Relationships

Um, Literally What Do You Talk About With the Person You Live With?

The other day, I was chatting with a school mom, who told me that her husband had started heading into work at an empty office. At first, she said, she was bummed because she wanted his help with the kids at home, but she realized it was worth it for one important reason…

“We now have something to talk about in the evenings,” she told me, the thrill of excitement in her voice. “Like, if he goes on the subway or, maybe, sees a bird…”

It made me laugh so much because the same is true in our apartment. Since we’re not seeing people or doing much outside of the house, we don’t have much to report at the end of each day. We still talk all the time, but our conversation topics have become increasingly (and hilariously) random.

For example, Alex and I have started describing our dreams to each other (“So, it was our house but not like our house…”), and last night I showed him how if I pull my right hand with my left hand, my right wrist will crack. Then I made him wait until I did it enough times for it to work.

So, I’m curious: Are you the same? What are you talking about these days with your roommates or significant others or parents or whomever you are living with? Are you heading into random territory? If you are craving conversation starters, here’s a post we did (pre-pandemic!) about 12 questions to ask your significant other at dinner. Or are you living alone? Or do you leave the house for work or other reasons? I’d love to hear…

P.S. Conversation starters in the winter, and 8 things I’ve learned about marriage.

  1. Katt says...

    Last week I was in person at work all week as we (safely, following strict WA COVID protocols) recorded a musical. It was so much fun to come home and tell my partner all about it! He’s also gone in to work more recently, so it’s been fun asking him about his work day when he gets home.
    I’m an introvert and he’s an extrovert. We mostly spend time with just us and our pup, but we definitely miss friends. I’m thankful I’ve been working from home for the past year with someone I really enjoy talking with.

  2. Nancey Carroll says...

    I love this, I tell my cat Max I love him every 10 minutes and then like to tell him how wonderful he smells, I feel it helps his self esteem. I tell him ‘you smell like a toasted marshmallow today my love’ and he purrs. Sometimes he smells like a brand new bag of new potatoes, or a mint julep. He loves it! I also like to call him Mamacita even though he’s a boy, I feel he doesn’t mind.

    • Molly says...

      Ohmygosh, I love this so much!! Pets are the best. xo

    • Molly says...

      p.s. I’m literally laughing out loud! You’re hilarious & I love it so much. :)

  3. I’ve started asking a lot of “what’s your favorite” type questions or just random scenario questions. Recent example: “If you could only eat one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be?” His answer was ice cream and mine was donuts. Is this a sign of my husband and I finally cracking after a year of each other’s company? Or are these the sweet little exchanges life is made of?

  4. katie says...

    I think I torture my husband because I have a constant demand for “chit-chats” and he is by nature very quiet. But I talk about everything with him! He knows the ins-and-outs of everything at work, all the “daycare gossip” surrounding our nine-month old, every conversation I have with my parents or friends, the podcasts and books I’m taking in, and even the new behaviors and developments of my plants! We’ve also taken to playing board games a few nights a week so we can talk trash about that and I’m addicted to my buy-nothing group so that’s become a new hobby to discuss.

  5. Megan says...

    Well we just debated about what kind of drunk we are… we don’t get drunk often but kinda thinking how we are when we are drunk may say something deeper about our personalities. I am happy, fun, and always end up super tired ;)

  6. Lauren says...

    I have started to verbalize a lot of the thoughts that come into my head. My poor husband. He just stays silent…

  7. Denise says...

    I am the only human in my apartment but I’ve been doing extra extra little kitty talk, including making up new lyrics to sappy love ballads. (Air Supply) Making Fuzz, out of nothing at all. (Whitney Houston) You’re every Kitty, it’s all in you. Anything you want now kitty, I’ll do it naturally. (Minnie Riperton) Loving you, is easy cuz you’re fuzzzzy. La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la.

    • Chris says...

      I am smiling so hard! I do this with my kitty as well! Any song can be tailored to be serenaded to my cat. :)

    • CB says...

      You just gave me the best laugh! I do this with my dog but am not nearly as lyrically talented 🤣❤️

  8. Angela says...

    I’ve been taking notes on this question. We chat about the kids and laugh at them behind hands, trying not to break when they do something hilarious, but bad. Musings on what’s “too much pot.” We correct each other’s parenting approach. About our families, his idiotic brother and my baby sister. About things my therapist says. He talks incessantly about wine making and his new interest in day trading. #thanksgamestop Judgments of other’s pandemic philosophies. And then about once a week I blow my top, because the weight of all I’m resentfully carrying is too.damn.much. Rinse and repeat

  9. Ellen Pedraza says...

    My husband and I started narrating and naming our farts. The other day, after hearing something choleric from afar, I said that sounded like an animal trying to burrow towards safety.

    He quickly replied, “I call that the naked mole rat.”

    Who have we become?

    • Hilde says...

      This is hilarious, made my day!

  10. margaret says...

    So two nights ago my husband tries to introduce a new topic of conversation as we’re finishing our wine after dinner: If you could sit next to any pop celebrity on a long airplane ride, who would it be? And he caveats that it can’t be a historian (this is because I am into history and politics, not pop culture, and he doesn’t want me to bore him to death). I try to play along for a bit, but good god, I really don’t care that much about pop culture. So I eventually forget his ground rules and suggest Robert Caro and he grumps, so I change the subject but, unfortunately, chose to talk about this article I’d read about slave narratives, and he grumps some more. Anyways, we ended up in stupid argument. We’re going to steer clear of pop culture and history for a few weeks, I think, ha ha.

    • Sara-Lynn says...

      This is so true! I remember getting excited one day when I went for a walk and the neighbours were putting up Christmas decorations just so I would have something to tell my husband. My work (as a counsellor) is confidential so I can’t always share, and my husband is doing his MA in Theology, and I can only handle so much listening to him and his big words haha. We look forward to night when This is Us is on because it gives us a discussion topic.

  11. Hilary says...

    These are cracking me up this morning!

    I work from home and am newly off mat leave. We have 2 kids – a 4 year old and a 12-week old. My husband is a scientist who goes into his sterile lab periodically. Last night, tired from a long week and both (apparently) with energy to burn, we got into the most hilarious, spirited fight about how I’m jealous he has somewhere to go, while he tried to explain that he doesn’t enjoy it because he’s worried about how we’re faring at home. Both valid points but we ended up laugh-yelling at each other about it for ten mins.

    So I guess it seems like what we talk about are weird petty issues that would only crop up right now, in a pandemic. OH THE JOY.

  12. L says...

    We’re looking at buying a new furnace so there’s been lots of exciting furnace talk lately.

  13. Julee says...

    We don’t talk about the future, since the pandemic. It keeps us grounded and focused and me from spiraling.
    We talk about our kids (we have a bunch), music- were both musicians- books- feelings- ugh I’m a talker, he’s not, but this past year we are comfortable “sharing” .
    Just fun random things that keep us tethered to the here and now.
    But also lots of dramatic, scream-y,
    “Who’s putting the baby to bed/changing the diaper/ doing SwimTeam drop-off” stuff as well.
    He and I have become very close.

