Motherhood

Conversations With a Seven-Year-Old

Anton Goddard-Williams

At 10 years old, Toby talks seriously about basketball and movies and all things preteen, but seven-year-old Anton is still in that in-between stage where he seems very adult but is a baby at heart. Here are some funny things he has busted out with recently…

Anton

Anton is obsessed with his dad, so he’s gotten interested in cologne. He isn’t sure how to use it, so every evening, after brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas, he’ll quietly douse himself in super musky cologne. Reading bedtime stories now smells strongly of sandalwood.

Anton borrowed Alex’s phone and began nonchalantly texting me from the other room. “Hey, man,” pinged my phone. “Are you free for a call? Ring me when you get a sec.”

We often play Australia’s Deadly Animals Bingo, and we’ve recently started betting on it. We’ll usually bet a dollar, which makes it feel fun and suspenseful. The other night, Anton tried to up the ante:
Anton: “Want to bet on Bingo?”
Me: “Sure.”
Anton: “How about $50?”
Me: “…”
Anton: “Can you spot me? Because I don’t have any money.”

I overheard him telling a friend at the playground, “The only rule at my house is: there are no rules.”

At bedtime, Anton gets super sweet. The other night, he whispered, “I love you so, so much. I’ll remember you FOREVER.”

Anton

And most of all: Even though he acts like a teenager, when you catch him from the side, you’ll see THAT PIECE OF HAIR!!!!! That little piece of hair sticking out the back is literally the cutest thing ever and my heart hurts whenever I see it. I hope it never untangles.

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? I’d love to hear…

P.S. More conversations with Toby and Anton, and a seven-year-old’s guide to travel.

  1. This is so funny! My 9 year old boy also uses cologne before bedtime..and always more than it’s needed, haha! Also- I love him with uncut, long, covid hair and I don’t want him to grow up ever!

  2. Anna says...

    I was teaching my just-turned-8 year old daughter how to play MASH. We were making up options for my imaginary future and she was HARSH in the most hilarious ways.
    My future hobby: “holding up Trump signs” LOLOLOLOL (she knows we are not Trump supporters, and was totally trolling me)
    My future pet: “A poisonous snake that doesn’t like people”
    My future spouse: “An old man with so many germs”

    Oh my goodness, it was so hilarious!!! But then I catch sight of her little round cheek from the side and it pinches up my heart in the way only growing children can.

  3. Elle says...

    Spot on on 7 year olds! Mine said the other day (he wanted to be left alone at the playground for a few hours!!): “Mom, i’m basically a Teenager. I even had my Pimple already!” haha

  4. Asha says...

    My boys are the same ages as yours and I feel the same way. My 7 yr old tries so hard to keep up with his 10 yr old brother and be “like a grown up” that I think it’s happening to fast. Then he does something silly and his dimples come out. Melts me every time. Lately he’s wanted to spend more time one on one with me. So we started playing catch. It’s been so fun to chat and catch and be together in the moment.

  5. Anne says...

    My daughter was explaining to my little grandson how people and dinosaurs did not live on the earth at the same time. He says . . . . What about Grammy?
    Ouch!!

  6. anna says...

    Joanna, if it’s any consolation my boyfriend is a grown man and he still has a sprig of hair like that if it gets too long :) so you may get lucky with Anton!

  7. Ashley says...

    My 10-year-old sister recently asked me, “Why do you always have to explain everything?” I told her that since I’m a teacher it’s my natural instinct!
    She still lets me tuck her into bed every time I visit though ♥️

  8. Amy says...

    My five year old has been around when I’ve watched the news this past year so she has picked up on my opinion of Donald Trump. The other night we were playing Wise Owl (a more female-friendly name for Old Maid) when her dad won and then my very disappointed daughter threw a bit of a tantrum over losing. She ran back into the room and we asked her what was wrong and she furrowed her brow, crossed her arms and huffed “I’m being like Donald Trump!” Aka a sore loser.

  9. Heather says...

    Ohhh, that rumpled hair got me too! My kids are currently rocking grown-out pandemic haircuts (i.e. their Dad did it), and my 5yo now has a mullet straight out of the early eighties that kinda melts my heart every time I look at him!

  10. Caitlin Scott says...

    Mom. I just need to get a liiittle bit taller, and then I can marry you.

    Aww, I’d love that! But what about Dad?

    …he can…go to the dump. Or take a nap.

  11. Lucy says...

    I love stories about Angon, he is so cool and cute! My husband has this hair thing too. We have a photo of him as a fat smiling baby with exactly same piece of hair sticking from his head as it still does every morning after 50 years.

  12. Rebecca says...

    Thanks, Joanna, for these sweet posts. They are some of my favorites. The other day while wiping herself, my two year old declared, “My vagina is not a sammich.” No idea where that came from but I was cracking up.

    My other recent favorite is “I love you too much.” Conflating I love you too and I love you so much. Sometimes if I ask her how much she loves me or daddy, she’ll respond “two!”

  13. Anne says...

    Picking my daughter up from school, one of her teachers left with us the other day. As we walked down the block she suggested my five year old tell me about the apple store. My daughter shook her head. So the teacher explained that she had broken her phone and was feeling sad about it when my daughter came up and said, “Megan! Did you know there is this store called the apple store? But they don’t sell apples; all they sell is phones.”

  14. Anne says...

    My three and a half year old when I told her all we have is regular tap water: I won’t drink that! It’s old fashioned.”

    Time to wean off the soda stream, I suppose.

  15. Kari T. says...

    Today I was wanting to take a picture of my 6yr old dressed up in a fancy red dress complete with red wings and superhero mask, she says to me “No pictures. No autographs.” haha well ok then!

  16. Laura says...

    My son likes to say he never did something. Scarfed down a bowl of oatmeal, but I put oatmeal in front of him the next day and hear, “No! I neber eat oatmeal!” He does this all the time!

  17. Wendy Plump says...

    My sons are both in their early 20s, so we’re well past that stage. But they still things that can just move the earth for me, like: “Mom, I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

    • Katie says...

      Oh my goodness, Wendy. This comment brought tears to my eyes. <3 What a world, that we're lucky enough to experience these moments and emotions.

