Relationships

Things to Do Now

Ilhan Omar, Minnesota House Rep

So, guys, it’s day two. Walking down the street, people all seem to be talking about the election, and everyone and their mom (literally all the moms) have been texting political links and articles. So, now we’re in the mood to take a deep breath, smile a little and reset.

1. Celebrate women’s victories. Hillary didn’t win, but these six women won historic firsts this week. For example, Catherine Cortez Masto became the first Latina to be elected to the Senate, and former refugee Ilhan Omar (pictured above) became the first Somali-American Muslim woman to be elected to state legislature, in Minnesota.

Meatballs

2. Start Meatball Fridays. Remember this awesome post about a married couple who felt overwhelmed and lonely while working from home and taking care of their young child? They decided to invite friends, neighbors and relatives over for meatballs every Friday. “We had no idea how much the simple act of gathering for dinner would transform our family’s life,” they said.

The Crown on Netflix

3. Watch The Crown. Alex and I have been watching the new Netflix series about Queen Elizabeth II, and it’s lavish and gripping. The 10-episode first season follows the early years of her reign (and the resulting strain on her marriage). The starring actress, Claire Foy, has such beautiful restraint — she often has to appear inscrutable, but she says so much with her giant eyes. The role also made Foy think about Elizabeth in a new way: “I’d never really registered the fact that in order for her to become queen, her dad had to die,” she told the L.A. Times. “The one person who could tell you how to do the job is dead, and everyone is looking to you to know what to do, and you’re terrified. But she just keeps calm and carries on, and that’s it, really. That’s the story of her life.”

Funny podcast

4. Listen to My Dad Wrote a Porno. The weirdest premise: A guy — Jamie Morton — discovered that his dad had written a porno, so on his podcast he reads a chapter a week with his friends. My sister texted me last night saying this comedy podcast helped her laugh on a tough day, and I know a bunch of readers love it, too.

Tracksmith Running

5. Go running. Or for a really fast walk. It has magic mind-clearing properties.

Hugs by Christopher David Ryan

6. Stand up for people. If you’d like to help, consider donating to pro-women, pro-immigrant, pro-earth, anti-bigotry organizations that need support.

Hang in there!

P.S. Yesterday I mentioned that we had commissioned ten original illustrations to celebrate Hillary’s win. Many readers requested to still see them, so we decided to feature them in our email newsletter shortly. Sign up here, if you’d like. Update: Here’s the newsletter we sent out.

(Meatballs photo from Food52. Running photo by Tracksmith. Hug illustration by Christopher David Ryan.)

  1. i love this. great post. listening to the “calming song” you posted now

  2. Maria says...

    Hello Joanna, long time reader and devoted fan here, although I have never commented. But I’m commenting for the first time to see if it might still be possible to sign up for your newsletter and receive what would have been your Hillary newsletter, had she won? It’s been a dark few days and I’m trying to will myself to emerge from the funk and get involved. I’ve always found art to be uplifting and would very much appreciate seeing the inspirational artwork you have commissioned.

    And thank you for A Cup of Jo. It’s been a great resource for me and my family. We’ve tried many a recipe and we’re now regulars at Teardrop Park, thanks to you. (Not sure I can ever get down that crazy giant slide though!)

    My best,
    Maria

    • Lexi Mainland says...

      Hi Maria! We’re done sending out big batches of the Hillary email but I’m happy to send one directly to you. Stand by! xo

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      and here’s the link to the email, if anyone else would like to see the hillary illustrations: http://cupjo.co/2fQBjCr

      thank you so much! joannaxoxo

    • Maria says...

      Thank you, Joanna and Lexi, very generous of you. I enjoyed them all – and find Ms. Dullaghan’s to be very apropos of these times. They did galvanize me and I will no longer be quiet. Calling my representatives today about a certain Mr. Bannon. xoxx

  3. Thanks so much for the list of organizations and listing all the positive things that happened last week. It was a big victory when 6 women were elected to the senate.
    Will definitely watch the crown..its been on my to watch list!

  4. Ally says...

    Thank you so much for the list of organisations! All week I’ve been feeling so helpless and asking myself ‘What can I do?!’

  5. I have been watching the crown as well and I am completely hooked! It is so good !

  6. I can’t wait to start watching The Crown and the new Gilmore Girls!!! Now I just got to find the time!!!

  7. Brittany says...

    Another first includes the first successful presidential campaign run by a woman (http://ijr.com/2016/11/733869-kellyanne-conway-took-a-beating-running-trumps-campaign-but-her-history-making-win-is-being-ignored/). I hope this wasn’t an intentional oversight – it seems like this blog lately hasn’t even attempted to welcome more moderate viewpoints, and this other “win” has been largely ignored by the media. I personally did not vote for Trump, but I find it disappointing that this “historic win” might have been ignored on the blog because it is doesn’t align with your personal views.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I actually hadn’t know about her, and I’m so impressed by her. I was so caught up in the Hillary loss and devastated by it that when I saw other female firsts I was so happy to link to them. I apologize that I didn’t write about Kellyanne and agree that hers was a big accomplishment. Thank you so much for your comment.

  8. Lovely tips ! Have heard of that podcast – must give it a listen! I’m heavily involved in The Crown too – it’s brilliant and so much better than Victoria. Thanks for sharing

  9. Mia says...

    Great post. Thank you. I would add community service. Be the change you want to see and it all starts at home: Volunteer, help an elderly neighbor, read to children at the local library, cook a meal for a friend who is going through a tough time, help a veteran, write a letter to someone far away from home, help beautify your neighborhood, call or email your local officials about things you like or are concerned about. There are many things each of us can do that over time make a real difference in our communities.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much, mia. great points.

  10. Annie says...

    Thanks these terrific suggestions. Another one? Support the fourth estate. We will need a strong, fearless media more than ever. I am going to subscribe to my local paper and multiple print and online publications this weekend. I am also going to be more proactive in supporting PBS and NPR.