  14. Laura says...

    We live on a corner property with lots of windows so we have a good view of our street in the mornings. We’ve become very attuned to the comings and goings of our neighbors and neighborhood:
    “There goes Tuck (a dog) for his morning walk! Must be 8:30!” (looks at watch and nods that it is, in fact, roughly 8:30)
    “School Bus!”
    “Garbage Truck!”
    “Haven’t seen Running Lady (our neighbor who used to run by with her french bulldogs) in a while, I wonder if she’s a snowbird in Florida for the Winter. Are people still doing that?”
    “Ooh, Business Man (our neighbor who used to walk his dog every morning in a suit) shaved his beard and got a haircut, I wonder if he’s going back into the office soon.”

    • Sarah K says...

      I think you are my soulmate. I love watching the neighborhood too.

    • Angela says...

      My husband and I also talk about what we see from our window or while walking the dog. haha!

    • Rebecca says...

      I’m laughing so hard!
      we live on a corner and do the same thing!!!

    • Barb says...

      This is wholesome with a touch of cheeky. We could be friends.

  15. Loula says...

    Food! It is the main subject of nearly every conversation in this house!
    We switched to plant based at the beginning of the pandemic so the first few months there was a lot to discuss around recipes, techniques, ordering specific ingredients etc. and it just kind of carried on… and it feels now that food is our topic.

  16. Megan says...

    We got a pandemic puppy (although we had been looking for a rescue before the pandemic).
    We spend an absurd amount of time talking for the puppy.
    “Die, bone!” “Die cardboard box!” “I like bed. Bed is delicious.”
    “I need to sleep now, I promise I won’t steal your napkin again tomorrow.”

    • Eva says...

      This!! We got a kitten in the summer (well now he’s a cat (: ) and we probably spend 40% of our evenings staring at him and talking about how cute he is, how agile he is, how capable he is.

      And we love to voice what we think he’s thinking, “If I had known these humans would be so obsessed with me, I would’ve asked God to make me less cute.” Were obsessed with him <3

    • silly lily says...

      We got a pandemic grandson! He’s number six, which means, for the sixth time (in seven years) I have fallen madly in love all over again. Highly recommended.

    • janine says...

      Hahaha, we’ve had a dog for almost 4 years, but we talk “as” the dog alllll the time. The dog has a very specific voice. Me, my husband, and our son all do it.

  17. Lauren E. says...

    Between being 13 weeks pregnant, starting a new job where I’m half remote/half in the office, moving into a new apartment 2 weeks ago, being on deadline for a book, and dealing with a 6 week old rescue puppy, my husband and I have too MUCH to talk about. I think we’re both overwhelmed. It would be a lot to deal with all this under normal circumstances but throw in a pesky pandemic and our heads spin. When we finally have down time, we just watch 90 Day Fiance :)

  18. Linda says...

    Husband and I are having a tough time these days. Sometimes, I feel so awful, my stomach turns into a big knot and tears burst out of my eyes.
    Right before lockdown in March last year, we had been having a rough time. Our first lockdown (March-May last year), was a wonderful time for us. That meaning that it seemed we grew back together; I was feeling well mentally and our kid was thriving not having to go to school. Husband and I had so much fun and laughs and I even caught myself looking ‘in love’ in a selfie photo I took of us.

    This latest lockdown has been so so hard on me. I have been unable to find a rhythm, structure and really… myself. Husband and I have had some awful fights verbally. Right now I am at the point where I don’t know if we should continue together.
    On a daily basis, things are ok.
    But on all the bigger things in life, I am unhappy. I want to travel (after Covid), husband doesn’t. I want to have a pet, husband doesn’t. I want to change jobs, husband doesn’t think I should. I would love more family time together, husband works. Like all the things I long for are non-negotiable. These issues have been going on for years and years but it seems that sometimes, I just can’t cope with it anymore.

    • Kate says...

      I‘m so sorry! This is hard. I don‘t have any advice to offer, but I send empathy across the internet. I think you aren’t alone with these problems.

    • Jamie says...

      Not much to say other than I am in the same boat with my partner. I am not sure I can carry on either. Warmth to you

    • Lauren E. says...

      I’m so sorry, Linda. Sending you lots of positivity and the hope that you find the clarity you seek.

    • Ashley says...

      Wow, marriage to me is about meeting halfway! Maybe you can travel with girlfriends ?

      Do you know why he might not want a furry companion? Is it the extra responsibility, expenses, etc?

      Sorry to hear you’re not finding that common ground right now.

    • Jenn says...

      You are not alone in feeling that way. I have recently thought that the lack of other outside activities/ distractions ( friends, co-workers, social hobbies) right now are making life less balanced and are therefore amplifying conflict at home. Hoping we all move closer to our pre covid lives soon.

    • Jody says...

      Hi Linda. I am hearing you. I left my husband of 18 years a few months into COVID. Please know, you are allowed to leave. You are allowed to be happy. You are even allowed to leave a good man. You are allowed to want more from your life. I told my two daughters that I want only one thing for them and that was that I wanted them to be their true selves, to never disappoint themselves for the comfort of others. That this was going to be hard and it was going to hurt but that I was showing them how to do this thing I want so desperately for them. It is hard and it does hurt, he’s a good man and I love him. However, I have been true to what my heart KNOWS and you know too. I suspect this will become the greatest gift I’ve ever given myself and my children. You are allowed to leave xxxxx

    • margaret says...

      Linda, my heart really goes out to you. I just want to offer this if you want to take it (with the caveat that I obviously don’t know your situation and may be way off base): You deserve to have the life you want. Marriage requires compromise, of course, we all give up some things, even important things. But you shouldn’t have to give up all the things that are important to the life you want, including sharing it with someone who wants you to have the things that are important to the life you want. Anyways, if that’s the encouragement you want, I wanted to put it out there. Wishing good things for you.

    • Marjolein says...

      So sorry for you! Hope the tide will turn eventually, or you will have the courage to decide what is best for you. Everybody deserves a happy life.
      Alas there is much which I recognise from my own life and I didn’t find my courage so far. The longer the pandemic and the at-home time lasts, the more frustated I become. I can’t even think about the reason why we want to be together in the first place anymore.

    • Nancey says...

      I am so sorry, life can be so tough, but it does change, it always changes, please know that. I will say what others are saying – it’s always ok to leave. I have left, and i have been left, I have found happiness on the other side. I am sending you love and support. Reading ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ by Cheryl Strayed has always helped me make decisions. no matter what the subject.

  19. Jamie says...

    My soon to be 11 year old son now only speaks in Minecraft. I try to keep up, but I have no idea what “crit”, or “hot potatoes”, or “expansion passes” are, so I smile and nod and try to throw in a word like “netherite shield” (I don’t know what that is either) to try and show that I am interested and listening. It’s exhausting, but he get’s so excited. I have no idea how my husband is lucky enough to escape the onslaught.

    • janine says...

      Ha, I have a 10 year old boy who is also obsessed with Minecraft. Solidarity!

    • Maiz says...

      This is my life, too, with three mini-Minecrafters in the house. My best friend from college and I keep texting each other their baffling lingo:
      My friend writes, “Can you god-bridge?”
      And I reply, “Nope. Didja’ know that Bdubs dinnerboned Jellie?”

  20. elly says...

    We have been watching a lot of Below Deck so we discuss the meals we would request our yacht chefs to prepare for us and what we would put on our preference sheets (food and beverage likes, dislikes, allergies, etc) should we ever decide to spend 100k to charter a yacht.

