Have a Delicious Weekend.

Yes, I second this!!!!!

Thank you for your eloquent explanation! To me it sounds like donations and advocating for justice is the most patriotic way to spend the fourth. The Declaration of Independence literally says that we are entitled “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” To everyone questioning those not “celebrating” the 4th of July – isn’t fighting for the very rights outlined in our founding the best way to celebrate?

Chana, I completely agree. I was struck by the same thing. Very disappointing. Our country might be broken in some ways, but there is always something to celebrate and honor. Thank you for speaking up!

Came here to comment the same thing, Chana! CoJ seems to be toeing the party line, where being anti-racist means being anti-American as well. Disappointed is the right word.

i cant agree more. its a scary world we are living in.

Chana

Wow. Your bald attempt at making an issue out of no issue is worthy of McCarthy. You might as well ask when Joanna stopped beating her children.

Maybe everyone who reads this should have to report how they spent the long weekend. Those deemed not gloriously patriotic enough might need to go to a reeducation camp and reflect on the enormous sacrifices blog shamers have made throughout history.

I think you may be confusing July 4th with Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day?

Andrea, you are more than entitled to whatever your opinions may be, but please ladies- let’s keep this respectful. What has been disappointing to me is the lack of moderation on the part of CoJ to inhibit people from being rude to one another. It seems to me that when someone disagrees with the popular point of view on this blog, some feel that it’s okay to bite back hard and rude. Let’s welcome all dialogue, and please remember that when you reference the diversity embraced in the blog, true diversity includes a spectrum of left to right views.
Joanna, perhaps you’d like to take a look at Elizabeth Holmes’ website So Many Thoughts (whom you introduced me to! Love her!) and see how she handles impolite and rude comments. She handles it really well. Comments such as “the internet is free, educate yourself”- especially from a staff writer- should not be allowed. Let’s just be nice, please!

Hmm, interesting perspective. I just don’t know, I’ve never thought of nice as a contradiction to action or strength of conviction. I’ve never met Martin Luther King Jr. but I’ve always envisioned him as a kind gentleman with strong convictions. All the true real life leaders I’ve ever met were nice people. I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one, and hope really hard that others do too.
Something else to think about- Brene Brown has done a lifetime of work on vulnerability and shame, and the research is unequivocal: shaming others is never an effective means of effecting change. Just something to consider.

Hi! I hope I can help you understand.

Celebrating (someone’s) freedom is in bad taste when children are in cages in the U.S., Black and Native men are far more likely to be harassed and murdered by the police in the U.S., and Donald Trump is hosting an event at Mt Rushmore (a sacred place for the Lakota which was stolen, then vandalized with the faces of slave owners and genocide supporters).

Imagine going to an indulgent dinner party that was held right next to a group of people who were starving. You’d hopefully feel pretty uncomfortable about that, right? That’s how celebrating the 4th of July feels to a lot of us who are aware and effected by the injustices I listed above.

Or, if you’d like to read the 1850 perspective on this, here’s Frederick Douglas: “What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sound of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants brass fronted impudence; your shout of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanks-givings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy — a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.”

I hope that helps :)

Wtf. Not acknowledging holidays doesn’t mean one hates ANYTHING. Are you aware that there is more to a nation and more to a home than holidays? The only abuse is your gaslighting.

Thank you, EL. Beautifully said.

EL,

I hear your sentiments, and kindly submit that you are free to give up your citizenship to any one of those very children who were put in cages (beginning during the Obama administration).

Please practice what you preach. You’re the one sitting at that fancy dinner table you mentioned while people starve: typing your response in your stolen house on stolen land, presumably on a laptop or phone device that is the product of corporate capitalism. But the fact that you refuse to acknowledge a holiday, go woke on social media, and quote Fredrick Douglass absolves you of your hypocrisy I guess.

RH, thanks for your response! It seems like you weren’t sure how to do more than have social media exchanges– my suggestion is to look into reparations as a substantive way to move past the hypocrisy you’ve referenced. Resource Generation (https://resourcegeneration.org/land-reparations-indigenous-solidarity-action-guide/) has information I’ve found super helpful. I hope it’s helpful for you too, and that you’re excited to start accounting for your position as a settler.

