At 10 years old, Toby talks seriously about basketball and movies and all things preteen, but seven-year-old Anton is still in that in-between stage where he seems very adult but is a baby at heart. Here are some funny things he has busted out with recently…
Anton is obsessed with his dad, so he’s gotten interested in cologne. He isn’t sure how to use it, so every evening, after brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas, he’ll quietly douse himself in super musky cologne. Reading bedtime stories now smells strongly of sandalwood.
Anton borrowed Alex’s phone and began nonchalantly texting me from the other room. “Hey, man,” pinged my phone. “Are you free for a call? Ring me when you get a sec.”
We often play Australia’s Deadly Animals Bingo, and we’ve recently started betting on it. We’ll usually bet a dollar, which makes it feel fun and suspenseful. The other night, Anton tried to up the ante:
Anton: “Want to bet on Bingo?”
Me: “Sure.”
Anton: “How about $50?”
Me: “…”
Anton: “Can you spot me? Because I don’t have any money.”
I overheard him telling a friend at the playground, “The only rule at my house is: there are no rules.”
At bedtime, Anton gets super sweet. The other night, he whispered, “I love you so, so much, Mommy. I’ll remember you FOREVER.”
And most of all: Even though he acts like a teenager, when you catch him from the side, you’ll see THAT PIECE OF HAIR!!!!! That little piece of hair sticking out the back is literally the cutest thing ever and my heart hurts whenever I see it. I hope it never untangles.
What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? I’d love to hear…
P.S. More conversations with Toby and Anton, and a seven-year-old’s guide to travel.
311 COMMENTS
This is so funny! My 9 year old boy also uses cologne before bedtime..and always more than it’s needed, haha! Also- I love him with uncut, long, covid hair and I don’t want him to grow up ever!
I was teaching my just-turned-8 year old daughter how to play MASH. We were making up options for my imaginary future and she was HARSH in the most hilarious ways.
My future hobby: “holding up Trump signs” LOLOLOLOL (she knows we are not Trump supporters, and was totally trolling me)
My future pet: “A poisonous snake that doesn’t like people”
My future spouse: “An old man with so many germs”
Oh my goodness, it was so hilarious!!! But then I catch sight of her little round cheek from the side and it pinches up my heart in the way only growing children can.
Spot on on 7 year olds! Mine said the other day (he wanted to be left alone at the playground for a few hours!!): “Mom, i’m basically a Teenager. I even had my Pimple already!” haha
My boys are the same ages as yours and I feel the same way. My 7 yr old tries so hard to keep up with his 10 yr old brother and be “like a grown up” that I think it’s happening to fast. Then he does something silly and his dimples come out. Melts me every time. Lately he’s wanted to spend more time one on one with me. So we started playing catch. It’s been so fun to chat and catch and be together in the moment.
My daughter was explaining to my little grandson how people and dinosaurs did not live on the earth at the same time. He says . . . . What about Grammy?
Ouch!!
Joanna, if it’s any consolation my boyfriend is a grown man and he still has a sprig of hair like that if it gets too long :) so you may get lucky with Anton!
My 10-year-old sister recently asked me, “Why do you always have to explain everything?” I told her that since I’m a teacher it’s my natural instinct!
She still lets me tuck her into bed every time I visit though ♥️
My five year old has been around when I’ve watched the news this past year so she has picked up on my opinion of Donald Trump. The other night we were playing Wise Owl (a more female-friendly name for Old Maid) when her dad won and then my very disappointed daughter threw a bit of a tantrum over losing. She ran back into the room and we asked her what was wrong and she furrowed her brow, crossed her arms and huffed “I’m being like Donald Trump!” Aka a sore loser.
Ohhh, that rumpled hair got me too! My kids are currently rocking grown-out pandemic haircuts (i.e. their Dad did it), and my 5yo now has a mullet straight out of the early eighties that kinda melts my heart every time I look at him!
Mom. I just need to get a liiittle bit taller, and then I can marry you.
Aww, I’d love that! But what about Dad?
…he can…go to the dump. Or take a nap.
I love stories about Angon, he is so cool and cute! My husband has this hair thing too. We have a photo of him as a fat smiling baby with exactly same piece of hair sticking from his head as it still does every morning after 50 years.
Thanks, Joanna, for these sweet posts. They are some of my favorites. The other day while wiping herself, my two year old declared, “My vagina is not a sammich.” No idea where that came from but I was cracking up.
My other recent favorite is “I love you too much.” Conflating I love you too and I love you so much. Sometimes if I ask her how much she loves me or daddy, she’ll respond “two!”
Picking my daughter up from school, one of her teachers left with us the other day. As we walked down the block she suggested my five year old tell me about the apple store. My daughter shook her head. So the teacher explained that she had broken her phone and was feeling sad about it when my daughter came up and said, “Megan! Did you know there is this store called the apple store? But they don’t sell apples; all they sell is phones.”
My three and a half year old when I told her all we have is regular tap water: I won’t drink that! It’s old fashioned.”
Time to wean off the soda stream, I suppose.
Today I was wanting to take a picture of my 6yr old dressed up in a fancy red dress complete with red wings and superhero mask, she says to me “No pictures. No autographs.” haha well ok then!