  21. Emily Dodge says...

    Our son loves the Toy Story movies, and let’s just say.. we watch them a lot right now. A few months back, we started googling random plot holes or things that aren’t explained, and needless to say we probably now know more about the franchise than the people who actually work at Pixar. Yesterday we were debating (very seriously) about whether or not Buzz actually looks like he’s almost 12″ tall which is what the internet is telling us. We kept pausing it and saying things like, “LOOK, he’s standing next to Mr. Potato Head and he looks about 3” taller, ok, let me google “how tall is the original Mr. Potato Head.” I am pro-He looks 12″ tall and my husband thinks he’s 8″ tall. I mean… this is just the tip of the iceberg. Hahahah never thought my idea of a good time would be debating with/sharing insider tips and trivia about Toy Story, but I have to say, it’s kind of fun. LOL!!

    • Lauren says...

      this is adorable! you sound like cute, fun parents :)

    • Laura says...

      My husband and I are perfecting the voices of the characters in our 2 year old daughter’s favorite books and movies. Winnie the Pooh has a surprisingly difficult accent to nail down. It’s a weird mix of like, Southern and British and varies a little from movie to movie. I’ve got Tigger on lock though. My husband does a pretty good Buzz Lightyear, and I’ve decided that Mr. and Mrs. Potato head sound like the Costanzas from Seinfeld…. My daughter is not at all entertained by this, but we get a real kick out of it.

  22. C says...

    We read to/with each other! My twin sister and I moved in together to ride out the pandemic. We already talked most every day, but now that we’re actually in the house together all the time, the things in the don’t-do-this-without-me category have expanded. So we have podcasts (The Daily, Nat Geo’s Overheard, or Personal Best, which is incredible), shows and a list of movies to watch, etc. But the most enriching addition conversation-wise has been reading together. We pick a book (so far, only nonfiction, mostly histories because they’re great narratives) and will take turns reading aloud while the other makes dinner or lunch, or we have the book with dessert. We also get the NYT on the weekends and read little excerpts of interesting articles to each other (when we lived in different states, I would call to read her the Metropolitan Diary every Sunday, so this is a version of that). We try out a lot of different reading material—I’m a college professor so sometimes I’ll just read her what I’ve assigned for class. I highly recommend it! There’s tons to talk about; you’re both learning new things; it’s motivating to work on finishing a book together; it’s fun to google things along the way, to commiserate about what parts are dull or interesting; you don’t have to both bring the same level of energy or focus if the day has been depleting for you; and you never run out of stories to tell—just start a new book!

    • miranda says...

      ugh this is my dream…
      1) have a twin.
      2) who’s a girl.
      3) who likes everything I do.
      4) who lives in me.
      5) bonus points if she will sleep in my bed.
      6) extra bonus points if she’s my size in clothes shoes and bras.

      boyfriend can get lost.

    • Kate says...

      This would be my dream! You’re lucky! Unfortunately, my husband hates it if I only so much as read single sentences from an article out aloud to him, and there aren‘t really any books anymore that we both want to read and could then at least talk about afterwards. Our interest have drifted apart too much – so sad.

  23. My husband just walked the (pretend) runway through the living room in his sexy new joggers…I provide Andre Leon-esque feedback….so we are VERY busy. He does a good MAGMA. (remember Zoolander?) I’ve posted about 100 comments on this blog today so clearly I’m killing my to do list. (To do list – hahhahhahaaa)

    • Ashley says...

      Sounds like a blast 🤠

    • sara says...

      haha I love this! silliness is key right now, if you’re able to tap into that. my husband’s also a goofball and our silly dancing, singing, puns, etc. have definitely made quarantine/pandemic life easier. it’s still been a struggle for sure but I can’t imagine how much harder life would feel right now if I didn’t have a partner with an amazing sense of humor.

  24. Michelle G says...

    I’ve always been very sing-songy. I will unabashedly hum or sing to myself while cleaning or cooking, often at the peril of being lovingly teased by my partner. What’s funny is, now he does it too! We often will come up with random songs about what we are doing or cooking, usually to the tune of a famous song. Over the holidays I made a whole song about babka to the tune of Santa Baby (expertly renamed Babka Baby I might add). I think this time together has taught us both that sometimes you just have to embrace the weird!

    • Agnès says...

      Now I know another family who does that, just like us! we’re other bizarre people who talk to each other singing and have songs for many things. I have to say that I have been obsessed with the movie Les demoiselles de Rochefort, by Demy, since for ever.

  25. CB says...

    Ha, I so relate to this. I read recently that the way couples grow is to separate, experience things [growth], then coming back together to connect and share. When we do this, we show we care about each other’s growth, and then get like a cheat code, picking up some of their own learnings. In the pandemic, we lost most of that natural separation, so we’ve had to look for it in things we read, or in small separate excursions we encourage each other to go on and grill each other on afterwards–how was the coffee shop? Were people wearing masks? Did the pastries look good? Were there any cute dogs outside? I think the solve is just being aware of it and making sure when your partner makes “bids for connection” you lean into them.

    • Emma says...

      This is so fascinating and makes so much sense! I started dating my boyfriend during the pandemic in October and we see each other 2-3x a week. I was at the dentist the other day and my hygienist said “oh you’re so lucky you get to go to HIS house…and then he comes to YOUR house! and you get dressed up! never get married haha.” It was so interesting to imagine what marriage has been like during this time. The days apart do always make each time we see each other sweeter, and it seems like we always have so much to talk about (even though there’s nothing going on!).

  26. Annie says...

    I honestly just anything lol. Politics, video games, memes, home design, the future, our dog’s breath, Ted Lasso, Maine Cabin Masters, our friends, the pandemic, how we need to exercise more, and also nothing.

    • Sage says...

      “How we need to exercise more,” hahaha yup!!

  27. Andrea says...

    What everyone is talking about—how excited our cats will be with their St. Valentine’s gifts!

  28. martini says...

    The Impeachment Hearing

  29. S. says...

    We’ve reached a point where Charles II of Spain’s family tree lasted us a whole evening. So many uncle/nieces marriages. We were freaking out!

    • Mindi says...

      Oh my gosh, El Hechizado!! This was a topic of our early pandemic. I went down a real rabbit hole and bored the snot out of my husband one evening. Hah!

    • Oh, we talked about Cleopatra’s family tree one evening in last summer!

  30. Agnès says...

    Mmm good question; pandemic or not, we talk about politics, A LOT. Right now, it’s more about US politics (the impeachment) but also a lot about french politics and what laws are being discussed right now, etc. We love to watch the debates at the Senate, it is so complex and interesting. We talk about the books we read, our child, and also, a lot about FOOD. Whar are we going to cook? who’s cooking? who is going to the market (me please)? I have never cooked in my life but since january I can’t stop myself and I am loving it (lots of spices to grind, I feel I’m a magician). But also, I need silence, A LOT.

  31. Joanna T. says...

    One conversation yesterday:
    “I got the mail.”
    “You did? I thought you got the mail this morning.”
    “Nope. Well I think I wanted to but then I didn’t get to.”
    “Oh, that’s what I must have heard. That you wanted to get the mail. But then you didn’t.”
    “Yeah.”

    Sometimes it’s fun, like when my husband re-enacts things that the kids did, he does really hilarious impressions of our second-born who is two and half. And now my husband does hilarious impressions of the two guinea pigs we’re taking care of this month.

