What Time of Day Do You Like Having Sex?

My husband and I generally end up having sex very late in the day, right before bed. It’s perfect for him (though I think he’d love to expand into other hours of the day) because it’s extremely relaxing for him and falls asleep straight away. I, however, end up feeling wired and then puts around for another hour or so until I get sleepy. It’s tricky, though , because if I have someplace to go or something to do, I can’t get out of my head enough to enjoy it. So morning or midday isn’t great for me as I end up just feeling like I’m racing the clock.

All that to say, I guess we haven’t really figured out a “favorite” time yet. Just what seems to sort of work.

Hi Jo!
I absolutely love your blog!! Its so exciting to read about so many different topics. Funny enough my hubby and I were talking about this yesterday! We too have had sex randomly in the middle of the night. I love spontaneous sex. We’re currery trying for a baby, so sometimes it feels a bit ‘set up’. I love not thinking about it and it just happens. We, both love having sex at night, although some night, espeically weeknight, I just feel like I want to be dead to the world! My question is, how do you get time to in the morning?! We are always so rushed to get out the door for work!

We live with my boyfriend’s mom now so we usually have to do it at night when she’s sleeping, but before we’d do it all the time, whenever (we had roommates but didn’t care if they heard ha). Also, no idea what people are talking about with the picture. I guess you changed it but I love Woody Allen so whatever!

Yep this has happened and it’s the best ever!!! I also prefer morning. We feel so good and giddy and night time is hard with having just nursed kids to sleep and being so tired and end of the day need a shower mom. We have to get creative these days!!

Love this. Ash

So glad we aren’t the only ones! It’s so much fun, though, isn’t it? :)

this is so me and my husband too! We play the blame game of who was the “midnight bandit” every time. Whoever’s to blame, would have to say its my favorite

Love this post. Totes afternoon people over here when the littles are down for afternoon nap….I have 2 the same age as T and A. Questions for you how did you sleep train and did you put them in the same room? Any tips would be SO appreciated. Still have babe in our room in pak n play, poor little lady. She is still up twice a night to feed although she is a chunka and I know she does not need those night feedings. Drooling over the day I can get her in her room with her brother. Please, any tips??? Thanks!

All I can think is – wow, you have kids the exact ages as ours and you are in a bed TOGETHER, with no kids in it, not worried about being interrupted and not worried about using precious uninterrupted sleep time for sex. How did you pull this off?? I really want to know. We are dying here.

It is a good and actually natural time for this.

Before modern conveniences – e.g., lamps and books and laptops and TV – people often went to bed earlier, but awoke in the middle of the night. After all, one can only sleep so much. The time before going back for second sleep was filled with quiet reflection, planning one’s day and having sex.

In fact, some belief that insomniacs are actually just behaving naturally in a world that has removed part of our night.

See: http://disinfo.com/2013/08/how-our-ancestors-used-to-sleep-twice-a-night-and-highlighting-the-problem-of-present-shock/

I definitely are more into it in the morning or in the afternoon (delight!) . . evening is OK if I feel fresh enough and awake! :)

Man, Joanna, I have to say that I am surprised by the backlash from the orig. photo… I didn’t see it, so I dunno… But I don’t personally know Mr. Allen, or his family, or the history of their dynamics… so I hesitate to pass judgement on any of them, since it really isn’t my, or anyone’s business but their’s. You have a great blog.It stinks that you started the post with “we’re all friends here, right?” and then some pretty unfriendly stuff was said. I appreciate that you do treat us like friends and are authentic in this blog, that is what makes it compelling and keeps me reading!

Great post! I’m the same way Jo, after dinner or a few drinks, no one wants to be sloshing around, so un-sexy. On weekends It’s first thing in the morning, Sunday morning pre- brunch MUST! But on week nights we make it a priority to make time for it before dinner, or before we go out. we will sit, chat unwind from the day, sip a half a drink, then go for it. Our friends know not to make plans earlier than 7:00… or we will be late…

before two kids in middle of day, after two kids in middle of the nigth!!!

Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue on the topic of this article at this place at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place. my blog: Blogger Learned

2pm. On the dot. Every day. I used to work evenings and he would come home from work for a late lunch most days and it was perfect. But then we moved and my schedule changed and now I work weekends and it is so frustrating!