Really glad you’re so sincerely interested in this work. :)

RH, you’re not “trying to understand.” EL has done an excellent job of explaining and giving you tools; they did not need to do this emotional labor for you, and you’ve been nothing but purposefully obtuse and snarky. Exchange your citizenship for one of those kids in cages? What in the ever-loving logical fallacy is that? It’s disingenuous to claim that you’re trying to learn here. Be honest.

EL, and Joanna and Co., thank you for your respect surrounding this time in our history.

Immigration is a beautiful thing. However, our society is increasingly leaning towards the demonetization of immigrants. Immigrants, particularly those who are undocumented and those that are unable to vote to make their voices heard do not have the same power to push back against this as those with privilege. Your suggestion that privileged people take themselves elsewhere if they don’t like it is the antithesis of what one should be doing with their privilege. If all these privileged people you mention pack up and leave, what happens to those that have no power? It is the ultimate selfish act of someone with privilege to leave and allow others to suffer under an oppressive administration because you don’t like how things are going. Especially when the thing you don’t like is how those without power are being treated.

Note: I am ashamed to admit that I posted my previous comment without reading the article. I don’t ever do that, but I did. I had a knee jerk reaction that came from a very different context: I am Canadian and living where Covid has not hit too badly (thanks in great part to government response). Where I live, the minimum wage is over 11$ an hour. I realize I am living in a very different situation than discussed in the article. I was surprised to read in the comments below that a server in Manhattan might only make 3$ an hour. (Did I understand correctly??? I had no idea.)

Having read the article fully, I admit I understand the author’s point, though I still don’t think I agree with the solution that everyone must tip 50%or more. The fact remains that many people cannot afford to tip that highly. Huge tips would mean that only the wealthy can eat out. Since it seems there is not much government support for these restaurants or their employees, they have no choice but to work through the pandemic. So it is still important to patronize these establishments, or they will sadly close and the servers will lose their jobs. What a conundrum.

I don’t know what the solution is, and maybe it is not my place to suggest, but it truly sounds like the problem is in the system. Better minimum wage laws are needed, and support for people and small businesses so that they don’t have to endanger their health in areas where the pandemic is widespread. And under the circumstances, both servers AND clients should be wearing masks.

Exactly… wondering why you’re encouraging us as consumers to make up for government policies that make it okay to pay a waiter $3/hour in Manhattan ? Why not simply petition for a real salary or minimum wage for waiters + restaurant workers? Goes back to the discussion on BLM – it’s not enough to make anecdotal efforts here and there, rather, it’s time for systemic change to tackle a systemic issue. This isn’t a matter of “tip more if you can.” This is about how to ensure that those at the bottom of the income pyramid have a minimum wage that’s compatible with the cost of living.

I agree! Eating out fits into my (student) budget only about once a month anyways, so being obligated to tip 50% would prohibit me from supporting local establishments at all.

I agree with Elizabeth completely. Everyone talks about needing to rebuild the economy but where is the concern for the workers. What used to be considered a “very decent tip” doesn’t cover the cost of what you are asking service people to do. Restaurants are seating fewer people for safety, so waiters work the same amount of hours to make far less. In addition, they are now putting their health at risk. The system was already exploitative, now it’s untenable.

To Miranda, who said “wondering why you’re encouraging us as consumers to make up for government policies that make it okay to pay a waiter $3/hour”. If the government raises the minimum wage for waiters (as it should), the restaurant owners (who generally don’t see a large profit margin) will pass that cost onto the consumer by raising the price of the dish. What you as a consumer have gotten used to as the cost of a dish when eating out has been artificially low. The cost of a meal in countries paying a fair wage and not relying on tips is far higher.

We in the U.S. have a huge problem with entitlement. Going out to eat and being served and cleaned up after is not something we’re entitled to, especially if it comes at the expense of others.