    But when the kids have just gone down I don’t want to talk to anyone, not even my husband, for like an hour at least, but sometimes he can’t get the hint because he’s been waiting all day for it to be quiet enough to talk to me and he’s so excited and I’m the opposite, I’m so done right now and he knows it but he still does it and it will be something like “I want to back this cool thing on Kickstarter let me show you” or “So the interesting thing about the GameStop stock today…” and I’m nodding and slowly slowly inching my way backwards out of the office because oh my gosh I love you and love that you want to talk to me but for the love of God can’t you see that I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care right now please just let me go downstairs.

    • Hahahahahahahahahaha – I have had the same conversation with my husband – hahahahaha. Sequel to You’ve Got Mail…Did You Get The Mail.?..a quarentine couch love story.

    • Lex says...

      Hahaha this is exactly how I feel in the first hour of waking up – my husband is ready to talk talk talk about his dreams, what we’re having for dinner, the agenda for the day, what he has to do for work…etc etc and all I want is… silence. And coffee.

    • Lauren E. says...

      I am cracking up.

      Husband: Did you check the mail?
      Me: I checked it the last time I went out.
      Two hours later…
      Husband: Did you check the mail?
      Me: It wouldn’t have come in the afternoon.
      Husband: Sometimes it does!

      Or,
      Husband: Did you check the mail?
      Me: You JUST asked me that!
      Husband: And what did you say?

      God help us. A year in quarantine is a REALLY long time.

    • Sara says...

      This. This. This. Hahaha. I really really needed that lol (is that still something people say? Well I guess so since I just said it!)

    • Laura says...

      hahaha the varying needs for companionship and communication within a couple can be tricky to navigate. I still go to work on a regular basis and I have a very people-intense job. Then I come home and do the dinner/bedtime whirlwind with our toddler so after she goes to bed I’m like ahhh, some peace and quiet, just let me do some mindless scrolling before passing out (I’m also 34 weeks pregnant). My husband who works from home always wants to chat and play board games and I feel so bad but please just leave me alone. Tonight he had some more work to do and apologized like 5 times and I was doing a secret happy dance.

    • Jessica says...

      The mail discussions are making me laugh so much – now that you all mention it, my husband is constantly asking me about the mail and I don’t get it. Like, just check. Hahahah

  32. T says...

    I started working from an empty office and my husband is home with our baby. While she sleeps, he watches Homeland and in the evenings I join him, but before we start, we have a briefing what happened while I was away. Weirdly, we’re more excited about the briefing (and it takes longer too), than the actual series (which is amazing!).

    • Brianna says...

      This is really cute! I love it!

  33. Hanh Vu says...

    We have never ran out of things to talk about. Currently, we talk about each other’s family and how we long for closer connections but no one is available or interested, we talk about our kids and whether we’re handling things in the best ways for them, we talk about where we would want to live now that we could live just about anywhere, we talk about our work issues we’re trying to over come, day dream together about having a dog, home renovation project we want to do, the next car we’re going to by, refactoring our finances, philosophy, politics, health, etc… I can go on and on.

    If anything I feel like we don’t have enough time to talk. We do get tired of talking and go do our own things sometimes in the evenings. But when we’re together, the conversations do not seem to run dry. We’ve been together for 19 years.

    • Julee says...

      This sounds like my husband and I, in a way.
      We long for closer connections as well, and come up dry (like we want “our village” but nobody seems to be looking?) with friends and family.
      Anyway, you and your husband sound close.
      Congrats on 19 years!!!!

  34. Alyssa says...

    We describe the books that we are reading in a stupid amount of detail. Like, I might as well have read the book that he just finished.

    • hahahahhahahha

    • Lais says...

      hhahah

  35. Nicole says...

    You know the screensaver that plays on Netflix when you aren’t watching anything? It pans over still images from tv shows and movies that are available to stream, with the title of the show and 3 words about it. And every time it’s going, you’re kind of in a mode of extreme passivity? Our new game is watching the image together, and after a couple seconds, one person says “close your eyes”. The other person closes their eyes and is asked a question about something on the screen (e.g., how many people on the screen are wearing hats, what was the time showing on the clock, what piece of furniture is visible in the background). Each round lasts 10 seconds because then the image on the screensaver changes. If neither person can think of a good quiz question, we just both stare at the image until it changes. So when you’re looking at the screen, you’re trying to quickly identify a question to ask about it, but you’re also trying to memorize it in case the other person thinks of a question before you do and tells you to close your eyes.

    This game isn’t the most fun thing ever, but it passes the time, and requires no energy. It’s the thing to do when you’re too lazy to even reach for the remote.

    • That actually does sound fun.

    • Jill says...

      HAHAHAHAHAHA.
      This is hilarious and VERY creative Nicole.

    • Chelsea says...

      So I actually got tested last weekend for ADHD after relating to the article a couple weeks ago and I feel like this could have been one of the tests. Ha!

    • hahahahahhahaaa

  36. Asha says...

    My husband has worked from home for years (the life of a German-English translator!) and not much as changed there. But since the kids and I have been home all the time, there is little we have to share with him. I realize now he actually looked forward to hearing our daily interactions and adventurers. Being an introvert he was content listening to our days versus sharing his… although he sometimes likes to vent about work. Sadly, it might be only someone else in that field finds his work interesting. Is there a translators support group out there? :)

    • Jimena says...

      I’m a translator too and it’s always amusing to talk to my partner about my work. At tines I’m frustrated with the working conditions (translation is usually underpayed), but also I’m very passionate about translating and sometimes I encounter little translation “problems” that are truly fascinating (to me, that is! although he always listens and even appears interested).

  37. Natasha says...

    My husband and our 8 and 13 year old daughters spend a lot of Covid time talking about trips we have taken. We get really specific sometimes, and talk about certain meals, discuss the merits and demerits of places we’ve stayed, and they tell us everything they remember about old friends that I’ve introduced them to on our travels. Thank goodness they are old enough to remember and contribute, because it helps my husband and me remember and appreciate things we would have forgotten. And it makes us all feel close to reminisce together.

  38. Laura says...

    I’m in a really tricky moment in my marriage where I have an 8-week-old and my husband is in the middle of/entering the biggest moment of his career. This means he eat/sleeps/talks about nothing but work. I, on the other hand, have a new baby and am suffering from postpartum rage (It’s a thing) and have nothing to talk about that would interest him at this time. I’m glad he’s an entrepreneur and can follow his passion, but I long for the old accountant who used to come home and be excited to see me because he missed me. He left work at the office door. There are two babies in this house– his, and ours.

    • Le says...

      Oh, Laura. I went through some similar feelings after our first was born. And 8 weeks; that is a hard but wonderful but hard time just on its own. It won’t always be like this. Hang in there. Hugs…

    • Julia says...

      Good luck to you! I hope you feel more content soon; your situation sounds quite tiring.

    • Blandine says...

      Hi Laura, this is really rough on many accounts. Sending you a lot of strength.

    • Christina says...

      Ugh, I started the pandemic with a nine-week-old. And after travelling across the world with her and my husband to see my family in Canada (we live in Australia) we all have to quarantine together for two weeks. It’s hard on a relationship with a newborn period. Harder during a pandemic. Even harder when your partner is work obsessed and you’re getting through each day with a baby, let alone with postpartum rage. I’m thinking of you.

