A Trick to Feeling Pretty

You know those mornings when you look in the mirror and start analyzing every flaw? Well, I heard a great trick a while back: Pretend you’re a friend instead. Suddenly, you look in the mirror and see yourself as others see you. You’ll look much prettier and won’t be nearly as critical. Now, instead of stressing about my old-lady under-eye wrinkles, I’ll suddenly think, oh, she looks friendly, she has a warm smile, let’s hang out!

Honestly, go try it and report back! I’ve been amazed by how well that little trick works in changing your perspective.

P.S. You’re gorgeous. :)

(Illustration by Gemma Correll for Cup of Jo)

  1. A very good advice. Also if you look in the mirror and smile to yourself you will fill very motivated and you will charge with good vibes :)

  2. Katharina says...

    Brilliant! I will definitely share this. Thanks, Joanna!

  3. i will like to share my testimony to you all.i just got married to my husband about a year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my children and i don’t want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about Dr Jatto how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other.i was directed to Dr Jatto and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband.he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact him email.
    narol denison

  4. I want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to DR EKPEN TEMPLE for bringing back my husband who left me and kids for almost 2 years within the space of five days after following all instruction given to me. i am very much grateful for restoring peace in my marital home’ i pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help you can
    contact him on this email : ekpentemple @gmail. ncom

  5. so simple and effective! thankzs for sharing Jo!

  6. wow Jo, just read this and got me thinking of the way we talk to ourselves. We wouldn’t talk to our friends that way (or else wouldn’t have many friends!) but are happy talking to ourselves in a less than positive way. Thanks for the perspective. xx

  7. Awesome idea, makes so much sense! Plus, I just discovered the wit & wonderfulness of Gemma Correll tonight, loved seeing her art on your blog!

  8. Wish your dear brothers “Happy Rakhi” as you send Rakhi along with gifts through the services of that is meant for delivering to UK. Send Rakhi to UK along with the contents of the store and send some happiness in life of others. Rakhi turns out to be sweet and special with the gifts.

  9. Wow! What a simple, yet amazing tip!

    PS: You are super sweet.

  10. I learned this trick when I was 30 and it has been wonderful!

  11. Oh, man, perfect timing. As I get ready to hit the big 4-0 I took a facial inventory and proceeded to have a meltdown. Thank you for this!

    You’re gorgeous, too!

  12. this is so great. What a concept! Thanks:)

  13. Love this post. Just what I needed :)

  14. What a great idea. I’m going to try this tomorrow! ;)

  15. jm says...

    Just saw this and love it!!!!!!

  16. I’ll try later, but I think it’s kinda difficult.

  17. Ok. I literally just walked away and tried this. I don’t know if I overlooked my flaws so much as I laughed and felt better anyway.

  18. i read this great book last year called ‘the gifts of imperfection’ where the advice was the same, except with negative self-talk: if you find yourself calling yourself negative names, making negative comments about yourself to yourself, etc., just imagine that you are instead saying those things to a friend. you would clearly never tell a friend she looked horrible/awful/stupid/etc., so why would you say this to yourself? if you talk to yourself as though you are talking to a friend instead, the dialogue (monologue? haha) becomes much more positive. :)

  19. At 31, I’ve let my natural colour grow out and stopped wearing makeup everyday. I got a haircut that I can let air-dry without looking bonkers. I was longing to be closer to my more authentic self and years of obsessing over makeup, hairstyles and my general appearance seemed to be moving me farther away from that.

    I was my own experiment and the result was that… nothing changed. Or at least, the things I thought would change didn’t. I also really value all the time I’ve gotten back. I wouldn’t leave the house without even basic no-makeup makeup on before.

    It’s also a bit of a mind trip thinking about all the years I spent essentially trying not to look like myself.

    I get this might not be for everyone but I feel like I learned something really valuable.

    • Totally agree with Jools. I’ve moved away from overstyling and make-uping myself, and I think I actually look better. It no longer looks like my face is melting off halfway through the day :)

  20. Ha! I totally do this already! I guess I didn’t really realize it, but that is my exact thought process when trying to evaluate how I look. It ALWAYS helps.

