Design

Motherhood Mondays: How Long Did You Have a Lovey?

Did you have a lovey when you were little? Growing up, my sister had a lamb, I had a teddy bear, and my brother had…a piece of women’s lingerie. Seriously, my brother’s blankie was a torn piece of a blue silk slip. He just liked the silky feel. My mom would put it in the freezer so it felt cold when he fell sleep (although then it also smelled like fish).

But how long do loveys last? When my friend was expecting her first baby, she packed her stuffed polar bear in the hospital bag. “My husband thinks I’m crazy for taking ‘Pola’ to the hospital,” she told me. “But I need him there with me!”

Recently, I read this fascinating Momfilter post about lovey expiration dates. Pilar (who, incidentally, is the editor in chief of Martha Stewart Living) revealed that her sweet four-year-old son was still obsessed with his doggie blanket (or, as she called it, “his great enduring love.”) Her husband objected to his son’s attachment, but Pilar, who had mixed feelings, wrote, “When I watch the blankie-thumb nirvana that washes over him, I wonder how anyone can argue with that.”

A commenter added: “My eight-year-old still sleeps with his fuzzy…I still see that perfect joy when he climbs into bed and sees it like it’s a surprise (really? You didn’t know it would be there?)…Husbands have a way of ‘manning up’ our boys, sometimes as a knee-jerk response. Whenever my husband does this I always say, ‘Let’s go call your mother and ask what you did as a child.’ That usually takes care of it.”

Fascinating all around. What about you? Did you have a lovey? For how long? Do you still tuck it under your pillow? Do your children have loveys? How long do you think it’s OK for them to remain attached to them? As long as they’d like, or should they be encouraged to pack it away at a certain age? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

(Photos by Our Labor of Love)

  1. Jordan says...

    I took Bunky (my teddy bear) to college with me. Now i’m married and he has a cozy home in my closet.

  2. Aleta says...

    I still have my blanket well blankets. I have had one crocheted blanket for 30 years but when I moved back to live temporarily with my family after a nasty divorce my then 7 year old sister told my mom that I had to have a new blanket for Christmas and she wouldn’t let up till my mom had one made. So now I have two blankets. The first one stays on my bed as it is falling part and the second one I sometimes bring to the living room. I have anxiety disorder and it’s not quite severe but it isn’t mild. I have had it since I was 4 at least or that is the first time I remember having panic attacks. I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I guess for me I have used it to help calm me during panic attacks or to help soothe me during the worst of a bad pain day or a flare up (where the pain is horribly bad for at least a week) Also I have had things happen in my life that has left me vulnerable in ways that most people aren’t so I use the blanket as a way to feel secure. I realize it doesn’t make sense but my husband gets it and has never been bothered by it so I don’t let what anyone might say affect me. I don’t like carry it everywhere I go or anything, just clarify.

  3. I called my baby blanket a lovey, too! I gave it to my husband when we were first dating as a keepsake the months I was traveling in Ireland. He told me he kept it neatly folded on my pillow next to him when he slept.

  4. I’m 34 and I still have the blankie that I was sent home from the hospital with. I don’t travel with blankie for fear of losing it… but love coming back to NYC and finding it waiting in bed for me. I took the most ridiculous picture of my boyfriend snuggling up with blankie the other morning… hysterical. I think she’s growing on him…. ;)

  5. i know this is an older post. but i slept with a silk shirt (and even brought it to college with me and maybe still have it in the drawer next to my bed just in case.) this is literally the first time i’ve ever heard on someone doing that as well. it’s funny to know i’m not the only one.

  6. My dog has a lovey actually…a stuffed turtle that she sucks on every night when she’s tired. If she can’t find it, she’ll actually look for it until she does…she loves that thing! So cute :)

  7. Anonymous says...

    Actually, I have four. My Bulubasaur plushie, Franklin, Pooh Bear and my cute stuffed elephant named Bazoo.

  8. Anonymous says...

    There’s something not right about a grown adult still sleeping with their “blankie.” Sure, if it was something special to you as a child, keep it as a momento, but to still sleep with it? Time to grow up.

    • Aleta says...

      It’s not about needing to grow up. At least for me it’s not. I have had things happen to me that were really horrible and left me unable to trust anyone not related to me for a long time. And before that I think the anxiety disorder made it hard to just pack away my blanket because it was one of the few things I could hold on to and focus on while trying to calm down.

  9. My lovey is “Bunny” – a white plush GUND rabbit with a rattle inside. I still have her on my bed, and I’m 30 years old (I got her when I was 3).

  10. I think that it is quite cool that your brother has something like that.

  11. Honestly? I still haven’t been able to leave Cheety (my stuffed cheetah) behind. He may be 19 years old now, but he’s been with me to 7 countries and almost every trip I’ve ever been on. I lost him, once, on an overnight trip, so I don’t take him if I’m going to be gone less than 3 days anymore.

    He sleeps with me every night and my husband still thinks it’s cute enough not to kick him out of bed.

  12. Sarah says...

    I still slept with my blankie until I was 34 and my daughter was 1. And then, she stole it from me! WAH

  13. I am 26 and still to this day sleep with my bear and he travels every where with me. Just a few months ago when my boyfriend and i were flying he asked to use my bear as a pillow. Funny because he constantly pokes fun of it–until he needs it himself!! I’ve slept very few nights without my bear.. as far as im concerned there is no lovey expiration date!

  14. My little brother had a yellow blankie that he had for sixteen years. It was mine when I was a baby but he was the one that got attached once he came along. It’s almost twenty years old now and in pieces but still in the back of his closet.

  15. I am 27 years old and still have my Rosje (little doll) and Vlokje (stuffed lamb). I don’t care I still have them, I’m not ashamed of it.
    They are kind of part of the family. My parents know how much them meant and still mean to me (they’re part of my childhood) and my boyfriend calls them by their name as well.

    They look at me when I’m going to sleep. I have placed them on my nightstand in a nice box :)

    Love,
    Nancy

  16. I still have my lovey with me where I live right now. I stopped traveling with it, though – except for when I went to New Zealand to study abroad (I just had to have it with me for some comfort in a new place). I still go to that cute flower-covered teddy bear when I am lonely in bed or really down in the dumps.