Morning sex is the best way to start the day.

you have often highlighted woody allen on this blog, and each time my stomach turned, however that is your right. to support and endorse whoever you please. and just like you have the right to your opinion, i have mine, and i will no longer be visiting your blog. and i won’t be buying anything from anyone who sponsors you.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/02/woody-allen-sex-abuse-10-facts

Pretty insensitive to put up Woody Allen picture up; unnecessary to rake up something like that. I enjoyed your blog because I trusted your taste and judgement.

I am sure you will not miss one of your billions of readers, because I will not visit anymore.

I prefer nigths but not with kids…
Now that we have two… i am too tired at nights so i choose afternoon, but it is not my best…

I also had the midnight sex experience some time ago, we never knew who initiated and we never said a word while making it, but it was wonderful.

I’m an afternoon sex person, too, and I find it pretty difficult to have sex in the morning, just after waking up, I need to have breakfast first! ha ha ha

Ha! So funny that you wrote about this because my husband does this all the time. He’ll initiate in his sleep and have absolutely no recollection the next morning! (actually happened two nights ago) I usually don’t entertain the whole thing because it wakes me up and I’m exhausted, but when I told him about his most recent attempt the other morning, he says, “Oh come on! Give dream Matthew (I picked a random name) some action!” So maybe next time I’ll go with it. :)

Pretty sure that’s how I got pregnant. One summer night. . . ;) AFter four years of trying to get pregnant, hey, it worked! It’s the best.

I’ve totally been there. It’s pretty awesome. And we can never figure out who instigated it either. Sometimes I am so sleepy that in the morning I think I dreamt it and I have to ask him. :D

I love this post Joanna, you’re adorable.

…and I think I’m going to jump my husband’s bones when he walks through the door. ;)

This has happened a couple of times and let me just say, WOOOO HOOOO!!!!

I will say that it typically ends up being at night because my little one is asleep and there is less to worry about, so the morning/middle of the day feels really special.

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I love your blog, and love reading your reader’s comments. I fall in with the crowd here.

As a blogger, I understand your desire to keep everyone happy. It’s just such a shame that a spurned woman can be so successful in changing the reputation of her former lover. And with the most lethal of weapons. This accusation was investigated thoroughly, nobody was paid off .. there was simply no evidence. Yet she’s successful in keeping it alive.

Every time I see this kind of public reaction to no evidence, I find it disturbing.

You do a great job … thanks as always.

Sleepy Sex….the middle of the night is best :)after that would be morning and afternoon.

late morning or mid afternoon or right before we have to meet friends (it seems dangerous and risky…or we’re lame) and sleepy sex like you described.

My husband and I call this ‘dreamy sex’ and it’s our favourite! Haha – it’s always him that initiates, although I never mind!

I love those nights! You never know exactly who starts it and you never really know when it ends. It makes me feel so cared for.

midwestmisplant.blogspot.com

Joanna, great topic. Love how open you are about everything. Agree w/ you on mornings and afternoons. Also, middle of the night romps are the best! Love that when you wake up in the AM and are chatting about who started what. SO fun. Also, did you see the article in The Atlantic about Why Is It So Hard for Women to Write about Sex? Bravo to you! http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/03/why-is-it-so-hard-for-women-to-write-about-sex/357574/

This may seem awfully off topic,but in a way it isn’t…
I’ve read you have sleep trained Anton. I’m curious which book and or method you chose,as i am a sleep deprived mother of 7 month old twins. 7pm to 6am sounds a lot of sleep…
…And if I slept more, maybe we would get to have some sex again,to connect to the topic. Though probably stil not for the “afternoon delight” which is my favorite.

My husband and I have been married for 17 years and middle of the night sex has always been in heavy rotation. I used to always think he initiated it but in the last several years I’ve realized that it’s actually ME!!! But it is always the hottest sex. As for the uptick in libido once you hit 30? Wait until your late 30’s/early 40’s – off.the.hook. No one is complaining in my house though. One of the many good things about getting older!!! Not sure if it has to do with age/hormones or maybe the age of your youngest child. When my 3rd (and last) was around 2.5, was when the libido increased.

Ah middle of the night magic! LOVE this too! It’s crazy how you feel half asleep but so into it at the same time. And you’re so right.. we never know who initiated it either.. it just happens :) Love the unexpectedness of it!