  21. You are so friendly, let’s hang out;)! Thank Jo, that’s sweet of you!

  22. I know this won’t work for me. I cannot pretend to say something to myself from a friend’s perspective – because let’s face it – even our closest of friends will have some streak of jealousy or competitiveness.

    But what does work for me is talking to myself in the mirror, being myself. I would say “Nisha you are looking stunning today”, “these earrings are making you look better”, “oooh look at that sexy hair”, “good job on the eyeliner today darlin'”, and so on.

    I feel all our positive energy comes from within us :)

  23. Great advice!

    Something I invested in recently for the same purpose of starting your day off right is a really great, totally sexy robe. Every morning when I wake up, I put it on and before I even look in the mirror I feel like a glamorous 50’s movie star. It really changes the way you feel about yourself the rest of the day.

    • I love this idea!

  24. thank you! i needed this :)

  25. I love this! I discovered something similar in high school. Whenever I felt like I was having an “off” day, I thought about the times when my friends told me they were having off days. I could never tell! I never look at my friends and think “oh she’s having an off day with her appearance” haha most of the time, I don’t even realize when they’re not wearing makeup. So I always think about that when I’m feeling less attractive – probably nobody will even notice and still think I look great!

  26. This is so sweet! And thanks for the compliment, you’re gorgeous, too :)

  27. It’s funny that I read this because I was just dreading getting up and looling in the mirror. Being a 17-year old girl is so much fun.

  28. Good advice!

  29. I never would have thought of this. I am going to try it the next time I feel frumpy. Ironically my mom just commented on how sometimes I am dressed really nicely for work and sometimes I am a schlub and I told her my outfit depends on how pretty I feel that morning.

  30. This has to be the most simple, but best advice about self image ever! It’s so basic, that you can’t help but remember it. Thanks!

  31. you couldn’t be sweeter. these kinds of posts make my day!

  32. Great idea! I’ve been going through a particularly bad period of low self esteem and making a real effort to dig myself out of it. had a fabulous article on using self talk to promote better body image. It suggested finding something you like about yourself every time you look in the mirror. Now, right before I’m about to see my reflection, I challenge myself to see how quickly I can find something I like. It’s like a little race and it’s really kept me from focusing on my “flaws”!

  33. Such a cute and idea. Who knew something so small could help you change your thinking.

  34. K says...

    Interesting! I am really working on this now that I’m pregnant. I don’t want my child to learn self doubt and criticism. It’s been a really good lesson for me!

  35. What a great little idea. Doin it!

  36. As with ALL of life it is really what you see … not what you are looking at. Change your perspective – make it positive & the world is a sunnier place and you are..well, a shining star!
    Great post!

  37. I definitely try to remember to think, “Would I want my daughter to feel this way about herself?” And I try to love myself the way my mother would want me to.

    • I love this :) Conversely, I like to think, “My mom would hate to hear me say something like that about myself.” Makes a huge difference.

  38. Just what I needed today <3

  39. What a sweet post! I have looked back on my teenage diaries and been heartbroken about how hard I was on myself.I should have spent every critical moment admiring my dewy complexion! I try to remind myself that just 10 years from now, I will be mad at myself for fixating on my present flaws. This post was a wonderful reminder to be kind and friendly to myself. Thank you!!

  40. Totally helpful.

    Sometimes, you just get tired of looking at your own face. An outside perspective is always refreshing.

    Thanks :)

  41. As soon as I start having those horrible negative thoughts about my appearance, I try to imagine that some impressionable little girl (maybe even me as a 5-year-old) can hear them. Snaps me right out of it because I would never want to model that kind of self-hate for someone else, so why do it to myself?

  42. Great trick!

  43. How sweet! Thank you for this!

  44. i love this idea, it is so true. i am only the girl working with 3 men and when i feel like i look tired and whinge about the black bags under my eyes they all stare at me like i’m crazy

  45. It could be a nice try, but wouldn’t work for me…simply because I know I’m lying to myself from the beginning. Instead, I totally accept myself the way I am/feel that day and tell myself “now smile, ’cause you’ve got a day to go with that horrible face of today” :D

  46. What a sweet thought – we all really could do to be a little more of a friend to ourselves. xo!

  47. Thanks for starting the day off on such a kind-to-self note. I’ll save this one to tell my baby girl when she hits the teen years :)