  17. I’m 34 years old and while I don’t snuggle with my lovey anymore, it does live under my pillow and every now and I then I tuck it under my head. It also lives inside of an old bear that had a zipper in the back for storing such things. The lovey, or “bata” which means nightgown in Spanish, was my mom’s pajamas that she would leave in my crib every morning when she left for work. It’s all tattered now and resembles an old rag more than anything else but I love. I love it so much in fact that I hand wash it every week bc I’m scared to death of the washing machine eating it up.

    I don’t know what is “too old” – it’s not like it’s a bottle or a pacifier that i have. There’s something really comforting about having something for that long and that it means so much. My sister slept with her “nonnies” (old burp clothes that were never used as such but after 30+ years they’re so soft) and she still has them too. Lucia is obsessed with her sleep sack. She absolutely must wear one when she is sleeping and then at some point at night she unzips it and cuddles it. at some point it won’t fit her anymore and she’ll sleep with a regular blanket. until then….

  18. I probably shouldn’t write this on the internet, but growing up I had a blanket and even when I was an adult with my own apartment I would sleep with the blanket folded up under my pillow. When I met my now husband I would stash it in the closet when he’d sleep over, eventually putting it away when we moved in together. Ha!

  19. What great memories. My son’s lovey was a large stuffed bear a friend bought him when she babysat the night I went to the hospital to deliver my second child! He was only 19 months at the time. He slept with that matted, threadbare bear till he was an adolescent. He’s turning 30. I still have the bear in a closet in his former room.

  20. The children in France have their “doudous” forever (a little late in this American’s opinion!).

  21. I still have my Blanky and still sleep with it every night – it even travels with me everywhere I go! But honestly, I swear that it’s not an emotional attachment so much as it is that now I CANNOT sleep without something tucked tightly underneath my chin. On the nights when I don’t have Blanky, a towel or sweatshirt does the trick.

    And my boyfriends have always been understanding. In fact, my current boyfriend always clutches a pillow, kinda like I do with Blanky. :)

  22. Oh, no. I’m 29 and I STILL have Pound Pappy, the Pound Purrie I begged for when I was five, AND my “kee kee,” which is what I called my ancient, completely faded pink thermal blanket. I don’t sleep with either one (the blanket’s in storage), but Pound Pappy has a place of honor on my night stand, and on very rare occasions, if I’m really, really sick… he gets tucked in next to me! LOL! Isn’t that ridiculous? I’m 29 and I still have my lovey! :)

  23. Jessica says...

    I have a sheepskin. My mom got them for me and my sisters when we were babies so we’d have something nice to lay on, but I was the only one who ever got super attached. I actually wore my first one out (all that’s left now is a fist size piece) and she had to buy me a new one. I actually slept with it practically every night up until the night I met my husband (when I was 23). I remember when I was 15 and leaving to be an exchange student, I actually did not pack my sheepski, and my mom made me run back inside and get it and take it with me. Sometimes, when I’m sad or sick or even when I just can’t sleep, I still pull it out and sleep with it. The smell and texture are so comforting to me.

  24. Anonymous says...

    My sisters and I never had an object like that. And my mother never tried to “push” us in having one. But I have seen mothers, that find it “cute” for their kids to have that sort of things around! I’ve had cousins with “loveys” and they had it hard with other kids in school. Grownups just expect that the kids can just “quit” having that support around.

  25. I’m 23 and still have my blanket. When I was in 3rd grade my dog got a hold of the original and I made (while erupting in tears) my Mom take me to Babies R Us to find the identical mint green cotton blanket (which they still had). The original sits in my closest for preservation, but I still sleep with the second one whenever I’m at home. (I’ve recently moved to Africa for Peace Corps and didn’t want whatever creatures I found here to touch it! Though sometimes I do wish I’d brought it as another weapon to battle some of the homesickness!)

  26. Oh my gosh, I just LOVE reading through the comments to see what other people named their child keepsake. Mine is ban-ban, and it is a “he”. My family has always gotten a kick out of the fact that I’ve always referred to it as a “him”. I am 27 (nearly 28 eeks)and totally keep him on my pillow – literally no other pillow case can compare!!

  27. I have had loveys all my life, I come from a really really sentimental family. My current lovey is a quilt (from Mervins, nothing special). But my mom bought it for me when I was in high-school and was experimenting with different interior design schemes for my room. It had a cool blue and purple theme and fit perfectly with the colors I had chosen for my room. It really meant a lot to me that my mom was thoughtful enough to pick it out for me, and it has accompanied me through some real learning experiences I have had over the past eleven years. A lot of memories and feelings! I still have the quilt and sleep with it every night!

  28. Kusha says...

    Now that I think about it…i never had a lovey, neither my siblings..we kind of grew without that concept…wonder if we missed anything… we turned out all fine and doing well….hey…you could do article on that, just saying!

  29. Stephanie says...

    AND, my parents once had to drive back through 3 states to retrieve my bowtie from a hotel in West Virginia after we realized I lost him. I was three. My father insisted that we drive back to get him! It’s my sweetest lovey story!

  30. Stephanie says...

    I still have mine (and I’m 22). I was torn on whether or not I should bring it to my college dorm back in first year. Once I got there, I was surprised at the other people on my floor who also brought their loveys! Mine is a little raggedy stuffed white bear named bowtie :)

  31. my little Fin has pants. a pair of hot pink stretchy pants. i so agree with the wave of thumb/pants nirvana that washes over her. i just want her to stat 2 forever. must be bliss in her little world.

  32. I am 26, married, and still sleep with my silky. Silky is also lingerie- a silk nightie of my mom’s that i fell in love with around 10 months old. My mom recently found a picture that she thinks is the first picture of silky and I together. i just love having him tucked under my neck! my husband has never minded- besides him, silky is my most prized possession!

  33. RK says...

    I have a child sized quilt that my mom made for me when I was in her belly. I have to admit I am 25 and still fold it on my be every morning!I like to think its just sentimental but I still find myself curled up with it….it is just so soft and still in great condition haha. It has always been a reminder to me that I am loved by her no matter what.

