Tags: baby, family travel, photography, travel

Motherhood Mondays: Sleeping in Denmark (This Made My Jaw Drop!)

We talked last week about taking kids outside to play every single day, even in cold weather. Well, listen to this…

In Scandinavia, it’s common for people to take their babies outside for naps. And, when they go into restaurants or shops, they’ll even leave their sleeping babies alone in prams outside!

“When I lived in Helsinki, I noticed baby carriages outside most cafés,” says my sister-in-law Emily. “I assumed the babies were inside with their parents. Nope, they were sleeping soundly outside in their carriages while their parents were hanging out inside. Now there’s a country with a low crime rate for you!”

“The parents are usually really close by, near the window,” says photographer and mother of two Jenny Brandt, who lives in southern Sweden and went to Copenhagen to take a few photos for Cup of Jo. “I think the whole thing started because the cafés and shops are so small.”

What happens if a baby wakes up? “I’ve walked into a café letting the guests know that ‘the baby in the blue pram has started to wiggle around and looks like he’s about to get up,’ ” says Jenny.

It sounds crazy at first, right? But it would actually be amazing and liberating, I think, as long as your town was safe. How wonderful to just pop into a store quickly without waking up your baby; or to eat dinner with your spouse while your baby sleeps, and then all walk home together.

Plus, many Scandinavian parents believe it’s healthy for babies and children to be exposed to cold air for a few hours a day. In fact, the Finnish Ministry of Labour specifically recommends it (see page 24 under “naps”). “Parents feel that their child is more alert and eats better after sleeping outside,” says designer and mom of two Elisabeth Dunker of the blog Fine Little Day , who lives in Gothenburg, Sweden.

“My friends tell me that in Swedish daycare, naptime for babies is always outside in their prams, even on the coldest days,” says my friend Kim, who lives in Sweden. “They bundle them up and make them cozy, and park them outside. They say it builds health for the kids–physical toughness as well as reducing colds/germs that would spread if they were all cooped up inside.”

Not all Scandinavian parents are completely sold on the idea, though. “I’ve never let my kids sleep outdoors unattended, wouldn’t dare to!” says Elisabeth. “I would be afraid that someone would take them.”

I have to say, I kind of love this idea! Toby sleeps through the night starting at 7:30pm — it would be amazing to be able to take him out to dinner, where he could sleep soundly in the fresh air. Think how much money you’d save on nighttime babysitters, and it’s really nice for the family to be together, even when the baby is asleep. But it’s illegal in the United States. In fact, back in 1999, a Danish mom visiting Manhattan left her sleeping baby girl in the stroller outside a restaurant–and got arrested.

What do you think? Isn’t this fascinating? Does this all seem nuts or amazing to you? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts — all the cultural norms and differences are incredible! Every country, city, family and parent finds what works best for their sweet babies. (It reminds me of this wonderful documentary.)

P.S. More Motherhood Monday posts… xo

(Photos taken by Jenny Brandt/Dos Family for Cup of Jo)

Tags: baby, family travel, photography, travel

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Sara

February 15, 2022 6:51am 6:51 am

It isn’t just the Nordic countries that do this. I live in Berlin and there are so prams packed outside of cafes and restaurants and stores. I think it is very common in much of Europe. I think the idea of crimes rates are irrelevant, because even if it is in an area of higher crime (such as some neighborhoods in Berlin), the crimes have nothing to do with children. I think from a German point of view, kids are a ton of work and so the feeling is that nobody would take your child, ever, because, well – good luck with the feeding and screaming and nappies. I know in the US, we are taught to be worried about abductions, but even there they are statistically incredibly rare. Looking at data, you could easily leave your baby outside a cafe in NYC as well.

Deana

December 23, 2021 12:01pm 12:01 pm

In 1983 I was in Helsinki on a student trip, and I freaked out when I saw what I assumed was an abandoned baby in a pram outside a shop! But our professor calmly explained that the mom had one eye on the pram from the large window of the shop. I asked him, aren’t they worried about kidnapping, and he said, “No, they don’t do that here.”

Frida

December 23, 2021 12:19am 12:19 am

Mom from Finland (Helsinki) here. Like the article says here everyone does it and tbh I never even reflected on that it might nit be the case in other parts of the world. On Wednesdays I go to a parent-baby work out class and afterwards there is a group of us that all go to lunch to the same cafe in the middle of the city center. The café has big windows so we can see our strollers all the time. Some parents bring baby monitors so we can also here if one of the babies starts to fuss/cry. But it looks super cute when they’re all napping next to eachother bundled up in their strollers outside the window. They’re all wearing layers and layers so they are definitely not cold. Oh and I’ve never heard of any babies gone missing, it would have made the news if it happened. I guess that’s an upside of living in a small country, we all kind of trust eachother.