    • Angela says...

      Ugh. Laura. That’s is really really really hard. You are doing a great job caring for your baby. I hope the tide shifts soon.

    • Loesie says...

      As a wife of an entrepreneur, I might understand how you’re feeling. It can be really tough sometimes.
      Sending you much love.

    • Emily says...

      That sounds so hard Laura. My heart goes out to you.

    • Anna says...

      Solidarity Laura! The hardest period in my marriage was when I was on maternity leave after our third was born – my world shrunk to the house and kids and he had just started a new job and had so many ideas and stories. I realized that for our relationship to work we need the balance of both of us working outside the home / having our own projects. As the kids get older and more independent it is getting easier. Hang in there!

    • Jenica says...

      Laura, I read this and felt my heart escape my chest for a moment. The mix of emotions you are feeling is palpable. Sending you love and strength to get through this trying time.

    • Sarah says...

      Mom of four…I’m holding space for you. Nothing is easy about the things you’re going through. That’s all, just wanted to say: I see you.

    • Lisa says...

      Laura, I hear you. Whilst my situation wasn’t exactly the same, I really struggled with being home with my first born whilst my husband was out being interesting and successful at work. My mantra was ‘this too shall pass’ and it did. It’s true what they say, the days are long but the years are short. You are doing an amazing job, hang in there. Sending love from the U.K.

    • Nancey says...

      It’s SO hard, I remember. I think back to the time I was home with a 3 week old and my Husband left to go to the lumber yard and as his truck was leaving the driveway I thought ‘why does HE get to go to the lumber yard? I want to go to the lumber yard’ said no one ever. and I cried. It was hard every minute. I remember someone saying to get outside and walk with the baby, walk and walk, and we did, chilly, cold, warm, lukewarm, windy, we walked and walked, walked until she slept and I had blisters. coming home to put her down for a nap, then a bath. I thought I’d never get through it. I did, you will. It’s not easy. And now she’s 16 and I would give anything anything anything for those days because I miss her so much.

  39. Sadie says...

    I’ve started telling my partner the plots of the book I’m reading. Pre-pandemic if he asked about what I was reading, I’d keep it very brief but now I just dive in. Last night I finished the Guest List by Lucy Foley and I got him really, really confused with just how many people wanted one character dead.

    • Sadie says...

      Also, dog videos…when we run out of things to say my Instagram discover page is 80% dog videos and there is a never ending supply for us to watch together.

    • Julie says...

      Haha! I read that book last month and my husband was thoroughly confused.

  40. Whitney Olson says...

    My husband worked from home before Covid and WE LOVE IT! We have always been super big on talking to one another so we’ve got it down and we talk about EVERYTHING. We find each other hilarious and intelligent and our conversations go all over the place. He just took a new job and, for the time being, it is remote, but he is already in talks to keep his whole team remote because we dread the day we don’t see each other 24/7.

    P.S. we have healthy separate time doing our own things AND 4 kids. We just like each other best.

    • jdp says...

      love this! it’s one of the best parts of our marriage, too! i’m always interested to hear what he will say next….

    • Shannon says...

      I love “we just like each other best.”. That’s exactly how i feel about my husband!

  41. Elizabeth says...

    This is so funny because I feel like my husband and I are having more bizarre discussions every day. The other day we decided the biggest way to strike it rich was to create a service/product for dogs because people are (understandably) obsessed with them. Our ideas included Airbnb but for dogs, a multi-use enrichment toy (still have no idea what that would even include), and a shower/tent that you could hook up to a hose to bathe your dog. There has been absolutely no follow through on any of these ideas.

    • Alexandra says...

      My husband and I have LOTS of conversations about businesses we’ll never start, in part because he randomly searches Craigslist for businesses that are for sale. “Do you want to buy a rundown tavern in Tiny Town, America? How about a historic hotel that is definitely haunted? We could live there!” Last night we had a long conversation about whether it was feasible for us to sell everything and buy a 15 acre operating berry farm. And when that fails, we go back to our never-ending conversation: how to survive a zombie apocalypse.

    • Susan says...

      Make sure you patent these so no one steals them via cup of jo 😂😂😂 LOL! I love creating these ideas. I want to make a food truck called “quesa DÍA” where it’s a different quesadilla everyday.

    • Oh gosh. My husband and I do work together – he and his best friend started a brewery 5 years ago and I came on board two years ago. And let me tell you! Working together is something else.
      We used to talk about work at home a lot, but now thankfully we’ve gotten mostly away from that. There are definitely still times I wake him up with a question about something or we fall asleep talking about inventory or something.
      The best thing about it though is how he knows exactly how valuable I am in the workplace and really respects and admires me for everything I do. I feel so seen and appreciated!

    • Jill says...

      Hahaha!!! “There has been absolutely no follow through on any of these ideas”.

  42. Anna says...

    My boyfriend and I met six months ago, mid-COVID, so our long dinner conversations are winding and fresh, even as we discuss our family backgrounds, values and dreams. It’s a sweet phase to be in.

  43. Jena says...

    We mostly talk about all of my daydreams of redesigning various parts of the house. Who knows when/if we will ever get to it, but fun to talk about and make fake decisions.

    One night, though, my husband was having trouble falling asleep. So while I rubbed his back, I calmly and in excruciating detail, described the file/folder/organization system for my firm’s shared server. 😂
    It worked!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahahaha LOVE that sleep technique.

    • Valeria says...

      Hahah, I know! It totally works! I always have, just in case, a few topics I want to say things about and little everyday facts I like to tell that just don’t need actual listening or require answers. So we are both happy: I can talk as much as I want and he can fall asleep listening to just the sound of my voice.

    • Christine says...

      Your sleep therapy method made me cackle at work! :)

    • Tracy says...

      This is so great 😂😂😂

      when I couldn’t fall asleep one night, my dear husband, in great detail, whispered into my ear each and every Arsenal soccer player and his stats/personal life/etc. And it WORKED.

    • Sarah says...

      My fall to sleep trick is that I envision myself making peanut butter sandwiches for a crowd (which I do often as a mom). I think through each step: pull two pieces of bread from the bag. Place them on the cutting board. Pick up the knife. Put it into the peanut butter. Etc., and then I make more sandwiches. I’m usually so bored by this that I fall asleep by the sixth sandwich.

  44. S Kay says...

    hahahaha I LOVE This post and the comments.

    For my partner and I, we go through waves. Some weeks we are feeling really in sync, having a great time just hanging out and cocooning with each other. It reminds me of how fun it is to live with my best friend. We just get silly, talk in embarrassing voices we only use with each other.
    But there are some weeks when one or both of us is feeling restless, and it can be hard – feeling bored, trapped, wanting the other person to do something exciting or new. Getting on each other’s nerves.

    This week we were talking about Valentine’s day, and the long weekend, and I ask my partner what’s something romantic we could do, and he says “Want to be crazy? We could hold hands and take out the old, dry, Christmas tree”
    I couldn’t stop laughing.

    • Katie says...

      Haha that’s great! And yeah, I feel the same way. Sometimes it’s so fun and other times, it’s hard. But overall, I’m grateful that I have someone here with me.

  45. Emma says...

    ALL MY HUSBAND AND I TALK ABOUT ANYMORE OVER DINNER ARE OUR TWO CATS.