  34. When I was little I had a blankie or as I called it “frisita” from “frisa” (blanket in spanish:), I had quite a few because my grandma used to make them for me all the time, and whenever she made a new one, that one became my favorite. I had them until I was 12, only because my parents changed my bedroom furniture :(, if not I would still have them.

  35. I thought I’d grown out of my lovely (a polar bear fancifully named Crystal-Diamond) when I put her on the shelf when I was fifteen and stopped sleeping with her. But last year I insisted on digging before I would let my roommate drive me to the emergency room. She’s still comforting.

  36. I’m 41 and I still have my Ganky…though it’s bleached white (it was once blue) and the embroidered giraffe is just an outline…and it’s folded up and in our blanket chest. I kept it out through high school though, because my cat Tosh loved to sleep on it. I also still have and sleep with (to my husband’s chagrin), my “Bear.” He’s perfectly molded to my face and makes a perfect pillow (and yes, he’s still a comfort to me). I don’t have children…though we’re still trying, but I think I’d let mine have their lovies until they grew out of them…

  37. Danielle says...

    my teddy, who is 32 years old, lives in my closet. my husband pulls him out for me whenever i’m sick in bed.

    better than chicken soup!

  38. Anonymous says...

    I had my beautiful pink & white striped flannel “maineket” – until my grandmother started cutting it up ’cause she was afraid I’d be carrying it when I was 25! I think I was 5 at the time… (I sure wish they’d saved a square of it – I’d love to have it framed)

  39. My baby blanket “tickles” was in the OR with me during my c- section in June :) Now that I have a babe tickles doesn’t get carted around as much but I still sleep with her!

  40. My oldest, 22,had his lovey he got at his 1st birthday on his bed until he moved out. And my 20 year old has his inside a pillowcase because it is so old, he was 6 months when he got it, still on his bed.

  41. I had a yellow blankie with the silk edge on all 4 sides. I had a special “scratchy spot” (probably a section my mother stitched back together) that I could find with my eyes closed and once there would fold my blankie a certain way and fold it over the knuckle of the finger I sucked as a baby. Basically the folded portion would end up under my nose- loved the feel of the soft blanket. Weird I know…childhood habits we develop. I still have my blankie but it’s tucked in my closet for now.

  42. haha, krisel, i never thought about that! :)

  43. you know when you see a cat do that kneading motion with her paws when she finds something she loves? her eyes roll back in her head and she starts to purr?? yea, that’s me and my 25 year old lovey, a crocheted blanket with silk trim. I think it’s so funny that your brother liked his silky lovey cold because i do too! i take my blankie out of hiding (behind my pillow) each evening to air out and cool off. then when i get in bed i hug it close under my chin and rub the silky parts between my fingers. my boyfriend stares in disbelief, but i’m pretty sure he loves it secretly. when i travel, i roll my blankie up in a shirt so that the zipper won’t snag the loosened strands of crocheted yarn. safety first!

    also, much like other stories on here, my mom once sewed a piece of my blankie elsewhere to help me be comfortable. she sewed a piece of the silk into my ski hat so that i could slip off my mitten and touch it while we were going up the chairlift! this was in days before helmets… and i look back and think her gesture was so sweet!

    my parents always encouraged me to have my lovey. it’s the one thing i’ve been responsible for (to pack, remember, take care of) my whole life!

  44. I am all for lovies! I know a therapist who highly endorses them for their self-soothing effects. The ability to self-soothe will help ease anxiety throughout the child’s life. Can’t argue with that.

  45. My lovey (love that term) is my teddy bear, Theodore. I kept him in my bed until I was a young teenager. I am 24 now, and now Theodore has a prominent place on my dresser. On certain occasions when I am feeling down, he will make a trip from my dresser to my pillow. There is a childlike security I get from hugging that silly stuffed bear. I don’t know what my husband’s lovey was, but he completely understands my attachment to Theodore.

  46. I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one in their 20s who is still attached to a “lovey.” I promise I’m a college-grad-fully-functioning-adult, but for years I slept with a blanket wrapped around my pillow every night. I even brought it on my honeymoon, and had to call the hotel (really embarrassing) to ask for its return when I left it there by accident. Unfortunately, our car was broken into a few months ago and my blanket was in one of the stolen bags (I’m sure that’s what they were after…). I’m sleeping just fine without it, but I do miss it! :) Xo, Katie

  47. my son is 11 and still sleeps with his ‘lovey’- a super soft fleece blanket he calls “Cuddly” and has had since he was a baby. It is starting to wear very thing and fray at the edges! He just became a big brother and his quest was to find a “Cuddly” for his baby sister. We looked long and hard for the right blanket and finally found one, now we are the proud owners of 2 “Cuddly’s” in our home!

  48. i seriously still sleep with my blanket, i call it modet and everyone makes fun of me, but it has a or my scent that i cant get enough of. it provides security. i can sleep without it, but prefer not to. :)

    Miyan

    http://www.miyan-overseas.blogspot.com

  49. Anonymous says...

    I think at a certain age it should be stressed that the “lovey” stay in bed, and that it will wait for he/she until its bed-time. That way, they garner the confidence to go to school/outings without the need for a security item. However, I don’t see the problem with keeping it as long as they need it. It’s not like they’ll walk to grad class with it. They’ll grow out of it when they’re ready.

  50. So interesting how some kids need them and some couldn’t care less. I didn’t have any type of lovey but I did use to rub the ear of whoever was holding me when I was falling asleep. My sister, on the other hand, had every type of lovey you can imagine and sucked her fingers for a loooong time.

  51. I still have my lovey. At 22 years old he still gets packed whenever I stay the night somewhere else.
    He’s a tiny Pooh Bear that I’ve had since I was six, and I find it very reassuring to have him with me.
    If I had children I don’t think I would limit their lovey-length, especially because mine never was!

  52. I have to admit… I’m 33 and I still have my blankie from the day I came home from the hospital. It rests under my pillow every night and I definitely crave it whenever I’m sick. Who says growing up has to include leaving behind those things that supported you most when you were little?!?

  53. “its a credit to the child that they are so attached! It shows what big hearts they have. ” = what a sweet line!