  11. Lauren says...

    My best friend and I have been Cup of Jo fans for years. We live in NYC and often talk about Joanna like she’s our other best friend – “oh did you see what Joanna posted today” (don’t mean to be creepy, we just really relate to you!) On Wednesday, when we were hurting and in shock, my friend texted me to encourage me to read the blog. And it helped! Today, I finally caught up on the rest of this week’s posts, and now I can’t stop listening to my dad wrote a porno and laughing. We are still committed to doing everything we can to support those who will be harmed by this administration – but this moment to laugh and feel OK again is one thing that pulled me out of my zombie-like state and, oddly, gave me courage to move forward.

  12. Stacy says...

    In my classroom this week, we went through 4 boxes of tissues. Students came home on Wednesday afternoon to parents who hadn’t left the house the entire day for fear of being harassed or deported. One of my gay students sobbed uncontrollably yesterday as we researched more about Pence’s views on homosexuality. We researched what Trump has vowed to do to change DACA, a program stemming from Obama’s executive order that protects my undocumented students from deportation as they finish high school and begin college.
    The threats and promises from the Trump campaign have instilled raw fear in so many Americans. It’s more than being sad that we won’t have our first female president or that a man who has said and done such horrible things won.
    I believe that more points of connection, especially for those who live in highly segregated parts of our nation (and only live, work, and play with people from similar racial/ethnic backgrounds and/or socioeconomic status) need to learn more about one another in order to build empathy for others. I would love to see more stories here of individuals from these groups.

  13. Marlena says...

    After this shocking outcome, all I could think of was an old Revolutionary War song played by the British after the historic loss at Yorktown…
    If buttercups buzzed after the bees,
    If boats were on land and churches on sea,
    If ponies rode men and if grass ate the cows
    If cats should be chased into holes by a mouse
    If Mama’s sold their babies to gypsies for half a crown,
    If winter were spring and the other way round then all the world would be upside down.

    • Kaitlin says...

      I love this–what’s up is down for me after last week. Thanks for sharing.

  14. ctgreyhound says...

    What to do next? Go on with your life in a joyful manner. Things could always be worse. We still live in the best country on earth. If you don’t believe so look around and count your blessings. We need to be a grateful people and look for what is positive. Pessimism only begets more of the same. Optimism opens more doors that closing them.

    • Kelly says...

      I’m sorry, but this kind of la-dee-da thinking reeks of a privilege and naivete that many in the US are not afforded. Telling people whose hard earned rights are about to be stripped back to be grateful is hardly helpful right now. The country is in very, VERY real danger. Optimism will do nothing. Taking action is the only way.

      And no, America is not the greatest country on earth. It hasn’t been for a long time. Americans need to look at themselves in the mirror and be honest about what their country really is.

    • Sandi says...

      Kelly, I disagree. I’m an immigrant and I still feel like America is the best country in the world. I am now a citizen and voted for Trump. People in other countries have problems like zero access to basic necessities, zero freedom of speech, war. In American everyone can hate you and mock you mercilessly and if you are smart and keep your nose to the grind you can become President. That to me, is the American dream. Hate doesn’t matter here, and for that, I am forever grateful to this country.

  15. Casey says...

    Love the positivity and the highlights on female firsts!

  16. Thank you for still sharing the illustrations of a Hillary win. Though painful, I’m hopeful for the future. My favorite was “what if it’s all girls from now on”.

  17. Jaclyn says...

    In your comment about women’s victories, you failed to mention that KellyAnn Conway is the first woman to run a winning presidential campaign. Maybe Trump isn’t the sexist everyone thinks he is.

    • Susannah says...

      I was going to say this too!

  18. Rachael says...

    Add to the list of women Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, who became the first woman to run a successful presidential campaign. Why does the list you included only list democratic women? Do conservative women not count?

    • Andrea says...

      Crickets…

  19. Kate says...

    It’s too soon to try to relax and take our mind off of it; excepting 9/11 this is the most cataclysmic event of our generation – and the consequences could be grave. We need to be careful not to normalize the election of Donald Trump or to jump to quickly to the conclusion that ‘everything will be okay’. We should also consider that while it is relatively safe for wealthy white New Yorkers to distract themselves and go running and listen to podcasts it is a less advisable – let alone possible – tactic for those who aren’t wealthy white New Yorkers.

  20. Jenny says...

    I teared up a little reading about the women who won historic firsts. Feeling all the proud feels. Thanks for sharing. :)

  21. My neighborhood friends and I are having “Pajama Pancakes” with our tots tomorrow morning to down some mimosas, soak this election news in (read: freak out a little), but mainly, love our little ones, and carry on.

  22. This is meant to pool the information of fellow female/minority entrepreneurs – we should know or be able to choose who we patronize year round, and many times women are the one who control the treasury at home. Let’s put our money where it counts. We can be a powerful group is we band together – and this is just one way to do so. If we share this enough though, and get a robust list of names, we will be able to do so much more. We can support each other year round with goods and services, patron local establishments), and create entrepreneurial networking groups for women who might feel isolated working independently in red cities/counties/states. We have purchasing power that might help others stay afloat during this uncertainty! Let’s use it! How cool would be it be to see a little PSN logo on a website or as a decal on a storefront? Let’s support ourselves and our livelihoods!

    Please fill out your information here: https://goo.gl/forms/SzRIKUEXLUhUYi593

    and see the results here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1n3F9DHu8CEPqU78xmiP8vc5p3IAeN0OQ3SiR0GNKqzA/edit?usp=sharing
    * a public post on my profile has all this info and is ready-to-share. Let’s get this on Twitter too! “#PantsuitNation – Calling all female entrepreneurs to band together and create a directory: https://goo.gl/forms/SzRIKUEXLUhUYi593 … Q? Ask @ruginis”

    • Sarah says...

      Amazing idea.

  23. Nicole says...

    Thanks so much for the link to the list of charities to donate to. The only thing I could think of to do on Wednesday was to donate to Planned Parenthood and the International Rescue Committee. I am happy to have an expanded list now. Still so much at a loss, but giving to these organizations has made me feel ever so slightly better.

  24. Megan says...

    I have been obsessed with the idea of “Meatball Fridays” since reading your original post about it. I tucked it away for the future, when I was married someday (currently I’m in a serious relationship, but not living together), but the election has encouraged me to start NOW.

