Motherhood

Would You Find Out If You Were Having a Boy or a Girl, or Keep It a Surprise?

mom-baby

My darlings, if you were pregnant, would you want to find out if you were having a boy or a girl, or would you keep it a surprise?

When I was pregnant with Toby, I was on pins and needles; I would never have had the willpower to wait to find out the baby’s sex. I’m a huge gossip by nature (never tell me a secret!), and I wouldn’t have been able to wait patiently for nine whole months for the gender reveal. (Funnily enough, though, if we have another baby, I think I would want to wait, just to try it both ways! Can you imagine how exciting it would be while you were in labor?)

Here’s a cute video of a couple finding out their baby’s sex. They asked their doctor to write down “boy” or “girl,” and without looking, they gave the piece of paper to a baker. Then the baker made a cake—with either blue cake for a boy, or pink cake for a girl—covered with white icing. Finally, that night, the couple invited friends and family over while they cut the cake…and revealed the cake color!

What about you, my lovelies? Would you prefer to wait, or would want to find out? If you have kids, did you know their sexes ahead of time? I’m so curious…

P.S. Do you secretly hope for either a boy or a girl? (I did!)

(Photo by Lazareva Valeria; video by Tupelo Honey)

  1. Someday, in the distant future, when my hubby and I have kids, I feel like I would want to wait to find out.

    But then again, who knows. I think you can’t really determine if you’d like to wait until that little life starts growing in you.

  2. we did not find out (I love surprises!) and it did make the moment she was born even more fun. we were shocked she was a she (and glad, we both secretly hoped for a daughter).

  3. i don’t know if i can wait.i don’t think i can wait…

  4. LisaL says...

    That video is so sweet and special. We didn’t know for our first two boys, then I had to have an ultrasound for the third pregnancy. I had gone to school with the technician and as she did the test, she said, “Congratulations, it’s a boy!” I already knew–I just knew. But my husband looked so shocked. She said, “Oh no, do you have other boys? Maybe I’m wrong.” I laughed and said, “It’s okay. This one is my Ryan.” And it was! It’s special either way.

  5. I’m not getting married until next March and am not near having a baby, but hopefully not to far away…this would be a great way to find out!!!! I love this!

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  7. Anonymous says...

    We weren’t going to find out, but wanted to so badly that we called the ultrasound tech back and she told us over the phone. We decided, though, that we would keep it a secret from everyone else and let our older daughter announce it when the baby was born.

    She was the first one to come in after the baby was born, so she was the first one to get to hold the baby, be told that she had a brother and hear his name. She invited my parents in and introduced them to the baby, then she made all of the phone calls to our family and friends to share her big news.

    My daughter still calls him “her baby” and tells people that she got to reveal the surprise. It was a great way to do it and we’ll do it again with our next baby.

  8. i have kinda planned my family already :P A boy and a girl!! But i would like to wait to know the gender.. That is if I have that kinda patience at that time ;)

    raeyoflife.blogspot.com

  9. Anonymous says...

    I hate to be a total killjoy, but I’m pretty sure this was staged for a reality tv show (one of the cupcake shows.) A couple we know was approached by a production company to do this exact thing. The party was to be staged for the shoot. They had their doc write the gender on a piece of paper and sealed it and were waiting to hear back from the producers when I saw them about a month ago. I guess they decided to go with a different couple.

    Unless this is a thing people do now, but I’m super skeptical.

  10. Anonymous says...

    We didn’t find out we were having a boy until he was pulled out. I felt like I knew but it’s the best surprise. I actually think it’s more fun planning and guessing when you don’t know, otherwise everyone sticks to the tried and tested pink for girls, blue for boys, boring!!

  11. aww.. that’s cute!

    I wouldn’t want to know actually.. keep the suspense going! What matters is the kid’s health!

  12. I always thought I would want to find out, I’m terrible with surprises. But once it was my turn, pregnant with my first baby, my husband and I decided it would be awesome to wait. We chose to wait because we didn’t want to start projecting a vision onto our unborn child. It was a really interesting opportunity to explore our ideas about gender as we basked in the unknown. Keeping our baby’s gender a mystery also helped keep a cushion of privacy between us and everybody else. I also think we got really good useful shower gifts (gender neutral… good if we decide to have another). The moment my DAUGHTER was born, it was like aha! We knew it was you all along ♥♥♥! Definitely wouldn’t change a thing. But the video you posted is super cool! What a wonderful idea!

  13. michaela says...

    i’m due in february with my first… definitely planning on finding out! i feel like giving birth will be surprise enough! (i also feel like i deserve a treat after feeling so crappy during the first trimester!)