My son likes to say he never did something. Scarfed down a bowl of oatmeal, but I put oatmeal in front of him the next day and hear, “No! I neber eat oatmeal!” He does this all the time!
My sons are both in their early 20s, so we’re well past that stage. But they still things that can just move the earth for me, like: “Mom, I can’t wait for you to meet her.”
Oh my goodness, Wendy. This comment brought tears to my eyes. <3 What a world, that we're lucky enough to experience these moments and emotions.
Cutie! That is a cowlick – if he’s anything like me, he will spend a lot of time as a teenager trying to smooth/tame it and then sometime in his 20’s he’ll admit defeat :)
My husband and I don’t have any kids, but my husband is very young-at-heart and is constantly having water fights/snowball fights with the kids in our condo complex. They actually ring the doorbell and ask if he can come outside and play (he’s 45). We found out how unaware they are of his actual age when one of the boys said to him “I’m telling your MOM!”, which they did. To me.
oh my gosh, this is so cute.
That is absolutely hilarious!
Thanks for sharing Twyla, this absolutely cracked me up!
This is fantastic!
This is so sweet and sounds just like my partner! The kids don’t ring the doorbell to play with him but he makes friends with them wherever we go – splash pad, dog run, playground. They want him to push them on the swings, have water fights, etc etc.
We were talking over dinner about what time of day we were born. My 14 yr old was born at 3.33am… so my 7yr old asked “when was I born”, I said “at about 7/ 7.30pm …”.. she did the bedtime maths and replied “ so did I have to go straight to bed?” 🤣
It’s going to be Mother’s Day in the U.K. on Sunday, so I’ve been prepping my kids to make sure I actually get a present this year. My 5 year old says “I’m going to get you an apron, flowers and a beautiful flower dress”. That’s his go to present for the women in his life.
Not bad :))
At bedtime, my 6 year-old will hold on to me really tightly as I’m trying to extricate myself from his bedroom, and will say, “I’ve got you in the Mommy trap!”
Another great one from a couple years ago – “I can’t eat that (leftover dinner from the day before)! It has a bit too much yesterday in it!”
I started a journal last year to write down the things my now almost-five year old says after I realized I might not always remember something he said to me when he was 2.5 and I was pregnant with his sister:
“What are these for?” (Points to one of my breasts)
“Well, Mommy will help feed the baby with these, just like I fed you.”
Contemplation and then, pointing to the other breast:
“That the frigerator?”
My now 20 month old daughter’s first entry: “butt cheese,” which is what she yells, LOUDLY, when she wants her “pacis.”
When his food has too much of a kick, my three year old says, “I don’t like it. It makes me spicy!” We’re never going to correct this one.
I am always kicking myself for not writing down more when they were younger, they were so funny then. They’re now 11 & nearly 13 and what I love about this age are their conversations ranging from deep to absurd in a matter of minutes. Maybe I should record them for posterity. And we watch comedians together! Certain punch lines have become running gags in our household which I love. My son recently asked me if I ever had any regrets about having kids. But I can honestly say I never have because having these wonderful humans made life so much better !
My son will be 5 next week. The other night I was heading to a friend’s for some girl time (she’s in our quarantine bubble) and my little guy was REALLY sad that I was going out. We told him I had to “run some errands” to which he replied, with big fat tears rolling down his face, “why don’t you just take the car?!?!?!?” So so funny!!
Dinner table conversation with my four and seven year olds:
neverending knock-knock jokes. They make them up as they go, forget the punchline and laugh their heads off when they can sneak in bathroom humor.
Would you rather. Would you rather be a banana slug or a snail? Would you rather be a worm or a rock? They make no sense but we must each answer and carefully explain our reasoning.
Also, post-sickness planning. “We’re going to go on a lot of vacations after the sickness is over,” says my four year old. “We’re going to go to that place where you get on the airplane. They have such yummy food there.” (she forgot the word for airport.
We had dinner with our 3 year old granddaughter last week when her parents were away. My husband gave her a piece of pepperoni pizza and she said, “No. I don’t want the peppermints.”
I love this so much! As a mother of an almost 3 and a 4 year old we already have so many funny conversations. We live thousands of kilometers away from other family members which makes me so sad for all of the silly phraseology that they miss. “(at bedtime) I’m boring (tears of grief)!!” “Mama, can you inside out this shirt for me?” I just want to squeeze all the kids!!
A family favorite:
my mom was in a home improvement store with with her 4yo nephew and she hears him say to the salesman: Do you “see” this smell? It’s my fart.
Haha!
my 5 years old is obsessed with storybots in netflix, he’s been watching it over and over again days and nights. a few weeks back when he was playing with his cousin, he fell off on a dirt and hurt himself. he was sobbing that he got hurt, and i tried to comfort him, “it hurts but it will heal. your body is strong enough to heal itself, it just takes time”. and suddenly his mood changed and his crying turned into, “oh yeah you’re right. can you check it for me mom, is it t cell or b cell that helps our wounds heal faster?”. and i was left puzzled there and ended up googling what he’s talking about. oh well, i’ve got one little smartypants here