into the living room to find her rocking The Hulk in her little rocking chair, patting his back and saying, “It’s o.k, Hulk. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. It’s o.k” while Captain America is swaddled in her blanket and “napping” in her doll pack n play. She than tells me that I must be quiet…he is trying to sleep!

  102. Erin G. says...

    My three-year-old is really interested in understanding what’s “regular” (and by that, he actually means plain or normal, or something else all together). And the rub is that he pronounces it “rel-gull-are”, which cracks me up. So, we end up having conversations like:
    him: Is this rel-gull-arrrrre yogurt?
    me: do you mean plain?
    him: NO! Rel-gull-are!
    me: yes. (holding back giggles)

    I love toddler-speak, it helps you want to strangle them less as they ask their standard 250 questions a day.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That is so, so adorable. When Anton says something not quite right (hats-is), I never want to correct him!

  103. Sarah says...

    My 19 mo old son is learning new words everyday and, although we are far from full sentences, he has some pretty funny things to say. He calls his best friend “The Kai” (as in the one and only). He also wants to make sure and offer everyone he loves to share in on things that he’s enjoying. For instance, we were at the grocery and he was eating crackers. He offered one to me and turned around in the cart to be sure and offer a bite to “Char Char”, our dog Charlie…who was obviously not there, but needed a bite anyways. Can’t wait to have conversations with him more and more!

  104. Sarah says...

    My daughter is 18 and pregnant. My son is 5. A couple days ago we had a conversation like this:
    Jess: Ow! I think I broke my uncle!
    Me: I think you mean ankle.
    Jess: Okay but where is my uncle?
    Me: You don’t have an uncle on your body but you’re about to be an uncle!

    A few months ago he told me that my eyes were like Summer.

    • Your eyes are like Summer would completely melt me .. I would be just a puddle of love on the floor.
      We were walking in town (NYC) one summer when my little one decided he could walk without holding anyones hand. So I said if he stayed right next to me … so he put his hands behind his back, in case I tried to hold one .. and walked along .. A woman passed us and looked at him and smiled.
      He looked at me and said ” She likes me ” … and continued on …

    • Sarah says...

      Yes Candice! I did! I have the exact date written down in my journal. And my son is the same way – he thinks all the ladies love him! So cute!

  105. Laura says...

    oh my goodness, the George Harrison!!

  106. Madelaine says...

    Anton sounds so adorable! My 18-month-old was, unfortunately, with me in the bathroom while I was getting sick. She stood and watched intently for 5 seconds, and then started spitting towards the toilet to mimic me. It was so heartwarming in a weird way!

  107. Sammie says...

    omg dying over that video.

    “George Harrison?”

    “Geowge Cawwyen…sen”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      haha i have watched it 893,425,023 times.

    • ” Yeah– Pawnicartny.”

  108. Angela says...

    We’ve got our garden started and my 2 year old son was overheard singing to our sprouts, “Growin’ stuff! It’s good!” Also, he refers to the sprouts as “buh-flies” because the first leaves look like little green butterflies. ?

    He also says “What a bummer!” when we drive by our neighborhood fire station and he can’t see any trucks.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      so sweet!!

  109. I gotta give him props for the “oatmeal” response. Quite witty!

  110. My girls (ages 4.5 and 2.5) like to pretend that one is mom and one is baby, which gets very confusing when they yell for mom and I answer and then get scolded because I’m not the mom they are talking to! My 2.5 year old recently told her teacher that another kid in the class “bwoke her heart” which seems to have come from nowhere! And my 4 year old likes to quiz the 2 year old on different words. So she will say a word and have the 2 year old repeat. They have been doing this for at least a year, and for whatever reason, my 4 year old ALWAYS chooses the word “bench” to which my 2 year old replies “bitch” and then the 4 year old says “good job” and moves on to the next word. I’m going to miss these silly conversations when they get older.

    • Ali says...

      Loved this!

      When talking about growing, my 3 year old explains her intestines are getting bigger and her arms higher (she can reach more things). Not laugh out loud funny but so cute.

    • AmyB says...

      My five year old has been using the “broken heart” phrase for a year or so, now, too – no clue where he got it, either! He always uses it in the correct context of being sad, but today informed me the I broke his heart – when I asked how (since I’d done absolutely nothing) he said, “because I love you SOOOOO much that all the love BURST out of my heart (making an exploding motion from his chest) and broke it to pieces!” He was pretty proud of himself for that one, and agreed he was so sweet and cute ?