  14. That is a really sweet (and great way to involve family and friends) way to find out the sex of the baby! My mom waited to find out about me when she was pregnant, and I always think I’d love to wait- but I’m not sure how I’ll feel when the time actually comes!

  15. p.s. some comments talk of waiting to know being motivation to get the baby out…lol…never needed that.

  16. We found out all 4 times. Having a baby is a big enough deal that I felt no need to be “surprised”, though in conception and through the first weeks you don’t know, and you sure didn’t decide what it would be, so…
    Plus I like getting to know my baby while it’s growing…not knowing would be a barrier for me.

  17. When I was pregnant, I tried to know the sex of the baby as soon as possible, i wanted a girl!
    But I have a little Jon and I think I can´t love more a person than him. I would like to have another baby, i wish it was a girl ; ) and i will ask for the sex again!
    But now i know, that it does not matter if it is a boy or a girl, i will love him/her with all my soul.

  18. Oh that video put such a smile on my face, what a neat way to find out with family and friends all around you. LOVE the cake idea! I don’t have kids but if I ever do, I honestly don’t know if I’d want to know beforehand. That would be the neatest surprise if you wait ’till the end!

  19. OMG! This is beyond precious! I always think that I would want to be surprised but I don’t know that I could stand the suspense. Thank you so much for posting this! It certainly made my morning bright!

    wildmagnolia9.blogspot.com

  20. I’m due in 4 weeks and we’ve decided not to know the gender of our baby. It’s so much fun to think about different names and try to decorate in a way that’s meaningful and beautiful for both genders.

    I will say it’s very hard to ensure the doctor keeps it all a secret. I have to remind him constantly not to reveal the gender!

    I can’t wait to find out if it’s a little girl or a boy (I really want a girl).

    -erin

  21. My hubby and I are pregnant with our first child and we just found out the gender on Monday—IT’S A GIRL! :) We felt the same as you, and just couldn’t wait to find out what we were having. We did through a gender reveal party for our friends and family, and it was great fun for them! :)

  22. JessCole says...

    I didn’t find out but I did somehow know deep inside that it was a boy (it was!). For me, the excitement is what is the sex, who is this little person. A lot of my friends find out the sex and name the baby already so when the baby is born, I’m just not that interested. I like the surprise!

  23. I had a baby boy in March and I didn’t find out. I live in India where it’s actually illegal to find out the sex of your baby because of the high levels of female foeticide that exist even today. I guess finding out makes decorating the nursery and shopping for clothes easier; but I loved the element of surprise as well :)

  24. I decided to find out what species it was, but waited til it was born to find out the gender. as it turned out, it was a male pigeon-hawk! <3

  25. hazel says...

    We waited & it was the best surprise of my life!! I convinced my husband, who loves to plan, to wait too. I told him he could find out, but that would be a secret impossible to hold. When our daughter was born 10 months ago, we were both secretly hoping for a girl but convinced it was a boy (everyone said it was and I guess we believed them).

    At her birth, the midwives didn’t say anything…and I assumed it was a boy and said “its ok, little boy.” The midwives asked if I knew and said we could look. For a minute or two, it was wonderful just being with our baby without any expectations or ideas about gender…just this new wonderful being. When we finally looked, it still took us a while to see that she was a girl…(I thought her swollen genitalia was testicles, my husband thought the cord was a penis)…and then when it hit, we were SOOO surprised and elated!!!

    So so wonderful and I’d be surprised again without second thought. I knew I’d love my baby either way, so it didn’t matter to me if I knew if she was a boy or girl.

  26. I think it is sorta romantic to wait and see- my friends who waited said the whole “It’s a…” at the birth made it that much more meaningful but I’m SO impatient. I HAD to know the gender so I could buy clothes and also to sort of mentally prepare myself. I felt like I could relate better knowing the gender of the baby. So I will probably find out next time on the off chance it is a GIRL and I’ll need to redecorate the nursery and buy all new clothes. However- if we end up having both genders…any subsequent children may end up being a surprise. :OP

  27. I love the idea of coming up with a fun and clever way to find out – any excuse for a celebration! And I would never be able to wait – I’d want to know how to decorate baby’s room!

  28. That is an amazing and extravagant way to find out the gender! They must have pondered the idea for quite a while. I found out the gender when I was pregnant with my son and will do it again when I have another. My boyfriend and I can hardly keep birthday or christmas gifts a secret (we usually shop for each other the day before or end up giving early!) so there is NO way we could wait to find out something so important! I also love that it makes planning a whole lot easier. I couldn’t resist the urge to start buying baby stuff early. At least I knew what I was shopping for this way. I have friends with boxes of the wrong gender clothing packed away because they didn’t find out, shopped early, and either bought for both or were wrong. :)

  29. I normally am very impatient and i cant keep a secret either, but my husband and I have decided we want to be surprised! Im not even pregnant but I have a gender neutral nursery all decorated in my head and all we have to do is add some purple accents if we are having a girl, or green for a boy.