Sarah

December 21, 2021 6:11pm 6:11 pm

French/American mamma here…
My son is 14 months and pretty much ONLY sleeps in his stroller. When we get home, I go through the back and pop him outside the laundry room window, and crack the window. He’ll stay out there for hours. I bundle him up if it’s chilly, and he wakes up cooing and happy.
This is *such* a lovely way to balance a family’s needs- going into shops/walks/baby’s nap schedule. Every time I go back to France and other parts of Europe I am amazed at how different child-rearing is there. So much less insular/isolated. In my opinion, far more holistic than the American approach.

Lissy

May 25, 2021 11:59pm 11:59 pm

Baby cages used to be a thing for this very reason. (One of the first people to rig one up was Eleanor Roosevelt (the First Lady of the US) in 1909. Anyway. They were very popular in London until the blitz. It allowed babies to get fresh air in cities.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/65496/brief-and-bizarre-history-baby-cage
Nowadays most people would buy them for their cats but it makes me think maybe for babies it would be good to bring back. Especially in cities.

Jenny Dullere

March 29, 2020 3:59am 3:59 am

Here is my experience. My husbands mother wrapped him up and put him on the porch in the winter for a couple hours a day. When he grew up he was insistent that he could never get warm. I slept with a window cracked open and he would wake up and scream at me because he was so cold.
This is also the woman that left her son in Wisconsin with her sisters family for a year because her husband was going to be stationed in New York. She would not leave her husband just a young child in grade school. He grew up feeling rejected always.

Gillian Anderson

July 11, 2016 8:09am 8:09 am

When I first read about this being a thing, I put it into practice immediately. I have two young children- 21 months and 7 months. For afternoon nap, I take them on a walk in a double stroller, then when they are asleep, we come back home and I let them sleep while I work in my garden. I can’t wait to see how this works in the winter! I think it’s brilliant. I Google searched “how to get baby to sleep outside” and this was one of the articles that showed up! I’m in Minneapolis, MN and it would most certainly be illegal to leave them outside of a business, but there aren’t many shops around where I live anyway. I love this!

Anjelica

Reply to Gillian Anderson

August 10, 2018 3:59pm 3:59 pm

How did it go?

Rebecca

Reply to Gillian Anderson

December 21, 2021 9:55pm 9:55 pm

Ummmmm, casual Gillian Anderson?!

Rebecca

Reply to Gillian Anderson

December 21, 2021 9:56pm 9:56 pm

Ummm, casual Gillian Anderson?!

Eva whervin

June 16, 2016 4:54pm 4:54 pm

Hi, i am from the Czech Republic. Up to when I was a teenager ( i left the country then i was 20), prams were regularly parked outside shops, with babies inside, whilst mums were doing their shopping. And that was in the heart of the city. If babies woke up and cried, there would always be someone near who would rock the pram until the mum’s return. Usually senior citizens. We also believe that the afternoon nap should be taken outside in the fresh air. Living in England i noticed that children are not taken out everyday. This most likely have something to do with the fact that it rains so often. But i learnt to improvise. When my children fell asleep in the pram, and it started to rain, i would pull the rain cover over and leave the pram in the garden, obviously making sure of air supply, and let them sleep.

June 16, 2016 1:02am 1:02 am

Dear all Scandinavian parents: The people that are making a big deal about leaving your baby outside are mainly North Americans. Please continue doing this and don’t let anyone tell you that it’s wrong. Being from Canada, I am so envious of how you Scandinavians live and wish that we didn’t have to constantly live in fear. We (in North America) constantly live in fear that our children are going to be kidnapped or fear of what others might think. We are constantly being judged by others about our parenting and made to feel that we need to watch our kids 24/7 because if we don’t, we are a bad parent. If we (in North America) were to leave out child outside like this, we would likely be reported to Child Welfare and be charged with neglect and likely have our child taken away. Seriously. There was a case recently in the US where a 12 and a 10 year old were playing in their own backyard by themselves for 20 minutes and a neighbour reported them to authorities and the parents were taken to court for child neglect. It is so so sad that we have to live this way and even if we don’t want to be helicopter parents, we still face the fear of what others might think.