    I’m 27, living in Washington, DC, and so many of my friends feel lonely and disconnected from community. I’m determined to figure out some way to bring people together, even if I’m not sure exactly what the logistics will look like for me. I’m a vegetarian, so no meatballs! So far, I’m thinking of soup and bread and chocolate chip cookies every Thursday with a friend or small group. I believe firmly that the small things we do matter, and perhaps the best thing we can do now is make each other feel less alone. Thanks for being a source of light in this dark week, Cup of Jo ladies. You’re so appreciated, xo.

  25. Andrea says...

    My family and I have hosted First Sunday Spaghetti for about a year an a half now, inspired by the Meatball Fridays piece that I think I first read here. We absolutely adore the fun of getting together for a meal with anyone and everyone (and, believe me, that’s who’s shown up!). The only downside? My kids won’t eat spaghetti anymore unless there’s a crowd!

  26. shannon says...

    Thank you so much for posting the donations list. Our family has been talking about ways to offset the hatred this new president is all about, and our teenage daughters have each chosen an area of concern they would like to champion. The environment, women’s rights, immigrant rights, and anything and everything anti-racism is top of the list. The list of organizations you posted helps me feel like I can turn my deep sorrow and shock into a plan of action with my family. Thank you!!

  27. Thank you for giving us options of what to do, I so appreciate it. And I am grateful you’ve used your platform to share your real voice and unite so many women. I’ve been through the retail therapy phase (which was actually fun) and today I’m donating to the Center for Reproductive Rights. We will not mourn, we will organize (loved this Steinem article), because we’re stronger together. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/10/after-donald-trump-win-americans-organizing-us-politics

  28. SKB says...

    Thank you for sharing the Hillary artwork- one of the only things that has made me smile this week. It also made me cry (again), but I am so glad you shared it.

    Reading through all of the comments on Wednesday’s post was very eye-opening. Truly and thoughtfully considering the opinions of those I don’t understand or agree with is something I must do more honestly and more often. My perspective has shifted in many ways this week, and I am better for that.

    Thanks for creating one of the only spaces on the internet that has helped me deal with this (to me) traumatic week. Still shocked but onward and upward is the only choice!

  29. Thanks for the good post, as always, Joanna.

    I decided to try something to help in a small way to connect individuals from across the country on a more personal level.

    Want to join in and be an American Pen Pal?

  30. Paula says...

    As I scrolled through your blog to the end where you posted the Hillary illustrations, it took me through many emotions, first it made me sad, then I felt angry. However, at the end they made me smile because they still offered hope to not only the female nation that is us, but to all Americans. It will happen one day, and as Hillary said, it will be “sooner than we think”. Thank you so much for going ahead and including them in your post.

  31. Becca says...

    Thank you for your continued posting on the election. After reading today I felt inspired to turn my deep feelings of mourning and disappointment into action. With tears in my eyes I made a donation to Planned Parenthood, and I feel a little more empowered already. I’m looking forward to sharing this with my high school aged son and daughter when they get home from school and doing some research on the next place to put our time and money.

  32. Thank you for continuing to keep the state of our country in mind as you post <3 #StillWithHer

  33. Leigh Anne says...

    The country has been an unkind place recently. My husband has been traveling this week and I have an 8 month old daughter and I’m EXHAUSTED- physically, emotionally, mentally. In the Starbucks drive thru on the way to work this morning, the person in front of me paid for my order. A simple reminder that a little kindness can go a long way and we are all in this together.

  34. Sarah says...

    Joanna,

    Thank you so much for providing guidance and for engaging with something that many of us are struggling so profoundly with right now.

    Thank you, also, for sending out the illustrations in the newsletter. While they were heartbreaking, they were wonderful.

    To quote the late, great Leonard Cohen:

    “Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    That’s how the light gets in”

    <3

  35. Becka says...

    Thanks so much for this, Cup of Jo team. I appreciate the balance between encouraging action and being compassionate to yourself and allowing time for healing and distractions. I feel grief and shock right now, so suggestions like going for runs and watching good television are what I need in this moment; soon I am hopeful I will find optimism and the drive to move forward, lending my voice and my energy towards change.

  36. andrea says...

    After reading about meatball friday on your blog, I instituted supper Sundays and I have to say, Sunday has become my all time favorite day of the week! I look forward to seeing my friends every Sunday to calm down after the weekend and refresh for the week ahead. We rotate houses to keep things exciting!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is wonderful, andrea!

  37. Vava says...

    I’m past the shock and sorrow part of the grieving process and am in the anger part – and I’m coping with that by contacting my congressmen/women to begin pushing to eliminate the electoral college. Until this is done, we will continue to be vulnerable to having someone elected without the POPULAR VOTE.

    • sarah in dc says...

      make sure to reach out on the state level too. Maryland just passed law to tie their electoral college to the popular vote results. so that’s another option.

  38. Lauren E. says...

    I was walking to a friend’s house when your newsletter popped up in my inbox and I stood on the street and read it and cried. It almost felt cruel. But thank you for letting us see it. Maybe someday I will read it and it will fill me with hope instead of despair.

  39. Allison says...

    a poem I came across on instagram last week .. (follow @yung_pueblo if you don’t already) ..

    “Phrases that the brave & wise commonly use:

    I don’t know
    I’m sorry
    Thank you
    I love you”

    may we all be brave & wise in the coming days, weeks, and years. thank you for leading by example, Cup of Jo team. it matters.

  40. Michaela says...

    Respectfully, retreating to Netflix and podcasts is not going to be, in the end, helpful. Take the weekend, and after that, get to work. Decide which cause is most important to you and fight for it. More importantly, involve yourself in the political process. Figure out who your local representatives are. Contact them. Think about the 2018 midterm elections. I think most of us reading Cup of Jo (I include myself in this group) are probably very politically disengaged–writing an angry FB post does not count as being engaged. Resolve to be more involved with politics–now we all understand that there are serious consequences to not being so. I feel like I woke up from a dream on Wednesday and have to start acting like an adult, emphasis on ‘acting.’ I think we all do.

    • JuneK says...

      Michaela- bless you. (Please see my angry early morning rant below) All you say is true and I’ve learned over my many years what you may think is just the lesser of two evils is still often times a necessary moral choice. I doubt more than half of the approximately 97 million non- Hillary voters all are happy about this outcome. Hillary was the most qualified candidate and America ignored her.