  30. I looooove this! I was desperate to find out if I was having a boy or a girl. My grandmother said she knew it was a girl and then she passed away. I was like a crazy person, taking online tests, looking up old wives tales. I do think next time I might wait though… probably not gonna happen but maybe!

    Kacie
    http://www.acollectionofpassions.blogspot.com/

  31. I think I would need to know immediately, but after watching that adorable video, that’s how I want to find out for sure!

  32. When it’s time for me to have kids, I will be a doctor. This unfortunately will rob me of the ability to choose the surprise route — I’d be able to figure it out myself form the ultrasounds. What an interesting predicament!

  33. Anonymous says...

    We didn’t find out our babies gender as our hospital in london was in an area where there was a high level of abortion requests if the baby was a girl (a discussion for another time)
    I wanted a girl desperately and was overjoyed when my daughter was born I was totally out of it and turned to my partner asking “do you like her?” he replied “er what are the options” indeed!

  34. We didn’t find out the gender with either of our pregnancies, and (despite my type A personality) I loved not knowing! There is so little a newborn really needs in terms of gender-specific clothing and gear, so we did everything (nursery, bought clothing, etc.) after our babies were born. It was really fun because I felt like I knew their personalities and could really shop for them specifically! Both of their deliveries were full of such anticipation and joy in ways that are indescribable! We have a little boy and a baby girl, and should we ever have a third we would not find out the gender for sure!

  35. That video is adorable! The couple is so sweet!
    I don’t have kids yet, but I think I’ll try to wait for a surprise! I think I’d want to know in the last month though, we’ll see!

  36. Charlotte says...

    My due date is feb. 14 :) which makes me almost 3 months pregnant of baby #1. I want to wait till I give birth to find out the gender because I think ultrasounds should be used for medical purpose, to make sure everything is ok with the baby, not to satisfy our curiosity. Even if I did know, I’m not even sure I would tell just because I don’t want to get a bunch of pink frilly things if it’s a girl! That said, I’m only at three months, so maybe my curiosity (and my husband’s!) will eventually take over…
    By the way Joanna I love love love your blog!
    Props from Montreal!

  37. these comments are making me tear up, thank you so much for sharing! xo

  38. dinah clare, that is so beautiful: “when it’s just me and the baby spending time together in the same body I think I will want to know it’s name; to know which one of my dreams it is.” so, so sweet.

  39. Oh my goodness, Joanna, you find the best stuff online. This brought tears. What a cute idea! I am definitely doing this when my hubby and I get pregnant (hopefully soon!).

  40. Wait Wait Wait- it’s so worth it! You’ll never have a more amazing surprise. I could never deny myself that moment. I wasn’t into the all pink or all blue anyway, so decorating wasn’t a problem and because I didn’t know- my wonderful friends and family gifted me things I truly needed instead of millions of dresses or rompers with puppies on them.

  41. I secretly hoped for a boy and me and my husband (he said he wouldn’t metter if it was a boy or a girl) wanted to know ahead the sex of the baby… It was only at 24 weeks pregnant that we finnaly received the confirmation that it was a baby boy. In my dreams I would always see a boy. I secretly known it was one, although almost everyone was saying it was a girl.
    I have some friends who did not wanted to know ahead. When their baby was born the song that was playing was “it’s raining man, aleluia”, and the doctor said: “are you listening to that: it’s a boy!!” How perfect is that?? :-)

  42. Val says...

    My first child was not breathing when she was born, only for a moment, but the doctor was busy and it was long enough for my husband to see and tell me we had a girl. I loved that I heard it first from him. I should have told the doctor not to tell me and let my husband give the news with our second child but I was too involved with labor that i didn’t think of it. Our second child was born face up and huge. The doctor and nurse stood there exclaiming about the size and the way the baby was born and it gave my husband time to look and tell me we had a boy. I love those sweet memories!

  43. I wouldn’t find out. It’s one of the real, true surprises in life, and I’d like to experience that.

  44. I was dying to know, looking back I was so excited about finding out it was just silly…honestly, hand on heart I did not mind if it was a boy or a girl…I just wanted to know.
    And it’s a girl..29 weeks now.
    But my husband had given a lot of thought to the matter and he was very pleased it was a girl, as that was what he had wanted.
    I then got a speech on how wonderful it was to have a girl and how sad it is that in some societies in the world the birth of a girl is not good news.
    Anyway its all good and we are very happy and she is kicking me big time as I write this :)

  45. Anonymous says...

    i think the whole cake thing is obnoxious. i have not decided whether or not i want to have kids, but things like this irritate me to no end

  46. JenAHM says...

    We just had our first baby in April and we didn’t find out until she was born that she was a girl! I think our families were more anxious to know than we were — we plan on finding out the next time around, but wanted this first one to be special. I was pretty convinced the whole time it was a girl, though….I had always pictured us with boys since we have four nephews, but once I got pregnant, I was just drawn to all things girly. It just seemed so natural then when she appeared.