  18. Maggie says...

    Cutie! That is a cowlick – if he’s anything like me, he will spend a lot of time as a teenager trying to smooth/tame it and then sometime in his 20’s he’ll admit defeat :)

  19. Twyla says...

    My husband and I don’t have any kids, but my husband is very young-at-heart and is constantly having water fights/snowball fights with the kids in our condo complex. They actually ring the doorbell and ask if he can come outside and play (he’s 45). We found out how unaware they are of his actual age when one of the boys said to him “I’m telling your MOM!”, which they did. To me.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, this is so cute.

    • Christina says...

      That is absolutely hilarious!

    • Jo says...

      Thanks for sharing Twyla, this absolutely cracked me up!

    • Hayat says...

      This is fantastic!

    • Alexis says...

      This is so sweet and sounds just like my partner! The kids don’t ring the doorbell to play with him but he makes friends with them wherever we go – splash pad, dog run, playground. They want him to push them on the swings, have water fights, etc etc.

  20. Jess West says...

    We were talking over dinner about what time of day we were born. My 14 yr old was born at 3.33am… so my 7yr old asked “when was I born”, I said “at about 7/ 7.30pm …”.. she did the bedtime maths and replied “ so did I have to go straight to bed?” 🤣

  21. Lisa says...

    It’s going to be Mother’s Day in the U.K. on Sunday, so I’ve been prepping my kids to make sure I actually get a present this year. My 5 year old says “I’m going to get you an apron, flowers and a beautiful flower dress”. That’s his go to present for the women in his life.

    • Lucy says...

      Not bad :))

  22. Jenny B says...

    At bedtime, my 6 year-old will hold on to me really tightly as I’m trying to extricate myself from his bedroom, and will say, “I’ve got you in the Mommy trap!”
    Another great one from a couple years ago – “I can’t eat that (leftover dinner from the day before)! It has a bit too much yesterday in it!”

  23. VJ says...

    I started a journal last year to write down the things my now almost-five year old says after I realized I might not always remember something he said to me when he was 2.5 and I was pregnant with his sister:

    “What are these for?” (Points to one of my breasts)
    “Well, Mommy will help feed the baby with these, just like I fed you.”
    Contemplation and then, pointing to the other breast:
    “That the frigerator?”

    My now 20 month old daughter’s first entry: “butt cheese,” which is what she yells, LOUDLY, when she wants her “pacis.”

  24. Emily says...

    When his food has too much of a kick, my three year old says, “I don’t like it. It makes me spicy!” We’re never going to correct this one.

  25. Nicole says...

    I am always kicking myself for not writing down more when they were younger, they were so funny then. They’re now 11 & nearly 13 and what I love about this age are their conversations ranging from deep to absurd in a matter of minutes. Maybe I should record them for posterity. And we watch comedians together! Certain punch lines have become running gags in our household which I love. My son recently asked me if I ever had any regrets about having kids. But I can honestly say I never have because having these wonderful humans made life so much better !

  26. Tara D. says...

    My son will be 5 next week. The other night I was heading to a friend’s for some girl time (she’s in our quarantine bubble) and my little guy was REALLY sad that I was going out. We told him I had to “run some errands” to which he replied, with big fat tears rolling down his face, “why don’t you just take the car?!?!?!?” So so funny!!

  27. shannon says...

    Dinner table conversation with my four and seven year olds:

    neverending knock-knock jokes. They make them up as they go, forget the punchline and laugh their heads off when they can sneak in bathroom humor.

    Would you rather. Would you rather be a banana slug or a snail? Would you rather be a worm or a rock? They make no sense but we must each answer and carefully explain our reasoning.

    Also, post-sickness planning. “We’re going to go on a lot of vacations after the sickness is over,” says my four year old. “We’re going to go to that place where you get on the airplane. They have such yummy food there.” (she forgot the word for airport.

  28. Bettye Greenwood says...

    We had dinner with our 3 year old granddaughter last week when her parents were away. My husband gave her a piece of pepperoni pizza and she said, “No. I don’t want the peppermints.”

  29. Emily says...

    I love this so much! As a mother of an almost 3 and a 4 year old we already have so many funny conversations. We live thousands of kilometers away from other family members which makes me so sad for all of the silly phraseology that they miss. “(at bedtime) I’m boring (tears of grief)!!” “Mama, can you inside out this shirt for me?” I just want to squeeze all the kids!!

  30. Lara says...

    A family favorite:

    my mom was in a home improvement store with with her 4yo nephew and she hears him say to the salesman: Do you “see” this smell? It’s my fart.

    Haha!

  31. tya says...

    my 5 years old is obsessed with storybots in netflix, he’s been watching it over and over again days and nights. a few weeks back when he was playing with his cousin, he fell off on a dirt and hurt himself. he was sobbing that he got hurt, and i tried to comfort him, “it hurts but it will heal. your body is strong enough to heal itself, it just takes time”. and suddenly his mood changed and his crying turned into, “oh yeah you’re right. can you check it for me mom, is it t cell or b cell that helps our wounds heal faster?”. and i was left puzzled there and ended up googling what he’s talking about. oh well, i’ve got one little smartypants here

  32. Lisa says...

    No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, please do yourself a favor and buy Gretchin Rubin’s The Happiness Project One Sentence Journal for Mothers. It asks for a sentence everyday for 5 years time and is the perfect place to jot down all the amazing gems. Mine is almost full and I realized last summer when the fires were terrible in CA, that is one of the things that must be in my “Go bag” if we had to evacuate. I kind of want it online too, but something about physically writing it is special to me. We think we”ll remember everything, but we can’t possibly. Leafing through that journal makes my hear soar!!! Such a gift to raise these little ones! I laugh at “Mommy, do you know about yoga?” (He meant Yoda), and my heart aches at my 4 year old asking “Mommy, what does it mean to hate someone?” Kids are amazing.

    • Caitlin Chang says...

      You ARE amazing Lisa, for having the eyes to see how amazing kids are!

  33. Abby says...

    My 7 year old: “mom, you know you’re really cool!”
    Me: “oh, thanks, why do you say so?”
    7: “because you shave your armpits of course!”

  34. Anna says...

    When my daughter started speaking I started writing down the quotes on my Notes app and I’ll treasure them forever.