    • Sarah says...

      Yes! Practice self-care, but we must choose to fight a US President elect who is a climate change denier and who incites hate for seemingly every vulnerable group possible. Trump is not benign, and we cannot just do what feels good. I live in Canada and our Conservative party leader (Labour party is currently in power) is a huge Trump fan – so chilling. The world is ready to act with you.

  41. K says...

    ohh, i’m a new neighbor of the author of that meatball friday piece – i hope i bump into her someday, she seems amazing!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, no way! you have to go! :)

  42. Thanks so much for sharing these rays of light amongst a very stressful time. I have been savoring the moments of kindness and joy I’ve witnessed over the past few day. It validates my faith in kindness and humanity.

    XOXO, Amy @ Jeans and a Tea
    http://www.jeansandatea.com

  43. Adrianna says...

    We need this positivity in our lives right now. Thank you Cup of Jo for being you cause I imagine you are a safe haven for many women right now.

    I just have to say…. maybe we should make the meatballs, vegetable protein or at least chicken because of the massive impact beef has on our environment. And we’re gonna need all the help we can get to give our children the gift of a healthy planet in the future!

  44. Alli says...

    These posts have given me much needed solace this week. Thank you. It’s comforting knowing those six inspiring women will be fighting for us. Perhaps one will be our next president.

  45. Heather says...

    My Dad Wrote a Porno is the BEST PODCAST EVER. I would recommend NOT listening to when operating heavy machinery because I nearly drove off the road a couple times laughing so hard.

    • Mary says...

      Lol! Now I really want to hear it!

  46. These are amazing ideas. I love meatball Fridays for some reason. Very hygge, indeed.

    I have so many mixed emotions right now. I am angry and upset, but also wanting to rise up, move on, and be the change I want to see in the world. {sigh}

    http://www.hyggewellness.com/blog

  47. Sarah says...

    The illustrations in your email…all I can say is that I am ugly crying at work AGAIN. So incredibly beautiful and touching, each and every one of them. I am beyond grateful that you decided to share and plan to forward to all of my girlfriends!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much, sarah xoxoxo

    • Meghan says...

      yes, i so feel you on the ugly crying at work so much this week.

  48. Katrina says...

    I feel it strange that a site dedicated to womens empowerment and freedom can glibly suggest checking out something from a porno – (even as a laugh) , when it is an ultimate example of men brainwashing woman into thinking it’s ok when it is the exact opposite. This doesn’t sit well with me at all.

    • Emma says...

      This is isn’t dedicated to women’s empowerment. It’s a lifestyle blog and that is one component of the posts. The podcast is a comedy podcast and is not glorifying porn, it’s mocking it. Also, women like porn too!

  49. I’m listening to Leonard Cohen and cooking. It’s been a sad week, but life goes on. The good things in my life remain. We must all take care of ourselves and each other. I hugged a lot of people this week. It felt good.

  50. Lynda says...

    Taiwan had their presidential election this year and a femal won. Its amazing to see that an Asian country being more progressive than US as a collective.

    • jen says...

      Truthfully? It’s not that amazing to me.

  51. Ellen says...

    It seems people are missing an open mind and respect for where the other side is coming from. It does not benefit anyone to surround yourself with only like-minded individuals, but what does everyone do when they don’t agree with something someone is saying? They unfriend them or unfollow them. Many of my friends have different beliefs than I do. I appreciate that it makes me well rounded. This is not right vs wrong. It’s the whole country wanting what’s best for our nation, but having different views of how we get there. And like most swinging pendulum situations, the answer is probably somewhere in the middle.

    • Meghan says...

      i think most people agree with that. i know deep down i agree with that, but right now i’m sad and just not ready yet. a lot of people aren’t ready yet. it’s okay to be sad again today and maybe tomorrow, too.

  52. JUNEK says...

    Here’s the thing , girls, popular vote was for Clinton, but her turnout was low. The latests reports show that trump’s popular vote was lower than Romney in 2012. In 2012 Obama got 5 million more popular votes than Hillary did this year. In 2016, “other” candidates popular votes were 6.7 million. Another 90 million eligible voters did not turnout this year. Yeah 90 million!!!!!
    Every eligible voter who went with third party candidate or just did not bother to cast a vote is responsible for her loss. Anyone who may have voted for her but was not inspired enough to keep Trump out of the WH is also in part responsible. Did you volunteer on her campaign? Did try to talk some sense into your friends, family and coworkers who may have been leaning trump or 3rd party or were uninterested to go to the polls and cast a vote for Hillary?
    I am a 61 year old women who alway voted in all the elections local and national . I remember seeing this narcissistic buffoon on TV and hearing him on radio before many of you were born . I knew he was a conman in the 80’s. I gambled in AC casinos but always avoided his … just because I didn’t want my money going to trump. I’d rather lose it elsewhere thank you. When I saw trump winning GOP nomination, I knew it was time to step up my game. I did all I could do to help Hillary with contributions and volunteering on the campaign. I am heartbroken, too. Sorry for the lecture but you all need to do better for your future. Step up when a choice is so very clear. Vote in every election not just presidential and try to find the time and money to support the candidates who best represent you. Encourage others to do the same.

    • Kate says...

      Great post.

  53. I know many of us Minnesotans who are so proud of our state and community after this hard election! And I must say, I got your email with the illustrations last night and struggled holding back tears. I thought my grieving process was coming to a close as I move forward to work for the change I want to see, but I still feel grief. Thank you for your blog!

    Xoxo http://www.touchofcurl.com

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      you should be proud! xoxoxo

  54. sabrina says...

    I’m so proud to be a Minnesotan! I love the Somali community so much and I love to see them thrive!

  55. I finished watching The Crown in a two day couch binge session. I can’t wait for season 2 to come out!

  56. I am not liberal. I lean a bit right of center. That being said, I wasn’t behind either of them but I do not feel the devastation that you and most of your readers do. However, I will not disregard your reality because that is how you feel and I have sworn myself to not allow me or my family to be involved in anything that would further divide this country.