  47. As one who isn’t a fan of surprises, I couldn’t wait! I booked my ultrasound for the first day we could find out at 18 weeks. My husband and I knew, called our far away friends and family, then held a Gender Reveal Party for our friends close by. I think I will probably find out for all my kids. Now we are just waiting for our little girl, Claire, to arrive! Any day!

  48. I had NO desire to wait!! I am the kind of person who cannot stand too much suspense, I will fast forward a horror film, just to calm my nerves. So, it was inevitable that we would find out the sex before I gave birth. Plus, that gave me plenty of time to plan his (it was a boy)room! But, I could understand why one would choose the surprise, it is a very exciting time!!

  49. Swordspoint says...

    We waited to find out, and I’m so glad we did. Everyone predicted I was having a boy, and although of course there was no reason to think they were right, when EVERYONE says boy, you sort of get used to the idea. Then at the delivery, they said “Here’s the baby… Oh, it’s a girl!” and I was THRILLED. So exciting.

    The only time I regretted not finding out was when we had about a week to go and still hadn’t settled on names — I was thinking at least we could have chopped this job in half. : )

  50. my children are so grownup that when I was pregnant with my first (1976-77), the only way to find out the sex of your baby was by amniocentisis. I did have amnio done with my third child but I told them i didn’t want to know what i was having until she was born–a girl. my fourth and last baby — i did have a sonogram but still didn’t want to know, boy or girl–boy! i bore 2 boys and 2 girls.

  51. i am due with my first child in january! my husband & i have decided to wait to find out the sex & surprisingly, it’s not hard at all to wait. i think that there aren’t too many surprises in life & this is such a great one. i can’t wait to find out what this little one is. all of my feelings lean towards girl!

  52. i absolutely don’t have the patience to wait and find out. the hubby and i actually find out next week if we’re having a boy or a girl and i CAN… NOT… WAIT! it’s our first baby so i’ll obviously be excited either way, but for some reason he and i always pictured our first being a girl. we shall see!!!

  53. I’m now pregnant with my 3rd child and we are waiters. heh. we waited with our first (a son), and again with our second (a girl). The joy of reaching down and pulling that baby up to you is such bliss that both times we forgot to even look to see the gender. hahaha. with my daughter, we were already snuggling her when our doula asked, “so, is it a boy or girl?” we had to lift her up to check it out. i try to talk all my friends into waiting. it’s so amazing. plus, it helps with not over spending on a bunch of unnecessary baby items before the babe arrives.

  54. I would find out right away. I liketo plan and be prepared. Wouldnt it be a surprise either way :)
    Cute video

  55. I don’t know what I would do. My BF says he would want it to be a surprise but I’m thinking once we’re in the moment he probably will want to know. That video is incredibly sweet. What a creative and exciting way to find out what the sex is!

    Fashionable Collections

  56. When I will be pregnant, I don’t know if I would know the gender of my baby but I love this cute idea!

  57. I never found out with either of mine. But, I just love this idea of the cake … it’s just such a beautiful way to do it with family and friends all present. Just lovely!

  58. we waited to find out! Even though I was 99.5 % positive we were having a girl. I just knew from day one.

    We had a home birth (in a tub) and I love how our midwives just let my husband and I cuddle the baby and not shout out what we had. The after 5 minutes or so I peeked down and checked to see if my huntch was right and told everyone it was a girl (as if I had to check!). And that moment was really special to us- for the two of us to welcome her like that… to be the ones that revealed that info.

    Then the phone calls to family were so great because we could say “we had a… girl!” and the continued surprise was really touching. We’ll keep it a surprise for the next baby too.

    ~abigail
    tiptoethrough,blogspot.com

  59. Long time reader, first time commentor!

    I am pregnant with my 2nd child, due in 5 weeks. With our first child, I didn’t want to find out the sex. So my husband and I enjoyed the surprise at the birth of having a girl.

    Now with the 2nd, my husband is the one who thought that the surprise was SO GOOD the first time he has insisted we don’t find out (even though I kinda want to, in regards to planning etc etc). Now that it’s so close to the due date, I am glad we have waited. It will be a fantastic surprise!!