    (to the cats credit, they are the cutest, sweets cats in the whole world)

    • Quinn says...

      This! :D

    • Emily says...

      Love this…I can relate! :-)

    • LL says...

      SAME, but one cat.

    • Tracy says...

      Yep!!! Thank god for the cat.

    • Nancey Carroll says...

      Us Too!!! but honestly mostly me and he listens.

  46. Sophia F. says...

    This is going to sound unhinged, but whatever: our COVID cabin fever has gotten to the point where our entire family (myself, husband, daughters 7 and 5) have started playing two conversational games. The first is Sell Me Something, where one person will ask two others to pitch the best version of a product, real or imaginary (my seven-year-old pitched a frozen pizza that came with toppings bagged separately in the box, so if one person wanted pepperoni and mushrooms and one person wanted sausage and peppers you could distribute them on each half, and I think it’s GENIUS). The other game is an extreme version of Would You Rather, and the other night we spent nearly forty minutes mulling “would you rather poop gold or barf diamonds,” complete with discussion of commodity devaluation, difficulty of reselling your “product,” possible consequences for personal safety… It was hilarious.

    • S Kay says...

      Sophia – this is GOLD. Also – DiGiornos… if you are reading this, you better give Sophia F’s 7 year old credit for her incredible pizza idea…
      I love the idea of improvising and using creativity. So fun – and seems enthralling for any age :)

    • Ivy says...

      DEAD. “Poop gold or barf diamonds.”

    • Marie says...

      Sophia – My son and I just played your “would you rather” question. At first he looked at me like I was nuts but man did we get in to it! Thanks for the super funny suggestion!

    • Laura says...

      Poop gold for sure! Even though diamonds are more valuable, who wants to vomit on a regular basis??

  47. Lisa says...

    Our nanny is going to have to bring her cat over the next few weeks as he has been on his own for a few days and is freaking out. He’s a special breed so now we are talking about different cat breeds, weighing up their relative merits. It’s great! Normally we discuss our kids, work, what to eat for dinner so this is a welcome distraction.

  48. Valentina says...

    We’re about to move (2 weeks left! nothing packed yet!) to another city, 1.000 km away from where we live now. And we’re finishing the sale of our current place, just bought a piece of land in our new city and are preparing to move to a little cabin while we build our new home… So, we have A LOT to talk…
    We decided all of this during the pandemic, so maybe that was our way to find a topic? Hahahaha

    Wish us luck! And does anyone have any tips to make a big move like this on with 2 little girls? (3 and 6 y/o).

    • Auste says...

      We moved when my girls were 5 and 2, and now (three years later and one little addition to the family) we’re doing a huge renovation to our house. So I’ve been there!
      For moving tips: we got a couple books with moving as the main storyline and read them before bed, talked about our feelings a lot (excited for a new adventure! Sad to leave our friends etc). And then the first thing we did in the new house was unpack the girls room and get them settled. My bedroom and the living room took months, but I made sure the kids were comfortable in their space first.
      For the house building we’ve really gotten the girls involved! They’re 8 and 6 now, and they have OPINIONS! It’s very cute. I don’t let them make big decisions on their own, but I say “here are two tile samples for the kids bathroom! Which one do you like?” It makes them feel important (even if I end up going in a different direction later on). Good luck! It’ll be great!

    • Nicki says...

      That sounds so exciting Valentina!

      I moved (between two countries) last March with my three and five-year old girls. This may sound simple, but my best advice is really to just try to stay positive and go with the flow – if you’re relaxed about it, they will be too. We ended up having to move under a cloud of COVID-drama that resulted them having to leave their old home/babysitter/school/friends/etc at less than 24 hrs notice (and leaving behind their dad for three months). We tried to approach it as an adventure (you’re leaving tomorrow: “you get to go ahead with Mama!”, the two-week quarantine in an AirBnB “ooh, this place has a little balcony, let’s sit and have cookies and watch what’s happening on the street”, no furniture in the new home: “let’s eat dinner on a mat on a floor like we’re having a picnic”). There were definitely days where I cried and I was so stressed my chest hurt, but also….all of those unexpected little details WERE fun, and I found so many things to laugh about.

      Our work requires us to move regularly (every 2-4 years) and I used to think it would be harder with kids, but I have actually learned so much from them. When we moved in 2017, it took nearly two months to get our furniture and I was getting SO tired of not having our stuff. One day (in a bout of day-dreaming) I told my then three-year old, “This is the corner where we are going to put the baby’s changing table when our furniture arrives.” She just looked at me like I was a child myself and gently reminded me, “Mama, we don’t need that – we already have a changing table,” pointing at an old towel that I had spread on the floor next to piles of diapers and wipes. They couldn’t have cared less about the lack of furniture.

      Every kid if different of course, but my experience (with young children) has been that they will take their cues from their parents – if you take it all in stride and just roll with the punches/try to turn them into something fun, they will too.

      Good luck – thinking of you!

    • Valentina says...

      Thank you so much @Nicky and @Auste! I loved your kind comments! Kids really are full of wisdom.
      I have also tried to make them engaged with the new city (“you’ll be able to practice ballet looking at the lake!”) and also make them involved in the new place with little things, for example, they already chose the wallpaper for their new bedroom (sooo cute).

      Thank you again for taking the time to reply! I love this community! A big hug from Chile!

  49. kelly says...

    My husband has always said “we are soul mates” and just a few weeks ago I asked it he thought it was only in this lifetime that we are soul mates or in past lives too. His head about exploded, lol. He looked at me like I was speaking a language he didn’t understand. The idea that we could be from each other’s past lives was just too much, it was adorable. We also talk about poop a lot, it’s so weird.

  50. M says...

    Umm, TMI but my partner and I talk about poop. I work from home and he still goes into the office. There’s loads of things we can talk about at the end of the day, but our go-to conversation is whether we took a shit that day. If so, how good was it? If one of us has had a good shit, and the other is constipated, believe me, there is GLOATING involved.

  51. maria says...

    i know we’re not alone, but it often feels like we’re very much in the minority – my husband and i BOTH are working outside our home during asll this. well, not ALL of it – my company sent us home, paid, for five weeks – and then when they realized it was going to take awhile, furloughed us for five more. i returned to work right after memorial day last year and my husband, as essential personnel, never was off work outside of our staycations.

    i AM thankful we both have our work, and i am happy to not be stuck at home 24/7 . basically, our conversations are the same always as not much has really changed in our day to day EXCEPT – OMG how i miss going to restaurants since cold weather set in!

  52. Kiki says...

    My mom and I are obsessed with “Lost Cities”! Highly recommend – easy to learn and easy to play.

    • Sydni Jackson says...

      This is the best 2-player game! It’s so fast but involves just enough strategy to keep it interesting.

  53. LH says...

    My husband is a doctor in a hospital and I am currently home with a two year old. I ask all about his patients (sans names of course) and if he dares to say that “none of them were that interesting” I make him tell me what he had for lunch instead. :) I read a lot of books and listen to podcasts in part so I have something interesting to contribute to the conversation!

    • Tesia says...

      Yay for podcasts! I’m at home with two littles and my husband is working from home, so at this point we’d be down to discussing diaper contents if it weren’t for podcasts!