    I so applaud the grace with which you have handled this event, especially from your view point of being so very pro-Clinton. You have never once stooped to a level of rude or nasty towards the other side. It is voices like yours that will help unite the people of our country.

    Years of counseling have taught me one thing: never underestimate someone else’s reality. A person may tell you the sky is orange, when in fact, they have only ever seen a sunset. It is tough to step in each other’s shoes at this point but, I believe that you are opening your self and your blog up to be a bridge we so badly need at this time.

    Thank you.

    • Ellen says...

      Well said, Erin.

    • Allison says...

      This is such a lovely sentiment and I hope many Americans share this optimistic and inclusive viewpoint and work together for a better country regardless of whom they voted for. Democratic responsibility does not end at the ballot box. Hold your representatives to a high standard and let them know what matters to their constituents.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      “Never underestimate someone else’s reality. A person may tell you the sky is orange, when in fact, they have only ever seen a sunset.”

      beautifully said, erin. thank you so much.

    • Kate says...

      This is really kindly said, Erin. My own fear is that the blue and red states will continue to have more of a divide, instead of working to hear each other’s grievances and hopes. Half of our country lives very differently than the other half, and while I don’t personally believe that what has happened is going to solve it, we can go a step closer by actually rising above, listening to one another, and not devolving into good vs evil tropes. Everyone is in this together, for better or worse, and continuing the rift that is unfortunately there isn’t going to heal anyone. Be compassionate, be open minded, and be the change you wish to see.

    • T.V. says...

      Erin, Thank you. This is so true and a good reminder to us ALL. I respect the sadness and loss and frustration, However, I cannot believe the hate in some of these responses. Isn’t that exactly what we are all trying to eliminate from the world?
      There have been so many great ideas from readers on how we should be the change – let’s start now in making America great again – together!
      P.s Joanna – thank you for encouraging positivity and togetherness as you always do. You are a true example of a woman leader! My children – 2 sons and 1 daughter – love to cook and try the recipes you post! And we have some definite favorites. So far, we are happy and full with your recommendations. Keep ’em coming pls!

  57. trisha says...

    Got the illustrations by e-mail, thank you Joanna.

  58. Sharon says...

    As someone who was not a Hillary supporter, I have to applaud you for always being thoughtful and sincere in your posts. I recognize and can empathize how hard these first days must be, especially as you have been a supporter from the beginning. Great writing and a great message as always Jo. And I wholeheartedly agree with your message for acceptance, tolerance, inclusion and love.

  59. Sharon says...

    Please listen to “my dad wrote a porno”, it was recommended to me and I didn’t think I’d like it, but it is howling funny, you will shout at your laptop, be baffled, atonished and have aching muscles from laughing so much. I can’t think of a better time for the need to laugh out loud.
    X

  60. shopgirl says...

    Sorry, I’m not in that mood yet. I’m still getting more and more sad. And now the goodbye from Leonard Cohen makes it even worse … Rest in peace, my dear poet.
    ““How can I begin anything new with all of yesterday in me?”

  61. Laura C. says...

    Wow Joanna. I’ve always thought that you are so brave, because not everyone would show their politics ideals the way you do.
    As for me, I’m not American, and I’ll say what my lovely friend from Oregon told me last week, when I asked her laughing “you won’t vote for him, right?”
    She answered laughing too: “I’m a redneck, but not THAT redneck!”
    I didn’t know the meaning of that word “redneck”, it’s difficult to translate- but now I can totally see it.

    I LOVE Leah Goren’s picture. I feel so sad about Hillary. Maybe she was wrong in the past, I don’t know, but I strongly believe that she was full of good intentions and good vibrations and she would have been a great President. She knew her job. I am afraid of Trump. I think he will manage America as one of his business.
    Thank you Joanna for sharing. Thank you readers for sharing.
    Xoxo

  62. Fine attitude to take. No matter how you feel this week, you still have to get on with simple living. Anger and grief – and joy – have their place but are not the stuff of everyday life. Women know this. Me? Off to re-start a running program that I allowed to lapse. Deep breaths, everyone.

  63. Love love love all of this! All I can say if people were more like you we would be a happier nation.

    I think I’ll try each one! I wrote my post Election thoughts and now this invigorates me to follow up with even more positivity.

    Xo Lendy
    http://www.twoplusluna.com

  64. Jojo says...

    Please read Michael Moore’s list of things to do. We need to stand up. They would have tried to impeach Hilary as soon as she hit office. We need to not take this lying down. Organize and act!!!

    • Allison says...

      Here is the link http://www.good.is/articles/moore-five-point-plan

      It seems much more proactive and while TV is fun, I think actions that will make a difference are a better approach to feeling better.

  65. Thank you for this post. This is what we all needed. A reminder that so many other goods things were accomplished through this election and that there indeed is a world outside election talks that is so comforting, funny and delicious :)

  66. Katie says...

    Love this Joanna. Yesterday I made small donations to Planned Parenthood, NPR, the Nature Conservancy, IRC, and a camp that supports transgender youth. It wasn’t much, but it made me feel better. I have committed to making donations on the 9th day of every month for the next four years to organizations who support people and causes the will be ignored or attacked in the new administration. These are my Day After Donations.

    And now, I am ready to begin the process of understanding how this happened–and it actually started from a comment from one of your readers about why she voted for Trump. It made me realize that I have only been listening to what I wanted to hear, and that I don’t really know about the struggles of some in this country. I have no interest in hearing personal attacks against HRC, but I am interested in stories from people’s own lives that made Trump appealing.

    • Your Day After Donations are a really beautiful idea!

    • CindyA says...

      A lot of friends are suggesting that liberals do this – to understand the other side.

      The thing is – Trump has so degraded public discourse in this country – he has made hate permissible!- that no economic rationale driving a vote for him makes any sense to me. Their vote still supported a bigot, and, worse!, elevated him to leadership status.

      I essentially have no interest in learning the needs and wants of the other side when it has come wrapped in hate.

    • Jules D says...