  54. anne, that is HEARTBREAKING. awwww, i love that so much. so sad! xo

  55. still have my “banco” though it looks like an off-whitish rasta wig. It’s been retired after hmmmm about 30 years. It’s happy in a little pillowcase in my underwear drawer. I visit it every so often…and smell it. The satin edge was my favorite part. Now for the past 15 years I have a nice cozy big raspberry colored fleece that I sleep with every night. oh the security! My 5 year son has his “minki”…I love that he loves and sleeps with it every night. I totally get it.

  56. My sister at 25 years old still sleeps with her “bunny” – a formerly fluffy Gund jack-rabbit with russet brown fur and a white front. Her bunny now resembles something worse than a well-worn rag. It is in shreds and no longer resembles anything close to an animal let alone a rabbit. (It reminds me of the velveteen rabbit though, about how beauty is when you get all your fur rubbed off and you are beautiful because you are loved!) Anyway. I find this subject fascinating and did my entire senior thesis (and later applied for a Fulbright Scholarship) based on the idea of “textile therapy” – that children (and apparently even adults!) benefit from touch therapy. Touching, playing with, smelling and interacting with fabric and tangible objects like dolls, woven knits and pieces of fabric that carry meaning, tell a story or become a place where children can use the object to create meaning.

    There’s a cool article about it here:

    http://handeyemagazine.com/content/textile-therapy-0

    This just gave me a surge of inspiration to start researching this again. I will now do a post about it on my blog! Visit me :) http://www.innerpeach.blogspot.com

    Thanks!

  57. Anonymous says...

    I had a full size baby blanket until I was 6 or 7, at which point I started cutting off small squares of it and taking a small piece of it with me almost every where I went. I never use it in public, but I’ll always have it in my pocket and feel or smell it when I’m alone. In fact, I’m now 26 and still doing this. I’ve thought about stopping, but by fiance and family (the only ones I’ll pull it out in front of) are so used to it, and it’s so comforting to me, that I don’t really see the point in stopping. It doesn’t hurt anyone, doesn’t get in the way of anything I do and is a sense of immense comfort to me, so on it goes… Although, maybe when I have kids I’ll stop? I don’t want them to think their mom is super weird…

  58. Both my girls (3 and 5) have loveys…with no end in sight. They don’t dare take them out of th house, as there are no replacements!

    Just FYI, there is a wonderful book called “Dirty Wow-Wows”. In it you will find photographs of “well-loved” loveys and their owners stories. It is so great!
    http://www.amazon.com/Dirty-Wow-Other-Love-Stories/dp/1580088325

  59. I still have my lovely! Its a pink bear, and its all torn and too well used! My Grandpe bought it for me out of the blue and I still miss him when I see it! Fantastic post! I feel so nostalgic now!

    I think (well the girly part of me thinks), that we should hold on to these things, as long as we can! Boy or girl, we all grow up too fast and we have the rest of our lives not to have a fuzzy, or a blanket.
    I think its a credit to the child that they are so attached! It shows what big hearts they have.

    Example, notice how we usually love the cheapest of bears most? Its such a pure love!

    Girl about Town XxX

  60. My 3 year old cannot live without her plush polka dot blanket- she calls it her ‘moshi-moshi’ and literally gets a high upon snuggling with it. I will keep it always and pass it onto her as a keepsake.

    I attached to my black wool Oxfam find blanket which I brought all the way from London when I moved here, and would never dream of parting with it.

  61. I had a blankie that had silky edges that I would run between my fingers. I slept with it until I was 10, but I would have done it for longer if we hadn’t lost it on a family trip. (Worst trip ever!)

  62. nawww how cute! my little one must have her blankie and little smelly teddy

  63. I have a stuffed rabbit that I’ve had for years. I took him to college with me and kept him on the bed, but didn’t really ‘snuggle’ him…I just liked having him there. Then when I got my dog, he had to move to the closet for safety reasons (Ella thought he was HER toy). Anyway, he’s still there on an upper shelf in my closet today!

  64. When I was real little my lovey was a green blanket that I used to pick the fuzzies off of. Mom eventually got rid of it because it was so icky looking. When I turned about 8, a lady I knew bought me a gigantic stuffed animal (it was a dog). I named him Barkful & have had him ever since. To this day I still own that dog!

    My daughter’s lovy was a build a bear that my mom made for her when she was about 3. She is 12 now & Alisha still lives here. It wasn’t but about a year ago that she quit taking her EVERYWHERE she went.

    My son doesn’t have a lovey yet but I’m sure at some point he will :)

  65. Anonymous says...

    im 16 and i still have my teddy, and my 11 year old brother still has his ‘friends’ (lamby and puppy)

  66. I’m 30 and have a cat and a bear that now live in my closet ;-)

    But 2 years ago when I lost my father in a car crash when I was 38 weeks pregnant I slept with cat (a present from my father when i was little) and bear untill my baby was born.

  67. Anonymous says...

    My boyfriend continues to throw my soft toy out of the bed whenever she comes in contact with his sleeping self! As punishment I have him kiss her to say sorry, ha ha.

    I am 24, have been with boyfriend for five years, I think my lovey is going to stick around as I quite like having both companions!

  68. i am 28. mine is a hand-sewed little pillow by my grandma. got it since day i was born. now that i am married, my husband shared my lovey :) i hug it to sleep at nights, it ends up in his arms in the mornings.

  69. Andrea says...

    I never got a lovey until I was 21. My sister bought this stuffed cow with the most gorgeous eyes and a name tag which said Marlow. I’ve never been a “lovey” type person but for some reason, I couldn’t let Marlow go. If I am overnight anywhere, Marlow comes with me. So far, Marlow has travelled the world and seen some amazing sights, including the Northern Lights. Right now, he shares the bed with me and my fiance. I’ve got the best of each side of me :):) Don’t think I can relinquish Marlow anytime…not even to my kid. I might get them a new one.

    Such a great topic! I thought I was the only one who had an obsession with my lovey!

  70. My Son (2,5) has a few toys he never goes to bed without or anywhere outside the house. They are three plastic dinosaur toys and a teddy bear is another one. Which is the very first lovie he got from about the age of 1,5 Back then there was a bunny too, but bunny got very sad looking (embarassing to take on outings, so to say), so we had to put bunny on the plane to the bunny land. (got rid of it! Pssst!)
    Every now and again my kid attends to get a hold of another toy or two … to the ones he already has (three dinosaurs & a teddy) but i insist four is just enough! Hands full we are!