Kate

Reply to K.

July 4, 2017 8:48am 8:48 am

This just reminded me of an appalling story that happened to my sister-in-law last year. My niece and nephew were playing in the living room of their house and – being 3 and 5 – they love to run around naked. Well, on this particular afternoon the curtains were open and someone must’ve seen inside because the police showed up at the door asking what we were doing in the house. Apparently, someone had called the police to say we were filming child porn in the living room. I wish I was exaggerating :( What a horrible thought. The police came in, took a brief look around, realized it’s a normal family home with normal kids running around and left us alone. Thankfully – it could’ve been much worse. I have no idea why someone would jump to such a conclusion. I care about the welfare of children as much as the next parent, but that is just twisted.

Inna King

April 6, 2016 4:31pm 4:31 pm

This post made me miss Finland, my home country. In Houston you cannot do it for few reasons: temperature being the major one – it is too hot and second; you would get arrested for that. I wish it would be doable, as babies sleep longer naps that way.
Being a mother abroad; Sometimes feels like an easter surprise egg in one’s hand when you come from a country, where one is tolerated to do so much more, e.g. leaving the baby in a stroller or letting the kids walk to school and that is the model I have learned. You keep guessing what can you possibly get away with here ;) Instead of the stroller I have done the very Finnish thing…our baby learned to go to sauna when he was 4 months old :)

March 20, 2016 4:12pm 4:12 pm

My baby has been sleeping outside in his stroller since he was born. No weird thing about that :) It’s so practical. If I need to go groceryshopping or something, I can still do it while I take him with me.
He always wear 2 or 3 layers of wool inside his sleepingbag (the inside of it is also made from wool) during the winter season. Wool helps regulate the temperature like nothing else <3 So he's never (ever!) cold. I think it's weird that people don't do this elsewhere.

-Norwegian mom

Meri

January 17, 2016 5:28pm 5:28 pm

Oh this brigs back memories from when a friend from Australia was visiting us in Finland. First he saw our baby sleeping outside when it was -20, when he did see how much clothes the baby was wearing he seemed to think it was okay-ish. Then he saw me and other mommies nursing in public, and was surprised that we breastfed our babies at all. But when I sent him to the mall to get me some sour milk to drink, he must have thought I was completely nuts :)

Irina

January 15, 2016 4:42pm 4:42 pm

Had no idea that was such a big deal, everibody does it in Russia. We may bot leave the babies in a straller outside the coffee shop but we put the m in the balcony of we just walk around with them wile the are asleep. Weird that it surprices you!

Dark lips Tips

October 16, 2015 8:07am 8:07 am

OMG.. That’s a huge post . Thanks aman

Alice

October 15, 2015 9:06am 9:06 am

Here in Romania we would be completely irresponsible for doing such a (wonderful) thing. If you’re not carefull, even your older child can be snatched from under your nose in the park by shady people (who usually traffic organs/put them up on the black adoption market in the West). It’s seriously dangerous.
Such a civilised society… It will take us hundred of years to have this level of trust and respect for one another.

Elizabeth

October 9, 2015 6:03pm 6:03 pm

Is it also ok in extreme heat? 100°F give or take?

Asnate

Reply to Elizabeth

October 12, 2015 5:05am 5:05 am

In Denmark, Sweden etc never is 100 F !
:D For a short moment in summer it can get as hot as 30 C (until 90 F), but then families still spend time outside, in the shadow with babies.

Sofia Ferreira

October 5, 2015 6:57pm 6:57 pm

OMG! I would never do that!! (Portugal)

Kathi

September 8, 2015 1:11pm 1:11 pm

I live in Iceland- am from Germany. For me it was very strange in the beginning to see the strollers outside houses. After speaking with different people I realized how normal it is for everybody. When I got my baby it was no question for me- an also recommended from our midwife- to let our boy sleep outside.
He naps way better outside in all weather than inside.
And I realize how happy I am to live in a country where I can feel so save

Rebecca

June 25, 2015 8:55am 8:55 am

In the UK you defo couldn’t do this. You literally have to be watching your kids the whole time so much so that when you give birth, your baby has an alarm fitted on his/her ankle by the hospital staff which sounds if someone takes the baby from the ward.