    When she was two and a half: Mommy! I want to tell you something important! (Puts her cheek to mine and in a low voice mutters “Someethinngg imppooooorrrtannnnt.”)

    When she was three and a half: Sometimes my heart beats faster but not because caffeine because I love someone maybe 100.

    When she was almost five: I’m going to take this leaf home because it really passions me.

  35. Sally says...

    I teach 5/6 year olds, and today in class we were discussing things we love about our mums (it’s mothers day in the UK this coming weekend).
    One child said to the class, “I love my mummy because she’s a great artor!”
    An artor? I query.
    Yes! She paints great pictures of unicorns!
    Ah, right. She’s an artist!

    • b says...

      She’s an artor – an author of art. ;)

  36. Sammi says...

    SEVEN!

    They’re both babies, you and Alex got married five minutes ago!

  37. I teach children English. In one recent lesson with a sister (8) and a brother (9), we were talking about what there is around them at home. (Are there any plants, pets, books, etc?) The brother asked me, “Is there a dad?” Confused, I replied, “Dad? No, my dad isn’t here.” He countered with “What? Is he at work or something?” His sister finally catches on: “Jacob!! Cynthia is an adult!!” Him: “Oh.” I’m glad I give off such childlike vibes… I guess?

  38. That first photo! Anton is such a COOL KID. How am I intimidated by a 7-year-old?!

  39. Ramona says...

    ….goodness…he already looks like a teenager!

  40. Heather says...

    In bed recovering from the stomach bug, and these comments are LIFE.

    Anton is at the best age! I wish I had written down some of the things my (now 14-yr-old) son had said around then. Although 14 is amazing in its own way!

    My 3-yr-old has a dairy sensitivity, and she calls her soy milk her “happy milk”. I hope she never stops!

  41. AJ says...

    Love these posts. Anton is super cool. That text message is the best!

  42. Karin says...

    Joanna, wait till the boys discover Axe body spray!

  43. Sarah says...

    We told the kids that we’re driving to Gulf Shores and renting a house for a spring vacation. My 7 year old immediately asked, “Mom, just tell me. I just want to know. Did you rent it on Vrbo or airbnb?” He looooves Vrbo ads that pop up during YouTube videos.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahaha so cute.

    • anna says...

      The ‘justs’ kill me haha!

  44. Hilary says...

    My 4-year old likes to make up phrases in the stylings of “You’re the cat’s pajamas!” Recently, we were trading them back and forth.

    “Greta, You’re the bee’s knees!”
    “Mom, You’re the camel’s humps!”
    “Well you’re the dog’s tuxedo”
    “Well, You’re a nose bows…”
    “You’re a good on the loose!”
    And on and on into ridiculous territory until suddenly, she just busted out with “Well mama, you’re the light that never stops shining.”

    And then I was DECEASED because my heart exploded.

    • Torey says...

      OMG amazing. Kids, eh?

  45. Julie says...

    My 9 year-old nephew was asked at school “What is something you worry about” and he replied “Bees. They are dying at an alarming rate.”

    I randomly think of this exchange and laugh, he’s such a sensitive little soul.

  46. Ana L says...

    My 4 yo David during a random TV commercial last night said:
    “Stop watching, they are just trying to get you to buy stuff, pay for stuff…. and you only pay for what you need” – in the Liberty Mutual guy”s voice.

    • Gaby says...

      This made me laugh! Wise words, indeed.

  47. Asia says...

    Mine are no longer little but they still bust out with funny/weird stuff.

    My 14-year-old told me the other night that I have “frog energy.” Whut??

  48. Isabella says...

    The other night, when I was tucking in my 5-year-old for the night, he snuggled up to me and said, “I think, at the mama shop, I got the best mama!” And a few months ago: “Just, how do you make a pear? I mean, is it just an apple that you squish with your hands?”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahah so cute

    • Joy says...

      That’s so cute! And so very 5 years old.

    • CB says...

      I just got the best laugh out of this…such a sweet little comment and now I too will imagine pears as squished apples!

  49. Ellen says...

    Me: Take your hand out of your pants.
    2 year old: Okay, I do it again.

  50. Kelley F says...

    My sweet, super-independent niece has been saying she wants to do things “lonely” when she wants to be alone lately. For example, “I’m gonna go potty lonely. Don’t come in!” It’s so funny my husband and I started to pick it up and now walk around saying we want to do things “on the lonely” all the time (which is hard when you have 2 toddlers of your own).

    • Emily says...

      My three year old does this too! “Mama, I need some lonely time” or “please go away, I want to be lonely with my Nana.”

  51. Kim says...

    When my nephew was about Anton’s age one of his favorite uncles took him shopping to find his “signature scent”. They went to Sephora and sampled a bunch before my nephew picked a favorite and his uncle purchased it for him. It was the sweetest and made my nephew feel so old and sophisticated. He’s a teen now and it is still his signature scent :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, that is SO cute.

    • Carole says...

      oh my GOSH, that is the cutest thing i’ve ever heard!!! My heart!

  52. Tricia says...

    We had a big laugh over what our 4 year old said recently. My husband came downstairs in a flannel shirt and our son said “Daddy! We’re not going to a wedding! Take off that fancy wedding suit!” I guess it’s been a while since he’s worn a button-down… just about a year, to be exact.

  53. Carol says...

    Recent gems from my 4-turning-5 year old son:

    “Benus, March, Saturn, Anus…”
    Eating cheeseburger with sesame seeds on the bun: “Sooo do these grow new cheeseburgers?”
    Watching me put on tights: “WAIT A MINUTE…. your PANTS are SOCKS?!?”
    After seeing a commercial for CLR, very worried, in his little lisp: “Mama… do we have limethcale?”

    • Isabella says...

      Trying so hard to stifle my laughter over these while my 5-year-old is on his kindergarten Zoom across the room!

    • Jenn says...

      Are your pants socks!! this is awesome!

  54. Lisa says...

    Our 8-year-old son recently invented a word for when we are hugging and snuggling together – “HUGGLE.” So now, he’ll request a “huggle” or “huggle-time” and it is the best thing ever.
    He was asking about college the other night and asked how much it cost. When I explained that it costs a lot of money depending on where you go, but reassured him that we are saving up for him to go, he said, “As long as I have $10 in my piggy bank, I’ll be okay.” lol

  55. NH observer says...

    As the mother of a seven-year-old, I can relate. I feel as if I’m already awash in nostalgia for this time: he is so sweet and affectionate and funny, even as he is talking a mile a minute for what seems like hours or scooting in endless laps around the kitchen just as we’re trying to make dinner. Does anyone have any advice for that? I just feel sad that this time won’t last.