    But finding out the sex is so cultural. I am in Australia and it’s about 70 – 30 people who find out (most find out). A friend of mine in Portugal, everyone finds out and tells the name of the child so people can call the baby it’s name, even before the birth. So different!!:)

  60. we waited when we were pregnant with y 10 month old quinn. it was just the icing on the cake when i got to announce “it’s a boy” as they lifted him from me. and if we are blessed with another baby, i don’t think we’ll find out what he or she is either!

  61. Hi…We have 2 and didn’t find out with either of them – a wonderful surprise. Although ‘if’…and ‘if’ we have a third (!) I think I would find out. Not sure why. Maybe because I have one of each and I could then get busy passing on the clothes we wouldn’t need!!

  62. I don’t have any children nor expecting, but I really think I want to keep it a surprise. As well as for me as for the family.
    You can buy lots of nice clothing for babies which is suitable for both boys and girls and you mostly receive clothing of family and friends when kids just arrive on our beautiful planet.
    So… it would be a really nice surprise!!!

    Love,
    Nancy

  63. the video was pretty fun and so lovely moment to know the child sex ?! coooool .

  64. I’m 7 months pregnant & we knew after the first ultrasound (10 weeks) that we were expecting a little boy!
    I have to admit that we both hoped for a girl at first but we are so happy to have a baby together…
    Maybe that’s why waiting 9 months to know his gender wasn’t an option, it gives us some time to deal with it.

  65. Well, I’m due with my 6th in a month. We haven’t found out with any of them. I thought the first five were going to be boys. ALL GIRLS. I think this one is a girl. Maybe it’s finally my boy?

  66. Just like you I don’t think I’d have the willpower to wait to find out! And although having a baby, either boy or girl, is a blessing I’ve been secretly wishing to have a baby girl since …well forever!

  67. We found out the first time and it was the most amazing surprise as I was convinced it would be a boy and out popped our little Lulu, our beautiful girl. I am due again in November and having a scan tomorrow and we can’t decide yet!! I want to know and he isn’t sure…I think it’ll come down to a coin toss!!

  68. That video… Americans never stop baffling me with their craziness Always outdoing themselves.

  69. I am due … NOW!! We know but no-one else does, it is lots of fun hearing everyone guessing and having their opinion about what sex the baby (and why) is going to be…!

  70. I found out. I wanted to. I wanted a boy. I wanted a boy as my first child since I can remember, having several older sisters and not really enjoying that. I KNEW a boy would have been much nicer.

    I don’t think I could wait. I don’t think I’d go out of my way to find out but I’m a bit of a freak about worrying and got every ultrasound I could. plus being in the hospital with daily sonograms for a week before his birth due to my water breaking at 32 weeks…I don’t know how I could not have known.

  71. We are waiting and it’s awesome! In fact, so amazing that a friend who swore she would never wait has said that she might want to wait now when she gets pregnant (soon!). Best suspense EVER! And my husband is convinced it will be a huge motivator during labor as we attempt a natural birth.

  72. I loved reading these comments! I didn’t find out for either of my girls. (Everyone told me I was “carrying a boy” both times!) When my older daughter was born, I was so overcome with emotion that after several minutes our midwives asked whether we wanted to know her gender. Having had a girl once, there were some clues for me the second time around. But these surprises were the best of my life no contest!

  73. Hey Jo,

    I am writing for the first time though I am an avid and religious follower of your wonderful blog.

    Here in India, the doctors do not reveal the gender of the baby. I didn’t know if I was carrying a boy or a girl inside me, during both my pregnancies. Though I must confess that I was eager to know the sex of my baby the second time as I desperately wanted it to be a girl. In India, sex determination tests are banned as certain communities in the country consider daughters as liabilities and hence get them aborted.

  74. oh, i will just have to find out as soon as possible when that situation arises! i’m afraid i’m too much of a planner…

  75. Michelle says...

    I have two little ones and expecting my 3rd and I haven’t found out with any of my pregnancies. It’s a nice little surprise and exciting to hear whether it’s a boy or a girl.

  76. I want to know. We’ve had names picked out for so long and I want to attribute those names to a little personality as soon as I can. I know we’ll call it “the baby” to each other, we can’t help but call our fish “the baby”! But when it’s just me and the baby spending time together in the same body I think I will want to know it’s name; to know which one of my dreams it is.

  77. My sister just told me she’s pregnant! (The first of us 3 sisters, so exciting). She’s waiting to find out. Her hub is one of 3 boys so it’s even chances

  78. we are not finding out. i figured that friends and family can learn how to buy gender neutral stuff…or just buy less clothing. if my mom could go with a surprise 5 times i’m sure i could do it at least once.