    And i really can not wait for this passion to slow down, because usually they end up in my handbag, or getting lost every now and again… then we go back and look for them as the world without them wouldn’t be the same :)

    PS: I never had a lovie myself! :)
    Cheers!

  71. Anonymous says...

    I turn 30 in a month. I’ll have had the bear about 20 years after glo-ted went missing. I still have him: I wish I had gotten him a teddy’s passport as he has lived far and wide

  72. I’m 26 years old and have a Cabbage Patck Kid named Anna Marie who I’ve been with since I was…maybe three years old? She’s my traveling companion and friend. LOL.

  73. A really dear friend of my family has an amazing collection of priceless antiques; he is renowned for his repair work and gives appraisals to top auction houses. Sitting on the mantle piece in the center of his house are two aged, much loved teddy bears- his childhood lovey and the lovey of his best friend who passed away years ago. :)
    I think loveys are wonderful. I have had my own teddy bear forever, and he will always be one of my most prized possessions. When I sobbed all day at school, he was who came to school in my backpack and made me feel better. I also think that it is important to respect the value children give to their lovey… they are cherishing and loving something. Teach them to care for it! Don’t tell them loving something that much is the behavior of a baby… We all should love things that much.

  74. yeah, I’m 23 and when I moved to England there wasn’t a snowball’s chance that my lovey (a stuffed dog) wasn’t crossing the pond with me. He’s just kind of in the bed with me (I wouldn’t say I cuddle up with him anymore) but if I’m homesick it’s much easier having him there.

    That being said, I don’t have a fella so the game may change whenever he rolls around.

  75. Paige says...

    i still sleep with mine…i’m 21. whoops.

  76. How cute! I still have my panda bear that was my lovey, but I haven’t slept with him in over a decade. As a toddler I always had him, but I just sort of gradually grew out of it.

    My son has gone through periods of time where he was really attached to one toy or another, but at this point he always throws them across the room before falling asleep. We “accidentally” brought home a receiving blanket home from the hospital with us when he was born (they’re just so much bigger and better for swaddling!) and he slept with that until a couple months ago when it went missing. He was really sad at first, but soon got over it. Then he found it and it had little black spots (mould, I guess?) that wouldn’t wash out so we had to throw it away. Now he still asks for it when he’s in a needy mood, but I’m kind of glad we broke that attachment already. My boyfriend had a roommate once that still slept with his blankie as a grown man…. needless to say, he’s been single for years…

  77. I’m in college and I brought both my stuffed animals that I sleep with every night with me. I’m not embarrassed….

  78. I’m 25 and married and I still sleep with my stuffed dog and an eeyore stuffed animal that I’ve had since I was 4. I always thought when I was little that they were alive (like Raggedy Ann/Toy Story). They both survived an apartment fire my senior year of college that destroyed everything else I owned, so maybe they are! :)

  79. I’m 19 and I still keep “Cowie” on my bed. I don’t snuggle with my pink stuffed animal cow but I refuse to throw him away or stuff him in my closet somewhere.

  80. i’m 21, but i had to pack my blankie away around 7 or 8 years old because it had more holes than actual fabric and i wanted it to remain in one, relatively untattered piece. it’s still at the bottom of my parents’ closet in a sealed plastic bag under strict orders to never ever throw it away. that’s all the security i need from it for now ;)

  81. For some reason, I always fell asleep playing with the tag that all pillows come with. So although the pillows/tags change, I still have that habit of playing with one as I’m about to fall asleep. I’m turning 21 next month, and I still do it!

    I also had a blankie that I used to sleep with for like the first 7 years of my life. It’s packed away in a chest somewhere back home, so I haven’t seen it since I went away for college.

  82. Lindsay says...

    I’m 27 and still sleep with my stuffed bear, Teddy Beddy. I rarely snuggle with it, but it’s just always on the bed and makes a great eye mask to block out the morning sun!

  83. I’m 26 and I still sleep with my “hippo.” He is a ~3ft x 1ft stuffed animal that I’ve slept with since I was six or seven. My husband thinks its cute and never gives me grief about it.

    I loved that on our honeymoon in July when I went to grab my bag he said, “don’t worry, I have hippo!” and had hippo carefully tucked under his arm. ha!

    It seems silly (and embarrassing) at times, but oh well, a little piece of childhood that stays with me :)

  84. I had my lovey until a few years ago when I lost him! It was a real tragedy, which just goes to show how important loveys are to kids (even when they’re not really a kid anymore :).

  85. Anonymous says...

    I had two loveys (lovies?). One was a white teddy bear -it sits on my daughter’s bookcase, it’s now gray and shedding. The other was a pillow. I loved that pillow so much that one day when I was 15 or 16 my grandmother decided it was time to intervene. You see, the case had worn through so the stuffing was coming out. When I came home from school and noticed my pillow was gone I nearly threw a fit. I literally fished it out of the garbage (sewing garbage so it wasn’t gross, but run it through the washer), and triumphantly put my pillow case back over it.

    Well, my grandmother, seeing how important the pillow was to me, sewed me a new casing. I took it to college with me, I took it with me after I got married, and when I had my daughter, I re-cased it for her and now she uses it. (Of course I wash(ed) and dry(ed) it regularly to make sure it’s not disgusting.)
    cg

  86. I still have my blankie–it’s sitting in my lap right now. I can go three, four days without it, but even then it’s a bit rough not to have it at night. I’d be heartbroken and have some sort of meltdown if it were to get lost or misplaced.

    My mother asks me if I’m going to bring it into bed with my husband when I get married, but I’ve already had it through college so…yes. :)

  87. Joanna, I almost peed in my pants reading about your brother’s lovey! Women’s lingerie that smells like fish?….I didn’t read all the comments but am I the only one who sees the irony? Coincidence? Or am I the only pervert in your vast readership?

    Anyway, I was told by our child development guru that loveys are not to be taken away bc they are the transition from parents to independence. And, lets me honest how independent to any of us every grow from our parents?

    Great post!