    • If I had one piece of wisdom I’d like to impart to the world, it would be: take more videos.

  56. diana k. says...

    I don’t have kids but sometimes my mom takes really strong sleeping pills and has the sweetest conversations with me. One night she started talking about all the cats she wants to rescue and she starts going through all these really specific names like Casper, Florida, Nikolai… and then she asked me to carry her up the stairs (she’s small so I did) which is VERY out of character for her.

    • Kari T. says...

      This is soooo sweet, you sound like a wonderful daughter <3

  57. Jackie says...

    I read every single one of these comments, just DELIGHTFUL! Laughed out loud more than I can recall in recent months. So lucky to parent these hilarious, sweet little beings.

  58. Laraine says...

    When I asked my grandson why he didn’t use the ladder to climb into his bunkbed he said “Oh Grandma, ladders are old school…like the 1980’s”

  59. Lana says...

    Omgosh, this is so hysterically sweet. Last night I was talking to my 6 year old daughter and she was asking about the Covid vaccine. I was explaining it to her as well as I know how and all of a sudden she got really exasperated and said, “MOM!!! JUST TELL ME IF IT’S LIKE BUG SPRAY!!!”

    Lucky for me, my amazing ten year old daughter was there and said, “Yes, Cecilia! It’s just like bug spray for your insides. The Covid is bugs and mama’s vaccine will help keep them away!”

    Kids! ❤️

  60. Tori says...

    My daughter sleeps with the same giant IKEA dog ❤️

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      awwwww <3

  61. Kari says...

    My kids are almost 21 and 18. We still tease my son about his incessant ranking of everything from ages 5-9. Mom! In order, who is your favorite Star Wars bad guy? Mom! What is your favorite Iron Man suit? How about your second favorite? How about your third? Why is that your third favorite? It’s my first favorite. Mom! Mom! What’s your favorite rock? Igneous, Sedimentary or Metamorphic?

    • Amanda says...

      Oh no! My son is turning 5 this month and he does this! I didn’t realize it would last 4 years! I really don’t know what my fourth favorite hockey team is! <3

    • Karin says...

      My son’s 20 and still loves to rank things! It’s made for some great COVID-era dinner conversations. What are your 10 favorite albums of all time, 10 best Seinfeld episodes, etc. etc.

  62. Anna says...

    Two nights ago after brushing her teeth for bed my 7 year old found my razor lying around. She did not quite know what it was for. So she shaved off one eyebrow. Looks absolutely fabulously wild now.
    This was one day before school started again after 3 month. So she asked me to paint the eyebrow with my Make-up.
    She has this sweet little blond baby-eyebrow, mine are black. So ist did not look better after the make-over.

    • Kari T. says...

      Last night while putting our 6yr and 3 yr old to bed the eldest yelled to her Dad that she loves him 2 elephants, which devolved into the three of us yelling out bigger and bigger numbers of elephants to describe our love for Dad. “I love you 138 elephants!”

    • Amy says...

      I lol’d hard at this one. I can only imagine both your and her face when you discovered her after this hair removal experience.

  63. Ashley K. says...

    My three-year-old busted out a new gem for things she really doesn’t want to do. In the spirit of Bartleby, she now says, “I gonna save that for yesterday, mama.” This seems to apply to vegetables at dinner quite frequently.

    • Kelley says...

      This is GENUIS

  64. Mona Cardwell says...

    My 7 year old grandson recently asked me when I was going to teach him to drive.

  65. Love that sweet boy. He still looks little in the sleeping pic — swoon!

  66. Silvina says...

    When my 4-year-old niece doesn’t want to eat something, she never says “no”, she says “maybe later” (which, of course, means “no”).

  67. Alex says...

    Omg I can imagine his future girlfriends swooning over that piece of hair just like you do! So cute, thanks for this post. Xoxo Alex

    • AN says...

      Or boyfriends, c’mon now! ;)

    • Alex says...

      Yes An, thanks!

  68. Karen says...

    He’s styling! The first photo with the Jean jacket and boots, hair in the wind…

  69. Sara says...

    My 3 year old came to me yesterday, because he hurt himself. I asked him where it hurt:
    “on the little elbow of my finger” (his knuckle)
    I kissed the little elbow, he went on to play, I looked at my finger and indeed saw you could see every finger as a tiny arm with a little elbow and I’m still enjoying that thought.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Awwww! My kids used to call a big toe a “foot thumb.” :)

    • Kelli says...

      Mine calls it her uncle! And she calls the back of her knees her “leg pitties” (“mama will you tickle my leg pitties?”)

  70. Neela says...

    Funniest thing my 4.5yr old said the other day, as we were talking about someone who did something ‘bad’.
    ‘Do you think he’ll go to jail?’
    ‘No, it wasn’t that bad’.
    ‘I know what the police should do- they should send him a package and when he opens it there’s *nothing in it*!!!’

    Justice in the eyes of a kid 🤣

    • 😂

    • Mia says...

      That is hilarious!

    • Tess says...

      OMG! That’s so hilarious. I’m going to chuckle about that all day!! ❤️

  71. Jen says...

    Our 9 year old asked if he could look up information on tsumanis the other day, but not knowing what to do with a “ts,” he pronounced it “tunami.” All the family has now adopted this pronunciation and declared it a special kind of tsumani wave, filled with tuna.

  72. Katie says...

    Aww! Love this age too. Anton might enjoy another Australian classic (a new one!) – Bluey! It’s an animated series about a family of Blue Heelers, 7 minute episodes, and hilariously Australian. You can watch episodes on ABC iview for free 🙂 highly entertaining (and relatable) for parents also! (Sticky gecko, baby race…)

    • MC says...

      Bluey is the BEST!!!

    • Katie says...

      Our family is OBSESSED (!!!!) with Bluey. Older seasons are on Disney+, newer episodes are on DisneyNow. I got everyone in the family (me, husband, two girls) matching t-shirts with their appropriate Bluey characters. Makes me very happy!