      I wish I could be able to try to understand the people who voted the way they did but I just can’t. Here is a passage from today’s Lenny Letter that really resonated with me:
      “A lot of people have been talking about how we need to try to understand how this happened and what’s going on in the minds of the people who voted for Donald Trump. Maybe. Maybe. But maybe let’s leave that to the strategists, to the men in offices who need to run the numbers. It should not be the job of women, of people of color, of queer and trans Americans, to understand who does not consider them human and why, just as it’s not the job of the abused to understand their abuser. It’s quite enough work to know about and bear the hatred of so many. It’s quite enough work to go on living.”

    • Lara says...

      Hi Cindya,
      May I respectfully say that if you feel that way, the other side will never have a chance to understand where you are coming from? If you shut them out across the board, they will not listen to your message. They’re not listening because they already know you think them bigoted. Before they even open their mouth. No one is a stock character, no matter how much we might disagree with them. There is much more behind a person than what box they checked on a ballot.

      I understand that I don’t know your story either, and I hope you don’t see this as rude or aggressive. I hope for so much more for our country, but we’ve all got to see past labels to make that happen. Much love.

  67. Kim says...

    I am grateful for your optimistic and uplifting posts, but I am not yet ready for them. I feel as though I am in mourning and your newsletter today sunk me deeper into my sadness. Just like any loss, I think I need to experience it deeply, reflect upon it and let it run its course. I am sad for our country and I am sad for my daughter who, at nine, will come of age with a bigot as our leader. I have gone from absolute pride in the progressive years of Obama to deep disappointment and fear in the anticipation of the backslide we will experience in the coming years. I will return to your posts of the last two days when this feeling of dread has become more bearable and I know they will make me feel better. Thank you for that.

    • m says...

      Although grateful for this post, I agree, I’m just not ready for this yet. It’s hard when his Presidency affects your life directly. It’s terrifying and hard to just “move on”. I feel so lost.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      sending you a big hug. xo

  68. Emily says...

    Hey Jo (and team!) – I’ve been a reader of COJ since my freshman year roommate first told me about it in 2008. I’ve loved and followed your blog through through ups, downs, and now three (!) presidential election cycles.

    I know you usually don’t get political on COJ but I so, so, so appreciate your posts the last few days. I am a graduate student in public health, come from a liberal family, and live in NYC. Needless to say, everybody I know, love, and am surrounded by is heartbroken and overwhelmed. Your posts have been a small twinkle of light in this dark cloud of sadness.

    XO,
    Emily

  69. Sarah Blumenfeld says...

    Oh no. I thought I could look at the Post-Hillary post. I shouldn’t have. It is so painful. I’m glad I looked at it today while the shock and disappointment are still so fresh and not in a week when I will hopefully be able to function. I feel grief in waves. I’m so sad for so many reasons and so many people.

  70. Becca says...

    I needed this today in RED RED RED Utah! Ugh! Thank you–you’re like the friend that knows just what to say.

    • Allison Dyer says...

      So much for love, acceptance and inclusion. I guess that only extends as far as somebody agrees with your thoughts and ideals? That’s been the saddest thing of this entire election, to see just how far-reaching the hypocrisy really stretches.

    • Samantha says...

      I’m a fellow Utahn who is struggling with being in such a red state these past few days. I thought for sure Evan McMullin would win the popular vote here, which would have been far less disappointing than the result.

    • Rose says...

      I grew up in Utah and have long since moved away, but was sad to see my hometown go so red. I thought for sure Trump’s statements against mormons might open their eyes to some of his views on other minorities, and I am saddened to say I’ve had discussions with many of my role models growing up (old teachers, old coaches), all of whom voted for Trump on the premise that the “media” portrayed him as racist but he isn’t. I’m sad they all voted against women.

  71. Vicki says...

    Hear hear! If we want a loving society, we can all begin with ourselves. I’ll tell you what: I have seen more crazy road-ragey driving in the last two days than I have since I lived in LA. Granted, we are all feeling stress, but it’s the small acts of kindness and generosity that will make our communities safe for everyone.

  72. Neha says...

    Dear Jo and the team of Cup of Jo,

    I am non-white woman living in Canberra, Australia and I feel like I am living in an ever shrinking oasis, as Pauline Hanson, Donald Trump and Brexit seem to drown the world in some weird mixture of denial/ entitlement selfishness. But even beyond that there is Oscar-so-white, and numerous other examples. As feminists, you recognise how important it is to SEE women in positions where they are making a difference. The white culture is so pervasive (even in non-white countries that have had the European Colonial past, and American marketing via Hollywood and advertising – all warped and sexist and photoshopped and straight.) that somehow we are losing our humanity. Personally, I have to keep reminding myself that all of us have a genius, but if we value a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its entire life convinced it is an idiot. But as a platform of power, can I please request you to keep Mary Kowal’s words: It’s not about adding diversity for the sake of diversity, it’s about subtracting homogeneity for the sake of realism.

    Loved the picture on the top of the blog.

    PS: I hope it comes across that I am not blaming anyone, just insisting that with power comes responsibility.

    With love!

    • I agree! We need ever color of the spectrum represented. It makes everything so much more beautiful.

      -Lendy

    • Rose says...

      Please remember that Hilary won the popular vote. It’s a small majority, but the majority of people did not vote for hate. The future is female, the future is acceptance and now more than ever we have to mobilize for that.

  73. Courtney says...

    It brightens my day to see Ilhan Omar’s photo here! She’s my ray of sunshine the past couple of days. As a Minnesotan, I am proud of what’s going on in our communities and excited to see how things progress.

  74. erika says...

    Thank you for this. I’ve been feeling antsy, like I need to DO something. PROTEST something. Donating makes me at least feel like I’m doing something and not sitting idle, waiting.

  75. Erin says...

    Your post saved me yesterday. I read it aloud to my husband and several other people. Somehow the pieces are slowly coming back together. Thank you for your posts, they are everything.

  76. Steph says...

    I love this blog. I have loved it for 7 years. And I’ve loved it more and more as I’ve heard your voice mature and grow and learn and observe in real time and in the real world. Thank you for making a space to acknowledge the way the sand has shifted under our feet. None of this should be normalized. It’s on all of us to do the necessary self-care and worn through the grief and then dust ourselves off and fight against sexist regression and bigotry. It matters so much to feel connected and inspired here in this troubling time.