  88. I received Carmelita the bear as a Christmas present from my sister, when I was 8. I am now 39, my son is 7, and his love is Carmelita who is now 31. They’ve been BFFs since he was born.

    He tells me he’ll save her for his kids one day…

  89. i am 25 and have no problem with the fact that i still have my woobie (blanket). i bring it when i sleep out and usually have it with me when i sit and do school work or watch tv.

  90. I love reading everyone’s stories of their special blanket/toy! My sisters and I all had the silky liners of parachutes for our baby blankets (our Dad is now retired from the military). The best part is they were enormous and had all these small strings around the edges. It made them the best for fort building (rearranging dining room tables, chairs, coffee tables)as we grew up.

  91. My five year old sleeps with her stuffed elephant (Blue Man) every night and he goes most places with us. He’s a bona fide member of our family and I would never dream of tucking him away (even I’d miss him too much!).

  92. I’m 21 and my collection of loveys has only grown over the years! There’s Bee, my blue blanket that my mom got as a baby shower gift, my teddy bear Pogo from age 4, and a stuffed dog named T-bone from age 10. Recently I added a build-a-bear from my boyfriend named Bearasaurus. They all hold special places in my heart and they all are always in my bed. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to let them go and frame them or save them somehow, but as long as they have their own place in my life, I see nothing wrong with keeping them forever!

  93. Anna Woodward says...

    I’m 21 and I sleep with my mom’s maternity nightgown, which also happens to be a silky material. In fact, I call it Silkie! I still get a sense of comfort and relaxation when I have it near.

    Also, my sister was 25 before she got rid of her ragged pillow, Blue Checkie (it was a blue checked fabric).

  94. I wanted our daughter to find a lovey because I thought it might help her self-soothe at bedtime (at 19 months she is still not a great sleeper), but she has never latched on to anything we offered. She has a stuffed animal that she takes to daycare but if I forget it she doesn’t seem to notice. Neither my husband nor I had lovies. Maybe it’s genetic?

  95. Oh! I had the SAME lovey as you (the teddy bear) which will always be known as ‘Twinkie’. I saw your link and I said, Twinkie! She had a Twinkie!

  96. dotty dot dot says...

    I’ve never heard the term “lovey”; I like that.

    I didn’t have one growing up, but my husband did. When I moved into his place after we got married, I found a ratty old bear in the closet, and knew instantly from its worn-out body that it was a childhood favourite. He never told me about it, but I found it so endearing that he still held onto it.

    I put it back without saying anything and fell in love with my husband just a little bit more that day :)

  97. I handed over my blue pillow (that had been recovered 7 times) on the night of my rehearsal dinner in front of dear friends and family. Cold turkey. I was 25 years old.

    This pillow went everywhere I did. Family vacations, my college dorm, the sorority house – even backpacking through Europe. I snuggled with it for over 23 years.

    It now sits in a box in the guest bedroom closet.

  98. i still have my teddy and blankie that also wrapped me up in that “thumb sucking nirvana” when i was young. every once in a while i pull them out and bury my face in them and relive memories of tea parties at my grandmothers, tummy aches and chicken pocks, and snuggles with my sister and my mom. my sister only stopped laying her childhood blanket over her at night when she got married at 26. comfort is memories. :)

  99. i still have my blankie, and probably will never ever get the guts up to get rid of it completely. thankfully, my ‘lovie’ is inconspicuous as a blanket, and so i think i can get away with taking it on every vacation i have ever gone on etc…

  100. My husband has a stuffed dog named “Woggie” (because he couldn’t say his “D’s” when he was young!). He’s kept him near wherever he has lived and Woggie now lives on our dresser in our bedroom. I adore it.

  101. Anonymous says...

    I had a blanket for years probably until I was 10 years old but eventually I just stopped using it. Although I confess I still have it packed away because of the sentimental value. Kids will grow out of them when they no longer need that comfort and assurance in my opinion.

  102. i had a little yellow blankie. still do actually. i don’t sleep with it or anything anymore, but i always travel with it. even if it never leaves the bag or box, it is on major voyages. it used to have a satin lining, but that was removed the afternoon i got into my grandmother’s red lipstick and blotted all along the edge of blankie. i thought it was a beautiful addition, though.

  103. I am 25 and slept with my stuffed otter my entire life! I only left him behind when I went to college, because I was afraid something might happen to him there. Now that I’m settled in a normal place again, he stays on my dresser and sometimes joins me at night.

    Totally not weird. =)

  104. I have my bear, Fred, who still sits in the corner of my bed, usually buried under a pillow or two and dressed in overalls.

    Mum loved me having Fred but never wanted me to get teased at sleepovers or camps for having a bear so she invented the story that Fred was very very shy and might not like how loud we were. He always went for a sleepover in mum’s room when I wasn’t home and it was a perfect way to get around having a ‘lovey’ but not letting it get in the way of me growing up.

    I still love Fred and he is usually in my bed buried under a pile of pillows ready to come out and snuggle when I’m sick or feeling blah.

  105. my sister had a “night-night” blanket she wore to shreds. eventually, our mom had to cut it up so they could be rotated when they needed laundering. poor kid was devastated when the hotel housekeeping thought it was a rag (well, it was ratty and gray and gross by then) and threw it away!

  106. Anonymous says...

    I still can’t sleep/live without my doll from infanthood (circa 1986)! She will be packed in my hospital bag when I have my first baby for sure.

  107. Also meant to add: my father had a blankie when he was kid that my grandmother took away from him when he was about 5 years old. She took it and cut it up and he was so heartbroken about it that he never wanted to take mine away from me! His was cloth diaper (a clean, never used one of course!).

  108. I’m 26, married, a dog, a cat, a house, a car, a career. WELL grown up. And I still sleep with my “baby.” (Never heard it called a “lovey”!)

    As a kid, my mom’s one rule was that I couldn’t drag it all over with me. It stayed at home and was really only intended for sleeping/napping. I took it to college, to study abroad in London, and everywhere I lived after college. I can only remember spending a handful of nights without it!

    I’m so attached to it that when I sleep, if ever it escapes my grasp I will actually wake up groping around in the dark for it. I don’t see a thing wrong with it. I’m a mature, well-adjusted, self-sufficient person who happens to have slept with the same square of fabric every night of my life! Who cares? It comforts me.