    • Rusty says...

      Yup! I don’t have kids and I love it and I’m Australian.
      There’s a Blue Heeler a few doors down named Lilly and I swear, if she could talk …

    • Meghan says...

      It’s a family favorite at our house too! So funny for kids and I think even funnier for adults!

    • Amy says...

      We just decided that our family is going as Bluey and her family for Halloween.

      Every time we’re at the park struggling to leave my husband and I look at each other, share knowing looks and simultaneously say “sticky gecko” in honor of the most relatable parenting situation on TV.

  73. Alice says...

    I was on facetime with my mum the other day, while she was taking care of my 2.5 year old nephew. Unsurprisingly, through the pandemic my hair has got LONG, and the first thing she said when I picked up was “Your hair! It’s so long!!” (I mostly wear it up so she hadn’t seen it in a while). We started chatting away about pandemic hair related woes, and my nephew came running over yelling “Auntie Alice look at MY hair!!” and proceeded to tell me about how his dad had cut it for him. The absolute CUTEST thing, he just wanted to be involved!

  74. Callie says...

    At dinner last week, we served our 3 year old a cup of water. While we were talking we saw her take a drink out of the corner of our eye, and heard her say to no one but herself in the strongest Aussie accent ever, ‘Yummm. Dat’s good beer’. 😂😂😂

    • Bonnie says...

      Hahahahaha. Thanks, Callie
      That is GREAT!

    • patty says...

      My little brother once got ahold of something in the martini shaker and said “Dat’s dood water.”

  75. beth says...

    At about age 7 my son visited a friend’s house after school and then stayed for dinner. As he was the sort of child who loved foods like curry or puttanesca, yet detested things such as salad dressing (not salad, mind you, just salad dressing!!), I was curious what he was served and how it all went. He described the meal as an “exotic meat dish” which really piqued my interest, and I asked him to describe it further. “Well, it was shaped like a loaf of bread and it had ketchup on top!” He was flabbergasted when I asked him if it was meat loaf. “How did you know??! Have you ever tried it?!” He’s 21 now and we still always refer to meatloaf as “exotic meat dish.”

    • Genevieve Martin says...

      of all of the comments, this is the one that made me laugh out loud, thank you :D

    • Amy says...

      I just had to swallow a huge snort after reading this.

  76. JP says...

    When my 5 yo daughter wants to cuddle up on the couch, she pulls the blanket and says “mommy and daddy, can we get warm together?” It makes me smile and I inevitably wonder when and if she’ll ever stop saying that…

  77. Le says...

    My 3 year old went through a phase around her birthday when she wanted “silly bad ideas” at bedtime. Things like, “It’s a silly bad idea to give the cat a bath with your own TONGUE.” “Is seven after three?” she’d say. “Yes.” “OK, I want seven silly bad ideas.” (As opposed to three, the number I always suggested.) It makes me smile that she grasps the idea of a silly bad idea, and relishes them, but where exactly three and seven are in relation to each other is hazy. :)

  78. Eva says...

    We figured out a way to have a peaceful transition away from an activity for my almost 2yo: saying “bye” to the thing. e.g., leaving the playground to go home. “byyyyee playgound” (r intentionally omitted).

    otherwise she mostly repeats what we say, which is also entertaining. in the car listening to music: “maybe turn it down a little bit”

  79. Joslyn says...

    I always feel like I forget these sweet conversations with my little ones. Tonight as I tucked my three year old daughter into bed she told me she loved me so much. I asked “how much?” And she replied without missing a beat, “30 pounds”. I love the idea that she loves me with her exact body weight :)

  80. Sascha says...

    My daughter (age 4) running past us in the kitchen, paused and said “dad, you’re the dumbest,” and continued running. We laughed so hard.

    • Julie says...

      HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  81. Danyelle says...

    One night we asked our four year old daughter why was she putting on new underwear with her pajamas and she told us, “it’s going to be yesterday tomorrow so I need new underwear today!”

    • Hilarious!! She is kinda right LOL!!!!!

  82. Monica says...

    My 7 year old got some Tootsie Rolls for the first time and thought it was hilarious that they were named TOOT SIGH rolls – on the floor laughing! Because it says TOOT.

    We are also studying the founding of the United States and we read today some of the Constitution, which became a conversation about how some people are behaving right now. “Don’t they know what it says? Maybe we could give them this (kids) book so they can read it.”

    For all the funny things that come out of his mouth, I’m so amazed with how deeply he is processing the little he knows of the world.

  83. Johanna says...

    My three year old took off her pajamas in the living room and said, “I’m too naked and too cold to wear jammies.” Then she only let me help her get dressed if I called her dress a “water shoombez.”

  84. Kylee says...

    My 6 yr old son is sensitive and emotional but doesn’t always like physical touch. He’s his absolute sweetest at night when I’m tucking him in bed. I’ve always said “I love you always and forever and then some.” The other night he asked me, “Mom how high do the numbers go?” … I said “Well they keep going forever.” He kind of thought about it for a minute then said, “Do they ever pop? I love you till the numbers pop.” Oh. My. Heart.

    • R says...

      Aww, Kylee, my 5 year old son said almost the same thing and asked how high numbers go :-) Now he says he loves me to infinity. So sweet.

    • Kylee says...

      Soo sweet R! Sometimes they just find a way with words that articulate things just perfectly ❤️

  85. Jessica says...

    gah, the bedtime pillow talk is the sweetest! i asked my 4 yr old son, “how was your lunch today?” he said “thank you for asking, it was good.” isn’t that just too much? my husband and i have never spoke this politely, Ever.
    when he was 3, and when i would be changing clothes around him, he would come hug my bare leg or tummy and say “ooo so chubby, i love your chubby”. at first i was like, dang i know i’m out of shape but…then I asked him “what does chubby mean?” and he said with total adoration, “it means cute!”
    it is just too heart achingly sweet…

  86. Rachel Swenson says...

    Oh gosh. I love how in love with him you are. It’s so cute!