  79. THAT is absolutely adorable! what a great idea and such a fun way to find out with your famiy, too! :)

  80. I was dying to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl! My hubby and I just found out last Saturday that we’re expecting a little man in December- after I was so convinced it was a girl, I am over the moon at the prospect of raising a son! Miles (Milo) Henry is already so loved, and knowing he’s on the way has helped me bond with him even now. I started a journal for him that I write in so when he’s older he’ll know just how much I loved him from the moment I knew he existed!

    Veralynn
    joiedeveralynn.blogspot.com

  81. Hello Joanna! I just discovered your blog and can relate to so much that you’ve posted about! I have a 13-month old daughter and am living in NYC as well. We also didn’t wait to find out the sex of our baby. It would have been, practically speaking, impractical for planning purposes. Neutral colored clothes for a baby = “oh what a cute little BOY!” Plus, as a first time parent, I think there are enough surprises, don’t you think?

    petitemom.blogspot.com

  82. Find out for sure! On our island we all swap baby clothes and items. If you want in, it helps to know who you are collecting for!! First time I thought I wasmhaving amgirl and he was a boy. Second time a reversal. I am not a very good guesser!

  83. I had been dieing to know the what my baby was pretty much since the day she was conceived, I just coudn’t handle it, I HAD to know! And I would do it again, too

  84. That is the cutest thing I have ever seen. So sweet! I’ve always wanted a girl but thought I was having a boy with boy pregnancies until we found out!

  85. When it came up to knowing my gender, for some reason the doctors had to call my father. My mother initially wanted to know, but when my father came up to tell her, she refused and decided to keep the surprise until my birth. So my father was the only one to know, and was secretly buying (somewhat) girly pajamas for months haha!

  86. We have chose both ways. Our first two children we didn’t find out the sex of the babies and were nicely suprised. Our first born was an incredibly emotional moment as we had no idea what the child’s sex was, As my husband held him we just both cried tears of joy we couldn’t believe this little boy was ours! When our daughter was born, my husband cried out said “it’s a boy” the midwife replies “look again” and there she was our cherub girl, it was an amusing moment. Our third we chose to find out the sex and I loved that as a different experience. We knew he would be our last so we wanted to be prepared and that worked really well for us. Beautiful either way.

  87. I really think, I would like to know, especially if it’s my first one! Because you have to buy clothes for the baby, decorate the room, and all this stuff that requires you to know the gender! I mean, come on! What are you going to put on the baby shower invitations?
    “It’s a.. we don’t know!”
    hahaha

  88. It’s actually the “sex” of the baby, not the “gender” you find out. Gender is the range of characteristics, masculine or feminine, learned culturally and socially that distinguish the male sex from the female sex. Sex is the biologically make up of a person.

    Just fyi!

  89. shelley says...

    My first baby is almost 22. Back then we got a picture that resembled “skelator”, No way to really know the gender. He has always been a fun spirited joy . Now he is out there trying to save the world…..check out moralfibers.co, A group of young men working to rebuild Haiti through art.

  90. I’m pregnant right now, so I just went through this. After initially saying I wanted it to be a surprise, I ended up changing my mind when my normally laid-back husband reeeaaaally wanted to find out. Now I’m glad we did, it helps us feel closer to the baby to think of him as a little boy we’re growing rather than just an “it” or something.
    I was surprised by people’s negativity toward waiting, though. It seems like they see it as almost selfish that you won’t provide them with this information so that they can get crazy with the pink or the blue.
    Although we know the sex, we’ve decided to wait to name our little mister until we meet him… we’re hearing opinions on that now as well, but we’re sticking to our guns!

  91. I would definitely keep it a surprise! :)

  92. We found out on the first two and decided on number 3 to make it a surprise. It was amazing! Looking back, I wish we would not have found out on the first two. As I was told, life does not have many surprises as you get older, so why ruin this one?

    Sarah

    http://www.jugglinginheels.blogspot.com

  93. Merrilyn says...

    I am by nature a planner and organizer, so I HAD to know so that I could have the nursery appropriately decorated, clothes and accessories purchased and ready, etc. The way I figure, it’s a surprise no matter when you find out. However, I have a friend who has had 4 babies, and has found out at delivery all 4 times. She had 3 girls, and then her youngest is a bouncing baby boy!

  94. Cute cake idea

    I didn’t find out for all three of my beautiful babies.

    BEST decision ever – I loved the moment of finding out – and its one of the only true surprises left in this life where we try to control oh so much!

  95. I’ve never been pregnant before, so I cannot with certainty what I would do, BUT I hope to have the patience to wait until the birth. My sister waited and we were all on pins and needles dying to know how their family was going to take shape. Plus, I’m hoping it’ll be a great motivation to get that little love bug outta there!