    I’m glad to see I’m not alone! :)

  109. Emma says...

    I’m fourteen and still sleep with my purple bear when at home! It’s not so much as a comfort to me at this point as it is that I’ve just always slept with something in the crook of my arm and don’t know how not to! I don’t bring it on short trips or sleepovers or anything though – I think there’s a line to be drawn somewhere if a child needs to grow up – My dad always told the story of being told as a seven-year-old that if he wanted to go on the fishing trip with the men, he had to leave his blanky behind.

  110. I still sleep with my teddy bear, at 23 years old!

  111. I have my little pillow from when I was a baby–I named it Pillow (creative I know). My grandmother used to wash it and sew it up over the years as it deteriorated. Now it stays in a pillowcase to protect it. I keep it inside my other pillow, it adds just the right amount of extra neck support :)

  112. My husband and I each had teddy bears (his “Bear Bear” and mine “Brown Sugar”), and we each slept with them until the day we got married. Bear Bear and Brown Sugar now sit side by side on a chair in our bedroom, and they will always be loved even if they don’t sleep with us anymore! :-)

  113. Jenni says...

    Aw! When we were little, my sister and I used to carry around those seamless cloth diapers (they used to be really soft, right?) Mine was ‘Wabby’ and hers was ‘Bubby’. I don’t know when we stopped carrying those, but we still have the baby quilts my Aunt made us. Mine was ‘Picture Blanket’ (each square had a different picture) and my sister had her ‘Cherry blanket’. Just recently, I put mine away because I don’t want it to get more worn out than it is…(after 25 years? LOL)and I’m married. Funny, like one of the other commenters, my Mom and grandmother decided that I shouldn’t bring it to preschool, in case I lost it or something, so they bought me another blanket (it was scratchy, and I hated it). At first I thought it was just ‘extra’ and kept insisting that I bring my picture blanket. I think my mom eventually gave up ;)

  114. I had my “little pillow” until sometime in high school when it “disappeared.” Haha. I still wonder what happened to it! It started out as a winnie the pooh pillow but soon became basically a rag. It had the most wonderful scent! So comforting…*sigh*

  115. I’m 26 and still sleep with my “blankie” I’m a mom now and will let me son keep his lovely as long as he wants. It’s a little blue hippo that we named “hip hip” we can’t talk yet. My husband has a pound puppy that was his lovely and it’s in his sock drawer and he is nearly 30 years old.

  116. Anonymous says...

    Im 22 years old and I sleep with my teddy every night!

  117. OH and instead of saying lovey in my family we always called our animals babies.

  118. i never had one when I was little! I find that weird that I didn’t because most everyone I know did!

  119. I slept with my teddy bear Oatmeal from birth through high school.

  120. I always think about this. I’m 21, and I still sleep with my childhood teddy, along with one of my boyfriend’s childhood stuffed animals (he gave it to me as a gift!). Part of it probably has to do with the comforting aspect of “loveys” (I LOVE that term; never heard it before though), but also I have to sleep in very specific positions because of a lack of cartilage in my shoulder joints, so my bear has sort of become a way to compensate for the awkwardness of my sleeping positions! Even in adulthood, Benjamin Bear serves an important purpose.

  121. I am an elementary teacher and I just took my class to camp last week, and 90% of the 3rd grades (8 and 9 year olds) brought a “comfort item” as we put it. I think it is totally normal for kids to be attached to stuffed animals or blankets. When they get to preschool age, I think the rule should be only in bed, but other than that let them keep it. I had my teddy bear sleep in my bed with me all through high school and it is still at my mom’s house. I get super sentimental even now when I see it…and I’m 27. :)

  122. Anonymous says...

    Any one who loves a lovey should find the book “Dirty Wow Wow,” a beautiful homage to a wide variety of loveys. My sister and I (both grown ups now) sleep nightly with our loveys, Spesh (short for “Special Pillow) and Rabeet (alternate pronunciation of Rabbit).

    You’re never too old for comfort.

  123. Elena says...

    Similar to your brother’s lingerie, Joanna, I had “siltzies”, meaning “silkies”. I didn’t have a particular lovey, but until I was about 5 I would cuddle with any of my mom’s awesome 80s scarves, sucking my fingers on one hand, and rubbing the scarves between my fingers on the other hand. I can still remember the intense pleasure of this… I actually remember once when I was about 4, while sitting in the car, I noticed that the lining of my raincoat was also “siltzie”. I can still remember being delighted!!

  124. Anonymous says...

    My husband turns 30 at Christmas and he still has his under his pillow… he calls him blankee (and it’s definitely a ‘him’)

    Kate
    Leicester, England

  125. Elena says...

    Similar to your brother’s lingerie, Joanna, I had “siltzies”, meaning “silkies”. I didn’t have a particular lovey, but until I was about 5 I would cuddle with any of my mom’s awesome 80s scarves, sucking my fingers on one hand, and rubbing the scarves between my fingers on the other hand. I can still remember the intense pleasure of this… I actually remember once when I was about 4, while sitting in the car, I noticed that the lining of my raincoat was also “siltzie”. I can still remember being delighted!!

  126. Anne says...

    My childhood lovey was a thin yellow blanket with satin edges (probably one of my baby blankets, now that I think about it). Like many other commenters, I loved its satin edges the best! I kept it under my bed so the satin parts of the blanket would be nice and cold when I got into bed. I slept with it every night and it got quite tattered and holey.

    As I got older, I relied on it less and less and would sometimes forget to pull it from under my bed for several days. When I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I got into bed one night and realized it had been a while since I’d snuggled with my blanket. But when I looked for it under my bed, it was gone.

    When I told my mom my blanket was lost, she said she thought I was too old for my blanket and she had thrown it away and it was gone.

    I was DEVASTATED. Crying, I begged my mom to tell me every detail about when and how she’d thrown it away, thinking maybe there was a way we could go to the dump and find it. She told me she’d thrown it away three days ago and there was no way we could get it back. I BAWLED.

    As I melted down, she hastily assured me she’d put it in a plastic bag and sealed the top so it would stay clean and safe in the garbage truck. Somehow that made me feel a little better.