  87. Loren says...

    This morning I read that the CDC said it was ok for fully vaccinated people to visit people who live in single households without masks or social distancing, so I canceled my clients and rushed to Brooklyn to see my three nieces and their seven kids for the first time in a year. We took them to the park and the two year old held on to my finger all the way there and back and even let me carry him across the street. Then we went home and the kids crawled all over me and screamed and laughed as I pretended to noisily eat them up. Of all the things I have missed this past year, that was what I missed the most.

    • DEANNE says...

      I love every moment of that beginning with the idea of you canceling all your meetings.

    • brenna says...

      i have tears in my eyes. what a lovely day for you and for all of those kiddos. a friend described this as watching family “delight in their love for your kids” SOB. these tiny moments are THE moments and we’ve all missed them so so much.

    • Jen says...

      This is just beautiful. Congratulations <3.

    • M says...

      Omg. 😭😭😭 cant wait to be fully vacinnated. Sounds like heaven. So happy for you.

    • There’s no love like auntie love!

  88. Tracy says...

    While sitting on the sofa flipping thru a lego instruction booklet my 4 year old son said “Mom, are you thinking about what I’m thinking about?”
    Me: “I don’t know, what are you thinking about?”
    Him: “I’m thinking about mustard.”

    Nope, can’t say we were thinking the same thing.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahahaha

    • Katie says...

      Just guffawed out loud. Brilliant. This kid’s brain is brilliant.

  89. AHV says...

    Before my son’s 7th birthday, he asked if he could try soda on his birthday. I said, yes. Turns out he thought that soda was for kids aged 7 and up because he read the name 7UP in the grocery store! He’s 13 and it still makes me laugh all these years later!

    • Heather says...

      I love this so much! So sweet.

    • isavoyage says...

      Ooooh, this is so adorable (and funny)!

    • Silvina says...

      <3

  90. sadie says...

    once, at 4 years old, my son (who has a scratchy little voice and can’t pronounce r’s) mid-hug quietly said to me: ‘i only eva wan to be wis you, ma’. i still melt thinking of it.

    • C says...

      SOB!!!

  91. KElly says...

    Overheard 3 yo daughter say to 6 yo daughter: Even when I bite you, I still love you. 😬

    • Erin says...

      This phrase could be printed on T-shirts as the official motto of Sibling Relationships in a Global Pandemic.

  92. Kate says...

    when my son was 5, my parents started taking him to that favourite Saturday activity, garage sales. he got the gist of bargaining, kinda… once he found an old clock he wanted to dismantle: when the seller said it was a dollar, Alex asked if he’d take a buck and a quarter. right idea, wrong direction.
    about the same time, he was playing with the if/then concept. so one day, when told he couldn’t do something, he said, “if I can’t do that, well, I’ll never eat chocolate again!” okay says I, wait, wait, says he!

  93. Hannah Sanders says...

    Will Anton give up the cologne brand? I’m all in for sandalwood and musk!

  94. Meg says...

    My seven year old said to me today, “I like the person I am and that person does not like chores.” Eye roll for me and also chuckle all day about it.

    • OM says...

      haha great!!

    • Eliza says...

      I am going to be more proud about not liking chores. They have inspired me.

  95. MB says...

    Kids are so funny! I was driving one time when the kids were maybe 8 & 10. I hear this from the back:
    Younger kid to big brother: “___, I’d die for you.”
    Big brother: “Thanks ___. I love you. But I wouldn’t die for you. I’d break a few bones though.”
    Younger brother: “Thanks.”

    That was it. Such a strange exchange but I swear my heart swelled.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Oh my gosh, SO sweet!

  96. Laura says...

    I have a 7 year old too and the sweetness, combined with his still wild imagination, is just wonderful. The other night at bedtime he said to me, “It feels so good loving people. It feels even better loving them more than you knew you could.”

  97. Rachael says...

    My seven-year-old yesterday, helpfully and kindly encouraging me to wear something that is not my pandemic uniform of ancient sheepskin slippers, running tights, and an old hoodie: “Wow, Mom, that outfit you’ve put together today looks just fantastic. I really like your style. That’s a good look for you and I’d like to see it again!”

    Reader, I was wearing sneakers, jeans, and a knee-length down puffer coat. 😂

    • Kirsten says...

      Oh Rachael, this morning I put on a jumpsuit which was the first time I’ve donned actual clothes in I don’t even remember how long. I walked into the living room and my three year old looked up from a book and said “Mom, why do you finally look pretty?” 🤨

    • Karyn says...

      That’s adorable! Haha
      The other day my 4 year old grabbed my face and pulled it down to hers, and said “mommy your eyes are awake like mine.” I was wearing mascara… for the first time in almost a year ☺️

    • Sarah says...

      Diplomat in training X

    • CB says...

      Another LOL moment for me, as I sit in leggings and a sweatshirt reading 🤣

  98. Nina Nattiv says...

    7 is the weirdest age. My kids still watch Sesame Street, but they’re also Lizzo’s biggest fans.

    • Monica says...

      OMG so funny. My daughter, the younger sibling 2-1/2 years from her brother, loved Sofia the First and Barbie, but also did the Whip & Nae Nae to her 4YO preschool teacher!!!

    • Laura says...

      Ha ha! My boys ask (5, 7, 9) for the “Hair toss” song (Good as Hell) on the regular. The five year-old, who definitely does not understand the words, said, “It’s almost like this song knows exactly what I feel like.”

    • joy says...

      My kids (now 5 and 2) have been obsessed with Florence and the Machine for awhile. Their absolute favorite song is Dog Days Are Over, which, for reasons not entirely clear to me, they call The Jet Song.

  99. Elizabeth says...

    Awwwww what a sweetie! I love that his profile is still recognizably the same as in his sonogram.

  100. Kristin says...

    For the past week or so, my two and a half year old has started saying “yes, that sounds correct” instead of just “yes” when I ask him a question. And he says it in a stuffy/fancy sounding voice…we have no idea why he has started doing it, but it makes me crack up every time!

    • Amelia says...

      This is so funny. I am dying laughing as I picture it.

    • Kristin, has he not overheard you on work meetings? My twins (11) tell me I have a work voice (and impersonate me perfectly when I’m in meeting mode) because they’ve listened to way too many work meetings over the last year. And granted, I’m speaking literally the whole darn day.