  96. We found out for our first, but when we got pregnant a second time we decided to keep it a surprise. Imagine our surprise when we went in for the 20 week ultrasound to find out we were having twins!! After that discovery we decided we had a lot to plan for, so we found out our twins were both girls, as is our oldest. With my third pregnancy I knew if it wasn’t twins again I wanted it to be a surprise. I must have really thought it was going to be a girl, because when our sweet little boy was born in March, I was shocked! I loved every minute of the suspense, and it was well worth it!!

  97. I recently found out two of my friends are expecting (to make it more interesting, one of them found out the day before my wedding and the other the day after my wedding. What a magical time!) and neither of them want to find out the sex of the baby. Personally I think they’re both crazy. Of course I want to know! So much to plan for! So many cute things to knit! Sure you can stick with gender neutral colors and themes, but… where’s the fun in that?

  98. I am pregnant with my fourth. I have three boys already and I am dying to know what this one is (although a bit terrified too!). We have found out with each of our pregnancies and loved it every time.

    I have to say though-
    I am a labor and delivery nurse and have witnessed hundreds of babies being born. Some moms already knew what they were having, and for some it was a surprise. I have NEVER seen ANY mom that was disappointed that she knew or didn’t know at the time of birth. Everyone is always beyond happy either way! You just CAN’T LOSE!!

  99. congratulations to all the expectant mamas!!! i LOVE these comments, so fun and fascinating xoxo

  100. When that time comes, I hope that it will be a surprise!

    My mentors have always said, “there are very few things left in life that you can be completely surprised about”, but this is one of those things!

  101. My parents waited to be surprised when my sister was born. Her pregnancy was so similar to the one she had with my brother that my mother “knew” she was having a boy.
    They were so dumbfounded in the delivery room that my sister didn’t have a name for the first 4 days she was alive. lol.

  102. That video was just adorable!!! I shed a little happy tear. I am just too antsy and with my son I HAD to find out. It did not matter either way I just wanted to know :)

  103. We kept it a surprise… it was my husband’s idea at first and I thought I would never be able to wait but then as time went by (and as we got closer to the d-day) I was quite happy not to know, it kind of took away some of my fear of the delivery itself :) During labor though, the hospital staff kept refering to the baby as a ‘she’ and both my husband and i were looking at each other like they totally blew our surprise, so i couldn’t believe it when our little boy arrived !! I would do it again xx

  104. I always say that I would want to wait, but I’m honestly not sure that I could!

  105. There are so few surprises in life — and I truly LOVE surprises — that I think I’d wait to find out. But the detailed planner in me would love to know in advance for shopping & decorating.

  106. We did not find out our baby’s gender and it made for such a fun pregnancy (and delivery, sort of)! Plus, since people couldn’t give us with boy or girl stuff we were given a lot of neccessities, like diapers. Next time around I think it will be harder to wait but I can’t imagine doing it any differently.

  107. My husband and I did not find out what we were having, yet the entire time I was pregnant everyone insisted I was having a boy. My mother even bought boy clothes. When the doctor announced we had a girl in the delivery room, I cried because I felt the world made since now. It was the three of us from then on, and no anticipation after. Completely worth the wait, a million times over.

  108. While I think it is totally special to find out the sex of the baby, I don’t really understand all this ceremony that goes into revealing the gender. I mean, there’s a 50/50 chance either way…
    That said, we found out the sex of our first daughter ahead of time, then we ended up having a really medical birth (c-section). The second time, we did a total 180 and didn’t find out ahead of time, and I ended up having a drug-free birth (Not that there’s any correlation!). But we decided to wait the second time because like another poster said, there are so few surprises left in this world!

  109. that video is so sweet!

  110. The thing is, it’s not always up to you. We wanted to find out the sex of our baby & when the time came for the ultrasound the technician couldn’t tell because bubs had it’s legs crossed and was all curled up. We had 2 more ultrasounds (mostly because they weren’t able to get the measurements they needed because of how curled the baby was) and they were still unable to tell. By the time my due date came I was SO EXCITED to find out what was in there finally! The funny thing was when SHE finally came out and the nurse put her on my chest we were so ecstatic about our little baby it was literally about a minute before the nurse asked us “well? is it a boy or a girl?” It was so funny! I loved the surprise and anticipation and if we have another we won’t be finding out.

  111. honestly, i am a super impatient person. i chose to wait to find out the sex of my child and it was the greatest thing ever! everyone was sure it was going to be a girl — everyone! even ladies id see on the street.. but nope! we have a gorgeous little boy!!! :)

    while we were pregnant we took a birthing class.. we were the ONLY couple who were waiting to be surprised! i couldnt believe it!