Hanne

Reply to Rebecca

June 25, 2015 2:36pm 2:36 pm

Both my children have done their daytime sleeps outside since they born and until they were two years old(come rain or shine) . They sleep much longer and get lots of fresh air. Our nursery have been very supportive and accommodated it in their setting too (in a very safe way) and it even started a trend amongst the other children ;-) I wouldn’t leave the pram outside a shop or cafe though – I have probably lived too long in the UK to dare that!
And I live in the UK (although originally from Denmark).

Runa

April 1, 2015 4:11pm 4:11 pm

I am a Norwegian mom living in the middle of Norway in a fairly big city (by Norwegian standards) and it is the usual thing to do, even in winter. I didn´t put babies outside to sleep in winter before they were 6-8 weeks old, and not if it was colder than -10 Celsius (14 F).

And of course I left them outside shops and cafés. I don´t think a baby has gone missing in Norway from a pram ever. That would have made the headlines of the biggest newspapers.

Irina Tapkhayeva

February 12, 2015 7:59pm 7:59 pm

Totally support this, but only if there is a safe environment. We live in Vilnius and so happy we can leave the stroller outside cafes where we can sit by the window.
I love Dr.Spick! Sometimes old school is the best way :)

Julie

February 12, 2015 2:01pm 2:01 pm

I think it was not uncommon to leave babies unattended outside stores in the U.S. in the 50’s and 60’s. I’m an old school fan of the American pediatrician Dr. Spock and he recommended all babies sleep in a room with an open window, year round…and he lived in the NE

Damar

Reply to Julie

July 17, 2018 3:44pm 3:44 pm

It wasn’t. I grew up on a farm but my husband grew up in Washington DC in the 50s. His mother routinely left him outside in his pram asleep under the neighbors’ open windows. He was under a year old and slept while she shopped a short block away or hung the laundry. “I’m going to the mailbox, would you keep an ear out for Jonny?”

Lea Dyhrberg

February 12, 2015 6:38am 6:38 am

Oh this post made me happy for being Danish :) my mother had us sleeping outside, both when out and at home. I still love sleeping outside, just being outside really and i am rarely ill.
I love the fact that my country has so low a crime rate that this is possible.. I will, as both my sisters have done, have my babies sleeping in the fresh air when that time comes.

Cindy

July 20, 2014 6:09pm 6:09 pm

I was born in Denmark, I grew up here and I’ve lived here for my entire life (Now 15).

It is indeed common for babies to sleep outside even in a cold winter months – in front of daycares there can be like 7 prams with babies sleeping outside and the adult inside reading a book or cleaning.

When my cousin’s son (6 months old) was being baptized he slept outside for the entire party afterwards. We didn’t even see the baby at his own party. The guests were inside eating and talking, while the one everyone was celebrating was sleeping outside in Copenhagen.

–

I’m not sure I would leave my future-child unattended in Copenhagen, but well we’re all so different.

–

Also I remember being told the story in school (learning about American culture) about the Danish woman who left her child outside in NYC and got arrested. Haha – It was a part of my culture studies in 5th grade!

Something I also learned from culture studies was nothing really bad ever happens here. Scandinavia is (in my opinion) really safe.

–

I love your blog by the way! Very interesting x

Cindy | Mazedays.blogspot.com

Trine Koo

July 8, 2014 12:59am 12:59 am

This was a great post! I have never realised that not all babies sleep outside, seems so natural here in Finland! It is common to put your baby for nap on your yard or balcony. As a Finnish mom I have never left my baby outside a shop, even it truly is quite safe to live here.

asima khan

February 27, 2014 3:58am 3:58 am

Your blog is absolutely remarkable..!!!!Oak Bunk Beds

Eyvind

February 12, 2014 5:23pm 5:23 pm

Hello, I live in Scandinavia, Norway, and find it very interesting that this sounds so strange for many in the US. We (and all of our friends) always leave our kids outside the small shops and cafes if they are sleeping. It allows them to get uninterrupted sleep during their nap time, and the parents get to drink their coffee in peace. We always feel it is completely safe (and we live in the biggest city in Norway), but of course we check on them every now and then, to make sure they haven´t woken up. Also, people who pass by are often very helpful and pop their heads in to say if one of the babies outside is crying. In kindergarten all the children take their daytime nap outside. The only exception is if the temperature drops below minus ten degrees Celsius, then they sleep inside. This outside sleeping works perfectly for all of us, and makes it easier to let the baby sleep when he/she needs to, as they don´t have to wait until we get home from an errand.
Discovered your blog today. Wonderful!
M.

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