  101. Charlene says...

    On Sundays, my five (5) year old daughter stops what she’s doing, whether she’s playing, eating, or watching videos, and randomly tells me throughout the day, “I’m going to miss you tomorrow, mom. I’m going to miss you while you are at work. I love you.”

    It’s these unexpected sweet gestures that make my day, and recharges me for the following workweek.

  102. Julie says...

    I often say to my kids at bedtime what my mother used to say to me “see you in the funny papers,” which I realize has no meaning for kids now that no one reads the funny papers, but I have turned into my mom and I just can’t help it. My 7 year old son recently said to me very seriously at bedtime “see you in the paperclips!” My heart exploded from cuteness overload while I was laughing out loud.

    • Sarah says...

      I love this! My mom always said “What are you going to dream about? Puppies and kitties?” In the morning she’d ask us and we’d always say “Puppies and kitties!” I taught my boys and this month, they started branching out to “Puppies and dump trucks” “Puppies and racecars”. It’s so cute.

    • Niko says...

      The other day my three year old was telling me about a snowman at school. I asked him if we could call it a snow-person, because “How do we know it’s a snow-MAN?” He replied, “it’s a snowman because it has two balls.” I lost it!
      He meant it was made of two snowballs, but it was too perfect!

  103. michelle gordon says...

    My three year old yesterday “”Do you hear that? Dada’s vacuuming, he does that a lot of days. He’s so funny” this still makes me giggle

    • ana says...

      LOL! that really made me laugh :)

  104. Leslie says...

    Our kids recently found a shop on Etsy where one can order custom mix cassette tapes “for only $20!” They’re having the best time.

  105. Love this! My 5-year-old is in a big “wishing” stage. She often wishes out loud that she were part of her best friend’s family, or that she had two moms and two dads, or that we had a huge house and all of our friends and family lived in it together (to which I say no thank you).

    But sometimes she says things like “I wouldn’t want any mom but you!” and it’s just the best.

    And then there’s the other night, when she was in the bathtub and out of the blue asked, “What do you think poop tastes like?”

    • Mandy says...

      Hahaha this made me laugh out loud! Exactly my life!

    • Loops says...

      We’re trying to teach our two-year old to say please and thank you. She’s shortened asking and receiving to simply “please you!”
      (And yes, this does please me!).

  106. Gertrude's Tine says...

    Our son recently turned seven as well– SUCH a fun age. We’ve had a long habit of saying I love you more than… at bedtime. Answers range from baby sloths, baby Yoda, s’mores, chicken pot pie. Anything really related to our recent life.

    The other night my son whisper-yelled ‘I love you more than coal’. And I thought he was going to fall over from laughing so hard. It was the funniest thing to him. I laughed along because it really was so absurd and such a non-sequiter for our life. Later he tried to say it to me again but doubled over in hysterics trying to get it out. Oh how I wish I’d recorded the pure joy of his laugh.

    He’s not lying, though. I do love him more than coal.

  107. Mel says...

    After they raced across the yard, my five year old said to her sister, who is three: “Both of us win! Except not you!”
    Recently, my three years old was grumpy about bedtime.
    Her: Why do you and Daddy always get to make the rules?
    Me: Because we’re the grownups, but when you’re a grownup, you can make the rules too.
    Her (a little angrily): When I’m a grownup, we can all be grownups living together, telling each other what to do all the time!

    • Louisa says...

      Me to my sweet 6 year old: “Jane, can you imagine me and daddy without you?” Her: “It would be a whole bunch of bossytalk.” Ha!

    • Alex says...

      Hahahaha you gotta love their logic :D

  108. AmandaGY says...

    “I’ll remember you FOREVER”. OH my heart. What is it about bedtime? My son is only 4, but I cherish those minutes in the pitch dark after I tuck him in and all of those feelings and stories come out. It’s when I hear about his dreams, what happens at preschool (even at dinner when we are met with an “I don’t remember” when we ask) and all of those preschooler feels and deep thoughts. I already ache for the days when he won’t want us to lie next to him anymore. Thanks for sharing Joanna <3

  109. Sarah says...

    I feel so lucky to have triplets, because I get three times the cute comments at the same time. The other night at bedtime, they were huddled up together over a book.

    Boy 1: I know what this page says. It says “Mom is a good Mom, she is nice to me.”
    Boy 2: No, that’s not what it says! It says “Mom is a bad mom!”
    Boy 3: No no no, we can’t read!

    I was DEAD. Still wheeze laughing about it.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha so cute!!

    • Patricia Kirpatrick says...

      “Mom, you know those changes you said my body is going through? Do they have to do with getting ready to have babies? Because my belly is getting bigger!” My 7yo commenting on what is really just the pandemic belly we’ve all sprouted. Xox!

  110. joanna says...

    on weekends before we head out, my husband loads the boys into their car seats and gives me a couple of bonus minutes to get ready. there’s something almost celebratory about having a few moments to slap on some make up before i join them in the car. when i finally make a grand entrance, my four year old says in the sweetest voice “oh mummy, you look so beautiful!” and it makes me feel so lucky to be his mother every single time.

  111. Alex says...

    My 5 year old is in the “DID YOU KNOW…” stage. She’s constantly relaying new fascinating facts that she has learned to me with this question. And always with such a deliberate and impressed voice – “Did you know the Earth REVOLVES AROUND the SUN??”, “Did you know that there are tiny organisms that are SO SO SO tiny we can’t even see them??” “Did you know that your food turns into nutrients after its digested and goes to all parts of your body to make you grow??” I usUally reply “Yes, i DID know that!” to which she responds, “How do YOU know EVERYTHING already?!” Cracks me up.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      wow, she’s learning so much! so cute. xoxo

  112. Joanna Tsay says...

    Gotta share something my 5.5 YO son said the other day. We were outside and he casually turned to me and said, “hey Mommy do you know about unicorn toots?” “No, not familiar”, I say. “Well, let me tell you. They are rainbow, but full of power and lightning. If a person stands near one, it would destroy them.” “Wow.” “Yes. And all that is left would be blood and bones.” From rainbows to bones. That’s my kid right now.

  113. Here are a couple from our 3yo.

    This may be TMI, but when he is pooping (struggling to get him to potty train so he’s still in diapers) he will say ‘I’m tooting out a poop’. 😂

    The other night my husband was going to read him a book. He had the book open but got distracted so our son turned around and said, ‘you don’t know the words?’