  77. Abby says...

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for these thoughtful posts the past two days.

  78. Also Stephanie Murphy is the first ever vietnamese american woman elected to congress.

  79. Hannah says...

    Love that you posted this. Big hugs, we’ll get through this!

  80. Ana SofiaRuiz says...

    I just saw the newsletter and loved it! Thanks for sharing it anyway, despite the outcome. I’m from Costa Rica and support journalist in Latin America as part of my work. I’ve been also feeling sad and worried here for what went on yesterday. I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m sending you lots of love, since it’s what we all need right now.

  81. Meg says...

    I could not love you more, Joanna. You are a literal beacon of light for so many.

  82. Jessica says...

    So grateful that you talk about these things. So many blogs avoid politics, because they just want to be see as fun and happy. But this stuff MATTERS, and I appreciate you knowing that.

    I’d like to recommend that everyone donate (or at least sign petitions) to ACLU. They’re already working hard to make sure that Trump can’t fulfill many of his hateful promises.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      yes great idea. thank you, jessica.

  83. Kathryn Casey Quigley says...

    Thanks for these ideas and the comfort. So crushed, so very sad. It is a difficult time. Tonight, my mom, who is 69, said “I guess I’ll never see a woman president in my life.” It was like I was kicked in the gut. I want her to be wrong so badly. What do you think of doing some occasional posts that somehow encourage political engagement among women? It could be a great way to inspire your readers to engage and be involved, and to cheer on women who are in the sometimes lonely sphere of politics.
    Another- albeit kind of crazy- idea…I live on the beautiful North Fork of Long Island. It’s Trump Land. For those whom it’s feasible- liberal New Yorkers could consider primary or even second homes out here, and really make an impact. It’s a wonderful place to live…except for the politics. And of course, there are plenty of other metro areas that are the same!

  84. Meghann says...

    The first thing I did on Wednesday morning was donate to Planned Parenthood in honor of Hillary Clinton. Then I checked Cup of Jo. I’ve been a reader for a long time and this is my first comment: Joanna, you and your blog have been an island in some very choppy seas these last couple days. Thank you for this.

    • jen says...

      Great idea on the donation. I went over and donated in honor of HRC also.

  85. Anna says...

    This post and the one you did after the election were some of the best ever.

    We don’t live in the US but were so shocked by the results and it made us all feel such a mix of emotions including incredibly sad and worried about how this will impact us all in the world. Thank you especially for your mention of the effect all of this has on children, because it really does – It was such a good reminder that the impacts and stress go beyond us and we need to remember to reach out to our kids and help them feel safe in what is now an increasingly uncertain world.

    Your post after that day was possibly the most comforting thing I read afterwards and I was literally sitting in an office reading it on my mobile and having to blink back the tears.

    I know that you got some criticism from your open support of Hillary, but it was so refreshing to see someone openly stand for something they believe in, especially when your likeability ties so closely to your livelihood.

    This blog is one of my favourite places on the internet. Thank you for making it what it is!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much, anna. that mean so much to our team.

  86. Jen Vercelli says...

    Hi Jo and team! I grabbed that last graphic and made my fb profile pic..is that allowed? If not let me know and I will take it down. I just loved it. Also shared the post for coming together. Lovely words and just how I’m feeling (but also taking action).

  87. PJ Decker says...

    Your blog is one of my favorite places in the internet. The illustrations were perfect and so was this post. Thank you.

  88. Colleen says...

    I’m so happy you showed us the illustrations. We were so close and we’ll make it soon. Of course Mari Andrews’ was my favorite, both concept and execution.

  89. Emme says...

    Agree with what Sally,Kim and M say. For so many of us who are members of marginalized populations (minority, LGBT, Muslim, immigrant), this pit of fear has lodged in our stomachs and won’t go away for so long. Yes, we can and must move forward – but having a comforting place online that gently acknowledges the turmoil people feel, without passing judgment, is a sanity saver. Thank you.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      sending so much love. xoxo

  90. Yes! All of these things! Saddle up to love and protect our neighbors!

  91. Kate says...

    Thank you, Joanna and team for the love and realness you offered this week. Your blog is my favorite corner of the internet and knowing this is a place where we can discuss everything, small and world-shattering, makes me feel understood and comforted in a week where we all needed those things more than ever. Bravo for not shying away. Aside from the news, this is the only publication I’ve read since Tuesday night, because how can we talk about beauty or cool things to buy before we address what everyone is actually thinking about? Sending love back to you.

  92. AR says...

    Im a brown female person living in a foreign land (beautiful Oz), I was so distraught yesterday. I couldn’t understand how I felt. I couldn’t sit down to work. I walked around for 2 hours with a heavy heart. When I tried to explain to my husband the sadness, I told him I felt like someone rained on my optimistic view of the world. He understood completely. It’s ok, America. 2 steps forward, 1 step back, and then forward again.

  93. Lauren says...

    Thanks for this. The little, lovely things to remind us of love and compassion have been so critical the past 48 hours. Thanks for suggesting that we support important causes in this tough time. I just want to point out though that the Jezebel article you link to you only suggests environmental organizations that are either fully funded by a hedge fund billionaire (Tom Steyer funds NextGen) or are giant enviro organizations with budgets of over $10 million/year. I work in this space and know that donations would be a much bigger help and go much farther to smaller organizations. A few suggestions: The Sustainable Economies Law Center – http://www.theselc.org/, Western Organization of Resource Councils – http://www.worc.org/, Land Stewardship Project – http://landstewardshipproject.org/, Public Lab – https://publiclab.org

    • Jeannie says...

      You’re awesome!! Thanks for sharing this!

  94. Kaitie Tee says...

    The illustrations in the newsletter made me cry. They evoked all the emotion of what I hoped for on election day and gutted me. But even though things didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I’m still so proud of the work I see women doing right now. Women in media are killing right now!!! Women bloggers are facilitating a nationwide conversation that is unparalleled. I see women comediennes speaking my truths. Women continue to increase their numbers in Congress and state politics. I see us supporting one another openly and vocally in ways that not long ago would have made me feel vulnerable. So, despite the electoral outcome, I see women moving upward and onward every day. I’m going to hold on to the hope in that.