  112. I’m pregnant with my 2nd baby (my first was a boy and we had to find out!) I’m 38 weeks now and we still have NO IDEA what we’re having!

    We will know when the baby is born!

  113. We did not find out with our daughter (only child so far). We have a video of us sitting in the birth tub just seconds after she was born, checking between the legs, and me saying “it’s a girl!” You can hear my mom and sisters crying. It is the most special thing. I can’t wait to do it again.

  114. i already have two girls 4 and 3 years old i found out with both with them, like you i couldn’t wait! i am pregnant with number 3 and i thought i might wait this time…but at the 20 week scan i knew what i was looking at…we will soon have a set of 3 girls!

  115. i love the video, i def. got emotional for them. ha. i want to find out because i would like to prepare the babies nursery as well as find names etc.

  116. I would want to know if I could. It’s one of life’s great surprises whether you hear it at the doctor’s office or the delivery room.Cute ideas of revealing it:-)

  117. oh my gosh I just teared up at my desk at work…embarrassing! this video is so presh

  118. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and we find out what we are having on Monday, YAY!!! I could never wait, I drive my friends crazy by asking them the end of movies and books. Xoxo

  119. I always said that if I was pregnant I wouldn’t find out the sex, but I always had a caveat in case I was pregnant with twins (I have a twin brother) that I would find out.

    When I found myself pregnant WITH TWINS, we decided to wait. I had an emergency c-section at 37 weeks (everyone was fine) and, as I was being rolled into the operating room, the anesthesiologist said, “Are we excited to meet your boy and girl??” When she realized we didn’t know their sexes, she tried to say she was ‘just guessing’. After 37 weeks of doctors appointments and ultrasounds not one person slipped and, literally minutes before they were born someone did!!

    It was still one of the biggest surprises of my life!! (I suppose it’s one of the biggest surprises no matter when you find out!!)

  120. Oh hell no could I EVER wait to see what I was having. I would drive myself insssaanneee. I don’t like surprises at all!!

  121. I have two kids and chose to be surprised. My niece and nephew’s wife have just had babies and they also chose to be surprised. We are overjoyed because my niece had a boy and my nephew’s wife had a girl! Very cool! xxoo :)

  122. I’m due in September and I wanted to know the baby’s sex but my husband did not. In the end, I decided to wait too because I think it will be a sweet surprise. Plus, I started out wanting only a girl and I think not knowing has allowed me to imagine both scenarios. And we receive clothes that are green and yellow or neutral, and it’s much better than having all pink or all blue stuff.

  123. Sadly I am such a planner that I would want to know at least with my first, maybe I could wait till the labor with a second.

  124. I didn’t find out with the first two, and I’m not planning to find out with this one. I’m not sure if I even want to know ahead of time. But mostly, we like to avoid doing sonograms unless they are really needed. I did a one each but early on with my first 2- none so far with this one.
    When I was in labour, I really didn’t care- just was so relieved the baby was out that the midwife had to ask us if we wanted to know what the baby was- and we said- we guessed so, but didn’t really care.
    But, I don’t mind gender neutral baby stuff- to quell the complaint of an earlier poster.

  125. Vesta says...

    I totally did find out both times! it’s the same surprise, and you just think about your baby as your little son or daughter, not “the baby”.

    I also liked this way of finding out gender
    http://www.maritalbless.com/2011/02/better-than-christmas.html really cute

    BTW, Valeria (who took this picture) is my friend on LJ. I don’t know her personally, but follow her work. Small world!

  126. I don’t have kids yet, but my husband says that either both or no one will know. I think we would be too anxious and too excited to wait!!!

  127. Jana says...

    We are expecting in December and find out in a week and a half what we’re having! Because I’m not really a pink or blue person I’m excited to plan the nursery with a fairly gender neutral theme. We have been debating on doing something like that couple did in the video though…

  128. I’m not sure if I will wait or not, but I WONT be telling any family or friends the gender till the birth if I do. I’m not into the gendered color schemes and clothing and would like to have styles/colors that are gender neutral. It will be first and foremost our BABY, not a girl or boy, because it hardly matters to me either way. Also, we must be aware that there are some babies born intersex that looked one way or the other in ultrasound, but really are a combo. I would not wish to chose for them a gender that they may not identify with later on. So I will wait to even announce a psyiological gender until I know for sure. :P

  129. Glenda says...

    I have 2 kids. I didn’t know the gender of neither one. I loved the “surprise experience” of having them. The not knowing. I couldn’t imagine knowing and calling the baby by his/her name for the next 4 mos?!

  130. I have a feeling I’ll want to know for my first…to help with planning since you start from scratch. Or if I am ever pregnant with twins, I’d definitely want to find out…again for preparation. But surprises are fun too!