    I’m trying to write down the sweet and funny things he says so I never forget!

    • Abigail says...

      When my son was constipated, he would say “those turds are really snuggled up inside of me!” Never TMI.

  114. AN says...

    Also, can we talk about his Blundstones, the best boots in the whole wide world for kids and adults alike?!? Why do any other boots even exist?

  115. Sam says...

    While I was “assisting” my 4 year old son in the bathroom today, during a quiet moment he says, “well I guess it’s time for me to shave up my beard today. It’s getting long and itchy”. Ummm, what?! And adorable. 4 year olds are exhausting and so lovely.

  116. So incredibly sweet! I needed your post & all these great comments today. Thank you! CofJ for the win…again!

  117. Lisa says...

    I told my (then) three year-old: I love you like CRAZY.
    He thought about that and said: I love you like FUNNY.

  118. Bonnie says...

    Reminds me of my now 7 year old, who used to say “I’m never ever going to forget you…even when you’re dead!” Ummm…thanks?

    • Bonnie says...

      I’m always so thrown to see another Bonnie in the comments… I actually thought what…what did I post?

  119. Susan says...

    Today my 6 year old randomly stated in the car…
    “It takes dad so long to poop….I once built a fort in the time it took him to poop…every five minutes I would say ‘hey dad, are you almost done?’ …he wasn’t done…” It made me laugh so hard!

    My 4 year old likes to play would you rather and today asked if I’d rather be in a shark tank or an alligator pit. I chose shark tank.

    • Louisa says...

      Literally while I’m reading this thread before bed, my 6-year-old came in to ask “would you rather take big enormous steps for the rest of your life or teeny tiny steps?” Goofball.

  120. Megan says...

    THANK YOU for that awesome end of the work day LOL I got from the texting story :) :) :)

  121. Lauren B says...

    Upon climbing into the back seat at school carpool today, my 6 year old son said “I love you so much Momma! Happy Women’s Independence Day!!”
    (I sense some confusion about the meaning of International Women’s Day… but I’ll take it, sweet boy!)

  122. Karen says...

    I was rushing through breakfast with my 4 year old hoping to get to work on time and my little girl says to me “Mommy can’t you stay home today, my heart needs a treat” Still tugs at me!

    • fgb says...

      That. is. adorable.

  123. Mouse says...

    What Anton says is my hands-down favorite thing about this blog. Dude.

  124. Anne says...

    I just heard my son on the phone with his grandmother, telling her that “little pox is a very serious disease.” I was so confused, until I realized he meant smallpox!

  125. Kristen says...

    Today I dropped my 7-month-old son off at daycare for the first time. I cried all morning and my heart was breaking, but sure enough the teacher said “Hello sweet boy” and he held his arms right out for her. I was simultaneously relieved but also thought “HEY! What about me?!” I called my mother on the walk home & apparently I did the exact same thing on my first day of kindergarten. She was crying and I was like “bye! I’m going to go hold the teachers hand and walk into the classroom now.” Apple doesn’t fall far…

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      aww, that’s so sweet! and spoiler alert: they ALWAYS love the mama best.

  126. D says...

    What is it about little boys being super sweet at bedtime? My 4 year old showers me with love right before bedtime. So, so sweet!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, he’ll say, “you are the best mom I could ever hope for” or “why are you so, so beautiful???”

      such a little charmer. <3

    • Mila says...

      Awww Anton ! So sweet. I know what you mean, my six year old speaks and acts like a 13 yr old at times and then others she’s cracking up at Curious George and I want to hold onto that little bit of baby still! These in between years are heartbreaking because you know it’s going to change drastically any day.
      I already mourn the time she no longer asks for every stuffed animal she encounters …as much as it may drive me crazy right now.

  127. Susanne says...

    Just came here to say that when your kids say those cute things, WRITE THEM DOWN! It’s so easy to forget.

  128. N says...

    Can you spot me!!! Gold.

    Around my son’s second birthday I was changing his diaper. He looks down and says “hello, how are you today?” Shortly followed by “ ‘It’s a bit cold’, says penis”.

    It already has its own voice.

    • Alex says...

      Hahahaha! My 2 year old also likes to report how his penis is doing. Every diaper change – “My penis is good!” Almost like he’s relieved. Little weirdos…

    • Lynn says...

      My two year old has recently discovered his penis and during a recent diaper change, after identifying the size of his poop (a regular activity for us…) as “medium” he says, “tiny penis!”. I had to hold back from laughing so it wouldn’t become his next most repeated phrase and told him it was just the right size for his body.

  129. G says...

    My 3.75 year old was running down the sidewalk with her bestie from preschool and bestie’s mom called out “Don’t go so far, guys! head back now, please!” My daughter turns to her buddy and confides in the world’s loudest stage whisper: “Did you know, you don’t have to do anything your mom says?!” I am in big trouble.

    Her bestie is also obsessed with death, and they basically have a toddler suicide pact.
    My daughter: we are dead when our bodies stop working. I am going to be dead when [BFF] is dead. [BFF] says she is going to be dead forever. We are going to be dead together.

    My chatty 18 month old is still breastfeeding, and when he wants a change, he’ll look at me and say: “other side.” It is so ridiculous, that when my husband wants something, he’ll call “other side” from across the house.

    • jillian says...

      What, were they born gothic?? Wow haha

    • Laura says...

      Omg, I am laughing so hard at these!

    • Jody says...

      Our son called out “sides!” when we switched breasts. He was 25 months (but who’s counting😉) when I was stopped nursing him once a day before bed.

  130. Becka says...

    Oh Joanna this makes my heart melt! Thank you for sharing these tender moments. This helps when I worry that all my two-year-old’s toddler sweetness will disappear as she grows up!

  131. Gillian says...

    My 3rd (of 4) child and middle boy is almost exactly Anton’s age. He LOVES to use big words. For the last year when I leave for work (I am a physician) or he leaves for school he says, “Good-bye Mommy! Have the BEST day you’ve ever had in your whole entire life!” I reply with “Right back at you, Fred!” I know someday he will stop saying good bye to me this way, just as his older brother and sister have outgrown that childish sweetness. So I just try to soak it in each and every day for as long as it lasts. Sigh…