    • naseem says...

      This is great! Thanks for sharing. As a mixed-race woman (Persian and African American), with brown skin, an immigrant father, a muslim name, and well… female sexual organs, the results of this election SCARE me. For my sake, for the sake of my brother who is a black man, for my dad and our family in Iran, for my mother, who is African American. There’s no hiding, but there is power in that little safety pin. I plan to share this with others and keep a look out for others wearing pins.

    • Nissa says...

      I wrote an email to Joanna to tell her about this too! I will be sporting my pin proudly and I hope to see a few others out and about!

  95. Thank you, Joanna. My family group text has me so stressed right now. I’m just trying to breathe and be hopeful. This helps! xx

  96. Jo says...

    I’ve been watching the crown all week- started it on our first night of sleep training Monday night- this week has been ROUGH!

  97. Your newsletter made day, if not week. Thank you so much.

  98. Kristine says...

    Kellyanne Conway (Trump’s campaign manager) became the first victorious female presidential campaign manager.

    • Amy says...

      Thank you for mentioning this. It’s important to support ALL women. Not just women who share your same viewpoint. Some of us are relieved Hillary did not win. It’s pretty clear those of us who did not vote for her, are no longer welcome in this space.

    • caligirl says...

      To Amy,
      I don’t think that you have become unwelcome here. In fact, you may truly be able to help the rest of us understand this election if in fact you are happy about our president elect. I know from the data that there were many women who did vote for him but much of the pain that I feel right now is due to the fact that I just can’t understand why anyone would support someone who doesn’t respect women and, even worse, was elected on a platform designed to take away rights that have been so terribly difficult to obtain in the first place.

    • Anitra Sweet says...

      Yes! I was scrolling through to see if she was mentioned!

    • Keeley says...

      I’m glad you mentioned this too. I may not agree with her candidate but it seems like she knows her stuff. Amy, I hope you stick around – I think Jo was being pretty careful not to offend but I think she could do even better. This blog could be so, so much more than fashion and home decor.

      I am very disappointed that Hillary didn’t win but I am trying very hard to understand the other side right now, especially when it comes to women. The nice thing about this post is that you could do pretty much all the things above no matter who you voted for. I am sure there are people on both sides who are upset and hurting right now because of how contentious this election became.

      I am really interested to hear more from the women who voted for him and their reasons beyond just not liking Hillary. I think it would be amazing if all the women who voted for Trump but disagree with many of the things he’s said would let him know that’s not why they elected him. Now that he’s going to be your president (and mine) we should all band together to hold him accountable for respecting and supporting the women who voted for him.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much for your notes. and i want to emphasize that everyone, with any political beliefs, are warmly welcome in this space. my post on wednesday (http://cupofjo.com/2016/11/election-trump-hillary-2016/) was all about coming together and understanding each other and working together — hope that came across. i’m really glad to know about kellyanne conway and that is very impressive!

      xoxoxo

  99. Alexis Adele says...

    Thank you for sharing the illustrations depicting Hillary . They are beautiful, and the message shines as a beacon of hope and light after a tough few days.

  100. Nancy Young says...

    Speaking of getting to work. Learn about work at the state level to change the electoral college to reflect the popular vote. We’ve got four years – lets make 2016 the last election where the candidate with the most votes doesn’t win! See http://www.nationalpopularvote.com/

  101. melissa w says...

    I have appreciated your words over the past 2 days. My initial reaction to the election was to crawl into a cave but visiting your site has provided some inspiration for how to move past the loss and anger. Thank you.

  102. Thank you for the newsletter. I sobbed as I looked at each beautiful image thinking about the beauty we could have had. But, as you have said, as others have said recently, and as our foremothers before us have said, it’s time to get to work. It’s time to love. It’s time to thank our heroes and to extend a hand to the people we don’t understand. Thank you Joanna.

  103. Jean says...

    I appreciate your positivity. Hillary was not my candidate (nor was Trump), but the true loss to our country has been our civility to each other. Thank you for not resorting to name-calling, etc. Well done and keep it up!

  104. Abbey says...

    All the historic firsts for women this election are exciting! One correction though: Ilhan Omar was elected to Minnesota’s state legislature, not to Congress.

  105. Kayla says...

    Loved reading this & finding out that you will be releasing the commissions. It felt so good to put your voice out there in a comment & then to see it be heard! It was much needed reminder that your voice can still be heard, especially when you rally together. Thanks for the big love. Thanks for continuing these conversations in important ways.

  106. Erin W says...

    Glad you posted about Ilhan Omar! She is representing the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood which is the neighborhood that my grad school is in. It’s got the largest Somali population in the U.S. and I’m so happy that someone who is actually representative of the community has been elected! I’ve been sending the news to everyone who is feeling down.

  107. Renee says...

    So very glad to hear we’ll get to see those illustrations! :)

  108. Deb says...

    I discovered My Dad Wrote a Porno a couple of weeks ago and have been more or less crying with laughter ever since. The perfect tonic for trying times. Belinda blinked. Yay! Drink!

    • Emma says...

      Oh my gosh. SO funny. Just started listening at work and was laughing so hard I was crying, so I had to stop before people started asking questions. Definitely balm for the soul this week!

  109. Sally says...

    I just wanted to say thank you for not just posting about patterns today. It’s important to continue to acknowledge what we have lost, and what remains ahead. Your voice is important and I appreciate it.

    • Kim says...

      I agree with this comment! When I saw the post on patterns, I was so disappointed. I understand that life must go on, but it’s hard to think about trivial things when the election of our lives just exploded all over the place. I love that you are continuing the dialogue and keeping strong women front and center. Thank you!

    • M says...

      Here here! I always know I can look to your blog for honesty and a sanity check.

    • Chrissy says...

      Agreed. All of the momentum, energy and positivity that women felt in this election process must continue. Let’s not just move on to the next shiny object or normalize it. Thank you Joanna for being a strong voice.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much for these comments. we always strive to strike a balance between being a place of levity and escape from everyday stress (and thus we write about movies and books and design and fashion and food and travel and books, etc.) — but also a place for serious conversation and honest discussion. we will continue doing both and are so grateful you’re here. xoxoxo