    I’ve thought about that day often over the years, but it wasn’t until I was in college that it finally occurred to me that maybe my mom hadn’t REALLY taken the time to put my beloved blanket in a sealed bag to keep it clean in the dump. One day I asked her about it, and she was astounded that I remembered her saying that…and then admitted it was just something she’d said to make me feel better. Sigh.

    I’m in my 30s now and have kids of my own, and thinking about my special blanket being thrown away without a proper goodbye still breaks my heart. I would never discourage my kids from a lovey! (And my mom apologizes to me every time the subject of lovies comes up!)

  127. My boyfriend tells this horrifying story of being 5 and his father calling him to the basement, standing with his blankey in one hand and a fire poker in the other, in front of a roaring fire…

    You can imagine the rest of the story.

    I stopped sleeping with my bear sometime in college… probably when my boyfriend took the space in my bed :) It just seemed like the right time.

  128. I am 25 years old and my Pinky still has a home in my room. I’ll admit she now lives in a box under my bed rather than on it… but there is still something comforting about her, something familiar in a new city with me.

  129. Anonymous says...

    I got my first lovey when I was 2 years old; it was a stuffed hippo. Originally, it had been given as a gift to my grandmother when she was in the hospital. I immediately fell in love with the little hippo and after my grandmother passed away, the hippo came home with me. I am now 23 years old and although I no longer hug my hippo as I fall asleep, I still keep it on my bed. I don’t travel with her out of fear of losing her and I don’t think I’d pass her down to anyone because she is already falling apart a little bit. My twenty something brother is a total guy yet he still keeps his baby blanket under his pillow.

    It’s safe to say I have nothing but good thoughts and feelings towards lovies. They provide comfort and as we grow older, we attach memories and meanings to them which I guess makes them feel tangible in the form of a lovey.

  130. I had a security blanket as a wee one; when I was three, I received a teddy bear for Christmas that I named Casey. The blanket was put away … oh, before I was in school. But I have to tell you, Casey still sits on my dresser. And on those really dark nights of the soul – you know the ones – if I’m just weeping fit to break, I will take her down and curl up with her next to my neck. It’s bittersweet to remember the comfort this could still offer me as a child, and yet something of the old childhood anthropomorphism returns; I can’t look at that face without seeing sympathy and teddy bear wisdom. I say, let them keep them as long as they want. I cherish all the memories of Casey. I took her along to museums as a child; I was convinced she wanted to see the works of famous impressionists as much as I did. I remember, in particular, insisting to the security guards of the Seattle Art Museum (I was 7 or 8 at the time) who weren’t sure they could let a bear with a head that round and, well, frankly bomb-like, into a foreign exhibition, that she would be lonely and scared if left in the coat check. =) they gave us a pass.

  131. I got a snowman (from the book The Snowman) when I was 5. I literally slept with it until college when my mom bought me a new one (no joke) because the other just couldn’t withstand the constant travel. I cried at first. The older one remains at home so I still see it but the new one is in my apartment. My boyfriend has a blanket that his mom made for him that he still sleeps with. We’re both normal people. It’s just a comfort.

  132. i guess there’s something about cold satin cloth, typically on the edge of blankies, that’s so so comforting. i’ve had my blankie since i was born, and i still snuggle with it at night at age 28. now that i’m pregnant, blankie can provide a tiny bit of tummy support where a pillow would be too thick! when i’m sleeping elsewhere, i find that i unconsciously bunch up the comforter so i have something to hold in my arms against my chest.

    my blankie’s satin edges are ratty and torn, there are lots of threadbare areas, and i honestly fear the day where i will have to retire it in order to preserve it.

    since age 5 my mom would ask me if i was embarrassed to still be soothed by my blankie, but i never took it to sleepovers or family vacations. i did take blankie to college with me, (and found i wasn’t the only one, male or female, who couldn’t part with the trappings of childhood!) but i chose not to bring it with me on my semester abroad. i know it’s ridiculous to have such a pavlovian comfort response to a physical object, but i turned out pretty normal and functional, so i see no harm in keeping a “lovey” around.

  133. I still have mine… it lives in a drawer by my bed. But the fact that I still have it is a testament that I never really cared about it. It’s practically in perfect condition. My mom gave it to me on my wedding day… I think it meant more to her than me! My brother, on the the other hand, loved his to pieces and carried around it’s raggedy bits for years. He’s jealous I still have mine. Haha. Oh well. I guess I get to recycle it for my kids!

  134. Ann-Marie says...

    I’m 28 and still have my baby blanket, though it’s retired and lives at my parents’ house along with my other most beloved falling-apart stuffed animals! My brother (33) totally has his in his closet, too.

    And I now sleep with a teddy bear my husband gave me for our first Valentine’s 11 years ago… he doesn’t mind sharing the bed with “Herbert”, luckily. ;)

    I disagree that love is “wasted” on an inanimate object — there’s no set amount of love inside us, you can’t run out! And also a tiny, crazy part of me thinks they might love us back. :)

  135. I’ve still got the rabbit (Blue-Clad, because he wears blue) that I’ve had from childhood. I don’t sleep with it anymore, but I like knowing that it’s around…

    windeater.blogspot.com

  136. I wonder if its an estonian thing or what but i never had anything like that..neither did my sisters or brother. After reading all the comments about grown ups still having their loveys I asked around and could not even find any friends who still have something like that..of course everyone had favorite toys as a kid but noone has them now or finds them important.really makes me wonder why is that? As long as i remember I always preferred to cuddle to my dog or cat rather than any toy or blanket.

  137. My son age 12 and daughter age 10 both still sleep with their lovey. I feel like it is one of those great comforts that connect you to your inner child and I strongly believe in allowing them to have them for as long as they feel comfortable. It’s like extra hugs and snuggles when you’re not around :)

  138. I’ve had a bear (creatively named “Bear”) since my Mom got sick when I was little. She had the same bear for her in the hospital, and I got one too.

    I still sleep with Bear every night (although he no longer comes on road trips or travels anymore). And when boyfriends sleep over, he just sits on the shelf.

    Nothing wrong with a little comfort when we’re falling asleep. The bed should be as comfortable a place as possible, right? No matter what makes it so?

    http://www.lifeneedsedits.com