  54. Kate says...

    I’m horrified to admit it but honestly, my husband and I talk a lot about poop. I blame our rental which has one bathroom and no fan. There are no secrets. I also blame the pandemic. He works in a hospital and, in August, had some stomach distress that we worried was a symptom of covid. There were at length conversations about his poop, and now it’s just a major topic of conversation. Is this intimacy?

  55. hm says...

    My husband and I forgot to count down to the 2021 new year, because we were doing a deep dive into the difference between Tylenol, Ibuprofen, and Aspirin. Neither of us were in need of a painkiller… we were just curious.

    • I laughed out loud. Literally. Thanks for this 😂

    • M says...

      LOL!!!!

  56. Laura says...

    Last night my husband and I played a game where you ask the other person to name something and they have to answer immediately with whatever they think of first- i.e. “name a type of bug” “ladybug” (except my answer was “blue bug” (?) lol). It cheered us up because some of our answers were so random. Little things like that help keep it interesting around here, especially after we’ve gone through literally every.single.tv.show.and.movie.

  57. JR says...

    My husband describes in excruciatingly intricate detail his plans for a new Dungeons and Dragons storyline (he plays online with friends once a week)… and I describe in excruciating detail how many times I woke up in the middle of the night, my crazy dreams, and what midnight snack I ate (first trimester probs). We need a vacation.

    • Erin says...

      My boyfriend ALSO describes in excruciatingly intricate detail his plans for a new Dungeons and Dragons storyline… but he doesn’t currently have a group to play with, so I’m his audience. To his credit, it’s an exciting psychological thriller-type plot line…. but it’s still D&D and I don’t really care LOL.

      Also, congrats on the pregnancy, JR! :)

    • Ève says...

      Haha D&D campaigns are also an endless source of entertainment at our house :)

  58. Kelsey says...

    I’m a person who goes through phases A LOT. It’s the running joke between my husband and me. Some months I’ll be hyper-focused on saving money. The next month, I’ll be super lenient with money. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with finance accounts on Instagram focusing on investing money for the future. So that’s been a huge topic of conversation.

    We’ve also been talking all about my parents’ divorce. We used to use “your mom” jokes all the time, but they’re on hold right now …

    We’ve also been talking a lot about future plans and dreams. Should we build a house? What’s your dream day like?

    It’s a little all over the map!

    • Bethany says...

      Please share which finance Instagram accounts you follow!

    • Ash says...

      I also go through phases!! I’m on a nutmeg, T Swift, embroidery roll where I embroider in all my free time while listening to T Swift (current fave is Lover) and I also add nutmeg to nearly everything I make. It also happens to be a fun way to mark and remember a certain period of time.

  59. Carol says...

    My husband and I are both working outside the house, thankfully, but I still relate to all of this. Every night as things finally settle down and we plop into bed, he’ll go “So what’s the tea”… which means “Show me all the funny memes you screenshot during the day.” :)

    • Mac says...

      That’s really really sweet. My husband says he doesn’t need a social media account because I already curate and show him the best of the best anyway :)

  60. H says...

    Survival mode over here (work + graduate school + pregnancy + a one year old). Our conversations revolve around which one of us is watching our son, which one of us is able to work, and who is currently chipping away at the mountain of household chores. Our life is joyful and meaningful but what I wouldn’t give for a long leisurely conversation about something fun.

    • J says...

      Thank you for saying this because I thought I was the only one that at the end of a long day of work or “quality time” with the kids has absolutely zero patience for making conversation! You’ll find me in the other room folding laundry, not talking.

  61. K says...

    I often stop to think of the millions of our forebears who, until relatively recently, lived their whole lives the way we are currently living: working entirely from home, educating their children at home, not traveling any real distances, infrequently gathering with those outside of their own households. And there are plenty of people around the globe (and in the US in non-pandemic-times) for whom this is still their basic lifestyle. As a ‘Little House on the Prairie’ fan (books, not TV), my childhood vision of the Ingalls’ evenings was never a panic-stricken lack of conversational topics. Too simplistic, I know, but it does remind me of how much we have turned to the outside world to supply that which fulfills us. This is no judgment – I need as much external stimulation as the next 21st century adult – but it does make me think of what we have lost, including the expectation that living in such a way is enough to contribute to society, without adding full-time employment for a third-party into the mix.

    • Genevieve says...

      I think it’s fairly rare historically and globally for people to have been so cut off from each other as to only gather with those outside their house frequently. I guess you are describing people who work the land but still I think people are more likely to be/have been part of small rural communities than to be totally cut off from other families.

    • Robin says...

      I was thinking about this topic last night, wondering if it’s better that our worlds have gotten bigger, and if we could ever go back to the way it was. I was dreaming about having my entire extended family living in the same region, maybe even in the same town. Farming together, taking care of children and Elders together. We’d use far fewer fossil fuels and resources. We’d have stronger social connections. When did we go astray and was it worth it?

    • Angela says...

      I think what you are missing in your historical account is how communally we lived. We’ve become more individualistic in the US over time, and plenty of other global societies are very community focused. It’s not the outside world we are dependent on, it’s the fact we were never meant to live alone and without the cooperation of others. Whose basic lifestyle is this? I lean introvert, but this is confinement.

    • suki says...

      But the benefit of expansion is that we evolve social intelligence much faster. Otherwise people tend to become incredibly rigid socially and emotionally. We need constant mix-in’s from the outside world to keep our minds open and growing and aware of the need for acceptance.

  62. Nicole says...

    Who isn’t talking about what’s for dinner, the characters on the show they are watching together, their meandering dreams, the cats, the kids, the news, their latest meditation app, how their clothing is no longer fitting, how many steps they took – give me a hot bath by myself thank you very much :)

  63. Rue says...

    Talk as our dog, duh.

    The one I can’t stop laughing about: a few weeks ago I voiced our dog’s firsthand narrative of a pandemic vet appointment (where I wait in the car, poor buddy). My partner kept repeating one line I’d said, and then he was like, “it’s just so good. it’s something he would actually say!!”

    That’s where we’ve gotten in the pandemic. We rank our dog dialogue by: is it something we’re saying on behalf of the dog, or something the dog would ACTUALLY say. You know, the dog who can’t talk.

    (If anyone’s curious, I’m sure this will never be as funny to anyone else, but my husband “asked the dog” if mama had to get shots at the vet, or if it was only him who got poked, and “the dog” (I) said in panicked voice, “I don’t know! We got separated!”)

    • Jen says...

      Hahaha!

    • Jen says...

      hahahaha! I get that completely

    • Saba says...

      Hahaha!

    • M says...

      I just want you to know I took a screenshot of your comment and sent it to my twin sister and we are dying laughing at your we got separated line.
      I wish we could be friends with y’all!

    • Amy says...

      I have tears rolling down my cheeks! This is the funniest thing I’ve read in forever!

    • S. says...

      Omg this is too funny!!

    • I am not even a dog person and I love this – hahahahaha

    • Rue says...

      oh my gosh, thanks for the love, internet friends!! I would totally love to be IRL friends too!

    • Lara says...

      Hahahahaha this is hilarious

      The question itself is so great. COJ mows how to get the best out of this group! :)

      I wish movies showed these kind of interactions/details in relationships more often

      M – I also took a screenshot for my sister (and of the comment about the twins living together haha) l

  64. Jenn says...

    THE DOG

  65. C says...

    Mostly we talk about how we can’t believe we are not sick of each other yet, what we should get at the grocery store, and where we should get take-out next Wednesday (our take out night)… It’s boring but working I guess is my tagline for all of this.