Laura,
That would be okay. As you said eating out is a luxury. Not everyone can afford it if we pay the true (non-exploitative) cost, just as not everyone can afford a servant or buy a big house.

Hi Marie,
I’m very aware of the ways all our food systems are exploitative as I have spent my life working in the restaurant industry, farming, and at non-profits working to improve these conditions. Saying that food from grocery stores is exploitative doesn’t detract from the issues with dining out. Both things are true, both need attention and care from consumers. What you call social policing and arrogance is often just people trying to raise the level of consciousness in The U.S. about an issue that truly doesn’t get discussed often enough because the people who are suffering are not people with power or a platform. It can be frustrating to be met with people prioritizing their desire for a luxury experience over someone else’s wellbeing.

Maybe my reply was too curt and not a full explanation in this situation. I’m sorry for that. As I made my way down this comments section I was replying over and over in different threads to people who seem to feel that cheap food is an entitlement even if it is hurting others. It is really disheartening to read that so many times. Laura started by saying that eating out is a luxury, which I agree with, and then added the second sentence that seems to say that even though it’s a luxury, it’s more important not to exclude anyone from the experience than to protect the workers.

lmao “anti-America conclave.” huh?

Please google (better yet, google image search) conclave. not to be a vocal minority or anything but I got an lol out of it

Oh boy, Gloria. Just going to say it:
1) Where you live in America doesn’t make you more pro-American or anti-American, it just makes you… American.
2) America’s “not fully realized purpose” you describe is exactly what a majority of Americans are intently focused on achieving right now (see the “that all men are created equal” bit of the Declaration of Independence you’ll be celebrating this weekend). Seeking justice and equality for all is the greatest show of belief in American democracy I can think of.
3) Strongly loving America means supporting each other in these goals, not leaving snide remarks on a blog because it fails to mention the Fourth of July.
Whew! Have a great weekend!

Thank you Gloria! I agree! There is not even the faintest mention that this weekend we celebrate our independence as a country – that should be on the forefront of everyone’s minds. Instead tipping 100% made the list which is a big NO.

Appreciate your perspective. I’m living in the same relatively small Virginia town I grew up in, and I just can’t celebrate July 4th this year. I’m reconciling everyone’s experience of living in America, past and present, and it’s been a painful experience for many people. Maybe next year, maybe not.

I had the same thought, Gloria!

There is also never a mention of Memorial Day weekend or Veteran’s Day weekend—beyond to say that it’s a “long” weekend. It definitely seems like a conscious decision and I do find it disappointing. Jo has made a lot of money off of two very American institutions—the First Amendment and capitalism!

Let’s be able to hold the tension. I can hope that Juneteenth becomes a national holiday and also marvel at living in the world’s oldest (continuously running) democracy. America is a very deeply flawed and still stunningly beautiful friend and I’m happy to celebrate her birthday.

It’s Cup of Jo’s prerogative to celebrate holidays as they wish. With all the strife in the USA, the need for change, and the current leadership, mixed emotions on the 4th of July are understandable. CofJ is a blog that always celebrates what it means to be American: by being diverse and progressive, and using its influence to support the vision of what a beautiful country the USA has the potential to be.

it’s a bit of a leap to go from no mention of the 4th to anti-american. people, a little grace here please.

Hi Gloria

Personally, I find your statement pretty b*tchy and baiting. I guess you’ve never been to the Tristate region, because here you’ll find America in all of it’s diversity and vigor. I think we represent the American dream and American values pretty well. We’ve even been a center of terrorist threats because of what we represent.

NYC is America maybe even more than your mall-based suburbs.

Kisses-A

Lots of great follow up comments here but I just need to add that I’m glad Jo didn’t mention the holiday weekend. Americans are free to celebrate (or not) as they choose.

Hi Anna,

Which country would you identify as the world’s oldest democracy?

Thanks,
SG

Deanna,
Also, Jo’s husband is a member of the press and a free press is outlined in the First Amendment so my connection is not tenuous at all, but incredibly direct.

Agree! Wow. What an amazing essay.