  66. jenna says...

    Does anyone have game recs for two people? We have lots of games but they mostly require multiple people. I would love something my husband and I can play together since we aren’t seeing friends + family right now.

    • hm says...

      Wingspan! It’s a birding game, which sounds ridiculous. It is absolutely beautiful, plays well with 2 (or even 1!) person, and every single game is totally different, so you have to change your strategy with every hand.

      But a word of warning: the first setup looks really intimidating, but watch the 16-minute YouTube video and you’ll be good to go.

    • Monica says...

      Bananagrams, Scrabble, SkipBo, and our favorite isn’t really a game – The Hygge Game. Questions for inviting cozy conversation!

    • Elspeth says...

      Kingdom Builder! We love it and it is different every time you play it, so doesn’t get boring. The rules seem daunting at first but once you get the hang of it it’s really fun!

    • Emily says...

      Ticket to Ride! It gets us so competitive, as we race across the country buying up railroads.

    • Jen says...

      Lost Cities
      Codenames Duet
      Forbidden Desert

    • Rachel says...

      I am HERE for Wingspan. And the expansion pack.

      My husband is a big board games person, and the pandemic has gone on long enough that we’re playing some very geeky game called Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion…

    • Shelly says...

      Cribbage is our 2-person game right now.

    • Michelle says...

      Jaipur is a fun game, it’s designed for just two.

    • Andrea says...

      Definitely ticket to ride and sequence! The one we play the most is Star Realms…I bought it for my fiance at the start of the pandemic, before it was called a pandemic and before we went into lockdown – we were supposed to go out to a bar for a friend’s birthday and I convinced him it wasn’t smart – and 2 days later, we were in total lockdown – but I felt awful and bought this game as sort of a consolation game night thing and now he/we are obsessed! We have played at least 100 games, likely more.

    • Katie S. says...

      My boyfriend and I recently learned how to play cribbage and we love it! Pro tip: We watched a YouTube video together to learn so that we didn’t jump down each others’ throats when the other person’s explanation wasn’t, shall we say, up to par.

    • Katie says...

      I second Wingspan and also a 2 person game called Morels! Both are super fun as just 2 person games :)

    • Eli says...

      Azul!!

    • Alexandra says...

      +1 for Wingspan, especially if you can get your hands on both expansions. The learning curve is a little steep, but once you get the swing of it games only take ~30-45 min. It has huge replay value, plus it’s BEAUTIFUL (and educational!). Plus plus it was designed by a woman, which is a big deal in the gaming world.

    • elly says...

      We play Rummikub almost every weekday after work with a cocktail! It’s slower than when played with more people, but it’s still fun with two.

    • Sydni Jackson says...

      We like Lost Cities and Seven Wonders: Duel. I got Tiny Towns for Christmas which can even be played solo!

    • e says...

      five crowns!

    • katie says...

      Ticket to Ride and Pandemic are great! (Pandemic is a bit more intense these days, obviously, but still fun.) I also got a game from my buy-nothing group called Bob Ross: The Art of Chill, which is super random but also kind of competitive! You’re competing to collect art supplies and paint pictures.

    • Sarah says...

      Spot it and Man Bites Dog. I bought these a couple years ago for my husband and I to play together. Also if you want to try virtual game nights with friends/family, I recommend Jack box! Super user friendly and you can play over Zoom (probably any video chat)

  67. Carrie Lynn says...

    The semi centennial semi toast conversations, Solemn and weary we raised three children to adulthood, The silence has begun to grow. In my head I am twenty fighting to stay youthful physically and mentally, That is a chore upon all else that brings me solace. If we are not talking about food or our children, sometimes silence is a gift it can be done alone or with a loved one. Nature is such a healing antidote, it is peaceful and never judges. xo

  68. Julie says...

    We spend waaaay too much time getting annoyed at all of the old people indoor dining at the restaurant across the street. Every other day my husband says, “There’s no one that loves dining out more than me, so who are all these people dining out in an airborne pandemic? Don’t they know it’s airborne? Where are they getting their news?” We shake our heads. We’ve been shaking our heads for a year. I almost screamed when they put up a “Brunch is Back” sign a couple of months ago.

    Sometimes my four year old looks out the window and sees someone with a mask on their chin and yells, “Pull up your mask!”

    There’s a family with two young kids that walk by our house every weekend morning. They get coffee to go at the shop around the corner and keep walking. They all wear masks properly, even the kids. My husband compliments them on their mask wearing (from inside the house where they can’t hear us). Now when I see them, I call to my husband, “Your family is walking by. Such good mask wearing!”

    • seh says...

      are you us? lol. we are the SAMEEEEEEE. what i would not give to pay $5656 for a glass of marginal white wine and an under-seasoned appetizer.
      small talk with a stranger?!?

    • Romy says...

      😄

    • jill says...

      Julie, this is priceless!
      You get to spy on everyone and comment about their behavior as you’re watching them behind closed windows. Hahahaha! I’m jealous!

  69. I recently got pregnant for the second time, and we can’t talk about it during the day because we want to keep the news from our 4yo for as long as possible (he had a hard enough time waiting a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas!) So we tend to gravitate towards some weird, baby-adjacent topic at least once every evening once it’s just us. Last night it was “names we will never ever give to our child.” We don’t yet have a list of names we like, but apparently, we’re very firm on the ones we don’t! (And then I read this post to my husband and we both cracked up.)

  70. June says...

    While my husband was running errands the other day, we started texting each other little jokes, “i love you”, and silly emojis. It was fun! Sort of like the old days, when we’d text during the work day.

    Some of the conversations from our house (two adults and three kids) in the last 24 hours:
    Parenting stuff
    The difference between Korean miso and Japanese miso
    Things in the house to put in a salad
    Meal planning for the next two weeks
    Favorite OK GO music video
    Favorite Mark Rober video
    Favorite Harry Potter characters and books, including a rather lengthy sidetrack on what exactly the Malfoy home would be like
    Things you can blow up in Minecraft
    News reviews and commentary (we’ve fallen into a habit of alternating who reads the news and provides the summary to the other, lol)
    The weather, obviously
    Kitchen appliances and gear purchased by other people and what they could make with them
    Extensive negotiating over a board/card game to play together (resulted in not enough time to actually play)
    A word-by-word replay of a phone call my husband had with his brother
    Commenting on dogs being walked past our house
    Hypothesizing about the reasons for contractor trucks at our neighbor’s house
    Funny things the kids did as toddlers (this is recently one of their favorite dinner topics)

    • Angela says...

      Why do I always have to hear the conversation word for word? Why does he need to have the conversation twice?

    • Sarah says...

      I have also started texting cute messages to my husband. Even though he’s working in our basement and I’m upstairs. I think it helps to keep the romance alive. We used to do this all the time when he worked at the office.

  71. Jenn says...

    My husband isn’t into any “internet culture” at all. He also likes a lot of podcasts that aren’t my jam. All of which means at the end of the work day or on our long weekend walks, I can give him full recaps of all of the podcast episodes I’ve been listening to, or the latest media world internet brouhaha and hubbub. We also like to talk through daydreams for future travels, like “if we go to Japan, would you want to spend the whole time in one neighbourhood in Tokyo, or would you want to explore the country?”